Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone.
This is Jules and Michelle here, two spicy midlife women
sharing our real-life storiesand having no BS conversations
with you, Right, Michelle?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
That's right.
We're here to help you, midlifewomen, redefine relationships,
ditch toxic cycles and reclaimyour power.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
one episode at a time
, and we have a treat for you
today because we have saved anepisode to share with our spicy
midlife women audience in regardto lingerie sexy lingerie just
sexy lingerie, lingerie andrelationships and all different
things.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Lingerie so yeah, no,
no granny panties, that is not
spicy, that does not have anyplace for this podcast
playground right, okay, fine,she's not wearing her granny
Danny.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Anyway, we hope you
guys enjoyed this episode.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So, julie, why don't
you tell me what you got on
underneath your clothes thereright now?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Well, I've got a
little black, little black
number underneath my verysomewhat see-through shirt, so
you can kind of see it.
We're going to call it sheer.
It's a little bit sheer rightshirt so you can kind of see it.
We're going to call it sheer.
It's a little bit sheer, right,but a little black number
underneath it so you can kind ofsee through it.
This particular black numberdoes not have lace, it's just a
(01:14):
straight up like bandeau, but Iknow it's under there.
You can kind of see it and Ikind of like it on my afternoon
that we're recording.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
So I wanted to talk
about that a little bit today
because definitely for me and Ithink same for you sometimes,
what we as women have going onunderneath the outfit, the
outward appearance, what we gothappening underneath, definitely
, definitely, has an effect onconfidence 100% Sensuality
(01:47):
sexiness, empowerment and evenwe're going to talk a little bit
about the self-care, self-loveaspect that you know we're just
going to call it lingerie.
It doesn't necessarily mean it'sa few different aspects about
lingerie.
It's not always about, you know, it's not always about sexy
spicy in the bedroom, right,which.
(02:10):
I think, is what a lot ofpeople really think about with
lingerie.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
And I'm looking at it
like lingerie is a way for us
to feel more empowered, more incontrol, more female and sensual
, really in any capacity or anyway that we want to.
Absolutely it doesn't have tobe for someone else, it's for
you, and when you feel moreconfident, that radiates into
(02:35):
how you behave, how you carryyourself, how you walk and talk
Even at 60,.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
There is no age limit
on sexy.
No, I am here to tell you no.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
No, I think as you
get a little bit older, you
might get a little bit more.
Well, I know with me I'vebecome a little bit more open to
those things than I was when Iwas younger.
Honestly, when I was younger Ididn't even give a shit.
I was like, just throw onwhatever I need to wear, get out
the door.
There were times, definitely,when I had gone on lingerie
(03:05):
sprays and gotten things that Iwanted to get for myself and we
all know that good stuff is notcheap.
You want to get somethingthat's going to be lasting and
have really good quality lace onyour body and that sort of
thing, and it's not going to beinexpensive, but that might be
the actual self-care treat youwant for yourself.
Going to be inexpensive, butthat might be the actual
(03:26):
self-care treat you want foryourself.
One thing I think to note,though, that's important is, as
women, we have gone through manystages in our lives, and our
listeners are going through alot of these stages too.
Right, they may be in juststarting into menopause, they
may have been completed, theymay not have started it yet, so
they may not understand a littlebit about how their body's
changing Could be nine monthspregnant, oh yeah.
(03:48):
And they have pretty maternitybras now too, which is crazy,
which I love.
They didn't have that when wewere nursing and had our kids
and everything.
It was very hospital-lookingstuff, drapey, yeah, and the
granny panties were therelooking stuff, and the granny
(04:08):
panties were there.
I mean, I remember having aconversation with someone at
work and she was actually myboss, but we had a really good
conversation about some stuffand I had never seen a thong
before.
I'd never worn a thong.
I was probably 30, maybe 35.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Those women out there
, a thong is a pair of panties,
not things you put on your feetjust to be clear.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
And she was like oh
yeah, they're awesome.
It took me a little while toget used to it, because they
definitely feel different, butnow it's like I can't even it's
weird to me to wear somethingelse, because that's what I've
become accustomed to over theyears.
So you know the panty lines, butanyway, that's a whole nother
topic.
But I think what's important tonote is our bodies are changing
and the needs of our bodies arechanging and how things fit is
(04:52):
changing, and so things that Ipurchased eight years ago that
are still beautiful pieces arenot really working for me
anymore.
I don't care for them as much,they don't feel as comfortable,
and so it gives me a good excuse, I guess, to go out and get a
few new pieces.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah.
Going into really big meetingsor things where I knew that I
needed to feel super confidentand super empowered and wearing
like super sexy, verycomfortable, silky, yummy
(05:30):
lingerie underneath my clothesNot like this, because I was
obviously in a work setting.
I knew it was there, I knew howit made me feel.
Nobody else knew what was goingto be my little pep in my step
right, but I did, and that's allthat, I needed 100%.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Ladies.
If you haven't tried that,you've got to try it.
Don't knock it Until you try it.
You will see what we aretalking about.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Oh my gosh, you guys,
it's like, yeah, it's like
you're walking around and you'relike nobody knows what's going
on underneath these clothes, butyou at that time anyway.
So you know, it just gives youa little bit of self-confidence,
I think a little boost, on dayswhere you feel like you might
need it for whatever reason, andyou know, from a self-care
(06:14):
perspective it's the same.
It's like you can wear thosethings underneath your clothes
when you're going to the grocerystore if you want to.
Now there's no reason why youhave to wear shitty looking
lingerie.
But there is comfortablelingerie and then there is
lingerie that's maybe stuff thatyou would wear for occasions,
right?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Like a vacation or
anniversary, different things
like that, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yeah, you know like
we were talking about like a
cute little lace bralettematching panties and kind of how
that makes you feellighthearted and playful and
maybe a little flirty and stuffthat might be a really wonderful
thing to wear on a date nightor, you know, as a little bit of
foreplay for yourself yeah,even you know as you're kind of
getting things going your person, yeah, so anyway, I love that
(06:58):
yeah.
Do you remember having a firstlingerie?
Like sexy lingerie purchase.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
You know, I remember
my first lingerie purchase.
I was like 19, right, and Ithink and this is just me
looking back at 19 year oldMichelle, looking back at that I
didn't know what the heck I wasdoing and sadly, I think a lot
of stereotypical things that goalong with lingerie and porn and
(07:29):
stuff like that give you thisidea that you know it's all
about bedroom and sexy Cheap andsordid, yeah, what did you say?
Cheap and sordid, yeah, that,cheap and sordid.
And know I the the first pieceof lingerie honestly I ever
bought.
I was young, I was trying toimpress, I knew nothing about
anything, truly, and it was.
(07:51):
It was, yeah, pink, as pink andas lacy and as flowery and
fluffy, that you can get all thestereotypes wrapped up into one
piece.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I'm pretty sure I
think my first, my first
lingerie like beautiful, prettylingerie was at my bridal shower
oh, when I was what.
23 I didn't have.
I don't recall.
I mean I didn't really have themoney to be running around
buying like beautiful lingerieand at that point I did work at
Nordstrom, so I probably saw alot of pretty lingerie.
(08:25):
But I remember receiving thisfrom one of the bridal showers
and going, holy shit, this iskind of cool stuff and but I
(08:45):
really didn't know how to wearit, where to wear it.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
I know that sounds
really simplistic, but when
you're 23 years old a bit whenwe were 23 years old it's like
my fiance didn't really careabout it that much either.
Couldn't see all the examplesout there online and get all
that information.
Yeah, so mine was cheap andsorted and Julie's was a little
more, you know on there, becauseshe was getting married.
I was young, cheap and sorted.
She was older and gettingmarried.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
My poly was cheap and
sorted atid at one point too,
Don't worry.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
You're not alone,
Then honestly, after that, I
mean, I was married by the timeI was 22.
I got married when I was 21.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Oh God, and you went
straight into maternity stuff.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yeah, and because I,
yeah, I was pregnant and then
got married in that order andyou know, so, definitely Good
Mormon girl, okay, sorry, andthat's how that happened, and
yeah.
So then I'm wearing maternitytents because that's how it was
back then and wasn't feelingsexy in any way, shape or form,
honestly, didn't even know howto go about that, and so it
(09:37):
wasn't until much later that Igot something and it was
honestly, truly there weredifferent lingerie things
throughout, but it wasn't untilI was single again and divorced
that I really kind of felt thepower of what a beautiful piece
(09:58):
could feel like underneath formyself, right outside of what
was showing on the outside.
100%, if that makes sense, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I mean my, so same
exact same thing and I remember,
you know, the stuff we had wasvery practical.
I didn't really pay too muchattention, I mean, I thought I
was just so cute.
Anyway, it wouldn't even matter, which is kind of hilarious
when I think back on.
You know, the big earring, the80s, you guys.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
I don't know what
else to tell you, but I did not.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I encountered the
thong, so, but that's not like
it's lingerie, and it definitelymade me feel better.
I didn't have panty lines andso my butt was cuter probably
too right.
So there was that.
But, to your point, until I wasdivorced, I did not give myself
permission really to go out andexperience or explore this
(10:49):
stuff, and we had been around itSpend the money on it.
Yeah, well, we had been aroundit because we worked in retail.
I mean, I saw all this people.
I worked in the loss preventionarea.
People stole a lot of thisreally pretty stuff.
So I saw a lot of these thingsthat were out there, but never
really thought about it formyself and I was not in a
mindset, I don't think, where Ifelt like that was something
that I I was not in a place inmy life where it would have made
(11:12):
a difference for me, right,which is, I think, a lot of
where our listeners are.
There might be a lot oflisteners out there that are
kind of feeling this way anddon't feel empowered and don't
feel like they have control overtheir bodies.
And this is one way, ladies,that you can do all of those
things.
You're not hurting anybody.
There's no judgment behind it.
Well, I think that might bepart of it too.
(11:34):
Anybody, there's no judgmentbehind it?
Well, I think that might bepart of it too.
There is judgment, or you'rethinking there's perceived
judgment behind making yourselffeel better with pretty lingerie
, like you're trying to sexsomeone up or something, and
it's not about that at all.
So you got to let the hatershate and just go, do you, you
know?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
You are in charge, no
matter what the situation is
right, and just if you haven'tyou're, you are in charge, no
matter what the situation isRight, right and just if you
haven't tried it, try it.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Well, I went to so my
first as an adult lingerie
experience.
So I was dating someone who wasreally into that stuff and so
it was kind of fun for mebecause I was able to.
I mean, I knew that he kind ofliked it and so I was able to
kind of go out and explore andit was like a whole different
side of myself I had neverencountered before, really in
(12:19):
the same way.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
And with sex toys I
mean, yeah, a whole other
episode, a whole other episode,same kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
That was all taboo
stuff to talk about too.
Again, generationally, I think,when we start seeing there's a
lot of commonalities with ourlisteners and what we're talking
about because they're probablygoing, oh hell, yeah, I didn't
even know what that was.
I mean, we know people likethat right now, yep so.
But I went to this.
It was a specialty lingeriestore that had just unique
(12:45):
pieces.
It wasn't like pieces that weregoing to be like everybody else
was wearing right, I didn't dothat on purpose, it just
happened to be where I went.
It was a little bougie lingeriestore and I don't know how much
money I spent there, but Iprobably spent four or five
hundred bucks on a couple well,it was enough stuff where I
could.
Yeah, I was definitely reloadingright on sexy pieces and I
(13:07):
still have some of the garters.
I got some garters and reallypretty matching bras and panties
and things like that, and I hadso much fun with it.
Yeah, I had so much fun with it.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Well, speaking of
that, so that's that purchase
that you were talking about.
What about boudoir, have you?
Experienced that, or do youknow about that?
Yes, yes, actually Tell ourlisteners, because I know you do
.
I'm just asking the question soyou can tell our listeners a
little bit about that so I don'tknow if you guys out there are
(13:37):
familiar with boudoirphotography.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
I had run across it
again after I got divorced so
this is all, and I am totallyrediscovering my sexuality, or
discovering it frankly you know,rediscovering a lot of things
about being a woman and whatthat entailed and I't.
So all of a sudden I didn't havethese boundaries right and so I
was kind of like feeling alittle bit like I needed to
sneak around and figure thesethings out because I should know
(14:02):
these the should word, you know, should know a lot of these
things by then.
I don't recall how I cameacross this woman, but there was
a woman who was doing boudoirphotography in this beautiful
old building in one of thesuburbs of Seattle called
Ballard Old, old, like120-year-old building or
something, and she had the mostcool setup because they did
(14:25):
first of all, told you what tobring for the photo shoot.
She said you know, whateverlingerie you want to bring,
definitely bring white, which Ithought was kind of odd.
But okay, bring white, bringblack, bring whatever you want.
So that was actually why Ithink I had gone to get that
lingerie.
Yeah, and did this boudoir photosession and I was like holy
shit, I could not believe.
(14:47):
I was like, wow, that's me.
And she didn't really touch thepictures up.
She said she would, she wouldsoften things up up a little bit
, but I really wanted it to benatural.
Yeah, more like me with youknow, but I mean, she, she
softened up a little.
She softened up a little bit,but it's definitely me, yeah,
you know it's me.
And they did your hair and then.
And then they had things therethat you could try on over, you
(15:09):
know, like these, like lacethings or like these net thing,
just sexy stuff, you know, anddifferent setups and I put a
whole, I did a photo shoot andthen came back, like was gone
for an hour or whatever, hadsome lunch, came back and then
went through all of the photoswith her and then chose whatever
photos I was going to keep andshe put them in a book for me
(15:32):
and gave me a thumb drive andand yeah.
Oh my God, it's like I totallywant to do it again, Because
that was maybe, I don't knoweight years ago.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Two women that have
done that and absolutely loved
it and definitely you knowconfidence.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Oh yeah, Not that
until then anyway, but yeah,
yeah.
So it was a wonderfulexperience and I would highly
recommend it for women who wantto get out there and really kind
of explore their sensuality andexplore things that they maybe
have been embarrassed to explore.
Yeah.
Yeah, I put pictures up, but Ithink that I better not yeah
(16:33):
probably not.
Yeah, I put pictures up, but Ithink that I better not yeah,
probably not, yeah, probably not.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I'll just, I think
you've seen them right.
Undercover moments thatcontinue with the confidence.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Yeah, you didn't have
like a lingerie-ish purchase
experience.
You had a different type ofhoo-ha experience, right, that
was like getting in preparationfor lingerie.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Yeah, the first time
I ever got a Brazilian wax, that
was a confidence booster, justlike you're talking about, with
the matching sexy lingerie thatyou wear during these, even for
work.
I just remember getting thatBrazilian wax.
And then, yeah, I wore a dressand heels.
I was working at Nordstrom, butI tell you what I was walking
(17:12):
around the store that day with adifferent pep in my step.
I was feeling very good andfelt like I was walking
straighter.
You know all the things, allthe confidence, all the things,
yeah, and feeling sexy.
So that's definitely.
That was kind of my aha Ooh,this is I like this.
Like rancor, definitely thatwas kind of my aha Ooh, this,
this is I like this.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Like right there,
yeah, so anyway.
Well, that that's, that's kindof how it goes.
So, anyway, I don't know if youhad any other thoughts on this
or that you wanted to share.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
I just think you know
, as Julie and I were talking
about some of this stuff and,and you know, lingerie is not
always about, you know, sex Ithink it's always associated
with that.
There's a whole.
This whole other side of it Ithink is super important and the
things, the emotions that canmake women feel, how it can help
(18:03):
with how they're acting andjust really that empowered
feeling on that sense.
And then as well you knowself-care and you know something
soft and satin giving you pauseand just you can be at home
wearing those things and justhaving it really wrap you up in
(18:23):
love really and make you feelthat way.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
And that's the whole
thing that we want to convey is
that this is something that Ifeel like a lot of women have
anticipated judgment around andso they don't talk about it.
It's like sex toys, like wewere going to go back to that
again, not on this episode, buton another.
They don't talk about it,they're embarrassed, they would
(18:46):
feel humiliated if anyone knewthey were even talking about it.
And to me it's like Iunderstand that girl, I
understand that woman because Iwas that person.
And now I'm kind of at thatplace in my life where I'm like
if you don't like it, tough shit.
No, it's like.
And if you're like, say, youknow you're with a partner who
thinks it's weird, then youreally have to kind of have your
(19:08):
partner reevaluate why theywould think that's weird.
I mean, you've been married fora long time and there's nothing
going on there.
They might think it's odd.
They might think you'recheating on them or something.
You know, when you're trying tokind of rediscover your
sexuality or rediscover yoursensuality or what you bring to
the table, and so there's someeducation that's got to go along
with that for your person to do.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Yeah, you can like
what we're talking about.
It's about much more than justappearance, right?
It's about feeling good in yourown skin, reconnecting with
your sensuality just like youdid with the boudoir session and
all of those things and usingit as a tool for empowerment and
(20:02):
confidence.
I think is a whole other way oflooking at lingerie.
Whether it's for intimatemoments or every day just to
treat yourself, or their ownpersonal intimate moments, it
can definitely be a key elementin embracing the beauty of each
stage in life.
And that's my story and I'msticking to it.
So you know what.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You're worthy.
I think it goes back to beingworthy and you're worth it.
And so if you're investingmoney in going out to buy a
blouse, buy something pretty togo underneath it and treat
yourself.
It's okay, it's really okay.
Treat yourself.
So on that note.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
That's it.
I just hope everybody got alittle something from this and
until next time ladies, yeah,have a good one.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Thank you for joining
us today.
Bye, Peace out.