"I don't want to be a burden to my sister"

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Are you avoiding visiting your sister just because you don’t want to be a burden to her well listen to this episode to to help you change how you look at it.
Just like with anything, we can either change how we’re thinking about it or we can keep the way we’re thinking about it, but we can make it means something else. Listen to this episode to see how I coach this client on visiting her sister and how I apply it to my intermittent fasting and hunger.

Jackie from Intermittent Fasting Foodie has inspired me to try OMAD or eating one meal a day and i am loving it so far!

Gin Stephens is the other awesome lady who inspired both of us, check out her book Delay, Don't Deny and her other book Jackie from Intermittent Fasting Foodie has inspired me to try OMAD or eating one meal a day and i am loving it so far!

Gin Stephens is the other awesome lady who inspired both of us, check out her book Delay, Don't Deny and her other book .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hey guys, do you want to not be a burden to your
family?
Well, listen to this coachingthat I gave to a person who is a
grandma and I helped her connectwith her sister and be a better
grandma just by changing the wayshe thinks about being a burden.

(00:20):
So she didn't want to go visither sister because she didn't
want to be a burden to her.
And even though her sister waskept inviting her and telling
her, it's fine, you should come,like, when are you coming?
That person didn't want to go.
She said that I don't want to bea burden.
She always does so much for me,and she goes out of her way, and

(00:44):
I see how much she does for me,and I just don't want to be a
burden.
And after listening to her for awhile, I realized that the way
she thinks about a burden is isnot in a good way.
She thinks being a burden is notgood.
So of course then, therefore,she does not want to be

(01:05):
burdened.
But then I helped her see thatthe way she's showing up for her
kids and her grandkids isactually her honoring her kid's
For example, her kids and hergrandkids live far away across

(01:27):
the country, many hours flightaway, yet she still goes to see
her kids as much as she can.
She still goes to see hergrandkids and having to spend
that money on the flights.
in a way can be seen as aburden, right?
Especially if you have a limitedamount of money and you get to

(01:47):
choose, do I go on vacation ordo I go see my kids and
grandkids?
So I said, do your kidsappreciate you coming to see
them and the grandkids?
She said, yes.
And I said, well, that's aburden, right?
Do you see that?
And she really agreed.
She said, yeah, you're right.
That is a burden, but it feelsgood to see honor that burden

(02:10):
like to her her kids living faraway and her having to go see
them can be seen as a burden butit makes her feel good to take
care of that take that burden onbecause she that means she has
family she has kids she hasgrandkids and so as soon as she
changed the way she thoughtabout a burden she realized that

(02:32):
maybe she can enjoy being aburden to her sister, to her
family member.
And that not only she could thengo see her sister, visit her
family, but she also decided totake more burden on herself by
inviting and taking care of hergrandkids during summer to help

(02:57):
her kids, which is a lot of workfor her.
But she's happy to do that.
She's happy to be that helper,to take that burden on, right?
So the reason why I'm sharingthis with you is because
sometimes we don't need tochange our thinking.
You know how I'm always sayingyou can change your thoughts,
you can change your thinking,but sometimes it's really

(03:20):
helpful to decide, okay, youknow what?
I get to keep my thinking, but Iget to decide that it's going to
mean something different.
So like she thought the burdenwas bad.
Now she sees it from a differentangle, like, oh, having a family
burden means I have a family.
That's great.

(03:40):
All families come with some sortof burden, right?
The other thing for me, or forme as well, but for other people
with fasting, hunger can be seenas a burden, right?
Or hunger can be seen as aproblem.
And a lot of people don't wantto do intermittent fasting
because they don't want to behungry.

(04:03):
Well, as you learn aboutintermittent fasting, you learn
that hunger is a great thing.
It's the way our body isdesigned to signal to us that we
need food.
But also, if we don't eat atthat moment, our body learns to
access our stored energy, ourfat.
So that can be a wonderfulthing.

(04:24):
So now every time I get hungryand if it's early in the
morning, which actually doesn'thappen anymore at all, maybe
sometimes midday, I think, okay,great.
My body is going to go get somefat from the freezer, from my
butt, from my stomach.
So again, I didn't have tochange the fact that I'm hungry

(04:46):
and I might have thoughts like,oh my gosh, I'm hungry.
But then I changed what theymade it mean.
It means that I am accessing myfat stores.
It's great.
Burn, baby, burn.
So what thoughts can you keepbut change what they make it
mean?
And how can you make it usefulfor yourself?

(05:10):
Like recording this podcast andbeing nervous and putting myself
out there, I can make it meanthat, oh my gosh, I shouldn't be
doing it, but I can make it meanthat this is just the price you
have to pay for putting yourselfout there.
So there's tons of examples Ican come up with, but what is

(05:31):
your example?
What can you keep thinking, butmake it mean something more
useful for yourself?
All right, guys, come hang outwith me on YouTube.
I post these videos in mybeautiful car here for all of
you to see.
And come visit me there.
Leave me some questions, somecomments.

(05:52):
I would love to know what youthink.
Hope this was helpful.
Have a great day and I love yousoon.
And I love you and I'll see yousoon.