(#73) Your Nervous System is Not Broken: Inner Child Healing for Anxiety and Inner Critic

If you’ve ever felt like something is “wrong” with you because of your anxiety, perfectionism, or emotional patterns—this episode is a loving reminder: you are not broken. You’re human. And your body, mind, and inner world are far more intelligent and adaptive than you may realize.

In this episode, we explore:
🌱 Inner critics and old identity roles (people-pleaser, perfectionist, caretaker) and how they shape your emotional landscape
🌱 Why you are not your anxiety—it’s a survival strategy, not a flaw
🌱 The power of inner child healing and emotional repatterning to shift your experience from the inside out
🌱 The emotional healing triad and how these parts work together in your nervous system
 🌱 Real client results and what’s possible when you repattern your emotional responses

Whether you’re managing everyday stress or navigating deeper emotional layers, this episode will help you understand how to alchemize anxiety into clarity and compassion, and why you’re more resilient than you’ve been led to believe.

“Your anxiety is not the enemy. It’s trying to help you and there’s another way forward.”

📩 Sign up for the monthly newsletter for more tools, updates, and somatic resources.

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Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Radiant Life Podcast.
I'm your host, rae, the SomaticCoach, and I'm here to support
you in healing your past, livingin the present and creating
your future so that you canbecome the most centered,
embodied and happiest version ofyourself.
Each week, I'll be bringing youepisodes to help you navigate
life's challenges, ease stressand tension and learn more about

(00:24):
holistic healing, spiritualityand wellness.
If you're interested inbecoming the best version of
yourself so that you can livethe life of your dreams, then
you're in the right place.
Subscribe to the podcast andthe monthly newsletter and
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are released each week.
I am so happy that you'velanded here.

(00:45):
Let's dive in.
Welcome back to the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Rae,I'm a somatic coach, I'm a
breathwork facilitator, and ifyou aren't new here, welcome
back.
I'm so glad that you're tuningin for today's episode.
So for today, we're going todive right in to our topic,

(01:06):
which is really working withthis all of the other parts that
may arise when it comes tonavigating anxiety, so things
like the inner critic, oldpatterning, emotional
repatterning, things like this,repatterning things like this,

(01:29):
and it's building off of how weended our last episode around
how your body knows exactly whatit needs to do and your breath
knows exactly what it needs todo too to alchemize, to
metabolize the experience ofanxiety.
And so often we can try andapproach anxiety from the mind.
We can start there and in thisapproach, we really want to work

(01:52):
with anxiety in the body firstand then move our way up and
into the mind.
So in my world, when it comesto anxiety and worry, it can
feel really challenging, but Ibelieve that there gets to be
another way.
I believe that emotionalsuffering is optional.

(02:13):
I believe that anxiety andemotional spirals don't need to
be the thing that's driving theshow.
The show and my belief is thatyour consciousness and your
gifts know exactly how toalchemize and work through
anxiety, and it's just a matterof discovering what those are

(02:35):
and discovering exactly how to,how to do that and the stories
that we receive through society.
Over time.
Growing up, everyone hasreceived something different
about anxiety specifically.
Maybe it was something in yourfamily that nobody talked about.
Maybe you had a parent that wasreally anxious and you're kind

(03:01):
of modeling their behavior.

(03:31):
No-transcript, remember and Itried to find it the celebrity
that I'm referring to, but therewas a celebrity who was on tour
.
He ended up having to likecancel the show and it was
because he was having some likemental health challenges, like

(03:51):
anxiety, and instead of themjust allowing him to cancel the
one show and just have the oneshow for himself and whatever he
needed to do, they go into itin the documentary and I can't
exactly remember it right now,but the media had a frenzy and
the media ran with it and everyheadline was like he's going to

(04:13):
an institution, he's you know,he's, he's gone off the deep end
, like things, like just totallyoutrageous things.
And he's in this documentarylike no, I just needed like a
night off.
Like he's like I was on tourand I was exhausted.
And he's in this documentarylike no, I just needed like a
night off.
Like he's like I was on tourand I was exhausted, and he's
like it was affecting my mentalhealth and I needed a night off.
And it wasn't this like hugething that they had made it into

(04:33):
.
And this happens all the timewith celebrities and more and
more you're seeing people thatare in the spotlight taking that
time for themselves to takecare of themselves, and it
doesn't always have to get tothat point.
But these are just someexamples of the stories that
we've received through societyover time and ultimately I

(04:55):
believe that you are not broken,that there is nothing wrong
with you.
Your nervous system isn'tbroken.
It's that you're actually verymentally sound and that you're
aware and you're noticing thatsomething is happening in your
experience, in your perspective,in your body, and it feels
uncomfortable and that'sactually really good awareness.

(05:19):
That's actually a really goodthing to have.
So, although it's uncomfortable, it doesn't mean that you're
broken.
It doesn't mean that anything'swrong, doesn't mean you need to
be fixed.
It's not.
It doesn't have that flavor.
I believe, and growing up, therecan be all of these early role
experiences that are kind of incollaboration with anxiety.

(05:42):
So you see it with peoplepleasing, you see it with the
good girl syndrome of let me puteverybody else before myself
because everybody else needs tobe happy so that I can be happy.
Yeah, that's going to causesome anxiety.
It's definitely going to causesome worry thoughts, some
anxious spirals, somecatastrophic thinking, because

(06:04):
you're really worried about howother people are receiving and
how other people's experience,but you're not checking in on
yourself and you're not thinkingabout what you might need.
You also see this withperfectionists.
So things need to be a certainway because that feels safe.
And if things aren't a certainway, or if you don't know all of

(06:25):
the things, then things feelunsafe and that also can cause
anxiety.
You can see it with thecaretaker role, so similar to a
little bit of a different flavor, but similar to people pleasing
.
The caretaker role is taking ona lot and potentially from a
very young age.
Maybe you were the one in thehouse that had to, yeah, take on

(06:49):
more than what was required as,like someone of your age at
that time.
And even as an adult, if you'rein a caretaker role, you can be
.
Maybe you're caretaking forolder relatives, your parents or
siblings, or maybe you have, oreven younger siblings, maybe
you have responsibilities that,yeah, are going to cause some

(07:13):
anxiety.
And all of these roles, whetherthey're from early childhood or
today as an adult, they can bein collaboration with anxiety,
and this is where inner childhealing and the emotional
repatterning comes into play.
So inner child healing is thisconcept that through the ages 0

(07:38):
through 14, you had these livedexperiences and they could be
anything.
They could be little, t, big, t, trauma.
But what happens is an eventhappens and you experience that
event, and then it getsinternalized and there's
something that's received fromthat experience and meaning is

(07:59):
created from it.
And then we carry this meaningthroughout our adult life and
lives.
And this is all subconscious.
So we don't know that this ishappening.
And then we have these beliefsand these inner children that
are kind of running the show.
They're kind of driving in thefront seat of the minivan.
Maybe you like to drive adifferent car, maybe it's like
an Escalade or something, whoknows?

(08:20):
Whatever your car of choice is,the inner child sometimes can
drive and we don't know that theinner child is driving.
And then we're like, oh my god,what is happening?
Like why does this feel the wayit feels?
And we end up in these spirals.
And the reason why inner childhealing works is because what

(08:41):
you're able to do is bringawareness to these old patterns
and old way of thinking and oldemotions and meet them today as
your loving adult self with moreawareness, with more capacity,

(09:02):
and you're able to one, releaseand meet the need of what that
inner child might need in thatmoment.
Maintain that connection.
So now you have awarenessaround it, now you can meet with
that inner child whenever youneed.
You're also able to rewrite anew narrative.
So now there is possibility,now there is creativity, there's
curiosity, there's compassion.
It opens up all these otherthings that may have not been

(09:22):
there previously.
And why I love this work and whyI think it's so important is
because so often we're walkingaround life looking for these
needs to be met again.
Subconsciously, we don't knowthat we're doing this, we're not
aware of it, and when we'reable to have that awareness and
meet those needs ourself,everything else just gets better
.
Everything else just becomeslike the cherry on top.

(09:44):
It's like nothing can reallysway you, nothing can really
affect you, because you have you, you have your own back, you
have your own awareness, youhave, you're grounded, you're
feeling whole and complete andalive.
And anything from that placefeeling whole, complete and
alive I mean like what could bebetter?

(10:05):
It's like, okay, great, like Ihave full access to life now,
because I feel like I've shedthose people-pleasing tendencies
or the perfectionist or thecaretaker or you know whatever
it might be for you, and there'sactually like a I could, I
should, probably, maybe I'llpause this and I'll read all the

(10:25):
, all the different.
There's so many differentoptions of like what those roles
might be for different people,and it's really interesting and
really cool to see, like, oh,that's a pattern that I have, or
that's a pattern that I had, orsomething like that.
Okay, I paused it and now I'mback and a few of the other

(10:46):
roles also known, as you know,coping strategies or protectors
is what I sometimes call themare these are things that are
that have a part like an innerchild need is underneath the
protector, trying to get a needmet, and so some of these
protectors could be the peoplepleaser, the dramatic one, the

(11:10):
manipulator, the avoider, thevictim, the controller, the
projector, the seducer, theaggressor, the addict, the
projector, the seducer, theaggressor, the addict, the hyper
aware, and there are so many ofthese and they could all be a
little bit different.
So for everyone they're alittle bit different, and what's

(11:32):
helpful is that there is a partlike an inner child part, a
need that is trying to be metthrough these protector, coping
strategies, defense mechanismparts.
So it's really interestingstuff.
I can go into it more inanother episode, actually,

(11:53):
because I I can see that this issomething that could be helpful
, uh, but Basically it's like atriangle, it's considered like a
triad.
You have that protector, whichis the coping strategy the
people pleaser we'll use as thisexample.
Then you have the part, whichis the inner child need.

(12:14):
This could be the worrier, theanxious one, the one that
doesn't feel worthy, doesn'tfeel safe, doesn't feel loved,
and then you have the emotionalneed.
So this is what that part islooking for.
So you have the protector, thepeople pleaser, the inner child
that feels anxious or is worriedor feels unsafe, and then you

(12:35):
have the emotional need, andthey might need safety, love,
comfort, validation,appreciation, belonging, purpose
, connection could be anything.
It depends on what your livedexperience is, but that is the
idea around the three parts.

(12:57):
So you have the inner child,the need and the protector.
And if this is making sense andthis is something that you want
to dive deeper into on your ownyou can always, you know, book
a session with me and then alsoyou can invitation to write a
letter or sit with the part ofyou that is anxious.
So that part of you, that thatinner child part of you that is

(13:18):
anxious, and from a place of youknow safety and compassion, you
can write this part of you aletter.
You can let them know thatthey're seeing, that you're with
them.
You know anything that theymight need to hear, whatever
that sounds like.
You can write them a letter asyour loving adult self today and

(13:39):
ultimately, what thisexperience will provide for you
is, hopefully, some insightaround that.
You are not your anxiety.
Your anxiety is a part of yourlived experience.
That might be in the van or inthe Escalade and we get to
decide if it's in the driver'sseat or somewhere else in the

(14:01):
car.
We get to have a conversationwith the part, we get to see
what it might need, we get toshow up for the part.
But ultimately, your anxiety isactually a very brilliant
survival strategy that youlearned from a past experience
to help you to feel safe, tohelp you to feel loved, to help
you to feel seen, whatever thatmight be, and it can be

(14:23):
rewritten.
It doesn't get to be the defaultsetting.
It doesn't have to be thedefault setting.
It was something that servedyou in a past lived experience
and there gets to be another wayand that is really exciting and
beautiful.
That means that they're on theother side of that.
Like.
Anything is possible and I'veshared in a previous episode

(14:45):
about the anxiety iceberg, whichis an experience that I also
had, was I understood, I learnedmore about my anxiety and then,
underneath my anxiety, Ilearned about all those parts,
all those other parts that werethat were there for me to kind
of explore and dive deeper with,and it was a really, really
great experience because, on theother side of it, you end up
feeling more whole, more whole,complete and alive, and that is

(15:09):
exactly what I do with myone-on-one clients, and it's
just pretty amazing.
And so that is what I have foryou for today's episode.
I'm so glad that you tuned in tolisten.
If you have any questions, yousend me a DM, send me an email.
I love hearing from you and,yeah, I hope you have an
incredible rest of your day, anincredible rest of your week,

(15:29):
and I will talk to you soon.
Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode.
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(15:50):
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