May 7, 2025 • 18 mins
Ever feel like you’ve outgrown the pain but it still haunts you?
In this unexpected (and totally unfiltered) breakdown of Marvel’s Thunderbolts, I explore how this action-packed antihero movie became a mirror for real-life healing. From scenes that had me sobbing in my seat to powerful metaphors about shame, shadow work, and inner child healing — this episode shows how even fictional superheroes can teach us something about our very real wounds. And trust me, the emotional insights are just as powerful as the explosions.
You might want to listen if:
- You’ve moved on from your past… but it still weighs on you in quiet moments
- You carry shame around things you did (or didn’t do) that you’ve never fully processed
- You relate more to the “antihero” than the polished version of healing everyone else seems to have
- You want to protect the little girl inside you the way no one else did
- You crave community but feel like you're too messy to be fully seen
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- Apply for FREE Coaching with Jenn
- Join the DANCE CIRCLE - Get updates on Jenn's debut book "Dance of Attachment"
- Join our FREE Community! Speak Honest Facebook Group 🧡
- Become a Relationship Reboot Member and access all you need to become secure.
- Schedule your Free 30 min Attachment Assessment with Jenn Today!
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- Visit www.speak-honest.com to learn more
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- Like the episode? Please write a review, your words help others find us!
DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health ...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jenn Noble (00:05):
Hello and welcome to Speak Honest.
I am your host and certifiedrelationship coach, Jennifer
Noble.
It has been my passion for overa decade to help women like you
heal what's been holding youback from having the
relationships you deserve.
Are you struggling with arelationship where you can't
seem to voice your emotions,needs and boundaries without
(00:26):
having it blow up in your face?
Then you have found the rightpodcast, my friend.
Get ready for practical tips,empowering truths and honest
conversations.
Now let's dive in.
Hello everyone and welcome backto another episode of Speak
Honest.
I am Jenn Noble, your go-torelationship coach, and on
today's episode I want toactually do something a little
(00:47):
bit different.
So just this weekend I went togo see the new Marvel movie
Thunderbolts with my husband andas I'm sitting there watching
the movie, I am just overcomewith joy and excitement and just
so many thoughts in my mindabout oh my gosh, this movie is
just built for mental health.
The storyline was so fantasticand all of the tiny little
(01:11):
nuances just made me want tocome on here and talk about it.
So I'm not going to spoilanything yet, but this is your
warning that as the episode getsgoing, I will be spoiling the
new Marvel movie Thunderbolt.
So please, if you haven't seenit yet, go ahead and just stop
this podcast today.
Save it for later.
Come back after you've seen themovie.
I highly recommend going to gosee the movie and then come back
here, listen to this episodeand then jump into the Facebook
(01:34):
group and let me know what youthink, if you had the same
thoughts I did when you werewatching it.
And something about this moviethat really hit home for me was
how important community andpeople and togetherness truly is
.
And if you are looking for acommunity of women, then this is
the perfect time to come andjoin our free Facebook community
.
You could just go on Facebookif you want to and look for it.
It is called Speak, honest,secure Attachment and Confident
(01:57):
Communication for Women.
You can also scroll on down tothe show notes.
There is a link right there foryou to just go ahead and click
on.
You can find me on Instagram orFacebook and ask me hey, jen,
can you send me the link?
Whatever it is, the goal hereis to get you connected with
other women who are in similarsituations as you, so you can
see that you are not alone, soyou can see that you have a
(02:18):
community behind you, helpingyou heal.
And, in fact, right now, we aredoing an amazing challenge for
the month of May.
It's called the Speak HonestMay Mindfulness Challenge and
for 31 days, we are spendingfive minutes every day going
through a mindful meditation.
I walk you through themeditations live on Facebook
(02:38):
every single day and it is theperfect time to get plugged in.
And as we get to talking aboutthe new Marvel movie, you're
going to see why it's even moreimportant to have a community.
So, with all of that said, Ihope that you enjoy my kind of
review of the Marvel movie.
But again, this is your warningthat once I get started talking
about the movie, that you willbe spoiled.
(02:59):
So please shut it off right nowand come back when you get a
chance to.
All right, now let's get onwith the episode.
All right, everyone, I am soexcited to get to talk about the
new Marvel's movie,thunderbolts, and I wasn't
expecting much going into thismovie.
To be honest, I go and see allthe Marvel movies with my
(03:20):
husband.
He really likes them.
I'm kind of hit or miss, Idon't know.
We went to go see this onerecently and Harrison Ford was
in it and it was dumb.
It was the dumbest movie I'dever seen.
I won't spoil that one at all,in case you haven't seen it.
Not that there's anything tospoil, but I remember I think I
went to the bathroom like threetimes in that movie.
I couldn't be bothered to sitthrough, and that's what some of
the Marvel movies are like.
(03:40):
And so I was like, okay, fine,I'll go see Thunderbolts.
It looks cute, it looks funny.
I do like a good ragtag group.
If you don't know anythingabout the Thunderbolts movie, I
mean, hopefully you do becauseyou went and saw it and that's
why you're listening to this.
But you know, it's just about agroup of ragtag antiheroes,
basically right, it's like thepeople in the Marvel universe
that are kind of bad, but theywrong side of the track, so to
(04:03):
speak.
And I feel like this is reallyreminiscent to a lot of us,
which is, you know, there's notsomething inherently wrong with
us, we are not villains, we arenot evil, but we had some really
shitty stuff happen to us inour lives and so, as a result,
we don't do and say and act theway that we want to be acting
all the time, and it's probablywhy I always kind of have a
heart for these anti-hero movies, but in the beginning it was
(04:27):
pretty normal, it was prettytypical.
You know, we're getting to knowall the people.
There's funny parts.
I love the Red Guardian.
He just he cracks me up so much.
The Red Guardian is so perfectand the relationship he has with
his daughter, Yelena, which isjust so beautiful, and I really
love seeing that dynamic of likewell, no, dad, you haven't
contacted me in a year, so whydo you think that I would even
care right now?
And a lot of that, I think,will speak to a lot of us.
I thought that was good, butwhat I really want to talk about
(04:48):
is just this overarching themeof shame and community.
If you watched this movie andyou saw the same thing I saw,
could you please just jump intothe Facebook group and go into
the post that I put up for eachepisode and just like, let's
(05:08):
talk about it in there, becauseI feel like I need to talk to
someone about this.
And it was stunning.
I was sobbing y'all, like I wasactually sobbing during this
movie because there was thisparticular scene where she's
having to go through all thesedifferent shame rooms in order
to work through stuff and shehad to watch the very first
memory she has, the very firstshameful thing she ever did,
which was her first test.
So if you don't know, like,right, yelena was a black widow,
which means she had to learnbasically how to become an
(05:30):
assassin as a child, as like anine-year-old which is
ridiculous, by the way, girl andshe's looking for her and then
this guy comes around and heshoots her right, you know, it's
marvel stuff, so it is what itis.
But in this she has to likerelive this moment again and
again.
And it shames her because thisis her first test and this is
(05:53):
the first time, honestly, shekilled someone who's innocent
and this is the biggest shamethat she's holding on to.
And the interesting part ofthis movie was having to kind of
sit with that.
Even when she tried to, tochange it, even when she tried
to do something else, itwouldn't let her Like the
memories, wouldn't let herchange the situation.
She had to sit and processthrough the shame in order to
(06:14):
kind of move through to the nextone.
And there was another sceneright after that where she's
putting together her guns.
There's a row of nine-year-oldsat a table and they're all
putting their guns together.
She's the first one to do itand after she finishes putting
her gun together, the mistressor the lady who runs the program
starts to whip the otherchildren.
Thankfully, we don't seeanything.
Marvel does a good job of notactually showing too much, which
(06:36):
I'm grateful for, because Ican't handle too much like that.
But this part made me sob.
If you remember this part atall when you're watching the
movie, she takes her hands andputs them over her little girl's
ears and like stands in frontof her face so she can't see it,
and I just was like, oh,whoever wrote the scene has
absolutely done inner child workright Like this is what I think
(06:57):
about when I think abouthelping my inner child.
The things that she saw, thethings that she had to deal with
as a child she should havenever had to.
Becoming an assassin at the ageof nine, no.
But also the shit that mylittle girl went through is not
okay, and sometimes I want tojust be that adult that wasn't
there at the time and I justwant to wrap her up in my arms,
(07:19):
hold her ears, protect her fromeverything and just take her out
of that, and that's why thatscene alone was just really
powerful.
And then from there she goesinto the next scene, which is
her kind of adult self, sittingon the bathroom floor drinking
her bottle of vodka, passed out,and she's just looking at
herself.
And again there's just shame.
Because why did she get to thislevel?
(07:41):
You know, she got out of theBlack Widow, she's doing her own
thing now.
So why is she still so sad?
Like how many of us relate withthat?
Oh, why is she still so sad?
Like how many of us relate withthat?
Oh, I got out of the badmarriage, I got out of the bad
relationship, I did all thethings and still I'm just
depressed, I'm sad all the time.
I can't get myself out of this.
And that's the interesting partwas the shame that holds us back
from who we really are.
And it wasn't just about shame,and that's the next part I want
(08:04):
to talk about.
It talks about community.
So there she is and she'spassed out, drunk on the
bathroom floor and she tries todo something about it.
But that side of her, thatolder self, the drunk one, gets
up and basically kicks her assright and again it's to show us
you can't change the past.
You have to live through it,you have to process it, you have
to see it, you have to own it.
How many times have I talked inthe program or in the support
(08:24):
sessions?
It's like we just have toreally honor the things that we
feel inside of our bodies.
We have to honor our shame,even those little cringe moments
.
A couple episodes ago I did theone about spring cleaning.
You know, marie Kondo-ing thosecringe moments.
Those cringe moments are stilljust shame.
They're just lighter shame.
They're not as heavy of shameas some of us have, but those
(08:50):
big, heavy pieces of shame thatwe hide inside of our hearts, oh
, they hold us down.
And what I really thought waspowerful in this movie was what
is the consequence of shame?
The consequence of shame isthat we then keep ourselves away
from others.
Okay, so, not only does Yelenahave this big, massive kind of
revelation throughout the movie,but then we have the adorable
(09:10):
character Bob.
Bob is great, also, just againon a writing aspect.
Great name for this character.
It's so funny to me because,you know, bob is just such a
common name, such a normal name,and this Bob, he basically
turns out to be the big villain,but not quite the villain.
You know also an antihero whogets sucked into this ragtag
group and we see that hestruggled a lot and he was
(09:34):
addicted to meth.
He was roaming around I thinkit was like was it Southeast
Asia or something and uncertainof what he wants to do with his
life, and somebody came in andwas like, hey, you know, I have
this new medical procedure Icould give you.
And I mean, how many of us havetried, thing after thing after
thing I don't even blame him fortrying something, because his
life is just meaningless to him.
(09:55):
And he says like, what's thepoint?
That's something I've grappledwith for so long in my life.
What's the point?
What is the point of all this?
Sometimes, in those big heavymoments in my life, even today,
I'll still struggle with thatthought process of what's the
point.
And throughout the movie theykind of show you what the point
is.
And the point is togethernessand the point is community.
(10:18):
The point is having people withyou.
I mean, as a human species, ourone big amazing thing that we
have is one another.
Is this community, is this kindof connection between each
other?
And I just feel like the moreand more that we are developing
and expanding as a society, weare losing that connection, and
(10:38):
I don't think that that'snecessarily a problem, like I
have no problem with theinternet, I have no problem with
our phones, you know, I think,like everything, we will figure
it out in the end.
But it's important also to seethis just epidemic of loneliness
that is happening.
And if you know anything aboutme, you know that I believe that
the fundamental aspect of ourhumanity are happy and
fulfilling relationships, notloneliness, not devastation in
(11:02):
that area of our life, buttogetherness.
And so in this movie, in theThunderbolts movie, which again
just such a funny, funny movie,I loved it.
If you loved it too, please letme know.
But in this movie there is ascene so we get to know Bob a
little bit more.
He turns into this big goldengod.
He becomes I think he's calledthe Century.
Again, forgive me if, likeyou're, a massive Marvel fan I
(11:23):
am not, so I don't really knowwhat I'm talking about.
I'm just kind of sharing withyou my lived experience of how
it felt.
And so, bob the century, hestarts becoming this bigger than
life character, like basically,as he is told by Julia Louise
Dreyfus's character I think hername is Valentina, who is the
actual villain.
Right, valentina is the actualvillain and she said like you
(11:46):
are more powerful than gods, youknow you are, you are so
powerful, you are so amazing.
And she talks him up and he'sable to kind of fill this up.
Except what happens?
What happens when he startsactually believing in himself
and seeing this?
Well then this void comes out.
Or, as I totally saw this inthe moment, was his shadow.
(12:07):
So if you are familiar with anyof Carl Jung's work, with the
Jungian psychology, I love it todeath.
But it's about your shadow,those parts of you that you want
to hide, those parts of youthat you don't want anyone to
see.
And what is that?
It's shame, isn't it?
And as Carl Jung speaks aboutin his work, true integration is
(12:27):
when we are able to take thatshadow part and the golden parts
and bring them together andreally live in both sides and
see we are all of these parts ofourselves.
And so throughout this movie wehave this void.
And now this void is coming andhe's sucking up all these
people and he's putting thepeople into their worst memories
that they have.
And it's interesting because,again, the memories they have
are about shame, not necessarilyabout, like, just the bad
(12:53):
things that happened to them,because even when we see Bob's
memory of his dad abusing hismother in the memory, it's not
just oh, here's a bad thing thathappened to my mother and
here's what I had to witness inthe memory.
He is trying to stop it andinstead of his mother saying
thank you or maybe even beingable to take him out of that
(13:14):
situation, she says to him whydo you always do this?
You make things worse.
I pictured that attachmentwound already forming in his
brain.
You make things worse.
You make things worse.
Listen to that limited belief.
Why do you always do this?
You make things worse.
That's how we get those limitedbeliefs, those attachment
wounds, stuck inside of ourneurons and they carry on with
(13:35):
us.
And again, marvel is a fictionalmovie and it's all this stuff
going on.
And at the same time, there's alot of us that had that kind of
trauma in our lives and havebeen told that stuff.
Even when we tried to fight,even when we tried to push back,
even when we tried to makethings better, we were told that
we were too much, or we weretold that we were getting in the
way, you know.
(13:55):
And so that, what did thatteach us?
That taught us to stay small,to get out of the way, to not do
anything big and powerful inour lives.
And that happened to bob.
And so, as a result, he's, he'slonely, he doesn't feel like he
can trust anyone.
He's wandering around life andnow he finds this group, the,
the Thunderbolts, and Yelenakind of takes a liking to him
(14:16):
and they start connecting andall this stuff is happening.
And then, at the end, his shadowself, the void, is again kind
of taking over everything andsucking everyone into his shadow
.
And Bob runs over to him and hestarts punching him and he's
like I could do this, I couldtake care of this.
And he starts punching the void, punching a shadow, and I
(14:36):
remember sitting there watchingthis and I was like, oh well,
they did such a good job withthis movie until this one part.
This one part really doesn'tsit well with me, because you
shouldn't punch yourself, youshouldn't beat yourself up.
That's not going to work.
And then, like most things, Ishould have just waited.
I see, as he's punching hisshadow self, as he's punching
the void, he's starting to getsucked up into it.
How powerful is that I mean,come on it like totally shows us
(15:03):
that beating ourselves up forour past doesn't help at all and
it sucks us into the void aswell.
It sucks us into the shadowparts, into that bad self.
And Yelena notices this rightand she says wait, no, this is
making things worse, you can'tbe doing this.
And so for this whole time shecouldn't get out of this thing.
That's holding her down.
Something's holding her down, Ican't remember right now, but
because she wants to go and helpBob, she manages to find the
(15:27):
strength to get out of herrestraints to go and hold him
and help him through it and say,no, this isn't the way and
haven't we felt that way withother people before where we
don't have the strength forourselves but we do have the
strengths for other people.
And that's what a community does.
We talk about this so much inthe reboot program with my
(15:47):
ladies, where I say if you can'thold a positive and empowering
belief for yourself, then let ushold it for you right now.
And we go around and as acommunity we all tell that woman
how amazing she is, how greatshe is, how fantastic she is,
and maybe she can't believe itright then and there, but we
will hold space for her untilshe can.
And that's exactly what startedhappening.
(16:08):
So first Yelena gets out of herrestraints and then her dad
gets out of his restraints.
And so first Yelena gets out ofher restraints and then her dad
gets out of his restraints andthen everyone else starts
getting out.
Because when one person makes achange, it's powerful what it
does to the rest of the people.
And next thing, you know,they're all going around and
they're surrounding Bob andthey're hugging him and they're
holding him and they're tellinghim this isn't the way.
And it was through that, it wasthrough that love, it was
(16:30):
through that togetherness thathis shame actually released.
And then they came out of it.
I don't know, they just woundup on the street again or
something like that, I forget,but that part was just so
powerful and I want to thatwrote.
This has absolutely beenthrough some deep healing work,
because you don't write aboutthis kind of shit without
(16:59):
knowing what you're talkingabout.
And they did such a beautifuljob with this.
So, yeah, that's my thoughtsabout the thunderbolts movie.
Again, I just thought washilarious.
Even past the mental healthwork, it's probably one of the
best movies I have seen in along time, definitely one of the
best marvel movies that I'veever seen and I highly recommend
going to check it out.
But again, hopefully you'vealready seen it if you're
listening to this.
All right, everyone, thank youso much for coming along on this
(17:25):
ride with me and listening tomy kind of half-brain thoughts
about this movie.
Again, if you want to talkabout the movie, jump into the
Facebook group and let me knowthere about this movie Again.
If you want to talk about themovie, jump into the Facebook
group and let me know.
There's usually a post I put upevery week about the podcast
episode, and that's where we goin and we chat about.
Hey, Jenn, you know I have aquestion about this, or I
noticed you said this in thepodcast.
Can you elaborate?
That's what it's there for.
And again, join in, get joinedin with this community, be with
(17:49):
other women who want to helplift you up, and then you come
in and you help lift them up aswell, and that's what this is
all about.
That's what life is about, aswe saw in the Marvel movie, and
I cannot wait to speak with youall next week.
Take care.
As we wrap up today'sconversation.
Always remember that healing isa journey, not a destination,
(18:13):
and it is an honor to be a partof your healing journey.
If you want to dig deeper intothe topics we covered today, be
sure to head over to our shownotes, where you can find all of
the valuable informationmentioned in today's episode
right there, and please rememberto rate, review and subscribe
if you enjoyed today's podcast.
Your feedback means the worldto us and helps others discover
(18:35):
our podcast.
Until next time, remember tospeak up and speak honest.
Hello and welcome to Speak Honest.
I am your host and certifiedrelationship coach, Jennifer
Noble.
It has been my passion for overa decade to help women like you
heal what's been holding youback from having the
relationships you deserve.
Are you struggling with arelationship where you can't
seem to voice your emotions,needs and boundaries without
(00:26):
having it blow up in your face?
Then you have found the rightpodcast, my friend.
Get ready for practical tips,empowering truths and honest
conversations.
Now let's dive in.
Hello everyone and welcome backto another episode of Speak
Honest.
I am Jenn Noble, your go-torelationship coach, and on
today's episode I want toactually do something a little
(00:47):
bit different.
So just this weekend I went togo see the new Marvel movie
Thunderbolts with my husband andas I'm sitting there watching
the movie, I am just overcomewith joy and excitement and just
so many thoughts in my mindabout oh my gosh, this movie is
just built for mental health.
The storyline was so fantasticand all of the tiny little
(01:11):
nuances just made me want tocome on here and talk about it.
So I'm not going to spoilanything yet, but this is your
warning that as the episode getsgoing, I will be spoiling the
new Marvel movie Thunderbolt.
So please, if you haven't seenit yet, go ahead and just stop
this podcast today.
Save it for later.
Come back after you've seen themovie.
I highly recommend going to gosee the movie and then come back
here, listen to this episodeand then jump into the Facebook
(01:34):
group and let me know what youthink, if you had the same
thoughts I did when you werewatching it.
And something about this moviethat really hit home for me was
how important community andpeople and togetherness truly is
.
And if you are looking for acommunity of women, then this is
the perfect time to come andjoin our free Facebook community
.
You could just go on Facebookif you want to and look for it.
It is called Speak, honest,secure Attachment and Confident
(01:57):
Communication for Women.
You can also scroll on down tothe show notes.
There is a link right there foryou to just go ahead and click
on.
You can find me on Instagram orFacebook and ask me hey, jen,
can you send me the link?
Whatever it is, the goal hereis to get you connected with
other women who are in similarsituations as you, so you can
see that you are not alone, soyou can see that you have a
(02:18):
community behind you, helpingyou heal.
And, in fact, right now, we aredoing an amazing challenge for
the month of May.
It's called the Speak HonestMay Mindfulness Challenge and
for 31 days, we are spendingfive minutes every day going
through a mindful meditation.
I walk you through themeditations live on Facebook
(02:38):
every single day and it is theperfect time to get plugged in.
And as we get to talking aboutthe new Marvel movie, you're
going to see why it's even moreimportant to have a community.
So, with all of that said, Ihope that you enjoy my kind of
review of the Marvel movie.
But again, this is your warningthat once I get started talking
about the movie, that you willbe spoiled.
(02:59):
So please shut it off right nowand come back when you get a
chance to.
All right, now let's get onwith the episode.
All right, everyone, I am soexcited to get to talk about the
new Marvel's movie,thunderbolts, and I wasn't
expecting much going into thismovie.
To be honest, I go and see allthe Marvel movies with my
(03:20):
husband.
He really likes them.
I'm kind of hit or miss, Idon't know.
We went to go see this onerecently and Harrison Ford was
in it and it was dumb.
It was the dumbest movie I'dever seen.
I won't spoil that one at all,in case you haven't seen it.
Not that there's anything tospoil, but I remember I think I
went to the bathroom like threetimes in that movie.
I couldn't be bothered to sitthrough, and that's what some of
the Marvel movies are like.
(03:40):
And so I was like, okay, fine,I'll go see Thunderbolts.
It looks cute, it looks funny.
I do like a good ragtag group.
If you don't know anythingabout the Thunderbolts movie, I
mean, hopefully you do becauseyou went and saw it and that's
why you're listening to this.
But you know, it's just about agroup of ragtag antiheroes,
basically right, it's like thepeople in the Marvel universe
that are kind of bad, but theywrong side of the track, so to
(04:03):
speak.
And I feel like this is reallyreminiscent to a lot of us,
which is, you know, there's notsomething inherently wrong with
us, we are not villains, we arenot evil, but we had some really
shitty stuff happen to us inour lives and so, as a result,
we don't do and say and act theway that we want to be acting
all the time, and it's probablywhy I always kind of have a
heart for these anti-hero movies, but in the beginning it was
(04:27):
pretty normal, it was prettytypical.
You know, we're getting to knowall the people.
There's funny parts.
I love the Red Guardian.
He just he cracks me up so much.
The Red Guardian is so perfectand the relationship he has with
his daughter, Yelena, which isjust so beautiful, and I really
love seeing that dynamic of likewell, no, dad, you haven't
contacted me in a year, so whydo you think that I would even
care right now?
And a lot of that, I think,will speak to a lot of us.
I thought that was good, butwhat I really want to talk about
(04:48):
is just this overarching themeof shame and community.
If you watched this movie andyou saw the same thing I saw,
could you please just jump intothe Facebook group and go into
the post that I put up for eachepisode and just like, let's
(05:08):
talk about it in there, becauseI feel like I need to talk to
someone about this.
And it was stunning.
I was sobbing y'all, like I wasactually sobbing during this
movie because there was thisparticular scene where she's
having to go through all thesedifferent shame rooms in order
to work through stuff and shehad to watch the very first
memory she has, the very firstshameful thing she ever did,
which was her first test.
So if you don't know, like,right, yelena was a black widow,
which means she had to learnbasically how to become an
(05:30):
assassin as a child, as like anine-year-old which is
ridiculous, by the way, girl andshe's looking for her and then
this guy comes around and heshoots her right, you know, it's
marvel stuff, so it is what itis.
But in this she has to likerelive this moment again and
again.
And it shames her because thisis her first test and this is
(05:53):
the first time, honestly, shekilled someone who's innocent
and this is the biggest shamethat she's holding on to.
And the interesting part ofthis movie was having to kind of
sit with that.
Even when she tried to, tochange it, even when she tried
to do something else, itwouldn't let her Like the
memories, wouldn't let herchange the situation.
She had to sit and processthrough the shame in order to
(06:14):
kind of move through to the nextone.
And there was another sceneright after that where she's
putting together her guns.
There's a row of nine-year-oldsat a table and they're all
putting their guns together.
She's the first one to do itand after she finishes putting
her gun together, the mistressor the lady who runs the program
starts to whip the otherchildren.
Thankfully, we don't seeanything.
Marvel does a good job of notactually showing too much, which
(06:36):
I'm grateful for, because Ican't handle too much like that.
But this part made me sob.
If you remember this part atall when you're watching the
movie, she takes her hands andputs them over her little girl's
ears and like stands in frontof her face so she can't see it,
and I just was like, oh,whoever wrote the scene has
absolutely done inner child workright Like this is what I think
(06:57):
about when I think abouthelping my inner child.
The things that she saw, thethings that she had to deal with
as a child she should havenever had to.
Becoming an assassin at the ageof nine, no.
But also the shit that mylittle girl went through is not
okay, and sometimes I want tojust be that adult that wasn't
there at the time and I justwant to wrap her up in my arms,
(07:19):
hold her ears, protect her fromeverything and just take her out
of that, and that's why thatscene alone was just really
powerful.
And then from there she goesinto the next scene, which is
her kind of adult self, sittingon the bathroom floor drinking
her bottle of vodka, passed out,and she's just looking at
herself.
And again there's just shame.
Because why did she get to thislevel?
(07:41):
You know, she got out of theBlack Widow, she's doing her own
thing now.
So why is she still so sad?
Like how many of us relate withthat?
Oh, why is she still so sad?
Like how many of us relate withthat?
Oh, I got out of the badmarriage, I got out of the bad
relationship, I did all thethings and still I'm just
depressed, I'm sad all the time.
I can't get myself out of this.
And that's the interesting partwas the shame that holds us back
from who we really are.
And it wasn't just about shame,and that's the next part I want
(08:04):
to talk about.
It talks about community.
So there she is and she'spassed out, drunk on the
bathroom floor and she tries todo something about it.
But that side of her, thatolder self, the drunk one, gets
up and basically kicks her assright and again it's to show us
you can't change the past.
You have to live through it,you have to process it, you have
to see it, you have to own it.
How many times have I talked inthe program or in the support
(08:24):
sessions?
It's like we just have toreally honor the things that we
feel inside of our bodies.
We have to honor our shame,even those little cringe moments
.
A couple episodes ago I did theone about spring cleaning.
You know, marie Kondo-ing thosecringe moments.
Those cringe moments are stilljust shame.
They're just lighter shame.
They're not as heavy of shameas some of us have, but those
(08:50):
big, heavy pieces of shame thatwe hide inside of our hearts, oh
, they hold us down.
And what I really thought waspowerful in this movie was what
is the consequence of shame?
The consequence of shame isthat we then keep ourselves away
from others.
Okay, so, not only does Yelenahave this big, massive kind of
revelation throughout the movie,but then we have the adorable
(09:10):
character Bob.
Bob is great, also, just againon a writing aspect.
Great name for this character.
It's so funny to me because,you know, bob is just such a
common name, such a normal name,and this Bob, he basically
turns out to be the big villain,but not quite the villain.
You know also an antihero whogets sucked into this ragtag
group and we see that hestruggled a lot and he was
(09:34):
addicted to meth.
He was roaming around I thinkit was like was it Southeast
Asia or something and uncertainof what he wants to do with his
life, and somebody came in andwas like, hey, you know, I have
this new medical procedure Icould give you.
And I mean, how many of us havetried, thing after thing after
thing I don't even blame him fortrying something, because his
life is just meaningless to him.
(09:55):
And he says like, what's thepoint?
That's something I've grappledwith for so long in my life.
What's the point?
What is the point of all this?
Sometimes, in those big heavymoments in my life, even today,
I'll still struggle with thatthought process of what's the
point.
And throughout the movie theykind of show you what the point
is.
And the point is togethernessand the point is community.
(10:18):
The point is having people withyou.
I mean, as a human species, ourone big amazing thing that we
have is one another.
Is this community, is this kindof connection between each
other?
And I just feel like the moreand more that we are developing
and expanding as a society, weare losing that connection, and
(10:38):
I don't think that that'snecessarily a problem, like I
have no problem with theinternet, I have no problem with
our phones, you know, I think,like everything, we will figure
it out in the end.
But it's important also to seethis just epidemic of loneliness
that is happening.
And if you know anything aboutme, you know that I believe that
the fundamental aspect of ourhumanity are happy and
fulfilling relationships, notloneliness, not devastation in
(11:02):
that area of our life, buttogetherness.
And so in this movie, in theThunderbolts movie, which again
just such a funny, funny movie,I loved it.
If you loved it too, please letme know.
But in this movie there is ascene so we get to know Bob a
little bit more.
He turns into this big goldengod.
He becomes I think he's calledthe Century.
Again, forgive me if, likeyou're, a massive Marvel fan I
(11:23):
am not, so I don't really knowwhat I'm talking about.
I'm just kind of sharing withyou my lived experience of how
it felt.
And so, bob the century, hestarts becoming this bigger than
life character, like basically,as he is told by Julia Louise
Dreyfus's character I think hername is Valentina, who is the
actual villain.
Right, valentina is the actualvillain and she said like you
(11:46):
are more powerful than gods, youknow you are, you are so
powerful, you are so amazing.
And she talks him up and he'sable to kind of fill this up.
Except what happens?
What happens when he startsactually believing in himself
and seeing this?
Well then this void comes out.
Or, as I totally saw this inthe moment, was his shadow.
(12:07):
So if you are familiar with anyof Carl Jung's work, with the
Jungian psychology, I love it todeath.
But it's about your shadow,those parts of you that you want
to hide, those parts of youthat you don't want anyone to
see.
And what is that?
It's shame, isn't it?
And as Carl Jung speaks aboutin his work, true integration is
(12:27):
when we are able to take thatshadow part and the golden parts
and bring them together andreally live in both sides and
see we are all of these parts ofourselves.
And so throughout this movie wehave this void.
And now this void is coming andhe's sucking up all these
people and he's putting thepeople into their worst memories
that they have.
And it's interesting because,again, the memories they have
are about shame, not necessarilyabout, like, just the bad
(12:53):
things that happened to them,because even when we see Bob's
memory of his dad abusing hismother in the memory, it's not
just oh, here's a bad thing thathappened to my mother and
here's what I had to witness inthe memory.
He is trying to stop it andinstead of his mother saying
thank you or maybe even beingable to take him out of that
(13:14):
situation, she says to him whydo you always do this?
You make things worse.
I pictured that attachmentwound already forming in his
brain.
You make things worse.
You make things worse.
Listen to that limited belief.
Why do you always do this?
You make things worse.
That's how we get those limitedbeliefs, those attachment
wounds, stuck inside of ourneurons and they carry on with
(13:35):
us.
And again, marvel is a fictionalmovie and it's all this stuff
going on.
And at the same time, there's alot of us that had that kind of
trauma in our lives and havebeen told that stuff.
Even when we tried to fight,even when we tried to push back,
even when we tried to makethings better, we were told that
we were too much, or we weretold that we were getting in the
way, you know.
(13:55):
And so that, what did thatteach us?
That taught us to stay small,to get out of the way, to not do
anything big and powerful inour lives.
And that happened to bob.
And so, as a result, he's, he'slonely, he doesn't feel like he
can trust anyone.
He's wandering around life andnow he finds this group, the,
the Thunderbolts, and Yelenakind of takes a liking to him
(14:16):
and they start connecting andall this stuff is happening.
And then, at the end, his shadowself, the void, is again kind
of taking over everything andsucking everyone into his shadow
.
And Bob runs over to him and hestarts punching him and he's
like I could do this, I couldtake care of this.
And he starts punching the void, punching a shadow, and I
(14:36):
remember sitting there watchingthis and I was like, oh well,
they did such a good job withthis movie until this one part.
This one part really doesn'tsit well with me, because you
shouldn't punch yourself, youshouldn't beat yourself up.
That's not going to work.
And then, like most things, Ishould have just waited.
I see, as he's punching hisshadow self, as he's punching
the void, he's starting to getsucked up into it.
How powerful is that I mean,come on it like totally shows us
(15:03):
that beating ourselves up forour past doesn't help at all and
it sucks us into the void aswell.
It sucks us into the shadowparts, into that bad self.
And Yelena notices this rightand she says wait, no, this is
making things worse, you can'tbe doing this.
And so for this whole time shecouldn't get out of this thing.
That's holding her down.
Something's holding her down, Ican't remember right now, but
because she wants to go and helpBob, she manages to find the
(15:27):
strength to get out of herrestraints to go and hold him
and help him through it and say,no, this isn't the way and
haven't we felt that way withother people before where we
don't have the strength forourselves but we do have the
strengths for other people.
And that's what a community does.
We talk about this so much inthe reboot program with my
(15:47):
ladies, where I say if you can'thold a positive and empowering
belief for yourself, then let ushold it for you right now.
And we go around and as acommunity we all tell that woman
how amazing she is, how greatshe is, how fantastic she is,
and maybe she can't believe itright then and there, but we
will hold space for her untilshe can.
And that's exactly what startedhappening.
(16:08):
So first Yelena gets out of herrestraints and then her dad
gets out of his restraints.
And so first Yelena gets out ofher restraints and then her dad
gets out of his restraints andthen everyone else starts
getting out.
Because when one person makes achange, it's powerful what it
does to the rest of the people.
And next thing, you know,they're all going around and
they're surrounding Bob andthey're hugging him and they're
holding him and they're tellinghim this isn't the way.
And it was through that, it wasthrough that love, it was
(16:30):
through that togetherness thathis shame actually released.
And then they came out of it.
I don't know, they just woundup on the street again or
something like that, I forget,but that part was just so
powerful and I want to thatwrote.
This has absolutely beenthrough some deep healing work,
because you don't write aboutthis kind of shit without
(16:59):
knowing what you're talkingabout.
And they did such a beautifuljob with this.
So, yeah, that's my thoughtsabout the thunderbolts movie.
Again, I just thought washilarious.
Even past the mental healthwork, it's probably one of the
best movies I have seen in along time, definitely one of the
best marvel movies that I'veever seen and I highly recommend
going to check it out.
But again, hopefully you'vealready seen it if you're
listening to this.
All right, everyone, thank youso much for coming along on this
(17:25):
ride with me and listening tomy kind of half-brain thoughts
about this movie.
Again, if you want to talkabout the movie, jump into the
Facebook group and let me knowthere about this movie Again.
If you want to talk about themovie, jump into the Facebook
group and let me know.
There's usually a post I put upevery week about the podcast
episode, and that's where we goin and we chat about.
Hey, Jenn, you know I have aquestion about this, or I
noticed you said this in thepodcast.
Can you elaborate?
That's what it's there for.
And again, join in, get joinedin with this community, be with
(17:49):
other women who want to helplift you up, and then you come
in and you help lift them up aswell, and that's what this is
all about.
That's what life is about, aswe saw in the Marvel movie, and
I cannot wait to speak with youall next week.
Take care.
As we wrap up today'sconversation.
Always remember that healing isa journey, not a destination,
(18:13):
and it is an honor to be a partof your healing journey.
If you want to dig deeper intothe topics we covered today, be
sure to head over to our shownotes, where you can find all of
the valuable informationmentioned in today's episode
right there, and please rememberto rate, review and subscribe
if you enjoyed today's podcast.
Your feedback means the worldto us and helps others discover
(18:35):
our podcast.
Until next time, remember tospeak up and speak honest.
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