Cute little packages

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Are you surprised you are worried late at night? 

Are you surprised your kid pissed you off again by not eating his food?

Are you totally surprised by whatever reaction you’re having to the same thing that happened last week?

 If that’s the case listen to this episode because you will definitely have one of these packages and I believe it is our job to get to know our little packages so that we’re no longer surprised

Jackie from Intermittent Fasting Foodie has inspired me to try OMAD or eating one meal a day and i am loving it so far!

Gin Stephens is the other awesome lady who inspired both of us, check out her book Delay, Don't Deny and her other book Jackie from Intermittent Fasting Foodie inspired me to try OMAD (one meal a day), and I’m loving it!

Gin Stephens also inspired us, check out her book Delay, Don't Deny and Fast Feast Repeat

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hey guys, how are you?
I just got my nails done.
They're kind of French with somesparkle and also I have red
toes, so I'm really excited,feel really nice.
And I want to talk to you aboutyour little thought packages
today.
I really love this because it'ssuper helpful.
And I even shared it with mynine-year-old and he said it was

(00:22):
really helpful.
So I'll just tell you the storyof what happened with my
nine-year-old and then kind ofgo from there.
So he was...
not feeling great before bed onenight and he was scared of some
things and worried and dreadinglike having a bad dream and I

(00:47):
told him that this happens to meas well when I'm tired each time
before bed that I have you knowthese thoughts I would have I'll
be scared I'll be I would be,you know, afraid of losing
somebody, you know, I would justhave like these negative
thoughts.
And I said, you know, this isjust what happens when I'm

(01:10):
tired.
So, so every time that happens,I just kind of, um, recognize it
for what it is oh these are justmy tired thoughts and then I
think okay because I'm becauseI'm having them that I just need
to take myself to bed and I'msure you've heard me talk about
this before on the podcast but Iactually expanded it even

(01:31):
further and I believe that allof us have all these packages
for each topic and there I callthem thought packages and Like
we would have a package for eachkid and we would have a package
for like tired thoughts and Andwe would have a package about

(01:52):
our job, a thought package.
We would have a thought packageabout aging.
We would have a thought packageabout our husband.
We would have a thought packageabout, you know, grocery
shopping.
And what I mean by a thoughtpackage is that we actually have
a limited amount of thoughtsthat we think each time about a

(02:12):
topic.
So it could be anywhere betweenthree to five.
seven really predominantthoughts.
And then we have like a relatedfamily thoughts.
So we would be like thoughtsthat are related to these seven.
It would be similar feeling tothem, similar kind of family of

(02:35):
thoughts.
But the predominant ones arethree, five, seven thoughts.
There really are not a lot ofthoughts, actually.
If you actually take a look atthem, you actually find out that
they're actually...
very few of them and they're thesame each time about the same
topic as we get older and that'swhat really actually helps me

(02:58):
realize that this is just apattern of mine to have these
each time this topic comes upand then it's up to me to really
decide what to do with them Forexample, with the tiredness, you
know, I just kind of go, okay,it's just starting to have to
take myself to bed.
Then I have thoughts about mypodcast.

(03:21):
And it took me a while to seethat, the thoughts, right?
So I would have thoughts beforerecording.
I now would have thoughtsafterward.
And some of them would be, youknow, worried or doubt, you
know, or doubt that it was anygood, worry that nobody likes
it.
But...
As the time goes on and I seethem for what it is and I learn

(03:44):
to answer them, it helps me notto react to them next time.
And I also make a conclusion.
Oh, you know what?
This is just what it means tohave a podcast.
It means that I have all thesethoughts.
I have worries.
I have doubts about it.
Just like what I have about mykids, right?

(04:05):
I have my worries about them.
I have my doubts.
And...
That's just what it means tohave a child.
It doesn't mean it's alwaysgreat.
And that's just the package thatI have.
Okay.
So I can either react to it andget really caught up in the
worry, in the doubt and reallyspin out and really, you know,
get really frozen up.

(04:26):
You can really get frozen up inthe doubt and stop recording,
stop helping, stop doing what itis that you really love and
allow the thoughts and thefeelings to drive you.
your freeze state or you canjust see them for what they are
oh this is just what comes upfor me when I am pursuing my

(04:49):
dreams when I'm helping peoplewhen I'm putting myself out
there that is risky anddangerous feels dangerous but
that's okay this is just whathappens and this is happens to
me every single time so I don'tneed to worry about it same
thing with getting tired happensto me every day um But I want us
to think about that we have apackage like that about

(05:11):
everything.
And so if our goal is to get toknow our thought packages, then
we get to know them and then webecome less reactive to them.
We become more in charge.
And then we can really kind ofdecide how do we want to
actually react to this topic.

(05:32):
And I actually wrote downsomething.
This was a while ago, and I justread it, and it made me laugh.
One second.
So what I wrote down was idiotthoughts.
So, for example, why am I soupset about this imperfect

(05:53):
moment?
Or, like, am I an idiot?
Or...
Do I just want to be the best atthis and I have very high
standards?
For example, if I get reallyupset about not being a perfect
mom and I get super upset, thenI can beat myself up and think,

(06:13):
oh my God, I'm such an idiot.
Terrible mother.
Terrible.
I'm so bad.
So that's one thought package.
But as I became aware of it, itbecame clear.
funny because I related it tobeing a surgeon.
For example, if I'm a surgeonand I did an imperfect job at
the surgery, and I am reallyupset about that.

(06:38):
Well, would I still think I'm anidiot about being upset about
this imperfection?
No, I would just think, oh mygosh, I just want to be the best
surgeon ever.
This is what this job requires.
And I would just make it meansomething good about me.
So I don't need to really, youknow, being a mom is not a

(07:00):
surgeon, yes, but I also don'tneed to beat myself up about
being upset, right?
So that's what I wrote down,idiot thoughts.
So then there's a package calledself-criticism package and it
will pretty much, it will havethe exact same thoughts every

(07:22):
single time, right?
Like, oh my God, I'm old andfat.
I'm an idiot.
Everyone thinks I'm stupid,something like that.
And so you need to get to knowyour packages and see them for
what they are.
For example, if you have anissue with not working out, you
will have that criticism packageand beat yourself up with the

(07:45):
exact same thoughts each time.
And the crazy part to me is thatMost of these thoughts are
unconscious, subconsciousthoughts.
We don't even see them.
We don't even hear them, but wefeel them.
How do we feel them?
We feel super shitty.
We feel bad.
Sorry, I dropped my microphone.
By the way, did you notice myquality of audio went up?

(08:09):
I finally got myself a new micfor the car for you guys.
I'm sorry if my audio wasterrible before, but I'm just
recording in my mom's office,which is the car.
So that's what I love about thiswhole coaching thing.
What I learned from coaching isthat I love exposing my thought

(08:39):
packages so I can then changethem.
And the awareness just grows,right?
And I hope that as you listen tome, you also become more aware
of your own thought packages.
And then once we're aware ofthem, then they just, I find,
they just transform on theirown.
Because we instantly...

(09:02):
see, do we want this or do wenot want that?
Oh, why am I thinking that?
Oh my gosh, wow.
Or we think, oh wow, this is agood thought.
And we've become pretty proud ofourselves.
So I hope this is helpful to youguys.
I would love to hear how thisone lands for you.
So don't be afraid to discoverterrible, terrible thoughts

(09:22):
about yourself because this isjust information we're
gathering.
And Knowing, discovering thesethoughts is more than half the
job done.
It's really, you're really soclose to really letting go of
that thought because you havediscovered it.
You might even need to discoverjust that one time to really let

(09:45):
it go because you will see howridiculous it is and how untrue
it is as soon as you look at itconsciously.
So that's kind of the whole funpart of it is seeing that
transformation and realizing,wow, I can't believe I even
thought that about myself.
That's not even true.
Just like when my brain offeredto me that I don't cook at the

(10:06):
same day that I actually cookedthree meals.
Like if I was unconscious tothat thought, I would have kept
on believing that I don't cook.
And I would have kept on cookingand believing that I don't cook.
And when I would do that, right,I would believe that
unconsciously, I would also feelbad, right?

(10:27):
I wouldn't feel a sense ofaccomplishment.
I would feel maybe embarrassedor ashamed or whatever sort of
bad feeling that happens.
That's what I would feel.
So I'm glad I uncovered it.
And I'm glad now I am a veryproud cooking mama.
All right, guys.
I love you all.

(10:49):
Write to me.
I'd love to hear from you.
Have a great day and I'll talkto you next time.