Locked Away? This Isn't Timeout—It's a Divine Reset

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Feeling stuck in a holding pattern? You're not alone. Life's major transitions—divorce, job loss, empty nesting, or losing a loved one—can plunge us into what feels like solitary confinement. Not the restful solitude we sometimes crave, but the punishing isolation that whispers lies about our worth and future.

This episode explores the profound difference between sacred solitude and destructive isolation. When we're suddenly "benched" from the game of life, the shock gives way to a storm of emotions: anger at what we've lost, sadness for what changed, fear of being forgotten, and a loneliness that settles deep in our bones. The silence becomes deafening, isolating us further.

But there's hope in this holding pattern. Like Paul and Silas singing at midnight in their prison cell, our breakthrough begins when we open our mouths. The walls that seem impenetrable can crumble when we refuse to remain silent. What feels like punishment may actually be preparation—not a timeout, but a divine reset that's positioning you for what comes next. Your time on the bench isn't wasted; it's establishing the foundation for your comeback story.

If you feel locked away by life circumstances, remember: stillness doesn't have to mean surrender. It might be the quiet space where you finally hear what God has been whispering all along. Your isolation isn't your identity—it's just a temporary season before your next chapter begins.

Don't miss next week's episode as we begin a three-week series on "How do you know when it's time to leave?" whether it's your marriage, job, or friendship relationship. Remember, there's still time left on the clock for your comeback story.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Is there a major life transition benching you?
I know you may be asking what'snext?
What's my purpose?
What if?
Because I've asked those too.
Welcome to the Start yourComeback Podcast.
I'm Toni Thrash, a certifiedlife coach, and I want to share
the tools and practical steps tohelp you create a winning game

(00:23):
plan to move into your newadventure.
Hi, welcome back.

(00:57):
You're listening to episode 93.
You know it's been a busysummer for me.
I finally finished the roughdraft for my book and now the
first round of edits are back.
Now I'm knee-deep in rewrites,marketing plans, book cover
design and possibly some merch.

(01:17):
My head has been down and I'mworking hard to finish it up
before I go back to work inAugust.
You might say I've put myself insolitary confinement.
I've turned on the do notdisturb on my phone so I can
work in my peak hours.
It is a benefit to be there soI can focus.

(01:38):
However, not everyoneexperiences it in the same
manner, especially if you'rewalking through a major life
transition.
So today I want to talk aboutit.
What is solitary confinement?
Here's the definition.
Solitary confinement is a formof imprisonment in which a

(02:00):
prisoner is isolated from anyhuman contact.
Sometimes that doesn't sound sobad, but I can only imagine if
it were long-term.
Maybe this is you, or maybeit's someone who's close to you.
You're in an unseen jail cell.
Social isolation is the mostdamaging thing in solitary

(02:23):
confinement.
It has you in a place ofabsolute silence.
You can't reach out and no onecan reach in.
The walls are too high and toothick Because you are socially
untouchable.
It triggers lots of physical,emotional and mental symptoms.

(02:43):
Physical, emotional and mentalsymptoms.
In an article George Dvorskysays this human beings are
social creatures.
Without the benefit of anotherperson to bounce off of, our
mind decays.
Without anything to do, thebrain atrophies.

(03:03):
And without the ability to seeoff in the distance, vision
fades.
Isolation and loss of controlbreed anger, anxiety and
helplessness.
The title of this article isare we in the midst of an
anxiety epidemic?
I'll put the link in the shownotes for you in case you want

(03:24):
to read it.
But see that silence of solitaryconfinement.
It's so loud it vibrates downto your bones.
You're not in a cell with bars,but you might as well be.
You're cut off, you're out ofsight, disconnected, maybe even
forgotten.

(03:44):
It wasn't supposed to be likethis, and yet here you are on
the bench on the sidelines, arelocked away in a solitary place
that feels more like exile thanrest.
Maybe you chose it, maybe itwas chosen for you.
One moment life was loud andfast, the next still and

(04:08):
suffocating.
You were active, needed in themix, and then suddenly you were
benched.
The lights faded, the crowdquieted, the doors shut and now
you're stuck watching everyoneelse or thinking about what
everyone else and how they'removing forward, while you sit in

(04:31):
a holding pattern, numb andunsure whether this is
punishment or protection.
This is the shock of the bench,the ache of going from the
center of the action toabsolutely alone.
Some of us got here becausesomeone decided to pull us out
of the action to absolutelyalone.
Some of us got here becausesomeone decided to pull us out
of the game.
They said hey, you need a break, or you're a little too much.

(04:55):
Or maybe they said nothing atall.
They just slowly disappeared.
Others of us have pulledourselves out.
We couldn't bear the weight ofwhat we were carrying the grief,
the guilt, the confusion, theshame.
So we backed away, trying toprotect others from our mess.

(05:18):
Solitary confinement can startin a whisper, but it ends up
with a scream.
You might not even know what tofeel right now.
The first stage of theconfinement is usually shock,
and you've heard me talk aboutshock on this podcast since day
one.
But once this numbness wearsoff, the storm hits.

(05:43):
You're angry, maybe at others,at God or maybe, most likely,
yourself.
You're sad, mourning what youlost, what changed, what you
thought would never happen.
You're afraid of never findingyour way back, of being totally

(06:07):
forgotten, of being too brokento be brought back to life.
You're lonely, and not justalone, but lonely in your bones,
in your soul and in the echochamber of your own mind.
You go through the motionswhile your spirit stays behind

(06:28):
bars.
But you know what.
You're not meant to stay here.
Solitary confinement lies toyou.
It will tell you that no onewants to see you, no one needs
you and no one understands.
But listen, you're not beingpunished, you're being prepared.

(06:52):
Let me remind you of the storyin Acts 16.
Paul and Silas were thrown intothe inner prison the deepest,
darkest part.
It was the kind of place youdon't get out of.
But at midnight they begin topray and to sing and the prison

(07:12):
shook to its foundations.
The doors flew open and everychain fell off.
You see, this isn't a metaphor,this is a principle.
Your comeback begins when youopen your mouth.
Maybe you're in solitaryconfinement, maybe you need to

(07:34):
sing, maybe you need to hearyourself pray out loud.
Your freedom begins when youopen your heart and let the Lord
move in it.
Don't be afraid of the silence,but don't get lost in it.
Solitude can be a sacred placeof quiet restoration, but

(08:00):
solitary confinement, that's awhole different beast.
That's not peace, it's pressure.
It's pacing the walls of yourmind, battling the deafening
echoes of rejection, abandonmentand shame.
So when divorce or any otherlife transition hits empty

(08:20):
nesting, the loss of a job maybeyou've lost your spouse it can
feel like being thrown into alocked cell with no one checking
in, no one calling back and noone holding your hand in the
dark.
This silence isn't comforting,it's punishing.

(08:41):
It whispers the lies and playstricks on your mind.
It messes with your sense oftime, your worth and your future
.
But here's the thing Stillnessdoesn't have to mean surrender.
Be still, yes, but notdisappear.
Be still so you can finallyhear what God is whispering into

(09:03):
the noise.
Let him speak purpose into yourpause.
This might not be a timeout, itmight just be your divine reset
.
But here's the thing Insolitary confinement, you have
to do the talking.
That's it for today.
I'm so glad you joined me.
Next week, I'm going to start athree-week series on how do you

(09:26):
know when it's time to leave.
Maybe it's your marriage, maybeit's your job, maybe it's just
a friendship, but you won't wantto miss it.
I'll see you next time.
Hey, thanks for listening.
I don't take it for grantedthat you're here.
You didn't listen by mistake.

(09:46):
If you want to reach out, youcan DM me on Instagram at Tony
Thrash.
Until next week.
Remember, there's still timeleft on the clock.
Let's get you off the bench tostart your comeback.
I want to give a special shoutout to Country Club for the
original music.
You can find them on Instagramat Country Club.

(10:07):
You.