October 15, 2025 • 15 mins
What if your pain became your purpose?
In this episode, I’m sharing the behind-the-scenes story of how Dance of Attachment came to life. From standing on the TEDx stage in 2024, heart pounding as I told the truth about love, to watching that same message turn into a #1 bestselling book, this is the journey that changed everything. I talk about the heartbreak that sparked it all, the healing that followed, and how this book became a love letter to every woman who has ever felt too much, not enough, or stuck in the same painful patterns.
You might want to listen if:
- You’ve ever wondered why love feels so hard, even when you’re doing the work.
- You keep attracting the same dynamics and want to finally break the pattern.
- You’ve struggled to feel safe, seen, or secure in relationships.
- You want to understand what your Adapted Attachment Stance really means.
- You’re ready for a reminder that your story isn’t over. You can turn your pain into your purpose.
FIND OUT MORE!
- Grab Your Copy of the #1 Best Selling Book --> Dance of Attachment
- Apply for FREE Podcast Coaching with Jenn
- Join our FREE Community! Speak Honest Facebook Group 🧡
- Become a Speak Honest Member and access all you need to become secure.
- Schedule your Free 30 min Attachment Assessment with Jenn Today!
- Watch Jenn on the 🔴 TEDx Stage!
- Visit www.speak-honest.com to learn more
- Follow Jenn on Instagram: @speak_honest
- Like the episode? Please write a review, your words help others find us!
DISCLAIMER: Speak Honest podcast content is informational, not professional or medical advice. Jenn is an ICF relationship coach, not a licensed therapist. Consult health professionals for specific concerns. Client opinions do not reflect Speak Honest’s stance. We aim for accuracy but are not liable for errors or outcomes from ...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:05):
Hello and welcome to Speak Honest.
I am your host and certifiedrelationship coach, Jennifer
Noble.
It has been my passion for overa decade to help women like you
heal.
What's been holding you backfrom having the relationships
you deserve?
Are you struggling with arelationship where you can't
seem to voice your emotions,needs, and boundaries without
(00:26):
having it blow up in your face?
Then you have found the rightpodcast, my friend.
Get ready for practical tips,empowering truths, and honest
conversations.
Now let's dive in.
Hello everyone, and welcome backto another episode of Speak
Honest.
I am Jen Noble, your go-torelationship coach, and today I
have an incredibly excitingannouncement to make.
(00:48):
Drum roll if you can.
My book, Dance of Attachment: Why Smart Women Do Dumb Shit in (00:51):
undefined
Relationships and How to Breakthe Pattern, is officially out
in the world.
Oh my goodness, I can't evendescribe how surreal it feels to
say that out loud.
This book has lived inside of mefor years.
Through the heartbreaks and thehealing and the messy drafts and
(01:13):
the late night editing sessionsand way too many cups of coffee
and probably one too many whiteclaws as well.
We officially launched onOctober 8th, and it has been the
wildest, most emotional week ofmy life.
For everyone who joined in onthe pre-sale, shared a post,
bought a copy, helped push us tonumber one bestseller.
I just want to say thank you.
(01:34):
Thank you so much.
You helped me take somethingthat started as a dream in my
Google Docs and turned it into areal tangible book that is now
in people's hands all over theworld.
Dance of Attachment isn't justanother relationship book.
It's everything I wish I hadknown when I was trying to make
love work by overfunctioning,overthinking, and overgiving.
(01:56):
And in these pages, I talk abouthow attachment patterns are
really just the ways we learn todance in relationships.
Some of us salsa withuncertainty, while some of us
tango solo because it feelssafer that way.
And some of us, you know, weswing back and forth between
closeness and distance.
But here's the truth you canlearn a new dance.
(02:18):
You can become secure.
Not by being perfect, but byunderstanding the moves you've
been repeating and learning howto lead yourself differently.
That's what this book, Dance ofAttachment, is all about.
It's not a fix yourself manualbecause you're not broken.
It's an invitation to come hometo yourself, to your body, to
(02:40):
your needs and to your truth.
So before we dive into today'sepisode, I just want to say from
the bottom of my heart, thankyou.
Thank you for being part of thisjourney, for believing in this
message, and for showing up foryourself every time you listen,
reflect, or do the hardemotional work that healing asks
of us.
Now, if you haven't grabbed yourcopy yet, you can head to
(03:03):
danceofattachment.com or you canclick on the link in the show
notes to order your copy.
I truly can't wait for you toread it, to highlight it, to cry
and maybe leave some teardropson a few pages and see yourself
in its stories.
So let's all take a big deepbreath, grab your favorite cup
of tea or your favorite cozydrink, and let's celebrate this
beautiful new chapter together.
(03:25):
Now let's dive into the episode.
When I think about where thisbook really began, my mind
always goes back to February in2024, standing on that bright
red circle, giving my very firstTEDx talk.
I can still feel my heartpounding that morning.
I remember thinking, what am Ieven doing here?
(03:47):
I wasn't some polished academicready to deliver data points.
I was a relationship coach witha story.
A story about heartbreak andhealing and how I finally
stopped trying to earn love.
And then that talk, which wastitled, Do attachment styles
determine the dance of ourrelationships?
That was the moment everythingchanged for me.
(04:08):
For the first time, I said outloud what I had been quietly
discovering for years.
That love isn't a mystery wesolve in our heads.
It's a rhythm we learn to feelin our bodies.
I compared the four attachmentstyles to dances because that's
what I typically did with myclients at the time.
The smooth waltz, the solsa ofuncertainty, solo tango and the
pendulum swing dance, and as Ilooked out into the crowd, I
(04:31):
could see people nodding alongand finally understanding their
own choreography and love.
It was like something wasfinally starting to click with
other people.
Back then I only had a handfulof clients, and now there's so
many more that I've been talkingto, hundreds of women that I
help every day, and it'soverwhelming to think it all
started from that one day.
(04:51):
That day, I knew this messagewasn't just mine.
It belonged to every woman whohad ever loved too much, given
too much of herself, or lostherself trying to be enough.
And after that talk went liveand started spreading online, I
think there was like 20,000 someviews in the in the first couple
of months.
(05:12):
My inbox filled with messagesfrom women saying things like,
Jen, I see myself in your story.
Oh my god, thank you for tellingme that.
And now I know I'm not crazy.
Oh, wait, that's why I was doingthat?
Wait, that's why he was doingthat?
I need to learn more.
And that's when I realized thiscouldn't just stay a talk.
It needed to become somethingbigger, something women could
(05:34):
hold in their hands, underline,highlight, cry on, and grow
through.
So I started writing.
And let me tell you, writingthis book stretched me in every
way possible.
There were nights I stared atthe screen wondering, who the
hell was I to even tell thisstory?
Then I'd remember that red dotand the women who saw themselves
(05:55):
in my words, and my clients andthe ladies in my program and it
gave me permission to be seen.
And I wanted this book to givethem permission to heal.
Dance of attachment became morethan a book.
It became a bridge.
From the stage to your heart,from theory to lived experience,
(06:16):
from performing love toembodying it.
And when I look back, I realizethe TEDx talk was never the end
goal.
It was the spark.
It turned my pain into purposeand it gave me the courage to
write the book that I wish I hadhad years ago when I was
heartbroken and felt like I wasalone.
(06:36):
So let's talk about what Danceof Attachment is actually about.
Because for those of you thatare new here, you might be like,
what is she even on about?
But when I started writing thisbook, I didn't want it to just
be another relationshipself-help guide full of surface
level advice like love yourselffirst or just communicate
better, right?
I wanted it to be somethingreal, something that met women
where they actually are, in themessy middle of heartbreak.
(07:00):
Most of us were never taught howto love in a way that feels
safe.
We learned a rhythm from thepeople who raised us, from our
culture, from the stories thattold us love means proving your
worth, fixing someone else, orpretending you're fine when
you're not.
The book helps you recognizeyour unique adapted attachment
stance, the dance you've beendoing in love, and then gently
(07:22):
guides you to learning a newone.
I use dance metaphors throughoutthe book because healing doesn't
happen in our heads.
It happens in our bodies, and ithappens when we learn to move
differently.
So I talk about the four adaptedattachment stances, which
essentially are just attachmentstyles in the book, and we talk
about secure attachment, whichis the smooth waltz, a steady,
connected, and calm type oflove.
(07:44):
We also dive into the threenon-secure attachment stances.
Those are anxious attachment, oras I call it the salsa of
uncertainty.
It's fast fiery, and you'realways preoccupied with what
your partner is doing.
And then we have avoidantattachment, and that's the solo
tenko.
It's beautiful, but it'sdistant, and it's scared, and
it's afraid to lose control.
(08:05):
And then we have disorganizedattachment, the pendulum swing
dance.
This is an unpredictable rhythmtorn between wanting love and
fearing it.
You're literally swingingbetween anxious and avoidant at
all times.
And each one has its own uniquerhythm, its own beauty, its own
challenges.
But instead of pathologizingthem, I wanted to help women
understand them.
To see these dances are just thesurvival strategies we learned
(08:28):
when we didn't feel safe inlove.
And this book is divided intotwo parts.
So the first half explains theseadapted attachment stances, how
they develop, how they show upin your adult relationships, and
how you can start recognizingyour own.
But the second half is the funpart, and this is where I teach
you how to heal using my dancemethod.
Literally, dance, D-A-N-C-E.
(08:50):
Discover, alleviate, nurture,communicate, and embody.
And no, this isn't aboutbecoming perfect.
It's about learning how to movewith more awareness and
compassion for yourself.
It's about noticing when youstart to spiral, when you pull
away, or when you're trying toperform for love.
And then choosing a differentstep.
(09:12):
Because what makes Dance ofAttachment different is that it
blends science with your soul.
You find real psychologicalresearch next to personal
stories, somatic exercises, andeven journal prompts designed to
help you process what you'refeeling.
In fact, one of my favoritethings about this book is the
free workbook that comes alongwith it.
It's my free gift to you.
(09:32):
Because I don't want you to justread about the work.
I want you to do the work.
Okay?
I want you to do what it takesto heal.
Because healing isn't aboutmemorizing facts.
It's about experiencing safetyin your body one step at a time.
There are a lot of books outthere about attachment.
And honestly, some of them areamazing.
I I have a lot of them on myshelf right now.
(09:53):
But most of them stop at thewhy, and they tell you why you
are the way you are, why youattract certain partners, why
you overthink or shut down.
But they don't actually teachyou how to change it.
And that's where dance ofattachment stands apart.
It's not just about explainingyour patterns, it's about giving
you a way out of them.
When I was writing, I keptthinking about how confusing
healing actually feels.
(10:14):
You know that moment when you'reaware of your triggers, but you
can't actually stop reacting?
That space where you're tryingto show up differently, but you
keep falling into old rhythms?
That's where most women getstuck.
And that's exactly where thisbook meets you.
It bridges the gap betweenunderstanding and embodiment,
between the theory and the livedexperience.
(10:36):
Because true healing isn't aboutdoing more, it's about feeling
more.
And that's why this book isn'tjust filled with information.
It's filled with experiences,with stories where you'll be
able to see yourself in all ofmy clients' situations and in my
situations.
You'll find somatic prompts andreflection questions and gentle
practices to bring the scienceof attachment down into your
(10:58):
nervous system.
I wanted it to feel like you'resitting across from me with a
cup of coffee, talking aboutreal things, we're cozied up
with our blankets.
You know, maybe you'reheartbroken, maybe you can't set
your boundaries or you don'tknow how to hold to them.
Maybe your patterns just keepgetting in the way.
But after our talk, you'd bewalking away not just with
insight, but with tools you canactually use.
(11:20):
And the other thing that makesdance of attachment different is
that it's deeply personal.
Every chapter carries pieces ofmy own story and stories from my
clients, real, raw, sometimesfunny, sometimes ridiculous,
sometimes painful moments thatremind you healing doesn't
happen in a straight line.
It's nonlinear.
It's human because we're human.
It's not a book that asks you tobe perfect.
(11:42):
It's one that invites you to behonest, to notice what hurts
without judging it, to holdyourself with compassion when
you want to shut down.
And to find safety again.
Not because someone else finallygave it to you, but because you
learned to give it to yourself.
And that to me is what makesthis book so different.
It's not just my voice, it'severy woman's voice, every story
(12:02):
that's ever been told in mycoaching sessions, every tear
that has been cried, every ohshit moment when somebody
realizes, wait, this is me.
And this book holds all of that,woven together to remind you
that healing isn't an endpoint.
It's a dance.
Writing Dance of Attachment hasbeen one of the most vulnerable,
(12:24):
beautiful, and humblingexperiences of my life.
There were moments I laughed,moments I cried, moments I
honestly didn't know if I couldfinish it.
But I kept thinking about thewomen who would one day hold
this book in their hands.
Women like you, who are tired oftrying to figure out love and
ready to feel safe in it.
I wrote this book for everywoman who's ever texted too
(12:44):
much, loved too hard, or lostherself when she was trying to
be chosen.
For the ones who have said, Iknow better, Jen, but I still
can't stop.
For the ones who have worked sohard on themselves but still
find love confusing, you are whoI wrote this for.
And this isn't just a booklaunch.
It's a celebration of everythingthat got us here.
Every tear, every aha moment,every brave conversation that
(13:06):
helped you start showing updifferently in love.
Dance of attachment is ourstory.
It is the story of womenlearning that we do not have to
keep doing stupid shit for loveanymore, ladies.
We can break the pattern.
So I just want you to know againhow deeply grateful I am for
this community, for those of youwho have listened to the podcast
week after week, those of youwho have joined the Speak On Us
(13:28):
membership program, shared yourbreakthroughs, sent me messages,
and made me cry in the best waypossible.
You are the reason this bookexists, and you are the reason
this book is a number onebestseller.
Thank you so much from thebottom of my heart.
I truly mean it.
And listen, again, if youhaven't grabbed your copy yet,
there is still time.
You can head over todanceofattachment.com or just
(13:49):
click on the link in the shownotes to order your copy today.
It's available right now onAmazon.
It should be available in Barnesand Noble soon and anywhere else
you can grab a book.
And if you want it in your localbookstore, you just call them up
and tell them, hey, can youplease stock Dance of
Attachment?
I would love to get it.
Before we close out, I want toleave you with this.
Healing doesn't mean you neverstruggle again.
(14:09):
It means you start to see thepattern before it takes over.
It means you can soothe yourselfwhen things feel hard.
It means you finally stopfighting for love and you start
dancing with it.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for dancing thisjourney with me.
I can't wait to hear what Danceof Attachment brings up for you.
The insights, the tears, thelaughter, and the freedom that
comes when you realize you arenever broken.
(14:32):
You just need to break thepatterns.
All right, my friends, I loveyou all so much.
Be sure to grab your copy ofDance of Attachment, and I will
speak with you all next week.
Take care.
As we wrap up today'sconversation, always remember
that healing is a journey, not adestination.
And it is an honor to be a partof your healing journey.
(14:53):
If you want to dig deeper intothe topics we covered today, be
sure to head over to our shownotes where you can find all of
the valuable informationmentioned in today's episode
right there.
And please remember to rate,review, and subscribe if you
enjoyed today's podcast.
Your feedback means the world tous and helps others discover our
podcast.
Until next time, remember tospeak up and speak honest.
Hello and welcome to Speak Honest.
I am your host and certifiedrelationship coach, Jennifer
Noble.
It has been my passion for overa decade to help women like you
heal.
What's been holding you backfrom having the relationships
you deserve?
Are you struggling with arelationship where you can't
seem to voice your emotions,needs, and boundaries without
(00:26):
having it blow up in your face?
Then you have found the rightpodcast, my friend.
Get ready for practical tips,empowering truths, and honest
conversations.
Now let's dive in.
Hello everyone, and welcome backto another episode of Speak
Honest.
I am Jen Noble, your go-torelationship coach, and today I
have an incredibly excitingannouncement to make.
(00:48):
Drum roll if you can.
My book, Dance of Attachment: Why Smart Women Do Dumb Shit in (00:51):
undefined
Relationships and How to Breakthe Pattern, is officially out
in the world.
Oh my goodness, I can't evendescribe how surreal it feels to
say that out loud.
This book has lived inside of mefor years.
Through the heartbreaks and thehealing and the messy drafts and
(01:13):
the late night editing sessionsand way too many cups of coffee
and probably one too many whiteclaws as well.
We officially launched onOctober 8th, and it has been the
wildest, most emotional week ofmy life.
For everyone who joined in onthe pre-sale, shared a post,
bought a copy, helped push us tonumber one bestseller.
I just want to say thank you.
(01:34):
Thank you so much.
You helped me take somethingthat started as a dream in my
Google Docs and turned it into areal tangible book that is now
in people's hands all over theworld.
Dance of Attachment isn't justanother relationship book.
It's everything I wish I hadknown when I was trying to make
love work by overfunctioning,overthinking, and overgiving.
(01:56):
And in these pages, I talk abouthow attachment patterns are
really just the ways we learn todance in relationships.
Some of us salsa withuncertainty, while some of us
tango solo because it feelssafer that way.
And some of us, you know, weswing back and forth between
closeness and distance.
But here's the truth you canlearn a new dance.
(02:18):
You can become secure.
Not by being perfect, but byunderstanding the moves you've
been repeating and learning howto lead yourself differently.
That's what this book, Dance ofAttachment, is all about.
It's not a fix yourself manualbecause you're not broken.
It's an invitation to come hometo yourself, to your body, to
(02:40):
your needs and to your truth.
So before we dive into today'sepisode, I just want to say from
the bottom of my heart, thankyou.
Thank you for being part of thisjourney, for believing in this
message, and for showing up foryourself every time you listen,
reflect, or do the hardemotional work that healing asks
of us.
Now, if you haven't grabbed yourcopy yet, you can head to
(03:03):
danceofattachment.com or you canclick on the link in the show
notes to order your copy.
I truly can't wait for you toread it, to highlight it, to cry
and maybe leave some teardropson a few pages and see yourself
in its stories.
So let's all take a big deepbreath, grab your favorite cup
of tea or your favorite cozydrink, and let's celebrate this
beautiful new chapter together.
(03:25):
Now let's dive into the episode.
When I think about where thisbook really began, my mind
always goes back to February in2024, standing on that bright
red circle, giving my very firstTEDx talk.
I can still feel my heartpounding that morning.
I remember thinking, what am Ieven doing here?
(03:47):
I wasn't some polished academicready to deliver data points.
I was a relationship coach witha story.
A story about heartbreak andhealing and how I finally
stopped trying to earn love.
And then that talk, which wastitled, Do attachment styles
determine the dance of ourrelationships?
That was the moment everythingchanged for me.
(04:08):
For the first time, I said outloud what I had been quietly
discovering for years.
That love isn't a mystery wesolve in our heads.
It's a rhythm we learn to feelin our bodies.
I compared the four attachmentstyles to dances because that's
what I typically did with myclients at the time.
The smooth waltz, the solsa ofuncertainty, solo tango and the
pendulum swing dance, and as Ilooked out into the crowd, I
(04:31):
could see people nodding alongand finally understanding their
own choreography and love.
It was like something wasfinally starting to click with
other people.
Back then I only had a handfulof clients, and now there's so
many more that I've been talkingto, hundreds of women that I
help every day, and it'soverwhelming to think it all
started from that one day.
(04:51):
That day, I knew this messagewasn't just mine.
It belonged to every woman whohad ever loved too much, given
too much of herself, or lostherself trying to be enough.
And after that talk went liveand started spreading online, I
think there was like 20,000 someviews in the in the first couple
of months.
(05:12):
My inbox filled with messagesfrom women saying things like,
Jen, I see myself in your story.
Oh my god, thank you for tellingme that.
And now I know I'm not crazy.
Oh, wait, that's why I was doingthat?
Wait, that's why he was doingthat?
I need to learn more.
And that's when I realized thiscouldn't just stay a talk.
It needed to become somethingbigger, something women could
(05:34):
hold in their hands, underline,highlight, cry on, and grow
through.
So I started writing.
And let me tell you, writingthis book stretched me in every
way possible.
There were nights I stared atthe screen wondering, who the
hell was I to even tell thisstory?
Then I'd remember that red dotand the women who saw themselves
(05:55):
in my words, and my clients andthe ladies in my program and it
gave me permission to be seen.
And I wanted this book to givethem permission to heal.
Dance of attachment became morethan a book.
It became a bridge.
From the stage to your heart,from theory to lived experience,
(06:16):
from performing love toembodying it.
And when I look back, I realizethe TEDx talk was never the end
goal.
It was the spark.
It turned my pain into purposeand it gave me the courage to
write the book that I wish I hadhad years ago when I was
heartbroken and felt like I wasalone.
(06:36):
So let's talk about what Danceof Attachment is actually about.
Because for those of you thatare new here, you might be like,
what is she even on about?
But when I started writing thisbook, I didn't want it to just
be another relationshipself-help guide full of surface
level advice like love yourselffirst or just communicate
better, right?
I wanted it to be somethingreal, something that met women
where they actually are, in themessy middle of heartbreak.
(07:00):
Most of us were never taught howto love in a way that feels
safe.
We learned a rhythm from thepeople who raised us, from our
culture, from the stories thattold us love means proving your
worth, fixing someone else, orpretending you're fine when
you're not.
The book helps you recognizeyour unique adapted attachment
stance, the dance you've beendoing in love, and then gently
(07:22):
guides you to learning a newone.
I use dance metaphors throughoutthe book because healing doesn't
happen in our heads.
It happens in our bodies, and ithappens when we learn to move
differently.
So I talk about the four adaptedattachment stances, which
essentially are just attachmentstyles in the book, and we talk
about secure attachment, whichis the smooth waltz, a steady,
connected, and calm type oflove.
(07:44):
We also dive into the threenon-secure attachment stances.
Those are anxious attachment, oras I call it the salsa of
uncertainty.
It's fast fiery, and you'realways preoccupied with what
your partner is doing.
And then we have avoidantattachment, and that's the solo
tenko.
It's beautiful, but it'sdistant, and it's scared, and
it's afraid to lose control.
(08:05):
And then we have disorganizedattachment, the pendulum swing
dance.
This is an unpredictable rhythmtorn between wanting love and
fearing it.
You're literally swingingbetween anxious and avoidant at
all times.
And each one has its own uniquerhythm, its own beauty, its own
challenges.
But instead of pathologizingthem, I wanted to help women
understand them.
To see these dances are just thesurvival strategies we learned
(08:28):
when we didn't feel safe inlove.
And this book is divided intotwo parts.
So the first half explains theseadapted attachment stances, how
they develop, how they show upin your adult relationships, and
how you can start recognizingyour own.
But the second half is the funpart, and this is where I teach
you how to heal using my dancemethod.
Literally, dance, D-A-N-C-E.
(08:50):
Discover, alleviate, nurture,communicate, and embody.
And no, this isn't aboutbecoming perfect.
It's about learning how to movewith more awareness and
compassion for yourself.
It's about noticing when youstart to spiral, when you pull
away, or when you're trying toperform for love.
And then choosing a differentstep.
(09:12):
Because what makes Dance ofAttachment different is that it
blends science with your soul.
You find real psychologicalresearch next to personal
stories, somatic exercises, andeven journal prompts designed to
help you process what you'refeeling.
In fact, one of my favoritethings about this book is the
free workbook that comes alongwith it.
It's my free gift to you.
(09:32):
Because I don't want you to justread about the work.
I want you to do the work.
Okay?
I want you to do what it takesto heal.
Because healing isn't aboutmemorizing facts.
It's about experiencing safetyin your body one step at a time.
There are a lot of books outthere about attachment.
And honestly, some of them areamazing.
I I have a lot of them on myshelf right now.
(09:53):
But most of them stop at thewhy, and they tell you why you
are the way you are, why youattract certain partners, why
you overthink or shut down.
But they don't actually teachyou how to change it.
And that's where dance ofattachment stands apart.
It's not just about explainingyour patterns, it's about giving
you a way out of them.
When I was writing, I keptthinking about how confusing
healing actually feels.
(10:14):
You know that moment when you'reaware of your triggers, but you
can't actually stop reacting?
That space where you're tryingto show up differently, but you
keep falling into old rhythms?
That's where most women getstuck.
And that's exactly where thisbook meets you.
It bridges the gap betweenunderstanding and embodiment,
between the theory and the livedexperience.
(10:36):
Because true healing isn't aboutdoing more, it's about feeling
more.
And that's why this book isn'tjust filled with information.
It's filled with experiences,with stories where you'll be
able to see yourself in all ofmy clients' situations and in my
situations.
You'll find somatic prompts andreflection questions and gentle
practices to bring the scienceof attachment down into your
(10:58):
nervous system.
I wanted it to feel like you'resitting across from me with a
cup of coffee, talking aboutreal things, we're cozied up
with our blankets.
You know, maybe you'reheartbroken, maybe you can't set
your boundaries or you don'tknow how to hold to them.
Maybe your patterns just keepgetting in the way.
But after our talk, you'd bewalking away not just with
insight, but with tools you canactually use.
(11:20):
And the other thing that makesdance of attachment different is
that it's deeply personal.
Every chapter carries pieces ofmy own story and stories from my
clients, real, raw, sometimesfunny, sometimes ridiculous,
sometimes painful moments thatremind you healing doesn't
happen in a straight line.
It's nonlinear.
It's human because we're human.
It's not a book that asks you tobe perfect.
(11:42):
It's one that invites you to behonest, to notice what hurts
without judging it, to holdyourself with compassion when
you want to shut down.
And to find safety again.
Not because someone else finallygave it to you, but because you
learned to give it to yourself.
And that to me is what makesthis book so different.
It's not just my voice, it'severy woman's voice, every story
(12:02):
that's ever been told in mycoaching sessions, every tear
that has been cried, every ohshit moment when somebody
realizes, wait, this is me.
And this book holds all of that,woven together to remind you
that healing isn't an endpoint.
It's a dance.
Writing Dance of Attachment hasbeen one of the most vulnerable,
(12:24):
beautiful, and humblingexperiences of my life.
There were moments I laughed,moments I cried, moments I
honestly didn't know if I couldfinish it.
But I kept thinking about thewomen who would one day hold
this book in their hands.
Women like you, who are tired oftrying to figure out love and
ready to feel safe in it.
I wrote this book for everywoman who's ever texted too
(12:44):
much, loved too hard, or lostherself when she was trying to
be chosen.
For the ones who have said, Iknow better, Jen, but I still
can't stop.
For the ones who have worked sohard on themselves but still
find love confusing, you are whoI wrote this for.
And this isn't just a booklaunch.
It's a celebration of everythingthat got us here.
Every tear, every aha moment,every brave conversation that
(13:06):
helped you start showing updifferently in love.
Dance of attachment is ourstory.
It is the story of womenlearning that we do not have to
keep doing stupid shit for loveanymore, ladies.
We can break the pattern.
So I just want you to know againhow deeply grateful I am for
this community, for those of youwho have listened to the podcast
week after week, those of youwho have joined the Speak On Us
(13:28):
membership program, shared yourbreakthroughs, sent me messages,
and made me cry in the best waypossible.
You are the reason this bookexists, and you are the reason
this book is a number onebestseller.
Thank you so much from thebottom of my heart.
I truly mean it.
And listen, again, if youhaven't grabbed your copy yet,
there is still time.
You can head over todanceofattachment.com or just
(13:49):
click on the link in the shownotes to order your copy today.
It's available right now onAmazon.
It should be available in Barnesand Noble soon and anywhere else
you can grab a book.
And if you want it in your localbookstore, you just call them up
and tell them, hey, can youplease stock Dance of
Attachment?
I would love to get it.
Before we close out, I want toleave you with this.
Healing doesn't mean you neverstruggle again.
(14:09):
It means you start to see thepattern before it takes over.
It means you can soothe yourselfwhen things feel hard.
It means you finally stopfighting for love and you start
dancing with it.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for dancing thisjourney with me.
I can't wait to hear what Danceof Attachment brings up for you.
The insights, the tears, thelaughter, and the freedom that
comes when you realize you arenever broken.
(14:32):
You just need to break thepatterns.
All right, my friends, I loveyou all so much.
Be sure to grab your copy ofDance of Attachment, and I will
speak with you all next week.
Take care.
As we wrap up today'sconversation, always remember
that healing is a journey, not adestination.
And it is an honor to be a partof your healing journey.
(14:53):
If you want to dig deeper intothe topics we covered today, be
sure to head over to our shownotes where you can find all of
the valuable informationmentioned in today's episode
right there.
And please remember to rate,review, and subscribe if you
enjoyed today's podcast.
Your feedback means the world tous and helps others discover our
podcast.
Until next time, remember tospeak up and speak honest.
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