The Truth About Trans Lives In America

Trans lives are not a debate — they’re human lives. In this episode, we cut through the political noise and talk honestly about what it means to be trans in America right now: the fear, the resilience, the legislation, the misinformation, and the relentless humanity behind it all. From bathroom bills to book bans to targeted violence, we expose how manufactured outrage is used to control and dehumanize — and how allyship, visibility, and truth-telling push back. This isn’t about “sides.” It’s about survival, dignity, and justice.

About your host:
Sonia in Cyber is a multicultural feminist voice, creative entrepreneur, and unapologetic truth-teller. With roots in education, tech, and product marketing, she blends data with empathy, humor with heartbreak, to expose the cracks in America’s “normal.” Through her podcast Somebody Pinch Me, she gives voice to the disillusioned, the outspoken, the overlooked, and the quietly furious — proving that truth doesn’t just survive in chaos; it thrives in it. Her mission is simple: to use her voice to inspire others to keep fighting, resisting, and moving forward — no matter what.

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Episode Transcript

@soniaincyber (00:00):
You ever feel like the loudest people talking
about trans folks don't actuallyknow any?
You ever wonder why a groupthat makes up less than two to
three percent of the USpopulation gets treated like a
national threat?
Yeah, me too.
This is Somebody Pinch Me withSonia in Cyber.
And today, "Myths, Muscles, andMisinformation: The Truth About

(00:21):
Trans Lives in America".
This is one of those times wherethe myths are too loud and the
truth needs a bullhorn, and Iwill be that bullhorn today.
No matter where you stand onthis issue, I encourage you,
listen to this whole episode.
I promise you'll walk away withat least one or two things to
think about.
Let's start with the numbers.
In the US, about 0.5 to 1% ofadults identify as transgender.

(00:46):
Among youth age 13 to 17,around 1.4%.
Now, granted, there are thosefolks that do not publicly
self-identify, especially thosethat are under 18, and these
numbers are from recent years,so we could inflate or pad the
numbers just a tad more, buteven with the extras accounted
for, we're looking at just over2 million people in a country of

(01:09):
over 340 million people.
And yet they've been turnedinto political punching bags.
Bathroom bills, sports bans,military bans, book bans,
medical bans, the scale of thepanic doesn't match the reality.
The numbers, the real ones, notthe fear-fueled kind, don't

(01:31):
support or justify the transhate and fear-mongering that's
common in Trump America.
To put it in perspective, transpeople make up a tiny portion
of the U.S.
population.
And I mean teeny, tiny.
We're talking around less thanone half of a percent in most of
the country of over 340 millionpeople.
Literally, needles in ahaystack, tiny and beautiful

(01:56):
speckles.
And when you break that downacross all 50 states, that panic
starts to look even moreabsurd.
Let's run the math.
The average state populationright now is about 6.2 million,
one state.
And even if populations ortrans people were perfectly
spread out, which they're not,that would be about 56,000 trans

(02:17):
individuals per state.
But again, they're not evenlydistributed.
In fact, most trans people livein just a handful of states
like California, Georgia, NewMexico, Florida, Texas, and
Hawaii – states with larger,more diverse populations, and
not coincidentally more accessto affirming care and community.

(02:38):
Meanwhile, many of the statesmaking the most political
noise – the bans, the bathroombills, the sports restrictions,
have some of the lowest transpopulations in the country.
We're talking 0.3% or less oftheir entire state's population.
For example, the totaltransgender population in states

(02:59):
like North Dakota, Wyoming,Iowa, is even more tiny.

Here's the numbers (03:03):
North Dakota, less than 3,000, Iowa,
less than 10,000, Montana, lessthan 4,000, South Dakota, less
than 3,000, and Wyoming, lessthan 2,000.
When you compare that to stateslike California with over
200,000, Florida with around100,000, and even Hawaii with

(03:25):
over 50,000, you start to wonderwhat these other states are
talking about.
A crisis?
Really?
Yes, a manufactured crisis, nota real one.
And let's get even morespecific.
If you break down the totalpopulation of trans people in
America ages 13 and up more, theratio of adults to youth is

(03:47):
about 10 to 1.
If you spread those few teensout evenly across all states,
which again, they're not, that'dbe around 5,000 to 6,000 trans
youth per state if every statehad the same population and
ratios of trans to non-transpeople.
They don't.
And of those trans adults oryouth, only 36 to 39% are trans

(04:10):
women.
That means if trans women andgirls, all 430,000 or so
nationwide, were spread outevenly across all of these
states, they'd each have about22,000 trans women and girls.
But again, our population isn'tevenly distributed like that.
And the most debated or talkedabout, trans girls under 18,
especially those in competitivesports – that number dips to

(04:33):
less than 2,400 per state, ifthey were evenly spread and even
then, only a tiny fraction ofthat 2,400 would be competitive
athletes.
And by fraction, I literallymean a number you could count on
one hand in most states, if atall.
So when lawmakers and punditsscream about girls sports being

(04:55):
under attack, what they'rereally doing is weaponizing fear
against a literal handful ofchildren, many of whom aren't
even asking to compete.
Conservatives love to claimtrans girls are destroying
women's athletics, thatbiological males are dominating
every team, every trophy, thattrans women and girls are taking

(05:16):
away opportunities frombiologically born women and
girls.
Reality check?
The NCAA estimates fewer than100 trans athletes nationwide.
And when asked directly, NCAApresident Charlie Baker recently
said there are over 500,000college athletes in the country,
and he is aware of fewer than10 trans athletes.

(05:38):
And he said athletes, not justtrans girls or women.
Let that sink in.
Less than 10 out of over half amillion, which likely means
fewer than five trans women inthe entire NCAA, if we use the
same 36 to 39% ratio fromearlier.
And in high school, the numbersare even lower.

(05:58):
So when you see headlines abouttrans athletes taking over or
destroying women's sports, lies.
North Carolina banned transathletes from school sports.
At the time, only two transgirls were found to be
participating – two.
This isn't a trend, it's atarget.
And it's not about protectinggirls, it's about using them for
political gain and power.

(06:20):
And what's the immediate mosttroubling impact?
Trans girls get banned, but cisgirls get policed.
By cis girls, we're referringto any girls or women
biologically born as such.
In multiple states, cis girlshave been harassed,
investigated, or even forced toprove their gender for being too
fast, too tall, too strong, tooathletic.

(06:41):
We've seen girls accused ofbeing trans simply for
excelling, or for having broadshoulders or not wearing enough
makeup – so much for protectinggirls.
Next myth – bathrooms.
This fear campaign claims transpeople are a danger in public
restrooms, but the actual dangeris happening to trans people,

(07:02):
not by them.
Over 70% of trans people reportbeing harassed in public
restrooms, while 1 in 10 reportsome form of physical harm.
And often this occurs whenthey're forced to use restrooms
that they no longer seem to fitinto due to their physical
appearance.

And here's the kicker (07:17):
there is zero statistical evidence –
none.
Zip, zilch, zero – thattrans-inclusive bathroom
policies increase risk toothers, especially biologically
born women and girls.
In fact, organizations thatwork to stop violence against
women overwhelmingly supportinclusive restroom access

(07:39):
because they know predatorsdon't wait for permission.
This fear of men posing athreat to women or girls in
bathrooms is focusing on thewrong population because those
kinds of men are predators andthey don't need dresses or
gender-affirming care to causeharm.
They lurk in the shadows,pretend to be maintenance men or

(08:00):
cleaning crew, or just forcethemselves on someone.
And that will happen whethertrans people have inclusive
bathroom rights or not.
Fear of men and dresses is alsoa recycled panic.
These kinds of attacks onbathroom privileges and rights
aren't new.
Bathrooms were used to blockthe Equal Rights Amendment and
promote segregation.
Bathroom rights were used tocriminalize gay men, and

(08:22):
bathroom rights are now used totarget trans people and on an
even larger scale the entireLGBTQIA+ community.
And here's what no one wants toadmit.
Trans people have alwaysexisted.
You've already shared arestroom with them, likely many
times, and you, your family,your children were and are fine.

Let's be clear (08:42):
it's not about safety or fairness.
It's not about saving girls.
It's not about protecting ourgirls at all.
If it were about saving ourgirls, we'd be fighting child
marriage.
We'd make sure every girl hasaccess to proper health care.
We'd protect them from abuse orharassment rather than mocking

(09:03):
them when speaking out.
If it were about protectinggirls, especially when it comes
to competing, we'd be expandingDEI programs, not crushing them,
as DEI programs help level theplaying field, not just in
sports, but in scholarships,STEM fields, leadership
pipelines, and male-dominatedindustries where girls are still
told to smile more and waittheir turn.

(09:25):
And that's girls or women ofany color.
We'd be fighting for payequity, for Title IX
protections, for safe coachesand locker rooms.
We'd be investing inafter-school programs and not
trying to weaken Head Start.
This is all about distraction,about control, about turning
people into talking points andkids into scapegoats.
And for those of you who dareto say trans girls hinder your

(09:49):
daughters from opportunities ora fair chance, trans girls
aren't the ones blocking yourdaughter.
But corporations who still paywomen 77 cents on the dollar?
They are.
Corporations that still haveboardrooms with an all-male
leadership team or that consideradding one female a stretch or
them doing their part?
They are.

(10:09):
The policies gutting education,crushing reproductive rights
and access to qualityhealthcare, banning inclusive
curriculum and books, andfailing to implement more
responsible gun ownershipregulations that would prevent
or significantly lessen theunthinkable events we've seen
time and time again in schoolsor libraries or grocery stores
or homes?

(10:30):
They are.
If we, America, really caredabout girls' safety and success,
we'd be going after thecorporations selling them
starvation in a bottle andcalling it wellness.
We'd be regulating toxic beautyproducts that disrupt hormones,
cause infertility or worse,cancer, that bleach their skin
or push them into puberty panicbefore they even know their own

(10:50):
names.
We'd be holding the mediaaccountable for glorifying
thinness, perfection, andsexualization, not punishing
girls for being confident,athletic, or too much.
We'd be asking why abillion-dollar industry gets to
profit off their insecuritieswhile pretending it's about
empowerment.
We'd be regulating social mediaplatforms that profit from their

(11:12):
pain.
We'd be forcing companies totake down harmful content, not
just slap warnings on it.
We'd hold tech billionairesaccountable for building
algorithms that encourage eatingdisorders, self-harm, and the
use of hypersexualized filtersin their feeds before they even
hit puberty.
We'd be asking why 11-year-oldgirls know how to FaceTime or

(11:32):
use Cap Cut, but not how toadvocate for themselves or get
attention without using theirbody.
And probably the most criticalone of all, if we really cared
about protecting girls, we'dinvest heavily in our boys and
men, in real emotionaleducation, in mental health
care, in rehabilitation andre-entry programs for men who

(11:53):
never learn to cope with controlor emotions, how to feel
without violence, or how to leadwithout dominance.
We'd fund anger management,therapy, and other programs to
help boys drowning in shame,ego, rage, loneliness, or
silence.
Trans kids aren't the threat togirlhood.
But unchecked capitalism, sureis.

(12:14):
An abundance of toxicmasculinity, sure is.
A political machine thatbelieves guns should have more
rights than girls, sure is.
A system that turns girlhoodinto a market while looking the
other way when it breaks them,sure is.
The glass ceiling isn't held upby trans kids.
It's held up by peoplepretending they care about your

(12:34):
daughter's well-being whilerigging the whole damn system
even further.
And the distractions theypresent are working, because
most people don't hear thesenumbers or truths.
They don't even bother lookingfor them.
They just hear the noise, thefalse claims given to them, and
believe it.
But now you know better.
Let's switch gears and talkabout trans military service.

(12:55):
In 2016, the Pentagon liftedits ban on trans troops after a
year-long study focused on thepossible implications of doing
so.
The study provided no reasonfor the ban to continue and
thousands were allowed to serveopenly.
But in 2017, Trump reversedthat, by tweet.
And though Biden reinstated itwhen he came into office, Trump

(13:16):
issued another executive orderwhen coming into office in 2025
banning trans people fromserving again.
No study, no data, nojustification, just bigotry.
There are around 2 millionservice members currently, and
of those 2 million, 15,000 aretransgender service members.
Many have served honorably fora decade plus.

(13:38):
Some were close to retirement,and when they were banned, many
lost everything or will loseeverything.
No discipline record, nofailing scores, just gone.
Ask yourself, is that the wayany honorable United States
military service member shouldbe treated?
And if your daughter came outas trans at 13, would you want

(13:59):
her banned from the military forthis if she decided to join
after high school, or betteryet, not allowed to serve at
all, despite your entire familyhaving a military history and
you consider joining themilitary a family tradition or
rite of passage?
Or how about if she was barredfrom sports or afraid to pee at
school or in public places?

(14:19):
Trans youth aren't a threat.
They're at risk.
They're in danger.
More than half of trans andnon-binary youth have considered
suicide, not because of theiridentity, but because of the
world's reaction to it.
And you know what saves lives?
Gender-affirming care.
Care backed by every major U.S.
medical associationrepresenting over a million

(14:41):
doctors, care rooted in decadesof research, care that when
denied has deadly consequences.
Let's bust one last myth.
The idea that being trans isnew.
Try again.
Trans identities have beendocumented since back in 5000 to
3000 BC.
South Asia recognizes multiplegenders even now, eight, the

(15:04):
last time I checked.
So did pre-colonial Africa,indigenous North America, and
Polynesian cultures.
The only thing that's changed?
Who's allowed to be visible andrecognized – in America.
Now, is building a moreinclusive society comfortable
for everyone?
A smooth transition?
No hiccups, no tension, nodiscomfort or moments of

(15:27):
unfamiliar?
Absolutely not.
Growth never is.
It takes unlearning.
It takes exposure.
It takes choosing empathy overego again and again.
It takes listening when it'seasier to argue, and questioning
the stories we were handed,especially those wrapped in fear
or faith or nostalgia.

(15:48):
It means remembering what itfelt like to be the new kid, the
outsider, the one nobody madespace for.
It means choosing curiosityover cruelty and compassion over
control.
If you've been told trans peopleare the threat, you've been
lied to.
They are students, soldiers,siblings, teammates, friends.

(16:12):
They deserve the truth.
They deserve care.
And they deserve to livewithout being legislated out of
existence.
The world is shifting.
And we can either cling to oldmyths or meet the moment with
courage.
Not because it's easy, butbecause it's necessary and
right.
And if that feels hard, itshould.

(16:35):
That means you're growing.
This was "Myths, Muscles, andMisinformation: The Truth About
Trans Lives in America".
Feel like one episode wasn'tenough?
Good.
We're just getting started.