October 9, 2025 • 28 mins
In this transformative episode of The Spiritual Spotlight Series, Randy Lyman—known as the “spiritual cowboy”—shares his extraordinary path from physicist and tech entrepreneur to emotional intelligence pioneer. After a life-changing breakthrough at a business retreat, Randy discovered the hidden link between emotional healing and tangible success.
He introduces “The Third Element,” a paradigm-shifting framework that reveals how unprocessed emotions transcend time and space, shaping our life experiences until we release them. From helping CEOs reconnect with family to teaching leaders to build cultures of belonging, Randy’s message bridges science and soul with grounded wisdom and heartfelt authenticity.
If you’ve ever wondered how emotional alchemy can transform not just your inner world but your professional reality, this conversation will leave you inspired to embrace your full, divine potential.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello everyone, welcome to Spiritual Spotlight
Series.
Today I'm joined by Randy Lyman.
He is known as a spiritualcowboy and he is the author of
the new book, the Third Element.
Randy, thank you so much forcoming on Spiritual Spotlight
Series.
I'm so happy you're here.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Great to be here, Rachel.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
So let's start from the beginning of your journey,
the beginning of time.
How did a physicist and a techentrepreneur find himself
stepping into the world ofemotional intelligence and
spiritual transformation?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Well, in 1989, at the age of 28, I was a left brain
scientist, engineer and businessowner and I met an amazing
woman named Maria, who helped mesee the spiritual, emotional
side of life, and it changed myapproach to life completely.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Oh, I love that.
So you mentioned a pivotalrealization, that's that stress
and emotional disconnection wereholding your you and your team
back.
Can you maybe describe whatthat moment was like and what
shifted for you?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Well, I was having challenges with people around me
being incompetent and Maria, mypartner, said everything in
life is a mirror.
Look at yourself.
So I looked at my thoughts andI tried to be more competent.
I looked at my actions and Itried to be more competent, and
I was just hitting my headagainst the wall for months.
And then I went to a four daybusiness communication retreat
(01:23):
and on the third day I had ahuge emotional release around
something a family member hadsaid 12 years ago about how they
wished I was more like myfriend John.
Well, I had tried for 12 yearsto be more competent, to get
their approval, because when Iwas younger I was 17, I was
still trying to figure out theworld and I thought God, if this
(01:45):
family member, if this person,doesn't approve of me, how am I
gonna make it in the world?
So I was trying to be competent, subconsciously.
Well, I had this big emotionalrelease I get through.
I cried the tears, I let allthe pain out and four days later
, when I came back to work, allthe people who were incompetent
either magically becamecompetent or they left my life.
(02:06):
And as a scientist, cause andeffect, I made the connection.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I love that you were able to make that connection.
That is honestly.
You are right.
I'm always like when in thespiritual realm, I'm always like
we have to model right behavior, we have to model right
behavior with the model rightbehavior and I I really respect
the fact that you had thatpivotal moment and then you like
kind of applied it to your workand now, as being the spiritual
cowboy and writing the book,and I'm sure it's been a a
(02:33):
progression of energy andchanges, I'm having a moment in
my brain.
Well, it was a big change.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
And so what happened was, as I started to embrace the
emotional side of life, I hadto look at my anger, my
frustration, all mydisappointments and, underneath
there, deeper level of sadness.
So all these emotions I washanging on to started to come to
the surface, and my partner atthe time helped guide me through
that and I learned that if Icould go back and feel those
(03:01):
emotional pains completely andrelease them, then they no
longer attracted chaos into mylife, because the emotions are
bigger than time and space andthey have to come through our
body in the present moment,Right, and so our mind is never
in the present moment.
Our thinking mind is the past,the future, a string of thought
Now we can observe in thepresent moment, but that's
(03:21):
different.
So we can never think our waythrough an emotional challenge
because when we're thinkingwe're not in touch with our body
.
So, as I cover it in the book,we need to get back to a place
and a safe time and place wherewe can feel those emotions
through our body, feel the paincompletely, and the key is to
release it.
And, as I explained in the book, the law of attraction is
(03:45):
obligated to bring us remindersof our old emotional unresolved
trauma and it just it'sobligated.
There's no way around that, andwhen we avoid it we get bigger
and bigger irritations in ourlife until we finally find a way
to get in touch with it.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Yeah.
So let's talk, let's jump inand talk about your book.
So he has a new book.
It's called the third element.
Right, here's the cover I love,I love the key.
I was like, oh, I really likethe cover, I like, I really like
the simplicity of it, but itlike it's like oh, what's the
missing key of law of attraction?
So you call emotions themissing key to manifestation.
(04:20):
Why do you believe emotions,rather than mindset alone, are
the true driving force?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Everything in the universe fits into one of three
categories, or three elements,as I say our thoughts, our
thinking, mind and thoughts, andinformation our body and the
physical world.
And the third, and the mostimportant, is our emotions.
And emotions are bigger thantime and space.
We want to feel good.
It's an emotion to feel good,to be joyous, to be happy, to be
enthusiastic.
(04:48):
So we educate ourselves to besmart, we work hard, so we'll
feel, but then we turn off ouremotions.
How are we going to feel good?
And we turn them off?
And, more importantly, thepower of feeling good attracts
more good and the power ofreleasing old, painful emotions
allows space for more good.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Absolutely.
Can you maybe share a powerfultransformation story, either of
your own or clients, that reallyillustrates the power of the
third element in action?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I'll talk about a CEO I worked with whose son was
having some drug addictionchallenges and he was not able
to connect with his son and hehad his own emotional journey to
go through.
So I guided him to the idea, Iheld the space for him and we
talked over a matter of weeksand he got to a place where he
was able to feel his own painaround his son's challenge not
(05:40):
fix his son's challenge, but tofeel his own pain.
And when he did and he gotthrough it and he felt that pain
, then suddenly he was able toconnect with his son and his son
was able to make breakthroughs.
But first the gift to him wasto be able to get through his
own pain and that changesrelationship with his son
drastically in a better, in anamazingly better way.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Oh, I love that.
That sounds amazing.
Like what a journey and atransformation for him and his
son.
Like, oh, I love that.
So your book blends sciencewith spirituality.
Can you maybe give us anexample of how those two worlds
converge in your work today?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Okay, well, everything in the world is
energy from a point of physicsor chemistry or engineering, and
we learn that in electricalcharges opposites attract, but
in resonance, in vibrational,resonance like attracts, like.
So things that are similar toeach other are attracted to each
(06:38):
other through sympatheticresonance.
And that's science, that'stuning forks, that's a whole lot
more things, radio waves, etc.
And so in our life, the worldis co-created for us by the law
of attraction.
Every moment of every day it'snot like oh, I'm gonna manifest
something, I'm gonna call thisin.
Now.
It's happening all the time.
So our thoughts resonate, ouractions resonate and our
(07:00):
emotions resonate at anenergetic level.
And in science science againeverything's energy.
In our life, everything isenergy.
So our emotions have an energyof their own and they're very
valid in the moment.
If we feel them completely inthe moment.
They pass, they're gone, theywere useful.
But once the moment has passed,if we didn't feel that pain
completely, it's stored withinus, it resonates at a certain
(07:24):
frequency and it obligates thelaw of attraction to bring us
reminders.
And those irritations, thosegifts of irritation, are
reminders.
And now, as I explain in thebook, we're able to go through
steps to get in touch with thatand release that energy and then
good replaces that old, painfulenergy.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
So, while writing this book, was there maybe a
particular emotional block orpattern in your own life that
you had to confront in order tounlock your own abundance and
clarity?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Well, over the four years it took me to write the
book, every single issue I hadto go back through at a deeper
level.
It wasn't because I wanted to,it was because I was asked to,
and one of them that I was shownabout a year ago is some
neighbors I was dealing withwere basically telling lies and
attacking me in a certain way,and so I had to go back to turn
(08:15):
the other cheek, which is whichmeans to me respond from a place
of love.
Now I can set boundaries, I canrespond appropriately, I can
use intelligent behavior torespond, but at the same time I
need to find a place withinmyself to say what am I feeling
that I can heal?
When I work through thathealing, then it's easy to
(08:36):
respond in love and say thankyou for the gift.
And so when I did that, I hadto go back through it again.
I've gone through it many times,but I went through it one more
time and I found a way to find agift in the challenge and truly
be thankful and send love tothose who were attacking me.
And when I did, then thesituation resolved itself
magically.
It's not magic at all, and Iexplain that again in the book.
(08:57):
It's not magic at all.
It's just a matter of we'recalled on to look at things from
a different perspective, andwhen we choose to do that, then
the universe responds withmagical gifts and miracles.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Absolutely, and you kind of just touched upon this
how do you personally processand stay present with difficult
emotions, especially duringtimes of stress and uncertainty?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Oh, you're assuming I do all the time.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
I don't think you do.
I try to.
I really try to but it's, youknow, it's weird and I apologize
I hijacked your moment here,but it's.
It's feels like I don't knowabout you, but right now, stress
, anxiety, tension, frustration,like we're in the United States
I believe you're in the UnitedStates and I'm'm in New York and
(09:44):
there's a lot of very, very,very angry people.
So somebody like yourself who'svery spiritually minded we're
talking about law of attractionand you've got to be present and
how do we stay above the frayin this time of chaos and
uncertainty?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Yeah, it comes slowly over time, snowball effect.
So we start small and as wehave small wins, so to speak,
and we get good results and ourfaith builds our faith builds
more and more, we eventually getto a place.
First of all, we get to atipping point of, oh, there's
some issues coming up.
I know that it's going to beeasier to dive into the pain
(10:23):
than it is to ignore the pain.
And when I dive into the painit's short, it's temporary, it's
not as big as my mind makes itout to be, and then my physical
world improves.
And eventually we get to theplace where we say, okay, I'm
having a challenge, I know Ineed to go here.
Then later we get to a placewhere, oh, I'm having this
challenge and I can go here nowby breathing, by journaling, by
(10:46):
EFT tapping, by going throughfor a walk, by just gratitude,
by stopping and finding thingsI'm grateful for, and those can
be small.
We can recognize beauty in aflower growing through a crack
in the sidewalk in a city.
We can be thankful for eitherrain or a beautiful sunny blue
sky, whatever that might be.
And when we get that place ofgratitude, when we slow down and
(11:10):
we take a breath and feel ourbody and we stop and realize,
hey, this is okay and weremember this is a gift.
When we do that, our worldchanges instantly, and it's a
habit.
It takes time to build up thehabit.
So in the book I talk about somethings that people can work
with.
In chapter seven there's 14different exercises we can do.
(11:30):
Find what works for you andstart small, and faith will
build.
And as our faith builds, thenthe answers come easier and life
gets easier.
I wrote this book because mylife works really well, but if I
go back 35 years ago, it was achallenge.
So I want people to understandfirst and then be bold enough to
(11:51):
take a different approach andthen find results within the
approach and then say, wow, lifeis good, life can be a game and
it can be a fun game that I nowknow how to win.
Just take some time and effort.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Absolutely, I'm know how to win.
Just take some time and effort.
Absolutely, I'm going to askyou this why do you feel that
some people are not comfortableto dive into the pain?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Oh, that was easy for me because I was intelligent
and strong.
And strong, intelligent peopleare really good at avoiding
their pain.
We make up excuses, we finddistractions, we say we're tough
, we push it aside and it hurts.
So ego, which is a valid partof us, we don't have to kill the
ego.
The ego partners with ourhigher self through our
(12:35):
intuition and with our childself to deal with our emotions
and our joy and creativity.
And when we look at, oh okay, Igot to deal with this, the ego
says this is going to hurt.
We're going to avoid it.
So a part of our mind can stillsay wait a minute, I want a
better life.
I'm going to teach my ego topartner with my higher self.
I'm going to teach my ego thatthere can, we can have me.
(13:02):
The ego can have a better lifethrough addressing my emotional
pain and we and that's why weavoid it because it hurts.
But once we start down the path, I guarantee it gets better and
better and life improves.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Absolutely, and it gets easier.
Like you said, it's not thisbig mountain, it becomes a small
, like mohel it really does.
Once you can kind of go throughit and go through the steps,
it's like, oh okay, here, thisis again.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
And then the lessons don't get so loud and they don't
slam in your face like it'slike.
This joy is a gift, this is agift and I'm gonna and I'm gonna
guarantee something else aswell, which is when we get
through the bigger challengesand we can have an emoting let
go of the emotion, let go of thepain.
Even as a man cry the tears,feel it yeah okay, we're human.
I don't care how tough we are,we're supposed to be or have to
be at times.
We're human and so when we feelthat and we have the release,
then the bigger the release, themore we'll feel that rush of
(13:55):
love, wonderful, warm,supportive energy rush into our
body and our being to be therefor us.
And that was what reallybrought me back to emotional
clearing, as I knew, okay, thisis going to hurt for a moment
and then I'm going to feel somuch better and that's what kept
me coming back again and again.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
I respect the fact that you were willing to come
back to it again and again,knowing that there was something
at the end of this.
That's amazing.
So, as the purpose-drivenleader, I do have some questions
.
So, many people associatebusiness success with logic and
hustle.
How do you guide clients tointegrate spiritual grounding
(14:32):
without losing that drive forresults?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Well, as a leader, that means we're leading people.
We're not working by ourselvesand our results depend on our
team and our team is going torespond to us depending on how
we interact with them.
So when they realize that weare a service driven leader, I'm
here to serve my team and myteam knows that and, more
(14:56):
importantly, they feel thatthrough my actions, my behavior
and me showing up clear andvulnerable and stable and
consistent.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Then they say oh, randy's on my side.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
What's Randy's goals.
I'm on board with this becauseI know Randy's gonna support me.
Randy the leader, the leader'sgonna support me.
The leader's gonna find waysfor me to succeed and I'm here
for myself.
My leader's here for me.
I'm on board with the mission.
So then, when we create thatenvironment within the team that
the team members know it'sabout them and it's about them
succeeding, and we give themcredit and we do recognize and
(15:30):
acknowledge them and they feellike they're contributing, they
belong, suddenly we have awinning team and those people
show up and they bring theirbest.
That's how I win as a leader.
It's not about me, it's notabout my authority, it's does
the team understand and, moreimportantly, feel that I'm there
to support them and help themfind success.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I really like that answer.
So you talk about creating aculture of belonging in business
.
What does that look like inpractice, and how can leaders
foster that kind of environment?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Well, first of all, the leader has to be clear
within their own being and beaware of their emotions.
We don't have to be completely,perfectly clear and healed, we
have to be on the way.
We have to be aware, we have tobe doing the work to write down
our outside logical challenges,and either we have a logical
answer or maybe a little deeper.
We have a feeling associatedwith the frustration and the
(16:22):
challenge, with the frustrationand the challenge.
When leaders are able toacknowledge their feelings, then
when they show up interacting,that feeling isn't in their
subconscious trying to push itsway into every interaction.
Now it's been acknowledged andwe are aware of it and we can
deal with it and when the righttime and space makes us
(16:42):
available.
But in the meantime thatfeeling isn't trying to push its
way into our consciousness,it's already there.
Now we can show up moreintelligent, we can show up more
clear, and another thing we cando, aside from acknowledging
our feelings, is to listen more.
And in human interactions weping pong back and forth and
(17:02):
while the other person's talking, I'm trying to formulate my
response.
And as leaders, you wereintelligent.
Stop trying to respond.
Slow down, know and trust.
The answer will come when it'ssupposed to and when that person
stops talking, pause and givethem an opportunity to say more.
They're probably going to saymore and if you can tell they're
(17:23):
emotionally charged, don'trespond.
Ask more questions and givethem an opportunity to just get
it all out.
Now, when they've gotten it allout and they feel they've been
heard, because we truly heardthem, maybe we mirror back a
word or two.
Now, when we have something tosay, they're not formulating a
response.
They've emptied their cup andthey're ready to receive from us
(17:45):
and hear what we have to say.
Not only are they going to hearwhat we have to say, they're
going to realize we cared enoughto listen.
Now, this is an investment intime, but the investment is huge
.
Imagine walking into a group ofpeople and you find they're
solving a problem without you.
Imagine people coming into youroffice and they say, yeah, I've
got a problem and I think thisis the solution.
(18:06):
We've already talked about it.
Those are what we do throughhelping people, through group
problem solving, throughteaching people how to approach
problem solving, and tolistening to the people in our
teams and on our teams and inour companies who have ideas and
helping them feel that they'reimportant.
It takes a big time investmentof time, but the return is huge
(18:28):
and the profitability is huge.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Absolutely.
Oh, I love that answer so much.
I really do.
I really do.
For those that may be skepticalabout emotional intelligence or
spirituality, especially in thebusiness world, how do you help
them open to this deeper innerwork?
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Well, first they have to be somewhat open to it, and
then I take them through some ofthe processes that I outlined
in the book.
The Third Element, which is tofirst do some journaling, become
aware of where we might havesome feelings and some emotions,
dive deeper into those througheither continued journaling,
through breath work, throughtapping, acupuncture, massage,
(19:08):
working out, beating, getting aplastic bat and beating the hell
out of a pillow and getting therage out.
These are simple things, it'sdifferent for everybody but
first we identify it and then wehave to be, have an open mind
and say it's at the intent.
I'm willing to deal with this.
And when a leader is open tothat, they're already aware that
they're not showing up ascomplete and as calm and
(19:31):
confident as they can be, andwhen they're already aware of
that and then they have theintent, it's easy to take them
down that road and it's reallyeasy to get some positive
results right away that they can, that they can use to show up
more complete when they interactwith their team or even their
board meeting.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah, I love that.
So what are some common ways?
Unprocessed emotions subtlysabotage our personal growth or
success, without us evenrealizing it.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
The people that we love the most, who we really
want to hear what we have to say.
They're typically the ones whoare bringing those gifts to us
in the way of irritations,Whether it's people we respect
at work, whether it's people inour family, whoever that might
be Now, it can also just be astranger on the street who cuts
us off in traffic, or it can bean employee we don't know that
(20:21):
well who irritates us, but a lotof times it's those who we are
closest to who bring us thebiggest lessons.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
I would agree with you.
I'm just thinking about my ownlike oh dear.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
No, and the thing I mean here's something to add
those who we are closest to weare the safe, we feel the safest
, responding to with logic andreason and pushing back.
When we feel safe with somebody, we're ready to push back and
the pushback isn't the answer.
If we have to set boundaries orspeak our mind, we do, but if
back and the pushback isn't theanswer, if we have to set
boundaries or speak our mind, wedo, but if we do it with
emotional charge, that doesn'thelp us.
(20:59):
Right, if we look internallyand say, where's my emotional
charge to this relationship orthis interaction, that's our
gift and that's the key tofinding where we can heal, and
then we no longer need thatperson in our life, reactivating
us and bringing us that gift.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I really like the idea of looking within yourself
to where is this emotionalcharge?
Because it may not even be likethe person in front of you.
It's like you said, it's atrigger that's inside of us that
we need to work on and we needto.
It probably isn't that personyou know that's bringing it to
the I'm like can you tell?
I'm thinking of my own personalstuff.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
How often, rachel, have you or anybody out there
watching been able to change thepeople in our world around us,
and how hard is that?
It's not easy.
We're not in control.
And yet if we turn to ourselfand say, how can I change my
mindset, how can I change myactions, how can I get in touch
with some old feelings that Ihave and work through those,
we're in complete control whenwe take that approach.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Absolutely, and the thing is like you don't want to
feel out of control, like youwant to be able to recognize
what's going on within you.
And let me ask you thisquestion why do you feel like a
lot of people don't want to feelwithin their bodies?
I feel like a lot of people,even spiritual people.
They spend a lot of time out inthe ethers and they're not
connected to their body.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Well, one it's the ego doesn't want to say I'm
wrong and I need to change.
The other is we've seen peoplearound us who are emotional and
their life's a wreck.
So just because we feel ouremotions doesn't mean we're
going to make decisions based onemotions, doesn't mean we're
going to react emotionally andwe need to separate.
Okay, these are the feelings Ineed to work through and these
(22:44):
are people outside of me whoreact and make decisions based
on emotion.
And when we realize we can feeland process our emotions
without them negatively,adversely affecting our reality,
then we have that understanding.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Then it's easier to address our emotions.
Yeah, I like that.
I like that.
So you call this work amovement for emotional
liberation.
What does emotional freedommean to you, and how can we
begin to experience this ineveryday life?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
freedom- mean to you and how can we begin to
experience this in everyday life?
Well, first of all, I thinkit's the third and final
evolution slash revolution ofmankind.
We had the industrialrevolution 120 years ago, we had
the informational revolutionover the last 30 years and now
the third and final revolutionis the emotional revolution, the
evolution of mankind, where westart to look at, okay, what is
(23:35):
the underlying emotion I'mdealing with?
And then be compassionate forpeople who are going through
their own emotional revolution.
And we can still address themwith logic and reason, we can
still set boundaries and stateour needs and wants and desires.
But when we start looking atand being aware of the emotional
side of being human, people aregoing to see us differently.
(23:58):
And here's the irony when we candeal with emotions from a place
of calm and confidence andbeing rational, then people say,
wow, this man or woman is ableto show up, be vulnerable.
And I still see their strengthand they're strong even though
they're vulnerable.
Holy cow, there's some realstrength here in this person,
(24:20):
and that's how leaders today,the best leaders, are showing up
.
They're showing up with theirtrue self.
They share some of theirfailures, they share some of
their fears and, at the sametime, they share their
confidence in the teams thatthey're leading that together.
This is what we can accomplishand that's where leadership is
headed.
And this is this is really thelast missing key, not only in
(24:42):
the law of attraction but in theevolution of mankind.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Absolutely, absolutely.
So, before I ask you the lastquestion, where is the best
place for anyone that wants tolearn more about the purpose
driven leader?
Where is the best place foranyone that wants to learn more
about the purpose-driven leader?
The third element, which, soeveryone knows, is the number
one new release in motivationalgrowth and spirituality book,
which is amazing.
What is the best place for themto go to?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
The best place is on my website, randylymancom.
On there they can click on alink to buy the book.
They can click on a link tojoin our community and get
updates, real-time updates onchanges and live events and free
offers that we have.
So randylimoncom is the easiestway to connect and also,
(25:24):
depending on their choice of asocial media platform, they can
connect through social media aswell.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Awesome, Thank you so much.
So for listeners who feelemotionally stuck, disconnected
or burned out, what is onepractical step they can take
today to begin shifting intogreater alignment and abundance?
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Well, I'm going to give you two.
One is write down yourchallenges so you can release
them from your mind and yourworry.
And then the most importantthing is realize that every
single one of us you meaningeveryone out there is deserving
of wonderful, beautiful life,deserving of love and deserving
of success.
And no matter what bs storyanybody's told you about
(26:03):
yourself, you are a spark ofdivine creation.
I gotta slow down.
I get so fired up and wired andhappy.
We're all a spark of divinecreation and we all are
deserving of love and successand know that and find a way to
feel that within yourself.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Oh, I love that answer so much, randy.
Thank you so much for coming onthis virtual spotlight series.
It's truly been amazing toconnect with you today, thank
you.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
You're welcome, Rachel.
It's been a lot of fun.
Thanks for having me.
Hello everyone, welcome to Spiritual Spotlight
Series.
Today I'm joined by Randy Lyman.
He is known as a spiritualcowboy and he is the author of
the new book, the Third Element.
Randy, thank you so much forcoming on Spiritual Spotlight
Series.
I'm so happy you're here.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Great to be here, Rachel.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
So let's start from the beginning of your journey,
the beginning of time.
How did a physicist and a techentrepreneur find himself
stepping into the world ofemotional intelligence and
spiritual transformation?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Well, in 1989, at the age of 28, I was a left brain
scientist, engineer and businessowner and I met an amazing
woman named Maria, who helped mesee the spiritual, emotional
side of life, and it changed myapproach to life completely.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
Oh, I love that.
So you mentioned a pivotalrealization, that's that stress
and emotional disconnection wereholding your you and your team
back.
Can you maybe describe whatthat moment was like and what
shifted for you?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Well, I was having challenges with people around me
being incompetent and Maria, mypartner, said everything in
life is a mirror.
Look at yourself.
So I looked at my thoughts andI tried to be more competent.
I looked at my actions and Itried to be more competent, and
I was just hitting my headagainst the wall for months.
And then I went to a four daybusiness communication retreat
(01:23):
and on the third day I had ahuge emotional release around
something a family member hadsaid 12 years ago about how they
wished I was more like myfriend John.
Well, I had tried for 12 yearsto be more competent, to get
their approval, because when Iwas younger I was 17, I was
still trying to figure out theworld and I thought God, if this
(01:45):
family member, if this person,doesn't approve of me, how am I
gonna make it in the world?
So I was trying to be competent, subconsciously.
Well, I had this big emotionalrelease I get through.
I cried the tears, I let allthe pain out and four days later
, when I came back to work, allthe people who were incompetent
either magically becamecompetent or they left my life.
(02:06):
And as a scientist, cause andeffect, I made the connection.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
I love that you were able to make that connection.
That is honestly.
You are right.
I'm always like when in thespiritual realm, I'm always like
we have to model right behavior, we have to model right
behavior with the model rightbehavior and I I really respect
the fact that you had thatpivotal moment and then you like
kind of applied it to your workand now, as being the spiritual
cowboy and writing the book,and I'm sure it's been a a
(02:33):
progression of energy andchanges, I'm having a moment in
my brain.
Well, it was a big change.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
And so what happened was, as I started to embrace the
emotional side of life, I hadto look at my anger, my
frustration, all mydisappointments and, underneath
there, deeper level of sadness.
So all these emotions I washanging on to started to come to
the surface, and my partner atthe time helped guide me through
that and I learned that if Icould go back and feel those
(03:01):
emotional pains completely andrelease them, then they no
longer attracted chaos into mylife, because the emotions are
bigger than time and space andthey have to come through our
body in the present moment,Right, and so our mind is never
in the present moment.
Our thinking mind is the past,the future, a string of thought
Now we can observe in thepresent moment, but that's
(03:21):
different.
So we can never think our waythrough an emotional challenge
because when we're thinkingwe're not in touch with our body
.
So, as I cover it in the book,we need to get back to a place
and a safe time and place wherewe can feel those emotions
through our body, feel the paincompletely, and the key is to
release it.
And, as I explained in the book, the law of attraction is
(03:45):
obligated to bring us remindersof our old emotional unresolved
trauma and it just it'sobligated.
There's no way around that, andwhen we avoid it we get bigger
and bigger irritations in ourlife until we finally find a way
to get in touch with it.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Yeah.
So let's talk, let's jump inand talk about your book.
So he has a new book.
It's called the third element.
Right, here's the cover I love,I love the key.
I was like, oh, I really likethe cover, I like, I really like
the simplicity of it, but itlike it's like oh, what's the
missing key of law of attraction?
So you call emotions themissing key to manifestation.
(04:20):
Why do you believe emotions,rather than mindset alone, are
the true driving force?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Everything in the universe fits into one of three
categories, or three elements,as I say our thoughts, our
thinking, mind and thoughts, andinformation our body and the
physical world.
And the third, and the mostimportant, is our emotions.
And emotions are bigger thantime and space.
We want to feel good.
It's an emotion to feel good,to be joyous, to be happy, to be
enthusiastic.
(04:48):
So we educate ourselves to besmart, we work hard, so we'll
feel, but then we turn off ouremotions.
How are we going to feel good?
And we turn them off?
And, more importantly, thepower of feeling good attracts
more good and the power ofreleasing old, painful emotions
allows space for more good.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Absolutely.
Can you maybe share a powerfultransformation story, either of
your own or clients, that reallyillustrates the power of the
third element in action?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I'll talk about a CEO I worked with whose son was
having some drug addictionchallenges and he was not able
to connect with his son and hehad his own emotional journey to
go through.
So I guided him to the idea, Iheld the space for him and we
talked over a matter of weeksand he got to a place where he
was able to feel his own painaround his son's challenge not
(05:40):
fix his son's challenge, but tofeel his own pain.
And when he did and he gotthrough it and he felt that pain
, then suddenly he was able toconnect with his son and his son
was able to make breakthroughs.
But first the gift to him wasto be able to get through his
own pain and that changesrelationship with his son
drastically in a better, in anamazingly better way.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Oh, I love that.
That sounds amazing.
Like what a journey and atransformation for him and his
son.
Like, oh, I love that.
So your book blends sciencewith spirituality.
Can you maybe give us anexample of how those two worlds
converge in your work today?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Okay, well, everything in the world is
energy from a point of physicsor chemistry or engineering, and
we learn that in electricalcharges opposites attract, but
in resonance, in vibrational,resonance like attracts, like.
So things that are similar toeach other are attracted to each
(06:38):
other through sympatheticresonance.
And that's science, that'stuning forks, that's a whole lot
more things, radio waves, etc.
And so in our life, the worldis co-created for us by the law
of attraction.
Every moment of every day it'snot like oh, I'm gonna manifest
something, I'm gonna call thisin.
Now.
It's happening all the time.
So our thoughts resonate, ouractions resonate and our
(07:00):
emotions resonate at anenergetic level.
And in science science againeverything's energy.
In our life, everything isenergy.
So our emotions have an energyof their own and they're very
valid in the moment.
If we feel them completely inthe moment.
They pass, they're gone, theywere useful.
But once the moment has passed,if we didn't feel that pain
completely, it's stored withinus, it resonates at a certain
(07:24):
frequency and it obligates thelaw of attraction to bring us
reminders.
And those irritations, thosegifts of irritation, are
reminders.
And now, as I explain in thebook, we're able to go through
steps to get in touch with thatand release that energy and then
good replaces that old, painfulenergy.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
So, while writing this book, was there maybe a
particular emotional block orpattern in your own life that
you had to confront in order tounlock your own abundance and
clarity?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Well, over the four years it took me to write the
book, every single issue I hadto go back through at a deeper
level.
It wasn't because I wanted to,it was because I was asked to,
and one of them that I was shownabout a year ago is some
neighbors I was dealing withwere basically telling lies and
attacking me in a certain way,and so I had to go back to turn
(08:15):
the other cheek, which is whichmeans to me respond from a place
of love.
Now I can set boundaries, I canrespond appropriately, I can
use intelligent behavior torespond, but at the same time I
need to find a place withinmyself to say what am I feeling
that I can heal?
When I work through thathealing, then it's easy to
(08:36):
respond in love and say thankyou for the gift.
And so when I did that, I hadto go back through it again.
I've gone through it many times,but I went through it one more
time and I found a way to find agift in the challenge and truly
be thankful and send love tothose who were attacking me.
And when I did, then thesituation resolved itself
magically.
It's not magic at all, and Iexplain that again in the book.
(08:57):
It's not magic at all.
It's just a matter of we'recalled on to look at things from
a different perspective, andwhen we choose to do that, then
the universe responds withmagical gifts and miracles.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Absolutely, and you kind of just touched upon this
how do you personally processand stay present with difficult
emotions, especially duringtimes of stress and uncertainty?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Oh, you're assuming I do all the time.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
I don't think you do.
I try to.
I really try to but it's, youknow, it's weird and I apologize
I hijacked your moment here,but it's.
It's feels like I don't knowabout you, but right now, stress
, anxiety, tension, frustration,like we're in the United States
I believe you're in the UnitedStates and I'm'm in New York and
(09:44):
there's a lot of very, very,very angry people.
So somebody like yourself who'svery spiritually minded we're
talking about law of attractionand you've got to be present and
how do we stay above the frayin this time of chaos and
uncertainty?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Yeah, it comes slowly over time, snowball effect.
So we start small and as wehave small wins, so to speak,
and we get good results and ourfaith builds our faith builds
more and more, we eventually getto a place.
First of all, we get to atipping point of, oh, there's
some issues coming up.
I know that it's going to beeasier to dive into the pain
(10:23):
than it is to ignore the pain.
And when I dive into the painit's short, it's temporary, it's
not as big as my mind makes itout to be, and then my physical
world improves.
And eventually we get to theplace where we say, okay, I'm
having a challenge, I know Ineed to go here.
Then later we get to a placewhere, oh, I'm having this
challenge and I can go here nowby breathing, by journaling, by
(10:46):
EFT tapping, by going throughfor a walk, by just gratitude,
by stopping and finding thingsI'm grateful for, and those can
be small.
We can recognize beauty in aflower growing through a crack
in the sidewalk in a city.
We can be thankful for eitherrain or a beautiful sunny blue
sky, whatever that might be.
And when we get that place ofgratitude, when we slow down and
(11:10):
we take a breath and feel ourbody and we stop and realize,
hey, this is okay and weremember this is a gift.
When we do that, our worldchanges instantly, and it's a
habit.
It takes time to build up thehabit.
So in the book I talk about somethings that people can work
with.
In chapter seven there's 14different exercises we can do.
(11:30):
Find what works for you andstart small, and faith will
build.
And as our faith builds, thenthe answers come easier and life
gets easier.
I wrote this book because mylife works really well, but if I
go back 35 years ago, it was achallenge.
So I want people to understandfirst and then be bold enough to
(11:51):
take a different approach andthen find results within the
approach and then say, wow, lifeis good, life can be a game and
it can be a fun game that I nowknow how to win.
Just take some time and effort.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Absolutely, I'm know how to win.
Just take some time and effort.
Absolutely, I'm going to askyou this why do you feel that
some people are not comfortableto dive into the pain?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Oh, that was easy for me because I was intelligent
and strong.
And strong, intelligent peopleare really good at avoiding
their pain.
We make up excuses, we finddistractions, we say we're tough
, we push it aside and it hurts.
So ego, which is a valid partof us, we don't have to kill the
ego.
The ego partners with ourhigher self through our
(12:35):
intuition and with our childself to deal with our emotions
and our joy and creativity.
And when we look at, oh okay, Igot to deal with this, the ego
says this is going to hurt.
We're going to avoid it.
So a part of our mind can stillsay wait a minute, I want a
better life.
I'm going to teach my ego topartner with my higher self.
I'm going to teach my ego thatthere can, we can have me.
(13:02):
The ego can have a better lifethrough addressing my emotional
pain and we and that's why weavoid it because it hurts.
But once we start down the path, I guarantee it gets better and
better and life improves.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Absolutely, and it gets easier.
Like you said, it's not thisbig mountain, it becomes a small
, like mohel it really does.
Once you can kind of go throughit and go through the steps,
it's like, oh okay, here, thisis again.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
And then the lessons don't get so loud and they don't
slam in your face like it'slike.
This joy is a gift, this is agift and I'm gonna and I'm gonna
guarantee something else aswell, which is when we get
through the bigger challengesand we can have an emoting let
go of the emotion, let go of thepain.
Even as a man cry the tears,feel it yeah okay, we're human.
I don't care how tough we are,we're supposed to be or have to
be at times.
We're human and so when we feelthat and we have the release,
then the bigger the release, themore we'll feel that rush of
(13:55):
love, wonderful, warm,supportive energy rush into our
body and our being to be therefor us.
And that was what reallybrought me back to emotional
clearing, as I knew, okay, thisis going to hurt for a moment
and then I'm going to feel somuch better and that's what kept
me coming back again and again.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
I respect the fact that you were willing to come
back to it again and again,knowing that there was something
at the end of this.
That's amazing.
So, as the purpose-drivenleader, I do have some questions
.
So, many people associatebusiness success with logic and
hustle.
How do you guide clients tointegrate spiritual grounding
(14:32):
without losing that drive forresults?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Well, as a leader, that means we're leading people.
We're not working by ourselvesand our results depend on our
team and our team is going torespond to us depending on how
we interact with them.
So when they realize that weare a service driven leader, I'm
here to serve my team and myteam knows that and, more
(14:56):
importantly, they feel thatthrough my actions, my behavior
and me showing up clear andvulnerable and stable and
consistent.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Then they say oh, randy's on my side.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
What's Randy's goals.
I'm on board with this becauseI know Randy's gonna support me.
Randy the leader, the leader'sgonna support me.
The leader's gonna find waysfor me to succeed and I'm here
for myself.
My leader's here for me.
I'm on board with the mission.
So then, when we create thatenvironment within the team that
the team members know it'sabout them and it's about them
succeeding, and we give themcredit and we do recognize and
(15:30):
acknowledge them and they feellike they're contributing, they
belong, suddenly we have awinning team and those people
show up and they bring theirbest.
That's how I win as a leader.
It's not about me, it's notabout my authority, it's does
the team understand and, moreimportantly, feel that I'm there
to support them and help themfind success.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I really like that answer.
So you talk about creating aculture of belonging in business
.
What does that look like inpractice, and how can leaders
foster that kind of environment?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Well, first of all, the leader has to be clear
within their own being and beaware of their emotions.
We don't have to be completely,perfectly clear and healed, we
have to be on the way.
We have to be aware, we have tobe doing the work to write down
our outside logical challenges,and either we have a logical
answer or maybe a little deeper.
We have a feeling associatedwith the frustration and the
(16:22):
challenge, with the frustrationand the challenge.
When leaders are able toacknowledge their feelings, then
when they show up interacting,that feeling isn't in their
subconscious trying to push itsway into every interaction.
Now it's been acknowledged andwe are aware of it and we can
deal with it and when the righttime and space makes us
(16:42):
available.
But in the meantime thatfeeling isn't trying to push its
way into our consciousness,it's already there.
Now we can show up moreintelligent, we can show up more
clear, and another thing we cando, aside from acknowledging
our feelings, is to listen more.
And in human interactions weping pong back and forth and
(17:02):
while the other person's talking, I'm trying to formulate my
response.
And as leaders, you wereintelligent.
Stop trying to respond.
Slow down, know and trust.
The answer will come when it'ssupposed to and when that person
stops talking, pause and givethem an opportunity to say more.
They're probably going to saymore and if you can tell they're
(17:23):
emotionally charged, don'trespond.
Ask more questions and givethem an opportunity to just get
it all out.
Now, when they've gotten it allout and they feel they've been
heard, because we truly heardthem, maybe we mirror back a
word or two.
Now, when we have something tosay, they're not formulating a
response.
They've emptied their cup andthey're ready to receive from us
(17:45):
and hear what we have to say.
Not only are they going to hearwhat we have to say, they're
going to realize we cared enoughto listen.
Now, this is an investment intime, but the investment is huge
.
Imagine walking into a group ofpeople and you find they're
solving a problem without you.
Imagine people coming into youroffice and they say, yeah, I've
got a problem and I think thisis the solution.
(18:06):
We've already talked about it.
Those are what we do throughhelping people, through group
problem solving, throughteaching people how to approach
problem solving, and tolistening to the people in our
teams and on our teams and inour companies who have ideas and
helping them feel that they'reimportant.
It takes a big time investmentof time, but the return is huge
(18:28):
and the profitability is huge.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Absolutely.
Oh, I love that answer so much.
I really do.
I really do.
For those that may be skepticalabout emotional intelligence or
spirituality, especially in thebusiness world, how do you help
them open to this deeper innerwork?
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Well, first they have to be somewhat open to it, and
then I take them through some ofthe processes that I outlined
in the book.
The Third Element, which is tofirst do some journaling, become
aware of where we might havesome feelings and some emotions,
dive deeper into those througheither continued journaling,
through breath work, throughtapping, acupuncture, massage,
(19:08):
working out, beating, getting aplastic bat and beating the hell
out of a pillow and getting therage out.
These are simple things, it'sdifferent for everybody but
first we identify it and then wehave to be, have an open mind
and say it's at the intent.
I'm willing to deal with this.
And when a leader is open tothat, they're already aware that
they're not showing up ascomplete and as calm and
(19:31):
confident as they can be, andwhen they're already aware of
that and then they have theintent, it's easy to take them
down that road and it's reallyeasy to get some positive
results right away that they can, that they can use to show up
more complete when they interactwith their team or even their
board meeting.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah, I love that.
So what are some common ways?
Unprocessed emotions subtlysabotage our personal growth or
success, without us evenrealizing it.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
The people that we love the most, who we really
want to hear what we have to say.
They're typically the ones whoare bringing those gifts to us
in the way of irritations,Whether it's people we respect
at work, whether it's people inour family, whoever that might
be Now, it can also just be astranger on the street who cuts
us off in traffic, or it can bean employee we don't know that
(20:21):
well who irritates us, but a lotof times it's those who we are
closest to who bring us thebiggest lessons.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
I would agree with you.
I'm just thinking about my ownlike oh dear.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
No, and the thing I mean here's something to add
those who we are closest to weare the safe, we feel the safest
, responding to with logic andreason and pushing back.
When we feel safe with somebody, we're ready to push back and
the pushback isn't the answer.
If we have to set boundaries orspeak our mind, we do, but if
back and the pushback isn't theanswer, if we have to set
boundaries or speak our mind, wedo, but if we do it with
emotional charge, that doesn'thelp us.
(20:59):
Right, if we look internallyand say, where's my emotional
charge to this relationship orthis interaction, that's our
gift and that's the key tofinding where we can heal, and
then we no longer need thatperson in our life, reactivating
us and bringing us that gift.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I really like the idea of looking within yourself
to where is this emotionalcharge?
Because it may not even be likethe person in front of you.
It's like you said, it's atrigger that's inside of us that
we need to work on and we needto.
It probably isn't that personyou know that's bringing it to
the I'm like can you tell?
I'm thinking of my own personalstuff.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
How often, rachel, have you or anybody out there
watching been able to change thepeople in our world around us,
and how hard is that?
It's not easy.
We're not in control.
And yet if we turn to ourselfand say, how can I change my
mindset, how can I change myactions, how can I get in touch
with some old feelings that Ihave and work through those,
we're in complete control whenwe take that approach.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Absolutely, and the thing is like you don't want to
feel out of control, like youwant to be able to recognize
what's going on within you.
And let me ask you thisquestion why do you feel like a
lot of people don't want to feelwithin their bodies?
I feel like a lot of people,even spiritual people.
They spend a lot of time out inthe ethers and they're not
connected to their body.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
Well, one it's the ego doesn't want to say I'm
wrong and I need to change.
The other is we've seen peoplearound us who are emotional and
their life's a wreck.
So just because we feel ouremotions doesn't mean we're
going to make decisions based onemotions, doesn't mean we're
going to react emotionally andwe need to separate.
Okay, these are the feelings Ineed to work through and these
(22:44):
are people outside of me whoreact and make decisions based
on emotion.
And when we realize we can feeland process our emotions
without them negatively,adversely affecting our reality,
then we have that understanding.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Then it's easier to address our emotions.
Yeah, I like that.
I like that.
So you call this work amovement for emotional
liberation.
What does emotional freedommean to you, and how can we
begin to experience this ineveryday life?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
freedom- mean to you and how can we begin to
experience this in everyday life?
Well, first of all, I thinkit's the third and final
evolution slash revolution ofmankind.
We had the industrialrevolution 120 years ago, we had
the informational revolutionover the last 30 years and now
the third and final revolutionis the emotional revolution, the
evolution of mankind, where westart to look at, okay, what is
(23:35):
the underlying emotion I'mdealing with?
And then be compassionate forpeople who are going through
their own emotional revolution.
And we can still address themwith logic and reason, we can
still set boundaries and stateour needs and wants and desires.
But when we start looking atand being aware of the emotional
side of being human, people aregoing to see us differently.
(23:58):
And here's the irony when we candeal with emotions from a place
of calm and confidence andbeing rational, then people say,
wow, this man or woman is ableto show up, be vulnerable.
And I still see their strengthand they're strong even though
they're vulnerable.
Holy cow, there's some realstrength here in this person,
(24:20):
and that's how leaders today,the best leaders, are showing up
.
They're showing up with theirtrue self.
They share some of theirfailures, they share some of
their fears and, at the sametime, they share their
confidence in the teams thatthey're leading that together.
This is what we can accomplishand that's where leadership is
headed.
And this is this is really thelast missing key, not only in
(24:42):
the law of attraction but in theevolution of mankind.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Absolutely, absolutely.
So, before I ask you the lastquestion, where is the best
place for anyone that wants tolearn more about the purpose
driven leader?
Where is the best place foranyone that wants to learn more
about the purpose-driven leader?
The third element, which, soeveryone knows, is the number
one new release in motivationalgrowth and spirituality book,
which is amazing.
What is the best place for themto go to?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
The best place is on my website, randylymancom.
On there they can click on alink to buy the book.
They can click on a link tojoin our community and get
updates, real-time updates onchanges and live events and free
offers that we have.
So randylimoncom is the easiestway to connect and also,
(25:24):
depending on their choice of asocial media platform, they can
connect through social media aswell.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Awesome, Thank you so much.
So for listeners who feelemotionally stuck, disconnected
or burned out, what is onepractical step they can take
today to begin shifting intogreater alignment and abundance?
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Well, I'm going to give you two.
One is write down yourchallenges so you can release
them from your mind and yourworry.
And then the most importantthing is realize that every
single one of us you meaningeveryone out there is deserving
of wonderful, beautiful life,deserving of love and deserving
of success.
And no matter what bs storyanybody's told you about
(26:03):
yourself, you are a spark ofdivine creation.
I gotta slow down.
I get so fired up and wired andhappy.
We're all a spark of divinecreation and we all are
deserving of love and successand know that and find a way to
feel that within yourself.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Oh, I love that answer so much, randy.
Thank you so much for coming onthis virtual spotlight series.
It's truly been amazing toconnect with you today, thank
you.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
You're welcome, Rachel.
It's been a lot of fun.
Thanks for having me.
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