April 2, 2025 • 19 mins
Welcome! The Raediant Life Podcast is now officially renamed to the Somatic Healing for Wellness-Focused Women Podcast, a title that better reflects the depth, intention, and embodiment work we explore in each episode.
In this episode, we’re diving deep into a topic close to my heart: rethinking anxiety. If you’ve ever wished you could just “get rid” of anxiety, this conversation will offer a powerful reframe.
What we’ll explore:
🌀 Anxiety isn’t the enemy—it’s a signal, not a flaw.
🌀 A breakdown of the science behind anxiety—what happens in the body (fight, flight, freeze, fawn), and why it matters
🌀 Personal stories on how anxiety has shown up in my life—and how learning to listen shifted everything
🌀 How to reframe anxiety as intelligence, not a problem
🌀 Why eliminating anxiety isn’t the goal—and how to respond with curiosity, compassion, and nervous system awareness
🌀 A gentle somatic practice to connect with what’s present in your body and meet it with care
Whether you're dealing with daily stress, perfectionism, or deeper emotional patterns, this episode will help you begin relating to anxiety as a guide—not a roadblock.
Don’t forget: the April newsletter is live! Sign up via the link in the show notes to receive monthly reflections, somatic tools, and soulful updates.
Tune in now to reconnect with your inner wisdom and start meeting anxiety from a place of understanding, not fear.
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Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Radiant Life Podcast.
I'm your host, rae, the SomaticCoach, and I'm here to support
you in healing your past, livingin the present and creating
your future so that you canbecome the most centered,
embodied and happiest version ofyourself.
Each week, I'll be bringing youepisodes to help you navigate
life's challenges, ease stressand tension and learn more about
(00:24):
holistic healing, spiritualityand wellness.
If you're interested inbecoming the best version of
yourself so that you can livethe life of your dreams, then
you're in the right place.
Subscribe to the podcast andthe monthly newsletter and
follow me on Instagram andTikTok to know when new episodes
are released each week.
I am so happy that you'velanded here.
(00:45):
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Rae.
I'm a somatic coach andbreathwork facilitator, and if
you aren't new here, welcomeback.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin for today's episode.
So two front desk items beforewe dive into today's topic.
(01:07):
The first is that the monthlynewsletter went out on April 1st
, which I believe is yesterdaywhen this episode will be
released, and the theme for thismonth's newsletter is around
anxiety and working with anxietyhealing anxiety and everything
anxiety, basically.
So that is what we'll be doingthis month on the podcast.
(01:30):
I'm going to be doing afour-part series all around the
different elements of anxietyand how we can work with this
emotion and so on, so forth.
So I'm excited to bring to youthis series and I hope that it
supports you.
The second front desk item isthat we do have a new name for
(01:50):
the podcast.
So the new name has landed.
Thank you if you voted on theInstagram poll that I had posted
last week and you participated.
Thank you so much.
So the new name is InnerRadiiance somatic breath and
soul, and it's going to take mea little bit of time to update
(02:11):
all the elements of the podcastand the branding and all that
stuff, but the name has landedat least.
So the reason for this changeis I really pour in so much of
my time and energy and heart andsoul into the podcast and I
really want people to be able tofind me organically.
(02:32):
So that looks like whensomebody you know comes on to
search for anything on ApplePodcasts or Spotify, they're not
finding my previous namebecause it's not very searchable
and I know on the outside itmight look like oh yeah, having
a podcast is easy.
Like every week, a new episodeshows up, but the process from
(02:58):
start to finish takes like a fewhours.
You know, I have to figure outwhat it is that I want to speak
about.
That might include taking somenotes or doing a little bit of
prep or planning, and othertimes it doesn't.
Sometimes I, you know, do it onthe fly and then I have to plan
.
So I need to, you know,schedule time, record the
(03:21):
episode and then, as I'mrecording the episode, sometimes
I do take breaks, so I'll takelike a long pause, which means
that I need to go back and editout those long pauses.
Then it's ready to upload andthen, after I upload it, you
need to put like, you need tocome up with a title, you need
(03:43):
to come up with a description.
So anyway, long story short, alot of my heart and soul is
pouring into the podcast and I'dreally love if more people
could find me.
So if you are one of those newpeople, welcome.
Maybe you found me throughsearch and maybe not, and either
way, I'm excited for thislittle change and for this
(04:04):
little rebrand and we'll seewhere it takes us.
So those are the front deskitems for today and let's dive
into our first topic of thismonth, which is around anxiety,
and it's that anxiety isn't theenemy and how we can rethink
what it might be trying tocommunicate to you.
(04:27):
So my personal story withanxiety is it's something that I
had struggled with for a verylong time, especially when I was
in really as young as middleschool, high school, definitely
in college and a bitpost-college as well.
So for a majority really of mylife, I'd say for the first 27,
(04:51):
28 years, I really, reallystruggled with anxiety, and it
was something that I kind ofjust always navigated myself.
It wasn't really until I wasaround 24, when my dad had
passed away unexpectedly and,although I had already been
struggling with anxiety, itbrought it from like something
(05:14):
that I was struggling with tosomething that was just really
unmanageable.
Um, and that is when I reallydove into okay, like clearly
what I'm doing isn't working,like what else, what there has
to be like another way, becauseI was feeling like this is just
the way that I'm going to be.
You know, like that's kind ofhow it felt like for me and yeah
(05:38):
, I mean I definitely run alittle hot sometimes that's what
I like to call it these days isyeah, it can be, definitely can
be anxious sometimes, but fromall of the work that I've
discovered for myself and all ofthe things that I bring into my
work with my clients, it isconversation to, yeah, reframe
it, because anxiety itself isreally intelligence.
(06:13):
It is bringing you some kind ofinformation, it is bringing you
insight, it is bringing you analert to let you become aware of
something, and it's not aquote-unquote problem.
It's not something that is likea problem or something that is
wrong with you.
It is a response to somethingthat's happening.
(06:35):
And I will say that one of thethings that I've learned
personally, and something thatI've been able to help my
clients with as well, islearning what the difference is
when you feel anxious versuswhat your intuition might be
saying.
So kind of like that differencebetween fear and intuition.
(06:58):
And is this like an intuitivehit that you're feeling or is
this your anxiety that might berunning the show and I can share
an example is something thatwas really coming up for me
previously in a lot of myrelationships was this anxious
part, and this anxious part keptcoming up and coming up, coming
up, and I remember one of thelast breakups that I went
(07:22):
through, um, I kind of had thismoment where I was like I felt
like I kept choosing the otherperson and I kind of had this
moment where I decided I wasn'tgoing to do that anymore and I
learned that this anxious partwas actually just kind of
seeking something from someoneelse rather than really feeling
(07:45):
and receiving something from memyself actually.
So this anxious part of myselfhad a need and, instead of
allowing myself to meet thatneed, I was trying to get that
to happen from somebody else andI didn't know this was
happening.
This was, you know, totallysubconscious.
So, although I was feelinganxious in some of my
(08:06):
relationships, I actually had aneed, the inside, like an inner
child need, that needed to bemet.
That I had no awareness aroundand it really dissipated my
anxiety significantly.
I mean, it was prettyincredible to actually feel the
shift in perspective and feelthe difference.
And that is how I became sopassionate about inner child
(08:30):
work, because the moment that Iexperienced it myself, I was
like, oh, this is prettypowerful stuff.
And another element of anxietythat was really oh, this is
pretty powerful stuff.
And another element of anxietythat was really really powerful
for me to understand and learnabout was what was happening in
the body and the nervoussystem's response when you're
feeling anxious.
So this was actually somethingthat I learned in like day two
(08:53):
or something like so in thebeginning of one of my somatic
coaching certifications, and Iremember learning this and being
like, oh my gosh, I wishsomeone had told me this,
because it brought so muchunderstanding to what I was
experiencing and what I wasfeeling, and I was like, oh my
God, more people need to knowabout this.
(09:14):
It's not something that I hadlearned, you know, in my 20s,
and it was something that reallywas so helpful for me to know.
So I'm going to dive into alittle bit about that right now
as well.
So something that I've talkedabout on the podcast previously
is the four trauma responsesfight, flight, freeze and fawn,
(09:34):
and with anxiety.
It is a signal that is, youknow, going throughout your
internal system, your nervoussystem, and it's kind of like an
alarm, and it's like the alarmis going off, but sometimes the
alarm isn't always necessary,and so it's not that the system
is broken.
It's not like, oh, my nervoussystem is broken.
(09:54):
It's like your nervous systemhas a pattern and a response
based on conditioning, previouslived experiences, the past, or
sometimes it's an appropriateresponse to something in your
environment that's dangerous.
So it's not always a bad orwrong thing and there's
definitely not anything that'sbroken.
And an example of this that Ialways find helpful is if you've
(10:17):
ever heard of mono, likemonoglucleocas or whatever it's
called.
It's like the kissing diseasethat you get when you're in like
high school or college.
When you get mono, it's yourwhole body is sending the fire
truck, it's sending theambulance, it's sending like all
everybody on site to put outthis fire.
(10:37):
Meanwhile there's actually nofire and that's why when you get
mono, you're so fatiguedbecause your body is fighting so
hard to put out this fire whenthere's actually no fire.
So that's kind of similarlywhat happens with anxiety.
It's like your body sends allthe troops, it sends the fire
truck, it sends the ambulance,it sends the police cars for
(11:01):
something that maybe actually inthe present moment isn't
actually a fire.
And so one resource that'sreally helpful for this is Dan
Siegel's work around a healthynervous system and he breaks it
down into the sympathetic whichis your fight, flight, freeze
(11:22):
and fawn, trauma responses.
And that's what happens whenyou're going to be regulating
some kind of threat, some kindof response in your nervous
system.
And then you have theparasympathetic, which is what
maintains your normal body'sfunction and is kind of like
homeostasis.
So when anxiousness or feelingsof anxiety occur, we have
(11:46):
activated our sympatheticnervous system into a state of
hyperarousal and this can looklike overwhelm, upset, ocd,
impulsivity, and when thishappens it means that your body
is experiencing too much, toosoon or too fast of whatever
might be occurring.
And then we have theparasympathetic nervous response
(12:07):
and that is what helps the bodyrelax and digest and that is
when you're not in the fight orflight or freeze or fawn
responses.
And that is when you're not inthe fight or flight or freeze or
fawn responses.
So that's why when peoplesuggest meditation or yoga or
breath work or spending time innature, it's because it's
activating your parasympatheticnervous system response, so it's
(12:29):
allowing your body to naturallyfind homeostasis, naturally
find a healthy nervous systemstate rather than a threat
response.
And another part of Dan Siegel'swork that really helps to
understand the nervous systemresponse, what's happening with
anxiety when you're feelinganxious is something I've also
(12:52):
referred to on the podcast quitea bit is called the window of
tolerance and so the window oftolerance.
It's really helpful and I canlink something in the show notes
if you have an image of whatthis looks like, but I'll try my
best to explain it.
It's basically when yournervous system has like an
optimal window that it wants tooperate in, and over time, if
(13:15):
you've struggled with anxiety,that window can be not as
expansive as you'd like it to be, and so when things are
happening, you're moving itthroughout your life, or
throughout your day.
You can move in and out of yourwindow of tolerance.
And so when you're feelingthose anxious moments or you're
feeling even angry or any kindof like bigger emotion in that
(13:39):
sense, you might move intowhat's called hyperarousal, and
that's something that I justspoke about a little bit before,
so that's like fight or flight.
You can also move intosomething that's called
hypoarousal, which is more oflike a sadness, or when you're
struggling with boundaries oryou might be being avoidant.
So there's different placesthat you can move throughout
(14:01):
your window of tolerance,depending on what is coming up
for you.
And so why we want to do thosepractices, to move into that
parasympathetic state wherewe're maintaining a place of
safety, is because we're wantingto stay within our window of
(14:22):
tolerance and also expand ourwindow of tolerance.
So doing those practices likemindfulness, grounding, breath
work, meditation, yoga, spendingtime in nature will allow you
to optimize your window oftolerance, expand it and then
eventually be able toself-soothe and self-regulate
(14:44):
your emotionality organicallyinside yourself, independently.
So it allows you the tools thatyou need to really metabolize a
signal like anxiety or asensation that you're receiving
around anxiety.
And so when we're working withanxiety, oftentimes we're
(15:05):
thinking that it's the enemy.
We're thinking we need to getrid of this.
This does not feel good, whichI totally understand, when I
think, actually, the new goal isokay.
What do we do with thisinformation?
If it's not really to eliminateanxiety or really any feeling,
it's to understand it,metabolize it and then create
(15:29):
through it, because on the otherside of anxiety is actually a
lot of compassion, curiosity,openness, safety, grounding,
possibility.
So it's not like anything isbroken or wrong.
It's a sign.
It's a signal, it's information, and when we respond from a
(15:51):
place of curiosity andcompassion, it changes the
conversation.
It changes how we're meetingourself and what's coming up for
us.
And if you start to play withthese shifts, these shifts in
perspective and how you'remeeting any anxious parts that
might be coming up.
It will allow you to understandyour body a bit better.
(16:13):
It will allow you to moveforward much faster and it will
allow you more compassion,rather than trying to outthink
your experience or be avoidantwith your experience.
And one practice that I wouldlove to leave you with of how
you can meet this anxious part,meet this emotion
(16:38):
compassionately is placing yourhand on your heart and taking a
deep inhale through your noseand a deep exhale through your
mouth and naming what is herefor me right now.
And naming what is here for meright now, can I meet what is
(17:09):
arising in my body as just that,something that is arising?
What if this part of me isscared?
Can I ask it?
(17:47):
What it might need frominvitation would be what if the
language that this part is usingis outdated?
What if this is from a previouslived experience?
But it's not who you are today.
It's old programming, it's notwho you are in this moment.
And so another analogy that Ialways like to use is if you
(18:08):
were driving in a minivan andyou have all your parts, you
know you have your anxious part,you have your heart.
Maybe you have your, your parts.
You know you have your anxiouspart, you have your, your heart.
Maybe you have your divinefeminine, your divine masculine.
Maybe you have the part of youthat's a perfectionist or, um,
it could be anything.
All your parts, they're all allin the minivan.
And, uh, who's driving the car?
(18:28):
Is it?
Are you driving the car?
Is your higher self, is it thatanxious part?
So I always like to say all theparts get to have a seat in the
car, they all get to ride inthe minivan, but maybe they're
sitting in the back seat.
Maybe it's like okay, you canhang out, but you don't get to
(18:49):
run the show, you don't get todrive today.
All right, so that's what Ihave for today's episode.
Thanks so much for tuning in.
This is the first week of thisseries for rewriting the story
of anxiety and I hope that youenjoyed today's episode.
So I hope you have anincredible rest of your day, an
incredible rest of your week,and I will talk to you soon.
(19:10):
Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode.
If you are moved or inspired,please share with me by leaving
a rating and review on ApplePodcasts.
It means the world to me and Iam so appreciative for your
support in helping my podcastgrow.
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
Instagram and TikTok and followme at raythesomaticcoach.
(19:32):
Make sure you check out theshow notes of today's episode
for links to freebies,opportunities to work with me
and ways we can stay connectedoutside of the podcast.
I'm so happy that you're hereand I can only eat to talk with
you on our next episode of theradiant life podcast.
Welcome to the Radiant Life Podcast.
I'm your host, rae, the SomaticCoach, and I'm here to support
you in healing your past, livingin the present and creating
your future so that you canbecome the most centered,
embodied and happiest version ofyourself.
Each week, I'll be bringing youepisodes to help you navigate
life's challenges, ease stressand tension and learn more about
(00:24):
holistic healing, spiritualityand wellness.
If you're interested inbecoming the best version of
yourself so that you can livethe life of your dreams, then
you're in the right place.
Subscribe to the podcast andthe monthly newsletter and
follow me on Instagram andTikTok to know when new episodes
are released each week.
I am so happy that you'velanded here.
(00:45):
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Rae.
I'm a somatic coach andbreathwork facilitator, and if
you aren't new here, welcomeback.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin for today's episode.
So two front desk items beforewe dive into today's topic.
(01:07):
The first is that the monthlynewsletter went out on April 1st
, which I believe is yesterdaywhen this episode will be
released, and the theme for thismonth's newsletter is around
anxiety and working with anxietyhealing anxiety and everything
anxiety, basically.
So that is what we'll be doingthis month on the podcast.
(01:30):
I'm going to be doing afour-part series all around the
different elements of anxietyand how we can work with this
emotion and so on, so forth.
So I'm excited to bring to youthis series and I hope that it
supports you.
The second front desk item isthat we do have a new name for
(01:50):
the podcast.
So the new name has landed.
Thank you if you voted on theInstagram poll that I had posted
last week and you participated.
Thank you so much.
So the new name is InnerRadiiance somatic breath and
soul, and it's going to take mea little bit of time to update
(02:11):
all the elements of the podcastand the branding and all that
stuff, but the name has landedat least.
So the reason for this changeis I really pour in so much of
my time and energy and heart andsoul into the podcast and I
really want people to be able tofind me organically.
(02:32):
So that looks like whensomebody you know comes on to
search for anything on ApplePodcasts or Spotify, they're not
finding my previous namebecause it's not very searchable
and I know on the outside itmight look like oh yeah, having
a podcast is easy.
Like every week, a new episodeshows up, but the process from
(02:58):
start to finish takes like a fewhours.
You know, I have to figure outwhat it is that I want to speak
about.
That might include taking somenotes or doing a little bit of
prep or planning, and othertimes it doesn't.
Sometimes I, you know, do it onthe fly and then I have to plan
.
So I need to, you know,schedule time, record the
(03:21):
episode and then, as I'mrecording the episode, sometimes
I do take breaks, so I'll takelike a long pause, which means
that I need to go back and editout those long pauses.
Then it's ready to upload andthen, after I upload it, you
need to put like, you need tocome up with a title, you need
(03:43):
to come up with a description.
So anyway, long story short, alot of my heart and soul is
pouring into the podcast and I'dreally love if more people
could find me.
So if you are one of those newpeople, welcome.
Maybe you found me throughsearch and maybe not, and either
way, I'm excited for thislittle change and for this
(04:04):
little rebrand and we'll seewhere it takes us.
So those are the front deskitems for today and let's dive
into our first topic of thismonth, which is around anxiety,
and it's that anxiety isn't theenemy and how we can rethink
what it might be trying tocommunicate to you.
(04:27):
So my personal story withanxiety is it's something that I
had struggled with for a verylong time, especially when I was
in really as young as middleschool, high school, definitely
in college and a bitpost-college as well.
So for a majority really of mylife, I'd say for the first 27,
(04:51):
28 years, I really, reallystruggled with anxiety, and it
was something that I kind ofjust always navigated myself.
It wasn't really until I wasaround 24, when my dad had
passed away unexpectedly and,although I had already been
struggling with anxiety, itbrought it from like something
(05:14):
that I was struggling with tosomething that was just really
unmanageable.
Um, and that is when I reallydove into okay, like clearly
what I'm doing isn't working,like what else, what there has
to be like another way, becauseI was feeling like this is just
the way that I'm going to be.
You know, like that's kind ofhow it felt like for me and yeah
(05:38):
, I mean I definitely run alittle hot sometimes that's what
I like to call it these days isyeah, it can be, definitely can
be anxious sometimes, but fromall of the work that I've
discovered for myself and all ofthe things that I bring into my
work with my clients, it isconversation to, yeah, reframe
it, because anxiety itself isreally intelligence.
(06:13):
It is bringing you some kind ofinformation, it is bringing you
insight, it is bringing you analert to let you become aware of
something, and it's not aquote-unquote problem.
It's not something that is likea problem or something that is
wrong with you.
It is a response to somethingthat's happening.
(06:35):
And I will say that one of thethings that I've learned
personally, and something thatI've been able to help my
clients with as well, islearning what the difference is
when you feel anxious versuswhat your intuition might be
saying.
So kind of like that differencebetween fear and intuition.
(06:58):
And is this like an intuitivehit that you're feeling or is
this your anxiety that might berunning the show and I can share
an example is something thatwas really coming up for me
previously in a lot of myrelationships was this anxious
part, and this anxious part keptcoming up and coming up, coming
up, and I remember one of thelast breakups that I went
(07:22):
through, um, I kind of had thismoment where I was like I felt
like I kept choosing the otherperson and I kind of had this
moment where I decided I wasn'tgoing to do that anymore and I
learned that this anxious partwas actually just kind of
seeking something from someoneelse rather than really feeling
(07:45):
and receiving something from memyself actually.
So this anxious part of myselfhad a need and, instead of
allowing myself to meet thatneed, I was trying to get that
to happen from somebody else andI didn't know this was
happening.
This was, you know, totallysubconscious.
So, although I was feelinganxious in some of my
(08:06):
relationships, I actually had aneed, the inside, like an inner
child need, that needed to bemet.
That I had no awareness aroundand it really dissipated my
anxiety significantly.
I mean, it was prettyincredible to actually feel the
shift in perspective and feelthe difference.
And that is how I became sopassionate about inner child
(08:30):
work, because the moment that Iexperienced it myself, I was
like, oh, this is prettypowerful stuff.
And another element of anxietythat was really oh, this is
pretty powerful stuff.
And another element of anxietythat was really really powerful
for me to understand and learnabout was what was happening in
the body and the nervoussystem's response when you're
feeling anxious.
So this was actually somethingthat I learned in like day two
(08:53):
or something like so in thebeginning of one of my somatic
coaching certifications, and Iremember learning this and being
like, oh my gosh, I wishsomeone had told me this,
because it brought so muchunderstanding to what I was
experiencing and what I wasfeeling, and I was like, oh my
God, more people need to knowabout this.
(09:14):
It's not something that I hadlearned, you know, in my 20s,
and it was something that reallywas so helpful for me to know.
So I'm going to dive into alittle bit about that right now
as well.
So something that I've talkedabout on the podcast previously
is the four trauma responsesfight, flight, freeze and fawn,
(09:34):
and with anxiety.
It is a signal that is, youknow, going throughout your
internal system, your nervoussystem, and it's kind of like an
alarm, and it's like the alarmis going off, but sometimes the
alarm isn't always necessary,and so it's not that the system
is broken.
It's not like, oh, my nervoussystem is broken.
(09:54):
It's like your nervous systemhas a pattern and a response
based on conditioning, previouslived experiences, the past, or
sometimes it's an appropriateresponse to something in your
environment that's dangerous.
So it's not always a bad orwrong thing and there's
definitely not anything that'sbroken.
And an example of this that Ialways find helpful is if you've
(10:17):
ever heard of mono, likemonoglucleocas or whatever it's
called.
It's like the kissing diseasethat you get when you're in like
high school or college.
When you get mono, it's yourwhole body is sending the fire
truck, it's sending theambulance, it's sending like all
everybody on site to put outthis fire.
(10:37):
Meanwhile there's actually nofire and that's why when you get
mono, you're so fatiguedbecause your body is fighting so
hard to put out this fire whenthere's actually no fire.
So that's kind of similarlywhat happens with anxiety.
It's like your body sends allthe troops, it sends the fire
truck, it sends the ambulance,it sends the police cars for
(11:01):
something that maybe actually inthe present moment isn't
actually a fire.
And so one resource that'sreally helpful for this is Dan
Siegel's work around a healthynervous system and he breaks it
down into the sympathetic whichis your fight, flight, freeze
(11:22):
and fawn, trauma responses.
And that's what happens whenyou're going to be regulating
some kind of threat, some kindof response in your nervous
system.
And then you have theparasympathetic, which is what
maintains your normal body'sfunction and is kind of like
homeostasis.
So when anxiousness or feelingsof anxiety occur, we have
(11:46):
activated our sympatheticnervous system into a state of
hyperarousal and this can looklike overwhelm, upset, ocd,
impulsivity, and when thishappens it means that your body
is experiencing too much, toosoon or too fast of whatever
might be occurring.
And then we have theparasympathetic nervous response
(12:07):
and that is what helps the bodyrelax and digest and that is
when you're not in the fight orflight or freeze or fawn
responses.
And that is when you're not inthe fight or flight or freeze or
fawn responses.
So that's why when peoplesuggest meditation or yoga or
breath work or spending time innature, it's because it's
activating your parasympatheticnervous system response, so it's
(12:29):
allowing your body to naturallyfind homeostasis, naturally
find a healthy nervous systemstate rather than a threat
response.
And another part of Dan Siegel'swork that really helps to
understand the nervous systemresponse, what's happening with
anxiety when you're feelinganxious is something I've also
(12:52):
referred to on the podcast quitea bit is called the window of
tolerance and so the window oftolerance.
It's really helpful and I canlink something in the show notes
if you have an image of whatthis looks like, but I'll try my
best to explain it.
It's basically when yournervous system has like an
optimal window that it wants tooperate in, and over time, if
(13:15):
you've struggled with anxiety,that window can be not as
expansive as you'd like it to be, and so when things are
happening, you're moving itthroughout your life, or
throughout your day.
You can move in and out of yourwindow of tolerance.
And so when you're feelingthose anxious moments or you're
feeling even angry or any kindof like bigger emotion in that
(13:39):
sense, you might move intowhat's called hyperarousal, and
that's something that I justspoke about a little bit before,
so that's like fight or flight.
You can also move intosomething that's called
hypoarousal, which is more oflike a sadness, or when you're
struggling with boundaries oryou might be being avoidant.
So there's different placesthat you can move throughout
(14:01):
your window of tolerance,depending on what is coming up
for you.
And so why we want to do thosepractices, to move into that
parasympathetic state wherewe're maintaining a place of
safety, is because we're wantingto stay within our window of
(14:22):
tolerance and also expand ourwindow of tolerance.
So doing those practices likemindfulness, grounding, breath
work, meditation, yoga, spendingtime in nature will allow you
to optimize your window oftolerance, expand it and then
eventually be able toself-soothe and self-regulate
(14:44):
your emotionality organicallyinside yourself, independently.
So it allows you the tools thatyou need to really metabolize a
signal like anxiety or asensation that you're receiving
around anxiety.
And so when we're working withanxiety, oftentimes we're
(15:05):
thinking that it's the enemy.
We're thinking we need to getrid of this.
This does not feel good, whichI totally understand, when I
think, actually, the new goal isokay.
What do we do with thisinformation?
If it's not really to eliminateanxiety or really any feeling,
it's to understand it,metabolize it and then create
(15:29):
through it, because on the otherside of anxiety is actually a
lot of compassion, curiosity,openness, safety, grounding,
possibility.
So it's not like anything isbroken or wrong.
It's a sign.
It's a signal, it's information, and when we respond from a
(15:51):
place of curiosity andcompassion, it changes the
conversation.
It changes how we're meetingourself and what's coming up for
us.
And if you start to play withthese shifts, these shifts in
perspective and how you'remeeting any anxious parts that
might be coming up.
It will allow you to understandyour body a bit better.
(16:13):
It will allow you to moveforward much faster and it will
allow you more compassion,rather than trying to outthink
your experience or be avoidantwith your experience.
And one practice that I wouldlove to leave you with of how
you can meet this anxious part,meet this emotion
(16:38):
compassionately is placing yourhand on your heart and taking a
deep inhale through your noseand a deep exhale through your
mouth and naming what is herefor me right now.
And naming what is here for meright now, can I meet what is
(17:09):
arising in my body as just that,something that is arising?
What if this part of me isscared?
Can I ask it?
(17:47):
What it might need frominvitation would be what if the
language that this part is usingis outdated?
What if this is from a previouslived experience?
But it's not who you are today.
It's old programming, it's notwho you are in this moment.
And so another analogy that Ialways like to use is if you
(18:08):
were driving in a minivan andyou have all your parts, you
know you have your anxious part,you have your heart.
Maybe you have your, your parts.
You know you have your anxiouspart, you have your, your heart.
Maybe you have your divinefeminine, your divine masculine.
Maybe you have the part of youthat's a perfectionist or, um,
it could be anything.
All your parts, they're all allin the minivan.
And, uh, who's driving the car?
(18:28):
Is it?
Are you driving the car?
Is your higher self, is it thatanxious part?
So I always like to say all theparts get to have a seat in the
car, they all get to ride inthe minivan, but maybe they're
sitting in the back seat.
Maybe it's like okay, you canhang out, but you don't get to
(18:49):
run the show, you don't get todrive today.
All right, so that's what Ihave for today's episode.
Thanks so much for tuning in.
This is the first week of thisseries for rewriting the story
of anxiety and I hope that youenjoyed today's episode.
So I hope you have anincredible rest of your day, an
incredible rest of your week,and I will talk to you soon.
(19:10):
Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode.
If you are moved or inspired,please share with me by leaving
a rating and review on ApplePodcasts.
It means the world to me and Iam so appreciative for your
support in helping my podcastgrow.
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
Instagram and TikTok and followme at raythesomaticcoach.
(19:32):
Make sure you check out theshow notes of today's episode
for links to freebies,opportunities to work with me
and ways we can stay connectedoutside of the podcast.
I'm so happy that you're hereand I can only eat to talk with
you on our next episode of theradiant life podcast.
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