Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the
Radiant Life Podcast.
I'm your host, rae, the SomaticCoach, and I'm here to support
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your future so that you canbecome the most centered,
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Each week, I'll be bringing youepisodes to help you navigate
life's challenges, ease stressand tension and learn more about
(00:24):
holistic healing, spiritualityand wellness.
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I am so happy that you'velanded here.
(00:45):
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Rae,I'm a somatic coach and
breathwork facilitator, and ifyou aren't new here, welcome
back.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin for today's episode, for
today we're going to just diveright into the material.
(01:06):
I have no front desk itemannouncements that I can think
of, and yeah, so we're justgoing to dive right in.
So today we will be chattingabout energetic leaks, and the
reason why I chose this topic isbecause, when it comes to doing
boundary work, there's going tobe things that come up where
(01:28):
you're like oh, is this servingme or is this not serving me?
And that can come up in so manydifferent areas and oftentimes
with energetic leaks.
They are subtle.
It's subtle ways that you giveaway your time, your attention,
your energy, even your emotionalcapacity, without even
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realizing it.
That's why they're leaks.
They're like these, like littleholes that we like don't know
what's going on and then overtime, eventually we end up
feeling depleted.
So it's a little bit nuancedand different than setting like
a conscious boundary, becauseoftentimes these are unconscious
habits or patterns that drainus over time.
And similar to the snowballeffect that I always talk about
(02:16):
with breath work, where I'm likeoh, if you do five minutes of
breath work a day, it adds upover time and your nervous
system will thank you for thatbecause it's going to be able to
resource from a different place.
This is the similar, a similarthing where over time it has a
snowball effect and because ofthat, instead of expanded
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nervous system regulation andcapacity and window of tolerance
, you end up with things likeburnout, resentment or just a
loss of your personal autonomy.
You end up kind of like,there's like, or just a loss of
your personal autonomy.
You end up kind of like there'slike, this sense of like, oh
like things feel a little out ofyour control and I've been
there, trust me.
These are things that we allnavigate and just bringing more
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awareness to these topics, Ithink I broke it out in a good
way, because there are just likeso many different ways that we
could feel differentenergetically.
So I tried to break it down in away that would feel
understandable.
So hopefully I did that today.
But typically your body willfeel it before your mind
realizes what's going on.
So this could look likeconstantly feeling exhausted,
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feeling frustrated, feelingoverwhelmed, having a lot of
tension in your body or thingsjust generally feeling a bit off
.
So there are a few differentways and common ways that we can
have energetic leaks, and thefirst is in our relationships.
So this could be romanticrelationships, friendships,
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platonic like it could beanything.
And I will share a little bit ofa story and I'm always, like,
conscious of what I'm sharing onthe podcast.
I try not to, like you know,talk about things that are like
I'm trying, I'm not.
I'm not trying to talk aboutbadly about any of my previous
relationships, so, but I do wantto share this one story that I
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think will help to put intocontext around energetic leaks.
So I was.
This was like years ago I wasseeing this guy and we were
dating for about a year and itbasically turned into that
situation where one person in arelationship is just totally
(04:28):
over giving and receivingnothing in return.
And I remember there was thismoment where my family was like,
uh, what were we doing?
It was like a family dinner orsomething like that.
Like my family was gettingdinner and this person was
supposed to come and his excusewas that he was cleaning out his
(04:52):
fridge.
Swear to god, that was hisexcuse.
He said, oh, I can't come todinner, I'm cleaning out my
fridge.
And that was the end of therelationship.
I was like, are you effingkidding me?
Sorry, I don't curse on thepodcast, but that that needed
one, that needed one.
So you can find this inrelationships over giving,
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energetic leaks, things that arejust not serving you, and what
happens in relationships overtime is that resentment builds.
You could be replaying oldarguments in your head.
You could be over analyzingtext.
So this is where, like, anxietycomes into play.
You could be trying to fixother people's problems, so
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taking things on as your own tosolve when they're not.
It's not your side of thestreet, and I'll get into that
in a minute but you can onlytake care of what's yours to
take care of.
You can't do it for two peoplein any relationship friendship
or romantic.
You could be constantly feelingexhausted after spending time
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with certain people and againyou could be in a one-sided
relationship.
So what I would suggest you todo is again check in with your
body when you are in thisrelationship.
Is your chest feeling tight?
Are you finding yourself in alot of mental spirals?
Are you generally feelingunsafe?
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Are you carrying aroundsomething that needs to be
healed or solved that isn'tyours to heal?
It is not your material to workwith.
And I'll share another littlestory here.
When I went this past October soOctober of 2024, I did a
breathwork facilitator trainingin California, which was awesome
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.
It was my first time in LA.
I had a lot of fun and I thinkit was like I don't know if it
was the first day or the secondday I was there, I can't
remember, but on one of the daysI basically had this moment in
a breathwork session where Istarted like physically moving
my hands and like pushing awayenergy and I had this
realization that there was a lotof stuff that wasn't mine to
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process, that I was trying toprocess, and it was just the
most cathartic like biggestshift.
It was probably my biggestshift that I took away from that
weekend because it just wasn'tmy material, and that's a really
great feeling, like you end upfeeling lighter and you end up
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feeling more expanded and youend up feeling like freer in
your body.
So energetic leaks can again.
They're unconscious, they'rethings that we're taking on,
that we don't necessarily haveawareness around, and so that's
what I was doing.
I was trying to metabolize andwork through some stuff that
wasn't mine to work through andcheck in with your body.
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So check in with your body whenyou're with certain people,
when you're doing certain things.
Is it energizing, is it givingyou energy or is it depleting
your energy?
Which brings me to that phrasethat I had said a minute ago,
which is you can only clean upyour side of the street.
You can't clean up the wholeroad.
You can't take on everythingfor everybody and try and clean
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up everything.
You can only take ownership forwhat's yours, and that might
look like having more directconversations, which builds off
of the last two episodes aroundboundaries and communication.
It could look like learning topause, so taking a second to
pause.
What's mine, what's going onfor me here in my world, in my
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experience Not necessarily forthe other person checking in
with yourself and you can alsouse different energetic release
practices, so that could looklike breath work, that could
look like somatic shaking EFTtapping is great for release and
that will help you to dischargeany emotional energy that's not
yours.
The other place that energeticleaks can show up is with our
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time, and so this shows up ifyou are the go-to yes person for
everything, so you are theperson that is there for advice,
for help, for last minutefavors.
You're the person that everyonewants you to cover for them.
When they call out of work, itis you and you are the
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never-ending well of giving awayyour time.
But your time is important,it's your time, it's your energy
, and your energy is your lifeforce.
Energy and your breath is yourlife force.
And yeah, so notice how yourbody feels.
Are you feeling resentful orregretful from saying yes too
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quickly?
And if you are again, use thepause.
You can pause.
You can say let me get back toyou.
Protect your time for whattruly restores you and that
doesn't mean like there's nuancehere.
Obviously you're going to showup like for your friends and
your family and and work andthings like that.
We're talking about overgiving.
We're talking aboutoverextending energetic leaks,
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time leaks, things that are notserving you because you're
constantly giving away your time.
Notice how it feels in yourbody when you are being too
overgiving and maybe evenregretful of saying yes too
quickly, and you can say,instead of saying yes, you can
say oh, let me get back to you,I'll get right back to you.
Give me a few minutes and checkin with your body.
(10:19):
See if it's something thatfeels aligned for you to say yes
to.
So we've been talking aboutenergetic leaks in terms of
relationships and time leaks,but, generally speaking, if you
are leaking your energy throughover giving or even shrinking
like, like trying to um contractto feel more safe, these are a
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few things that you can do.
So the first is protect yourenergy, strengthen your
boundaries, learn what yourpersonal capacity is and learn
to say no as a complete sentence, and you can also track your
energy throughout the day, sothat could look like checking in
(11:03):
with yourself.
You could even like journal orkeep whether it's like a
physical journal or using likethe notes section of your phone,
if have an aura ring that alsocan tell you like your stress
levels.
And I saw this one, I saw thisone meme where it was like the
emojis of all of the differentemotions that women feel
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throughout the day.
And it's true, like we feellike so many different emotions
and so many different thingsthroughout the day.
So check in with yourselfthroughout the day and you can
also check in with yourself atthe end of the day and do like
kind of like an end of the dayreflection to see how your
energy has been feelingthroughout the day, like what
added to it, what depleted it.
Get more familiar with yourpersonal capacity, capacity and,
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as you're getting more in touchwith your personal capacity,
notice what feels tense, noticewhat feels open and expansive
and, again, be intentional withyour time.
So own your personal energy.
Say yes when that feels alignedand say nope, I can't manage
that, or not right now, whenthat feels good too.
So three somatic practices thatare great for energetic leaks.
The first is allowing yourselfto call all of your energy back
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to you.
So this can look likevisualizing a golden light
coming back into your body andvisualizing your aura around you
.
And then, as you're visualizingyour aura around you, you can
see, you can visualize are thereany holes in your aura, in your
energy, that need to be patchedup?
And give yourself the time to,kind of like, mend each of these
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holes, mend each one and patchup your space.
The second thing you can do issomatic shaking.
So this is something that yousee a lot in nature with
different animals.
If something happens, if twoanimals get into like a fight,
or one is chasing the other oranything like that, you'll see
at the end of it the animal willshake their body, like
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frantically, they're going toshake, shake, shake, shake,
shake, shake, because that'swhat's helping them shake off
and regulate, re-regulate totheir normal pattern, their
normal way of being.
And then the third is imagininga bubble of protection around
you.
So this could be like anenergetic bubble of protection,
and this is something that'sthere to do exactly that.
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So it's there to protect youfrom anything externally.
Nothing can come into yourpersonal protection bubble.
That is yours and it's going tokeep you separate from anything
externally and anythinginternally that is there to help
you feel protected and safe.
And then the last one I'llmention is also from the Mel
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Robbins Let them Theory book andher whole theory around let
them, let me is definitelyapplicable here.
It's something that, if you arestruggling with any kind of
energetic leak or giving yourenergy away towards something
externally that's out of yourcontrol, you can apply the let
them, which means many differentthings if you read the whole
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book, but to summarize in thisuh setting, it means let them
have their reaction, let them dowhat they need to do.
You know, let them do theirthing and let me be in control
of what's in my control.
So what is in my control?
My thoughts, my energy, myboundaries, how I speak, how I
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be, things like that.
So let them and let me Allright.
So, to recap today's episode, wechatted about energetic leaks.
We chatted about energeticleaks.
We chatted about how they showup in different relationships,
uh, how they show up withdifferent time commitments and a
bunch of different things thatyou can do to track and protect
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your own energy, and also somesomatic practices that are
supportive for that as well.
So thank you so much for tuninginto today's episode.
If you have any questions, ifyou want to chat about anything
that came up, you just send me aDM or an email and I'm happy to
chat.
So I hope that you have anincredible rest of your day, an
incredible rest of your week,and I will talk to you soon.
(15:11):
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(15:33):
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I'm so happy that you're hereand I can now wait to talk with
you on our next episode of theRadiant Life podcast.