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September 1, 2023 28 mins

This week we are excited to take you through the art of cultivating a positive body image. We’ll be focusing on the power and value of your body, rather than its appearance. We'll guide you on how to incorporate empowering affirmations into your day-to-day life and how enjoyable exercise can be a powerful tool for healthier body image goals. And here's the juicy bit! We'll be discussing how to rebuild your relationship with your body, cut out negative messages, and find activities that truly nourish you. We'll even throw in some body-positive literature and song recommendations to inspire you.  Let's all journey towards self-love and acceptance together!
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BODY POSITIVE READING LIST:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/eating-disorders-news/201110/body-image-books-can-help-here-are-our-favorites

BODY POSITIVE SONGS:
https://www.billboard.com/culture/pride/body-positive-musicians-list-8099201/
**********************

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes only and does not replace the advice you may be receiving from a licensed therapist.This podcast and website represents the opinions of KathyDan Moore, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Grief Coach Jess Lowe, and their guests to the show and website. The content here should not be taken as medical advice.
The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions.Views and opinions expressed in the podcast and website are our own. While we make every effort to ensure that the information we are sharing is accurate, we welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors.
Privacy is of utmost importance to us. All people, places, and scenarios mentioned in the podcast have been changed to protect patient confidentiality.This website or podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony. 
No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast or website.In no way does listening, reading, emailing or interacting on social media with our content establish a doctor-patient relationship.
If you find any errors in any of the content of  these podcasts or blogs, please send a message to kdandjess@spillingthetheratea.com.
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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to spilling the fair tea with
therapist Kathy Danmore andgrief coach Jess Lowe.
Hey, kathy Dean.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Hey Jess, look at you looking all fresh with bangs.
Girl, Thank you.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
I have heard that word fresh from multiple people
since.
I got my bang on.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
I do.
It looks really good.
It makes your eyes pop.
I love it, thank you, I neededsomething.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
you know like I was not feeling myself and I was
like you know what I need?
A little, a little self care,and just whacked off my bangs.
So well, they look fabulous,thank you.
I have a love hate with themright now just because I have a
widow's peak.
So training that widow's peak,yeah, a minute for them to do
what they're supposed to do.
But you know, in a week's timethey'll be perfect.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yes, I love it.
I love it.
So what's what you got going on?
I am leaving this afternoon totake my baby back up to
Tallahassee, so doing that andthat's if you hear the dinging
that's her texting me on theother end of my computer and

(01:06):
Finn got his braces off.
Did I send you a picture?

Speaker 1 (01:09):
No, I need to see a picture.
I'll send you a picture.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
Yes, he looks like such a nice young gentleman.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
I think it looks groany so I might not like the
picture.
It probably looks like so grownup.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
He does, yeah, so it's like he, but he looks great
, so that's exciting.
He's driving to school.
He's got his braces off, he's,yeah, he's feeling himself too,
he's feeling himself too Exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
That's so cool.
That's so cool.
I am podcasting in front of ahotel room in Jacksonville,
florida, today, so I'm in yourstate, but still a couple hours
away, my dog's sleeping on thebed.
Right now, my husband's in ameeting, so we're going to get a
Savannah for the weekend andjust eat our way through the day
?

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Have you been to Savannah before?
Yeah, yes, I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
We've been this will be our fourth time, I think and
we like going because we cantake our dogs.
We road trip.
It's, you know, not tooterribly bad.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Do you stay in the same place that you know takes
dogs?

Speaker 1 (02:09):
No, no.
So we usually Airbnb, but thiswas a last minute kind of work
thing, so we are staying at aresidence in like Marriott, okay
, head friendly, and they'relike downtown.
It's like a little cottageytype Marriott thing.
It's kind of boutique for.
Marriott and they take pets andthey have parking, which is
great because down you know it'sreally hard and Jason doesn't

(02:32):
want to park on the streetbecause it was a new truck and
all the things, all the things.
But I brought the dog strollerso we could go for walks when
it's not too safe.
So it's nice to be able tobring them, because you know
they don't get out much, so yeah, yes, this is an adventure for
them, it's an adventure for sure, we started taking our two dogs

(02:54):
on our smaller boat.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
Yeah, you know, because the bigger one, they're
not going to jump off of that,but like the smaller one, we
take them out to this area,smacks Bayou, where it's shallow
and, oh my gosh, like Mahi,just walks over to the side of
the boat and then basically justdoes, like a trust, fall into
my arms.
That's all, though.
She wants to be in my arms inthe water, but we're done at

(03:19):
that point.
And then sunshine is liketipping her paw over pulling it
back, tipping it over pulling itback.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
That's funny.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
This is a lot of adventure for our dogs.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Oh yeah, for sure.
My dogs are anti-water, they'reanti-bath, they don't like
getting wet, they don't liketheir feet to touch the grass
after it's rained or dew, soyeah, Mahi feels a little like
that.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
She doesn't like her high knee to get too close to
the grass.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
Yeah, taylor's like I'm a princess, I do not like
this.
And it rains a lot where youlive.
Yes, it does rain a lot, andJason has to like put an
umbrella over her because shebetter not feel it on her back.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
You're the reason I bought my dog stroller.
When you came to visit and youhad your dog stroller, I love it
.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
I love mine, they love it.
I have these fans that I canattach to it, so they are
feeling a breeze.
They love it.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
I feel like people are judging me, but I don't care
.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
I don't care, and speaking of not caring.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
Not he likes it, let's talk about it.
Today is a good one about notcaring.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
It is Today is a good one.
So we are going to talk aboutbody image today, my new bangs.
So, with social media beingsuch a huge impact in so many
people's lives today I just wantto talk about it because I feel
like it's human nature to seeother people and compare

(04:48):
yourself with celebrities andsocial media, the internet
magazines.
It can cost so many to have anegative view of their own
bodies.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah, agreed, this is one where, when we knew we were
going to record on body imagefirst of all, you do a better
job at researching for thepodcast than I do.
But secondly, I feel like we cantalk about this just from our
own personal experiences as well, because I've definitely
struggled in this area.

(05:16):
But we're not talking aboutchanging yourself or anyone to
conform to what others findbeautiful.
We want everyone to lovethemselves for who they are.
Ok, so loving your own body asobvious as it seems like that
would be, is so much easier saidthan done, isn't it?
It is, it is so.
70% of women between the agesof 70% between the ages of 18

(05:42):
and 30, dislike their bodies,and men aren't really much
better off.
45% say they're dissatisfiedwith their bodies too.
I would say that that is nothow it looks in my household,
because I feel dissatisfied mostof the time with it, and it's
something I talk to my owntherapist about and I work on

(06:03):
kind of regularly, and myhusband does not share that
issue.
No, no, not at all.
He walks around, he grabs hisstomach and says fat man needs a
drink.
I mean, you know, or?

Speaker 1 (06:17):
like you do, like a snack.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
It's not usually a drink, because he doesn't really
drink much, but he'll be likeyeah.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, he needs something.

Speaker 2 (06:26):
Yeah, it's usually a snack, and he does it with pure
pride and absolutely zero shame.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
Right, I think it's different for everybody In that
age range of 18 to 30, that'swhen people are comparing
themselves a lot to their peers,you know, but we're not even in
that age range.

Speaker 2 (06:43):
Oh, I know, I'm far from it.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
I felt like when I was in that 18 to 30, I was like
, OK, I'm not bad.
But now I'm like what the hell?

Speaker 2 (06:51):
Yeah, I think it's getting worse for me as I get
older.
My therapist talks to me aboutself-acceptance and that's what
we're preaching.
So just because we strugglewith it doesn't mean that
fundamentally we don't realizethat that is the way to go and
where we want to get to.
So, basically, if you findyourself feeling low about your

(07:12):
body, you're not alone.
The struggle is real and we allkind of share that.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And so there is an actor, model, podcaster, activist named
Jamila Jamil.
She is beautiful, she'sgorgeous and I'm like she does
not take a bad photo.
She's just so beautiful andshe's beautiful on the inside
too.
She has a podcast called I Way.
It's a great mental healthpodcast and it's funny.

(07:38):
They have hilariousconversations, thought-provoking
conversations, with people fromall walks of life my bestie
well in my head, my bestie,taylor Swift.
She turned me on to Jamila Jamil.
Did she say she listens to thepodcast?
Yes, she listens to everythingshe does and her quotes.
Like Taylor, has talked abouthaving body images herself.

(08:01):
You can listen to it in her andeven her songs.
She talks about having a poorbody image at some points in her
life, and so she said thatJamila Jamil's quotes have
really helped her have a morepositive outlook on her own body
.
But there's a quote from Jamilathat says this isn't about
embracing flaws.
This is about enjoying ourbodies at every stage.

(08:24):
They're the best friend we have.
They're our ride or die.
They do all the dumb shit thatwe want, even when they know
that we will feel worse for itin the morning.
They get us up, they get us out, they take us to food, to sex,
they got us through a pandemicand now you know that, listening
down like damn, my body isstrong.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
And.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
I've been through a lot, but we're still going, and
so that really kind of puts aspin on things, you know yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
I really like that.
That's good.
I like her.
She's cool.
Yeah, both Taylor Swift andJamila.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, ok.
So what does having a positivebody image mean?
It means that most of the timethat you're seeing yourself as
you really are, so that doesn'tmean that you're in some sort of
like dream fugue state.
You know, that you arerealistic about what you're

(09:14):
seeing.
You accept that your body, youfeel comfortable in it, even
when it doesn't match what otherpeople's ideals are.
And body image is size, butit's also how we look, what our
hair is like All of it,obviously, yeah, everything yeah
.
So a positive body image meansthat most days you feel

(09:35):
confident and happy with how youlook and some days you might
wish you could change how youlook.
You may feel good about someparts of your body and not
always good about others.
That you've learned to be proudof the way you look and know
that nobody is perfect and thatyou try your best, know that
you're enough and you can chooseto focus on the positives.

(09:56):
And I think the last part,focusing on the positives that
for me really like moves theneedle when I spend time and
energy focusing on somethingthat I like about myself like I
have a really big smile.
I like that.
Then I am much happier withmyself and how I look.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yep, for sure, and I feel like nobody's body.
There's not a perfectdefinition of a body, because
everyone views that in adifferent way.
But I'm just saying I use thisbody to take care of other
people.
I'm kind of the people Ivolunteer.
I use my body to volunteer forother people and do things.

(10:41):
That's all my life.
I'd much rather do that than besome dime piece, you know.
I mean like that's superfissile and me using my body to
help others and things like thatLike.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
I use my body to make other people.
Yeah, girl.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
Like more power to you?
Well, I use my body to carry mydogs around the house.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
Just as important, by the way, in our world that
matters as much, Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
You know, changing your body image starts with
changing the way that you thinkand you feel about yourself.
If you can change how you feelon the inside, it's likely to
change how you think of yourselfon the outside.
Changing the way we thinkrequires daily effort.
Let's be honest.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
It's not something you can say one time.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
But just as just the same as keeping your teeth
healthy requires daily brushingis not always a thrill ride.
Some of the work might beboring or even feel silly
sometimes, but that's OK.
There are countless ways youcan work on body positivity and
you'll find out what works foryou.
So it's not the same foreverybody.
Everybody's different.
We're all dealing withsomething that we might not love

(11:46):
about ourselves versus somebodyelse.
So just to get you started,we're going to give you some
tips on our favorite ways toremind ourselves that bodies are
gifts, not curses.

Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yes.
So positive affirmation, myfavorite Yep.
So one of the most basic andeffective ways we can practice
self-love is to speak it aloudand speak it often, especially
when it feels hard to begrateful for our bodies.
This feels funny sometimes.
By the way, I remember doingthis 30-day wellness thing once

(12:18):
and it required me doing outloud affirmations, and it was my
first experience of doing itwhere it's out loud, and then
you would take the affirmation,write it down and stick it on
your bathroom mirror, so that'skind of like what you had that
day.
So it really does work to giveyourself daily verbal
encouragements and reminders.
This may mean saying kind ofthings to yourself in the mirror

(12:41):
in the morning, replacing theseencouraging sticky notes at
your bedside table, or evenputting down daily
encouragements into your phoneor computer and there's apps
that can do that as well.
So look for self-love and bodypositive mantras that speak to
you so you can check out.
We have a list that you'regoing to add.

(13:02):
So, like I said, it could feelsilly.
You can feel a little bit sillydoing it, but just because it
feels silly doesn't mean that itdoesn't work.
Was that a double negative?
You know what I'm saying?
It still works.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
So just keep at it A little silliness isn't going to
hurt you.
No, it's not.
And then also, like I lovebeing silly with myself, so I
love to laugh at myself and Ifeel like it's silly.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
I was leaving.
I took Lily the other day.
We had to take her to thehospital to have a procedure
done steroids put into herfingers and so we were leaving
and I don't remember what I wassaying.
I was driving and I was sayingsomething and she goes oh my
gosh, mom, you think you're sofunny.
And I got on the biggest,longest thread, where then I

(13:54):
just kept going to the nextthing, and she's looking at me
like I have three heads.
That's so funny, so hard at myown silliness, because of course
, in front of her I don't feel.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
I mean I feel like an 18-year-old is judging me, but
not, I don't feel self-consciousand I am funny.
I am funny.
I said to her I go, I am sofunny.
She goes, you think you are, Igo, I know.
So the others think healthier,not skinnier.

(14:29):
I don't know about you.
That one's hard for me, that'shard for me.
That's probably my hardest.
Yeah, and I'm working at it, andI will say one of the things
that has worked a little bit forme in this process is I finally
found an exercise that I enjoyand that has made a difference.
So I've discovered Pilates, andit really isn't about getting

(14:54):
skinnier, it's really just aboutfeeling more flexible and kind
of getting a stronger core, andso that's helped me shift a
little bit towards healthier,not skinnier.
So, but you know, when you'remaking meals in general or
you're hitting the gym, don'tframe your fitness goals
according to, like, the numberon the scale.
So, because it doesn't have tobe a punishment, this is just a

(15:18):
way that we show respect andappreciation for our bodies.
So, instead of thinking abouthow much your body weighs or how
it's shaped, think about theamazing things that it can do,
the places it can take you, howit feels and the experience it
brings you.
So then, honor it and nourishit with meals and exercise that
you actually enjoy.
And if you're doing an exercisefor me, I kept thinking, well, I

(15:41):
should be doing more HIITclasses and I should be lifting
really, really heavy weights.
And when I started doingPilates, I was like this, I mean
, it's hard but this just feelsgood.
So try different things.
Or I started doing this classit's called Shred and it is as
hard as it sounds and people arelike doing a 200 meter run.

(16:06):
Girlfriend over here is justkind of walking a little bit to
the end of the you know parkinglot and back while everybody's
running, and I was like that'sthe best I can do, but I'm here,
I mean, but you're doing it,you showed up and I cheer for
the people who are running backas I'm walking the park and I'm
like you're doing awesome.

Speaker 1 (16:25):
You're doing awesome and, speaking of that,
complimenting others freely yes,there you go.
So you know, oftentimes weproject our own insecurities
onto other people.
We judge them harshly becausewe judge ourselves too harshly.
But when we open up ourselvesto being kind to others, it
opens us up to being kinder toourselves.
You know we talk about you.

(16:45):
Wouldn't say something negative, like you know, to your best
friend.
So why say it to you?
To yourself?
So you know, give someone acompliment you wish you got when
you needed it the most.
Be someone else's silver liningand tell them they're rocking
their look.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, thanks you, and you are rocking.
Your luck yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
Yeah, and this kind of goes with everything in your
life, right?
So another example issurrounding yourself with
positivity.
Negative messages about bodyimage are all around us, and
they have a way of weaselingthemselves into our thoughts and
antagonizing our insecurities,right, yes, they do.
This could be, you know, for anexample, photoshop images of

(17:28):
models on billboards or bodynegative people in your life,
and even body negative posts onsocial media, and we talk about
social media all the time, butaccording to a study,
participants who spent more timeon social media were more
likely to develop a negativebody image and more likely to
develop eating disorders.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
I believe that I do too.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
And we talked about that in our eating disorder
episode?
Yes, also.
I just feel like I mean, I knowthat there are some good things
about social media, such asthis podcast and Instagrams that
are, you know, mental healthpositive and that sort of thing,
but that's few and far between,yeah, I agree.

(18:13):
So try to cut out thenegativity that you can.
Curate your social media feeds.
Hide those sad diet posters.
Look for positive people,people who practice self love
and people who will encourageyou to be who you are too.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
Right, yeah, keep those people close by and
focusing on things that you likeabout yourself.
So every time a negativethought about your body pops
into your mind, go ahead andcounter it with something
positive.
So if you know you really likeit, and have some of those, I
think, ready in your back pocket, if you know you really like
your, your smile, but you reallydon't like the size of your

(18:50):
hips I may be being personal onthis one Then when you start
being overly critical, I'll belike but you know, I do love my
tail.
So if you make a list of thingsthat you like about your body,
you'll have it ready.
So, but not just how it looks,right Things that it also allows
you to do.
List those things out.

(19:10):
Or naturally inclined to lookfor our dissatisfactions and
overlook the things that aregood.
So to break out of that way ofthinking, this is going to take
repetition and practice, but youhave to just keep on it.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
Yeah, for sure.
And then also, you know youwere talking about your smile
and your hips, but your hips,you have two beautiful children,
so you gotta think about youknow hey, those hips helped you,
they served me well, they did.
Also, you know, cut out thatnegative self talk and we talk
about this all the time, how wewould never say horrible things

(19:44):
to our friends.
Why are we saying it toourselves?
Treat your body with the samekindness that you would treat a
friend, and whatever you'reyou're about to say about your
body is something you feel badsaying to your about your
friend's body.
Don't say it.
Yeah, yeah, right, Exactly.
You know, negative self talkonly digs us deeper into body
negative patterns of thinking.

(20:05):
If you don't deserve verbalabuse from anybody, you know,
especially yourself.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
So yeah, and don't compare yourself to other people
, right?
People come in all shapes andsizes.
So, one person is beautiful inone way, the next person is
beautiful in a different way.
So imagine how boring it wouldbe if we all looked exactly the
same, and different people likedifferent things.
So you might as well find whatyou, what you have, and

(20:31):
celebrate it, and not compare towhat other people have.
It makes you you feel like youdon't look the way that you
should look, and that's just nottrue.
That's message.
It's false messaging.
You're not supposed to looklike anyone else, you're
supposed to just look like you.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
Mm-hmm For sure, yeah , and absorb those body positive
messages because of, as we'vesaid before, the world is full
of negative messages aboutbodies, so balance that negative
noise out with some good,positive perspectives.
There's a lot of greatliterature out there about body
image and I will post a couplein our show notes too and many
readers have found them to be ahuge help in their journeys.

(21:09):
So I'll attach a reading listfrom Psychology Today, which is
a great website that we use alot as well, and you know that
would help get our listenersstarted.
So, in case you feel more likelistening they're reading I'll
also put a bonus of songs withbody positive images.
Oh, I love that.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yeah, yeah, and then do something nice for your body,
you know, when's the last timeyou gave your body just a little
bit of gift to say hey, thanksfor sticking with me, Right?
So, carve out some time to golay in the grass or take a
bubble bath or walk up the hillfor a pretty view or a good nap.
Personally, I'm all about thenap Like when it's the weekend

(21:51):
and I can kind of rest and shutit down.
I like a good nap.
And then I think I've mentionedbefore about Pilates.
I think when you find somethingthat you enjoy doing and
there's some activity to it,that's good for your body,
that's really awesome too.
Yeah, highly suggest Pilates topeople.

Speaker 1 (22:11):
I wish I could lay in the grass with my allergies.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
That would not be doing something nice to your
body.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
Always so funny because when we go to Boston and
you know we're walking throughthe comments, you see all these
people in blankets and are ornot even blankets, are just
lounging.
I'm like, oh my God, I wish Icould be like that.
Like you know, I don't likeover here, like popping my
clothes.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
That would be doing something unkind to his body.
So the last thing is just sortof focusing on your whole person
.
I think you know we do focus somuch on how we look externally
and for all the reasons thatwe've said so, but don't forget,
you're so much more than justhow you look.

(22:55):
A key piece of having a healthybody image is to stop fixating
on your body.
Try to spend more time thinkingabout things other than your
physical experience.
So that can be things likethrowing yourself into your
passions, picking up a new hobby, going to catch a movie with a
friend, making something,creating something, doing art.

(23:17):
You know your body's notdecoration for looking at, it's
for doing things.
So go ahead, get out, go dothings with this body that you
have.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
I agree.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Pilates or pickleball .
Do the Pilates Pickleball?
Pickleball is so popular downhere now I don't know like can't
even get on a clock.
It's getting popular here too.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
It's the thing.
Yeah, it's the thing.

Speaker 2 (23:43):
I don't want to take credit for it, but I also don't
want to diminish that we couldhave contributed?

Speaker 1 (23:48):
I think so.
I think so, all right.
Well, let's jump into our askedand answered.
Perfect, okay, we have Anthonyin Delaware.
Hi Anthony.
He says Hi Kathy, dan and Jess.
I have a strained relationshipwith my adult son.
He chose to make choices in hislife that put not only him but

(24:08):
our family in harm's way timeand time again.
He is now sober six months andreached out to mend our
relationship.
I would love this, but I'mhesitant for reasons such as
trust, my own emotional wellbeing and his younger siblings,
who are minors.
Any advice on how to begin thisjourney?

Speaker 2 (24:29):
Yes, I love this question.
So obviously well, maybe notobviously first off is creating
boundaries and barriers toprotect the younger siblings.
This doesn't all have to bedone at once.
It can really be done in stages, because we've talked about
this, trust is lost in bucketsand gained in droplets, so we

(24:52):
want to focus on doing small,achievable, attainable goals in
this relationship journey withhim.
The second thing is really maybefinding a therapist who is
trained and knowledgeable in thearea of substance abuse and
recovery.

(25:12):
Allinon is something a lot ofpeople suggest when you're
looking at the AA track, butthat's not the beginning, middle
and end of what you can do.
Find a therapist whounderstands substance abuse and
can talk to you a little bitabout what was going on for your
kiddo when he was going throughaddiction and I'm thinking

(25:35):
that's what he's referencing,because he said he's now sober
six months when he was goingthrough addiction, and what
recovery looks like, whatrelapse can look like, what some
of the good boundaries are thatyou can put in place to take
this slowly, and how you canaddress your own emotional
health going through it, becauseit's a healing as well.

(25:57):
You have been put through atrauma that he has inflicted
upon you and the family, andthat requires your own journey
of healing.
So that would be where I wouldstart.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
Yeah.
And I also want to say don'texpect to move mountains in that
first meeting.
It's going to take the babysteps, and having those baby
steps will help protect youremotional and mental well-being
too, because you're not settingyourself up for failure at the
job, expecting just extravagantthings to happen in that first.
You know, first time you'remeeting, or even the first

(26:33):
months after you're working onthis relationship, yeah.
And when you've amended thattrust with your son, then you
can start reintroducing thesiblings and things like that
too.
You don't have to just have afamily reunion the first meeting
yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
Yeah, and good luck.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yes, all right.
Well, thank you to ourlisteners for joining us today.
If you've enjoyed today'sepisode, please leave us a
review on Apple Podcast.
This will help me with up thechart and be more accessible to
new listeners.
You can also follow us onInstagram and Facebook.
We'll drop tips and informationabout upcoming episodes.
If you have a question for ourask and answered segment, email
us at askussplainthetheritycom.

(27:15):
We also have our website,splainthetheritycom.
We will continue to addresources and information there
as well.
We hope everyone has a greatweekend.

Speaker 2 (27:24):
We are your hosts, kathy, dan Moore and Deslo, and
join us next time for afollow-up discussion about
narcissistic personalitydisorder and how that differs
from narcissistic behaviors.
So we'll be breaking it downone sip at a time.
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