Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:04):
This is the stop
bending over podcast. And no,
this isn't a podcast about yourlower back pain. This is a place
for women to come together, worktheir shit out, get unstuck,
love themselves completely, andlive life the way you always
wanted. You want a betterbusiness, more income, and a
kick ass relationship whileyou're in the right place,
ladies, buckle up. No more COdependency. It's time to level
(00:26):
your life up. I'm your host.
Rita Marie Mendez, and this isthe stop bending over podcast.
Align your life for radicalsuccess.
Hey there. This is for all mybeautiful ladies that are ready
to step in to the next levelself, your vision where wealth,
(00:47):
freedom and ease become your newnormal. Well, that's exactly
what we're doing inside wealthand wisdom. This is my six month
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It's designed to help you alignwith your bigger vision, clear
the blocks that hold you back,especially those limiting
beliefs, and start creating realresults without burnout, without
overwhelm. And think nervoussystem regulation, boundary
(01:11):
setting, setting high standardsfor yourself and a strategy that
actually works for you,something that is in alignment
with your True Nature. So ifyou're craving deep momentum,
deep connection and a life thatfeels as good as it looks.
Wealth and wisdom is for you. Westart March 26 right now. Doors
are open for registration. Youcan book a discovery call with
(01:32):
me to see if wealth and wisdomactually can support what it is
that you want to create in 2025and beyond. And let me say this
when women join my coachingprograms in a group setting, we
create lasting change andsuccess. This is not a one hit
wonder. That is not what we'regoing for. We're going for
something deeper. We're goingfor something that literally
(01:53):
shifts the identity and selfperception of who you think you
are. Because I'll tell you rightnow, if you're listening to this
and this is resonating with you,who you think you are is muddled
up with a lot of limitingbeliefs and misunderstandings
about what's possible for you.
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(02:13):
just in money, but in every partof your life. Wealth is not just
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(02:56):
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cheats on her or steal somethingfor her or take something from
(03:18):
her. It's when we betrayourselves. And betraying
ourselves is something thatwe're so used to doing, we don't
even know we're doing it. So ifyou're ready to say yes to you
and step in with courage andjust step in and say yes, then
wealth and wisdom is the programfor you. Book a call with me.
We'll see if it's a good fit. Ilove you. All Be blessed.
(03:39):
Welcome back to the stop bendingover podcast. Align your life
for radical success. I'm yourhost. Rita Marie Mendez, today's
episode is really a product ofsome coaching calls and some
group workshops that I've beendoing as you know, the last
(03:59):
you know, over the last month,that's why I took a break from
podcasting. And now remember,you guys are my accountability
partners. Every week I amposting an episode, and you know
what I've come across more andmore, and this year, in 2025
what I've committed to is reallylooking at the past of what I've
come across like I was saying,of all these hundreds of and
(04:22):
hundreds of people that I'vecoached and 1000s of hours that
I've coached, and what I see aspart of the human experience and
what I can support people on.
And one of the things that'sbeen really evident at the
beginning of this year so farand towards the end of last year
is this energy ofstory and fear and scarcity, and
(04:43):
I'll explain all three of those.
So the energy of story is, tome, when we have things happen,
and I've shared this many timeson this podcast, when we have
childhood experiences.
That create something inside ofus that needs to cope, a part of
(05:05):
us that needs to cope withwhatever the experience is,
usually something negative. Thatcan be from the family of
origin. It could be from, youknow, other kids at school,
teachers, caregivers, any, anyof those, and all of those. So
anytime we have an experienceand the child needs to cope with
that. We make those experiencesmean something about us. It's
not conscious. They're justdoing it to cope. And so then I
(05:28):
create a strategy from thatmeaning to be able to be with
that experience, whether it'songoing, recurring, or a one
time the child takes that in.
Okay, great. So now we havethis. We'll call it a core
wound. We all have them. It'spart of the human condition. And
then core beliefs come out ofthat core wound. So for those of
you that track with me andfollow this podcast, that's kind
(05:49):
of just a you know, I'm going togive you this this once over
again, just so everyone that'snew that's listening can really
bring this home for themselves.
So now we have a core beliefabout us that isn't true.
And what happens is our corebeliefs create a filter in how
we see the world, how weperceive experiences, people,
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relationships, and also whatwe're able to receive. So this
is today's episode. Is aboutthis story, right? What we how
we perceive, and then our ownidentity around that, and fear
and scarcity. And so the fearand scarcity basically the same
thing, because scarcity says, Iam looking through the lens of
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fear to see what isn't present,to see what isn't possible, to
see I don't have enough. One ofthe first questions I'm going to
pose in this episode for you is,what's enough, whether that's
money or love, belongings,things, people, clients, what is
enough for you? So I got askedthat question years ago in my I
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did a master's program inspiritual psychology back in
2012and I remember one of my issues
was always thinking that Ididn't have enough money. It was
this thing with money, and itwas about the enoughness of it.
And my professor at the time hadsaid, Well, what's enough? And I
said, Well, I don't know. And Isaid, I don't know. I made up
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some number. I don't even knowwhat I had said to him, let's
say it's a million dollars. Idon't know. And he's like, Well,
is that enough, though, whateverthe number, let's pretend I
said, a million dollars, amillion dollars. And he said,
Well, how do you know that'senough? And I said, Well, I
guess I don't, until I getthere, he's like, right? Because
enough is an inside job. Enoughis not the number that we put on
it. What is enough? So what isenough for you? What is enough
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money? What is enough clients?
What is enoughwhen it comes to loving
relationship? What's enough inyour relationship to keep you
satisfied? So this all, andthis, all of it, comes back to
our core beliefs about what'spossible for us, and are we
seeing the world out ofprobability, the past or
possibility, which is an openinginto the future and into the
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present moment. And in order tobe in possibility, to live in
possibility, we have to bewilling and open to receiving.
And what I find most is womennot being great receivers,
because we're so busy giving anddoing and pouring into other
people that we forget about us.
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We if we're even on the list,many times we're last on the
list. So the first question is,what's enough? That's number
one. And number two is, youknow, what is your capacity to
receive right now? And maybe youdon't know the answer to either
one of those questions, andthat's okay, but these are just
questions for you to thinkabout, to ponder, to allow them
to bubble up, because when youask yourself really great
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questions, your unconscious,your reticular activating
system, your energy, will lookfor answers for you that are
meaningful to you. And so let'sswitch over to the perception
piece about what we perceive inthe world is enough, or what we
perceive in the world is againstus or for us. And so we're going
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to kind of go through these fourlevels. I'll call them four
levels of consciousness, orawareness for right now.
And so my perception, if I'm atthe very baseline of level of
consciousness of pretty dense,let's say pretty 3d in this
world, really, maybe not eventracking with all this shit that
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I'm saying, like, I don't know,Rita, that sounds like a bunch
of shit. I don't know. I'm good.
I'm good. Well,you probably won't keep
listening. So you're that'sprobably not you, just in case,
it's you and you're new, thenjust hear me out. So let's say
we're really attached to this 3ddense world that we live in,
physical body, the desk in frontof me, the computer, all the
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things, right? This.
There's that's one level, that'sa frequency. Everything vibrates
at an energetic frequency.
Everything is an atom made up ofcompound and of atoms, right?
Everything the desk, the cup,your computer, your body, your
car. So everything vibrates at asecret a frequency. So whatever
you're tuned into is what you'reattracting. So I'll say that
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again, whatever you're tunedinto is what you're attracting.
Tuned into a low levelperception of possibility, then
you're going to see that becauseyour perception is your reality,
your language creates yourreality. Your language is your
filter, your eye how you seethings, it's a filter based in
your belief system. And yourbeliefs are nothing more than
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thoughts that you've thought somany times you believe them to
be true. So today, is itpossible for you, any story that
you have running right now, anystory in your mind about you,
that limits you, about you thatlimits you. Is it possible that
that story isn't real, that thatstory isn't accurate about who
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you are? Is that a possibility?
Are you willing to evenconsider that things that you've
been saying about yourselfaren't true because a core
belief has us believing thingsthat are limiting to us when
when they come from a corewound. Let me, let me make sure
that you know that. And so whenyou do that, when you see life
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through the lens of limits, nowyou've tuned your frequency way,
way, way down. So the level ofconsciousness, we'll call it
level of awareness. We'll callit level of awareness is that
things are happening to me, tome. I can't believe that they
did that. That's not what theysaid they were going to do. I
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can't believe this is happeningto me. It always happens to me.
Another one is one of the ones Ihear. Another one is I never get
this is a good one that one ofmy friends would always say to
me when I was in the car withher, well, it's me. So of
course, I'm not going to get afront spot. It's going to take
me 10 minutes to find a parkingspot, because you see that
parking lot is against her,in her, in her mind. That's what
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happens, because it's her. Sohow many of us think like that,
like, well, it's me. So ofcourse, that happened. So those
small, seemingly small,insignificant thoughts are very
significant because they areprogramming your reality through
your thoughts, your beliefs andyour words and your languaging,
because out of all those things,comes your behavior. And so
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this, thisto me, awareness has been really
showing up in a lot of mycoaching lately, where when
someone gets triggered,they instantly go a trigger
means that something hashappened. In my world, there's
an experience, and I'm going touse an example to hypothetical,
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but it's just kind of relevantto what I've been seeing a lot
lately, the last three and fourmonths, and this is like, we'll
say, it's in business, and onecompany is doing something to
me, to my company, my business,and that's not what I signed up
for, instead of moving into aposition of ownership and
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empowerment. So to me, remember,to me is the first level of
awareness. The next level ofawareness is for me. So we're
raising up your frequency. Yourenergetic is going up a notch.
So you're growing in yourenergetic expansion and who you
are in growth, spiritually,physically, mentally,
emotionally and behaviorally. Byseeing that, wait a second.
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Could this be happening for mybenefit? Could who I perceive as
this bully actually bechallenging me as an opportunity
for growth and expansion in myown self leadership? Look at
that. Yes. The answer is yes.
That's exactly what it is that'sthe for me, that's the next
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level up of awareness for me.
This is happening for me, andnow I get to see this as How can
I grow from this? What aboutthis is a blind spot for me. I'm
being triggered. So that meansthere's something here from the
past that is coming forward intothe present moment. This is what
triggering means. And it'striggering a reaction, not a
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response, a reaction thatdoesn't match the situation. It
could be anger, upset, sadness,frustration. Usually it's anger,
lots of blaming and complaining.
That is a victim mentality.
That's when you know you'retriggered, because a victim
mentality comes from a part ofus that's unprocessed, still
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hasn't been processed yet.
Great. That means you have anopportunity to see it, but first
you have to, well, not you haveto. First you the awareness that
it's happening to me.
Me has to be the awareness thatsays, like, wait a second,
there's the pause that now I'mresponding. The pause is the
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response, not the reaction. Waita minute, I've been reacting to
this deep breath. Okay, I'maware that I'm super fucking
triggered. I don't like this, Idon't like them. I'm angry at
them, and then I get to see allmy frustrations and upsets are
for me. What is this teachingme? What is the lesson here? How
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will this support me in movingforward, in my own personal
growth and self leadership, andtherefore, because I take me
wherever I go. Now, look at myperception just shifted. I can
see things through a differentlens. Now my business is going
to shift. Do you know whathappens? You're open to receive
more more money, more answers,more solutions, more anything,
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more everything. Because I'm inreceiving mode now I'm not in
victim mode. I'm in creatormode. So now we've got our first
level, which is happening to me,I've got a victim's mentality,
and I'm reacting the next levelis for me, and in for me, I see
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it as a benefit for my growthand expansion. Being on this
planet, I get to expand and growin consciousness and money and
loving and all the things thatmy receiving opens up and for
me, awareness that level, thereceivership opens up for me,
the next level up is things arehappening by me, meaning I have
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this control over how things arehappening. They're happening by
me. I'm the creator. I'm cocreating. God is my co pilot.
The universe is my co pilot.
These things are happening byme. And then we're going to go
one level up, and we're going tosay through me, because as
women, we are the vessel ofreceivership. Things are
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happening through me, literally,our bodies are made to receive,
and what comes through us can'twhether you have children or
not, a child can pass throughus. That is, we're creating a
life, our bodies, our mind, ouremotions, every center of our
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being. This is my own take onwomen. We are so empowered. Our
bodies are literal miracleswalking this planet. And can we
give ourselves the grace? Can wegive ourselves the accolades?
Can we give ourselves thekindness to recognize that we
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are receivers on a physicallevel and an energetic level,
knowing you don't have to havekids, to know that our bodies
are literally the most amazingthings to me that we can do,
that we can bring a life intothis world, and we do it all the
time by birthing a business,birthing a relationship,
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birthing a new awareness in ourbody, temple or in our mind. And
this is the benefit of ofpersonal transformation, this
kind of work and just growing inyour level of awareness for
what's possible for you,anything is possible for you
when you see the world throughthe lens of possibility. And in
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order to do that, we get tostart questioning all the
thoughts that stand in the wayof whatever it is that we want
to experience and create. And sothis way of being moving up the
levels of awareness, from forme, to to me, by me, and then
through me, and then to me,there's an ultimate level, and
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that's just me, meaning justGod, just being one with the
Creator, whether it's the wordGod or universe, whatever you
use, that's the tip tippity topfor me is That level of fifth
level of awareness is justthere's no words there. It's
just being. It's just being. Canwe just be? And most of us, you
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know, we're you know our mindsare literally made. We have a
higher mind to run the hamsterwheel, especially as
entrepreneurs. And so today,what I just wanted to bring this
to you, because it's been so onmy heart
is you know is, where are yougiving your power away? Where
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are you? Where have you blockedyour own receiving, right? Where
have you blocked your ownreceiving? What belief about
myself no longer serves me?
Asking yourself these beautifulquestions allows just the
unfolding and opening for alevel of awareness to show up,
just the just a little bithigher, turning the frequency
just a little bit higher, right?
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And then from there, moving fromthe probability thinking, from
the past to possibility, andshifting our focus and our.
Perspective and a new way ofbeing with ourselves, to the
unfolding of what's present andwhat's possible for us. And that
takes that takes awareness, andit takes a commitment to doing
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this work and really questioningthe beliefs that you've had
about yourself, the negativeinternal dialog absolutely not
true, and questioning someuntruths that you've bought into
about what's possible for you onthe physical plane, just plain
old 3d what's possible for yourbusiness, what's possible for
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you when it comes to your money,what's possible for you when it
comes to being in a loving,intimate, healthy partnership,
partnership. And you know, whenit comes to
who you're being on this planet,what is it that you would like
people to remember about you?
You know, one of my coachessaid, Oh, I don't want people to
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remember anything about me,because then that focus would be
on me. And I thought, wow, thatwas really cool. At the same
time, it's like, you know, whatis the legacy that you wanting
to create for your children, foryourself, for your business, for
your community, whatever thatlooks like. It requires you to
move up that level, the levelsof awareness, so that you're
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showing up at the highest levelthat you can in the moment doing
your best. Can you give yourselfsome grace about doing your
best? And so when there's areas,I won't say if there's areas, I
will say when there's areas inour lives that aren't working,
just know that it affects allthe other areas if in your life.
So if one of your foundationalpieces is health and fitness,
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which it is, because this is ourbody temple, this houses our
soul, which carries us around.
When that's not tracking, maybeyour hormones are off, your
weight is too much, your diet ispoor, your energy is low. When
that isn't tracking, it'saffecting all the other areas of
your life, that's your money,that's your your relationships,
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your business, all of thosethings matter. So you take you
wherever you go. So looking atall the different areas of your
life, you know, in my new group,that's starting wealth and
wisdom. It starts in March, atthe end of March, in 2025
we look at all the areas and weaddress them all your
environment, everything thatmatters, you know, is, like I've
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said it before on this podcast,is your office or your home
office, or your office at work,or your work environment? Is
that? Is that really reflectingback to you who you're becoming
as an entrepreneur, or a Csuite, or a C level, or whatever
your position is. Is itindicative of who you're
(22:48):
becoming and what you'recreating, and when it's not,
then you get to look at it andsay, wow, I've got some
environment issues to clean up.
Maybe I have clutter. My deskneeds to be more organized. My
garage, when we start cleaningthings out, we create a vacuum
for our space to be filled, andwe get to ask for what we want
to bring into the vessel. I wantclarity, right? Clarity comes
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What does clarity come from?
Clarity comes from asking greatquestions, but taking the
downtime again. I'm going to goback to the energetics, slowing
way down to be with yourself,and just allow some really
beautiful questions in yourthinking time, in your
meditation, so that you canallow the answers to bubble up
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inside of you, rather thanlooking external for solutions
and answers. I guarantee youthat the answer to every issue
you've ever had you it's alreadysomewhere in your psyche, in
your body, temple, in yourawareness, in the collective
consciousness that could dropdown in your in your mind at any
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moment, from wherever else it isin the ethers, when we're
available to receive it. Sothat's that's my message today
is just be available to receive,and we have so many blocks to
receiving because we think we'renot worthy. We're not good
enough. All this bullshit. Andit is bullshit. It is absolutely
not true. And so someone asked,and I think I said this on the
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last episode, can you tell mehow to stop doing that? Yes, I
can stop doing that.
So, okay, I'm kidding, butreally stop doing that. It's
becoming aware of it as you'rethinking it in the moment. Is
thinking, Wow, is this true? Isthis true right now, what I'm
thinking is this true?
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Deep breath, no, I feel myselfgoing down that. You know, I
want to be a victim right now. Iwant, but no one ever says I
want to be a victim. Becauseanytime that someone comes to me
and they're super in the DramaTriangle, in the victim, any of
the roles in the Drama Triangle,which are all victim roles, when
they're in it to win it, and Isay victim, they get super
triggered. Oh, I'm not a victim.
Hands down 100% we're.
(25:00):
Not victims were showing up asone in the moment in that
situation.
And so when you want to get outof that, when you're ready to
shift that, that's when then youget to be with yourself tuning
your frequency to a differentstation that receives more more
information, more goodness, morekindness, more of all the
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things, more abundance, moreprosperity, and more love.
Because we have all the love inthe world inside of us, and it's
blocked off in certain areasthat where we've been hurt
before. And so, you know, goingback to this, the receivership,
and you're being with yourself.
How do I say it? And just beingwith yourself takes self
(25:44):
discipline, because you have.
You get to be willing to allowand receive and give yourself
the downtime, give yourself themeditation moment, give yourself
the playfulness time and so, youknow, I hope this episode is is
really resonating with anyonethat needs to hear it. I don't
(26:06):
know who needs to hear it. Aboutreceivership and letting go of
this against nest withhave things happening to me,
because I've been hearing that alot lately. Things are happening
to me. I don't like this.
They're doing that. So nowthey've got this other business,
put in the bully role, and I'min the victim role right from
the get go. That's how it'sthat's how it goes. The only way
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to remove yourself from theDrama Triangle is to move into
the Empowered triangle, theempowered way of being. And it
takes one simple thing, a shiftin perception, a change in the
mind. That's all. That's why Isay in the amount of time it
takes you to change your mind,you can change your life right
there. That's that simple. And,and what most people are not
(26:51):
willing to do is change yourmind. No, I'm right, and I'm
this is my story, and I'mfucking sticking to it. And, and
when you release that, when youlet go of like possibly, I can
be looking at thislike they're doing something to
me. That's just how it feelsgreat. Is every feeling that
you've ever felt accurate, or isit coming from a thought where
you're being triggered by thepast that says I'm scared, I'm
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afraid they're taking somethingfrom me, because if that's the
feeling that's not accurate.
So do you see moving into theempowered way of being requires
a shift in perception, requiresyou to see like, How can I
learn? How can I increase myself leadership? Where is the
opportunity for my growth inthis? Maybe it is to separate
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from that other business and seethat as just not a good fit, or
to renegotiate the agreement soit is a good fit. That's a
simple solution. Most peopledon't do that, though. They
blame and complain, and theystay stuck in the Drama
Triangle, and then the resultsof that blaming and complaining
show up in their business. Andyou know what that means is that
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I'm not ready to grow andexpand. I want to stay safe and
what have I always say to youguys, familiarity does not equal
safety. So just because thenervous system feels safe does
not mean that you are safe. It'sjust familiar. And so when we
want to grow and expand ourconsciousness, when we want to
grow and expand our awareness,when we want to grow and expand
(28:19):
our businesses and our money andour capacity to receive it
requires a new mind, which justmeans a shift in perception. You
can do it. You've got this.
You've got me on the side ofyou. Ever want to DM me and give
me a subject that you would loveto hear me coach you on DME on
Instagram at Rita Marie Mendez,I am more than happy to put it
(28:40):
on the podcast here, and you canget some coaching by DMing me an
issue that you might be havingthat you would like to hear me
coach on. So I hope this washelpful. It was a little
impromptu. So if it was a littleall over the place, I would
apologies, but I wouldapologize, but I'm not going to,
because I don't know. I'm justnot.
It's a podcast, so I hope thiswas helpful. If you think this
(29:05):
was something that one of yourfriends might need to hear,
share it with them. Spread theword, spread the love, and let's
bring the awareness and theconsciousness of the planet up a
notch today. And you can do thatby being kind to yourself and
being kind to others. So this isme to you, saying, Love you all
be blessed.
Thanks so much for joining metoday. And remember, any links
(29:28):
or websites that are mentionedin the show will always be in
the show notes of each episode.
And if we haven't connected yet,please come over and find me on
Instagram at Rita Marie Mendezand send me a DM. Let me know
what you thought of thisepisode. Tell me a little bit
about yourself and ask mequestions. I love questions. I'm
here to support you in yourgrowth and expansion. Thanks for
tuning in, and if you love theshow, follow, subscribe and go
(29:49):
ahead and give it a rating andreview five stars, of course,
until next time, beautiful ones,be blessed. You.