Still Not Asking For It

Still Not Asking For It

Welcome to Still Not Asking For It. A Podcast brought to you by Hope Harbor, a sexual trauma recovery center in south central Kentucky hosted by Alayna Milby and produced by Melissa Gerard. Still Not Asking For It will have regularly released episodes where Hope Harbor staff, volunteers, and community partners will discuss significant issues survivors of sexual assault face and the complexities of rape culture through an intersectional lens.

Episodes

September 17, 2021 55 min

Content warning: shame after sexual assault, rape culture

In this episode, Mel and Alayna are sharing their personal experiences growing up Christian and the values pushed onto young people about sex. We are coming from the place of people who were assigned female at birth, raised Christian in the Bible belt, and advocates within the anti-violence movement. We share our personal experiences and opinions in this episode, but we want...

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This is part two of a two part episode. In this episode, Kellie McClure from Ampersand Sexual Violence Resource Center in Lexington, KY joins Mel G. and Alayna to discuss consent in reality TV, specifically the Bachelor and the Bachelorette. From contracts, to producers, to sex: what are they really able to consent to? Our conversation covers these themes and mentions of sexual assault and harassment on the shows. Mel G. and Kellie...

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August 16, 2021 49 min

In this episode, Kellie McClure from Ampersand Sexual Violence Resource Center in Lexington, KY joins Mel G. and Alayna to discuss consent in reality TV, specifically the Bachelor and the Bachelorette. From contracts, to producers, to sex: what are they really able to consent to? Our conversation covers these themes and mentions of sexual assault and harassment on the shows. Mel G. and Kellie are well-versed in Bachelor Nation, but...

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July 9, 2021 86 min

Content warning: sexual assault, sexual harassment, transphobia, child abuse, physical violence

In this episode, Mel and Alayna are joined by Hope Harbor volunteers, Ebony and Colin, to discuss cancel culture. We discuss Bill Cosby, Kobe Bryant, R. Kelly, J.K. Rowling, Shia LaBeouf, Antonio Brown, Justin Timberlake, Jason Moma, James Franco, and a few others. We discuss cancel culture in relation to sexual assault and harassment ac...

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Content warning: sexual assault, birth trauma, obstetric violence, episiotomies, birth rape

Mary Duke is a doula, Lamaze certified birth educator, and advocate for making the best choice for you and your family before, during, and after birth. Mel and Alayna have been longtime followers of Mary Duke and were so excited when she reached out to come on an episode. We are all comfortable talking about what is uncomfortable and in this...

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"When we do work within, we heal around." -Cre Dye

This episode is part two of a conversation Alayna and Mel had with Dr. Cre Dye. We were able to discuss shame, especially shame surrounding sex. This episode picks up where Alayna left off after using the term "non-men" to refer to experiences of women, nonbinary and trans people. Content warning: there is discussion of signs of child abuse in reference to child mas...

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In this episode, Dr. Cre Dye joins Alayna and Mel to discuss how we can heal our communities and effectively heal ourselves. A bunch of us at Hope Harbor are big fans of Cre's yoga, holistic approach to counseling, and her involvement in the community. We couldn't fit all of her accomplishments and involvements in this bio. We highly recommend finding her on Facebook at Cre Dye Yoga & Healing and Instagram at @credy...

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February 3, 2021 64 min

Content warning: sexual assault, childhood sexual assault, abuse

In this episode, Alayna and Mel talk with friend and Hope Harbor volunteer advocate about her healing journey after abuse, bisexuality, and poly relationships. We discuss the privilege of sex positivity and how identifying as a survivor has helped others. We also discussed how "sexual subcultures" can be empowering and are rooted in (like BDSM) consent and com...

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Content Warning: Discussion of trauma, child abuse, BDSM and kink culture, pornography, and domestic violence

Part 2 of a two part episode. We noticed the sound quality of this episode isn't our best, so this is the disclaimer! 

In this episode, Alayna and Mel are joined by a friend of the podcast who is an active member of the BDSM lifestyle. She discusses her personal journey learning and joining the BDSM community as a survi...

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Content Warning: Discussion of trauma, child abuse, BDSM and kink culture, pornography, and domestic violence

In this episode, Alayna and Mel are joined by a friend of the podcast who is an active member of the BDSM lifestyle. She discusses her personal journey learning and joining the BDSM community as a survivor of trauma. The discussion covers why BDSM can be healthy, why communication and consent is important, and how pop cultu...

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December 4, 2020 71 min

Content Warning: Discussion of trauma, eating disorders, and substance use

In this episode, Alayna and Mel are joined by coworker and Hope Harbor counselor Megan Kyle, LPCA. Megan shares her journey into becoming a counselor and her interest in holistic healing options for survivors of trauma. We discuss Equine Assisted Counseling/Therapy, sound baths using singing bowls, trauma informed yoga, and meditation. Our goal for this epis...

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October 28, 2020 48 min

Content Warning: violence against trans and gender diverse community, sexual assault

We recognize the immense responsibility our agency and those who provide support to survivors of sexual assault and work to prevent sexual violence from occurring have in being inclusive to trans and gender diverse folks as well as standing up for this community’s fair and equitable treatment. The harmful attitudes, treatment, and policies made aga...

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October 2, 2020 64 min

In this episode, Alayna and Mel discuss why #BlackLivesMatter and the importance for support providers to proudly support the BLM movement. We discuss violence against Black folx, Breonna Taylor's murder and case, law enforcement's role, and points we believe white people need to be made aware of within our privilege. We recorded a segment of this episode before the KY Attorney General, Daniel Cameron's announcement of ...

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September 11, 2020 48 min

In this episode, host Alayna Milby is joined by Maja Antonic to discuss her research on the history of rape in the American South. We also debut our theme in this episode, Girl Tones' Can't Pause. Girl Tones is a 2-piece punk rock band based out of Western Kentucky. Check out their website girltones.com 

Maja Antonic is the Prevention Specialist at Hope Harbor, Inc. where she began her work as a volunteer advocate and garde...

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August 24, 2020 4 min

Welcome to Still Not Asking For It! A podcast brought to you by Hope Harbor: A Sexual Trauma Recovery Center in south central Kentucky. We plan to offer regular episodes where Hope Harbor staff, volunteers, and community partners will discuss issues that surround sexual violence and rape culture. We hope to be a resource for survivors, anyone who knows a survivor (which is like everyone), and professionals to improve understanding ...

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