November 4, 2025 • 25 mins
Ever scroll past a tragedy only to feel your stomach drop — not from shock, but from recognition? In this episode, we confront this uncomfortable truth: the media and society don’t treat all victims equally. A notable person's death becomes a global emergency, while weekly violence against kids and marginalized communities barely makes the ticker.
Today, we highlight the selective outrage that defines our news cycle, examining how empathy bias influences our reactions and why silence can be a form of complicity. This isn’t just about headlines — it’s about who we’re told to mourn, and what that says about the value we place on different lives.
About your host:
Sonia in Cyber is a multicultural feminist voice, creative entrepreneur, and unapologetic truth-teller. With roots in education, tech, and product marketing, she blends data with empathy, humor with heartbreak, to expose the cracks in America’s “normal.” Through her podcast Somebody Pinch Me, she gives voice to the disillusioned, the outspoken, the overlooked, and the quietly furious — proving that truth doesn’t just survive in chaos; it thrives in it. Her mission is simple: to use her voice to inspire others to keep fighting, resisting, and moving forward — no matter what.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
@soniaincyber (00:00):
You ever see a headline and feel a sudden drop
in your stomach?
Not from shock, but from thecold familiarity of it all?
You ever watch the media fumblethrough coverage of two
tragedies, treating one like anational emergency and the other
like a footnote – telling uswho we're supposed to mourn?
Ever notice how when someonefamous gets shot, everyone zooms
(00:22):
in, but when kids are offedweekly or innocent black and
brown people are taken from us,most just scroll past in
silence?
Yeah, me too.
This is Somebody Pinch Me, andtoday's episode – tough,
necessary, and maybe evenuncomfortable, "When the Victim
Suddenly Looks Like You: Gunfire, Gaslighting, and (00:39):
undefined
American Empathy Bias." Becauseempathy in America has become a
coupon code, which only works onselect items and usually
expires when you need it most.
Let's talk about the two recentAmerican tragedies and what
they've exposed, once again,about America.
(01:00):
Both were acts of violence,both involved guns, both ended
lives or changed them forever.
Same week, same day, samecountry, and both preventable.
Yet, the way we've seen people,the media, and political groups
respond couldn't be moredifferent.
And those differences revealsome really ugly truths about
(01:24):
America.
Let's get into it.
These two sobering events shouldhave united us and helped us
have a long overdue conversationabout guns in America.
Instead, it ripped open ourpolitical fault lines even more
and brought another wave ofrelationships tested or broken
as people witnessed differingopinions and reactions come to
(01:46):
light.
The Evergreen High Schoolincident was almost completely
glossed over or buried beneaththe storm of Charlie Kirk's
injury and later passing.
Just another school shooting,just another disturbed young man
taking his issues out on othersafter being radicalized by
white supremacy and other formsof extremism.
The same white supremacy andextremism Charlie Kirk made
(02:11):
millions off of.
And yet, the Charlie Kirkcoverage acknowledged none of
this.
How his actions, rhetoric,behaviors, and message just
might have contributed to bothof these events.
His coverage immediately jumpedto finger pointing, political
conspiracies, long before factswere even clear.
Countless Republicans and Trumployalists, including Trump
(02:33):
himself, called for retributionand placed instant blame on the
radical left, "It's theliberals! It's BLM! It's
immigrants!" with ZERO evidence.
It was anyone but the man whoactually pulled the trigger.
And that's not just sloppy,it's dangerous.
The media wasn't doing its job.
It was doing someone's PR –theirs.
(02:56):
Those same people who, not even48 hours before, celebrated and
encouraged Trump's proud use ofthe "Department of War", as he
called it, and threats like"Chicago's about to find out why
it's called the Department ofWar".
The same people who offered nocondolences or empathy when
Representative Melissa Hortmanand her husband were brutally
(03:17):
murdered in their own home, orNancy Pelosi's husband was
attacked, or the countless,everyday black and brown
Americans that are brutalized,harassed, arrested, injured, and
executed, whether guilty ornot.
Treated as less than, includingon television or body cam
footage, denied the veryprotections our Constitution
(03:38):
extends to all within ourborders.
The same people who extendtheir humanity selectively and
even find ways to justify theworst acts against others that
don't look like, think like, orworship like them.
The same people who haven'tonce cared about the children
being slaughtered in other partsof the world, our American
(04:00):
classrooms, or the countlessfamilies being torn apart by
Trump's war on immigration.
Where has the outrage been forthat?
Why no crocodile tears then?
The same crowd of people whocall themselves pro-life can't
muster a drop of empathy forthem, but excuses, definitely,
(04:21):
"collateral damage", "it'scomplicated".
But Charlie Kirk, aconservative talking head, gets
shot?
A right wing darling?
Suddenly we're at DEF CON 1.
10 out of 10 dramatics with atwist of victimhood.
Suddenly, empathy is flowinglike a broken hydrant.
It's not that one life is worthmore than another, it's that
(04:44):
outrage has become a politicaltool, and apparently your value
depends on your voting record.
Let's take a moment to trulyremember Charlie Kirk.
He spent years as one of theloudest voices against empathy,
mocking empathy.
He went after DEI, women,teachers, immigrants, belittling
(05:05):
them, trashing them.
He said deaths were necessaryto protect the Second Amendment.
He sneered at children growingup without parents if those kids
happened to be immigrants.
He built his entire career andempire on dismissing other
people's pain.
And he started young, at 18,founding Turning Point USA to
(05:26):
explicitly push back againstwhat he saw as liberal dominance
across America's colleges anduniversities.
He was frustrated with seeingmostly liberal professors
dominating campus conversations.
Instead of leaning into sharedvalues, he zeroed in on what
divides – race, religion, andidentity.
(05:46):
While most kids at that age arejust figuring out how to do
laundry without shrinking theirjeans, he was already plotting
how to rebrand white grievanceas a youth movement, and it
worked.
He used misinformation likefuel and took traditional
religion, scripture, andrepurposed it as a call to arms.
He built a brand on "You'rebeing brainwashed!", "DEI is the
(06:10):
enemy!", "Western civilizationis supreme!", "You're under
threat!".
His organization became abreeding ground and recruiting
arm to pull youth further right.
And for those of you whoquestion his motives or whether
he was a white supremacist, Nazisympathizer, misogynist, bigot,
or any of those other terms youmay think other people are
(06:31):
using unfairly, consider this.
He continually pushed the greatreplacement rhetoric, the idea
that democracy and immigrationin modern America is aimed at
changing the racial demographicof America to dilute white
majorities.
He considered programs like DEIbeing anti-white and the Civil
(06:51):
Rights Act an anti-white weapon.
He claimed MLK was amythological anti-racist
creation of the 60s andincreasingly framed American
identity in Christian language.
And by doing so, he implied thewhole civil rights era was a
myth cooked up to take powerfrom white people.
He used Christian rhetoric tospread and validate ideas of
(07:14):
nationalism and identity.
He frequently used languagethat was consistent with
Christian Nationalist themes.
He propagated and continued tospread false electoral fraud
claims and used fear to grow theflames of intolerance.
He encouraged men to take backleadership and criticize gender
studies and feminism.
He constantly mocked women anddismissed LGBTQIA+ communities.
(07:40):
He sold young men the idea thatbeing a man means domination,
not partnership, that empathymakes you weak and cruelty makes
you strong.
And anyone that questions menis trying to emasculate America.
He tapped into the youngergeneration's sense of
alienation, change, uncertainty,identity crisis.
(08:01):
He offered clarity, a villainto blame, a community to belong
to, an urgency to act.
Turning Point was his Trojanhorse.
"We're just here for freespeech and small government", he
said, but behind the curtain,it was "Make America White
Again, one campus at a time".
He knew if you win over youngpeople, you don't just win an
(08:22):
election, you win the future.
And in recent years, hegalvanized and encouraged
MAGA-aligned youth to drivesupport for Trump.
His organization ran field opsin swing states, spread viral
clips, made conspiracy cool,fear fashionable, and outrage a
lifestyle brand.
Then came scripture.
(08:42):
Though no pastor, he figuredout that Christian Nationalism
sells.
He started framing America notjust as a nation, but as a
chosen nation.
The America we live in today,he helped build.
Where racism is repackaged aspatriotism and empathy is
selective, where cruelty iscelebrated and hate is dressed
(09:06):
up as holy.
Charlie Kirk helped move ourpolitical center among these
groups by extended exposure totopics that used to be
considered fringe.
In other words, he madeextremism more acceptable.
He mobilized young people byleaning into hate and
intolerance and drove anxietythrough the roof by positioning
(09:26):
DEI, multiculturalism, andimmigration as direct threats to
white identity.
He normalized "othering" andthe dehumanization of
non-traditional Americanidentities, including minorities
and immigrants, throughrhetoric like "They're replacing
us, taking our jobs, taking ourculture, making us irrelevant".
(09:47):
He weaved Christian Nationalisminto political identity and
used it to bring peopletogether.
He sold paranoia that whiteculture was under threat, that
America was slipping, that onlyby clinging to race and religion
could one survive.
And many bought it.
You know what else blew my mind?
How fast people jumped to callKirk's shooting so violent.
(10:10):
Yes, it was violent.
Guns are violent.
But the irony?
These same folks never bat aneye at the daily violence that
black and brown people live withjust existing in America.
Police stops that turn intoexecutions, families torn apart
at the border, women killed bypartners every single day, or by
(10:30):
being denied life-saving healthcare, queer and trans folks
targeted just for showing up,children and teachers having to
witness this exact kind ofviolence up close on a weekly
basis in America.
But apparently violence onlycounts when it knocks on the
right door, or the victimsuddenly looks like you.
(10:51):
In Gaza, whole neighborhoodswiped out, children pulled from
rubble.
That's violence on a scale thatmakes words crumble, and yet
silence, or worse, excuses.
You call it violence whenCharlie Kirk bleeds, but call it
defense when Gaza buriesbabies?
This is empathy bias at work –who we rush to humanize, who we
(11:14):
minimize, who we justify.
Kirk's shooting sparkspearl-clutching op-eds, but a
15-year-old black kid shot bycops wrongfully is just another
Tuesday.
The truth?
Violence is daily life formarginalized people, but America
saves its deepest sympathy forthe rare moments when violence
hits the privileged.
(11:35):
And that selective outrage,that's violence too.
The violence of erasure.
The violence of pretendingother people's lives aren't
worth the same tears.
And now that same privilegedcrowd that cheered Kirk on wants
the rest of us to fall to ourknees in sympathy?
Hypocrisy doesn't even coverit.
Delusion is more like it.
(11:56):
When your brand is otherpeople's pain, don't act shocked
when the universe takes notes.
He denied humanity to others.
No sympathy, no compassion, notears.
What makes a person like thisworthy of ours?
Meanwhile, the real story getsignored.
While we're all distracted bythe outrage theater, the real
(12:19):
problem stands in the cornerholding the murder weapon.
Guns.
Evergreen High, kids fallingvictim to gun violence.
Charlie Kirk, shot.
The common denominator?
Guns.
Our addiction to them.
Our refusal to regulate them.
Instead of asking why it's soeasy for people to arm
themselves and end lives, themedia spins conspiracy theories.
(12:42):
Who to blame becomes theheadline instead of how do we
stop this?
And the cycle continues.
We don't need more thoughts andprayers.
We don't need more blameshifting.
We need gun reform.
But saying that out loud inAmerica is like yelling bomb in
a crowded space.
Everyone freaks out.
And you know what's predictableat this point?
(13:02):
The scapegoating.
Every time without fail.
A white man in a red stateshoots another white man, and
somehow within minutes the rightis blaming brown and black
people, the left, DEI, BLM,immigrants, whatever they can
find to push their politicalagenda and hate forward.
It's like a reflex.
It's easier to blame outsidersthan to admit the truth.
(13:23):
Guns are the problem, andrhetoric that normalizes
violence makes people believeviolence is the answer.
Scapegoating is easier thanaccountability, easier than
admitting that violent rhetoric,like Charlie Kirk's and others
like him, radicalizes people.
So the blame instead getsshoved on whoever's politically
convenient for them.
(13:44):
Now we can't do this episodejustice without addressing
"that" argument.
You know the one.
"It's not the gun, it's theshooter!" Let's unpack that.
Yes, people pull the trigger,but what enables one angry,
unstable, or hateful person toslaughter 10 people in 10
seconds?
Spoiler (14:01):
it's not the sharpness of their kitchen knife.
If it's not the gun, then whydon't school shootings happen
with staplers?
Other countries have unstablepeople, angry people, mental
illness, violent video games,bad days, breakups, you name it.
But what they don't have isunfettered access to assault
(14:21):
rifles and handguns designed formaximum efficiency at ending
lives.
That's the difference.
Every country has angry men.
Only America outfits them likeCall of Duty characters.
Think about cars.
People crash cars all the time.
But we don't say it's not thecar, it's the driver, and just
leave it there.
(14:42):
We build seatbelts, airbags,speed limits, licensing,
insurance, DUI laws – because weknow human error happens and
regulation saves lives.
So why is it common sense forcars, but tyranny when it comes
to guns?
We regulate happy meals harderthan we regulate handguns in
(15:02):
America right now.
To be clear, the "shooter, notthe gun" line, is just an excuse
to do nothing.
It's a way to shrug offresponsibility and protect the
status quo.
And the status quo is kidsdoing lockdown drills while
politicians cash NRA checks.
At the end of the day, peoplekill people WITH GUNS.
And if we want fewer deaths,then maybe, just maybe, we
(15:25):
should make it harder to get thedeadliest tool in the toolbox.
Because pretending it's onlyabout the person and not the
weapon is like blaminghurricanes on umbrellas.
So where does this leave us?
Empathy bias on full display.
The media failing at its joband falling asleep at the wheel,
a country still worshippingguns more than human lives, and
a man who preached hate nowsuddenly being held up as a
(15:48):
martyr, treated like a militaryhero.
If you only care when it's yourpeople, your side, your
country, then it's not empathy.
We owe it to every victim, fromEvergreen to Gaza, to actually
care.
Not selectively, notpolitically, just care.
Otherwise, we're not savinganyone, we're just choosing
(16:08):
who's disposable.
And in this situation, thatcare may not be for Charlie Kirk
or his choices that helped leadus here, but rather the people
you claim to stand with insolidarity.
Let me explain.
We won't beat fascism by beingpolite.
I don't know about you, but Iknow for me, seeing a number of
people, both prominent and in mypersonal circles, react to this
(16:31):
situation so tamely wasinfuriating to say the least.
Like someone can spend theirwhole life tearing down
democracy, mocking women,demonizing immigrants, fueling
white nationalism and supremacy,and the minute something
happens to them, suddenlyDemocrats and supposed
anti-Trumpers and minority orqueer allies are bending over
backwards to prove how civil,how compassionate, how above it
(16:55):
all they are.
Whether realized or not, theybetray the very people they
swore to defend by doing so.
Crying over Charlie Kirk isn'tnoble.
It's dangerous.
Fake allyship breaks trust.
Being a bigger person doesn'tmean being a doormat in fascism.
Democrats love civility likeit's their own love language.
(17:16):
They'll bring a peace lily to agunfight.
They'll write a sternly wordedletter or social post while the
other side is setting the houseon fire.
And when Charlie Kirk was shot,we saw it again.
Leaders and friends rushing outto say thoughts and prayers.
"We must rise above, we mustshow grace." Grace?
For a man who spent his lifemocking us?
(17:37):
Civility isn't noble when itcomes at the expense of truth.
The truth shall set us free,remember?
Anything else in situationslike this is cowardice, yet
again, another missedopportunity.
It's like all these folkssuddenly developed selective
memory loss.
Overnight, Kirk was rebrandedfrom hate-spewing provocateur to
(17:58):
tragic victim of our times.
No, the man that spent his lifehanding out matches got burned.
And Democrats come runningalong with marshmallows.
And this isn't me being cold,it's me being honest, which
means we don't whitewash alegacy of hate because we're
afraid of looking mean.
Where it really stings (18:16):
when Democrats rush to humanize
someone like Kirk, they're notjust being nice.
They're sending a message toevery community he harmed.
To women, "Sorry, he demeanedyou, but we'll cry for him
anyway".
To immigrants, "Sorry he calledyou criminals, but we'll call
him a hero anyways".
To queer people, to teachers,to students under fire from gun
(18:39):
violence, "Sorry he mocked you,but we'll light a candle
anyway".
That's not allyship.
That's betrayal.
You can't say you're defendingvulnerable communities and then
fold the second their oppressoris in the news.
You can't mourn your enemylouder than you fight for your
people.
This obsession with civility,this fake allyship, it's not
(19:00):
harmless, it erodes trust.
It tells marginalized peoplethat when push comes to shove,
their defenders will alwaysprioritize looking polite,
over standing firm.
You can't outcivil fascism.
You have to actually fight itand call it out from people,
living and dead.
Every time Democrats fold likethis, they give fascism more
(19:21):
oxygen.
They let the narrative shift.
They make the oppressorsympathetic and the oppressed
invisible.
And we wonder why people arelosing faith in politics.
When they bend over so fast inthe name of civility or
forgiveness or the optics, it'snot just a misstep, it's a
betrayal of trust.
And we have to name it.
(19:42):
Some Democratic leaders,including those who often speak
for black or immigrantcommunities, issued statements
condemning the killing ofCharlie Kirk and calling for
reduced political hostility.
Statements that often omittedany mention of Kirk's harmful
record or legacy.
Yet when brown and black peoplefind themselves in the news, it
seems to be the only thinganyone ever focuses on – their
(20:03):
past, their record, their life.
Some people from black andbrown communities who are
political figures, influencers,or activists seemed to pivot
quickly to expressing sorrow,crying, focusing on the tragedy
of the loss, calling for peace,unity without demanding
accountability, withoutchallenging the systemic issues
that shape why people like Kirkexist or why his rhetoric was
(20:24):
dangerous.
For many who've experiencedoppression, for folks who live
with daily threats, racialprofiling, police violence,
immigrant bans, gender sexualorientation bullying, gun
violence, it doesn't feel safefor their voices to be erased in
favor of "We must healtogether!" or "We must show
grace!".
When the oppressor is mournedor honored without
acknowledgement of harm,communities see – we come
(20:46):
second.
One of the few that didn'tsoften it, Representative Omar,
and she got tons of pushbackbecause of it.
She made sure to remindeveryone of his lack of empathy
or concern for George Floyd anddisproval of Juneteenth as a
national holiday, rightfully,stating his kind of speech
shouldn't be allowed in thefirst place.
I agree.
Maybe this version of Americawouldn't exist then.
(21:08):
But many more blatantly refusedto critique him, even lifting
him up as someone who didimportant work for America.
This fast forgiveness, thiswillingness to forget, it's not
generosity, it's injury.
For communities that have beenhurt, witnessing supposed allies
drop accountability in favor ofoptics is another form of harm.
If we really want unity, if wereally want democracy, we have
(21:32):
to do more than just cry whensomeone we don't like gets hurt.
We need voices that refuse toflinch in naming wrongs, in
insisting on justice, inprotecting the vulnerable.
Because otherwise, what are wedoing?
Performance grief instead ofdoing the work.
And trust, real trust, comesfrom holding both grief and
(21:53):
truth, even when it's messy,even when it's uncomfortable.
So here's where we land.
When Democrats rush to showcivility to someone like Charlie
Kirk, they don't look noble,they look weak.
When supposed allies fold,soften, and forget the harm he
caused, they don't lookcompassionate, they look
untrustworthy.
And when America clutches itspearls over violence against a
(22:15):
man like Kirk but shrugs at thedaily violence faced by many
others, that's not morality,that's selective empathy dressed
up as virtue.
Real empathy doesn't pickfavorites, real allyship doesn't
fold when it getsuncomfortable, real courage
doesn't confuse civility withcomplicity.
Because every time we cry forthe powerful while ignoring the
(22:37):
oppressed, every time we honorthe oppressor while silencing
the oppressed, every time wetreat violence against some as
tragedy and violence againstothers as background noise, we
reinforce the very systems weclaim we want to dismantle.
Civility won't stop fascism,politeness won't protect the
vulnerable, selective empathywon't save lives, and fake
(22:59):
allyship won't build trust.
So maybe the question isn't,how do we show we're the bigger
person?
Maybe the real question is, whoare we willing to betray in
order to look like one?
We don't need civility thaterases harm.
We don't need allyship thatfolds at the first sign of
discomfort.
We need courage, the kind thattells the truth, even when it's
(23:22):
messy, even when it's NOTpolite.
Thanks for listening.
Until next time, stay woke,stay human, stay strong.
You ever see a headline and feel a sudden drop
in your stomach?
Not from shock, but from thecold familiarity of it all?
You ever watch the media fumblethrough coverage of two
tragedies, treating one like anational emergency and the other
like a footnote – telling uswho we're supposed to mourn?
Ever notice how when someonefamous gets shot, everyone zooms
(00:22):
in, but when kids are offedweekly or innocent black and
brown people are taken from us,most just scroll past in
silence?
Yeah, me too.
This is Somebody Pinch Me, andtoday's episode – tough,
necessary, and maybe evenuncomfortable, "When the Victim
Suddenly Looks Like You: Gunfire, Gaslighting, and (00:39):
undefined
American Empathy Bias." Becauseempathy in America has become a
coupon code, which only works onselect items and usually
expires when you need it most.
Let's talk about the two recentAmerican tragedies and what
they've exposed, once again,about America.
(01:00):
Both were acts of violence,both involved guns, both ended
lives or changed them forever.
Same week, same day, samecountry, and both preventable.
Yet, the way we've seen people,the media, and political groups
respond couldn't be moredifferent.
And those differences revealsome really ugly truths about
(01:24):
America.
Let's get into it.
These two sobering events shouldhave united us and helped us
have a long overdue conversationabout guns in America.
Instead, it ripped open ourpolitical fault lines even more
and brought another wave ofrelationships tested or broken
as people witnessed differingopinions and reactions come to
(01:46):
light.
The Evergreen High Schoolincident was almost completely
glossed over or buried beneaththe storm of Charlie Kirk's
injury and later passing.
Just another school shooting,just another disturbed young man
taking his issues out on othersafter being radicalized by
white supremacy and other formsof extremism.
The same white supremacy andextremism Charlie Kirk made
(02:11):
millions off of.
And yet, the Charlie Kirkcoverage acknowledged none of
this.
How his actions, rhetoric,behaviors, and message just
might have contributed to bothof these events.
His coverage immediately jumpedto finger pointing, political
conspiracies, long before factswere even clear.
Countless Republicans and Trumployalists, including Trump
(02:33):
himself, called for retributionand placed instant blame on the
radical left, "It's theliberals! It's BLM! It's
immigrants!" with ZERO evidence.
It was anyone but the man whoactually pulled the trigger.
And that's not just sloppy,it's dangerous.
The media wasn't doing its job.
It was doing someone's PR –theirs.
(02:56):
Those same people who, not even48 hours before, celebrated and
encouraged Trump's proud use ofthe "Department of War", as he
called it, and threats like"Chicago's about to find out why
it's called the Department ofWar".
The same people who offered nocondolences or empathy when
Representative Melissa Hortmanand her husband were brutally
(03:17):
murdered in their own home, orNancy Pelosi's husband was
attacked, or the countless,everyday black and brown
Americans that are brutalized,harassed, arrested, injured, and
executed, whether guilty ornot.
Treated as less than, includingon television or body cam
footage, denied the veryprotections our Constitution
(03:38):
extends to all within ourborders.
The same people who extendtheir humanity selectively and
even find ways to justify theworst acts against others that
don't look like, think like, orworship like them.
The same people who haven'tonce cared about the children
being slaughtered in other partsof the world, our American
(04:00):
classrooms, or the countlessfamilies being torn apart by
Trump's war on immigration.
Where has the outrage been forthat?
Why no crocodile tears then?
The same crowd of people whocall themselves pro-life can't
muster a drop of empathy forthem, but excuses, definitely,
(04:21):
"collateral damage", "it'scomplicated".
But Charlie Kirk, aconservative talking head, gets
shot?
A right wing darling?
Suddenly we're at DEF CON 1.
10 out of 10 dramatics with atwist of victimhood.
Suddenly, empathy is flowinglike a broken hydrant.
It's not that one life is worthmore than another, it's that
(04:44):
outrage has become a politicaltool, and apparently your value
depends on your voting record.
Let's take a moment to trulyremember Charlie Kirk.
He spent years as one of theloudest voices against empathy,
mocking empathy.
He went after DEI, women,teachers, immigrants, belittling
(05:05):
them, trashing them.
He said deaths were necessaryto protect the Second Amendment.
He sneered at children growingup without parents if those kids
happened to be immigrants.
He built his entire career andempire on dismissing other
people's pain.
And he started young, at 18,founding Turning Point USA to
(05:26):
explicitly push back againstwhat he saw as liberal dominance
across America's colleges anduniversities.
He was frustrated with seeingmostly liberal professors
dominating campus conversations.
Instead of leaning into sharedvalues, he zeroed in on what
divides – race, religion, andidentity.
(05:46):
While most kids at that age arejust figuring out how to do
laundry without shrinking theirjeans, he was already plotting
how to rebrand white grievanceas a youth movement, and it
worked.
He used misinformation likefuel and took traditional
religion, scripture, andrepurposed it as a call to arms.
He built a brand on "You'rebeing brainwashed!", "DEI is the
(06:10):
enemy!", "Western civilizationis supreme!", "You're under
threat!".
His organization became abreeding ground and recruiting
arm to pull youth further right.
And for those of you whoquestion his motives or whether
he was a white supremacist, Nazisympathizer, misogynist, bigot,
or any of those other terms youmay think other people are
(06:31):
using unfairly, consider this.
He continually pushed the greatreplacement rhetoric, the idea
that democracy and immigrationin modern America is aimed at
changing the racial demographicof America to dilute white
majorities.
He considered programs like DEIbeing anti-white and the Civil
(06:51):
Rights Act an anti-white weapon.
He claimed MLK was amythological anti-racist
creation of the 60s andincreasingly framed American
identity in Christian language.
And by doing so, he implied thewhole civil rights era was a
myth cooked up to take powerfrom white people.
He used Christian rhetoric tospread and validate ideas of
(07:14):
nationalism and identity.
He frequently used languagethat was consistent with
Christian Nationalist themes.
He propagated and continued tospread false electoral fraud
claims and used fear to grow theflames of intolerance.
He encouraged men to take backleadership and criticize gender
studies and feminism.
He constantly mocked women anddismissed LGBTQIA+ communities.
(07:40):
He sold young men the idea thatbeing a man means domination,
not partnership, that empathymakes you weak and cruelty makes
you strong.
And anyone that questions menis trying to emasculate America.
He tapped into the youngergeneration's sense of
alienation, change, uncertainty,identity crisis.
(08:01):
He offered clarity, a villainto blame, a community to belong
to, an urgency to act.
Turning Point was his Trojanhorse.
"We're just here for freespeech and small government", he
said, but behind the curtain,it was "Make America White
Again, one campus at a time".
He knew if you win over youngpeople, you don't just win an
(08:22):
election, you win the future.
And in recent years, hegalvanized and encouraged
MAGA-aligned youth to drivesupport for Trump.
His organization ran field opsin swing states, spread viral
clips, made conspiracy cool,fear fashionable, and outrage a
lifestyle brand.
Then came scripture.
(08:42):
Though no pastor, he figuredout that Christian Nationalism
sells.
He started framing America notjust as a nation, but as a
chosen nation.
The America we live in today,he helped build.
Where racism is repackaged aspatriotism and empathy is
selective, where cruelty iscelebrated and hate is dressed
(09:06):
up as holy.
Charlie Kirk helped move ourpolitical center among these
groups by extended exposure totopics that used to be
considered fringe.
In other words, he madeextremism more acceptable.
He mobilized young people byleaning into hate and
intolerance and drove anxietythrough the roof by positioning
(09:26):
DEI, multiculturalism, andimmigration as direct threats to
white identity.
He normalized "othering" andthe dehumanization of
non-traditional Americanidentities, including minorities
and immigrants, throughrhetoric like "They're replacing
us, taking our jobs, taking ourculture, making us irrelevant".
(09:47):
He weaved Christian Nationalisminto political identity and
used it to bring peopletogether.
He sold paranoia that whiteculture was under threat, that
America was slipping, that onlyby clinging to race and religion
could one survive.
And many bought it.
You know what else blew my mind?
How fast people jumped to callKirk's shooting so violent.
(10:10):
Yes, it was violent.
Guns are violent.
But the irony?
These same folks never bat aneye at the daily violence that
black and brown people live withjust existing in America.
Police stops that turn intoexecutions, families torn apart
at the border, women killed bypartners every single day, or by
(10:30):
being denied life-saving healthcare, queer and trans folks
targeted just for showing up,children and teachers having to
witness this exact kind ofviolence up close on a weekly
basis in America.
But apparently violence onlycounts when it knocks on the
right door, or the victimsuddenly looks like you.
(10:51):
In Gaza, whole neighborhoodswiped out, children pulled from
rubble.
That's violence on a scale thatmakes words crumble, and yet
silence, or worse, excuses.
You call it violence whenCharlie Kirk bleeds, but call it
defense when Gaza buriesbabies?
This is empathy bias at work –who we rush to humanize, who we
(11:14):
minimize, who we justify.
Kirk's shooting sparkspearl-clutching op-eds, but a
15-year-old black kid shot bycops wrongfully is just another
Tuesday.
The truth?
Violence is daily life formarginalized people, but America
saves its deepest sympathy forthe rare moments when violence
hits the privileged.
(11:35):
And that selective outrage,that's violence too.
The violence of erasure.
The violence of pretendingother people's lives aren't
worth the same tears.
And now that same privilegedcrowd that cheered Kirk on wants
the rest of us to fall to ourknees in sympathy?
Hypocrisy doesn't even coverit.
Delusion is more like it.
(11:56):
When your brand is otherpeople's pain, don't act shocked
when the universe takes notes.
He denied humanity to others.
No sympathy, no compassion, notears.
What makes a person like thisworthy of ours?
Meanwhile, the real story getsignored.
While we're all distracted bythe outrage theater, the real
(12:19):
problem stands in the cornerholding the murder weapon.
Guns.
Evergreen High, kids fallingvictim to gun violence.
Charlie Kirk, shot.
The common denominator?
Guns.
Our addiction to them.
Our refusal to regulate them.
Instead of asking why it's soeasy for people to arm
themselves and end lives, themedia spins conspiracy theories.
(12:42):
Who to blame becomes theheadline instead of how do we
stop this?
And the cycle continues.
We don't need more thoughts andprayers.
We don't need more blameshifting.
We need gun reform.
But saying that out loud inAmerica is like yelling bomb in
a crowded space.
Everyone freaks out.
And you know what's predictableat this point?
(13:02):
The scapegoating.
Every time without fail.
A white man in a red stateshoots another white man, and
somehow within minutes the rightis blaming brown and black
people, the left, DEI, BLM,immigrants, whatever they can
find to push their politicalagenda and hate forward.
It's like a reflex.
It's easier to blame outsidersthan to admit the truth.
(13:23):
Guns are the problem, andrhetoric that normalizes
violence makes people believeviolence is the answer.
Scapegoating is easier thanaccountability, easier than
admitting that violent rhetoric,like Charlie Kirk's and others
like him, radicalizes people.
So the blame instead getsshoved on whoever's politically
convenient for them.
(13:44):
Now we can't do this episodejustice without addressing
"that" argument.
You know the one.
"It's not the gun, it's theshooter!" Let's unpack that.
Yes, people pull the trigger,but what enables one angry,
unstable, or hateful person toslaughter 10 people in 10
seconds?
Spoiler (14:01):
it's not the sharpness of their kitchen knife.
If it's not the gun, then whydon't school shootings happen
with staplers?
Other countries have unstablepeople, angry people, mental
illness, violent video games,bad days, breakups, you name it.
But what they don't have isunfettered access to assault
(14:21):
rifles and handguns designed formaximum efficiency at ending
lives.
That's the difference.
Every country has angry men.
Only America outfits them likeCall of Duty characters.
Think about cars.
People crash cars all the time.
But we don't say it's not thecar, it's the driver, and just
leave it there.
(14:42):
We build seatbelts, airbags,speed limits, licensing,
insurance, DUI laws – because weknow human error happens and
regulation saves lives.
So why is it common sense forcars, but tyranny when it comes
to guns?
We regulate happy meals harderthan we regulate handguns in
(15:02):
America right now.
To be clear, the "shooter, notthe gun" line, is just an excuse
to do nothing.
It's a way to shrug offresponsibility and protect the
status quo.
And the status quo is kidsdoing lockdown drills while
politicians cash NRA checks.
At the end of the day, peoplekill people WITH GUNS.
And if we want fewer deaths,then maybe, just maybe, we
(15:25):
should make it harder to get thedeadliest tool in the toolbox.
Because pretending it's onlyabout the person and not the
weapon is like blaminghurricanes on umbrellas.
So where does this leave us?
Empathy bias on full display.
The media failing at its joband falling asleep at the wheel,
a country still worshippingguns more than human lives, and
a man who preached hate nowsuddenly being held up as a
(15:48):
martyr, treated like a militaryhero.
If you only care when it's yourpeople, your side, your
country, then it's not empathy.
We owe it to every victim, fromEvergreen to Gaza, to actually
care.
Not selectively, notpolitically, just care.
Otherwise, we're not savinganyone, we're just choosing
(16:08):
who's disposable.
And in this situation, thatcare may not be for Charlie Kirk
or his choices that helped leadus here, but rather the people
you claim to stand with insolidarity.
Let me explain.
We won't beat fascism by beingpolite.
I don't know about you, but Iknow for me, seeing a number of
people, both prominent and in mypersonal circles, react to this
(16:31):
situation so tamely wasinfuriating to say the least.
Like someone can spend theirwhole life tearing down
democracy, mocking women,demonizing immigrants, fueling
white nationalism and supremacy,and the minute something
happens to them, suddenlyDemocrats and supposed
anti-Trumpers and minority orqueer allies are bending over
backwards to prove how civil,how compassionate, how above it
(16:55):
all they are.
Whether realized or not, theybetray the very people they
swore to defend by doing so.
Crying over Charlie Kirk isn'tnoble.
It's dangerous.
Fake allyship breaks trust.
Being a bigger person doesn'tmean being a doormat in fascism.
Democrats love civility likeit's their own love language.
(17:16):
They'll bring a peace lily to agunfight.
They'll write a sternly wordedletter or social post while the
other side is setting the houseon fire.
And when Charlie Kirk was shot,we saw it again.
Leaders and friends rushing outto say thoughts and prayers.
"We must rise above, we mustshow grace." Grace?
For a man who spent his lifemocking us?
(17:37):
Civility isn't noble when itcomes at the expense of truth.
The truth shall set us free,remember?
Anything else in situationslike this is cowardice, yet
again, another missedopportunity.
It's like all these folkssuddenly developed selective
memory loss.
Overnight, Kirk was rebrandedfrom hate-spewing provocateur to
(17:58):
tragic victim of our times.
No, the man that spent his lifehanding out matches got burned.
And Democrats come runningalong with marshmallows.
And this isn't me being cold,it's me being honest, which
means we don't whitewash alegacy of hate because we're
afraid of looking mean.
Where it really stings (18:16):
when Democrats rush to humanize
someone like Kirk, they're notjust being nice.
They're sending a message toevery community he harmed.
To women, "Sorry, he demeanedyou, but we'll cry for him
anyway".
To immigrants, "Sorry he calledyou criminals, but we'll call
him a hero anyways".
To queer people, to teachers,to students under fire from gun
(18:39):
violence, "Sorry he mocked you,but we'll light a candle
anyway".
That's not allyship.
That's betrayal.
You can't say you're defendingvulnerable communities and then
fold the second their oppressoris in the news.
You can't mourn your enemylouder than you fight for your
people.
This obsession with civility,this fake allyship, it's not
(19:00):
harmless, it erodes trust.
It tells marginalized peoplethat when push comes to shove,
their defenders will alwaysprioritize looking polite,
over standing firm.
You can't outcivil fascism.
You have to actually fight itand call it out from people,
living and dead.
Every time Democrats fold likethis, they give fascism more
(19:21):
oxygen.
They let the narrative shift.
They make the oppressorsympathetic and the oppressed
invisible.
And we wonder why people arelosing faith in politics.
When they bend over so fast inthe name of civility or
forgiveness or the optics, it'snot just a misstep, it's a
betrayal of trust.
And we have to name it.
(19:42):
Some Democratic leaders,including those who often speak
for black or immigrantcommunities, issued statements
condemning the killing ofCharlie Kirk and calling for
reduced political hostility.
Statements that often omittedany mention of Kirk's harmful
record or legacy.
Yet when brown and black peoplefind themselves in the news, it
seems to be the only thinganyone ever focuses on – their
(20:03):
past, their record, their life.
Some people from black andbrown communities who are
political figures, influencers,or activists seemed to pivot
quickly to expressing sorrow,crying, focusing on the tragedy
of the loss, calling for peace,unity without demanding
accountability, withoutchallenging the systemic issues
that shape why people like Kirkexist or why his rhetoric was
(20:24):
dangerous.
For many who've experiencedoppression, for folks who live
with daily threats, racialprofiling, police violence,
immigrant bans, gender sexualorientation bullying, gun
violence, it doesn't feel safefor their voices to be erased in
favor of "We must healtogether!" or "We must show
grace!".
When the oppressor is mournedor honored without
acknowledgement of harm,communities see – we come
(20:46):
second.
One of the few that didn'tsoften it, Representative Omar,
and she got tons of pushbackbecause of it.
She made sure to remindeveryone of his lack of empathy
or concern for George Floyd anddisproval of Juneteenth as a
national holiday, rightfully,stating his kind of speech
shouldn't be allowed in thefirst place.
I agree.
Maybe this version of Americawouldn't exist then.
(21:08):
But many more blatantly refusedto critique him, even lifting
him up as someone who didimportant work for America.
This fast forgiveness, thiswillingness to forget, it's not
generosity, it's injury.
For communities that have beenhurt, witnessing supposed allies
drop accountability in favor ofoptics is another form of harm.
If we really want unity, if wereally want democracy, we have
(21:32):
to do more than just cry whensomeone we don't like gets hurt.
We need voices that refuse toflinch in naming wrongs, in
insisting on justice, inprotecting the vulnerable.
Because otherwise, what are wedoing?
Performance grief instead ofdoing the work.
And trust, real trust, comesfrom holding both grief and
(21:53):
truth, even when it's messy,even when it's uncomfortable.
So here's where we land.
When Democrats rush to showcivility to someone like Charlie
Kirk, they don't look noble,they look weak.
When supposed allies fold,soften, and forget the harm he
caused, they don't lookcompassionate, they look
untrustworthy.
And when America clutches itspearls over violence against a
(22:15):
man like Kirk but shrugs at thedaily violence faced by many
others, that's not morality,that's selective empathy dressed
up as virtue.
Real empathy doesn't pickfavorites, real allyship doesn't
fold when it getsuncomfortable, real courage
doesn't confuse civility withcomplicity.
Because every time we cry forthe powerful while ignoring the
(22:37):
oppressed, every time we honorthe oppressor while silencing
the oppressed, every time wetreat violence against some as
tragedy and violence againstothers as background noise, we
reinforce the very systems weclaim we want to dismantle.
Civility won't stop fascism,politeness won't protect the
vulnerable, selective empathywon't save lives, and fake
(22:59):
allyship won't build trust.
So maybe the question isn't,how do we show we're the bigger
person?
Maybe the real question is, whoare we willing to betray in
order to look like one?
We don't need civility thaterases harm.
We don't need allyship thatfolds at the first sign of
discomfort.
We need courage, the kind thattells the truth, even when it's
(23:22):
messy, even when it's NOTpolite.
Thanks for listening.
Until next time, stay woke,stay human, stay strong.
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