June 26, 2025 • 17 mins
Are you wondering why alcohol doesn't work for you the way it used to?
Your body might be signaling a profound transformation – perimenopause. As a holistic alcohol coach working with women for over five years, I’ve discovered that this transitional phase requires a sacred pause from alcohol to truly understand what’s happening within.
Perimenopause literally means "the time before the pausing of the month/moon" – it’s a threshold experience inviting you into an unbothered, unapologetic era of your life.
But here's the crucial insight: you cannot navigate this transition effectively while alcohol is in your system. It creates an imbalance on top of an already fluctuating hormonal landscape, making it impossible to gather accurate data about your changing body.
Key Takeaways:
- Perimenopause is a transformational phase that alcohol can distort.
- Alcohol disrupts hormonal balance, masking the signals your body is trying to send.
- Shifting your perspective from "problem" to "possibility" helps you navigate change with ease.
- The same tools that help you quit alcohol also support you through perimenopause: awareness, body literacy, and perspective shifts.
- Taking a sacred pause from alcohol allows you to reconnect with your true self in this new phase of life.
Ready to discover what your changing body is trying to tell you?
Grab my free urge guide in the show notes to find relief without a drink—no deprivation required. Your unbothered, unapologetic era awaits.
DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Stop Drinking and Start Living the
Feminine Way.
I'm your hostess, mary Wagstaff, holistic Alcohol Coach and
Feminine Embodiment Guide, hereto help you effortlessly release
alcohol by reclaiming yourfeminine essence.
Sobriety isn't just aboutquitting drinking.
It's about removing thedistortions that keep you
(00:25):
disconnected, overwhelmed andstuck in cycles of numbing.
Each week I'll share powerfultools, new perspectives that
transform, and deeply relatablestories to help you step into
the power, pleasure and purposethat it is to be a woman.
This is your next evolution ofawakened empowerment.
(00:46):
Welcome to the Feminine Way.
Welcome back to the show.
My beautiful listeners.
It's Mary Wagstaff.
If this is your first time here, welcome.
If you don't know me, I shouldreintroduce myself.
I kind of have had thisreinvigorating, inspiring energy
(01:08):
about work, about marketing,about you, about me really
fueling through me, and it mightbe the summer vibes, it might
be all the fresh flowers thatI'm cutting, but I've been a
holistic alcohol coach privatelyfor women for five and a half
years and I know I have a lot ofnew listeners to the show and a
lot of new people following me,um, and even just meeting
(01:30):
people here on the farm If youare in Oregon and the Dells,
like in um, close to theColumbia river gorge.
Absolutely reach out to me.
I am hosting the best thingever.
It's called ladies night and itis a Tuesday night on the farm
and I had the most successfulfirst week, first two weeks.
Actually it was a dream.
I'm pinching myself.
(01:51):
It's so much hard work.
But we're going to talk aboutthat today.
We're going to talk about thedifference between problems and
perspectives and especiallyduring a perimenopause phase,
which, if you're listening tothis, you are probably in that
phase or on the other side of it, um, but you might still be
kind of finding your newhormonal normal.
(02:12):
So one of my very favoritethings to do and probably one of
my greatest gifts I will say um, and it's so much easier now to
really exclaim my gifts and thethings that I feel like I'm
kind of naturally good at.
On the other side of sobrietybecause we should do that right
Is honor ourselves and ourachievements is gathering women
(02:37):
and creating space.
I am a Taurus and Taurus come inmany different versions, but
it's really about the beauty way.
A lot of Taurus are really uminto like material things and
just like the idea of likeeverything being the beauty way
love, so fabrics, textures,clothing, senses.
(02:58):
So for me I'm really likesensory sensitive, um, kind of
in the best way.
Sometimes it's a littleoverwhelming and I have to
create an environment for that.
And I know as women, especiallyduring certain times of the
month, we can also be sensorysensitive.
But because of that I love tocreate.
We laugh in this house called,we say, on Beyonce um, in
(03:21):
tribute to the queen too, but um.
So I love to create on Beyonceand I joke that every house I've
ever moved into I've the queentoo, but um.
So I love to create ambianceand I joke that every house I've
ever moved into I've.
The first thing that I do ishave Matthew put in dimmer
switches, because who can havebright lights?
I once we were in thistemporary house housing once
where they had the fan and thelight in the bathroom on the
(03:42):
same switch, so every time youturned on the light in the
bathroom you also had to havethe fan on.
Okay, that is my biggestnightmare.
Who lives like that?
So if that tells you anythingabout me, that is it.
So this idea of creating thissacred sanctuary on the farm
with flowers and then havingwomen meet each other and mingle
and cut flowers and then havingwomen meet each other and
(04:06):
mingle and cut flowers, oh mygosh Right, I mean I'm kind of
like sleeping enough, butthere's just enough time to
sleep.
Um, but it's not a problem,because winter will happen and
eventually I'll die, and youknow, then we move on.
So the time in between and Iexpressed this when I was
inviting people to the um, toladies night on the farm um is,
(04:31):
you know, I was getting ready.
I'm like cutting the flowers atharvest, and it's best to cut
them in the morning, whilethey're still hydrated, and I'm
like rushing through it so I canget to the gym, so I can get
onto the things that.
And you know, my biggestinvitation to you is to not let
your life and I know that thiscan happen during this phase is
to not let your life be a to-dolist, to not like let the most
(04:54):
it just be going through themotions just to check another
thing off the list.
Because the truth is is all ofthe things that you've decided
to do is, in my opinion, myperspective for my life.
All of the things that I'vedecided to do and I see this
with my clients there are thingsthat you love, there are things
that you've wanted to do, butwhen they all add up and they
(05:15):
stack up and then you haveactual human needs like sleep,
like hydration and just restingyour nervous system and
sometimes literally not doing.
We need breaks, we needdowntime, we need time for
creative energy, we need time tothink and to just be, um, the
things that we love to do.
Even our families can become aburden, can become a problem,
(05:41):
but I was talking to Matthewabout this, so let me digress.
In the flower field that morning, I was like Mary, you, this is
like who are you cutting theseflowers for Right?
You, you, I'm cutting them forme, right, even if I put them in
a bouquet and sell them, evenif they die, like whatever is.
This moment is for you, and weknow that when we engage with
(06:04):
nature and the senses that weget, these like negative ions
and our serotonin levels turn onand there's just all these
magical things that happen.
So all I did was I literallyjust stood up, I looked around,
I took a deep breath and Isoftened my body intentionally.
(06:26):
This is the magic of awareness,right, that you literally don't
have to change yourcircumstance, and I talked to so
many people who, who you know,sign up for consultations or
come in for an emotional supportsession, and they're like I
need tools.
I need tools that are differentthan you know, than alcohol.
I need tools to not drink andwhile that, you know, a deep
(06:48):
breath, breath, work as a tool.
Awareness is your best friendbecause you can have all the
tools for your triggers of likeI'm going to go for a walk, I'm
going to drink a glass of icewater, I'm going to play the
tape forward, I'm going to doall these things and they're all
great.
I'm not going to say they'renot like Pack your bag with
tools.
But rather than having to havea tool and to solve a problem or
(07:18):
even to change yourcircumstance, you can also have
a new perspective, which isthere's no rush.
Right, that's the feminine way.
There's no rush.
The second I told myself that inthe field that morning I
softened.
I wasn't really moving quicker,or rather I wasn't really
moving slower.
It was a vibe, it was a totalvibe and I did my thing.
(07:44):
I didn't, you know, I was like,if I'm later to the gym, like I
gave myself a little bit ofleeway.
I've had to really be workingon my schedule these days, um,
but I knew I had some time thatI had buffered, that I probably
would have done.
You know, typically scheduledfor marketing or something in
between getting home from thegym and my first client.
(08:04):
So I was like, you know, I'mstill figuring out the harvest
schedule and, um, there's alwaystime, you know, I can write an
email at any time, but I can'talways harvest the flowers at
that time.
So I it just wasn't a problem,right, and so there's a
softening.
Now sometimes, and inevitably,our minds are going to take us
(08:25):
away.
They're going to take us awayfrom even the ability to access
that, or life is just going tokind of pour things on you so
say, there's something like likethat was all in my control
right Now.
Sometimes you don't have thatbecause you have to be to work
at a certain time, or it startspouring down rain and there's,
you know, like the laundry ishanging out or whatever it is,
(08:47):
and you are kind of hustling.
But there's still theopportunity for a shift in
perspective and I will continueto say this because I need to
hear it every single day.
If I've made it this far,things are working out in my
favor.
Matthew and I were just talkingabout how, um, and if you look
(09:09):
at like, say, the sevengenerations past of your
ancestry, rather than a no,evolutionarily, that could have
depleted that line, there was ayes, there was a yes for
whatever happened right For thenext phase of the evolution that
kept the species surviving,like it's just been a yes and a
yes and a yes and a yes becauseyou've made it this far right.
(09:31):
And what else do we want, right?
Do we want it served on a goldplatter?
And the thing is of controllingyour mind and your attention is
there is a million ways forpeople to distract you from your
joy and your happiness and thatis available to you every
single day.
And if I'm not counting myblessings, I'm doing it wrong.
(09:55):
I can focus on a million thingsthat are wrong in the world, or
I can focus on a million thingsthat are right and have more
access and more capacity to be asolution and an anchor and a
grounding force, right.
So the sobriety 2.0, what I'mnoticing and what you will all
start to see my content shiftingtowards a little bit, is
(10:19):
perimenopause.
I've probably been inperimenopause, at least like
kind of in a big way for likethree years, and it wasn't that
I like didn't want to admit it,it just that it wasn't blaring
enough, blatant enough that Iwas like, oh, this is it, and I
really want to.
It needs my attention becausemy health is being affected by
(10:42):
it and you know I've beenobsessed with charting my cycle.
Like, charting my cycle has oneof the ways that I got sober
and one of the things I teach myclients and my cycle started to
shift.
So, to find my new hormonalnormal, I had to start charting
my cycle, um, like in a kind ofa different way, or just paying
attention in a new way, and it'sbeen such a game changer and
(11:05):
such an honoring to this phase.
That really is the pivotalmoment that we get to have as
women, to step through athreshold as a rite of passage
that maybe we didn't have inmotherhood because we didn't
have the awareness or we didn'thave the knowing, or we were
just too distracted or justwasn't as important.
So perimenopause literally meanthe time, like the space before
(11:32):
leading up to time standingstill right.
So menopause is the pausing ofthe month, or the pausing of the
moon, if you look at theetymology of it.
So it has nothing to do withmen.
It's actually a Greek word, men, meaning moon or month, and
this is how we track our cycle,so we know it's in alignment
(11:54):
with the moon.
Now, your cycle might notalways sync up with the actual
new moon to dark moon andovulation being at the full moon
, but, um, you can start tochart it that way Once you are
in menopause, once yourmenstruation ceases to be.
So it's this pausing of time,it's like space out of time,
(12:19):
right?
And what does that mean for you?
Well, it means we don't have tolive by the same rules that we
once lived by.
That we get to be in this thatwe've once lived by, that we get
to be in this unbothered,unapologetic, permissive
experience.
And whether or not you're most,I guarantee you either you're
(12:41):
listening to this and you're inperimenopause or you're on the
other side of this is most of myclients, and this is why they
come to me because alcohol isn'tworking anymore, because it's
not working for the change inyour cyclical nature.
So I'm really shifting my focusto help perimenopausal women
take a sacred pause from alcohol, so that they can find a sacred
(13:03):
pause it's a little play onwords their new hormonal normal
you will not be able to find outwhat is new for you and find a
new way of being in your newbody and remembering and
reclaiming who you are now,while alcohol is still in the
mix, it's impossible, there'sjust no way, because it's
(13:26):
creating an imbalance on top ofan imbalance.
So to find your new hormonalnormal say that 10 times fast
and to track the data right, wehave to eliminate anything
that's in the way of that.
We have to be able to track thedata from a very neutral,
loving perspective.
In honor of all of the time LikeI get so excited now when I
(13:48):
start my period A, because it'slike the best time of the month
for me, when between in it rightnow and I'm on cloud nine and
I've got lots of energy and Ifeel really good, and you know,
my days 15 to 21 have switchedto be kind of my downtime, the
time where I'm just like reallyneed more sleep, energetically
(14:12):
low and like that's okay, right,and so something I you know,
one of the thoughts I want youto take away with this week is
that no one else needs tounderstand but you.
But when you're seekingexternal validation and you'll
probably hear me say this in thenext few podcasts is that you
might not understand, and thechances are is that if you're
(14:34):
struggling with alcohol, thatand you're like, why did this
used to work and it doesn't?
And there's this back and forth, and this tug of war is that if
you're struggling with alcoholand you're like, why did this
used to work and it doesn't?
And there's this back and forth, and this tug of war is that
you don't fully understand youright now.
Right, because if you haven'ttaken the time to really take a
step back and chart your newnormal, you're not going to
understand.
And when alcohol is in the mix,it's just going to throw
(14:56):
everything into a loop.
So I am offering this is thefirst time I've offered this and
it's going to be on thecalendar from here on out a
emotional support session.
This is a one-off 75 minuteopportunity for you to come and
take that step back and reallymake a plan for yourself right
(15:16):
now.
So, in addition to my privatecoaching program, I had a
one-off session recently with amentor and kind of um a
colleague of mine as well.
I just really needed to beheard, to be seen and to get
perspective and to get kind ofover the hump of where I was at.
I was kind of spinning right.
I was spinning and compoundingthose emotions and being seen
(15:41):
and having someone tell me thatthey understand and really
giving me a path forward wassuch a game changer for me and
it's really helped me clear thismission up for me.
Uh, this shifting into reallytying in the necessity of the
pause from alcohol to understandyour perimenopause Because what
I've experienced personally isthat the tools that I use to
(16:05):
quit drinking are the exact sametools that I'm using to
navigate through this change inmy life and I'm so excited for
it.
To be frankly honest, I'm justlike this is my era.
I am in my unbothered,unologetic era, but with such
like making space for so muchcompassion and a big heart, and
so there's a differentperspective, like there's a
(16:26):
different intention, but theyare the same tools and so I'm so
glad I have them and I'm soglad I was able to see it and
I'm so glad that I'm able toshift into perspectives and
create solutions throughperspective rather than problems
.
I love you.
You're so amazing, reach outand I can't wait to connect soon
(16:47):
and we are still going to bemoving forward every single
month with our live sistercircle.
So if you're not on my emaillist, sign up, you will get the
link and you'll also get thecalm guide to help you really
help to shift into this innerself-validation so that you can
start to understand yourself.
(17:08):
Bye, the days of whiteknuckling your way through an
urge are over.
No more distracting yourself,no more avoiding alcohol, no
more resisting and I am notexaggerating when I say that
doing this one thing for fiveminutes will change not only how
successful you are in drinkingless, but how much you will love
(17:29):
your alcohol-free life.
You are going to feel so good.
So come on over to my websiteor follow the link right here in
the show notes to grab the freeurge guide that gives you the
exact cheat codes to use to findrelief without a drink.
And the best part is nodeprivation, no missing out
required.
I'll see you over,marywagstaffcoachcom.
Welcome to Stop Drinking and Start Living the
Feminine Way.
I'm your hostess, mary Wagstaff, holistic Alcohol Coach and
Feminine Embodiment Guide, hereto help you effortlessly release
alcohol by reclaiming yourfeminine essence.
Sobriety isn't just aboutquitting drinking.
It's about removing thedistortions that keep you
(00:25):
disconnected, overwhelmed andstuck in cycles of numbing.
Each week I'll share powerfultools, new perspectives that
transform, and deeply relatablestories to help you step into
the power, pleasure and purposethat it is to be a woman.
This is your next evolution ofawakened empowerment.
(00:46):
Welcome to the Feminine Way.
Welcome back to the show.
My beautiful listeners.
It's Mary Wagstaff.
If this is your first time here, welcome.
If you don't know me, I shouldreintroduce myself.
I kind of have had thisreinvigorating, inspiring energy
(01:08):
about work, about marketing,about you, about me really
fueling through me, and it mightbe the summer vibes, it might
be all the fresh flowers thatI'm cutting, but I've been a
holistic alcohol coach privatelyfor women for five and a half
years and I know I have a lot ofnew listeners to the show and a
lot of new people following me,um, and even just meeting
(01:30):
people here on the farm If youare in Oregon and the Dells,
like in um, close to theColumbia river gorge.
Absolutely reach out to me.
I am hosting the best thingever.
It's called ladies night and itis a Tuesday night on the farm
and I had the most successfulfirst week, first two weeks.
Actually it was a dream.
I'm pinching myself.
(01:51):
It's so much hard work.
But we're going to talk aboutthat today.
We're going to talk about thedifference between problems and
perspectives and especiallyduring a perimenopause phase,
which, if you're listening tothis, you are probably in that
phase or on the other side of it, um, but you might still be
kind of finding your newhormonal normal.
(02:12):
So one of my very favoritethings to do and probably one of
my greatest gifts I will say um, and it's so much easier now to
really exclaim my gifts and thethings that I feel like I'm
kind of naturally good at.
On the other side of sobrietybecause we should do that right
Is honor ourselves and ourachievements is gathering women
(02:37):
and creating space.
I am a Taurus and Taurus come inmany different versions, but
it's really about the beauty way.
A lot of Taurus are really uminto like material things and
just like the idea of likeeverything being the beauty way
love, so fabrics, textures,clothing, senses.
(02:58):
So for me I'm really likesensory sensitive, um, kind of
in the best way.
Sometimes it's a littleoverwhelming and I have to
create an environment for that.
And I know as women, especiallyduring certain times of the
month, we can also be sensorysensitive.
But because of that I love tocreate.
We laugh in this house called,we say, on Beyonce um, in
(03:21):
tribute to the queen too, but um.
So I love to create on Beyonceand I joke that every house I've
ever moved into I've the queentoo, but um.
So I love to create ambianceand I joke that every house I've
ever moved into I've.
The first thing that I do ishave Matthew put in dimmer
switches, because who can havebright lights?
I once we were in thistemporary house housing once
where they had the fan and thelight in the bathroom on the
(03:42):
same switch, so every time youturned on the light in the
bathroom you also had to havethe fan on.
Okay, that is my biggestnightmare.
Who lives like that?
So if that tells you anythingabout me, that is it.
So this idea of creating thissacred sanctuary on the farm
with flowers and then havingwomen meet each other and mingle
and cut flowers and then havingwomen meet each other and
(04:06):
mingle and cut flowers, oh mygosh Right, I mean I'm kind of
like sleeping enough, butthere's just enough time to
sleep.
Um, but it's not a problem,because winter will happen and
eventually I'll die, and youknow, then we move on.
So the time in between and Iexpressed this when I was
inviting people to the um, toladies night on the farm um is,
(04:31):
you know, I was getting ready.
I'm like cutting the flowers atharvest, and it's best to cut
them in the morning, whilethey're still hydrated, and I'm
like rushing through it so I canget to the gym, so I can get
onto the things that.
And you know, my biggestinvitation to you is to not let
your life and I know that thiscan happen during this phase is
to not let your life be a to-dolist, to not like let the most
(04:54):
it just be going through themotions just to check another
thing off the list.
Because the truth is is all ofthe things that you've decided
to do is, in my opinion, myperspective for my life.
All of the things that I'vedecided to do and I see this
with my clients there are thingsthat you love, there are things
that you've wanted to do, butwhen they all add up and they
(05:15):
stack up and then you haveactual human needs like sleep,
like hydration and just restingyour nervous system and
sometimes literally not doing.
We need breaks, we needdowntime, we need time for
creative energy, we need time tothink and to just be, um, the
things that we love to do.
Even our families can become aburden, can become a problem,
(05:41):
but I was talking to Matthewabout this, so let me digress.
In the flower field that morning, I was like Mary, you, this is
like who are you cutting theseflowers for Right?
You, you, I'm cutting them forme, right, even if I put them in
a bouquet and sell them, evenif they die, like whatever is.
This moment is for you, and weknow that when we engage with
(06:04):
nature and the senses that weget, these like negative ions
and our serotonin levels turn onand there's just all these
magical things that happen.
So all I did was I literallyjust stood up, I looked around,
I took a deep breath and Isoftened my body intentionally.
(06:26):
This is the magic of awareness,right, that you literally don't
have to change yourcircumstance, and I talked to so
many people who, who you know,sign up for consultations or
come in for an emotional supportsession, and they're like I
need tools.
I need tools that are differentthan you know, than alcohol.
I need tools to not drink andwhile that, you know, a deep
(06:48):
breath, breath, work as a tool.
Awareness is your best friendbecause you can have all the
tools for your triggers of likeI'm going to go for a walk, I'm
going to drink a glass of icewater, I'm going to play the
tape forward, I'm going to doall these things and they're all
great.
I'm not going to say they'renot like Pack your bag with
tools.
But rather than having to havea tool and to solve a problem or
(07:18):
even to change yourcircumstance, you can also have
a new perspective, which isthere's no rush.
Right, that's the feminine way.
There's no rush.
The second I told myself that inthe field that morning I
softened.
I wasn't really moving quicker,or rather I wasn't really
moving slower.
It was a vibe, it was a totalvibe and I did my thing.
(07:44):
I didn't, you know, I was like,if I'm later to the gym, like I
gave myself a little bit ofleeway.
I've had to really be workingon my schedule these days, um,
but I knew I had some time thatI had buffered, that I probably
would have done.
You know, typically scheduledfor marketing or something in
between getting home from thegym and my first client.
(08:04):
So I was like, you know, I'mstill figuring out the harvest
schedule and, um, there's alwaystime, you know, I can write an
email at any time, but I can'talways harvest the flowers at
that time.
So I it just wasn't a problem,right, and so there's a
softening.
Now sometimes, and inevitably,our minds are going to take us
(08:25):
away.
They're going to take us awayfrom even the ability to access
that, or life is just going tokind of pour things on you so
say, there's something like likethat was all in my control
right Now.
Sometimes you don't have thatbecause you have to be to work
at a certain time, or it startspouring down rain and there's,
you know, like the laundry ishanging out or whatever it is,
(08:47):
and you are kind of hustling.
But there's still theopportunity for a shift in
perspective and I will continueto say this because I need to
hear it every single day.
If I've made it this far,things are working out in my
favor.
Matthew and I were just talkingabout how, um, and if you look
(09:09):
at like, say, the sevengenerations past of your
ancestry, rather than a no,evolutionarily, that could have
depleted that line, there was ayes, there was a yes for
whatever happened right For thenext phase of the evolution that
kept the species surviving,like it's just been a yes and a
yes and a yes and a yes becauseyou've made it this far right.
(09:31):
And what else do we want, right?
Do we want it served on a goldplatter?
And the thing is of controllingyour mind and your attention is
there is a million ways forpeople to distract you from your
joy and your happiness and thatis available to you every
single day.
And if I'm not counting myblessings, I'm doing it wrong.
(09:55):
I can focus on a million thingsthat are wrong in the world, or
I can focus on a million thingsthat are right and have more
access and more capacity to be asolution and an anchor and a
grounding force, right.
So the sobriety 2.0, what I'mnoticing and what you will all
start to see my content shiftingtowards a little bit, is
(10:19):
perimenopause.
I've probably been inperimenopause, at least like
kind of in a big way for likethree years, and it wasn't that
I like didn't want to admit it,it just that it wasn't blaring
enough, blatant enough that Iwas like, oh, this is it, and I
really want to.
It needs my attention becausemy health is being affected by
(10:42):
it and you know I've beenobsessed with charting my cycle.
Like, charting my cycle has oneof the ways that I got sober
and one of the things I teach myclients and my cycle started to
shift.
So, to find my new hormonalnormal, I had to start charting
my cycle, um, like in a kind ofa different way, or just paying
attention in a new way, and it'sbeen such a game changer and
(11:05):
such an honoring to this phase.
That really is the pivotalmoment that we get to have as
women, to step through athreshold as a rite of passage
that maybe we didn't have inmotherhood because we didn't
have the awareness or we didn'thave the knowing, or we were
just too distracted or justwasn't as important.
So perimenopause literally meanthe time, like the space before
(11:32):
leading up to time standingstill right.
So menopause is the pausing ofthe month, or the pausing of the
moon, if you look at theetymology of it.
So it has nothing to do withmen.
It's actually a Greek word, men, meaning moon or month, and
this is how we track our cycle,so we know it's in alignment
(11:54):
with the moon.
Now, your cycle might notalways sync up with the actual
new moon to dark moon andovulation being at the full moon
, but, um, you can start tochart it that way Once you are
in menopause, once yourmenstruation ceases to be.
So it's this pausing of time,it's like space out of time,
(12:19):
right?
And what does that mean for you?
Well, it means we don't have tolive by the same rules that we
once lived by.
That we get to be in this thatwe've once lived by, that we get
to be in this unbothered,unapologetic, permissive
experience.
And whether or not you're most,I guarantee you either you're
(12:41):
listening to this and you're inperimenopause or you're on the
other side of this is most of myclients, and this is why they
come to me because alcohol isn'tworking anymore, because it's
not working for the change inyour cyclical nature.
So I'm really shifting my focusto help perimenopausal women
take a sacred pause from alcohol, so that they can find a sacred
(13:03):
pause it's a little play onwords their new hormonal normal
you will not be able to find outwhat is new for you and find a
new way of being in your newbody and remembering and
reclaiming who you are now,while alcohol is still in the
mix, it's impossible, there'sjust no way, because it's
(13:26):
creating an imbalance on top ofan imbalance.
So to find your new hormonalnormal say that 10 times fast
and to track the data right, wehave to eliminate anything
that's in the way of that.
We have to be able to track thedata from a very neutral,
loving perspective.
In honor of all of the time LikeI get so excited now when I
(13:48):
start my period A, because it'slike the best time of the month
for me, when between in it rightnow and I'm on cloud nine and
I've got lots of energy and Ifeel really good, and you know,
my days 15 to 21 have switchedto be kind of my downtime, the
time where I'm just like reallyneed more sleep, energetically
(14:12):
low and like that's okay, right,and so something I you know,
one of the thoughts I want youto take away with this week is
that no one else needs tounderstand but you.
But when you're seekingexternal validation and you'll
probably hear me say this in thenext few podcasts is that you
might not understand, and thechances are is that if you're
(14:34):
struggling with alcohol, thatand you're like, why did this
used to work and it doesn't?
And there's this back and forth, and this tug of war is that if
you're struggling with alcoholand you're like, why did this
used to work and it doesn't?
And there's this back and forth, and this tug of war is that
you don't fully understand youright now.
Right, because if you haven'ttaken the time to really take a
step back and chart your newnormal, you're not going to
understand.
And when alcohol is in the mix,it's just going to throw
(14:56):
everything into a loop.
So I am offering this is thefirst time I've offered this and
it's going to be on thecalendar from here on out a
emotional support session.
This is a one-off 75 minuteopportunity for you to come and
take that step back and reallymake a plan for yourself right
(15:16):
now.
So, in addition to my privatecoaching program, I had a
one-off session recently with amentor and kind of um a
colleague of mine as well.
I just really needed to beheard, to be seen and to get
perspective and to get kind ofover the hump of where I was at.
I was kind of spinning right.
I was spinning and compoundingthose emotions and being seen
(15:41):
and having someone tell me thatthey understand and really
giving me a path forward wassuch a game changer for me and
it's really helped me clear thismission up for me.
Uh, this shifting into reallytying in the necessity of the
pause from alcohol to understandyour perimenopause Because what
I've experienced personally isthat the tools that I use to
(16:05):
quit drinking are the exact sametools that I'm using to
navigate through this change inmy life and I'm so excited for
it.
To be frankly honest, I'm justlike this is my era.
I am in my unbothered,unologetic era, but with such
like making space for so muchcompassion and a big heart, and
so there's a differentperspective, like there's a
(16:26):
different intention, but theyare the same tools and so I'm so
glad I have them and I'm soglad I was able to see it and
I'm so glad that I'm able toshift into perspectives and
create solutions throughperspective rather than problems
.
I love you.
You're so amazing, reach outand I can't wait to connect soon
(16:47):
and we are still going to bemoving forward every single
month with our live sistercircle.
So if you're not on my emaillist, sign up, you will get the
link and you'll also get thecalm guide to help you really
help to shift into this innerself-validation so that you can
start to understand yourself.
(17:08):
Bye, the days of whiteknuckling your way through an
urge are over.
No more distracting yourself,no more avoiding alcohol, no
more resisting and I am notexaggerating when I say that
doing this one thing for fiveminutes will change not only how
successful you are in drinkingless, but how much you will love
(17:29):
your alcohol-free life.
You are going to feel so good.
So come on over to my websiteor follow the link right here in
the show notes to grab the freeurge guide that gives you the
exact cheat codes to use to findrelief without a drink.
And the best part is nodeprivation, no missing out
required.
I'll see you over,marywagstaffcoachcom.
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