92: Non-negotiables in Relationships

Foundations of Non-Negotiables:

• Non-negotiables are essential boundaries influenced by upbringing and experiences.
• They range from major (e.g., dishonesty) to minor (e.g., sharing passwords) and are not open for discussion.
• Common non-negotiables: trust, respect, shared values, and views on children.
• Understanding your non-negotiables is crucial before entering a relationship to communicate effectively.

Communicating Non-Negotiables:

• Discuss non-negotiables clearly and early to avoid painful outcomes.
• Effective communication fosters mutual respect and accountability.
• Tips for early discussions include expressing intentions and casually mentioning future goals.
• Use "I-feel" statements and explore values behind opinions during tough conversations.

Navigating Conflicts Around Non-Negotiables:

• Clashes are inevitable; understanding the importance of each non-negotiable is key.
• Clear communication and willingness to understand differing viewpoints can help.
• Evaluate if a compromise is possible or if it's better to part ways.

Seeking professional guidance can assist in resolving conflicts based on values.

Call to action: Self-knowledge exercise! Identify 2 possible non-negotiables in your relationship (if you’re in one) or in yourself. Ask yourself why each of those non-negotiables is important to you - where did it come from? How important is it to you? Is it valued in your current relationship? How should I communicate this to a partner?

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