You Can Rise Again: Tools for Decision-Making in Times of Shock

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The moment when life pulls the rug out from under you doesn't just bring shock—it opens the door for doubt to flood in. Whether you're facing divorce, job loss, an empty nest, or an unexpected diagnosis, that one-two punch can leave you questioning everything, even your ability to make basic decisions.

Having walked through my own devastating transition when my marriage ended, I remember sitting on my living room couch feeling like the air had been sucked out of the room. The questions came immediately: What now? What did I do wrong? Can I even come back from this? That's doubt moving in while you're still reeling from shock.

Doubt is particularly dangerous because it masquerades as rational thinking. It whispers that you're not strong enough, that you'll never bounce back, that perhaps you weren't meant for more. But here's the truth—doubt isn't discernment. It's fear with a megaphone, offering you safety in exchange for smallness, wanting you to shrink your dreams and ultimately settle. You weren't made just to survive, especially not in these pivotal moments.

In this episode, I share five practical tools to break the doubt cycle during shock: naming it aloud, anchoring to truth, phoning a friend who can hold faith for you, journaling doubts alongside truth, and using prayer as your lifeline. These strategies help you regain clarity before making any major decisions.

I'm also thrilled to announce my first book, "Start Your Comeback," releasing late fall 2025! The book draws from years of walking through transitions and coaching others through theirs. Until then, join me next week as we continue this series on doubt and decision-making in the limbo stage.  Remember, the scoreboard doesn't close until God says so—your comeback story is still being written. Ready to take that first step? Schedule a coaching call today.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Is there a major life transition benching you?
I know you may be asking what'snext?
What's my purpose?
What if?
Because I've asked those too.
Welcome to the Start yourComeback podcast.
I'm Toni Thrash, a certifiedlife coach, and I want to share
the tools and practical steps tohelp you create a winning game

(00:23):
plan to move into your newadventure.
Hi, welcome back.

(00:57):
You are listening to episode 86.
I have got some exciting newsto share with you.
I have got some exciting newsto share with you.
I am currently writing my veryfirst book, start your Comeback,
and it's set to release,hopefully late fall of 2025.
This book has been a long timecoming and is born out of years
of walking through real lifetransitions, coaching others

(01:20):
through theirs and learning howto build a comeback strategy
when life knocks you flat.
It's packed with honest stories, hard-won lessons and game
plans to help you rise againstronger, wiser and more
anchored in who you are.
I can't wait to get it in yourhands.
Stay tuned.
But today I want to talk aboutdoubt in the wake of shock, like

(01:44):
when transitions shake yourfaith and your decision-making.
We're getting honest about adouble hit that life often
throws at us the shock of atransition and the doubt that
floods in right after, doubtthat floods in right after.

(02:08):
Whether it's divorce, an emptynest, a job loss or a diagnosis
you never saw coming,transitions have a way of
pulling the rug out from underyou.
And when you're down, doubtdoesn't knock.
It walks right on in.
Over the course of the next fewweeks, we're going to be
talking about doubt anddecision-making in every stage
of a life transition.

(02:29):
Today I'm going to weave indecision-making through shock.
Let's get into it.
You know shock, it's something Italk about on the regular
around here.
It's a physiological and anemotional shutdown.
It's what happens when the lifeyou knew abruptly changes and

(02:50):
your mind scrambles to processsomething it didn't prepare for.
You may feel frozen, stare atthe wall, you lose track of time
, you forget what day it is andyou second-guess even the
simplest decisions.
It's not a weakness, it's human.

(03:12):
Shock can be caused by a suddenloss or betrayal, a medical
diagnosis, an empty nest, acareer being yanked away without
warning, a career being yankedaway without warning, or
retirement.
And in that daze that shockbrings here comes doubt, dressed
up like a friend offeringreality checks.

(03:34):
But doubt is actually theintruder in the transition.
It shows up, disguised as logic.
It whispers things like maybeI'm not strong enough for this.
What if I never bounce back?
Did I miss God's voice?
Maybe I wasn't meant for more?

(03:57):
I can't even think to make adecision.
Doubt feeds off of shock'ssilence.
It loves an unanchored mind.
It thrives when the questionsoutnumber the answers.
And here's the truth If you'renot careful, you'll start
believing.

(04:17):
Doubt is discernment, but it'snot.
It's fear with a megaphone, butit's not.
It's fear with a megaphone.
I remember a time and season ofdeep personal shock, the moment
I realized my marriage wasending.
I was sitting on my living roomcouch and, I swear, the air
left the room.
The conversation was over, thedecision was made and I felt

(04:43):
like I'd just gotten benched inthe championship game of my life
.
And my first thought was whatnow?
Where do I go?
The second thought or questionwas what did I do wrong?

(05:09):
And third, can I even come backfrom this?
Because, you see, shock had setin.
Doubt moved in.
Here's the thing Doubt is loud,but it's not the final voice.
It affects every decision thatyou make and when you are in
shock, it's all you can decideis to just get out of bed the

(05:29):
next day, you see, doubt feelsso convincing.
Why?
Because it pretends to protectyou.
It offers you safety inexchange for smallness.
It offers you safety inexchange for smallness.
It wants you to shrink yourdreams, stop trying, stay silent

(05:54):
and, worst of all, settle.
But you weren't made to justsurvive.
Although in shock, this is whatwe're doing is surviving.
You were made to rise up evenfrom this, especially from this.

(06:14):
I've got five tools to help youbreak the doubt cycle.
This is your let's just call ityour game plan to quiet doubt
during the shock stage.
Number one you name it Out loud, say it out loud.
I'm in shock.
And this is doubt.
Clarity weakens fear's grip andstarts to get rid of the doubt.

(06:38):
Number two you've got to anchorto truth.
What do you know about yourself?
What do you know about God?
What do you know about yourhistory of comeback?
Think on those things.
Number three phone a friend.
You heard me phone a friend.

(06:59):
You need people who can holdfaith for you when yours is
shaky.
This is not the time to isolate.
This is the time to bring inthose close people to help you
not doubt yourself and to heartruth.
And number five, finally mostpeople don't like this one, but

(07:21):
I say it every time.
Finally, most people don't likethis one, but I say it every
time.
Journal the doubt, Write it downand then write down the truth
next to each lie.
Call it out and call it what itis Doubt and fear.
All of these steps will beginto help in your decision making,
because it's real when you arein shock, you aren't sure what

(07:44):
is real and what isn't.
These steps will help you beginto come out of the shock and be
able to make good, soliddecisions.
Let me add here that making anybig decisions need to wait
until you have come through thisshock phase.
There's a verse that's beentattooed on my wrist for a

(08:04):
reason.
It's 1 Thessalonians 5 17.
Pray without ceasing.
When you're in the shock phase,when nothing feels solid,
prayer is your lifeline.
It's not fancy or perfect, it'sdesperate.
It's real.
It sounds like it's desperate,it's real.

(08:26):
It sounds like God.
I don't get this.
I don't like this, but I'lltrust you'll use this.
That's come background.
I remember going for multiplewalks a day to just pray.
Pray because nothing felt real,but I knew that my relationship
with Jesus was solid.
Doubt is part of our transitions, every single one of them.

(08:48):
We wonder if we've made theright decision.
But it doesn't get to writeyour ending.
You are still in the story,still in the game, and the
scoreboard doesn't close untilGod says so.
You've survived too much, solet doubt hold you hostage.

(09:09):
Now let's talk.
If you're navigating a shockseason and doubt has gotten
louder than your hope, schedulea coaching call with me today.
You don't have to do this aloneand you don't have to stay
where you are.
The first step out of doubt ischoosing to believe there is a
comeback and that it starts withone small decision today.

(09:32):
Next week we'll talk aboutdecision-making during the limbo
phase and then follow that bythe re-entry phase.
But the whole purpose andsequence of these episodes are
to build some doubt resiliencein you.
So stick around.
You won't want to miss it.
I'll see you next time.

(09:53):
Hey, thanks for listening.
I don't take it for grantedthat you're here.
You didn't listen by mistake.
If you want to reach out, youcan DM me on Instagram at Tony
Thrash Until next week.
Remember, there's still timeleft on the clock.
Let's get you off the bench tostart your comeback.
I want to give a special shoutout to Country Club for the

(10:16):
original music.
You can find them on Instagramat Country Club.
Thank you.