November 3, 2025 • 18 mins
❌ 100% FREE VIDEO TRAINING (2025) ❌ New Method To Control Alcohol in 48 Hours ➡️ https://www.soberclear.com/video/?el=podcast
🔥 APPLY FOR SOBERCLEAR PROGRAM 🔥 Currently Accepting New Clients. Apply Here ➡️ https://www.soberclear.com/quiz/?el=podcast
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical, and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, tools,and strategies to start living
your best life when alcoholfree.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to www.soberclear.com.
(00:22):
Most people think that quittingalcohol is so much harder than
it needs to be.
And I used to believe that.
During the 10 years that I triedto stop drinking alcohol, it was
so difficult.
But literally overnight, it wentfrom this fight to the easiest
thing I've ever done in my life.
So today in this video, I'mgoing to show you 10 things that
make quitting alcohol feeleffortless.
(00:43):
You won't even feel like you'vegiven anything up.
A quick introduction, my name isLeon Sylvester.
I'm the founder ofsoberclear.com.
These 10 things haven't justimpacted my own life, but these
are the things I've shown tensof thousands of people over the
years and they've had the exactsame result as me.
Stopping drinking became achoice instead of a fight.
So these 10 things are tried,tested, and proven to work.
(01:05):
I'd really recommend you watchthe entire video and don't miss
any of the points.
Because honestly, the last oneis a game changer.
So the very first thing that youabsolutely need to do, I don't
care if you're going to AAmeetings, I don't care if you're
going to a rehab, using atherapist, medication, whatever
it is, the first thing that youneed to do is build your
foundation and understandingwhen it comes to alcohol.
(01:27):
Most people see alcohol assomething that adds value in
their life.
They see it as this beneficialthing that if they drink it,
something good is going tohappen.
And this is an illusion.
See, alcohol companies havespent their entire existence
trying to persuade you to drinkthis drug.
The same drug that killsmillions of people, the same
drug that causes so much damageis the thing that we're supposed
(01:48):
to believe is sophisticated, isa way to relax, a way to
socialize with our friends.
Listen, it's all a giant lie.
When you put a poison in yourbody, you gain nothing.
In fact, you do gain something.
Your liver converts the alcoholinto acetaldehyde, which is 30
times more toxic than ethanolitself.
(02:09):
So there we go.
I got it wrong.
You do gain something.
Acetaldehyde.
Good luck with that roamingthrough your body.
I don't mean to soundcondescending, but there truly
is nothing to gain from drinkingalcohol.
See, once you see it as thissedative poison that just drains
you, the desire to drink goesaway.
How do you do this?
You use first principlesthinking.
(02:29):
You ignore society, you ignorewhat everybody says about not
just alcohol, but alsoaddiction, and we'll come to
that in a minute.
But you ignore everybody and youbuild a new world view.
You do your own logical analysisof alcohol and come to your own
conclusion, but ignore everybodyelse.
If you don't ignore everybodyelse, then people will start
influencing you.
But if you can isolate yourselfand isolate your mind and ignore
(02:52):
society, ignore common sensethat drinking's a good thing,
and do your own analysis, Ipromise you, you'll come to the
same conclusion I've come to.
You'll come to the sameconclusion.
And not just millions ofeveryday people like us.
I'm talking high-level people,celebrities, you know, CEOs,
billionaires.
They're all waking up to thisfact.
50 years ago, it wasn't likethis.
We didn't realize the damagethat it does.
(03:13):
But now we've got science.
Now we know.
So that's the first thing.
Build your foundation, applyfirst principles thinking, do
your own logical analysis andsee alcohol for what it is.
Which leads me to the secondpoint.
And this is linked massively.
See, one big mistake that peoplemake is when they stop drinking
alcohol, what do they do?
Well, they don't stop.
They try and stop.
Which means that alcohol isstill an option.
(03:35):
If you got diagnosed with adisorder where you couldn't
drink milk, because every timeyou drank milk, you're sat on
the toilet all day, you've gotsome lactose intolerance.
Would you need to try and notdrink milk?
Would you see a dairy cow in afarm and go, Bah, I just love to
just milk that cow and drink it?
No! Can you imagine the insanityof somebody doing that?
But yet, people that drinkalcohol have so much more damage
(03:56):
than being sat on the toilet allday.
You know, alcohol causes seventypes of cancer.
It drains your energy, it makesyou look old, it does, I mean,
this is just the tip of theiceberg.
It does so much damage topeople, yet we try and not
drink.
We go past it in the supermarketin the alcohol aisle and we're
like, man, I just would love adrink.
But I'm trying to not drink, soI'll just walk past it.
That's nothing but willpower.
(04:17):
And it doesn't work because oneday that runs out.
It's better than nothing, right?
I'm not saying that it's a badthing, but if you want to make
this change effortless and easy,willpower is not the answer.
The answer, instead of trying tostop drinking, is to decide.
You need to decide to not drink.
A decision removes thepossibility of drinking at all.
(04:37):
Now, it doesn't matter what youtell your friends and your
family or your wife or yourhusband, the decision is purely
internal.
But if you can see alcohol forwhat it is and then just make
one decision and put it behindyou and move on, it's not only
what I've done, this is whattens of thousands of people have
done that watch this channel.
Millions of people have done itoutside of this channel.
But once you decide to not drinkalcohol, I'm telling you, it'll
(04:58):
be the easiest thing you've everdone in your life.
When a friend invites you for adrink, you go.
They drink the alcohol.
But for you, it's almost likeyou don't even see the alcohol.
You just see a drink.
And it's like, whatever, do whatyou want.
Telling you, if you can make onedecision, it will make life so
much easier.
Now, the third thing, let's sayyou've made that decision.
Or let's say you're not quiteready to make the decision and
(05:18):
you're gonna try.
I can't control your actions.
I'm just making recommendationsbased on my experience.
But let's say you've stopped.
One recommendation I've got,which may sound
counterintuitive, is not to makea big deal about it.
You know, a lot of people,they're gonna tell their wife,
they're gonna tell maybe theirchildren, they're gonna tell
their friends, hey, I'm notdrinking.
And there's nothing wrong withthat on the surface, and there's
plenty of people that don'tdrink ever and do that.
(05:40):
So this isn't black and white.
I'm just trying to makerecommendations that I think
will help you.
Because here's the problem.
In my journey, I tried to stopdrinking so many times.
I have lost count.
And most of those attempts wouldcome with telling people.
I'd tell friends, I'd tellfamily, I'd tell work
colleagues.
And because I had this trackrecord of slipping up, they
started to get a little bitannoyed.
(06:01):
Now, I'm a younger man, Istopped drinking alcohol in my
20s, and I wasn't married at thetime.
I am now.
But if I had a wife that I'dbeen telling I'm stopping
drinking, I'm stopping drinking,I'm stopping drinking, she would
have been exhausted withlistening to it.
But provided that you'veactually done the first and
second thing that arerecommended, number three will
be a lot easier.
The problem is if you don'tbuild that foundation in that
new worldview and you don't makea decision and you try, you want
(06:22):
to tell people because you needtheir support.
When I stopped drinking alcoholjust over seven years ago, I
remember telling one person Idid make a big deal out of it.
And that person looked me in theeyes and was like, here we go
again.
He probably thought he'd see meat the pub that very same night.
He didn't, and it's been sevenyears since that.
But after I had that incident, Irealized, what is the point of
telling anybody?
I've made the decision, I canmove on with my life, I don't
(06:43):
need to talk about it, andthat's it.
And for one full year, Ibasically kept it to myself.
And I think that was wise.
Because people don't want tohear about your changes, they
want to see action.
So that's the third thing.
Now, the fourth thing, this oneis pretty gnarly.
This is out-of-body experiencelevel.
So, again, let's say you're notdrinking alcohol.
(07:04):
What you need to do is you needto now become a third-party
observer.
So, what I mean by this iswhenever you see alcohol around
you, what you need to do is youneed to just kind of zoom out,
almost take yourself into athird-person view and just look
at exactly what is going on.
See, one problem is if you'venot reframed the way that you
view alcohol, what happens isyou see alcohol, you see an
(07:24):
advertisement, you see a frienddrinking alcohol, and
immediately you go to this ideaof, ooh, doesn't that look nice?
And then what happens next isthat idea that, ooh, that drink
looks nice turns into a feelingof missing out.
And when you get that feeling ofmissing out on something, it is
pretty much game over.
That turns into a craving, whichthen turns into a drink.
But you can skip the cravingpart altogether.
(07:45):
See, what you can do instead islet's say you see an
advertisement, somebody pouringthe whiskey, the wine, looking
all glamorous and sophisticated,zoom out for a second.
See the marketing message, andjust recognize that remove that
and what have you got?
Remove all of the glamour andthe nonsense, and you're left
with a poison that killsmillions of people every year.
See, when you can zoom out andsee that, the marketing message
(08:07):
doesn't have the same effect onyou.
But if you're just going throughlife and you're unaware of this,
then every time that you seealcohol, you see, I don't know,
a character in a movie drink,you see a friend drink, all that
it's doing is adding fuel to thefire.
And it's why willpower neverworks, because we live in a
world that just bombards us witha message that alcohol is good
24-7.
But if you can see theadvertisements and the messages
(08:29):
and even the people around youthat drink trying to encourage
you to drink or justify theirdrinking, if you can just see
that as nothing more than drugaddiction and promoting a drug,
literally advertisements for adrug, it starts losing its power
over you.
It's liberating.
And not only is it liberatingfor you, but you can start
talking to your children aboutthis.
So instead of your childrenbeing brainwashed and having the
(08:52):
same thing that happened to you,you can teach them, you can
educate them, you can show them,yeah, son, daughter, this is
nonsense.
Just change the drug.
Imagine it was the exact samething, but everybody was
sniffing a line of cocaine orinjecting heroin.
We wouldn't think that was coolor glamorous.
In fact, we think it's insane.
Well, I hate to break it to you,but alcohol marketing, alcohol
advertising is the same damnthing.
(09:13):
It's insanity.
It is an addictive drug thatwill kill you.
And when you see that, you juststart thinking, what is going
on?
Anyway, the fifth thing, andthis one is slightly
controversial, maybe not now inthis day and age, because people
are waking up to it.
But if you've successfullydeconditioned your mindset,
you're objectively viewingmarketing messages, you've made
(09:33):
a true decision, and you're justgetting on with it, well, the
fifth thing becomes redundant.
But it's to not label yourselfas the problem.
And that's the nice way of mesaying don't call yourself a
damn alcoholic.
See, the idea that you're theproblem, it really is ludicrous.
When you were born, billions ofdollars every single year were
spent on alcohol marketing.
And it's not in your faceadvertisements of buy one, get
(09:55):
one free or some something likethat.
It's been subtle.
Alcohol companies haveinfiltrated sport, they've
infiltrated movies, they'veinfiltrated pretty much
everything.
They have sneaky ways of gettinginto your mind.
When you were literally fiveyears of age, and whilst that is
all happening, you're seeingpeople around you drink.
You're seeing your parentsdrink, you're seeing your
friends drink, you're seeingpeople you admire drink, and
you're seeing fictionalcharacters drink, like James
(10:17):
Bond.
And we're starting to think, ohwow, James Bond drinks a
fictional damn character thatgot paid$40 million to drink
Heineken instead of a martini.
I mean, come on, and we'rethinking, whoa, James Bond
drinks Heineken and my daddrinks Heineken.
Or when I see it on uh the rugbygames, wow, there must be
something there.
And then you drink this drug, itdehydrates the living shit out
of you, it lowers yourinhibitions, and then you drink
(10:40):
more.
How has that got anything to dowith you?
It doesn't have anything to dowith you.
You're literally living in abooby-trapped world when it
comes to alcohol.
And if you overdrink and youdrink too much, you're supposed
to believe that you're theproblem.
You ain't the problem, myfriend.
You have just bought into a lieabout a drug.
There's no nicotinoholics,there's no gamblerholics,
there's no video gameaholics,there's no pornaholics.
(11:01):
But we need to give alcohol itsown category because everybody
wants to keep drinking.
We need to separate the problemfrom the person.
We can't link the two togetherbecause if you believe that
you're the problem, you cannever be fixed.
But if you can just change yourthought process and see the
problem for what it is and justput it behind you, it's easy.
Anyway, number six.
Now, this is a mindset shiftthat just played such a huge
(11:23):
role in my life.
The 10 years that I struggled tostop drinking alcohol, I had
this feeling that I had givensomething up.
Every time I stopped drinkingalcohol, I had this feeling that
I was giving something up, thatI'd made a true sacrifice.
And that was because I believedthat alcohol added something to
my life.
If I believe that, of course I'mgonna think it was a sacrifice.
I know that fitness addssomething to my life.
(11:44):
And if somebody took the gymaway from me, exercise away from
me, that would be pretty bad.
But it was the same for alcohol.
If somebody removed it from me,if for some reason I couldn't
drink, I'd be annoyed.
Until I had that shift sevenyears ago, I realized there was
nothing to give up.
All I was doing was making anexchange.
I was exchanging terrible sleep,no clarity, being overweight.
I was exchanging this poisonthat was ruining my life for
(12:07):
something better.
And that thing was freedom.
Freedom from addiction, freedomfrom a form of slavery, freedom
from poisoning myself, freedomfrom putting myself into an
early grave.
When I stopped drinking alcohol,it was liberation.
There was nothing to give up.
When somebody gets released fromjail, they don't feel like
they've given something up.
They know that they now havefreedom.
And that's how you need to seealcohol.
(12:28):
You need to see it as gettingout of a prison.
Because what's the difference?
So remind yourself that you'venot stopped drinking, you've not
given anything up, you've freedyourself.
And that feels good.
That's empowering.
Now, number seven, again, a hugething.
But one of the best things thatyou can do once you've truly
freed yourself is rather thanjust run away from the pain of
alcohol, because alcohol doescause pain, and that could be
(12:50):
enough to get you sober and itcan keep you sober.
But once the pain is gone, onceyou're waking up fresh and the
clarity's back and the sleep isback and all your relationships
are going better, once that isgone, that's when people
relapse.
They think, oh wow, things aregoing great now.
I can have just a few drinksnow.
Trust me.
I've done that so many times andit always goes back to the same
place.
So instead of running away fromalcohol, we need to go towards
(13:11):
something.
We need something that's pullingus forward.
So what I recommend is findingone North Star goal.
Now, the way you can find yourNorth Star goal is get a pen and
paper and write down 10 goals.
So just any 10 goals, the first10 things that come to your
head, don't overthink, don'tthink, can I achieve it?
Is it realistic?
Just blast out 10 things thatyou want to achieve in your
life.
And what should happen is you'lllook at that list of goals, and
(13:34):
there'll be one goal on therethat stands out that if you
achieve that goal, all the othergoals become so much easier and
more realistic to achieve.
For a lot of people, that meansit's a business goal or a career
or financial goal.
For others, it's a health goal.
For a lot of people that stopdrinking, it's often related to
health.
But you want to find one NorthStar goal and you really want to
center your life aroundachieving that thing.
(13:55):
You want to put additional timeinto it.
And having that direction andthat thing to aim for can often
replace that void that happensone, two, three, six months into
sobriety, sometimes a few yearsinto not drinking.
Because one day the pain will goaway, and you need to get to a
place where in six months' time,you look back at your life and
you think, well, how could Ieven think about adding alcohol
back into it?
(14:15):
I've made so much progresstowards that North Star goal
that I'd just be throwing it allaway.
And being able to have thatconversation with yourself is so
good.
Now, number eight, this one'simportant, is you can't just
write down that North Star goalof, say, I don't know, dropping
20 pounds, making X amount ofmoney, getting this promotion.
You can't just put that goaldown on a piece of paper or on
(14:36):
your fridge door and that's it.
You need to start takingabsolute massive action.
When you stop drinking alcohol,eventually, it might take a few
weeks, but you will have moreenergy, you will have more
clarity, you will feel better,your confidence will come back,
your self-esteem will getbetter, so many good things will
happen, and you need to usethese benefits.
And really, you need to use themfor the benefit of other people.
(14:57):
Drinking alcohol is selfish.
But when you stop drinkingalcohol, it's not just about
you.
See, if you reach that NorthStar goal, think of all the
people that it's going toimpact.
You know, if you lose X amountof weight and you stop drinking,
think about the influence you'llhave on the people that you're
around, work colleagues, familymembers.
They're gonna look at you andthey're gonna be proud of you
and you're gonna set an exampleto them.
(15:18):
But you need to take action.
I think often, don't daydreamjust start getting to work.
Just go, go, go.
Whatever you do, don't be thatperson that stops drinking
alcohol and changes nothing intheir life.
What's the point?
Honestly, you might as well keepdrinking.
Well, maybe not, but you get thepoint.
You might as well use thatenergy to make your life better,
to improve everybody around you.
And the great thing is, is thatyour identity starts shifting
(15:40):
when you do this.
Instead of just becoming thatguy that doesn't drink, you're
not that person.
You're successful, you're goingtowards something.
So get busy and start takingaction.
Now, the ninth thing issomething that's going to help
you maintain sobriety for a verylong time, if not forever.
You will socialize with people,and alcohol is a part of
everyday life.
Most people drink alcohol.
(16:01):
That's the adult population.
But one key thing to do here,and this is something I was just
discussing with a client of minewho's a CEO of a tourism
company, she was thinking ofgoing to an event.
And the event was some sort ofmartini hour.
And her friends were going.
And I told her, go if you wantto.
But I explained that I only dothings that I enjoy, and more
often than not, I don't evennotice whether alcohol is there
(16:22):
or not.
For example, if I go and playpool, everybody's drinking.
I don't even see it.
It's the same if I went to goand watch live music.
If I'm there because I love theartists and I really want to
listen to them live andeverybody's drinking, I'm not
gonna notice.
But let's say that I go to aplace where I'm uncomfortable.
Let's say I go to a wine tastingevent, I'm gonna have a pretty
boring time.
So I just made a decision toavoid all of these things.
(16:43):
And this is advice that I readin multiple stop drinking books.
I applied it in my life, and itwas incredibly effective because
it meant that I could live mylife.
I didn't need to avoid alcohol,but also I stayed true to
myself.
And that's what I recommended myclient to do, and it's what
she's going to do.
She's gonna ignore that martinievent, and instead she's gonna
go to a comedy event.
People will drink, but she likescomedy.
And I'm like, perfect.
(17:04):
That's exactly what you need todo.
And I said that that's a greatidea.
But the great thing that happensis that if you do things you
genuinely enjoy, you start tobreak the link that alcohol adds
anything to those things.
For example, playing pool.
When I was younger, I would playpool and drink.
There was a connection there.
But then I had so much fun.
In fact, I had more fun doing itwithout alcohol that I realized
that alcohol was never the thingthat I enjoyed.
(17:26):
It never had been the thing thatI enjoyed.
I was addicted to a drug, I hada faulty worldview, and
everything was just so muchbetter without it.
Now, let's get into the 10ththing.
And this is a mindset shift thatyou need to keep.
You need to see that notdrinking alcohol is not the end
goal.
Too many people build theirwhole life around not drinking.
(17:46):
And it's almost like theybelieve the longer they go
without alcohol, the more of anon-drinker they are, and the
better that they're doing.
Oh, I've not drank for a year,I've not drank for two years.
Listen, I don't even know howlong I've not drank for.
I think I stopped drinking inAugust or July of about seven
years ago.
I've got it on a phone.
I still can't remember the datebecause I don't care.
It makes no difference.
I made a decision to stopdrinking alcohol and that was
(18:06):
it.
I only tell you how long I'venot drank for because it helps.
Because I want you to know thatI've been in your shoes and I
found a way through it.
I don't tell people that I meetthat I don't drink, because it's
not a big deal.
I saw stopping drinking alcoholnot as the end goal, but the
starting line.
I saw it as the foundation tothen getting busy with what I
wanted in life.
That might sound like I'mdiscouraging people or talking
(18:28):
down to people that are proud ofhow long they've not drank for.
You can be proud of it.
There's nothing wrong with that.
But you still need to seestopping drinking as the
starting line, not the end goal.
Thanks for checking out the StopDrinking podcast by SoberClear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly,then make sure to visit
www.soberclear.com.
Welcome to the Stop Drinking Podcast, where we help
you make stopping drinking asimple, logical, and easy
decision.
We help you with tips, tools,and strategies to start living
your best life when alcoholfree.
If you want to learn more aboutstop drinking coaching, then
head over to www.soberclear.com.
(00:22):
Most people think that quittingalcohol is so much harder than
it needs to be.
And I used to believe that.
During the 10 years that I triedto stop drinking alcohol, it was
so difficult.
But literally overnight, it wentfrom this fight to the easiest
thing I've ever done in my life.
So today in this video, I'mgoing to show you 10 things that
make quitting alcohol feeleffortless.
(00:43):
You won't even feel like you'vegiven anything up.
A quick introduction, my name isLeon Sylvester.
I'm the founder ofsoberclear.com.
These 10 things haven't justimpacted my own life, but these
are the things I've shown tensof thousands of people over the
years and they've had the exactsame result as me.
Stopping drinking became achoice instead of a fight.
So these 10 things are tried,tested, and proven to work.
(01:05):
I'd really recommend you watchthe entire video and don't miss
any of the points.
Because honestly, the last oneis a game changer.
So the very first thing that youabsolutely need to do, I don't
care if you're going to AAmeetings, I don't care if you're
going to a rehab, using atherapist, medication, whatever
it is, the first thing that youneed to do is build your
foundation and understandingwhen it comes to alcohol.
(01:27):
Most people see alcohol assomething that adds value in
their life.
They see it as this beneficialthing that if they drink it,
something good is going tohappen.
And this is an illusion.
See, alcohol companies havespent their entire existence
trying to persuade you to drinkthis drug.
The same drug that killsmillions of people, the same
drug that causes so much damageis the thing that we're supposed
(01:48):
to believe is sophisticated, isa way to relax, a way to
socialize with our friends.
Listen, it's all a giant lie.
When you put a poison in yourbody, you gain nothing.
In fact, you do gain something.
Your liver converts the alcoholinto acetaldehyde, which is 30
times more toxic than ethanolitself.
(02:09):
So there we go.
I got it wrong.
You do gain something.
Acetaldehyde.
Good luck with that roamingthrough your body.
I don't mean to soundcondescending, but there truly
is nothing to gain from drinkingalcohol.
See, once you see it as thissedative poison that just drains
you, the desire to drink goesaway.
How do you do this?
You use first principlesthinking.
(02:29):
You ignore society, you ignorewhat everybody says about not
just alcohol, but alsoaddiction, and we'll come to
that in a minute.
But you ignore everybody and youbuild a new world view.
You do your own logical analysisof alcohol and come to your own
conclusion, but ignore everybodyelse.
If you don't ignore everybodyelse, then people will start
influencing you.
But if you can isolate yourselfand isolate your mind and ignore
(02:52):
society, ignore common sensethat drinking's a good thing,
and do your own analysis, Ipromise you, you'll come to the
same conclusion I've come to.
You'll come to the sameconclusion.
And not just millions ofeveryday people like us.
I'm talking high-level people,celebrities, you know, CEOs,
billionaires.
They're all waking up to thisfact.
50 years ago, it wasn't likethis.
We didn't realize the damagethat it does.
(03:13):
But now we've got science.
Now we know.
So that's the first thing.
Build your foundation, applyfirst principles thinking, do
your own logical analysis andsee alcohol for what it is.
Which leads me to the secondpoint.
And this is linked massively.
See, one big mistake that peoplemake is when they stop drinking
alcohol, what do they do?
Well, they don't stop.
They try and stop.
Which means that alcohol isstill an option.
(03:35):
If you got diagnosed with adisorder where you couldn't
drink milk, because every timeyou drank milk, you're sat on
the toilet all day, you've gotsome lactose intolerance.
Would you need to try and notdrink milk?
Would you see a dairy cow in afarm and go, Bah, I just love to
just milk that cow and drink it?
No! Can you imagine the insanityof somebody doing that?
But yet, people that drinkalcohol have so much more damage
(03:56):
than being sat on the toilet allday.
You know, alcohol causes seventypes of cancer.
It drains your energy, it makesyou look old, it does, I mean,
this is just the tip of theiceberg.
It does so much damage topeople, yet we try and not
drink.
We go past it in the supermarketin the alcohol aisle and we're
like, man, I just would love adrink.
But I'm trying to not drink, soI'll just walk past it.
That's nothing but willpower.
(04:17):
And it doesn't work because oneday that runs out.
It's better than nothing, right?
I'm not saying that it's a badthing, but if you want to make
this change effortless and easy,willpower is not the answer.
The answer, instead of trying tostop drinking, is to decide.
You need to decide to not drink.
A decision removes thepossibility of drinking at all.
(04:37):
Now, it doesn't matter what youtell your friends and your
family or your wife or yourhusband, the decision is purely
internal.
But if you can see alcohol forwhat it is and then just make
one decision and put it behindyou and move on, it's not only
what I've done, this is whattens of thousands of people have
done that watch this channel.
Millions of people have done itoutside of this channel.
But once you decide to not drinkalcohol, I'm telling you, it'll
(04:58):
be the easiest thing you've everdone in your life.
When a friend invites you for adrink, you go.
They drink the alcohol.
But for you, it's almost likeyou don't even see the alcohol.
You just see a drink.
And it's like, whatever, do whatyou want.
Telling you, if you can make onedecision, it will make life so
much easier.
Now, the third thing, let's sayyou've made that decision.
Or let's say you're not quiteready to make the decision and
(05:18):
you're gonna try.
I can't control your actions.
I'm just making recommendationsbased on my experience.
But let's say you've stopped.
One recommendation I've got,which may sound
counterintuitive, is not to makea big deal about it.
You know, a lot of people,they're gonna tell their wife,
they're gonna tell maybe theirchildren, they're gonna tell
their friends, hey, I'm notdrinking.
And there's nothing wrong withthat on the surface, and there's
plenty of people that don'tdrink ever and do that.
(05:40):
So this isn't black and white.
I'm just trying to makerecommendations that I think
will help you.
Because here's the problem.
In my journey, I tried to stopdrinking so many times.
I have lost count.
And most of those attempts wouldcome with telling people.
I'd tell friends, I'd tellfamily, I'd tell work
colleagues.
And because I had this trackrecord of slipping up, they
started to get a little bitannoyed.
(06:01):
Now, I'm a younger man, Istopped drinking alcohol in my
20s, and I wasn't married at thetime.
I am now.
But if I had a wife that I'dbeen telling I'm stopping
drinking, I'm stopping drinking,I'm stopping drinking, she would
have been exhausted withlistening to it.
But provided that you'veactually done the first and
second thing that arerecommended, number three will
be a lot easier.
The problem is if you don'tbuild that foundation in that
new worldview and you don't makea decision and you try, you want
(06:22):
to tell people because you needtheir support.
When I stopped drinking alcoholjust over seven years ago, I
remember telling one person Idid make a big deal out of it.
And that person looked me in theeyes and was like, here we go
again.
He probably thought he'd see meat the pub that very same night.
He didn't, and it's been sevenyears since that.
But after I had that incident, Irealized, what is the point of
telling anybody?
I've made the decision, I canmove on with my life, I don't
(06:43):
need to talk about it, andthat's it.
And for one full year, Ibasically kept it to myself.
And I think that was wise.
Because people don't want tohear about your changes, they
want to see action.
So that's the third thing.
Now, the fourth thing, this oneis pretty gnarly.
This is out-of-body experiencelevel.
So, again, let's say you're notdrinking alcohol.
(07:04):
What you need to do is you needto now become a third-party
observer.
So, what I mean by this iswhenever you see alcohol around
you, what you need to do is youneed to just kind of zoom out,
almost take yourself into athird-person view and just look
at exactly what is going on.
See, one problem is if you'venot reframed the way that you
view alcohol, what happens isyou see alcohol, you see an
(07:24):
advertisement, you see a frienddrinking alcohol, and
immediately you go to this ideaof, ooh, doesn't that look nice?
And then what happens next isthat idea that, ooh, that drink
looks nice turns into a feelingof missing out.
And when you get that feeling ofmissing out on something, it is
pretty much game over.
That turns into a craving, whichthen turns into a drink.
But you can skip the cravingpart altogether.
(07:45):
See, what you can do instead islet's say you see an
advertisement, somebody pouringthe whiskey, the wine, looking
all glamorous and sophisticated,zoom out for a second.
See the marketing message, andjust recognize that remove that
and what have you got?
Remove all of the glamour andthe nonsense, and you're left
with a poison that killsmillions of people every year.
See, when you can zoom out andsee that, the marketing message
(08:07):
doesn't have the same effect onyou.
But if you're just going throughlife and you're unaware of this,
then every time that you seealcohol, you see, I don't know,
a character in a movie drink,you see a friend drink, all that
it's doing is adding fuel to thefire.
And it's why willpower neverworks, because we live in a
world that just bombards us witha message that alcohol is good
24-7.
But if you can see theadvertisements and the messages
(08:29):
and even the people around youthat drink trying to encourage
you to drink or justify theirdrinking, if you can just see
that as nothing more than drugaddiction and promoting a drug,
literally advertisements for adrug, it starts losing its power
over you.
It's liberating.
And not only is it liberatingfor you, but you can start
talking to your children aboutthis.
So instead of your childrenbeing brainwashed and having the
(08:52):
same thing that happened to you,you can teach them, you can
educate them, you can show them,yeah, son, daughter, this is
nonsense.
Just change the drug.
Imagine it was the exact samething, but everybody was
sniffing a line of cocaine orinjecting heroin.
We wouldn't think that was coolor glamorous.
In fact, we think it's insane.
Well, I hate to break it to you,but alcohol marketing, alcohol
advertising is the same damnthing.
(09:13):
It's insanity.
It is an addictive drug thatwill kill you.
And when you see that, you juststart thinking, what is going
on?
Anyway, the fifth thing, andthis one is slightly
controversial, maybe not now inthis day and age, because people
are waking up to it.
But if you've successfullydeconditioned your mindset,
you're objectively viewingmarketing messages, you've made
(09:33):
a true decision, and you're justgetting on with it, well, the
fifth thing becomes redundant.
But it's to not label yourselfas the problem.
And that's the nice way of mesaying don't call yourself a
damn alcoholic.
See, the idea that you're theproblem, it really is ludicrous.
When you were born, billions ofdollars every single year were
spent on alcohol marketing.
And it's not in your faceadvertisements of buy one, get
(09:55):
one free or some something likethat.
It's been subtle.
Alcohol companies haveinfiltrated sport, they've
infiltrated movies, they'veinfiltrated pretty much
everything.
They have sneaky ways of gettinginto your mind.
When you were literally fiveyears of age, and whilst that is
all happening, you're seeingpeople around you drink.
You're seeing your parentsdrink, you're seeing your
friends drink, you're seeingpeople you admire drink, and
you're seeing fictionalcharacters drink, like James
(10:17):
Bond.
And we're starting to think, ohwow, James Bond drinks a
fictional damn character thatgot paid$40 million to drink
Heineken instead of a martini.
I mean, come on, and we'rethinking, whoa, James Bond
drinks Heineken and my daddrinks Heineken.
Or when I see it on uh the rugbygames, wow, there must be
something there.
And then you drink this drug, itdehydrates the living shit out
of you, it lowers yourinhibitions, and then you drink
(10:40):
more.
How has that got anything to dowith you?
It doesn't have anything to dowith you.
You're literally living in abooby-trapped world when it
comes to alcohol.
And if you overdrink and youdrink too much, you're supposed
to believe that you're theproblem.
You ain't the problem, myfriend.
You have just bought into a lieabout a drug.
There's no nicotinoholics,there's no gamblerholics,
there's no video gameaholics,there's no pornaholics.
(11:01):
But we need to give alcohol itsown category because everybody
wants to keep drinking.
We need to separate the problemfrom the person.
We can't link the two togetherbecause if you believe that
you're the problem, you cannever be fixed.
But if you can just change yourthought process and see the
problem for what it is and justput it behind you, it's easy.
Anyway, number six.
Now, this is a mindset shiftthat just played such a huge
(11:23):
role in my life.
The 10 years that I struggled tostop drinking alcohol, I had
this feeling that I had givensomething up.
Every time I stopped drinkingalcohol, I had this feeling that
I was giving something up, thatI'd made a true sacrifice.
And that was because I believedthat alcohol added something to
my life.
If I believe that, of course I'mgonna think it was a sacrifice.
I know that fitness addssomething to my life.
(11:44):
And if somebody took the gymaway from me, exercise away from
me, that would be pretty bad.
But it was the same for alcohol.
If somebody removed it from me,if for some reason I couldn't
drink, I'd be annoyed.
Until I had that shift sevenyears ago, I realized there was
nothing to give up.
All I was doing was making anexchange.
I was exchanging terrible sleep,no clarity, being overweight.
I was exchanging this poisonthat was ruining my life for
(12:07):
something better.
And that thing was freedom.
Freedom from addiction, freedomfrom a form of slavery, freedom
from poisoning myself, freedomfrom putting myself into an
early grave.
When I stopped drinking alcohol,it was liberation.
There was nothing to give up.
When somebody gets released fromjail, they don't feel like
they've given something up.
They know that they now havefreedom.
And that's how you need to seealcohol.
(12:28):
You need to see it as gettingout of a prison.
Because what's the difference?
So remind yourself that you'venot stopped drinking, you've not
given anything up, you've freedyourself.
And that feels good.
That's empowering.
Now, number seven, again, a hugething.
But one of the best things thatyou can do once you've truly
freed yourself is rather thanjust run away from the pain of
alcohol, because alcohol doescause pain, and that could be
(12:50):
enough to get you sober and itcan keep you sober.
But once the pain is gone, onceyou're waking up fresh and the
clarity's back and the sleep isback and all your relationships
are going better, once that isgone, that's when people
relapse.
They think, oh wow, things aregoing great now.
I can have just a few drinksnow.
Trust me.
I've done that so many times andit always goes back to the same
place.
So instead of running away fromalcohol, we need to go towards
(13:11):
something.
We need something that's pullingus forward.
So what I recommend is findingone North Star goal.
Now, the way you can find yourNorth Star goal is get a pen and
paper and write down 10 goals.
So just any 10 goals, the first10 things that come to your
head, don't overthink, don'tthink, can I achieve it?
Is it realistic?
Just blast out 10 things thatyou want to achieve in your
life.
And what should happen is you'lllook at that list of goals, and
(13:34):
there'll be one goal on therethat stands out that if you
achieve that goal, all the othergoals become so much easier and
more realistic to achieve.
For a lot of people, that meansit's a business goal or a career
or financial goal.
For others, it's a health goal.
For a lot of people that stopdrinking, it's often related to
health.
But you want to find one NorthStar goal and you really want to
center your life aroundachieving that thing.
(13:55):
You want to put additional timeinto it.
And having that direction andthat thing to aim for can often
replace that void that happensone, two, three, six months into
sobriety, sometimes a few yearsinto not drinking.
Because one day the pain will goaway, and you need to get to a
place where in six months' time,you look back at your life and
you think, well, how could Ieven think about adding alcohol
back into it?
(14:15):
I've made so much progresstowards that North Star goal
that I'd just be throwing it allaway.
And being able to have thatconversation with yourself is so
good.
Now, number eight, this one'simportant, is you can't just
write down that North Star goalof, say, I don't know, dropping
20 pounds, making X amount ofmoney, getting this promotion.
You can't just put that goaldown on a piece of paper or on
(14:36):
your fridge door and that's it.
You need to start takingabsolute massive action.
When you stop drinking alcohol,eventually, it might take a few
weeks, but you will have moreenergy, you will have more
clarity, you will feel better,your confidence will come back,
your self-esteem will getbetter, so many good things will
happen, and you need to usethese benefits.
And really, you need to use themfor the benefit of other people.
(14:57):
Drinking alcohol is selfish.
But when you stop drinkingalcohol, it's not just about
you.
See, if you reach that NorthStar goal, think of all the
people that it's going toimpact.
You know, if you lose X amountof weight and you stop drinking,
think about the influence you'llhave on the people that you're
around, work colleagues, familymembers.
They're gonna look at you andthey're gonna be proud of you
and you're gonna set an exampleto them.
(15:18):
But you need to take action.
I think often, don't daydreamjust start getting to work.
Just go, go, go.
Whatever you do, don't be thatperson that stops drinking
alcohol and changes nothing intheir life.
What's the point?
Honestly, you might as well keepdrinking.
Well, maybe not, but you get thepoint.
You might as well use thatenergy to make your life better,
to improve everybody around you.
And the great thing is, is thatyour identity starts shifting
(15:40):
when you do this.
Instead of just becoming thatguy that doesn't drink, you're
not that person.
You're successful, you're goingtowards something.
So get busy and start takingaction.
Now, the ninth thing issomething that's going to help
you maintain sobriety for a verylong time, if not forever.
You will socialize with people,and alcohol is a part of
everyday life.
Most people drink alcohol.
(16:01):
That's the adult population.
But one key thing to do here,and this is something I was just
discussing with a client of minewho's a CEO of a tourism
company, she was thinking ofgoing to an event.
And the event was some sort ofmartini hour.
And her friends were going.
And I told her, go if you wantto.
But I explained that I only dothings that I enjoy, and more
often than not, I don't evennotice whether alcohol is there
(16:22):
or not.
For example, if I go and playpool, everybody's drinking.
I don't even see it.
It's the same if I went to goand watch live music.
If I'm there because I love theartists and I really want to
listen to them live andeverybody's drinking, I'm not
gonna notice.
But let's say that I go to aplace where I'm uncomfortable.
Let's say I go to a wine tastingevent, I'm gonna have a pretty
boring time.
So I just made a decision toavoid all of these things.
(16:43):
And this is advice that I readin multiple stop drinking books.
I applied it in my life, and itwas incredibly effective because
it meant that I could live mylife.
I didn't need to avoid alcohol,but also I stayed true to
myself.
And that's what I recommended myclient to do, and it's what
she's going to do.
She's gonna ignore that martinievent, and instead she's gonna
go to a comedy event.
People will drink, but she likescomedy.
And I'm like, perfect.
(17:04):
That's exactly what you need todo.
And I said that that's a greatidea.
But the great thing that happensis that if you do things you
genuinely enjoy, you start tobreak the link that alcohol adds
anything to those things.
For example, playing pool.
When I was younger, I would playpool and drink.
There was a connection there.
But then I had so much fun.
In fact, I had more fun doing itwithout alcohol that I realized
that alcohol was never the thingthat I enjoyed.
(17:26):
It never had been the thing thatI enjoyed.
I was addicted to a drug, I hada faulty worldview, and
everything was just so muchbetter without it.
Now, let's get into the 10ththing.
And this is a mindset shift thatyou need to keep.
You need to see that notdrinking alcohol is not the end
goal.
Too many people build theirwhole life around not drinking.
(17:46):
And it's almost like theybelieve the longer they go
without alcohol, the more of anon-drinker they are, and the
better that they're doing.
Oh, I've not drank for a year,I've not drank for two years.
Listen, I don't even know howlong I've not drank for.
I think I stopped drinking inAugust or July of about seven
years ago.
I've got it on a phone.
I still can't remember the datebecause I don't care.
It makes no difference.
I made a decision to stopdrinking alcohol and that was
(18:06):
it.
I only tell you how long I'venot drank for because it helps.
Because I want you to know thatI've been in your shoes and I
found a way through it.
I don't tell people that I meetthat I don't drink, because it's
not a big deal.
I saw stopping drinking alcoholnot as the end goal, but the
starting line.
I saw it as the foundation tothen getting busy with what I
wanted in life.
That might sound like I'mdiscouraging people or talking
(18:28):
down to people that are proud ofhow long they've not drank for.
You can be proud of it.
There's nothing wrong with that.
But you still need to seestopping drinking as the
starting line, not the end goal.
Thanks for checking out the StopDrinking podcast by SoberClear.
If you want to learn more abouthow we work with people to help
them stop drinking effortlessly,then make sure to visit
www.soberclear.com.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com