June 23, 2025 • 33 mins
Jules and Michelle are diving into a spicy, no-BS conversation about what it really means to feel sexy in midlife. From dancing in your kitchen to rediscovering lingerie, they break down myths around aging, sensuality, and confidence—with humor, honesty, and real-life stories that will make you laugh and nod along. Whether you’re feeling disconnected or totally in your glow-up era, this episode is here to remind you: desire doesn’t expire.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why society’s message about “aging out of sexy” is a lie—and how to rewrite it
- The surprising confidence boost that comes from lingerie, lipstick, and dancing like nobody’s watching
- How midlife sexiness is more about presence, energy, and self-connection than appearance
- Real talk about body image, menopause, burnout, and barriers that dim your inner spark
- Tips for reconnecting with your body, embracing sensuality, and doing something rebellious today
- A powerful reminder: Your sexiness isn’t behind you—it evolves with you
Are you ready to take your "spiciness" to the next level?!
Connect with Julee & Michele on Instagram @spicy_midlife_women and send a DM about what resonated most during this episode so they can encourage you with steps forward in your own life.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey all you midlife spicy women out there.
It's Jules and Michelle here,two spicy midlife women from the
Emerald City, seattle,washington, sharing our real
life stories and having no BSconversations with all of you
midlife women.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Redefine your relationships, ditch those toxic
cycles and reclaim your power,one episode at a time.
So let's get into this.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes, I'm really excited about this juicy episode
we have coming up.
This one is on embracing yourinner, sexy as a midlife woman.
So this episode I'm reallyexcited about is super juicy.
It's embracing your inner, sexyas a midlife woman, and I don't
know what that's all going toconsist of all the outdated
(00:51):
myths, right.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Because I think there's a lot of stereotypical
things when it comes to age andsex appeal, right, and I'm
excited because we're gonna,let's just like, get into this
when you're in your midlife, itdoesn't mean you're at the end
of sexy at all.
Really, I think it's kind of abeginning to you.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I think, just looking at it from a completely
different perspective, we'reactually just identifying that
you have those sexy traitswithin you.
And I'm kind of chuckling alittle bit about this because I
think I told you my oldest childwhich we haven't gotten into
all of you with all of youlisteners, about our kids yet or
anything like that, but we eachhave them and my oldest is
(01:45):
hilarious and he calls me up andhe was like hey, mom, I saw the
new podcast stuff.
It looks really good, but and Ijust don't know if I'm gonna be
able to listen to you talkingabout sex and I started laughing
cause I'm like that's not allwe're talking about.
I had to kind of explain to himand he goes.
I was kind of wondering I aboutI had to kind of explain to him
and he goes.
I was kind of wondering.
I kept coming back, going.
(02:05):
There's got.
I'm really intrigued by whatthey're going to be talking
about.
He just didn't want to hear metalking about my sex life, which
I totally understand.
So you know anyway.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Honestly, I think that midlife for me anyways and
I think most women don't realizeit but looking back, we're able
.
We're at an age now where wecan look back, that good old
hindsight being 2020.
Really, midlife, you're aboutthat 40-year-old range.
It can be a new, powerfulversion of all of those things,
(02:38):
whether you're feelingdisconnected or you're in like
full bloom right With sex appealand all of that stuff.
If you're feeling disconnected,we're going to talk about some
ways that you can reconnect that, regardless of where you're at
in midlife, and we're talkingabout that sexual, sensual spark
(02:59):
.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
It's not always about sex.
It's really about yoursensualness, the essence of a
woman.
The essence of who you are isall directly related to that in
some capacity.
So I feel like you werementioning something about the
being 40.
And I think back on being 40, Ididn't feel sexy at all when I
(03:19):
was 40.
Neither did I.
I felt like a big frumpy girlwho was just really just trying
to get through the day.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
And.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
I remember I was like not exercise, I wasn't doing
anything really to take care ofmyself, I wasn't sleeping, I
wasn't doing a lot of things,like we talk about now, that I
are really important to me.
They were important to me then,but there were other things
that took precedent and I wasnot able to really manage all of
it at the same time.
So the things that came aboutin regard to my health, in
(03:47):
regard to, you know, just takingcare of me, really kind of went
by the wayside, and so we'rehoping that we can establish
with all of you that's reallynot necessary.
The other thing, too, michelleand I were talking about is that
we didn't really have anybodytalking to us about this stuff.
There were not podcasts.
You know, even 10 years ago youdidn't really see a lot of
(04:08):
these podcasts.
But women talking about thistopic with other women who are
around the same age or in thesame place in their life.
We just didn't have it.
So I just think it's super coolthat we're able to really
convey some of these ideas, youknow, and these thoughts to our
audience, all of you out there,and hopefully be able to give
you some insight on what you cando.
(04:29):
You'll step a little lighter,You'll stand a little taller and
embrace the things that reallyare going to be what makes life
super worthwhile.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
So the first myth that we were kind of talking
about before was the myth ofaging out, of sexy Aging out,
yeah.
So when you think of that term,what does that mean to you?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I mean, it kind of sounds like maybe sexy has an
expiration date or somethingRight, right.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Well, do you think society kind of tells us that
without saying that really?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I think for us, yes, it did and I think in some ways
it still does.
However, I think, having paidattention in recent years, you
know, you hear that, you know 40is the new 20 and 50 is the new
40 and all of that is the new40 and all of that.
(05:28):
So I think it's becoming moreand more spoken about so women
can be more aware of what thatis looking like for them.
But definitely there, I thinkthat's bullshit, right?
I think that's total bullshit.
You don't age out of sexy and Ithink the older for me and I
think the older for me, as Icontinued on in years, the more
confident and sexy I became,100%, you know.
(05:50):
Yet with a lot of things right,we've been talking about a lot
of things lately, which we willshare with all of you at some
point.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
But I 100% agree and I do think that there's a period
of time where, as women andagain you guys a lot of these
things aren't really discussedlike outwardly, you don't hear
about them, you just feel them.
At least that's how I'venoticed it.
But when you become a woman inmidlife, people just expect you
to do things differently.
(06:16):
There's a lot of stereotypesthat correspond with that.
There's a lot of expectations.
There's a lot of things thatpeople will judge you on for
doing them differently than whatthey perceive is the way it's
supposed to be.
So you make the decision onwhat you're doing.
There.
There is no aging out, and whatMichelle was saying earlier you
(06:38):
know about her confidence leveland her feeling of sexiness
today is very different than itwas a couple years ago.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
20 years ago, 30 years ago or whatever.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Yeah, and probably will be in another 20 years you
know, she's still going to be asexy mama when she is 80.
She will Absolutely.
I know, I'm counting on it.
You guys saw the way this girlI mean she's hilarious Really is
like just really the epitome ofspice.
And she's not a spice girl.
(07:07):
But anyway.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Well, I think too, you know it's, when it comes to
sexy and embracing, that it'ssomething that you really have
to.
You have to give yourself alittle time and really kind of
reflect on that, depending onwhere you're at, because what
sexy was at 20 is not what it isnow you know at 40, 50 and
(07:31):
continuing on.
I think earlier on it was moreabout size, shape.
You know all those standardsthat society put on you, or that
we, you know we take all thosein you, or that we allow you
know we take all those in.
And I think, as you get on andmore into midlife, it's all
(07:53):
about energy and the confidence,like I was saying before, and
the connection that you havewithin yourself about those
things right.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I was talking with this person the other day and we
were talking about what isappealing.
You know, he's a man, a manobviously, he's in his 40s and
he I was just asking him it'slike so what is it that just
kind of I don't say turns you on, but really gets you going when
it comes to women around you?
And he was like theirconfidence factory is?
huge a woman who is confidentand knows herself and can carry
(08:21):
herself well.
There's nothing sexier thanthat, yeah, and so that has
nothing to do with makeup, ithas nothing really to do with
your hair.
It has nothing to do with that.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
It's really more about how you your presence you
know, well, and what lights youup as a mid middle aged woman,
right, what makes you feelmagnetic, and you know what is
the definition of those things,right?
So Really knowing that iswhat's going to give you the
(08:50):
confidence.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Right, yeah.
And so, going back to this,ladies, it's defining it for
yourself, because it's going tobe different for you than it is
going to be for your mom or foryour sister, or for your best
friend.
Everybody looks at these thingsdifferently, and how you choose
to show up for yourself in thatregard is really the most
important thing.
So defining that for yourselfis a key thing to do, absolutely
(09:16):
, yeah.
So what would you call yourinner sexy?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
I think some of the things we already pointed out.
But inner sexy for me is moreabout how you're feeling about
it, right?
The ownership of vitality andbeing bold, and the difference
between being sexy for otherpeople and being sexy for
(09:42):
yourself, right?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
so when you think, about that like okay, let's just
you.
Obviously you're in arelationship, so let's talk
about that for a second it'slike how you feel about yourself
and what you do to prepare forwhen you are with your guys.
He all of you that don't knowmichelle, her sweetheart, does
not live.
She's got kind of the perfectscenario for a midlife he's hot
(10:04):
as hell, but he lives in themidwest and she sees him like
every month now, it seems, andthey've been together for like
nine years and so it every dayis a vacation.
Every day is a holiday which isgoing to be really interesting
when you guys are in the sameplace for a long period of time,
but it's like preparing to bein his, you know, in his aura or
his presence or whatever isvery different than what you do
(10:25):
on a day to day, isn't it Sure?
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
She's doing her making sure her legs are shaved.
She's doing her making sure herlegs are shaved.
She's making sure everythingelse is like nicely coiffed.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
She's got everything going Her nails are done and I,
yeah, I mean, and when I dothose things, but you know, the
regular.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
But that's not.
Yeah, I mean, you do a lot ofthat stuff anyway.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
But it's like double triple checking, yeah, making
sure, yeah, we're ticking thoseboxes.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
It would be more for people that are married or in
long-term relationship, likethat, you know, because that's
when it gets a little toughkeeping things kind of sassy.
Yeah, or it can, I can saybecause people get into the
mundane you know stereotypicalmundane day-to-day routines.
(11:24):
Anyway, I'm digressing a littlebit but your inner sexy is
basically you know what youdefine for yourself, like
Michelle was saying, and I thinkone way to determine you know,
especially if you're trying tofigure yourself out and you've
never really had theconversations with yourself
about what your sensuality is,what your sexiness is.
(11:45):
It could just be even you knowsomething so simple as dancing
which you know we love to do.
Oh yeah, I love to dance, youknow, movement of any kind, I
think really helps.
And, like we were talking aboutin one of the other episodes I
was telling you how I was I'vebeen so intrigued by this Salsa
dancing or something right?
(12:06):
Well, it's kind of like salsa,but it's West Coast, it's called
West Coast Swing and whenever Iwould swing, dancing Well when
I think of that, I think ofladies in petticoats and shit
like that.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
You know, that's not what this is at all.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
It can be to like any music, it's very sensual.
Dancing, yeah, and I'm like, ohmy God, I am so intrigued by
that.
Because it's not like you haveto be like in love with your
partner or you have to be.
It's not like.
It's not like that You'redancing with people you don't
even know.
Yeah, from what I can see, butit in you can't really be
(12:36):
inhibited with how you areexpressing yourself through your
movement from what?
I'm noticing.
So I think something like thatwould be amazing to do to really
help discover yourself.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I myself am going to try to find an avenue to do that
to find that just dance all thetime, like in, like, do you
dance in front of the mirror?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I've done that before .
I was just dancing in thekitchen yesterday.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I do that too, Because I love that movement and
I think how you can feel withthat and just being free and
allowing yourself that move tothe music is really soul
fulfilling.
I think we don't really allowourselves to do a lot of that
stuff yeah, it's like that,saying dance like nobody's
watching, right?
Yeah, I mean, and who gives?
Speaker 1 (13:18):
a shit, really.
Yeah, I was thinking about thatlast night because I was in the
kitchen and I was like doingthe dishes and stuff and I'm and
you know there's a windowthat's in the laundry room that
goes outside, and so michellewas out in her hot tent.
She's got this like sauna thingsweat Sweat tent.
Sweat tent and I'm thinkingthat girl is going to come
walking in and see me jammingout here.
I would love it, ed Sheeranprobably come in and join me.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
How could you jam out to Ed Sheeran?
Can we just talk about that fora second?
Well, there's only a couplespecific songs.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
I do love me some Ed Sheeran Just saying
(14:13):
no-transcript got kids and it'slike you're like where would I
do something like that?
Do it in the shower, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Do you got your speaker there in the bathroom?
Listen to your tunes whileyou're taking a shower and do it
there.
Baby, you can do some otherthings too to reconnect with
your body.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Just saying it has to be a waterproof spicy toy More
on that later, because we havesome options for you, anyway but
yeah, so reconnecting with yourbody, so whether that's through
dance, whether that's throughtouch, whether it's through any
of those kinds of things, butgiving yourself permission to do
that and not feeling like, ohmy God, that's so weird.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
That's just feels so uncomfortable, and it probably
does.
If you're kind of notcomfortable with it, here's the
thing.
So let's talk for a minuteabout some of the things that,
come, let me say, inhibit usright From doing some of those
things, from feeling sexy.
What are some of those barriers, do you think?
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Oh, my God, let's start with Especially in midlife
those barriers.
Do you think oh?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
my god, let's start actually in midlife.
The capital m for menopausewell, I mean, that encompasses a
whole, a plethora slew ofthings, right, yeah, yeah, oh,
between that.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Well, we won't have to get into all of that, because
but it's, all real, but it'svery real and, honestly, having
gone through that, I'm stillgoing through.
But having gone through it, Ihad no idea what was happening
to me.
You know why.
I was feeling like I had nolibido.
Why I was feeling like you know, like I just felt icky all the
time.
I just felt icky.
(15:41):
I felt like I was having.
It was just awful and it and,honestly, it's like I probably
would have been better suited togo talk to my doctor about it
sooner.
But really, when I did, allthat she did was like give me a
patch and so anyway.
So menopause is something thatI feel like is, I don't know,
misunderstood by society, yeah,and there's definitely all of
(16:03):
those things that can bebarriers to feeling sexy, the
hormonal things, the body imagethings, the you know some of the
ways you're feeling in regardto your relationships burnout.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I mean, let's get real.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I mean, we're so like you get.
So, guys, when you come homefrom work, are you like, so
exhausted, Like the last thingyou want to do is get nudged in
the back with someone's dick,Like no, I want to go to sleep,
you know.
And then that starts happeningand it's like, or you feel gross
, or you know, it's like I don'tknow.
You're in a place where you'rejust like, just leave me alone.
(16:39):
I don't want you to touch me.
Just leave me alone.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
But if you're, you know, if you're having a dance
party with yourself maybe I'mputting some lingerie on before
you know it can spice up some ofthose things.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
It so it can spice up some of those things it can,
but it does come down to thatbody image and the level of
confidence you have with yourbody.
I mean a lot of you are havingbabies and your bodies are
changing and really it's like wetalk about that being beautiful
.
I look at all my scars.
I mean I have three C-sections.
It's like I've had all thisstuff and it's like those.
(17:11):
I call them battle scars youknow, whether it's stretch marks
or whatever, and it's likethey're battle scars.
It's like we wouldn't have hadthose if we didn't have our kids
, and it's like I wouldn't trademy kids for anything you know.
So those are things that youkind of have to own and it's
part of who you are and it'sokay.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
And you know, if you don't like them, get rid of them
.
But it's like, and that's okaytoo.
No, no, it's like you know thescars.
You have to be superintentional, you know, during
that time, super intentionalabout recognizing those things,
and I think that you really haveto work on going outside of
those, just like we were justtalking about.
When you're reconnecting andbeing in touch with some of the
(17:57):
things that we have beendiscussing, you might find that
it can be a little different.
Right, it can be a littledifferent.
I think, too, that,unfortunately, there's
expectations around us that wewe're not placing them on
ourselves, right.
It's the expectations around usthat you know kind of say that
(18:18):
midlife women need to tone itdown and don't pay any attention
to that.
It's like whatever you'refeeling and how you need to
connect with so that you canfeel good about yourself.
Right, that toning down kind ofcracks me up because it is so
flipping.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
True.
It's kind of like you know youneed to calm down now.
You need to be a little bitmore guarded.
I have heard some of thesethings from people and I'm
looking at them going.
Do you know me?
I mean honestly.
A lot of the things that I havediscovered have been after I
got divorced.
You know there were so manythings that I didn't have a clue
about before, when I wasmarried.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I don't know that it for me when I think about that.
I don't know if it's so muchthat we didn't have a clue about
, but there was so many otherthings that we were focused on.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Well, keeping my head above water and trying to get
through right yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yeah, so.
So that's what.
If there's anything you know wecan talk about here for women
that are going through some ofthose things is, you know,
recognizing where you're at.
And even more so because itreally I didn't have anybody say
you need to pay attention andtake care of yourself.
(19:24):
Michelle, you need to make timefor and some of the things that
we've been discussing.
Right, and it seems difficultto do, but I wish, I really wish
, there would have been somebodyto be able to tell me those
things.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
So I think now, when we start moving into these next
generations, we are going to bethose people for our daughters
and, you know, down the line,because we're talking about
things more than maybe they weretalked about before.
One thing I also wanted to kindof bring up in terms of
barriers to feeling sexy isreally, you know, we've all been
(19:59):
kind of well, I shouldn't sayall I can say.
The vast majority of us in somecapacity have been conditioned,
you know, in regard to shame orguilt, anything to do with
sensuality, like we're whores,we're loose, we're sluts.
You know, if we're even curiousabout things, I know that's how
certainly it was when I wasyounger and even getting into,
(20:20):
you know, my young adult years.
Yeah, it was all very forbidden, not talked about.
Really, you were looked at asloose.
You know, if you were havingconversations with people, my
God, can you imagine what they'dsay about me now?
Oh, I'm just kidding.
Oh, that's funny.
(20:41):
Basic conversation we hadearlier tonight.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Well, and for us, you know, at our age I think we
brought a lot of that into.
You know, from earlier on webrought that into our married
relationship and we continued tohave that.
I mean, I look at it now it'skind of like baggage right.
A little bit and yeah, so Imean the main thing here in
regard to that with sensualityis I kind of like this.
(21:10):
I saw this recently desire,yeah, doesn't expire right.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I think the desire to , or the motivation to express
your desires is something thatpeople hold back on.
They're always going to bethere, but maybe they don't feel
comfortable doing it.
Yeah, and that can be really atany age.
At any age, yeah, and howthey're conditioned, I
absolutely agree.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
And you know what, all you midlife women out there,
it is okay to want attention,you're allowed to want that and
intimacy, and intimacy and thethrill of what comes from those
things right and exploration andasking questions and doing
things maybe you hadn't donebefore because you've always
wanted to try it.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
That sort of yeah, what is that saying?
Confidence is the new cleavage.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Yeah, so let's talk a little bit about reconnecting
with your body.
We did a little bit of thatbefore when we were talking a
minute ago, but one of thethings that I really wanted to
mention besides the movement andthe dance, michelle had
mentioned lingerie, and lingerieis like something that is so
personal really and really doeskind of exhibit your personality
(22:23):
to some degree or whatever itis.
You're trying to convey the moodyou're in, whatever the
situation is that you're in.
It could be you know your Hanes, you know body panties or
whatever your normal like.
If you're going, you know yougo to the, if you're just going
to the gym or you're going to orsomething like that, you know,
but it's like you're going outor you've got a really hot date
or you were doing some reallysomething special with your
(22:45):
person and you know, yourlingerie may kind of speak to
that moment.
Yeah, and going out and shoppingfor that stuff you guys is so
fun, and it's I.
There are so many really prettythings out there that you need
to just look at for yourself.
Don't worry about other people.
Worry about yourself and whatyou want to wear and if it makes
(23:08):
you feel comfortable, Isn't it?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I don't know about you, Jules, but I think for me
it's kind of interesting howwhat you're wearing underneath
your clothes can make you feel,and so I mean, there's a tip
right there.
We were talking about, you know, doing things for yourself that
make you feel confident andsexy.
If you haven't done that withintention, I am challenging you
(23:30):
to try it A matching pantieswith bra or crotchless panties,
depending on the event,depending on what's going on.
But yeah, especially if you'retrying something that you've
never tried before or thatyou've not worn before, and you
put that on and you're liking it, and then you just put your
(23:51):
regular clothing on over it.
It's interesting, I think, howit can just put a pep in your
step for the day.
It's so interesting that yousay that because today is a
great example.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
It's a beautiful day out.
I was going to wear this dressthat I just got, michelle, but I
could not find the straplessbra to go with it.
I really wanted to wear it, butI was like, okay, I need to
find that before I can wear it.
So I flipped outfits and I puton this really pretty sexy.
It's like a I can't remember thename of the brand, it's a
Rihanna, whatever her brand isyeah, black, uh bra with a black
(24:26):
top that has kind of lacysee-through, and my white jeans,
my white denim, like croppedpants with a black Gucci belt
and I had my oh my god, I wasfire, I was feeling so good.
And here's the thing.
I went into my office today,yeah, and you're thinking
see-through top, really, julie.
You went into the office.
It wasn't really see-through,but you know what I mean.
(24:46):
It was like it had the illusionof being see-through, kind of.
Anyway, I go in and I hear thisdamn girl it's like you look
great today.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
I'm like thank you, you know it, you know it's like
inside I'm like I've got myreally cute bra and my matching
panties.
You know, yeah, and if you onlyknew.
If you only knew.
But see, that's the fun secretfor yourself.
That does put that confidenceand pep in your step.
And take it a step further.
Take a picture of your badassself in the full length mirror
(25:16):
in your bedroom.
Yeah Right, take a picture ofyour badass self in the full
length mirror in your bedroom.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, right, throw that shit up on your story and
just I'm telling you it's huge.
Yeah, I love, love, love seeingthat stuff Like when you put it
.
I don't do it that often, butit's like Michelle does that
when she'll put like a reallysweet, you should have seen her
last night.
She's going on this cruise withher sweetie and they're going
to the mediterranean, greekisles or whatever, and she's
gotten some hot outfits, theseadorable outfits, and so she's
(25:43):
trying them on.
She brings up one yesterday.
I'm like damn, it's like he'snot gonna let you go home.
She and it's like, but it'sthings that other people might
not be comfortable because yeahwearing and it's like she can
pull off anything.
I swear that you can pull offanything.
It's so awesome to see.
I'm like I don't know my bellywould show yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
So there's just anyways things, yeah, yeah, you
just got to feel it love it ownit you know and walk like it's
all yours Because it isgirlfriend, I know.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
And then here's another one, and just the lips.
Oh my God, I love a good redlip.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
See, and I struggle with that, maybe this is
something that I need to like.
Step out with.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Well, it's not a bit, you know what.
Okay, so we have a friend who'sin the cosmetic industry and
has taught us every well,michelle knows too.
But all these tricks about howyou keep her lipstick on.
She wears her lipstick and italways looks perfect.
I'm not kidding you.
Like four hours later it stilllooks perfect.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I don't know what she does, but yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
I tried to follow all her steps, did not work.
But anyway, the red lipstick, Iwill wear it on occasion and
usually it makes my skin lookreally kind of not pale but, you
know, kind of like more demurelooking.
You know, yeah, style, yeah,and, and that bright red lip and
I'm just like damn, I love that.
And then you put on yoursunglasses and you're just like
(27:01):
riding in the car and you'rejust like I just feel so good.
Yeah, so it's kind of a funthing to wear.
Last christmas I think it wasmy niece who lives in, she lives
in new york she showed and sheshowed up for christmas and you
know she very conservativehousehold came from.
You know she dressesconservative.
She went to private school alittle bit.
This girl shows up with abright red lip.
(27:23):
I'm like she is coming from newyork.
You can tell stepping out she'sstepping it out and she looked
so good and she was justconfident.
You know, she looked soconfident and so darling and
then she probably doesn't wearit every day, but it was like
very nice touch for that specialoccasion.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
So Love it.
Anyway, just play with thosekinds of things.
Play with those kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Be bold, yeah, you know.
Enjoy those sexy midlifemoments, because you can make
them what you want them to be.
You can have them and feel goodabout them, and you know that
that sensuality bit andself-confidence, all of these
things are going to help you to.
(28:04):
I promise you feel differentlyif you're not feeling those
things.
Some of these things that we'vetalked about will help you to
really understand and feel someof that internal intimacy that
might be missing.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
And if you're already kind of there, we're talking
about a glow up.
Even you know like, do itdifferently, yeah, do it in a
way that you haven't done itbefore.
Maybe, like the lingerie we weretalking about, or the lipstick
or the heels, like, if you'rewearing heels, I mean, some
people don't like to wear heelsanymore.
I love to wear a good pair ofheels.
You know, they just add alittle bit of something to
(28:40):
whatever you're doing and it'snot like you're wearing them for
10 hours or something.
Right, you know, it might bejust for an evening out or
whatever, but bottom line isjust owning whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Yeah, you know yeah.
For sure.
So quick fire truce, michelleWell if we're getting down to it
, sexy doesn't mean that you'reseeking approval right.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Right, because some of these lines and, dare I say,
their wrinkles, they're sexy too, honestly, I kind of feel like
if you don't have any at our ageit's weird, right, like if your
face is so pristine that youhave not one wrinkle you have.
I mean, you look like you're.
You know the five-year-old skin, that's perfect.
It's like that's notnecessarily genuine either.
(29:25):
These are all part of thejourney man.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, that's how I look at it, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
But I mean the other, on the flip side of that.
It's like if you like your skinthat way, then that's okay too.
There's no judgment.
It's kind of like if you wantto use Botox, who cares?
If you want to get your eyesdone, do your eyes, who cares?
But it's like, just own.
Whatever it is that you'redoing, yeah.
Whatever makes you feel aliveand desired, yeah.
And then your sexiness isn'tbehind you.
I think that's a reallyimportant thing to identify.
It's going to look different asyou get older, but maybe it's
in a good way, because you'reunderstanding your body.
You understand your preferences, your needs, your desires, and
(30:05):
you're not afraid of them.
You're not ignoring them orpushing them down or putting
them on the back burner orsaying I don't have time for
that today.
You've got to maybe make sometime and prioritize those things
so you can feel really goodabout what you're doing and
where you're going in midlife.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
It's all part of the journey, yeah, like it evolves
with you.
Yeah, as you forge through.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
So what do we?
What are we thinking that wewant our folks to do here?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
You know I want that listener.
If you're listening to this, Iwant you to really think about
what makes you feel sexy andwhat is going to make you feel
the societal expectations arethat you question, that you want
to rebel against.
Just do it for today.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Okay, so here's one, Do it, Do it.
I'm just thinking about okay sohaving now I don't know how
everybody else is, but havingkids, little kids, who always
busted into my room andeverything I always had like
t-shirt or tank top and shortson and go to sleep in those.
I didn't ever sleep withoutclothes and I do that now on
occasion, but I'm still worriedabout it, yeah, and I was so
(31:28):
worried about someone's name butit's like crawling into bed
next to your person with nothingon.
If you haven't done that before,I would highly suggest it.
Yeah, yeah, and then get alittle spoon action going, and
then you know you never knowwhat will happen after that.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Yeah, if that's spicy and sexy and rebellious.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Just do that, just do it.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Yeah.
So I mean, I think, at the endof the day, we just really want
you guys to embrace all of thesethings and get excited about
what's ahead of you or what youcan enhance that you're already
doing so yeah, the intersexy ofa midlife woman desire does not
(32:05):
expire.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
That's right.
Remember that.
And just wanna make sure beforewe round this up, jules, let
all our listeners know that weare out on the socials.
You can find Spicy MidlifeWomen podcast on Instagram.
Follow us, give us a share,like all of those things we're
on Instagram, facebook.
(32:26):
You can even find us on TikTokand YouTube you so choose to,
and you can listen to ourpodcast on whatever podcast
platform is your favorite.
You will find Spicy MidlifeWomen there, yeah and definitely
share with your spicy friends.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Yeah, because we would love to start getting our
community going.
Yes, you know we're pretty newon this new journey with the
direction that we're going, andwe're really excited about just
getting women together and kindof embracing, you know, the fun
stuff that's ahead of us.
So I think, with that in mind,just remember to stay spicy,
stay sexy and don't let anybodydim your damn light, you know,
(33:05):
because it needs to be shiningbright.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Keep shining, sister.
That's right Until next time.
Have a good one, you guys, andstay spicy Bye.
Hey all you midlife spicy women out there.
It's Jules and Michelle here,two spicy midlife women from the
Emerald City, seattle,washington, sharing our real
life stories and having no BSconversations with all of you
midlife women.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Redefine your relationships, ditch those toxic
cycles and reclaim your power,one episode at a time.
So let's get into this.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes, I'm really excited about this juicy episode
we have coming up.
This one is on embracing yourinner, sexy as a midlife woman.
So this episode I'm reallyexcited about is super juicy.
It's embracing your inner, sexyas a midlife woman, and I don't
know what that's all going toconsist of all the outdated
(00:51):
myths, right.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Because I think there's a lot of stereotypical
things when it comes to age andsex appeal, right, and I'm
excited because we're gonna,let's just like, get into this
when you're in your midlife, itdoesn't mean you're at the end
of sexy at all.
Really, I think it's kind of abeginning to you.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I think, just looking at it from a completely
different perspective, we'reactually just identifying that
you have those sexy traitswithin you.
And I'm kind of chuckling alittle bit about this because I
think I told you my oldest childwhich we haven't gotten into
all of you with all of youlisteners, about our kids yet or
anything like that, but we eachhave them and my oldest is
(01:45):
hilarious and he calls me up andhe was like hey, mom, I saw the
new podcast stuff.
It looks really good, but and Ijust don't know if I'm gonna be
able to listen to you talkingabout sex and I started laughing
cause I'm like that's not allwe're talking about.
I had to kind of explain to himand he goes.
I was kind of wondering I aboutI had to kind of explain to him
and he goes.
I was kind of wondering.
I kept coming back, going.
(02:05):
There's got.
I'm really intrigued by whatthey're going to be talking
about.
He just didn't want to hear metalking about my sex life, which
I totally understand.
So you know anyway.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Honestly, I think that midlife for me anyways and
I think most women don't realizeit but looking back, we're able
.
We're at an age now where wecan look back, that good old
hindsight being 2020.
Really, midlife, you're aboutthat 40-year-old range.
It can be a new, powerfulversion of all of those things,
(02:38):
whether you're feelingdisconnected or you're in like
full bloom right With sex appealand all of that stuff.
If you're feeling disconnected,we're going to talk about some
ways that you can reconnect that, regardless of where you're at
in midlife, and we're talkingabout that sexual, sensual spark
(02:59):
.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
It's not always about sex.
It's really about yoursensualness, the essence of a
woman.
The essence of who you are isall directly related to that in
some capacity.
So I feel like you werementioning something about the
being 40.
And I think back on being 40, Ididn't feel sexy at all when I
(03:19):
was 40.
Neither did I.
I felt like a big frumpy girlwho was just really just trying
to get through the day.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
And.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
I remember I was like not exercise, I wasn't doing
anything really to take care ofmyself, I wasn't sleeping, I
wasn't doing a lot of things,like we talk about now, that I
are really important to me.
They were important to me then,but there were other things
that took precedent and I wasnot able to really manage all of
it at the same time.
So the things that came aboutin regard to my health, in
(03:47):
regard to, you know, just takingcare of me, really kind of went
by the wayside, and so we'rehoping that we can establish
with all of you that's reallynot necessary.
The other thing, too, michelleand I were talking about is that
we didn't really have anybodytalking to us about this stuff.
There were not podcasts.
You know, even 10 years ago youdidn't really see a lot of
(04:08):
these podcasts.
But women talking about thistopic with other women who are
around the same age or in thesame place in their life.
We just didn't have it.
So I just think it's super coolthat we're able to really
convey some of these ideas, youknow, and these thoughts to our
audience, all of you out there,and hopefully be able to give
you some insight on what you cando.
(04:29):
You'll step a little lighter,You'll stand a little taller and
embrace the things that reallyare going to be what makes life
super worthwhile.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
So the first myth that we were kind of talking
about before was the myth ofaging out, of sexy Aging out,
yeah.
So when you think of that term,what does that mean to you?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I mean, it kind of sounds like maybe sexy has an
expiration date or somethingRight, right.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Well, do you think society kind of tells us that
without saying that really?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
I think for us, yes, it did and I think in some ways
it still does.
However, I think, having paidattention in recent years, you
know, you hear that, you know 40is the new 20 and 50 is the new
40 and all of that is the new40 and all of that.
(05:28):
So I think it's becoming moreand more spoken about so women
can be more aware of what thatis looking like for them.
But definitely there, I thinkthat's bullshit, right?
I think that's total bullshit.
You don't age out of sexy and Ithink the older for me and I
think the older for me, as Icontinued on in years, the more
confident and sexy I became,100%, you know.
(05:50):
Yet with a lot of things right,we've been talking about a lot
of things lately, which we willshare with all of you at some
point.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
But I 100% agree and I do think that there's a period
of time where, as women andagain you guys a lot of these
things aren't really discussedlike outwardly, you don't hear
about them, you just feel them.
At least that's how I'venoticed it.
But when you become a woman inmidlife, people just expect you
to do things differently.
(06:16):
There's a lot of stereotypesthat correspond with that.
There's a lot of expectations.
There's a lot of things thatpeople will judge you on for
doing them differently than whatthey perceive is the way it's
supposed to be.
So you make the decision onwhat you're doing.
There.
There is no aging out, and whatMichelle was saying earlier you
(06:38):
know about her confidence leveland her feeling of sexiness
today is very different than itwas a couple years ago.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
20 years ago, 30 years ago or whatever.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Yeah, and probably will be in another 20 years you
know, she's still going to be asexy mama when she is 80.
She will Absolutely.
I know, I'm counting on it.
You guys saw the way this girlI mean she's hilarious Really is
like just really the epitome ofspice.
And she's not a spice girl.
(07:07):
But anyway.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Well, I think too, you know it's, when it comes to
sexy and embracing, that it'ssomething that you really have
to.
You have to give yourself alittle time and really kind of
reflect on that, depending onwhere you're at, because what
sexy was at 20 is not what it isnow you know at 40, 50 and
(07:31):
continuing on.
I think earlier on it was moreabout size, shape.
You know all those standardsthat society put on you, or that
we, you know we take all thosein you, or that we allow you
know we take all those in.
And I think, as you get on andmore into midlife, it's all
(07:53):
about energy and the confidence,like I was saying before, and
the connection that you havewithin yourself about those
things right.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I was talking with this person the other day and we
were talking about what isappealing.
You know, he's a man, a manobviously, he's in his 40s and
he I was just asking him it'slike so what is it that just
kind of I don't say turns you on, but really gets you going when
it comes to women around you?
And he was like theirconfidence factory is?
huge a woman who is confidentand knows herself and can carry
(08:21):
herself well.
There's nothing sexier thanthat, yeah, and so that has
nothing to do with makeup, ithas nothing really to do with
your hair.
It has nothing to do with that.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
It's really more about how you your presence you
know, well, and what lights youup as a mid middle aged woman,
right, what makes you feelmagnetic, and you know what is
the definition of those things,right?
So Really knowing that iswhat's going to give you the
(08:50):
confidence.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Right, yeah.
And so, going back to this,ladies, it's defining it for
yourself, because it's going tobe different for you than it is
going to be for your mom or foryour sister, or for your best
friend.
Everybody looks at these thingsdifferently, and how you choose
to show up for yourself in thatregard is really the most
important thing.
So defining that for yourselfis a key thing to do, absolutely
(09:16):
, yeah.
So what would you call yourinner sexy?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
I think some of the things we already pointed out.
But inner sexy for me is moreabout how you're feeling about
it, right?
The ownership of vitality andbeing bold, and the difference
between being sexy for otherpeople and being sexy for
(09:42):
yourself, right?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
so when you think, about that like okay, let's just
you.
Obviously you're in arelationship, so let's talk
about that for a second it'slike how you feel about yourself
and what you do to prepare forwhen you are with your guys.
He all of you that don't knowmichelle, her sweetheart, does
not live.
She's got kind of the perfectscenario for a midlife he's hot
(10:04):
as hell, but he lives in themidwest and she sees him like
every month now, it seems, andthey've been together for like
nine years and so it every dayis a vacation.
Every day is a holiday which isgoing to be really interesting
when you guys are in the sameplace for a long period of time,
but it's like preparing to bein his, you know, in his aura or
his presence or whatever isvery different than what you do
(10:25):
on a day to day, isn't it Sure?
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
She's doing her making sure her legs are shaved.
She's doing her making sure herlegs are shaved.
She's making sure everythingelse is like nicely coiffed.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
She's got everything going Her nails are done and I,
yeah, I mean, and when I dothose things, but you know, the
regular.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
But that's not.
Yeah, I mean, you do a lot ofthat stuff anyway.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
But it's like double triple checking, yeah, making
sure, yeah, we're ticking thoseboxes.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
It would be more for people that are married or in
long-term relationship, likethat, you know, because that's
when it gets a little toughkeeping things kind of sassy.
Yeah, or it can, I can saybecause people get into the
mundane you know stereotypicalmundane day-to-day routines.
(11:24):
Anyway, I'm digressing a littlebit but your inner sexy is
basically you know what youdefine for yourself, like
Michelle was saying, and I thinkone way to determine you know,
especially if you're trying tofigure yourself out and you've
never really had theconversations with yourself
about what your sensuality is,what your sexiness is.
(11:45):
It could just be even you knowsomething so simple as dancing
which you know we love to do.
Oh yeah, I love to dance, youknow, movement of any kind, I
think really helps.
And, like we were talking aboutin one of the other episodes I
was telling you how I was I'vebeen so intrigued by this Salsa
dancing or something right?
(12:06):
Well, it's kind of like salsa,but it's West Coast, it's called
West Coast Swing and whenever Iwould swing, dancing Well when
I think of that, I think ofladies in petticoats and shit
like that.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
You know, that's not what this is at all.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
It can be to like any music, it's very sensual.
Dancing, yeah, and I'm like, ohmy God, I am so intrigued by
that.
Because it's not like you haveto be like in love with your
partner or you have to be.
It's not like.
It's not like that You'redancing with people you don't
even know.
Yeah, from what I can see, butit in you can't really be
(12:36):
inhibited with how you areexpressing yourself through your
movement from what?
I'm noticing.
So I think something like thatwould be amazing to do to really
help discover yourself.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I myself am going to try to find an avenue to do that
to find that just dance all thetime, like in, like, do you
dance in front of the mirror?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
I've done that before .
I was just dancing in thekitchen yesterday.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I do that too, Because I love that movement and
I think how you can feel withthat and just being free and
allowing yourself that move tothe music is really soul
fulfilling.
I think we don't really allowourselves to do a lot of that
stuff yeah, it's like that,saying dance like nobody's
watching, right?
Yeah, I mean, and who gives?
Speaker 1 (13:18):
a shit, really.
Yeah, I was thinking about thatlast night because I was in the
kitchen and I was like doingthe dishes and stuff and I'm and
you know there's a windowthat's in the laundry room that
goes outside, and so michellewas out in her hot tent.
She's got this like sauna thingsweat Sweat tent.
Sweat tent and I'm thinkingthat girl is going to come
walking in and see me jammingout here.
I would love it, ed Sheeranprobably come in and join me.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
How could you jam out to Ed Sheeran?
Can we just talk about that fora second?
Well, there's only a couplespecific songs.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
I do love me some Ed Sheeran Just saying
(14:13):
no-transcript got kids and it'slike you're like where would I
do something like that?
Do it in the shower, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Do you got your speaker there in the bathroom?
Listen to your tunes whileyou're taking a shower and do it
there.
Baby, you can do some otherthings too to reconnect with
your body.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Just saying it has to be a waterproof spicy toy More
on that later, because we havesome options for you, anyway but
yeah, so reconnecting with yourbody, so whether that's through
dance, whether that's throughtouch, whether it's through any
of those kinds of things, butgiving yourself permission to do
that and not feeling like, ohmy God, that's so weird.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
That's just feels so uncomfortable, and it probably
does.
If you're kind of notcomfortable with it, here's the
thing.
So let's talk for a minuteabout some of the things that,
come, let me say, inhibit usright From doing some of those
things, from feeling sexy.
What are some of those barriers, do you think?
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Oh, my God, let's start with Especially in midlife
those barriers.
Do you think oh?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
my god, let's start actually in midlife.
The capital m for menopausewell, I mean, that encompasses a
whole, a plethora slew ofthings, right, yeah, yeah, oh,
between that.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Well, we won't have to get into all of that, because
but it's, all real, but it'svery real and, honestly, having
gone through that, I'm stillgoing through.
But having gone through it, Ihad no idea what was happening
to me.
You know why.
I was feeling like I had nolibido.
Why I was feeling like you know, like I just felt icky all the
time.
I just felt icky.
(15:41):
I felt like I was having.
It was just awful and it and,honestly, it's like I probably
would have been better suited togo talk to my doctor about it
sooner.
But really, when I did, allthat she did was like give me a
patch and so anyway.
So menopause is something thatI feel like is, I don't know,
misunderstood by society, yeah,and there's definitely all of
(16:03):
those things that can bebarriers to feeling sexy, the
hormonal things, the body imagethings, the you know some of the
ways you're feeling in regardto your relationships burnout.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I mean, let's get real.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
I mean, we're so like you get.
So, guys, when you come homefrom work, are you like, so
exhausted, Like the last thingyou want to do is get nudged in
the back with someone's dick,Like no, I want to go to sleep,
you know.
And then that starts happeningand it's like, or you feel gross
, or you know, it's like I don'tknow.
You're in a place where you'rejust like, just leave me alone.
(16:39):
I don't want you to touch me.
Just leave me alone.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
But if you're, you know, if you're having a dance
party with yourself maybe I'mputting some lingerie on before
you know it can spice up some ofthose things.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
It so it can spice up some of those things it can,
but it does come down to thatbody image and the level of
confidence you have with yourbody.
I mean a lot of you are havingbabies and your bodies are
changing and really it's like wetalk about that being beautiful
.
I look at all my scars.
I mean I have three C-sections.
It's like I've had all thisstuff and it's like those.
(17:11):
I call them battle scars youknow, whether it's stretch marks
or whatever, and it's likethey're battle scars.
It's like we wouldn't have hadthose if we didn't have our kids
, and it's like I wouldn't trademy kids for anything you know.
So those are things that youkind of have to own and it's
part of who you are and it'sokay.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
And you know, if you don't like them, get rid of them
.
But it's like, and that's okaytoo.
No, no, it's like you know thescars.
You have to be superintentional, you know, during
that time, super intentionalabout recognizing those things,
and I think that you really haveto work on going outside of
those, just like we were justtalking about.
When you're reconnecting andbeing in touch with some of the
(17:57):
things that we have beendiscussing, you might find that
it can be a little different.
Right, it can be a littledifferent.
I think, too, that,unfortunately, there's
expectations around us that wewe're not placing them on
ourselves, right.
It's the expectations around usthat you know kind of say that
(18:18):
midlife women need to tone itdown and don't pay any attention
to that.
It's like whatever you'refeeling and how you need to
connect with so that you canfeel good about yourself.
Right, that toning down kind ofcracks me up because it is so
flipping.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
True.
It's kind of like you know youneed to calm down now.
You need to be a little bitmore guarded.
I have heard some of thesethings from people and I'm
looking at them going.
Do you know me?
I mean honestly.
A lot of the things that I havediscovered have been after I
got divorced.
You know there were so manythings that I didn't have a clue
about before, when I wasmarried.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
I don't know that it for me when I think about that.
I don't know if it's so muchthat we didn't have a clue about
, but there was so many otherthings that we were focused on.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Well, keeping my head above water and trying to get
through right yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yeah, so.
So that's what.
If there's anything you know wecan talk about here for women
that are going through some ofthose things is, you know,
recognizing where you're at.
And even more so because itreally I didn't have anybody say
you need to pay attention andtake care of yourself.
(19:24):
Michelle, you need to make timefor and some of the things that
we've been discussing.
Right, and it seems difficultto do, but I wish, I really wish
, there would have been somebodyto be able to tell me those
things.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
So I think now, when we start moving into these next
generations, we are going to bethose people for our daughters
and, you know, down the line,because we're talking about
things more than maybe they weretalked about before.
One thing I also wanted to kindof bring up in terms of
barriers to feeling sexy isreally, you know, we've all been
(19:59):
kind of well, I shouldn't sayall I can say.
The vast majority of us in somecapacity have been conditioned,
you know, in regard to shame orguilt, anything to do with
sensuality, like we're whores,we're loose, we're sluts.
You know, if we're even curiousabout things, I know that's how
certainly it was when I wasyounger and even getting into,
(20:20):
you know, my young adult years.
Yeah, it was all very forbidden, not talked about.
Really, you were looked at asloose.
You know, if you were havingconversations with people, my
God, can you imagine what they'dsay about me now?
Oh, I'm just kidding.
Oh, that's funny.
(20:41):
Basic conversation we hadearlier tonight.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Well, and for us, you know, at our age I think we
brought a lot of that into.
You know, from earlier on webrought that into our married
relationship and we continued tohave that.
I mean, I look at it now it'skind of like baggage right.
A little bit and yeah, so Imean the main thing here in
regard to that with sensualityis I kind of like this.
(21:10):
I saw this recently desire,yeah, doesn't expire right.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
I think the desire to , or the motivation to express
your desires is something thatpeople hold back on.
They're always going to bethere, but maybe they don't feel
comfortable doing it.
Yeah, and that can be really atany age.
At any age, yeah, and howthey're conditioned, I
absolutely agree.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
And you know what, all you midlife women out there,
it is okay to want attention,you're allowed to want that and
intimacy, and intimacy and thethrill of what comes from those
things right and exploration andasking questions and doing
things maybe you hadn't donebefore because you've always
wanted to try it.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
That sort of yeah, what is that saying?
Confidence is the new cleavage.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
That's a good one.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Yeah, so let's talk a little bit about reconnecting
with your body.
We did a little bit of thatbefore when we were talking a
minute ago, but one of thethings that I really wanted to
mention besides the movement andthe dance, michelle had
mentioned lingerie, and lingerieis like something that is so
personal really and really doeskind of exhibit your personality
(22:23):
to some degree or whatever itis.
You're trying to convey the moodyou're in, whatever the
situation is that you're in.
It could be you know your Hanes, you know body panties or
whatever your normal like.
If you're going, you know yougo to the, if you're just going
to the gym or you're going to orsomething like that, you know,
but it's like you're going outor you've got a really hot date
or you were doing some reallysomething special with your
(22:45):
person and you know, yourlingerie may kind of speak to
that moment.
Yeah, and going out and shoppingfor that stuff you guys is so
fun, and it's I.
There are so many really prettythings out there that you need
to just look at for yourself.
Don't worry about other people.
Worry about yourself and whatyou want to wear and if it makes
(23:08):
you feel comfortable, Isn't it?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I don't know about you, Jules, but I think for me
it's kind of interesting howwhat you're wearing underneath
your clothes can make you feel,and so I mean, there's a tip
right there.
We were talking about, you know, doing things for yourself that
make you feel confident andsexy.
If you haven't done that withintention, I am challenging you
(23:30):
to try it A matching pantieswith bra or crotchless panties,
depending on the event,depending on what's going on.
But yeah, especially if you'retrying something that you've
never tried before or thatyou've not worn before, and you
put that on and you're liking it, and then you just put your
(23:51):
regular clothing on over it.
It's interesting, I think, howit can just put a pep in your
step for the day.
It's so interesting that yousay that because today is a
great example.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
It's a beautiful day out.
I was going to wear this dressthat I just got, michelle, but I
could not find the straplessbra to go with it.
I really wanted to wear it, butI was like, okay, I need to
find that before I can wear it.
So I flipped outfits and I puton this really pretty sexy.
It's like a I can't remember thename of the brand, it's a
Rihanna, whatever her brand isyeah, black, uh bra with a black
(24:26):
top that has kind of lacysee-through, and my white jeans,
my white denim, like croppedpants with a black Gucci belt
and I had my oh my god, I wasfire, I was feeling so good.
And here's the thing.
I went into my office today,yeah, and you're thinking
see-through top, really, julie.
You went into the office.
It wasn't really see-through,but you know what I mean.
(24:46):
It was like it had the illusionof being see-through, kind of.
Anyway, I go in and I hear thisdamn girl it's like you look
great today.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
I'm like thank you, you know it, you know it's like
inside I'm like I've got myreally cute bra and my matching
panties.
You know, yeah, and if you onlyknew.
If you only knew.
But see, that's the fun secretfor yourself.
That does put that confidenceand pep in your step.
And take it a step further.
Take a picture of your badassself in the full length mirror
(25:16):
in your bedroom.
Yeah Right, take a picture ofyour badass self in the full
length mirror in your bedroom.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, right, throw that shit up on your story and
just I'm telling you it's huge.
Yeah, I love, love, love seeingthat stuff Like when you put it
.
I don't do it that often, butit's like Michelle does that
when she'll put like a reallysweet, you should have seen her
last night.
She's going on this cruise withher sweetie and they're going
to the mediterranean, greekisles or whatever, and she's
gotten some hot outfits, theseadorable outfits, and so she's
(25:43):
trying them on.
She brings up one yesterday.
I'm like damn, it's like he'snot gonna let you go home.
She and it's like, but it'sthings that other people might
not be comfortable because yeahwearing and it's like she can
pull off anything.
I swear that you can pull offanything.
It's so awesome to see.
I'm like I don't know my bellywould show yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
So there's just anyways things, yeah, yeah, you
just got to feel it love it ownit you know and walk like it's
all yours Because it isgirlfriend, I know.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
And then here's another one, and just the lips.
Oh my God, I love a good redlip.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
See, and I struggle with that, maybe this is
something that I need to like.
Step out with.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Well, it's not a bit, you know what.
Okay, so we have a friend who'sin the cosmetic industry and
has taught us every well,michelle knows too.
But all these tricks about howyou keep her lipstick on.
She wears her lipstick and italways looks perfect.
I'm not kidding you.
Like four hours later it stilllooks perfect.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
I don't know what she does, but yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
I tried to follow all her steps, did not work.
But anyway, the red lipstick, Iwill wear it on occasion and
usually it makes my skin lookreally kind of not pale but, you
know, kind of like more demurelooking.
You know, yeah, style, yeah,and, and that bright red lip and
I'm just like damn, I love that.
And then you put on yoursunglasses and you're just like
(27:01):
riding in the car and you'rejust like I just feel so good.
Yeah, so it's kind of a funthing to wear.
Last christmas I think it wasmy niece who lives in, she lives
in new york she showed and sheshowed up for christmas and you
know she very conservativehousehold came from.
You know she dressesconservative.
She went to private school alittle bit.
This girl shows up with abright red lip.
(27:23):
I'm like she is coming from newyork.
You can tell stepping out she'sstepping it out and she looked
so good and she was justconfident.
You know, she looked soconfident and so darling and
then she probably doesn't wearit every day, but it was like
very nice touch for that specialoccasion.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
So Love it.
Anyway, just play with thosekinds of things.
Play with those kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
Be bold, yeah, you know.
Enjoy those sexy midlifemoments, because you can make
them what you want them to be.
You can have them and feel goodabout them, and you know that
that sensuality bit andself-confidence, all of these
things are going to help you to.
(28:04):
I promise you feel differentlyif you're not feeling those
things.
Some of these things that we'vetalked about will help you to
really understand and feel someof that internal intimacy that
might be missing.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
And if you're already kind of there, we're talking
about a glow up.
Even you know like, do itdifferently, yeah, do it in a
way that you haven't done itbefore.
Maybe, like the lingerie we weretalking about, or the lipstick
or the heels, like, if you'rewearing heels, I mean, some
people don't like to wear heelsanymore.
I love to wear a good pair ofheels.
You know, they just add alittle bit of something to
(28:40):
whatever you're doing and it'snot like you're wearing them for
10 hours or something.
Right, you know, it might bejust for an evening out or
whatever, but bottom line isjust owning whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Yeah, you know yeah.
For sure.
So quick fire truce, michelleWell if we're getting down to it
, sexy doesn't mean that you'reseeking approval right.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Right, because some of these lines and, dare I say,
their wrinkles, they're sexy too, honestly, I kind of feel like
if you don't have any at our ageit's weird, right, like if your
face is so pristine that youhave not one wrinkle you have.
I mean, you look like you're.
You know the five-year-old skin, that's perfect.
It's like that's notnecessarily genuine either.
(29:25):
These are all part of thejourney man.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, that's how I look at it, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
But I mean the other, on the flip side of that.
It's like if you like your skinthat way, then that's okay too.
There's no judgment.
It's kind of like if you wantto use Botox, who cares?
If you want to get your eyesdone, do your eyes, who cares?
But it's like, just own.
Whatever it is that you'redoing, yeah.
Whatever makes you feel aliveand desired, yeah.
And then your sexiness isn'tbehind you.
I think that's a reallyimportant thing to identify.
It's going to look different asyou get older, but maybe it's
in a good way, because you'reunderstanding your body.
You understand your preferences, your needs, your desires, and
(30:05):
you're not afraid of them.
You're not ignoring them orpushing them down or putting
them on the back burner orsaying I don't have time for
that today.
You've got to maybe make sometime and prioritize those things
so you can feel really goodabout what you're doing and
where you're going in midlife.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
It's all part of the journey, yeah, like it evolves
with you.
Yeah, as you forge through.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
So what do we?
What are we thinking that wewant our folks to do here?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
You know I want that listener.
If you're listening to this, Iwant you to really think about
what makes you feel sexy andwhat is going to make you feel
the societal expectations arethat you question, that you want
to rebel against.
Just do it for today.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Okay, so here's one, Do it, Do it.
I'm just thinking about okay sohaving now I don't know how
everybody else is, but havingkids, little kids, who always
busted into my room andeverything I always had like
t-shirt or tank top and shortson and go to sleep in those.
I didn't ever sleep withoutclothes and I do that now on
occasion, but I'm still worriedabout it, yeah, and I was so
(31:28):
worried about someone's name butit's like crawling into bed
next to your person with nothingon.
If you haven't done that before,I would highly suggest it.
Yeah, yeah, and then get alittle spoon action going, and
then you know you never knowwhat will happen after that.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Yeah, if that's spicy and sexy and rebellious.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Just do that, just do it.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Yeah.
So I mean, I think, at the endof the day, we just really want
you guys to embrace all of thesethings and get excited about
what's ahead of you or what youcan enhance that you're already
doing so yeah, the intersexy ofa midlife woman desire does not
(32:05):
expire.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
That's right.
Remember that.
And just wanna make sure beforewe round this up, jules, let
all our listeners know that weare out on the socials.
You can find Spicy MidlifeWomen podcast on Instagram.
Follow us, give us a share,like all of those things we're
on Instagram, facebook.
(32:26):
You can even find us on TikTokand YouTube you so choose to,
and you can listen to ourpodcast on whatever podcast
platform is your favorite.
You will find Spicy MidlifeWomen there, yeah and definitely
share with your spicy friends.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Yeah, because we would love to start getting our
community going.
Yes, you know we're pretty newon this new journey with the
direction that we're going, andwe're really excited about just
getting women together and kindof embracing, you know, the fun
stuff that's ahead of us.
So I think, with that in mind,just remember to stay spicy,
stay sexy and don't let anybodydim your damn light, you know,
(33:05):
because it needs to be shiningbright.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Keep shining, sister.
That's right Until next time.
Have a good one, you guys, andstay spicy Bye.
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