June 9, 2025 • 23 mins
In this juicy second episode, Jules and Michele dive deep into what it actually means to be a spicy midlife woman, and it’s about a lot more than red lipstick and bold opinions. From sexual confidence and self-expression to body wisdom and reclaiming your voice, they unpack the fire behind the “spice” and why it’s so much more than a midlife buzzword. Equal parts empowering and hilarious, this episode is full of insights, personal stories, and thought-provoking questions to help you step into your power, define your own rules, and fully embrace who you are—inside and out.
You’ll learn:
- What it really means to be a “spicy midlife woman”
- How confidence, sexuality, and self-expression evolve in midlife
- Why being unapologetically yourself can make others uncomfortable—and why that’s okay
- The importance of reclaiming your voice in every area of life (yes, even the bedroom)
- How pleasure, sensuality, and curiosity shift as we age—and why we should embrace it
- The difference between conforming and being truly authentic
- How hormones impact midlife experiences (hello, hot flashes and libido shifts!)
- What it looks like to find joy in your body, your style, and your music (white go-go boots, anyone?)
- Tips for staying confident, curious, and connected through midlife changes
- Why building a supportive, spicy sisterhood matters more than ever
Are you ready to take your "spiciness" to the next level?!
Connect with Julee & Michele on Instagram @spicy_midlife_women and send a DM about what resonated most during this episode so they can encourage you with steps forward in your own life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, today you are here with Jules that's me and
Michelle over here, that's me.
Hey everybody, we are your twospicy midlife women from Seattle
Washington and we are here toshare real life stories and have
no BS conversations with you,right, michelle?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Oh, you better believe it.
We're here to help all youmidlife women redefine
relationships, ditch toxiccycles and reclaim your power,
one episode at a time.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I am really excited to get into this next little
series with you, michelle.
Yeah, so we are here today withepisode two of our rebrand, and
what we really want to talkwith everybody about is what it
means to be a spicy midlifewomen.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah, what is that anyways, right?
Well, you're spicy, and anytimeI tell somebody they ask you
know what's your podcast called?
And I just throw it out there.
Spicy midlife women.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
They're like ooh, they get it, I like that, yeah,
yeah, there's nothing betterthan having that spiciness.
I get you know, as we kind ofare getting on in years, as I've
heard you say before, and itwas funny, like today I was with
a new agent and we were talkingabout, you know, just the
process and the things we'redoing, and I made some mention
(01:21):
about her being less than halfmy age how old are you?
And I told her and she's like,oh my gosh.
Yeah, really you seem so youngand I was like no, that's just
me being really immature.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
From outside stereotypical perceptions.
Yeah, it's you being immature.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, I'm really not immature, I'm actually very
mature, but I'm kind of goofy,like we were talking about, and
I guess what that really boilsdown to is when we're talking
about being a woman first of all, that is, in this day and age
that we live in right now andyou know having your voice.
That's really kind of whatwe're talking about when we talk
about being spicy.
(01:57):
It's really kind of holdingyour own in the world, that we
live in a lot of different wayswhich we're going to get into
throughout the differentepisodes.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
But I think, too, it's things as we get into this,
because what we want to do hereis give other midlife women an
idea of what we're talking aboutwhen we say spicy midlife women
, and we're going to, in thisepisode, go over some of the key
things that can really helpfuel that fire and to keep it
burning inside of you when itcomes to these things, so things
(02:35):
that are of mindset, body,wisdom, you know, just
experiences and things that youhave, and so we feel like this
is the direction we would liketo share with all of you,
because these are the placesthat we've been in our lives.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I'm not saying that we have all of the answers by
any stretch, but we certainlyhave a lot of experiences and
things to share and, in doing so, hope that we're able to shed
light on the things that mightbe important in your life, or
the things that you're havingquestions with in your life, for
example desires that you have.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
within A lot of times I think in midlife, especially
earlier on you start to questionif those things are valid and
if it's okay if the things thatyou think about are somewhat
changing or evolving.
I think we tend to maybequestion if it's okay some of
those things.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
And you likely are questioning some of the things
that you have maybe acceptedover time, whether it be
emotionally or physically orspiritually so many different
aspects, but you may be in aplace where you're starting to
question is this really what I'msupposed to be doing?
Is this what it's about?
Am I happy with the decisionsthat I've made?
And if you're not, or you wantto enhance the things that
(03:56):
you're already doing, we want todiscuss some of those things
Because, as you kind of stepinto the next aspects of your
life, there's nothing that sayseverything has to be exactly the
same, and one thing that'simportant to note there, I think
, is all of you may have peoplein your lives that are
comfortable with the way you areor comfortable with the way
(04:20):
they perceive you, and so havingchanges in the way you view
anything, whether it berelationships, whether it be sex
, whether it be intimacy,whatever it is might be
uncomfortable for other people,and that's something that you
have to kind of manage throughas well.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
So just know for future we're going to dive into
some of that.
Can't wait to share more.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I know I can't either , because I think some of it's
going to be rather juicy.
What else?
What are some other things thatencompass spiciness in midlife,
jules maybe don't really know alot about, or what you are
(05:04):
wanting to learn more about issomething that not only just
comes from within your owncuriosity but, also comes from
the things that we're seeing outin the world and what you feel
like.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Maybe you have been missing along the way and I like
what you said about.
I mean, it's the confidencethat comes from within right
it's not about looking likeyou're 25 years old.
Yeah, because, mama, you arenot 25 years old anymore, right.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
And I think looking 25 would be kind of weird.
Anyway, it's counterproductive,yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
We want to look good.
I'm not saying that we don'twant to look good and put
together, but it's theconfidence that's really going
to give you that.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Well, I mean, you can tell, all of you can tell.
When someone walks into a roomwith that level of confidence,
it's in their step.
It's in the way that they, youknow, pay on the room.
It's in the what they'redressed like.
It's the way they carrythemselves.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Can we just talk about the fact that I wore white
go-go-ish type boots to worktoday.
I know you told me that and Ijust didn't even bat an eyelash.
Everybody at work knew that Ibought those for my I just, fyi,
just had a birthday and thetheme was 60s.
So I bought myself some whiteboots that I had worn with the
outfit and both Julie and I werelike I kind of like these,
(06:21):
totally warm to work today.
But it just made me think aboutwhat you were just saying, that
confidence not that I have towear white boots with confidence
.
But I didn't even bat aneyelash.
I walked in, I had my outfit on, I just wore it like without
question and nobody saidanything.
Nobody said, oh my gosh, Ican't believe we were wearing
those, because they knew I wasgetting them for the party,
right, and that it was for asixties theme.
(06:41):
But yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Well, it pretty much goes with half your wardrobe.
But see, I think that's part ofit too.
You just don't give a shit ifother people give a shit, yeah,
and why should you?
And I think that's some of ittoo.
I mean, mine has always beenlike don't show too much
cleavage, try to be a little bitmore modest, because I always
had a larger chest and I stillam kind of like that to some
(07:04):
degree.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Less is more.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Yeah, you don't want everybody to see it.
Why buy the cow when you canhave the milk for free?
I mean you've heard thosethings before, but I'm like I
mean, if you got a good rack andwhat the?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
hell, yeah, it's not.
Yeah did I just say, if youhave a good rack.
Oh my god, I did didn't, uh-huh.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Yeah, maybe I should lower my voice if you, baby got
rack uh-huh, oh, back, we gotboth of that.
Yeah right, we got rack andback, yeah, so sexual confidence
anyways, yeah, and just how youcarry yourself, the importance
of it.
Confidence is spicy, right, it'ssexy, it is sexy.
I think confidence is supersexy and lack of confidence just
(07:41):
makes you kind of turn yourhead.
I mean, when you see it inother men, or if you see men
that aren't confident or you seewomen that aren't confident,
you want to just go give them abig hug.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Kind of along those lines too, is the confidence
that comes with using your brainright and not your body.
We've talked before about toxicfemininity.
Yes, we have.
Right.
So when you're using your bodyto get things and things like
that's a whole other topic.
But you know, when you startwith your brain and using it in
(08:15):
a positive, confident way, thatmakes a difference and it could
be simple little things like howyou choose your words.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
You know, and you know the thoughtfulness you put
into the things that you'resaying, the type of filler words
that you use when you'retalking.
If you use filler words in your, if you're in a more casual
setting, obviously you mightspeak a lot differently than if
you're in a corporate setting.
So, anyway, the other thing toois we all have seen where you
know there are women out therethat really use their sexuality,
(08:46):
their femininity, to garner notonly attention but, you know,
to get things accomplished.
You know, in whatever capacity,and so I just think that is
that's one way I guess peoplecan get things done.
I would prefer for myself,anyway, to be darn cute but also
have a brain and be able tocarry on a conversation.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
the other thing, too, when it comes to sex, so when
we're talking about oursexuality is women and this is
speaking about women, our gender, really it's like we've been in
a place throughout historywhere we have been been a
(09:33):
product of oh, that doesn'tsound right.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
We've been in a place throughout history where
pleasure really has not beensomething that has been a
priority.
Sexually, we have been someoneelse's pleasure or we are put in
place for other people'spleasure.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Well, to give it.
Yeah, to give pleasure and notto receive.
And like and not receive.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
And so how many women out there have never had an?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
orgasm Right, I just didn't.
I've learned that more and moreas I've gotten in years.
I'll say it again that's yeah,that's so sad.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
It's sad, but you know what?
I can totally tell you thatit's not something that I even
was paying attention to, whichkind of goes into a lot of other
topics as well, but you know ithas to do with menopause and
some other stuff too, but it wasand it wasn't like something
that I would look forward toreally, because it wasn't.
It was fun, but it wasn't likeI was looking for it kind of
thing, and I think a lot ofthat's because it didn't.
(10:24):
I was never really put in aposition where I was taught how
to do some of those things.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
No pun intended.
Yeah, put in a position.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I don't know.
Michelle has the whole KamaSutra book, but anyway.
But anyway, you know there's somany different aspects to it
that we don't give ourselvespermission.
For you know and Right, figureout what it is that brings you
pleasure.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Do exploration to figure that out, so that you can
then, if you have a partner,share it with them.
To you know, double thepleasure.
Do you remember that commercialDouble income, self-exploration
, double your pleasure?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
There you go.
Well, you know, doubling yourpleasure is always a good thing,
but that doesn't mean gettinginto a threesome.
But okay, oh, that's when yousaid double your pleasure, I'm
like well, I mean that's notwhat I meant, but I mean it
could mean that for some peopleI suppose but that particular
thing I wasn't, but no, like youknow toys or having you know
fantasies that you pull out andpeople get embarrassed by this
(11:37):
stuff, well, I think it becausea lot of it is so much about
performance and what it lookslike what it?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
is feeling like Right , so being able to go outside of
that and just really explorewith yourself and with each
other.
Anyways, we'll be getting intoit that is spicy too, so that's
more of what makes us spicy,yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
And another category that we will be spending some
time in is having your voice.
And we're not just talkingabout just having like being
outspoken all the time oranything like that.
It's not the way you have yourvoice, it's the fact that you
feel like you can have yourvoice.
So I can think of times in mypast where I would just not say
anything voice.
(12:20):
So I can think of times in mypast where I would just not say
anything because why?
Why get into an argument aboutsomething with an individual who
thought so differently andwasn't open-minded, or what have
you?
It could be any number ofthings, but even having your
voice and we were talking aboutsex and then a minute ago but
even having your voice in thebedroom, sure you know and
saying what you want, what youneed, a lot of people are not
comfortable stop, yeah, fasterup there To the side, a little
(12:44):
to the left, to the left, to theleft.
Okay, but you get her pointright.
Yeah, oh, michelle, uh-huh,uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
And then Just giving tips, oh, tips, just the tip.
There you go.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Anyways, moving on, I said that to my daughter the
other day about somethingcompletely different.
I was like, just the tip.
She's like Mom.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I was like I didn't mean it that way she goes?
Do you know what?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
that means Sure.
I've never heard that before.
For all you ladies out therewho are the women over 40, which
is really who a lot of ouraudience is it's like you have
either started, or you will bestarting to experience symptoms
of hormones.
You know, yeah, hormonesleaving your body.
(13:32):
Or lack of, or lack thereofwhich affects so many different
aspects of you physically.
You know how brain fog or youknow dryness or just libido in
general.
You know your level of patiencewith people.
There's so many differentfactors to it, but understand
that it doesn't define you andthere are ways to handle these
things so you can live your lifein a good way and you don't
(13:56):
have to suffer.
You know through hormones, youknow wreaking havoc on your body
.
And again, another thing thatI'm going to say Michelle, you
are such a biatch that she'snever had a freaking hot flash.
I'm like who is she?
I mean, she has like amazinghormones, I guess.
But I have enough.
I've had enough hot flashes forboth of us I appreciate that
(14:19):
Jules take one for the team.
I've taken several for the teamon that one, but that stuff does
matter.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Yeah, I guess, is the point and being having your
voice, being open to it, again,exploring options on what things
can help or not help.
I think these are a lot ofthings that women in midlife
tend to just have sex eventhough it's not feeling great.
All of those things, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
So and then just like we, were talking about be spicy
.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Ask questions, have a voice, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
And I think too, is being able to educate ourselves.
You know, really talking withother women or I wouldn't say
commiserating, but comparingnotes even you know there's
things that work for certainpeople that don't work for
others, and you know it is aprocess that our bodies are
going to go through and so wemust embrace it really.
I mean it's something that I'mgoing to embrace.
I mean, yes, is my hair gettinga little thinner.
Yes, is my skin changing alittle bit.
I don't have the wholemidsection thing yet, but I
(15:24):
probably will.
I mean, there's just thingsthat you know.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Well, there you go.
It's a trade-off.
I got that.
Enough for you.
You got my hot flashes, I gotyour midsection.
It's all good.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
See what we deal with you guys.
What are some other areas youthink we will be diving into
that will define, kind of giveour audience a better idea of
what it means to be spicy?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
to be spicy.
Well, a lot of this.
It seems like a lot of whatwe're talking about is sexuality
and having to do with ourbodies, but there's so many
areas that affects, like, notjust the sex part, but I was
going to say sensuality as well.
I think that is something to mypoint here.
I think that is something to mypoint here.
It's not just for the bedroom.
Sexuality is not just for thebedroom.
(16:12):
Okay, it's a life force.
You need to reignite it andmove through it, and there's so
many things like art, music,dance, how you dress, the way
you carry yourself, all of thosethings, our expressions of you
Like we were saying ourexpressions of you give you
confidence.
(16:32):
It can be super sexy, you know,engaging in those types of
activities, like I was sayingart, music, dance- I mean, get
me on the dance floor, watch outI know so and that's just.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
You wouldn't even know.
Her knees hurt.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
My knees.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
But it's even little things like taking care of
yourself, with you know.
Really yummy lotions orself-care with you know, taking
hot baths or meditating or allof these things directly impact
our world around us and how weview ourselves, and you know how
we, how the world, views us too, you know.
So I think those are importantthings to note and not apologize
(17:11):
about, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, that's the main thing that you know, part of
what makes a spicy midlife womanis being unapologetically
themselves.
You know we talked about thatand there's so many facets of
that that we are super excitedto bring to this platform and I
(17:33):
think it's what people need tohear.
I think it's what we've learnedabout ourselves as we have gone
through the years.
We get a lot of compliments andsome shit, but that's just the
reminder.
Like okay, I like how I'mliving life.
I don't want to be thestereotypical norm.
That is not me, it doesn't haveto be.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
And really, when you go inward and start asking
yourself a lot of things that wewere just talking about, and if
you're really true to yourself,there's a young lady or a woman
who she, I think she's in her50s that was here for michelle's
party and she had tickets tokendrick lamar and someone else,
(18:15):
who's you know a little older,had said why do you want to see
kendrick?
Kendrick lamar, how old are you, how old are you?
And I'm just like, leave heralone.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
She wants to go see kendrick lamar god, yeah, and
obviously they're not like us.
Yeah, I was like we're not likethem.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
They're not like us.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
But I was really proud of her for going in
because those are exactly thethings, and honestly if that
would not have been an outsideconcert and pouring down rain.
I probably would have tried togo with her.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, and I know who you're talking about and she is
absolutely, 100%,unapologetically, herself, at
all times and if you'relistening, you know I love you
for it.
And, just like I was saying,through music and art especially
, she, you know, is all over it.
She is definitely a spicy,spicy lady.
(19:01):
She is.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
So it's just a term that we kind of came up for
everyone that you know, we, whenwe think about, like how we
want to view the world and howwe choose to walk through it.
Spicy was the word that seemedto resonate with both of us,
because it's hot.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yeah, try and be focusing on for all of you and
bringing you insight into thingsthat are going to be hopefully
enlightening and help you carveyour own path.
If you have any questions aboutwhat you're doing or how you're
(19:38):
doing it, or just anythingreally that is involving your
maturity and growth as a womanwho is, you know, starting to
move on to the next chapter ofher life, and it might you might
be very early into this.
You might be, you know, a 40year old woman who's in the
midst of dealing with kids andcarpooling and you know all that
(20:01):
kind of stuff and starting togo what the hell am I doing?
It's like, what is my?
Is this what my life is?
All those sorts of things aredirectly related to what we're
talking about, because we'vebeen through a lot of these
different cycles.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Cycles scenarios, situations.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
And the other cool thing, Michelle, that I wanted
to make sure we mentioned beforewe sign off on this episode is
that the community that we'replanning to have together, all
of you really?
we want together as a communitywhere we can really bounce a lot
of questions off of each other.
We can, you know, tell ourstories, all of these things.
So that is coming and we arelooking forward to getting that
(20:39):
together for all of you.
In the next couple of weeksWe'll be probably putting some
things together to share withyou, but in the meantime, we
just really wanted to leteveryone know how excited we are
to be here with all of you andprovide a resource that is for
you to be the best version ofyourself.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
And a couple of other things I just want to give
people to think about until theylisten to the next episode, or
just based on what we've talkedabout here today.
Ask yourself some questions,right, and if you, for example,
ask yourself am I really livinglife for myself or just meeting
other people's expectations,right, Going through the motions
(21:19):
?
Going through the motions, oryou know, how can I build
stronger, more meaningfulconnections at this point in my
life?
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Right, yeah, and am I conforming versus being
authentic?
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
And that's not one to be ashamed of, if you feel like
you're conforming.
It's more like you've falleninto a pattern and you are an
authentic person.
It's just maybe not sharing itwith the folks that are around
you, for many different reasons.
So, that just gives you kind ofan idea if you can walk away
from this and ask yourself someof these questions and not
(21:54):
necessarily have answers or wantto hear what other people are
saying or how other people havemanaged to maneuver through
things that you're maybecurrently struggling with or
that you have, you know,embraced and done really well.
These are all things we'll bekind of bringing to the table.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
So if you're asking those questions and you don't
know the answer, or you can'twait to get more, tune in next
time, ladies.
Yes, all right, because we'regoing to bring in.
We'll be bringing you all thedish with all the spice.
(22:36):
Well, until then, we are.
On which socials, michelle, youcan find us out?
On which socials, michelle,stay tuned for being part of a
big community in regard to thisand getting support and
friendship from other women whoare in the same place, so that
we can be stronger together.
That's right.
Until then, though, stay spicy.
(22:58):
Bye, everybody.
See you later.
Well, today you are here with Jules that's me and
Michelle over here, that's me.
Hey everybody, we are your twospicy midlife women from Seattle
Washington and we are here toshare real life stories and have
no BS conversations with you,right, michelle?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Oh, you better believe it.
We're here to help all youmidlife women redefine
relationships, ditch toxiccycles and reclaim your power,
one episode at a time.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
I am really excited to get into this next little
series with you, michelle.
Yeah, so we are here today withepisode two of our rebrand, and
what we really want to talkwith everybody about is what it
means to be a spicy midlifewomen.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah, what is that anyways, right?
Well, you're spicy, and anytimeI tell somebody they ask you
know what's your podcast called?
And I just throw it out there.
Spicy midlife women.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
They're like ooh, they get it, I like that, yeah,
yeah, there's nothing betterthan having that spiciness.
I get you know, as we kind ofare getting on in years, as I've
heard you say before, and itwas funny, like today I was with
a new agent and we were talkingabout, you know, just the
process and the things we'redoing, and I made some mention
(01:21):
about her being less than halfmy age how old are you?
And I told her and she's like,oh my gosh.
Yeah, really you seem so youngand I was like no, that's just
me being really immature.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
From outside stereotypical perceptions.
Yeah, it's you being immature.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Yeah, I'm really not immature, I'm actually very
mature, but I'm kind of goofy,like we were talking about, and
I guess what that really boilsdown to is when we're talking
about being a woman first of all, that is, in this day and age
that we live in right now andyou know having your voice.
That's really kind of whatwe're talking about when we talk
about being spicy.
(01:57):
It's really kind of holdingyour own in the world, that we
live in a lot of different wayswhich we're going to get into
throughout the differentepisodes.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
But I think, too, it's things as we get into this,
because what we want to do hereis give other midlife women an
idea of what we're talking aboutwhen we say spicy midlife women
, and we're going to, in thisepisode, go over some of the key
things that can really helpfuel that fire and to keep it
burning inside of you when itcomes to these things, so things
(02:35):
that are of mindset, body,wisdom, you know, just
experiences and things that youhave, and so we feel like this
is the direction we would liketo share with all of you,
because these are the placesthat we've been in our lives.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
I'm not saying that we have all of the answers by
any stretch, but we certainlyhave a lot of experiences and
things to share and, in doing so, hope that we're able to shed
light on the things that mightbe important in your life, or
the things that you're havingquestions with in your life, for
example desires that you have.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
within A lot of times I think in midlife, especially
earlier on you start to questionif those things are valid and
if it's okay if the things thatyou think about are somewhat
changing or evolving.
I think we tend to maybequestion if it's okay some of
those things.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
And you likely are questioning some of the things
that you have maybe acceptedover time, whether it be
emotionally or physically orspiritually so many different
aspects, but you may be in aplace where you're starting to
question is this really what I'msupposed to be doing?
Is this what it's about?
Am I happy with the decisionsthat I've made?
And if you're not, or you wantto enhance the things that
(03:56):
you're already doing, we want todiscuss some of those things
Because, as you kind of stepinto the next aspects of your
life, there's nothing that sayseverything has to be exactly the
same, and one thing that'simportant to note there, I think
, is all of you may have peoplein your lives that are
comfortable with the way you areor comfortable with the way
(04:20):
they perceive you, and so havingchanges in the way you view
anything, whether it berelationships, whether it be sex
, whether it be intimacy,whatever it is might be
uncomfortable for other people,and that's something that you
have to kind of manage throughas well.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
So just know for future we're going to dive into
some of that.
Can't wait to share more.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I know I can't either , because I think some of it's
going to be rather juicy.
What else?
What are some other things thatencompass spiciness in midlife,
jules maybe don't really know alot about, or what you are
(05:04):
wanting to learn more about issomething that not only just
comes from within your owncuriosity but, also comes from
the things that we're seeing outin the world and what you feel
like.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Maybe you have been missing along the way and I like
what you said about.
I mean, it's the confidencethat comes from within right
it's not about looking likeyou're 25 years old.
Yeah, because, mama, you arenot 25 years old anymore, right.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
And I think looking 25 would be kind of weird.
Anyway, it's counterproductive,yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
We want to look good.
I'm not saying that we don'twant to look good and put
together, but it's theconfidence that's really going
to give you that.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Well, I mean, you can tell, all of you can tell.
When someone walks into a roomwith that level of confidence,
it's in their step.
It's in the way that they, youknow, pay on the room.
It's in the what they'redressed like.
It's the way they carrythemselves.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Can we just talk about the fact that I wore white
go-go-ish type boots to worktoday.
I know you told me that and Ijust didn't even bat an eyelash.
Everybody at work knew that Ibought those for my I just, fyi,
just had a birthday and thetheme was 60s.
So I bought myself some whiteboots that I had worn with the
outfit and both Julie and I werelike I kind of like these,
(06:21):
totally warm to work today.
But it just made me think aboutwhat you were just saying, that
confidence not that I have towear white boots with confidence
.
But I didn't even bat aneyelash.
I walked in, I had my outfit on, I just wore it like without
question and nobody saidanything.
Nobody said, oh my gosh, Ican't believe we were wearing
those, because they knew I wasgetting them for the party,
right, and that it was for asixties theme.
(06:41):
But yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Well, it pretty much goes with half your wardrobe.
But see, I think that's part ofit too.
You just don't give a shit ifother people give a shit, yeah,
and why should you?
And I think that's some of ittoo.
I mean, mine has always beenlike don't show too much
cleavage, try to be a little bitmore modest, because I always
had a larger chest and I stillam kind of like that to some
(07:04):
degree.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Less is more.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Yeah, you don't want everybody to see it.
Why buy the cow when you canhave the milk for free?
I mean you've heard thosethings before, but I'm like I
mean, if you got a good rack andwhat the?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
hell, yeah, it's not.
Yeah did I just say, if youhave a good rack.
Oh my god, I did didn't, uh-huh.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Yeah, maybe I should lower my voice if you, baby got
rack uh-huh, oh, back, we gotboth of that.
Yeah right, we got rack andback, yeah, so sexual confidence
anyways, yeah, and just how youcarry yourself, the importance
of it.
Confidence is spicy, right, it'ssexy, it is sexy.
I think confidence is supersexy and lack of confidence just
(07:41):
makes you kind of turn yourhead.
I mean, when you see it inother men, or if you see men
that aren't confident or you seewomen that aren't confident,
you want to just go give them abig hug.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
Kind of along those lines too, is the confidence
that comes with using your brainright and not your body.
We've talked before about toxicfemininity.
Yes, we have.
Right.
So when you're using your bodyto get things and things like
that's a whole other topic.
But you know, when you startwith your brain and using it in
(08:15):
a positive, confident way, thatmakes a difference and it could
be simple little things like howyou choose your words.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
You know, and you know the thoughtfulness you put
into the things that you'resaying, the type of filler words
that you use when you'retalking.
If you use filler words in your, if you're in a more casual
setting, obviously you mightspeak a lot differently than if
you're in a corporate setting.
So, anyway, the other thing toois we all have seen where you
know there are women out therethat really use their sexuality,
(08:46):
their femininity, to garner notonly attention but, you know,
to get things accomplished.
You know, in whatever capacity,and so I just think that is
that's one way I guess peoplecan get things done.
I would prefer for myself,anyway, to be darn cute but also
have a brain and be able tocarry on a conversation.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
the other thing, too, when it comes to sex, so when
we're talking about oursexuality is women and this is
speaking about women, our gender, really it's like we've been in
a place throughout historywhere we have been been a
(09:33):
product of oh, that doesn'tsound right.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
We've been in a place throughout history where
pleasure really has not beensomething that has been a
priority.
Sexually, we have been someoneelse's pleasure or we are put in
place for other people'spleasure.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Well, to give it.
Yeah, to give pleasure and notto receive.
And like and not receive.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
And so how many women out there have never had an?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
orgasm Right, I just didn't.
I've learned that more and moreas I've gotten in years.
I'll say it again that's yeah,that's so sad.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
It's sad, but you know what?
I can totally tell you thatit's not something that I even
was paying attention to, whichkind of goes into a lot of other
topics as well, but you know ithas to do with menopause and
some other stuff too, but it wasand it wasn't like something
that I would look forward toreally, because it wasn't.
It was fun, but it wasn't likeI was looking for it kind of
thing, and I think a lot ofthat's because it didn't.
(10:24):
I was never really put in aposition where I was taught how
to do some of those things.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
No pun intended.
Yeah, put in a position.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I don't know.
Michelle has the whole KamaSutra book, but anyway.
But anyway, you know there's somany different aspects to it
that we don't give ourselvespermission.
For you know and Right, figureout what it is that brings you
pleasure.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Do exploration to figure that out, so that you can
then, if you have a partner,share it with them.
To you know, double thepleasure.
Do you remember that commercialDouble income, self-exploration
, double your pleasure?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
There you go.
Well, you know, doubling yourpleasure is always a good thing,
but that doesn't mean gettinginto a threesome.
But okay, oh, that's when yousaid double your pleasure, I'm
like well, I mean that's notwhat I meant, but I mean it
could mean that for some peopleI suppose but that particular
thing I wasn't, but no, like youknow toys or having you know
fantasies that you pull out andpeople get embarrassed by this
(11:37):
stuff, well, I think it becausea lot of it is so much about
performance and what it lookslike what it?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
is feeling like Right , so being able to go outside of
that and just really explorewith yourself and with each
other.
Anyways, we'll be getting intoit that is spicy too, so that's
more of what makes us spicy,yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
And another category that we will be spending some
time in is having your voice.
And we're not just talkingabout just having like being
outspoken all the time oranything like that.
It's not the way you have yourvoice, it's the fact that you
feel like you can have yourvoice.
So I can think of times in mypast where I would just not say
anything voice.
(12:20):
So I can think of times in mypast where I would just not say
anything because why?
Why get into an argument aboutsomething with an individual who
thought so differently andwasn't open-minded, or what have
you?
It could be any number ofthings, but even having your
voice and we were talking aboutsex and then a minute ago but
even having your voice in thebedroom, sure you know and
saying what you want, what youneed, a lot of people are not
comfortable stop, yeah, fasterup there To the side, a little
(12:44):
to the left, to the left, to theleft.
Okay, but you get her pointright.
Yeah, oh, michelle, uh-huh,uh-huh.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
And then Just giving tips, oh, tips, just the tip.
There you go.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Anyways, moving on, I said that to my daughter the
other day about somethingcompletely different.
I was like, just the tip.
She's like Mom.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I was like I didn't mean it that way she goes?
Do you know what?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
that means Sure.
I've never heard that before.
For all you ladies out therewho are the women over 40, which
is really who a lot of ouraudience is it's like you have
either started, or you will bestarting to experience symptoms
of hormones.
You know, yeah, hormonesleaving your body.
(13:32):
Or lack of, or lack thereofwhich affects so many different
aspects of you physically.
You know how brain fog or youknow dryness or just libido in
general.
You know your level of patiencewith people.
There's so many differentfactors to it, but understand
that it doesn't define you andthere are ways to handle these
things so you can live your lifein a good way and you don't
(13:56):
have to suffer.
You know through hormones, youknow wreaking havoc on your body
.
And again, another thing thatI'm going to say Michelle, you
are such a biatch that she'snever had a freaking hot flash.
I'm like who is she?
I mean, she has like amazinghormones, I guess.
But I have enough.
I've had enough hot flashes forboth of us I appreciate that
(14:19):
Jules take one for the team.
I've taken several for the teamon that one, but that stuff does
matter.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Yeah, I guess, is the point and being having your
voice, being open to it, again,exploring options on what things
can help or not help.
I think these are a lot ofthings that women in midlife
tend to just have sex eventhough it's not feeling great.
All of those things, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
So and then just like we, were talking about be spicy
.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Ask questions, have a voice, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
And I think too, is being able to educate ourselves.
You know, really talking withother women or I wouldn't say
commiserating, but comparingnotes even you know there's
things that work for certainpeople that don't work for
others, and you know it is aprocess that our bodies are
going to go through and so wemust embrace it really.
I mean it's something that I'mgoing to embrace.
I mean, yes, is my hair gettinga little thinner.
Yes, is my skin changing alittle bit.
I don't have the wholemidsection thing yet, but I
(15:24):
probably will.
I mean, there's just thingsthat you know.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Well, there you go.
It's a trade-off.
I got that.
Enough for you.
You got my hot flashes, I gotyour midsection.
It's all good.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
See what we deal with you guys.
What are some other areas youthink we will be diving into
that will define, kind of giveour audience a better idea of
what it means to be spicy?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
to be spicy.
Well, a lot of this.
It seems like a lot of whatwe're talking about is sexuality
and having to do with ourbodies, but there's so many
areas that affects, like, notjust the sex part, but I was
going to say sensuality as well.
I think that is something to mypoint here.
I think that is something to mypoint here.
It's not just for the bedroom.
Sexuality is not just for thebedroom.
(16:12):
Okay, it's a life force.
You need to reignite it andmove through it, and there's so
many things like art, music,dance, how you dress, the way
you carry yourself, all of thosethings, our expressions of you
Like we were saying ourexpressions of you give you
confidence.
(16:32):
It can be super sexy, you know,engaging in those types of
activities, like I was sayingart, music, dance- I mean, get
me on the dance floor, watch outI know so and that's just.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
You wouldn't even know.
Her knees hurt.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
My knees.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
But it's even little things like taking care of
yourself, with you know.
Really yummy lotions orself-care with you know, taking
hot baths or meditating or allof these things directly impact
our world around us and how weview ourselves, and you know how
we, how the world, views us too, you know.
So I think those are importantthings to note and not apologize
(17:11):
about, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, that's the main thing that you know, part of
what makes a spicy midlife womanis being unapologetically
themselves.
You know we talked about thatand there's so many facets of
that that we are super excitedto bring to this platform and I
(17:33):
think it's what people need tohear.
I think it's what we've learnedabout ourselves as we have gone
through the years.
We get a lot of compliments andsome shit, but that's just the
reminder.
Like okay, I like how I'mliving life.
I don't want to be thestereotypical norm.
That is not me, it doesn't haveto be.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
And really, when you go inward and start asking
yourself a lot of things that wewere just talking about, and if
you're really true to yourself,there's a young lady or a woman
who she, I think she's in her50s that was here for michelle's
party and she had tickets tokendrick lamar and someone else,
(18:15):
who's you know a little older,had said why do you want to see
kendrick?
Kendrick lamar, how old are you, how old are you?
And I'm just like, leave heralone.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
She wants to go see kendrick lamar god, yeah, and
obviously they're not like us.
Yeah, I was like we're not likethem.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
They're not like us.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
But I was really proud of her for going in
because those are exactly thethings, and honestly if that
would not have been an outsideconcert and pouring down rain.
I probably would have tried togo with her.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, and I know who you're talking about and she is
absolutely, 100%,unapologetically, herself, at
all times and if you'relistening, you know I love you
for it.
And, just like I was saying,through music and art especially
, she, you know, is all over it.
She is definitely a spicy,spicy lady.
(19:01):
She is.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
So it's just a term that we kind of came up for
everyone that you know, we, whenwe think about, like how we
want to view the world and howwe choose to walk through it.
Spicy was the word that seemedto resonate with both of us,
because it's hot.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yeah, try and be focusing on for all of you and
bringing you insight into thingsthat are going to be hopefully
enlightening and help you carveyour own path.
If you have any questions aboutwhat you're doing or how you're
(19:38):
doing it, or just anythingreally that is involving your
maturity and growth as a womanwho is, you know, starting to
move on to the next chapter ofher life, and it might you might
be very early into this.
You might be, you know, a 40year old woman who's in the
midst of dealing with kids andcarpooling and you know all that
(20:01):
kind of stuff and starting togo what the hell am I doing?
It's like, what is my?
Is this what my life is?
All those sorts of things aredirectly related to what we're
talking about, because we'vebeen through a lot of these
different cycles.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Cycles scenarios, situations.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
And the other cool thing, Michelle, that I wanted
to make sure we mentioned beforewe sign off on this episode is
that the community that we'replanning to have together, all
of you really?
we want together as a communitywhere we can really bounce a lot
of questions off of each other.
We can, you know, tell ourstories, all of these things.
So that is coming and we arelooking forward to getting that
(20:39):
together for all of you.
In the next couple of weeksWe'll be probably putting some
things together to share withyou, but in the meantime, we
just really wanted to leteveryone know how excited we are
to be here with all of you andprovide a resource that is for
you to be the best version ofyourself.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
And a couple of other things I just want to give
people to think about until theylisten to the next episode, or
just based on what we've talkedabout here today.
Ask yourself some questions,right, and if you, for example,
ask yourself am I really livinglife for myself or just meeting
other people's expectations,right, Going through the motions
(21:19):
?
Going through the motions, oryou know, how can I build
stronger, more meaningfulconnections at this point in my
life?
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Right, yeah, and am I conforming versus being
authentic?
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
And that's not one to be ashamed of, if you feel like
you're conforming.
It's more like you've falleninto a pattern and you are an
authentic person.
It's just maybe not sharing itwith the folks that are around
you, for many different reasons.
So, that just gives you kind ofan idea if you can walk away
from this and ask yourself someof these questions and not
(21:54):
necessarily have answers or wantto hear what other people are
saying or how other people havemanaged to maneuver through
things that you're maybecurrently struggling with or
that you have, you know,embraced and done really well.
These are all things we'll bekind of bringing to the table.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
So if you're asking those questions and you don't
know the answer, or you can'twait to get more, tune in next
time, ladies.
Yes, all right, because we'regoing to bring in.
We'll be bringing you all thedish with all the spice.
(22:36):
Well, until then, we are.
On which socials, michelle, youcan find us out?
On which socials, michelle,stay tuned for being part of a
big community in regard to thisand getting support and
friendship from other women whoare in the same place, so that
we can be stronger together.
That's right.
Until then, though, stay spicy.
(22:58):
Bye, everybody.
See you later.
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