When They Fly, You Can Soar: Finding Yourself After Senior Year

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Graduation isn't just a major life transition for our kids—it's one for parents too. When your child walks across that stage, you're not losing your purpose, you're redefining it; your identity isn't ending, it's evolving.

• May brings a weird blend of adrenaline and dread for parents of graduating seniors
• The emotional blindside of this transition often catches parents unprepared
• Letting go is one of parenting's hardest challenges but necessary for growth
• Family rhythm changes dramatically when children leave home
• Five intentional steps to help parents let go without losing themselves:
 - Teach them to own responsibilities before they leave
 - Help them understand not everything is an emergency
 - Shift from being a director to a guide
 - Model humility and grace
 - Talk about disappointment and resilience
• This transition marks your opportunity to rediscover what lights you up
• Your parenting role is evolving, not ending

If you're finding yourself unsure of what comes next, The link to the calendar is in the show notes. You're not benched—you're being repositioned for something new.

Let's create your transition gameplan:
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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Is there a major life transition benching you?
I know you may be asking what'snext?
What's my purpose?
What if?
Because I've asked those too.
Welcome to the Start yourComeback podcast.
I'm Toni Thrash, a certifiedlife coach, and I want to share
the tools and practical steps tohelp you create a winning game

(00:23):
plan to move into your newadventure.
Hi, welcome back.

(00:57):
You're listening to episode 84of Start your Comeback.
Today, I want to talk straightto the parents, especially the
ones who are watching theirseniors get ready to graduate,
maybe this week or soon.
I remember May of 2009, and thenagain in 2013.

(01:18):
My boys were graduating fromhigh school, one after the other
, the first to leave.
That was tough, but when thelast one left, that's when I
felt like I was standing inemotional quicksand.
May is a beautiful but brutalmonth for parents of seniors.
There's this weird blend ofadrenaline and dread that kicks

(01:41):
in all at once and it doesn'tlet up very easily.
But this episode isn't reallyabout your kid.
It's about you, because thetruth is, when your child
graduates, you enter a newtransition too, and most parents
aren't ready for that emotionalblindside.

(02:03):
You see, the real shift startslong before graduation day.
Honestly, it begins right atthe end of junior year ACT, sat
prep, senior pictures, collegeapplications and a slow but
steady declaration from yourteen that goes something like

(02:23):
I'm grown now.
Don't tell me what to do.
Suddenly you're living with astranger who wants to do life
their way but still eat yourgroceries.
Meanwhile you're trying tojuggle invitations, class rings,
cap and gown orders the last ofthe banquets award nights.
You're running on fumes because, well, it's the last of the

(02:44):
banquets award nights.
You're running on fumes because, well, it's the last time.
And the emotions they're allover the place.
I cried a lot sad tears, happytears and, if I'm being honest,
some angry ones too, becausethey start pushing back hard and

(03:05):
you realize this is thehealthiest separation God built
into this process, but itdoesn't make it hurt any less.
We act like we're fine.
But then it happens the daycomes.
You sit through the ceremony,you take the pictures and you
come home to a quieter house.

(03:27):
When my oldest left for collegehe was just 45 minutes away and
I cried the whole 45 minuteshome after we dropped him off.
But two weeks later he calledto say he was going to quit
school, withdraw and move toCalifornia to chase a music
career.
We didn't know anyone there.

(03:49):
He didn't have a job, just adream a room in a rented house
with other musicians and a sidehustle teaching tennis.
But he had a gift and, eventhough it broke my heart, we let
him go, because God didn't givehim that gift.
For us to hold him back,letting go it's one of the

(04:10):
hardest things I've ever done,but it taught me this they're
not ours to control, they areours to guide, raise and release
.
No one prepares you for how thefamily rhythm changes going from
four to three, cooking less,the laundry piles are smaller,

(04:35):
going out to eat and not needingto ask for a table of four.
And rumor has it, when theycome home for Thanksgiving or
Christmas, they're not the samekid, they're kind of this
in-between, not quite adults,not quite kids, still trying to
figure out who they are and whatthey're doing.

(04:56):
And you're still learning howto parent them while also
relearning who you are.
That's the part we don't talkabout enough.
But here's the good news youdon't have to fall into the pit
of loss.
This isn't the bench.
It's the start of your comebacktoo.

(05:17):
To get you off of the bench,there's five intentional steps
to help you let go withoutlosing yourself.
Number one teach them to own itbefore they leave it.
In other words, laundry,cooking, budgeting Start handing

(05:38):
over the reins senior year.
It won't be done perfectly, itwon't be done the way that you
do it, but that's not the point.
You're building capability, notperfection.
Number two teach them that noteverything is an emergency.
Stress management matters morethan a GPA.

(05:58):
Time management, emotionalregulation, prioritization these
are the tools that carry themfurther than any diploma ever
will.
Number three you have to shiftfrom being a director to a guide
.
Ask questions, listen withoutfixing.

(06:18):
Let them lead thedecision-making process with
your support, not your control.
This is how they learn to trustthemselves and it's how you
learn to trust the process.
Number four be a model ofhumility and grace.
Celebrate their friends.
Cheer for the other kids'achievements Envy has no place

(06:42):
here.
Achievements Envy has no placehere.
This is the season to be theirbiggest encourager, not the
critic or competitor.
And finally, number five talkabout disappointment and
resilience.
Not everything's going to workout, and that's okay.
But you see, disappointment itisn't failure, that's okay.
But you see, disappointment itisn't failure, it's preparation.

(07:06):
Help them see grit andcharacter as the greater win,
even when they don't get thetrophy.
Let me say this loud and clearwhen your kid walks across that
stage, you're not losing yourpurpose, you're redefining it.
Your identity isn't ending,it's evolving.

(07:26):
There's life after carpools andcollege apps.
There's purpose beyond snackduty and late night
heart-to-hearts and late-nightheart-to-hearts.
It's now your turn to dreamagain, to rediscover what lights
you up, to get off that benchand back into the game.

(07:48):
Graduation marks a transitionfor your child, for your family,
but it also marks atransformation beginning for you
.
Yes, it's emotional and yesit's hard, but you have what it
takes to let go with grace andstep forward with purpose, the
skills, grit and wisdom you'vepoured into them.
Now it's time to pour some ofthat into yourself.

(08:08):
If you're finding yourselfunsure of what comes next, let's
talk.
I offer coaching for parentsjust like you navigating this
transition and wondering what'snext.
It's time to start your combat,not someday, but today.
Take a look at the websitetonythrashcom to schedule a free

(08:31):
discovery call.
The link to the calendar is inthe show notes Because you see,
you're not benched.
You're being repositioned forsomething new, something bold
and something that's just deeplyyou.
Now, if you find yourselfsending the last one off to
college and leering ahead of youis the empty nest stage, then

(08:57):
you won't want to miss next week.
That's the topic that we'regoing to cover and I'm going to
give you some strategies on howto reawaken your purpose and
discover what's next in thisphase of your life.
Thanks for being here.
I'll see you next time.
Hey, thanks for listening.
I don't take it for grantedthat you're here.

(09:18):
You didn't listen by mistake.
If you want to reach out, youcan DM me on Instagram at Tony
Thrash Until next week.
Remember, there's still timeleft on the clock.
Let's get you off the bench tostart your comeback.
I want to give a special shoutout to Country Club for the
original music.
You can find them on Instagramat Country Club.

(09:41):
Thank you.