Retiring TO Something, Not Just FROM Something

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Ready to retire but feeling uncertain about what comes next? You're not alone. That identity crisis of "Who am I now?" hits harder than most expect when contemplating retirement. This episode dives deep into the emotional side of ending your career—something rarely discussed in traditional retirement planning.

Drawing from my own experience leaving tennis coaching after 20+ years, I share the unexpected identity shift that comes when your career has been deeply intertwined with your sense of self. The key insight? You can't just retire FROM something; you need to retire TO something meaningful. 

Through ten essential questions everyone should answer before making this life-changing decision, we explore burnout, fulfillment, adventure desires, financial readiness, health considerations, and your vision for what's ahead. We also unpack the complex emotional landscape of retirement—from the excitement and relief to the grief, loneliness, and fear of the unknown that may surprise you.

Retirement isn't an ending but a pivot point. The "now what?" moment isn't cause for panic—it's where the magic happens. This episode offers practical guidance for creating your "What's Next" list, emphasizing the importance of continued connection, growth and purpose. Whether retirement is imminent or still years away, these insights will help you prepare for one of life's most significant transitions with confidence and clarity.

Have you started thinking about what you're retiring TO, not just what you're retiring FROM? Visit my website at TonyThrash.com to learn about my upcoming book "Start Your Comeback" and get support for navigating major life transitions with purpose and passion.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Is there a major life transition benching you?
I know you may be asking what'snext?
What's my purpose?
What if?
Because I've asked those too.
Welcome to the Start yourComeback Podcast.
I'm Toni Thrash, a certifiedlife coach, and I want to share
the tools and practical steps tohelp you create a winning game

(00:23):
plan to move into your newadventure.
Hi, welcome back.

(00:57):
You're listening to episode 96of the Start your Comeback
podcast.
The last few weeks, we've beentalking about loyalty, how to
know when it's time to leave ajob or a relationship that no
longer is working.
Today we're tackling anotherbig one how do you know it's
time to retire?

(01:17):
And let me tell you, retirementisn't as simple as hey, let's
pick a date and stop working.
There's a whole emotionalballgame attached to this
decision, especially if you'vebeen at your job for a long time
.
Leaving is never easy.
Sometimes we get to go out onour own terms, exactly the way
we dreamed, and sometimes thedecision is made for us.

(01:41):
Either way, you get benched.
If you've been in your career along time, you've likely built
friendships, routines, a rhythmof life, and for many of us,
that job becomes part of who weare.
And when that's taken away, orwhen we choose to step away,

(02:01):
there's a big identity shiftthat takes place.
I'll be honest, I faced thismyself when I retired from
coaching tennis at the end of2023.
Over 20 years as a coach.
Coaching was a part of my DNAand when I stopped, I had to ask
myself who am I now?

(02:21):
But you know what I realized?
I realized I was okay because Ihad already started filling my
life with new things thatmattered.
That's the key.
You can't just retire fromsomething.
You need to retire to something.
I've got 10 questions to askbefore you ride off into the

(02:41):
sunset.
So here we go.
Number one are you burned out?
Do you dread going to workevery single day?
Has the passion left thebuilding?
Number two do you feelfulfilled?
Are you just going through themotions?
For example, I love teachingbecause it lights me up when a

(03:03):
student gets it.
That matters.
I feel fulfilled in that.
Number three are you cravingadventure?
Do you want to travel more?
Do you want time with yourgrandkids or do you want to try
new experiences?
Number four finances.
Do you have enough to retire?

(03:23):
And no, none of us ever feelstotally ready here.
Are you debt free?
Are your kids financiallyindependent.
Number five how's your health,your physical health?
What about insurance?
What's your plan If you loseinsurance?
How are you going to coverthose medical expenses?

(03:44):
Number six healthcare.
Have you run the numbers foryou and your spouse, if you're
married?
Number seven maybe you have.
Technology fatigue has trying tokeep up with new systems and
processes become overwhelming.
It may be a reason to retire.

(04:05):
Number eight do you feel likelife is passing you by?
Are there trips, hobbies orfamily events you keep missing?
Number nine has your job passedyou by?
Has it changed so much that youno longer feel capable or
interested?
And number 10, what's your planfor retirement?

(04:30):
A bucket list isn't just cute,it's essential.
How will you fill your dayswith purpose?
When you take the time toanswer these honestly, you'll
get a clearer picture of whetheryou're truly ready to retire or
whether something else needs tochange first.
Now let's talk about theemotional toll, because this,

(04:53):
right here, is where people getblindsided.
Retirement will stir upfeelings you may not see coming.
You could have excitement andanticipation.
The thought of hobbies andfreedom and travel is energizing
to you.
There could be a ton of relief.
No more office drama, deadlinesor stress.

(05:14):
There could be apprehension andworry have I done enough?
Will I run out of money?
And then maybe there's a senseof loss and grief.
You're not just leaving a job,you're leaving a rhythm, a team
and your purpose.
Loneliness.

(05:36):
Without those work friends, thesilence can feel heavy.
And finally, what about thefear of the unknown?
Because sometimes change ishard, even when it's good change
, you still don't knownecessarily what's ahead.
I talk about this in my newbook, start your Comeback, which

(05:57):
comes out in October.
Go ahead and mark your calendar.
Retirement isn't just afinancial decision.
It's a transition, one of thebiggest transitions of your life
, and transitions, if you'vebeen with me for any length of
time, come in phases.
You have to navigate each one.
I'm going to give you somestraight talk right here.

(06:20):
Don't retire alone in your head.
If you're feeling anxious, talkto someone a coach, a counselor
, a trusted mentor, someone whowill help you sort through all
the emotions that come with thisbig shift.
And while you're at it, don'tjust stop doing things.
Start doing things that willkeep you connected and give you

(06:42):
a new purpose Volunteer, be amentor, take a class, travel,
build a group around you thatkeeps you engaged, because
here's what I know the peoplewho retire well are the ones who
keep growing.
They keep learning and theykeep connecting.

(07:03):
I'll never forget the firstmorning I didn't have tennis
practice.
I sat there with my coffee,quiet house, and thought well,
now what?
What I didn't realize is thatthe now, what is where the magic
is, because you get to decidewhat's next.
You get to call new plays, justlike I teach in my coaching and

(07:26):
my book.
And when you can see retirementnot as the end but as the
beginning of a new chapter, youstart to feel the excitement
outweigh the fear.
So here's what I want you to dothis week.
I want you to answer those 10questions, but I want you to be
brutally honest with yourselves.
They're important questions toask.

(07:46):
Number two, I want you to starta list titled what's next?
What do you want to retire, toMake it specific.
And finally, the third thing isI want you to talk to someone.
Don't make this decision inisolation.
Maybe you want to talk to yourspouse, maybe you want to try

(08:10):
therapy, a mentor, a coach.
Just don't do it alone.
Retirement isn't ending, it'sjust a pivot, because you still
have a purpose.
Your purpose doesn't end whenyou retire.
You've been faithful, you'vegiven your time and talent and
now it's time to make sure thenext season of your life is

(08:34):
every bit as meaningful.
You can do this.
It's your life.
Step into it and let me remindyou Start your Comeback.
My new book is coming thisOctober.
It's all about building a gameplan when life throws you a
transition, just like retirement.
I'll give you practical stepsto move from shock through limbo

(08:57):
and back into the game of lifewith purpose and passion, into
the game of life with purposeand passion.
If you want to get on the listfor pre-order, then go to my
website and sign up at TonyThrash, where you'll get all of
the news and announcementscoming to you soon.
Until next time, keep showingup and remember the bench is no

(09:21):
place to stay.
Keep showing up and rememberthe bench is no place to stay.
I'll see you next time.
Hey, thanks for listening.
I don't take it for grantedthat you're here.
You didn't listen by mistake.
If you want to reach out, youcan DM me on Instagram at Tony
Thrash.
Until next week, remember,there's still time left on the
clock.
Let's get you off the bench tostart your comeback.

(09:43):
I want to give a special shoutout to Country Club for the
original music.
You can find them on Instagramat Country Club.
Thank you.