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May 26, 2024 • 48 mins

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Ever found yourself at a crossroads, pressured by societal norms yet yearning for a life led by passion? Jessica's story of transformation, which she shares with us, is a beacon for anyone navigating the murky waters of self-discovery and authenticity. As a transformative coach, she's not just a guide; she's walked the path from addiction to empowerment, much like my own journey from burnout to a life fueled by purpose. Our conversation takes you through the ebbs and flows of aligning with inner truths, and the courage it takes to live a life that's genuinely your own.

Let's be honest; growing into ourselves isn't a walk in the park. This episode is a heartfelt exploration of personal and professional growth against a backdrop of generational expectations and the societal push towards a predefined 'success'. We open up about the emotional epiphanies that helped us pivot from a relentless grind to embracing our worth beyond just our output. It's a call to quiet the ego, to stare down fear, and to take practical steps like meditation towards self-acceptance. Through our stories, we invite you to consider the diverse paths the universe has laid out for you, and to find the bravery to step onto the one that resonates with your true self.

Balance is more than just a buzzword in our lives; it's the essence of our well-being. In this heart-to-heart, we delve into balancing divine feminine and masculine energies, and how this equilibrium is critical to living fully. The power of intuition in business, morning meditation rituals, and the transformative role of resources like books and podcasts are all part of this rich tapestry of conversation. Jessica's insights serve as a reminder of the strength we hold within and the potential for transformation that lies in all of us. Join us for a session that promises not just thought-provoking dialogue but a celebration of the journeys women take towards purpose and fulfillment.

Looking for more?
Check out Jessica's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessicajoines/
Website: https://www.jessicajoines.com/
Dare to Believe Book: https://amzn.to/4avQsnA
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jessicajoines3842?app=desktop
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicaljoines/?hl=en

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi everybody, welcome to another episode of Steel
Roses podcast.
This podcast was created forwomen, by women, to elevate
women's voices.
I'm very excited to have youguys with me.
I mean, as you know, and forthe listeners that have been
with us weekly, we've had areally, really great lineup of
guests for the spring season.

(00:23):
So many really amazing femalevoices have come through here.
So I'm super excited to inviteyou to get to know my latest
guest with me, jessica.
Jessica is amazing.
She's on a profound mission toinspire transformation and
empowerment, with a particularfocus on guiding and uplifting

(00:45):
women.
Her passion lies in assistingindividuals to discover their
inherent potential throughtransformative spiritual
journeys, while transcending thebarriers of fear and ego, which
, by the way, that part therethe fear and ego I have so much.
So much on that one.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
I have to tell you I quite often during the guest
calls I'm like, hey, so listen.
I'm kind of going through this.
I love to open up for thelisteners because, again, you
have this wealth of knowledgehere.
You're really creating aplatform and a place that's safe
for women, not just throughyour work, but also through your

(01:27):
podcast.
You also have a women's purposecommunity that you have
developed and you're workingwith.
I mean, I can't say enough ofhow sorely this is needed.
So, welcome to the show.
I'm just so honored to have youhere.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Oh, thank you.
I'm super happy to be with youtoday.
It's really my honor oh thankyou.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
I'm super happy to be with you today.
It's really my honor.
So, jessica, why don't you tellthe listeners a little bit more
about yourself and we'll justkind of talk through things?
And I'm a bit of a sharer, soyou'll hear little bits and
stories from me as well as we go.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Well, you know, my podcast is a live coaching
podcast, so I don't do interviewstyle.
I bring on people that wantcoaching, so bring on as much as
you want.
I'm kind of used to it, yeah,and I love doing it.
But okay, so tell a littleabout myself.

(02:19):
As you mentioned, I only teachabout fear now because it was my
experience, and whenever I sayfear, I'm talking about all
forms of fear, and what I'mtalking about is the ego, that
voice of fear in our mind thatpresents as a voice of reason.
It's the thing that we're allhere having an experience with.

(02:40):
We're having this deep,profound experience of what we
inherently are, to come toremember who we are.
And so the way that manifestedin my life story and my life
journey is through things likeaddiction, through things like a
focus on achieving and doingand success and not listening to

(03:02):
what my heart really wanted andinstead doing what I thought I
should do.
So when I went to college and,you know, made the important
decisions that so many of usmake, it was from a place of
survival and scarcityconsciousness, in that I never
acknowledged what I truly loved.
I really went into scarcity mode.

(03:22):
What can I be good at tocompete in this world and I
anchored and built a wholecareer to it, that I was deeply
unhappy and the whole 20 yearsof it led to burnout all these
things and by the time I was 40,I was just like had had enough
and decided to make differentchoices and different decisions

(03:44):
and really woke up and had theprofound knowing and awareness
that what was in my heart wasmeant to be pursued.
So my story has been one ofsole purpose.
It's been one of having thecourage to listen and believe
the truth in my heart more thanthe fear of my mind.
So, from global CMO of a bigtech company to living in New

(04:07):
York City, to having this lifethat looked great on the outside
, to truly stepping away andunraveling it all to step into
what I'm doing today, which, asyou mentioned at the start, is
coaching, speaking, authored abook and created the Women's

(04:27):
Purpose Community, which is aspiritual and personal growth
community for women inleadership roles.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
So it's so much of your story lines up with my
story that it's I'm a really,really big believer in people
coming together when they'remeant to, on the same wavelength
.
You know like if you're inalignment and I'm in alignment,
we're going to kind of bump upagainst each other because we're

(04:54):
meant to be in alignment nextto each other at some point.
And as you were telling yourstory, I was getting chills
because I've been in my industryfor 17 years.
It started out as a.
I just graduated from school.
I really wanted to go intocreative writing and I didn't,
because how am I making money onthat?

(05:15):
That was all I could thinkabout when I was coming out of
school was how am I going tomake money?
I have to take care of myself.
I have to support myself.
What am I going to do?
Creative writing?
I can't do that.
That's a waste of time.
Meanwhile, that was like mypassion for years, but I just
didn't see it as a careerbecause to me I was like, well,
I should be going and beatingdown that corporate door, I

(05:38):
should be traveling for work, Ishould be trying to climb that
ladder, and I was even like abig, big problem in terms of
like workplace toxicity.
I tell stories now to peopleabout how I was in my 20s and
they're like shocked because itis the polar opposite of my
energy today.

(05:58):
It's a complete you knowdeparture from that.
And so I've grown up in myindustry and and I hit this,
this point in my in my careerabout three years ago or so
where I was feeling immenselyburnt out I work on, I work in
marketing and communications andI got assigned to this
particular project.

(06:19):
I didn't want to be on thisproject.
I had said.
I raised my hand and I don'tusually say no to stuff at work.
But I raised my hand and waslike I say no to stuff at work.
But I raised my hand and waslike I can't do this, I really
don't have capacity.
But I was ushered into theleadership role for this
particular project and so forthree weeks over the summer I
worked like 12 to 15 hours a day, like every single day, until

(06:40):
it was done and it was causingproblems with my husband, like I
wasn't even seeing my kids andthe listeners have heard me say
this before that I I got to theend of the project.
It went well, it was great,great, I, you know, the whole
thing went really wellprofessionally and I remember I
kind of like dusted I.
It really truly felt like aveil had been like lifted and I

(07:01):
opened my eyes and at the timemy kids we had just moved into
our house and my daughters hadjust turned, I want to say five,
and my son was six and I havetwin girls who are five and I
have a little boy who's six.
So you can imagine how crazy itwas for me to be working the
hours that I was working when Ihad still have all my small kids

(07:21):
.
And I got to the end of theproject and for the first time
in my professional life, I waslike, oh my God, like my kids
look bigger.
This is terrible, this is notwhat I want to do.
And it was like literally feltlike all of a sudden there was
this shift and it like split offinto two different paths and I
was like, well, I can continueon this path, but I don't think

(07:43):
that this is what I need to bedoing.
This isn't what I want anymore.
And it took me like I think ayear or so to find my way to
podcasting and like to startkind of like branching off into
stuff that really felt like itwas feeding me, versus something
that I felt like was startingto suck life out of me.
I can hear it in your voice,yeah, oh, when I talk about it.
I can hear it in your voice,yeah, oh, when I talk about it,

(08:05):
I always it always comes out.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
It always comes out.
I'll tell you.
I'll tell you a little storyand then I'll share some
thoughts with you.
I was recently giving a talk inNew York City at a female
empowerment conference and thewhole talk is called my Worth
Isn't what I Produce and it wasmy story, like TEDx style talk.
And so I'm rehearsing, as I do,in the hotel room the night

(08:28):
before, because I'm not usingslides or anything Right, and um
, I have this moment and I wasnot planned.
I just happened to be stayingin this hotel in Midtown because
it was close to the conference.
And I look out and I'm like,and there's this point in the
talk where I talk about everynight working at this ad agency
and being there after midnightand the cleaning staff having
come and left again, and I'mstill there and living at this.

(08:52):
And I look out and I see my oldbuilding and I worked in this
building in 2007.
And now here it is 2021.
And I'm giving a talk and itwas such a full circle moment I
started crying.
It was a talk and it was such afull circle moment I was, you
know, started crying.
It was just unbelievable, and itwill feel emotional, and that's
a good thing, because thatemotion is actually transmuting

(09:14):
something within you.
So it's like embrace it, don'tresist it, you know.
But look, I relate and this isthe journey that we are all
doing.
For other people it might bearound relationship or it might
be something else.
It might not always be the work, but the story is the same and
it's the denial of thyself tocome to realize thyself, you

(09:37):
know.
And so we all have that thing,this thing we really want.
But this the ego says not, butit has all the stories and your
spiritual test and journey, likehere in kind of earth school,
is that moment where you go oh,this is the thing.
That's false.
This is true.
The universe doesn't put anydream in my heart that doesn't

(09:58):
have a path of potentialityconnected to it, because the
universe isn't cruel.
It's just up to me, and whatI'm trying to learn here is to
listen to it, to acknowledge itand stop denying the truth of
who we are.
And so you'll always besupported.
But it doesn't.
I had the same thing for me.
It was I wanted to go to filmschool and it just was like, oh,

(10:18):
my God that you know I wasalways into acting and all these
things, and it just the storyin my mind was like that'll
never be possible.
Right, you know, and and itmight not have looked the way I
wanted it to, but there was apath of potentiality there and
in some ways that has manifested.
You know now via you know thespeaking and everything I do.

(10:39):
So I know that your listenerscan really and I just
congratulate you for like havingthe courage and I know that
your listeners can relate and Ijust congratulate you for like
having the courage and I knowthat feeling your life is just
like you're like what am I doing?
What am I doing here in thisoffice?
Like trudging through.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
It's horrible and it's yeah, it's crazy, because
it's it was.
It felt like not a rug beingpulled out, but I and I can't
quite put my, my thoughts, but Ican't really articulate it
Because the feeling was thislike this, like whoosh of like,
oh, my God, I've been poundingdown this path without actually
thinking through like well, howis this affecting other things,

(11:16):
or do you really want to bedoing this?
And to me it was, you know,that very old archaic, like well
, this, you're going to besuccessful.
Like this is what you have todo.
You have to do it this way.
When I was growing up, you hadto go to college.
You had to.
There was no other path.
You are going to college and Iwas like, all right, I'm going
to college, which for me it wasfine, like I actually really

(11:38):
enjoyed school, I was into it.
But, like, for a lot of people,that's not the path.
And then we're layering in,like, well, you should be doing
this.
And then we're talking about,like you know, a whole
generation, like my parents wereborn in the fifties.
So it's like we have this wholegeneration of thinking where
their mentality is like, well,you need, and then you need to

(11:59):
stay at your job.
You shouldn't, you shouldn'tmove around, you should be
staying at your job.
For like 20 years, my mom waslike very upset with me because
I moved agencies every three anda half years and she was like
you really shouldn't be doingthat.
I'm like, no, I kind of have to, mom, because I'm a woman in an
industry where, like I'm notgetting promoted, like I need to
figure this out.
I want to talk a little bitabout ego and fear.

(12:21):
Ego, the reason why this that Iknow both resonate with me.
But also I'll go with ego.
First, because I had to.
When I was going through thistransition into where I am today
, which I still have my daytimejob, like I still do that, but I
have this outlet now throughpodcasting.
So you know, when I was goingthrough this phase where I was

(12:44):
branching into podcasting andinto things that were really
lighting me up, my, my ego, Ihad to and it's not ego in the
same sense of like egocentric,it's like the ego, the inner
right, the voice of fear, and Ihad to almost not make amends,
but I had to sort of just likesilence the ego a little bit.

(13:06):
And the way that I did it was Itons of meditation.
I meditate every single day,like I'm up early, that's like
the first thing I do in themorning.
And I had to acknowledge thefact that for almost my whole
life probably my whole life Ivery much tried to control
everything.
And it started.
It got even more so, I think,in my early 20s or so, and I was

(13:31):
really struggling withdepression and anxiety and I had
like an eating disorder and Ihad this moment of I can't live
my life like this and it waslike a Jenny moment.
I was like Jenny, we can'tcontinue on this way.
You're not going to have anykind of life if you continue
this way.
We have to take control of thesituation and in that moment it
saved me from going down adarker path.

(13:54):
But then the reality of it isis that that need to control
kind of kept snowballing andsnowballing.
It made me really great at myjob because of what I do for a
living, like having to controlall the pieces.
But then it became like almosttoo much and it was like that
need to control was not just,like you know, jenny, making

(14:17):
sure that she's okay, but it wasalso like I have to control
everything at work.
I couldn't ask anybody for help,god forbid.
I asked anybody for help Evenwhen my kids were babies.
I was working, again 10 to 12hour days.
I was up all night with my kids.
I was getting them out the doorLike I wasn't and my family
would be.
Like you know, you can ask yourhusband for help.

(14:37):
Like you don't have to do thisby yourself.
Like you're not.
You're not a single parent, youhave a support system.
But there was something in methat was like no, no, no, I have
to do it all by myself.
And I had to let that go andthat is what I still to this day
.
Like the last three years, twoand a half years, I've been
actively working on saying likeI need help, I can't do

(15:01):
everything, and like findingsome kind of balance there, and
I think a lot of women strugglewith that control issue and
needing to everything to beperfect.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
Yeah, yeah, well, look, I mean, you've mentioned.
You mentioned a few things andone I will just say like it is
very the paradigm.
You know, in many ways, likeall the messages you received,
everything I mean it is broken.
That's part of it.
One thing that came into memeditation years ago that ended
up sparking this whole journey,was the truth in your heart is

(15:31):
more real than the one you see.
So, like, don't take your cuesfrom the paradigm.
Like is essentially what thatis saying, and to question that,
and you know if your heart isin conflict with the paradigm,
or how you can function withinit, or the different messages
and everything, like that's OK.
Like your heart is more true.

(15:51):
This is, you know, not in thehighest service.
So, and I think we arereinventing the paradigm by each
of us having our own awakeningsand deciding, like we're going
to change it within ourselves.
There, we're going to change theouter, but back, like on your
look, we all have our, our storyand many of us, to your point,

(16:13):
like, we are not in our divinefeminine energy, so we don't
know how to receive we're, we'rethinking that we all have to do
it on our own.
We're trying to control things Imean, like fear and control go
hand in hand and we all have ourown story and programming of
that.
What I would say to you oranyone listening, and I'm

(16:36):
curious how you've been workingon that and breaking it down
it's like there's twosimultaneous paths to healing
and both are important and bothcan be done in tandem.
And on one side it's like wheredid that story come from?
And you do.
You do got to go back intochildhood.
You've got to.
You've got to look at theiceberg below the surface and
shine a light there, becausejust shining a light via your

(16:58):
awareness unravels a lot ofthings that feel true, you know,
and it could be trauma.
It could just be like.
You know, our parents grew upin in that kind of scarcity
mindset too, and our brains wereforming then and we took on all
those perceptions.
And so just understanding whereit come from and how you got
here, what it is you're reallyafraid of deep down.

(17:21):
And I will tell you, thedeepest fear is always going to
come to some variation of thisuniverse and me.
We're separate, we're not one,and it's like that again, denial
of thyself, and also likeviewing the universe as
something outside of you,viewing yourself more as the
human than the soul.
That is always going to be atthe lowest, lowest root.
So understanding and doing thatdeep level work, that

(17:44):
self-exploration, is reallyparamount.
And then the second, on thesecond spontaneous path, is
exactly what you're talkingabout.
It's act as if so new behaviors, new neuropathways.
You actually heal it from theinside out.
And asking for help, likemaking it a very conscious,
intentional practice toexperience different by doing

(18:06):
different.
So I think that's reallypowerful.
But look, you know it's, Iunderstand it, and we all have
the societal story of how we gothere, like trying to prove
ourselves and it's from beingoverpowered and for thousands of
years Right, and it's like nowwe're trying to compete now and
so then it's like we probablylike a bit, I think, of over
indexed Right and now we're likecoming back into center and

(18:29):
into harmony, and men have theirown story within that too.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Yeah, you, you mentioned, um, divine feminine
and I want to touch on that aswell because I I don't think um
that's talked about quite asmuch, and I actually just
interviewed somebody who alsofocuses like solely on that,
like that was her practice and Ididn't realize, like how
masculine I was in my energyuntil I started talking to her

(18:56):
and you know, it was just aninteresting, almost like an
interesting thing to hear.
So for again, my whole life Ivery much protected my emotions
and was and I used to joke withmy cousin who, who has been on
the podcast with me before, thatlike oh, I cry in the shower
like a winner, the open.

(19:20):
We don't do that Like, and itstarted to.
That was one of those thingsthat like only most recently
like you heard me get like alittle bit emotional or when I
was talking about my, my journeyearlier and I have tried to um,
kind of peel that layer back,because for so long I looked at
having emotion as weakness andyou know, having that feminine,

(19:45):
you know power, almost as like adisadvantage and not leaning
into it, because I am veryaggressive in how I do most
things Like I will you know if II mean, my husband jokes about
it all the time and he's alwayslike, oh, are you going to take
over the world again today?
And I'm like, probably, andpart of me is out of joy.

(20:05):
I love doing certain things.
I love the podcast work, I likeworking on the podcast website,
I love all that stuff.
But then, on the flip side too,I'm also working really hard to
get comfortable with sayinglike I need a little bit of a
break or I need to take areprieve.
When we originally were meant torecord, I think I had to
message you because we had toreschedule because my kids were

(20:26):
sick we had two back-to-backstomach viruses right before.
Right before, like the weekbefore we were meant to record,
I was gearing up to do a productlaunch and I actually it's
still, it's still happening, butit's just taking its own time.
But I was really stressing likeevery single day needing to

(20:51):
work on this product launch,setting up the funnels,
recording the videos, writingthe content, like and it's all
really beautifully well done.
But I burnt myself out inthrowing myself in and then my
kids got sick and then I gotsick, yeah, and then we cycled
through two stomach viruseswithin like a four week period

(21:12):
and then, like, work got alittle busier and and one of my
podcast colleagues like text me.
She was like hey, like did youlaunch it, yet I'm going to
promote it?
And I was like no, not yet.
I was like bear with me.
And she messaged me.
She was like hey, like did youlaunch it, yet I'm going to
promote it?
And I was like no, not.
Yet.
I was like bear with me.
And she messaged me.
She's like don't beat yourselfup, I already know you are.
She's like you know, becauseit's one of those things where I
will get very caught up andfeeling like I have to push

(21:35):
myself into doing something or Ihave to meet this particular
deadline.
And then it kind of hit me andI was like Jenny, you're making
your own deadline here.
Like I know I really wanted todo this and have it ready for I
think it was April and it justdidn't happen that way.
And there was a large part of methat was like really angry and

(21:56):
upset.
But then I also was like Ithink I need to, I think I need
to take a step back here.
So, because we had all thissickness in the house and
everything and I was gettingreally overwhelmed.
My solution to try to likesettle myself normally would
have been to like lean in harderand work harder.
But I took the opposite approachthis time and was like maybe I

(22:18):
need to lean out.
Maybe this is the universetelling me like, jenny, this
isn't your time for this.
Like lean back a little bit andjust take a minute, like don't
overdo it.
So I did that.
I didn't record any new podcastepisodes, I was just using my
guest episodes and kind ofpulsing those out and I've taken

(22:38):
I took about like three weekslike where I was like stepping
back, I'm like all right, I'mgoing to hold.
I was getting really aggressive, like let me just take a few
minutes here, and I this week Istarted, you know,
reinvigorating myself and itfeels like a reset almost, and
I'm like excited all over againto dive back into everything.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah, I mean what you're describing again.
It's like I go back.
Look the paradigm again stillis in.
Thousands of years has beenwhat would call a spiritual
world in terms you know, themasculine energy has dominated.
You can call it the patriarchy,you can call it whatever you
want, and there are very goodand beautiful qualities within

(23:20):
the masculine energy, but whenit's only that and there's not
the balance of the yin yang,whatever, you want to call it.
Look to nature tons of Q,there's seasons, there's time
for rest, Flowers aren't alwaysin bloom, right, like I can go
on and on with this, but we'vebeen right.
It's like we've been in thisunhealthy paradigm and I think,

(23:41):
like you know, I think COVIDjust revealed how you know toxic
it is and everyone was like, ohmy God, I'm just, I'm in, I'm
like a robot, going through theemotions to such a degree.
But oh, I'm not a robot.
Actually, I'm a human being andand all these things and just
prioritizing, doing, it's all upto me Achieving, achieving and
not time for rest, not time forrestoration, and all these

(24:04):
things that we need as animals,which we are let's just be clear
.
I'm glad that you're having thatwake up and I think so many of
us are.
It can be a bit of a scaryjourney when you're kind of
waking up to it and amongst aparadigm that is still in many

(24:26):
ways not and you want to besuccessful within that.
But again, I think, if enoughof us just choose to prioritize
self in the ways that we need it.
You talked about feelings.
Like I kind of think, like ashuman beings, like we're here to
have an experience with thesethings called feelings, and all
of them are sacred.
And look at what happens in theworld when people don't process

(24:47):
their feelings Like I mean, youknow, I can go on and on about
that.
So you know, I think it's areally beautiful thing, but it's
a really scary thing.
And again and the idea isn't tototally over index on the
feminine either it's that we allhave these energies within us
and it's to come into balance,like there's a time for doing,

(25:08):
there's a time to rest right,there's a time to make time and
space for what you're feeling.
And I think the interestingthing is during this and I'll
call it planetary consciousnessshift that we are going through,
that is underway in many ways,like we're seeing more and more
folks like you myself, wake upto this and the old ways of

(25:29):
doing are actually not workinganymore.
That's the thing, cause, likethe energy has just shifted, so
the trudging and the blunt forcethat you used to do you're
getting sick, it's like, andit's like tenfold in, and I
think that's the universe as wayof like helping us like get
back on board and get intobalance.

(25:51):
You know, in a kind of lovingway, that can be a painful one.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
I mean, and it is, and it's almost like you know,
it's almost like if you're notready for it, you're not, you're
not going to quite understandit, because I know I've talked
with other people about it I'm alittle careful with who I share
it with because I'm like I'llshare but you can kind of tell
when people really aren't reallyon board.
But I know deeply that this islike.

(26:17):
I mean, I know men have theirstruggles, like we mentioned,
like they have their strugglestoo.
But I know deeply that this issomething that that women really
have a hard time with thatwhole balance, because every
single woman that I know has astory of being overwhelmed,
overworked.
My cousin had said to me theone time I'm working to be

(26:38):
behind, she already knew.
Time I'm working to be behind,she already knew.
She knew she was going to bebehind, she's juggling her child
full time.
Mom had two jobs like was, likeI'm like you know, you don't
have to, and I had already kindof started on my journey and so
I would try to like coach her alittle bit and be like listen.
Like you know, I have corporatewise I and I've said it here,

(26:59):
I've talked about this a littlebit.
I called the glass ball andrubber ball method because I had
such a hard time, like nottrying to do everything, that I
discovered this method.
At one of my jobs.
They had sent out a newslettertalking about it and essentially
it's you know, in a single dayyou're going to have like a
hundred things that need to haveto happen, but you will have

(27:21):
some of those things that haveto happen, that have to happen
to that day, like those, yourglass balls, and then the other
things that don't necessarilyhave to happen in that day.
Those are your rubber balls.
They can bounce the next day.
So today, after we're recording,after we're done, one of my
glass balls that I have to dotoday is I promised my daughter
I was going to read a book withher.
That's a priority for me.

(27:42):
Balls that I have to do todayis I promised my daughter I was
going to read a book with her.
That's a priority for me today.
I tried to do it yesterday andwe couldn't get to it, so I let
it bounce over today.
So you know and I'm using thething with my daughter as an
example here, because it's notjust with work but it's also
like personal things andpersonal tasks and, like you
know, things at home and laundry, and you know like there's so
many other things that kind ofpile onto women's shoulders and

(28:06):
and that we have to deal withthat.
We're constantly thinking ofthat.
It becomes so overwhelming thatit's almost like you don't get
anything done and it feels likeyou're always behind.
And it doesn't necessarilyyou're not behind.
You've actually accomplishedquite a bit, but you always feel
behind because you're alwaysthinking, well, I didn't get all
100 things done, so I failedtoday.
And that's really not the case.

Speaker 2 (28:29):
Yeah, yeah.
And look, this conference I wastalking to you about that, I
was at every woman in there,especially women that are now
reaching forties and fifties,had a story of health challenges
, every one of them.
And women still are the primarycaretakers.
Okay, we saw that during COVID,like when a million women left

(28:51):
the workforce.
And the second thing, and itwas said at this conference and
I thought it was really brave,because it's like we don't want
to admit this, but it's true,but we are physiologically
different.
Yeah, oh yeah, we are.
You know, and and again, the um,the paradigm is just not shaped
for that.
It's not, you know, and um.
So it's something to look atand I think you, using your

(29:14):
voice, everyone, to createsomething that actually really
works for everyone and isinclusive to everyone, is the
key.
And look, I'm the first to sayand it sounds like you know,
you're, you're in that middlepoint too.
I tried for years to kind ofmake it work within, and I think
I could have, I couldn't, Icouldn't find the purpose and

(29:36):
meaning I wanted from within,and that's why I always say,
like I had to exit the matrix tolike make it work for me.
That's how I feel, you know,and so sometimes you have to.
You do have to make thesetougher choices, but if you're
not willing to and it's not analignment for you to make these
big, altering life decisions,it's like I love the ball

(29:59):
analogy.
It's like what are the babysteps you can do?
For a lot of my clients I wouldsay, like there's a saying no
goal, Like how many things areyou going to say no to this week
?
You know and starting to reallypause and go like do I actually
need to do all these things?
Where can I get more help andsupport?
Like you know, if this amountof time is important to me, I

(30:22):
want, this amount of time isimportant to me, I want this
amount of time with my daughterI want.
Then something does have tochange, but like, how can you
make those small changes?

Speaker 1 (30:26):
yeah, I used to um, my very first foyer into the
whole alignment thing was, um,oh god, like 16 years ago or 17
years ago, I read that book, theSecret, when it came out and
that, like, let me tell you howmuch that book changed my life

(30:47):
and it sounds a little.
I mean anyone who, if youhaven't picked it up, it's
really tiny book, superimpactful if you're ready for it
.
Sometimes it kind of just makesit way to you.
I actually used to buy extracopies and then conversations
with people if I heard somethingor if I was so inclined I'd be
like, oh, by the way, I havethis book.
That sounds nuts, but it helpedme so much.

(31:07):
It helped me shift the entirecourse of my life from where it
was going to where I reallywanted it to go, helping me meet
my husband.
There was an important part ofthat book that really, really
helped me in the beginning whenI wasn't doing meditating.
I wasn't doing meditating backthen and it talked about using

(31:28):
your feelings as a barometer,for are you doing things that
you actually want to do or areyou putting yourself in a
situation because you feel likeyou owe it or you're obligated,
because if you're doing thatthen you're not feeling joy and
ultimately you're going to feelresentful, and then all of that
toxic energy is just in you,kind of circling about.

(31:52):
So I used to at that point and Iwas still really new to it I
would, if somebody presented adecision to me or a choice or an
opportunity or something to do,I would.
I would literally take.
I'd be like, oh, hold on, letme get back to you.
And I would take a minute andthink through like, do I?
How does this feel?
Like, and how does this feel inmy chest?
Like, does this feel?

(32:12):
Am I excited about this or do Ifeel bad about this?
And that's how I used to gaugeit and that was really what I
used early on.
And I think that that's anotherfailing amongst and I don't
failing isn't quite the rightword, but I think it's a deficit
amongst women where we'realmost conditioned to ignore our

(32:33):
what we're feeling.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
You know when we feel so strongly?

Speaker 1 (32:37):
yeah, even when we're feeling super strongly about
something, like I meanespecially, we all know we've
heard the term gaslighting likethat happens constantly and then
we're made to feel crazysometimes like oh, it's your
hormones or it's this or it'sthat or that time of the month
Don't get me started down thatbut it, you know, we're made,
we're told almost on a regularbasis like your feelings don't
matter, you know, and even ifit's like subliminal or it's

(33:00):
subconscious messaging thatcomes through, even if it's not
particularly said but it's anaction that somebody takes, we
get this, you know feeling orwe're told.
Get this messaging where we'retold like your feelings really
aren't valid and you can ignorethem and just follow the facts.
Don't ignore your intuition,follow the facts.
And our intuition is there fora reason, like we have an

(33:26):
intuition because it's meant tohelp guide us to the right path
and not enough of us arelistening to that little voice.

Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, oh, my God.
So you know my, my total dreamis like a world where intuition
is valued as much as data.
And in fact I was having thislittle fantasy, or whatever
daydream the other day.
I was like God, I'd love towalk into a corporate setting 10
years from now, and you knowhow it's like.
I have a gut feeling.
Well, let's see if the datavalidates it.

(33:55):
I would love to see that flip.
The data says this will love it.
I'm sorry I got to go step awayand see my intuition and my gut
and then that's prioritized asequally important, like I was.
Just I was having a daydreamabout that the other day.
But anyway, I digress Oneyou're dead on again.
It's, and again, not that weare here to have an experience
with this paradigm.
We've been having an experienceof to have the experience to

(34:17):
wake up out of it and, yes, aspart of that, it's been like
intuition.
You can't trust your intuition.
You can't trust that's been thesuppression of the divine
feminine energy that liveswithin men and women, All of us,
it's not just a woman thing.
So I love it and I hear you.
And again, it's just one by one, Like I, my whole business,
cause I, I do run a business.
I've not had a business planthe whole time.

(34:38):
I'm a former CMO.
All I had was business plansand data and I've just totally
and I'll use a different wordthan feeling I have been
honoring the pathways ofresonance to manifest this
business and I just live in thatenergy.
I trust my gut, I trust myintuition and that is how I've

(34:59):
been doing and buildingeverything in the last eight
years of this phase of my soulpurpose journey.
The secret, I mean so little funfacts.
So I was in my twenties whenthat came out.
I was living in LA, where I'mliving again now, and at that
time always going to AgapeMichael Beckwith is in that, one
of the authors of that and itwas phenomenal to see how that

(35:23):
Agape changed overnight.
So it was like, yeah, a verypopular thing within LA.
But as soon as the Secret cameout and then he went on Oprah,
it was lines around the blood.
My whole spiritual Sundaychanged overnight.
But but it was, you know, sucha powerful awakening and the
foundation of that, you know,manifestation, co-creation.

(35:44):
It's the foundation and it'sit's actually a ton of work we
do within the woman's purposecommunity, because it's the
foundation to step out ofsurviving and the thriving
because it's about you owningyour ability to create the life
you want and taking a proactiveapproach to creating what you
want rather than reacting tolife.
If you're just reacting to whatlife is like offering up to you

(36:07):
and settling you will always bein survival mode because you're
not owning your ability tocreate what you want.
So I love that and I thinkresonance feeling is truly like
everything and and such a hightruth for us to honor Somebody,
one of the other ladies that Ihad interviewed.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
She had had a near death experience and you know,
post the interview, we, we, wetalked for like 45 minutes and
she was just telling me a bunchof stuff and but in that
conversation she said she waslike you know, that changed her
life.
And she totally like I mean, itchanged her whole life.
And she told me she was likeyou know, I think that we see
miracles every single day, butif you're not in tune and you're

(36:52):
not in alignment, you're reallynot going to pick up on these
little miracles.
And I had shared with her.
After the fact, it was the dayafter Christmas I think it was
like the 26th and I live by thebeach.
That's like my, I love it.
It's like transformative for meto be by the ocean and I took

(37:13):
my kids.
It's called a secret beach, wecall it the secret beach and
it's just this like really, youcan walk down this path, but if
you go off the path, you canfind this secret beach,
basically, and it's a localthing that people will go and
hang out there.
And so I took my kids it wasDecember 26th but it wasn't
freezing and we went to just goexplore it and look at it in the

(37:33):
wintertime.
And Jessica, I don't know whatit was in the moment, but I got
this feeling and I and listeners, you're not, you can't see me,
but I'm I'm kind of taking myhands and touching my chest.
I got this feeling, um, becauseI looked out at the ocean and
it was completely still, likethere were no waves, and I just

(38:00):
kind of sat there like am I?
And I, I like blinked a coupletimes.
I'm like am I sincerely seeingthis?
Like it's the ocean, it'salways in movement, like this
can't.
And I said to my kids I was likeguys, are you, are you seeing
this?
But they're little and they'relike what, mommy?
It's like whatever.
Are you seeing this?
But they're little and they'relike what mommy?

(38:20):
It's like whatever.
And it's crazy because in themoment I was in such awe I
didn't even take a picture of it.
I was just in such shock and Imessaged the woman that I had
interviewed and I was like thisfelt like something and am I
crazy?
This is what I saw.
And she was like no-transcriptabout it, like get like kind of

(39:07):
choked up.
So I'm like that felt like apurposeful moment for me for
some reason.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
Yeah, I think, and only you know your own truth.
You might want to Google this,but have you the zero point?
I think you, the zero point iswhere, like a stillness of
presence it's what we try toachieve in meditation and all
these things it's like whereonly God truly lives and exists,

(39:35):
you know, and it's, and whenyou hit that point of
transcendence, the zero point, Imean like the whole, this whole
kind of illusionary realitywould dissolve around you and
you're just in that, like totaltranscendence, of you being at
one with divine universe,whatever you want to call it,
and it feels like you had one ofthose moments.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
It's.
I still think about it likemonths later now and I'm like
that and so feels like you hadone of those moments.
I still think about it likemonths later now and I'm like
that.
And so now I make it a point.
It's funny I plan to make sureI'm being mindful and in the
moment.
And I was a constant multitaskerbefore.
Constantly If I was out walking, I had my phone and I was on my

(40:17):
emails and I was taking callsand do it.
Or if I was playing with mykids, I wasn't really playing
with my kids, I was looking atmy Apple watch and checking text
messages and then I was doingother things and I have to do
this.
And I was constantly doing that.
And over the past year and ahalf I have actively made it a
point to be like I am going tobe here and be in this moment.

(40:39):
So even I was trying to.
I was coaching my stepsonbecause he wants to start
meditating, but he's strugglingwith the idea of just sitting
silently and I was explaining tohim about like being in the
moment and I said you know, whenyou're at work, he works with
his hands and I was like whenyou're at work, I was like you
should really like.
I know you like to listen tomusic, but be mindful of like

(41:00):
the feeling of the tools in yourhand.
Like bring yourself center, likecenter yourself, that's.
And he was like what are youtalking about?
I'm like that's like theeasiest step that you can take
towards getting towardsmeditation.
Because I think that you know,when people hear like buzzwords,
like self care, meditationaffirmations, like everybody

(41:21):
kind of throws them around nowand there are actual proper
steps that you take to actuallyget into the practice of
everything and it's like babysteps.
You know like it's just.
You know like it's it's to getthere.
It's not just you know all of asudden you're going to sit down
and you're going to manifest amillion dollars.
Like there's some baby stepsinvolved to get you into the

(41:44):
alignment so that you can havethat, you know moment, that out
of body moment.
You know, in the mornings I hadread that meditating right
after you wake up, before youreally like your mind gets, like
really activated, is one of themost powerful times, because
you're still on that, theparticular frequency with your

(42:05):
brainwaves.
And my husband, my husbandstarted doing it with me, like I
started doing it and I kepttelling him you should really
try this because he teaches, andI'm like you should really get
up earlier and just try it withme and he was like I do my own
thing, I'm fine.
And then, like slowly, he kindof just started doing it with me
and he told me he was like henotices a huge difference in his

(42:26):
day when he doesn't get to doit, versus like when you get to
actually take that practiceevery day and do it.
It's, it's life changing.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
It is it really is changing, it is it really is.
Yeah, I always say not that Iwould have to, but, like you
know, I have different morningpractices.
I do a combination of things,but I always say, like God, if
there was one thing like I, likehat, could I only could pick
one thing to do, I would alwaysbe meditation, like that's,
where I just think everythingunfolds.

(42:57):
So I love that for you and yourhusband.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
Yeah and well.
So during the summertime I'llmeditate out in the backyard and
I get like I'll put the matsdown and stuff.
I'll actually have my kids cometoo and like I'm trying.
You know cause to me, I'm likeI didn't learn any of this until
I was 38.
I was 38 when I just startedlike figuring all this out.
I was 38.
I was 38 when I just startedlike figuring all this out.

Speaker 2 (43:23):
And I'm like if I can start teaching them now and
like getting them to do it.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
Yeah, like let's, let's set, you know, set them up
for success.
That's a big driving force.
You know, becoming a mother forme was transformative in a in a
totally different way than Ihad expected, because they were
like the driving force for me toalmost be better, like be a
better person, be the best,jenny, that you can be.

(43:47):
And even now, like in myday-to-day life, like I actively
are making sure, like I want togive them a good example.
I don't want them to see amommy who's burnt out.
Because we didn't talk too muchabout burnout, but I mean, I was
feeling it like and whatstarted to happen was because I
work from home, there's no likebuffer between work stress and

(44:09):
then home stress, so I wouldopen the office door and
actually I wouldn't even openthe office door.
They'd be coloring on the floornext to me and there was no
moment of like you know, okay,work, jenny is here, mom, jenny
is here, and it was becominglike I was like mean mommy all
the time.
Yeah, you know, and and myhusband was always telling he's

(44:30):
like you have to figure a wayout to stop, like you have to
figure out a pattern, a placewhere you can say, all right,
I'm disconnecting from work andtake a minute and just sort of
reset yourself.
Because what had started tohappen was I was like bringing
my laptop to the kitchen, I'dhave like a conference call on
the side while I was trying tocook, while I was trying to
manage the kids, and then Iwould be stressed out about

(44:54):
something else I had to do and Iwould be screaming at everybody
and I'm like this is not themom that I want them to remember
when they get older, you knowlike.
And they would tell me like,mommy, are you gonna do you have
to work today?
And they would get like.
My stepdaughter was here theone time and I had to take a
call.
I was supposed to be off forthe week I was taking a whole
week off and I ended up taking acall and my stepdaughter was

(45:17):
here visiting and so I cameupstairs to take my phone call.
When I came out she told me shewas like I can't, I would never
be able to do what you're doing.
She was like I, I, I wouldn'tbe able to do that.
And I was like what are youtalking about?
And she was like you shouldhave seen their faces.
And I was like, like, when theyrealized that mommy took a work

(45:38):
call, they very much were like.
But she said she promised shewasn't going to work this week
and I was like, oh God, I waslike my, my heart.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Well, look, it looks like you've made some incredible
changes.
You're imparting those on yourkids, and that's all that we can
truly ask for.
Right?
It's to, when you have thoseawakenings, that you act upon
them and you do your best andyou, you know, impart it upon
those that that you love or youknow that you're raising, in
your case.
So I love it.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
Yeah, no, I I've been working really hard.
Jessica, thank you so much forbeing on with me.
Listeners, I'm going to link toall of Jessica's things in the
episode description, includingher podcast, because that's
awesome that you do like livecoaching calls, like that's
really cool.
So I'm going to link all thatbecause I think that that's

(46:30):
really important for people.
I think a lot of people arescared to like put themselves
out there, and so this is areally great way for people to
like listen in and hear what'sgoing on.
And I also am going to link toyour book as well, which I
purchased, by the way, becauseI'm super excited.
Oh, yes, oh, I'm a big supporterof all my authors that come on
here.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
I'm very excited.
Well, let me know what youthink.

Speaker 1 (46:52):
I'm super excited about it.
I read the description onAmazon and I was like oh, oh
gosh, this is like my life.

Speaker 2 (46:59):
There's some secret kind of language in there for
sure.
Yeah, I'm super excited to readthat.

Speaker 1 (47:05):
So, listeners, yeah, you'll definitely have all the
links for all of that, and thenyou'll be able to reach out to
Jessica on her platforms as well.
So we'll make sure everything'sin the episode description,
jessica.
Thank you so much for being onthe podcast.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
It has been such an honor.
I love that you stepped intopodcasting because I think you
have a real talent for it andyou're doing really important
work, so it was really mypleasure to be with you today.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
Oh, thank you so much , until next time.
Everybody, thank you forjoining us.
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