Trauma to Triumph | Shaun T | Straight Outta The Lair Podcast - Straight Outta The Lair with Flex Lewis

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You just worked out for an hour.
Everybody's on the floor, andso that was how Insanity was
developed.
One of the most unhealthythings I've ever done.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
My next guest is best known for his home fitness
programs for adults, adultchildren, which include T25,
Insanity, Hip Hop, Abs Size.
Let's Get Up and now Dig Deeper.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sean T,Welcome to Straight Outta the
Lair, my friend.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
Yo, I love this place .
What's up, man?
Thanks for having me on theshow, Bro, talk about size.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
you've added Look at this guy.
I say when he walked in thedoor, I was like man, Thanks for
having me on the show, Bro,talk about size.
You've added Look at this guy.
I say when he walked in thedoor.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
I was like man, I was like Shanti.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
And you got big bro.

Speaker 3 (00:51):
That's what he said.

Speaker 2 (00:51):
He came in and he's like Shanti's huge.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Yeah, I mean, you know I never really realized how
small I was until I got big.
And you know my coach called me.
He's like oh, that used to be alittle man.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
I don't think you would ever small, my friend
Always ripped, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
I think, always ripped, always ripped.
I think you're supersized.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
I never really realized how 6'188 or 190 pounds
was compared to putting onmuscle and being now 215, so 216
.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Well, welcome to the gym.
I know you've been here acouple of times, yes, and it's
great to have you here, myfriend, and obviously there's
something going on here.
The body fat is looking verylean.
We got a show coming up.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
We got four weeks out to Universe.
I'm going to compete in classicphysique and men's physique,
going for the pro card.
I did my very first show lastsummer, did the Texas Pro, which
was such an incredibleexperience and you know, I never
, ever, ever, thought I wouldget on a bodybuilding stage Like

(01:57):
I used to do events and therewere bodybuilders there and I
always admired the physique andyou know just, I knew obviously
how much hard work went into it.
But I was like one I don'tthink I could look like that and
two, it just didn't interest meuntil it did.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Well, it certainly looks like it did no right?
Yeah, it sure did.

Speaker 3 (02:16):
And I mean like I've been.
I've been a fan for a long time.
You know I've done the Insanityvideos religiously.
I've done the hip-hop abs.
You know you're always ripped,you know, and so that's why when
I saw you, I was like oh, wowhe got big.
That's great man, you lookgreat.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Thanks, I appreciate it, I do but I do want to talk
about your, your fitness story,um, later on in the episode.
But I want to take us back tothe early beginnings were you
always a lean kid?
And and tell us about yourupbringing.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
Wow.
So my upbringing, like everyoneelse in the world, you know, I
always say to people we all havea story.
You know we all have gotten tothis place from somewhere.
And I'm not sure if you'refamiliar with Robin Roberts.
I think I love her so muchbecause she always talked about
she had a book called likeEverybody's Got Something,
because she always talked aboutshe had a book called like

(03:08):
Everybody's Got Something.
And so everyone sees, you knowthis Sean T, you know the guy on
the infomercial that's smiling,that has like this successful
career, and they're like, oh mygosh, like how amazing would it
be like to be him.
But getting to that place wassuch, it was like such a
struggle and it was.
I was so proud of myself.
When I look at that commercial,people see fitness and I see

(03:29):
somebody that actually surviveda very traumatic early childhood
.
And you know, for the longesttime I would talk about this and
I would immediately startcrying until I went to therapy.
But you know, I grew up inJersey, uh, but originally I,
the first seven years of my lifeI lived in Philadelphia and I
lived with my mom, my stepfatherand my brother and literally

(03:52):
like an apartment the size ofthis office or this set, and
this was even like big you know.
And so you know, we just kindof had this childhood and we
moved.
Then we ended up moving toJersey and within a year of
moving to New Jersey, mystepfather I call him my step
monster started sexually abusingme from the time I was eight to

(04:13):
the time I was 12.
Like he was an alcoholic, justhe's a horrible person, and you
know, I guess I was his outletand so I really my childhood
sucked.
It just sucked, like everythingbirthdays, christmas, you know,
cookouts, all this stuff thatpeople really enjoyed.

(04:36):
Like every single one of thosemoments was I was faking
happiness, you know.
And so that, and and you knowobviously any part of your
childhood from, you know youhave kids, you know.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
You, you know when you're super Really
impressionable in those years.

Speaker 1 (04:52):
Yeah, this is like your, your life, and then,
especially around eight yearsold, that's supposed to be a
time where you're, you know,especially as like as a boy,
you're starting to like not be amama's boy as much You're
starting to, you know, have alittle bit more independence and
strength.
And for me, I was justliterally struggling, like

(05:15):
afraid to go to bed at nightbecause at 2 o'clock in the
morning I knew it was going tohappen Every night.
It was.
It felt like every night, butit was a couple times a week and
he was an alcoholic, so anytimehe would get drunk, come home
from the bar or from somewhere,late, like the whole thing was,
I would be laying in my bed.
We had kind of like a graveldriveway, so like I would hear

(05:36):
the car pull up door close.
And it was really really crazy.
I tell this and people have ahard time listening to it, but
this is literally what happened.
Drive up door would close.
He would get in a fight with mymother Like I would hear them
fight.
Like I knew this was going tohappen, fight.
He would come upstairs, go intothe bathroom, close the

(05:59):
bathroom door, but he didn't goin the bathroom.
He came in my room and you know, yeah, and everything unfolded.
So that was just my life as akid.
It just wasn't.
And it got to a point where youknow the people like you know,
how did you survive?
And I'm like, for me, I tookthe position of I'm protecting

(06:23):
my mom, protecting my brother inthe other room.
I'm like, cause, if I saysomething like this guy's
literally probably going to killus all.
So like I'm like I'm just goingto let this happen because I
want her to be okay and I wantmy brother to be okay, and so
that's, that's literally how Isurvived it.
It was just like I made myselfa.
You know, I made myself like awarrior, like I'm, I'm the

(06:47):
protector here, like I'm doingthis for a reason.
And then, uh, but you know,surrounding all that, there will
be times when you know life wasgoing on and everyone in the
house and we would have friendsover, a family over, and
everyone be like all happy, andI'll be like hiding in my closet
.
I don't know if you guysremember, I don't know if you

(07:08):
even remember there was a toydoll called my Buddy.
Like my Buddy was my bestfriend, I still have one to this
day.
I know it's like really crazy.
My husband, scott, bought meone like 13 years ago.
He was like I'm going to buyyou this because it was just
like such a staple of mychildhood kind of like a
reminder of what you got overexactly exactly.

(07:30):
And some people think like, oh,isn't that triggering?
I'm like no, like you don'tunderstand.
Like this is my best friend, Iwould be in the closet with him
and my light, bright toy and Iwas like this.
So people always wonder likeyou know, I I'm really really
outgoing, but I also love beingalone where I used to be afraid
to be alone.
So therapy really helped me,kind of like now I embrace, like

(07:52):
when I have my alone time, butanyway, so that went on from the
time I was eight to the time Iwas 12.
Now here's the.
This is the craziest part thatpeople cringe over.
They never understand.
And I'm going to answer thisquestion before anybody even
says like I wonder if that's thereason why you're gay.
No, it's absolutely not.
Like I just need to put thatout because people are like, oh,
that happened to you.

(08:13):
Like I'm going to pray for you,that's why you're gay.
Nope, that's not why I'm gay.
Nope, that's not.
It Let it happened.
And you know the moment the lasttime he sexually abused me was
when I had my first orgasm.
Like that was it.
Like he was a true pedophile,you know, because the minute the
manhood came about, that was itLike he was like I'm out, you

(08:36):
know.
And then but here's the evencrazier thing, like for me in my
head, people are like you know.
People say like oh, who wasyour first love?
Or you know who was the firstgirl you fell in love with?
Like I felt abandoned by, likeMama Lester, and so like I tried
to get him to do it again.

(08:56):
Because you just feel this andthat is like really crazy.
And to the point where I juststarted, like the more like he
you know, stepped away,conditioned you, and I saw
something.
Yeah, he conditioned me to belike that, and so then it went
from like me being like he wouldlike walk around, like, yeah,
sean, they called me shawnee,like shawnee's my favorite, my

(09:17):
favorite son, excuse me, to thepoint where like I was
non-existent to him, like hewould like literally distance
himself from me.
And so that actually helped me.
Because then, at the age of 14,I was like I moved out of the
house.
I was like I got to get out ofhere.
I had to find a way to get outof here and I actually asked my
grandparents, could I move inwith them?

(09:38):
And the first night I'll neverforget, the first night I moved
in with them.
We all went to and I juststarted bawling, like it was,
and everyone, like they ran inthe room and they were like, oh,
my grandfather's a pastor.
So I was in church like four orfive times a week either,
singing, you know, praying, youknow doing all the church things

(10:01):
.
But that night they came in andlike started praying over me
and they were just like, oh mygosh, like, and I was.
I told her I was like, no, I'mjust so happy, you know, like I
was just like, oh my God, I'm solike.
I get emotional about that.
Cause that in in religioussense, you know, they say you
know, except Jesus Christ isyour personal savior, like
you're born again and like thatwas at 14.

(10:23):
I was like that's when Iactually felt like actually came
to life, like I escaped this,like darkness, and then that is
truly where my life began, likea lot of people's life, like you
said, you know, with my kids Ishowed them love from the moment
they were born, but for me,like I lost 14 years of my life.
So like, if you subtract 14years from 46, you know I'm, I'm

(10:46):
, I'm 32 years old, I know, Ilook it, you know.
So that's, you know, that wasthat was my childhood.
And then you know, and then Igot to high school and I just
became a different human.
I started like I playedfootball when I was a kid, but I
never again football was anescape from being home, like you
know, like sports was that.
But then, when I got to, when Igot to high school, but I never
again football was an escapefrom being home, like you know,
like sports was that.
But then when I got to highschool and I fell in love with

(11:09):
track and field and I became a.
I was a really good 400 meterhurdler.
I got scholarships like thewhole thing.
I'm not going to brag, butPeople wonder where.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
This is your podcast.
We know you're an athlete.
Yeah, we know we.
We know you're an athlete.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
Yeah, we know we can see it you know, but people
wonder where insanity came from,and I'm like my love of track
and field and the pain that yougo through with every practice
is where insanity came from.
And, like, the whole Dig Deepermovement came from.
And so in high school, that'swhen I just I became me.
You know I was born and so thatwas my childhood.

(11:43):
You know I was born and so thatwas my childhood.
And you know I have all these,like I have a bunch of tattoos
and people say why do you havelike you know they ask me about
why do I have all these sayings?
I'm like everything you see onmy body and even in my book.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
It's a reminder.

Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah, my book T is a transformation of like truth
bombs.
I'm like everything you see inmy body is everything I would
tell myself to survive.
You know, as a kid you don'tknow that's really what you're
telling yourself, but when yougo back you're like holy crap,
like this is all the things I'mgoing through and it doesn't
really stop at that 14 now doesit right?

Speaker 3 (12:23):
Because you know I've had some child trauma myself
and you know it sticks with you.
And it's like as, as men andpeople, I think we bury a lot of
these things that we don'tunderstand until later on in
life.
And, as you said, you went totherapy and you know, had to go
through that process, right, andwe all have to find our
self-love and a lot of thosethings get really confusing and

(12:49):
you know so you know tell usabout how that that therapy went
.
You know, finally, you knowmoving forward, not to pass
anything up, but you know tokind of focus on that because
you know those things it didn't,they don't stop at 14.
You're still dealing with them,probably now in some form, but
you've figured out how to dealwith it in a way that you're
okay with it now and the selflove and everything else is just
different now, but you didn'tjust stop dealing with it at 14.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, that's a really great question or great
statement, because when I was,when I was 14, like if we talk
about that for a moment, it wasthe joy of escape you know, so
you're you're just like, I'm notin that toxic environment
anymore.
So in a way, while it feltreally great, it was, also the

(13:32):
joy was masking all of thatstuff that I had no idea seven
years from then, at 21 years old, I was going to have to deal
with in a much more difficultway.
You know, because when you'rein high school and college and
you know you're, you're living,you're exploring like at the
adolescent stage a lot of times,especially like because I was
in a place where I was, I was ina really good place with people

(13:56):
who loved me.
So I was, I was more like beingnurtured to be like a really
good human.
But then when I hit 21, itstarted like getting in my first
relationship.
I was like, oh my gosh, likethis is like really crazy.
And then so I got to about 25and that's when I had my very
first therapist and my veryfirst therapist was really

(14:19):
focused on like sexuality, likeembracing who I was, like
finding my way through that,especially growing up in a very
religious christian householdand like maneuvering through
that.
But it was my second therapistthat got me through the the
tough sexual uh, sexual abusebecause that's around the time

(14:43):
when I met my now husband, scott, and this is if anyone out
there finds themselves like in aspace or like creating havoc in
your relationship and you knowinternally that you're causing
this, but you don't know whereit's coming from, it's a really

(15:05):
good time to look into your pastor to go to therapy.
So I would.
It would be two o'clock in themorning and I would literally
just wake up and start a fightwith Scott.
Like I know you can laugh aboutit.
It sounds like so wild andliterally I would drag him out
of the bed.
I would be like so mad.
It's something he did likeearlier in the day that you know

(15:29):
.
At that time it was like reallydeep for me and this like
happened like like once a week.
It was bad.
I was like this man isliterally going to be like yeah,
leave me, so then I get totherapy.
I was like I have to go totherapy because this is crazy.
I don't know why this ishappening, and I didn't want to
admit that it was me, cause Iwas just like you when you're
going through something likethat, you're like it's that

(15:49):
person, like I don't know ifit's so.
One day I was just like super,super sad and I didn't have a
therapy session and my therapistwas always like.
She was like, if you feel crazy, literally in the middle of the
day, she was like sometimes Ihave a break, just text me or
call me and then we can workthrough it.
So I called her and I was likethis you know, this just keeps

(16:10):
happening and I don't know why.
And she just asked me onequestion.
She was like but what happenedto you at two o'clock in the
morning?

Speaker 3 (16:16):
yeah, that's where I was gonna go.

Speaker 1 (16:18):
When you said two o'clock in the morning, I was
like what, and that, literally,like that was the start of like
me truly, I wouldn't saynecessarily getting over the
sexual abuse, but that was thestart of me dealing with it in a
way that I knew where to put itand then I could actually love
the person that I was with forthe person, Because I'm, like

(16:40):
confused.
I was confusing love from a manwith love from my stepfather,
like, which is so wild, you know.
And so that was the start of melike really dealing with that,
and I did.
I went through a lot of andthat wasn't it again, that
wasn't the end just finding thatout, it was like all of the
things you had to deal with andyou know.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
So, yeah, it was yeah , we put these things away, you
know.
But it's like you it was yeah,we put these things away, you
know.
But it's like you really haveto understand and be okay that
these things happen to me andyou grow from that Right, and
obviously you've grown yourcareer and it's it's obviously
given you some kind of push pastpain and and all those types of
things, but you have to go anddive into those things and and

(17:21):
be okay with what happened tomove forward in life.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
Yeah, I mean it's, it's, it's.
You said something reallyimportant.
You know, push past pain and uh, you know people always ask me
where dig deeper comes from.
And I'm like, because this is,you know, most of the time, when
you're, when you're working outthe last three reps or if
you're doing like body weightactivity, like those 30 seconds,

(17:45):
I'm like this is only 30seconds of your life.
Like can like what I wentthrough four years.
I'm like if I went through fouryears of that, I'm like I can
get through these 30 seconds, Ican get through these 30 seconds
.
I always tell people there'salways a reserve and I don't
really like saying throughstruggle comes strength, because
sometimes it downplays theperson being allowed to be in

(18:08):
the struggle.
But it also is very true thatonce you go to therapy or
acknowledge what happened to youand you are able to, like I
said, you can't get over but getthrough it and work through it,
you do find strength.
Because you find six, you foundsuccess of being able to get
through something.

(18:28):
So, um, yeah, so that's how Ijust kind of like keep pushing
and that's how.
I motivate people, which isreally great.

Speaker 2 (18:37):
Can I go back a little bit?
I know we kind of we a littlebit all over, but did um, did
you have the chance to to bringthis guy into the authorities?

Speaker 1 (18:47):
So no, but I do have a story.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
We love stories.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
I have plenty of those, so this is the wildest
thing.
So I moved out of the house.

Speaker 3 (18:55):
Or go back and punch him in the face.

Speaker 1 (18:57):
Yeah, so I never the day I left the house.
It was kind of sad becausewhile I did talk to my mother
and I saw my brother in school,my brother and I was still
really close because we rantrack together, we played sports
together, but I didn't, youknow, it kind of distanced the
relationship with my mom, but I,but for me it was like,

(19:19):
unfortunately, worth only seeingher a little bit.
To see him not at all, you know, to not see him at all.
So I didn't see him for myentire high school career.
So then I got to college andthen I started, I started
teaching fitness classes, whichthen got me a minor in dance,
theater, dance, and so I I was,I was a really good dancer.

(19:42):
I wouldn't know I was killing it.
I wouldn't know when I tell youI was so good I've seen hip-hop
dance.
We've seen you.
I did a TikTok here at the Lairbefore You're going to teach me
some movement?
I will.
When that arm gets better,let's go.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
Don't use this as a disadvantage, bro.
You just do the robot, bro.

Speaker 1 (20:01):
I mean no, we got.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
I could do feet and shoulders you know, okay, okay,
I got some moves.

Speaker 1 (20:06):
But I got accepted into this.
Really, it was like kind of abig dance show at a small
theater in Philadelphia, but itwas.
If you got accepted into theshow, it was like huge.
So I'm dancing in this show.
It's just like me and my friendwe're doing this like
incredible number and I look outand he's there, come show is

(20:32):
just like me and my friend we'redoing this like incredible
number and I look out and he'sthere, come on.
Y'all.
Wow, it's a chills.
So I had two, I had two ways togo about this.
Yeah, I could either freeze andit like completely ruined the
entire experience, or I coulddance harder, and so I chose
dancing harder, and so I getdone and I'm like I have.
I could either walk away.
I'm like what's going to fuelme in this moment?
And there's no right way todeal with this, like this isn't.

(20:54):
So I remember walking up to himand I didn't say a word.
I just kind of looked at himand he was just like you know,
oh, like you did so great orwhatever like that.
And I just kind of looked athim and he was just like you
know, oh, like you did so greator whatever like that and I just
looked at him and I just walkedaway and that was the last time
I saw him.
Good for you, but last time Isaw him, however, my mom had no

(21:16):
idea that this had happened,like no one knew that he had
done this to me.
So he was still with my mother,this to me.
So he was still with my mother.
And the only reason she gotaway from him is is because one
day she called me.
I was in college.
She called me.
She was like I finally left him, like he's out, he's out of the
house, and he had had to put agun to her head.

(21:37):
Like dragged out the house, hada gun to her head and she was
able to get away from it.
And that was the last time.
So I never, we never, never,pressed charges like never,
whatever.
Here's another crazy part of thestory.
So me and Scott go toPennsylvania to see cause I had
a bunch of cousins on that side.
We had a big family, it washuge.

(21:58):
So I, we were in Philadelphiaand one of my cousins was like
hey, you know, stop by.
I was like cool.
So Scott and I stopped by herhouse and her mom was there.
Who is his sister.
So so my, so his.

(22:19):
So, yeah, I see your hands Like, let me, let me work that.
So I go to, I go back to Philly, I go to his sister's house,
but I was visiting my cousin,her daughter, and so, scott, I
go to his sister's house, but Iwas visiting my cousin, her
daughter, and so Scott myself,scott and those two were sitting
at the table and we're justlike talking, like at this point
I had told my mom what happened, which we can go back to that
whole thing later and so we'rejust sitting around the table
talking, and his name was Reds,but they called him Chickie.

(22:40):
That was his name and she waslike, yeah, you know, when
chickie died and I had no idea,so I'm like holding this in, and
me and scott are like under thetable, like wait a minute, he
died.
And they were like, yeah, youknow he died.
And like, toward the end, likehe was asking for, he's like I
just want to see my boys.
And I'm like, are you?
Wow now?
He's like, can someone reachout to the boys?

(23:01):
Like I just want to see them.
I'm like, thank god thesepeople did not reach out to me,
so the.
So I never said anything tothem but they actually they
actually found out that all thishappened through my book and
there was like one tiktok that Idid that I told my story and I
got a bunch of calls from himand cousin.
They were like I'm so sorry,you know this happened and so it

(23:23):
was really crazy.
But yeah, he died.

Speaker 3 (23:27):
So that moment you know, moment that you described
when you first saw him, and yousaid I danced harder, Right,
what a spiritual growth momentin life.
Right, Because you could havegone another way and just attack
this guy or you know, but theignoring him and not giving him
any satisfaction and you goingharder, that's a push towards

(23:48):
life, you know, and and andovercoming, you know, and I
really appreciate that.
I felt that when you said that.

Speaker 1 (23:54):
Yeah, I mean him knowing that I reached like a
high level of success, you knowwas kind of the win for me.
You know was the win, becausethis is why it was a win.
So like, imagine being like 11years old and you have a science

(24:17):
project and so we had this.
Really I love science and so wehad this like really incredible
science store in my house Imean near my house where I grew
up, and my brother and my momwere going.
I think my brother had afootball game that day and so
they went there and so all ofthe molestation happened at
night.
So he was taking me to this day.

(24:40):
Like daytime was safe for me, soI just had this like I didn't
have like a lot of anxietyduring the day.
So I went downstairs and I waslike, you know, can we go to the
store?
He was like, yeah, but you gotto do one thing, so this.
So it was the first time likehe literally made me perform
these sexual acts in the daytimebecause I wanted something like

(25:03):
I know you, I can feel it inyour soul like you're getting
like.
It was like so crazy, so toyour point when I danced harder,
like it was actually for thatmoment more than the for the
other time, because, like thatwas a time where I felt like he
wanted to gain the most controlover me, to be like I'm making
you do this, you're gonna lookat me when you do this, you know

(25:25):
, and he tried to like make medrink alcohol it was nuts, y'all
like it was nuts.
So dancing harder, you know,like of course I wanted to fight
him.
Yeah, you know, of course Iwanted to stop dancing, go out
there, jump over the chairs andbe like I don't even know if I'm
gonna win this fight, but but Iwas like my aggression has to

(25:46):
go towards something that'sgoing to make me feel like I won
, you know.
And so that was it.
And dancing was like it stillis like such a.
It makes me forget about anykind of pain, you know.

Speaker 2 (25:59):
So well on on the transition of dancing.
I think you've done pretty okaythere, my friend.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
I did, man.
I did a really good job.
I ended up dancing for MariahCarey, which was like one of my
greatest things that everhappened to me.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
So tell us that transition from college, because
in my research, your first ever.
What is it when you put on someevent in college?
Right, I think 90 people turnedup for this event.
Yes, my goodness.

Speaker 1 (26:30):
So I went to college.
So I got a scholarship fortrack and field to a bunch of
different colleges, but I alsogot an academic scholarship to
the college that I went to,which was Rowan University, and
so my mom was like she was likeeven if you go to a D3 school,
you can still run D1 times, andlike maybe you'll still get your
dreams of going to the Olympicsor whatever you want to do.

(26:51):
But I ended up going to collegeand I didn't run track like the
first year, I just ate andgained weight because we grew up
poor.
I grew up in a situation whereI would sneak downstairs to the
kitchen after everyone went tobed and would put bread in my

(27:12):
underwear just because I wantedmore food, because it was like
once the kitchen was closed, itwas closed.
So when I got to college, I hada food cart and this food cart
worked with the Domino's at like1 o'clock in the morning and I
had a scholarship.
So I wasn't even.
I didn't even have to pay forthis.
This is free, dude.
I didn't drink alcohol, like Iwasn't like one of those people
that went to college and juststarted drinking.

(27:33):
I literally didn't drink till Iwas 21.
But when I tell you I ate, Iate the big zd.
And I was like just swipingthat card, man, to the point
where it was actually my firstsemester sophomore year.
I was an RA, you know residentassistant in my building, my
dorm room, and I woke up one dayand I looked in the mirror and
I was just like, oh my God, Iwas 178 pounds when I graduated

(27:56):
high school, like super lean,and I was 228 pounds.
So I gained 50 pounds, likethat first kind of four years.

Speaker 3 (28:06):
Pizza will do that People say to freshmen 15.
I was like man.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
I didn't even drink, like I didn't even have like a
beer with this.
But that day is when I went tothe gym and I literally just ran
on a treadmill for 10 minutes,because running is like
something I knew I could do.
And I woke up every day and allI did was run on a treadmill 10
minutes a day, and so I got toa point where I could run longer

(28:30):
and then and I went into theweight room.
But the point that I'm tellingthe story is I was actually a
communications major because Iwanted to do like radio, tv,
film, and I changed my majorfrom communications to sports
science and so they kept sayingin like my classes, in order for
you to be marketable in theindustry, you have to be able to
teach different types of groupexercise classes.
So I was like what do I do best?

(28:53):
I dance.
And so I don't know how old youguys are, but I don't know if
you remember mtv's grind workout.

Speaker 3 (28:59):
It was like oh, yeah, the grind workout where, eric
needs to ask God Come on, bro,I'm 40.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
Okay, and I lived in the UK.
We're old enough.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
And I still see you from the UK, y'all look so young
.

Speaker 3 (29:11):
Oh, thank you no.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
So I remember so I actually had done that workout
in one of like our buildingprograms or whatever.
So I asked the director of thestudent center.
I was like, hey, you know, canI teach a class?
And she was like, have you evertaught before?
I'm like no, but I can dance.
And so she was like okay, youknow, my school is really good
about that.
Like, if you want to trysomething, they're like okay,

(29:33):
good.
So I went to the schoolnewspaper.
I did like a whole photo shoot.

Speaker 3 (29:48):
It was like you know, could, I could dance and I
would go to the parties and Iwould be dancing.
I can see this guy having a bigline around him too.
He's just in the middle of 100.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
When you can dance, you're popular on the floor, you
just step in there, always inthe middle, yeah I know I can
dance when I've had a couple ofdrinks, but when I look at it
back, I can't dance.
But this is not my podcast.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Carry on no, it's good, I love it.
We're going to dance one day.
We have to.
But I went to the schoolnewspaper and I put in like you
know, teaching a class.
So I'm thinking, you know, I'mthinking 30 people are going to
show up, maybe you know.
I was like whatever.
So 90 people showed up to myfirst class and so she comes
over to me.
She was like the room onlyholds 60.
She's like you have to teachtwo classes in a row.

(30:26):
I was like all right, so Itaught two classes in a row and
immediately she put me on thegroup exercise schedule, packed
class every single time.
And for at that time I was 20,I was like maybe 1920, I think.
I was like later, my later 19year, uh, I had like I was
making 50 bucks teaching like aan hour group At 50 bucks an
hour.
So then I was like, oh, this isfun.

(30:48):
So then I learned how to teachboot camps, step aerobics.
I got certified in cycling, thesoul cycles and pelotons.
I'm like man, I was teachingthat rhythmic fun stuff back in
1999.
So that's kind of how I gotinto, that's how I got into
fitness.
And so, uh, once I did that,then I started going to fitness

(31:11):
conventions.
And when I started going tofitness conventions I made my
way to apply to be a fitnesspresenter at these fitness
conferences.
And so, uh, I did that for awhile and I won an award for
best international presenter.
And then I started getting jobsin all over Europe.
Man, like you got to understand, like, coming from where I came

(31:31):
from, where I didn't have a lotof money, you know, people
would call me up from a fitnessconvention in Europe and they're
like, yeah, how's, how does youknow?
Twenty five hundred euros forthree classes in a weekend,
sound, and we'll fly you over,you, over here.
I'm like doing what Iabsolutely love, like being on
stage motivating people.
I'm like this is awesome.
So that's how I got into thefitness world.

(31:54):
That was just.
I mean, it's kind ofcliff-noted, but that's kind of
how I got into that world and itwas just like it was amazing.
So then, when I I worked as a,I worked at a pharmaceutical
company for health programmanagement, and then this is
another long story, sorry.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
So I worked in corporate for like two and a
half years.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
And then I went to LA to visit a friend.
I just flew out to LA it was myfirst time flying there and my
friend was like you're a goodlooking guy, like you should get
some headshots done.
So I'm like okay.
So I went and got headshotsdone and I was like I'm
definitely going to take danceclasses out there, because dance
classes it's the Mecca in LosAngeles, you know.
So I go to this class, I havemy headshots for to this class

(32:51):
and the instructor, she was likeyou're a really good dancer.
She's like they're having a umaudition for this um, this
agency around the corner and Iwas like when is it?
She was like later today, I'mlike all right, had my
enterprise rental car went there.
I was wearing like a tank topand like nothing, I walk in.
All these people are likedressed to the nines.
I'm like, well, whatever, I'mjust here, this is fun for me.

Speaker 2 (33:05):
Kind of like you're in right now.
Yeah, just literally how I amright now it's sort of
describing itself Just let down.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
These garments are probably way more expensive than
what I was wearing before.
And so I walk into the room andthere's like 250 people At
least 100 of them were guys andI'm just like, but I was like a
little bit nervous, but also I'mlike what do I have to lose?
Like I'm just going to use thisas another dance class.
And so they kept making cutsand I kept staying and I kept

(33:32):
making, they kept making cutsand to the point, there was like
six guys left and they werelike we'll call you in two weeks
to see if you can be a part ofmy agency.
So I went home, I was doinglaundry at the laundromat with
my quarters, and I got this calland they were like we want you
to move out to LA to be in ouragency.
And I called my mom right away.
I was like I would have to quitmy job.
I was also teaching danceclasses, making over $100,000 a

(33:54):
year at this point already.
And my mom was like you don'twant to regret it.
She was like you know how tomake money, you have a degree.
You know how to make money, youhave a degree Like, go do it.
So I moved out to Los Angelesand with like $3,000 in my
pocket, my brother and I wedrove across.
Like you know, I had to liketape on my Chasing the dream.
I was chasing the dream, I hadtape on my rearview mirror Like

(34:17):
one of my things, like let's go,and so went out there.
But so went out there.
But I also got a job before Iwent out there, teaching at
Equinox, because of the fitnessconventions that I did, I knew a
bunch of people.
So I was teaching at Equinoxwhile I was also dancing and my
classes at Equinox were like mydance classes I'm not bragging,
they were good man, like peoplewould show up like 45 minutes to

(34:44):
an hour just so they could geta spot in my class.
And so you're in la.
So there's a bunch of producersaround.
So a producer from beach bodywould just like be watching my
class.
I'm like who's this womanwatching my class?
Anyway, she ended up reachingout to me.
She was like you know, we wouldlove for you to do a program
for our company.
I had no idea what beach bodywas.
I was just like it was always adream to do the eric niece
workout, you know.
So I was.
I just want to do this one time.

(35:04):
And so, anyway, I met withBeachbody and then I got a
contract and my first programwas Hip Hop Abs.
So that's where Hip Hop Abskind of originated from, and I
just remember being in theconference room and we're
talking about you know, somedancing was too hard how do we
make it easier for people athome?
And so I lifted up my shirt andI made my stomach like really

(35:26):
big.
I pushed my stomach out and Iwas like you know, if you really
just like tighten your core,like I'm, like all dancers have
to be low to the ground.
And they were like my God, andwe were like hip hop abs, this
is so cool, but here's the thing.
So people might not be able tosee it, but I have a scar on my

(35:50):
stomach right here.
So nine months before I got thiscontract, I had, um, my
appendix ruptured.
And my appendix had beenruptured for like two days.
I was in the hospital on likethey had no idea why I was in so
much pain.
Even they did cat scans, theydid all this stuff.
My appendix had ruptured behindmy intestines.
So my doctor comes in a room.
He's like your white blood cellcount is really high.
He's like we think you haveAIDS and I'm like, I'm like

(36:12):
there's one thing I don't haveand that's it because I was.
I was not that promiscuous and Ididn't, you know, shoot
intravenous drugs.
I'm like, no, it's got to besomething else, you know.
So then he was like we have todo exploratory surgery.
So anyway, they cut me openhere and they saw that my
appendix had ruptured behind myintestines.

(36:34):
And the doctor said to me afterI got out of surgery he was
like you're going to have areally rough recovery.
He's like because I saw yourabs and he was like I usually
cut people all the way up totheir sternum.
Because I saw your abs and hewas like I usually cut people
all the way up to their sternumand he was like I can't mess up
this guy's body.

Speaker 2 (36:47):
He was like your body is so good.
What a great doc.

Speaker 3 (36:50):
Dude like had he done that.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
It's that ugly scar that goes all the way up, the
scar that goes all the way uphere, All my motorcycle friends?

Speaker 3 (36:56):
Yeah, jump dirt bikes and stuff which is crazy.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
So Like thank God for that doctor, because nine
months later I'm sitting in aroom I show my abs and like my
entire first part of my careeris literally based on my abs.
Like had he done that and I hadthat scar, like I don't know if
I would have not gotten the job.
But like hip hop, abs was major, became the number one
infomercial.
I like bought my first truckfrom that.

(37:19):
It like really launched mycareer and I want to find that
doctor and just like I'm likehoping he's still alive because
he's pretty old.
When he did that, like 20 yearsago, but um what's that?
do you remember his name, doctor?
I don't remember his name I'm.
I need to try and find him.
Though it was in van.
I was in van eyes hospital.
I do remember that we got somefans.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
I love to do some research.
Yeah, for the fact I wouldtotally like.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
I was like I need to find this guy.
It was because, I mean, thatdecision literally like changed
the course of my career.

Speaker 3 (37:54):
I think, yeah, I mean because it's like you, you know
you're the, you're also like amodel with with everything else
and like in hollywood, you knowit's super competitive right.
So, like you said, maybe itwouldn't have gotten as far as
you, as you wanted, because ofthat scar or something so I
think.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
I think god lays the plan for us and everything
happens for a reason 100 man,because every audition, when
you're a dancer, when you're atall athletic dancer, everybody
takes off their shirts yeah, youknow what I mean.

Speaker 3 (38:22):
So in la is the worst place when it comes to this
real being picky on every littlething about you You've got them
all.
And then they know there'sanother 2,800 people out the
door waiting to try to take yourspot.

Speaker 2 (38:33):
Yes, I've had a rupture appendix and there's
nothing worse than that.
The pain.
And, like you, they went in,they cleaned me up.
It had burst and the pain was.
I was doubled up, hunched over,and that pain is excruciating.
So I sympathize on that view.
But one thing I want to justtouch back and we don't have to

(38:54):
talk about it, is Shout out tomom.
Yes, what a freaking great womanto give you that pat on the
back and a kick in the butt tosay chase your dream son.
Yes, because that is not common, let me tell you.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yeah, like I didn't want, I don't want to.
I definitely want to give herprops and not step over that,
because like that was thedefining moment, because if my
mom had been like you know, Imay have still gone anyway, but
I would have gone with likereservation and not freedom,
right, but like she wasliterally like stop doing
everything you're doing becauseyou don't want to regret it, you

(39:30):
know, and I'm glad you saidthat because I'm sure she'll
listen and hey, mom, you know,because I go your back you know,
I know that in her heart and inher soul, like a lot of moms,
feel like you know I wish Icould have done better, but I'm
like, like she was in, she'samazing, like she's the reason
why I graduated honors with ahigh in high school and college

(39:50):
and like you know, yeah, likeher life is.
You know she made some reallytough decisions in her life and
whatever, but like her love forus as her kids and like the
direction she put us on, I couldtell that she's like I don't
want you to end up like me in aplace that I wanted to do
something else.
She's like go, keep going.
She's still my biggest fan,love it.

Speaker 2 (40:10):
I just wanted to point that out.
Yeah, I appreciate that.
I had a very supportive mothertoo, full of worry Don't get me
wrong, but she me wrong.
But she said to me get on thatplane, you can always come home.
If you don't like it, you canalways come home, and I never
did now I fly it out to me.
I know that's it, she's actually, she's actually her, my, my dad
, are in my house right now.
I love that, um, but going backon to the timeline, so you now,

(40:32):
um, you've done the, you, youshowed your scar, you caught,
got the addition yeah what wasnext?

Speaker 1 (40:40):
well, after, after hip-hop abs, you mean, yes, oh,
so hip-hop abs.
And then, you know, with withbeach body, I just kept going.
I just I went hip-hop abs.
Then I did my second program,which was rock and body, which
is another dance program.
So they were like, oh, let'skeep this dancing going.
So then the ceo of beach body,called dykler, was wanting to do

(41:02):
an intense like body weightfitness program.
So I went to him.
I was like I want to do thisprogram and he was like, no,
you're just a dance guy.
And I'm like step back, give me24 hours.
Oh shit, I said, give me 24hours.
He was like I'll give me 24hours.
And he was like I'll give you24 hours.
So I called up like three orfour of my friends.

(41:22):
We went to a dance studio and Icalled up a videographer that I
knew and I was like are y'allready?
I didn't tell them what theywere doing and I did an insanity
workout.
It's actually one of thefilming is not one of the
workouts, but the workout that Icreated for my audition is
Plyometric Cardio Circuit.

(41:42):
It's literally the same workoutand we shot it and the
videographer sent me the DVD.
You know, you had to have aburner.

Speaker 3 (41:51):
DVD.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
I sent it to Carl Literally less than an hour
later he was like wait a minute,you mean to tell me you just
worked out for an hour?
Everybody's on the floor,you're still talking and doing a
workout.
He was like this is yourprogram, and so that was the
incentive.
That's how insanity wasdeveloped.
So basically, all I did wastake everything that I've I

(42:14):
learned in a track and fieldpractice.
You know, you, I was a 400meter hurdler, so we did eight
400s with there.
We had like either a minute or90 second rest and you did that
over and over and over again.
But all of our practices startedout with a mile run and our
coach was like you got to hitthat mile run in under seven

(42:34):
minutes, just as your warm-up.
So like people say like, oh mygosh, your insanity.
Warm-up is like people say likeoh my gosh, you're insanity.
Warmup is crazy.
I'm like I need you to knowwhat it feels like to run a mile
in seven minutes.
And then we did our stretchesand then you still have to go do
your workout, your yourinterval workout.
So that's why all of theworkouts are two minute
intervals with a 30 second rest.

(42:55):
Two minute intervals, 30 secondrest with a power move at the
end of it because you we had todo like the bleacher.
So I just took everything Ilearned in track and field and
put it into this and that thingblew up like crazy.

Speaker 3 (43:08):
Like I told you, I was all over that.
It made me go back, get hip-hopass, made me go back and you're
like I'm gonna do everything Idid.
I was like I love the energythat you brought to it.
You know, obviously it wasextremely hard, um, but I love
the energy about it and, yeah,man, I got hooked on it, uh, you
know, as part of my fitnessjourney were you in the marines
then?
I wasn't in the marines then Iwas already.

(43:29):
I was already out of themarines, but, um, I was just, uh
, me and my girl at the time, wejust fell in love with it.
You know, we love the energyabout it, right, and so we went
through all the programs, right,and and I was telling him
earlier when he first came in,even back in 2020, I went back
because, you know, now I'm at,I'm stuck at home and I just
though that program always worksso well for me, especially when

(43:50):
you stuck to it.
Keep your diet right, coretight you know and I love that.
It's been great you know and andit's, it's improved great, you
know, and it's improved a lot ofpeople's lives out there and so
it's great yeah, it changedpeople's lives and doing what?
You love it's great love tohear it.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
I loved it.
Do you know you were talkingabout?
You sent that?
What would it be, the?
What would it be when you sentthat to your producer?

Speaker 1 (44:18):
oh, the the screen test, basically.
What would it be when you sentthat to your producer?
Oh, the screen test, basically.

Speaker 2 (44:21):
Yes, the test and you said all of your colleagues are
on the floor and I've seen somany of your workouts, so the
people that are doing theworkouts with you, obviously
they're high, intense.
They've been around you, buthas there been any times where
you've had people in your ownclass on live commercials or

(44:42):
filming live that have passedout because they just can't keep
up with you?

Speaker 1 (44:46):
No.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
No, okay.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
And here's a very interesting story.
So, as you know, when you'reshooting fitness workouts, you
know they do an audition.
And so they do this auditionwhere they're like they want to
get good looking bodies.
And so in my head I was like Idon't want to do this.
I've already been doing a testgroup with people to you know

(45:10):
the people you see on theinfomercial.
I'm training them and I'm likeyou don't understand, like just
because someone looks gooddoesn't mean they're at this
level of fitness.
And so we do an audition.
But the people in my test groupwas like we want to.
We want to be in the workoutstoo.
So, literally, you know thewarm-up of insanity is insane.

(45:32):
And so let all the fitnessmodels that are like really
pretty, they're like falling out, oh yeah the only people that
are left are the people thatwere in my test group.
So there were some people likemarathon runners or like
triathletes that came in thatthey're hired.
You see, them are like breakdancers.
It's crazy how fit breakdancers are, so I had some break

(45:55):
dancers in there.
But most of the people you seein my workouts are people that
have trained under me or they'vedone, but and when I got in my
later years, like with max 30,like these are people who had
completed insanity like 12 times.
Because I'm like I need peoplein the workouts that can keep up

(46:16):
so that they don't pass out,because we would shoot two
workouts a day man, I wouldwatch people in the back.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
I'd watch people in the back when he was yeah but
like you said, bro, this guy'sgoing to go.
This guy's going to go.

Speaker 3 (46:27):
You're like who's going to go next?
I remember Rachel in the videobut, like he said, I was out of
the Marine Corps so I was usedto tough stuff.
There was times where it becamelike the cold plunges now where
you're like looking at thatcold plunge and you're like, ooh
, I really want to do this Causewhen you're about to start
insanity, it's like you gottalike get your mind right and be
like all right, like I have aquestion for you.

Speaker 1 (46:47):
How many times did you pee before you did your
workout?
Everybody's like I gotta go tothe bathroom, I gotta go to the
bathroom.

Speaker 3 (47:00):
And they're like I'll get in, I'll get in, let me
just touch, alright.
Alright, let's go.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
My phone's ringing yeah exactly but thank you,
thank you so much, I reallyappreciate it well, I can
personally tell you obviouslynot coming from the US, as you
can probably hear by my accentif you did not already know?
I kind of knew it was all overthe you know after that, uh,
watershed infomercials were allyou.

(47:24):
Any channel, any channel, Imean, it went from I would say
probably like from 12 to three,four in the morning oh yeah
you'd always see sean t therewith his top off ripped up.
I was already on my bodybuildingjourney, so I was not going to
be doing any of the workouts butI will say that it's changed a

(47:44):
lot of people's lives that Ipersonally know and even still
to this day, I want to give youcredit and give you the flowers
where they're due, because a lotof people during COVID dusted
off them DVDs and they put themback into the DVD player if they
still had them probably the PS3or PS4 at that point and it
kept them sane and they put themback into the DVD player.
If they still had them, probablythe PS3 or PS4 at that point.
Yeah, exactly, and it kept themsane in the insanity.

(48:05):
Yeah.
So respect to you, my friend.
This thing kept on prolongingitself many, many moons later,
and who knew that this wouldhave a resurgence again during
COVID?
So during that time again, didyou really know you had
something special and you weretraveling around the world?
Or was it a delayed reaction?
Because the reason why I askedthat some people don't know the

(48:28):
impact they make because they'reso in the grind until they take
a step back and then they seehow many lives they changed.
What was your perspective onthat?

Speaker 1 (48:37):
So I have a very different perspective in that,
because someone told me that mypursuit to have an infomercial a
fitness infomercial would neverwork.
Like I literally like my agent,the agent that brought me to LA
I was going to have them havethis contract.
They would get 20 percent ofall of my money that I ever made

(49:00):
.
I gave them the contract.
They were like we're not goingto take any of this money
because these infomercial thingsnever work.
So I walked out of that officeand I was defeated in a sense,
because I'm like yo, you know,I'm one of your top dancers, I'm
always working.

(49:20):
Yo, you know, I'm one of yourtop dancers, like, I'm always
working.
So the fact that you would eventhink that you wouldn't be even
encouraging, like, all right,let me, let's do everything we
can to make this work harder soI'm like okay.
So when I when I sold 10 milliondvds, 10 and I counted and I'm
not about you know, I'm notabout money.
But in I'm not about money.
But in this situation I waslike when I counted, when I sold

(49:42):
10 million DVDs, and I lookedat my bank account and I was
like that 20% that y'all weregoing to get because you didn't
believe in me, I got it.
But the most important thing toanswer your question was when I
walked out of that buildingthat day.
I was like, well, if I changeone person's life from this just

(50:02):
one Like, imagine you changingone person's life, a person that
may have been sexually abusedor was going to commit suicide
and this fitness thing is whatmade them start believing in
themselves.
Or that woman or man thatneeded to lose 50 pounds I'm
like there's only one.
Or men that needed to lose 50pounds.
I'm like there's only one.
Like if I get one story andthen 10 million DVDs later and

(50:23):
like however many programs itled up to that, I'm like.
So for me, I always focused onjust like one person.
So whenever I got on stage,like, I connect with people in a
way and I can say this that noone else that gets on stage does

(50:44):
, because, like, I treateveryone as an individual and
like this is probably a littlelike people might think it's
like foo-foo or whatever.
But when I teach I've taught20,000 people before and I walk
out on that stage, the firstthing I say is I'm like this is
not my workout.
Like, obviously I know I can doit, I start moving and I get
the common denominator of energythat's in that room.

(51:06):
I rarely ever create a workoutbefore I go live on stage.
I do it all off the top of myhead because I'm like I have no
idea who's going to show up.

Speaker 3 (51:15):
You're reading the room.
I'm reading the room.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
And I do it off the top of my head and I have my
music.
My music is like set.
So I've always connected to thepeople, like always, always,
always.
It was like and you know that's, you know, my grandfather was a
pastor Like I would goliterally on a Saturday.
We would wake up, we would goto the farmer's market.
We would fill our his stationwagon you remember station wagon

(51:41):
.
He'd fill up his station wagonwith like bread that was going
to expire.
We would take it to, like thepoorer neighborhoods.
He would get out to take hismegaphone, he would start
preaching and like anybody towalk by people who had been in
jail, like he's, like I just sawhim like connecting with people
and I'm like, so that was thefoundation of where I came from,
like how I was inspired to bein front of people.

(52:03):
So it was.
I always took a step back andbe like.
I always say, like it's notabout me, like obviously I can
do this, like I'm in front ofthe camera, it's about you.
So I always connected to thepeople wow.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
Um well, talking about connecting with the people
, you know are connecting with awhole different, newer audience
, I know and I want to hear thistransition from the guy that we
all knew from the infomercialsnow getting on to a bodybuilding
stage.
How did even that transpire?

Speaker 1 (52:35):
man.
So for about 11 years straightI I played tennis, and so it's
going somewhere.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
You know, y'all know by now, like I have a story and
the story has a start.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
So I was obsessed with playing tennis to the point
where I was so obsessed with itand I played so much that I
just, you know, I met like tonsof people.
One is Patrick Maradaglou, whois Serena Williams' coach,
became friends with SerenaWilliams.
She's so amazing.
I was obsessed with tennis tothe point where I played so much

(53:08):
that my shoulders startedhurting because I was doing it
in addition to my fitness, andI'm getting a little older and
I'm just like, oh my gosh, youknow whatever and you're
competitive.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
I'm lean, I'm lean too.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
Yeah, you know whatever and you're competitive
and I'm lean competitive yeah,like I would.
I got to the point where Iwould show up to a grand slam
tournament and there would be aplayer that was like hey, sean,
you want to come out and hit?
And I would look at scott likegotcha bitch scott said to me
one day.
He was like he was like uh, he,he was a professional soccer
player, so like he, he looks atsomebody who's starting to play

(53:39):
tennis at 32.
He's like you know how hard itis to play at that level.
Like he was like, if it wastrack and field, yeah, different
.
Like, of course.
He was like have you seen myvideos?
Yeah, and so he goes.
I said I said I'm gonna befriends with serena one day.
He's like.
He was like no, you're not.
I was like I'm gonna hit withher one day.
He's like no, you're not.
So when I did, and now I'm atthese tournaments and I'm like

(54:00):
I'm going to go hit on centercourt, he's like all right.
So, anyway, I had to say that Iplayed tennis literally for 11
years straight, but also doingmy fitness stuff, and I got to a
point where my left shoulderjust started to hurt, but kind
of like we were talking aboutbefore the podcast started.
You're like, eh, I'll workaround it, I know how to stretch

(54:23):
it.
You know, you do all thesethings, good old stretch.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
I'm like.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
I'll run around my backhand, I'll just hit a
forehand.
I'm fast, I can cover this Tothe point where, like, I
couldn't even reach to grab acup out of the cover with my
left arm and then so I got stemcells.
I was like, oh, let me do somestem cells anyway.
My shoulder never healed untilthe point where I went to my
doctor.
He did an mri.

(54:48):
He was like you have a bonespur that tore your rotator cuff
and a labrum tear.
He was like there's, you haveto get surgery.
He was like I don't, I preferyou not to, but you have to get
surgery.
He was like I prefer you not to, but you have to get surgery.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
Shoulders are tough too, because you don't get a lot
of blood in there and so theydon't heal themselves.

Speaker 1 (55:08):
But I still had to teach classes.
So then I had to do livestreaming classes.
So then now I'm creating all ofmy workouts around this
shoulder to the point where Icouldn't even work out.
I couldn't play tennis.
I started to like, didn't?
My stress level became really,really high.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
And then I started getting injuries.
Yeah, then I started to.

Speaker 1 (55:28):
I was moving every day, still exercising, but I was
gaining weight purely from thestress, and so I just made a
decision with my doctor.
I was like he was like let'sjust do the surgery.
He was like this is cool, thisis in 2022, february of 2022, so
this was two years ago gotsurgery, got to physical therapy
two weeks after surgery.

(55:49):
I'm in physical therapy andthere's this woman in there and
she is like her body was insaneand I'm I'm going to say this as
a joke I'm gay and I'm lookingat her like who the fuck?
I'm like this is the only timewhere I started to question my
sexuality.

(56:10):
I'm like what?
So I'm like with the headphysical therapist in there, he
had introduced me to her.
He's like if I'm not here, youknow she's going to work with
you.
And I just said to her, I saidto him I was like do you think
she would train me?
And they all thought I was likebeing crazy, because they're
like you're Shaunti, like whatdo you need to train her for?
And I'm like he was like askher.

(56:30):
So she started walking by and Iwas like hey, kristen, will you
train me?
She was like that was easy.
So I met with her the next dayor like a couple days later, and
she was like when I was thesummer of my eighth grade year,

(56:51):
after her eighth grade year,like that summer she was like I
bought Insanity and that was.
She was like you know, I wasnot happy with my body as such a
young kid and she was like thatwas the reason that I got into
fitness, which then, you know,she played sports and then she
went to college and she was likethat was insanity, was kind of
like her inception to health,and so now she's a physical
therapist and she's a doctor andyou know a lot of that came

(57:13):
from like her being inspired byme.
It's like full circle.
She's like 15 years younger thanme, which is crazy.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
Isn't it great.

Speaker 1 (57:20):
Yeah, so then then you know, I did physical therapy
with her and then she startedtraining me and we're in the gym
.
Like I didn't go to the gym, Iworked out at home, like you
know I was.
You know I was the fitness guyand I lifted weights maybe three
times a month, just like youknow good I'm not hating people
that you know I'm like, butthat's what I did.

(57:42):
I was like more body weight intennis and so I started going to
the gym and I'm in the gym andI remember I couldn't even lift
15 pounds with a shoulder pressbecause my shoulder was so
everything hurt, it was justpainful and she was like she's
good and as we're doing this,she's basically taking me back
to college, to my kinesiologydays, and there's nothing like

(58:06):
learning about your body throughan injury while actually doing
it.
You know exactly.
You just like.
So you're, you're um, digestingso much more of the science
because you have to heal, andespecially somebody like me who
loves science and I have adegree in sports science.

Speaker 3 (58:23):
Makes you do more research too, because you're
like what can I do to heal this?
What exercises can I do?
It really makes you dive in.

Speaker 1 (58:30):
And she's the kind of trainer because she's a
physical therapist.
She's like twisting my body asI'm doing exercises, and she was
like you're off here, whatever.
So anyway.
So I said to her about maybeseven months after training,
cause I go, I'm good, now I'mgoing to the gym and I'm seeing
all these guys and I see all theand girls too, and I see all

(58:52):
these these pictures on the wall, people on stage and I was like
I want to compete.
And she was like are you so?
Before she said yes cause I gotreally like respect to her,
cause she, she's a, she's a IFPbefore and before she said yes,
she was like okay, there's a fewthings we have to talk about.
Before she was like the stagebody that's not going to be your

(59:13):
real body, so don't getattached to that body.
She was like you're going to gothrough this thing called prep
and she was like I need you todocument the time where it feels
good for you, where you cansustain that forever.
She was like that's the bodythat you're going to have.
She's like once you get pastthat, you're not going to be
able to have that body everysingle day.
So she really she was like.

(59:34):
So real with me, to be like thisis a sport.
And she was like and I know youlove being ripped and she was
like when you get that ripped,it's part of the sport.
So she was like.
So we had a coupleconversations about it and she
was like I just want to makesure she's like, because a lot
of people get into it and itmesses with their mindset when
they have to get that lean andthen they, you know, have to

(59:55):
bulk up again and the wholething anyway.
But one of the things that Iloved about her first of all,
she helped me develop my newestprogram, dig deeper.
I had to pay it back to herlike she's in it.
She helped me develop it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
It was just amazing the full circle for her.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Yeah, and now she's in my workout oh wow and then in
this the split two of myworkout, like she's actually
teaching and you know.
But I had to do that because Iwanted people to know.
Like you, people would alwaysbe like why do you have a
trainer?
Why do you have a trainer?
Why would a trainer need atrainer?

Speaker 3 (01:00:24):
and now they know I'm like every gold medalist has a
coach you know what I mean, likeyou, know you need the mental,
you need someone who's drivingyou right like yeah, yeah,
that's the best.

Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
All have coaches yeah so coaches need coaches.

Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
Even coaches need coaches.
Somebody's inspiring you.
You know so.
But the the other thing I lovedabout her she's like but I
can't take you on this journey.
She's like one, I'm a female.
And she was like, yeah, thereare women who coach men.
She was like, but she was likeI, I have the right person for
you.
And so she introduced me toJustin Horrell, who's now my

(01:00:57):
coach, and that's the otherthing I loved about her and I
for me.
I love about this like there'ssuch a respect for when people
who are really serious aboutthis, they just respect other
people's processes and they want.
They're like, if they want youto succeed, they're like you
have to go get the best thingthat's going to work for you.
And so I started coaching.

(01:01:20):
I was at been an athlete underJustin from January of 2023.
And so we did my first showAugust 2023.
And it's so funny, a coupleweeks ago, he told me I was like
you know, so what'd you think?
Like you know, when I said Iwanted to compete and you said,
yes, for me to be your athlete,he's like I'm not gonna lie, I

(01:01:41):
was pretty nervous.
He's like when I got Sean T,he's like I gotta get that
backup.

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
I gotta get all these things, he never gotta do all
these things.

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
He never told me, though, like he never told me I
was like, I never did bulking,but I'm also at the film through
this and like all of the thething.
But the cool thing that priorto like being a coach under him
is I, or being an athlete underhim is I, and this is like
something that a lot of mendon't like to talk about.
So, you know, at the time, I'm46 now, so I was like 44 ish,

(01:02:12):
maybe 43 if you think of it whenI first started this and I
actually wasn't building muscleas much as I wanted to and my
erections weren't as hard asthey should have been, and then
so, like you know, she was alsorunning.
It's like, hey, maybe you needto go testosterone therapy, like
this kind of this stuff worksso I got my blood work done and
and my my doctor did a fullhormonal panel.

(01:02:34):
So that was it was really coolto like, yeah, oh my gosh, I
feel rejuvenated and alive again.
So I had, you know, being ableto build muscle and feel better
and, you know, feel better.
You know it's a real thing thatpeople don't talk about.
They're afraid to talk knowit's a real thing that people
don't talk about.
They're afraid to talk about it.
It was a real thing and so thatwas.
You know.
She was like you're already,like an energetic and really

(01:02:58):
positive person.
She was like you know, takingtestosterone in the right way is
actually going to make you feelbetter.
She's like it's going to bringout your personality and it did
help me feel like reallyyouthful.

Speaker 3 (01:03:08):
The libido, the life force.
Yeah, let's go Kick to a step,let's go.

Speaker 2 (01:03:13):
And how old were you when you first went on TIT?

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
So it was two years ago, which was I was 43.
So I was right before I was 44.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
You probably feel like a whole new mind.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
Yeah, listen, I feel like an 18 year old dude, like I
feel amazing.
You know, and you know thething is shout out to women
because they talk about hormonesand hormone levels and how it
affects all this stuff.
Yeah, but like we guys don'ttalk about it.
Or when you do talk abouttestosterone especially somebody

(01:03:43):
like me who came from fitnesspeople now see me put on muscle
this is before I even startedthe bodybuilding thing and
they're like, oh, like you'rejust on testosterone, like they
don't understand, like they tryto take away all the work you
put in.

Speaker 3 (01:03:56):
They try to take away the work you know and it's so
annoying because of the work.

Speaker 1 (01:04:00):
That's ignorance, yeah it's ignorance, but also it
comes from a lot of people whoaren't even committed to the
nutrition or fitness in the gym.
Amen, so like for me.
My response to them is howabout you?
If you learn commitment, you'llunderstand why you're not even
committed to to your ownlifestyle and you're hating.

(01:04:20):
But whatever that's, it is whatit is.
So anyway, so I, I did, we, youknow, we did my first kind of
like mini build into my show andit was just like such a
fantastic experience.

Speaker 3 (01:04:33):
I think this sport is so freaking amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
If you have, in my opinion, if you have the right
team behind you and people whoactually care about your overall
well-being, and like a coachthat I have and a trainer like
Kristen that like put theirathletes first, that's like.
You know, this is about you.
It's.
It's a really, really greatexperience.
Is it tough that I have a?

(01:04:57):
That I've cried my eyes outthree weeks pre-show, not
because I was nervous to be onstage, because I'm like I'm
hungry, mind you, I'm.
I was still eating more than Iate when I wasn't doing this and
I I'm like I'm hungry.
Like Scott came home one dayand I was just like I'm sorry.
He walked into the bedroom andI just like bawled my eyes out.

(01:05:17):
But here's the crazy thing, andagain it's going to be a little
deep.
I remember, you know people askme like you know, why are you
crying?
Like why is it so tough?
And I'm like because the lasttime I experienced not wanting
to give up, like not giving upwasn't an option, was when I was
molested.
Wow, you know, I was just likeso emotional about it, because

(01:05:41):
when you're in it, I'm like Idon't want to die.
And so now I'm going into theshow and I'm like giving up at
this point, at weeks ago, is notan option.
No way now.
If it was just that I wouldlike suck it up.
I'm like, oh, this is hard, butwhen psych, psychology and you
said like you still deal withsome of the stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:05:58):
You're still doing it and you're still.
It's still pushing you anddriving you at points, those
triggers still come up.

Speaker 1 (01:06:03):
So it came up.
I was just like because I wasactually I have my third
therapist and actually he wasthe one that really was like you
know, what are you feeling Like?
What does it feel like?
And I was like it feels likewhen I was molested and I wanted
to kill myself.
But I was like this is, there'sno option, because I don't like
giving up.
And then I went to the gym thenext day and Justin was training
me and he was like you feelmuch better today, don't you

(01:06:26):
after that, cry?
I'm like oh, my god, I feellike a brand new person, like I
just kind of like so you know,that was the toughest moment.
Uh, three weeks out, and thenyou know, people are like you
know, are you nervous to get onstage?
I'm like for me, I'm like justget me to the lights.
Like that is my that's yourtime, that's my home.
I was like the work leading upand, and you know, I never

(01:06:48):
realized, realized, like, I saidlike am I worthy enough to do
this?
But you know, you guys arepretty intimidating, you know,
like, and I, you know, which wasamazing for me, the day before
my show they like Saturday wasthe MPC show and Friday was the
Texas Pro.
So I'm sitting in the audiencewatching these, you know, uh,
classic physique pros and I'mjust like, why the hell am I

(01:07:12):
even going on stage tomorrow,you know, and but it was also
like really, really inspiringand so I did really well my
first show man, I did.
I made it, you know, and I gotlike five first place, two
seconds, one third a littlefirst time.

Speaker 2 (01:07:28):
Did you know what this that he went into the
memory box went into the memorybox.
Like I finished, I say I taughtI placed top no, I won five
yeah, I won five.

Speaker 1 (01:07:37):
I won five, you know I, but you know it was fun, yeah
because I'm just like man, likeyou know, a couple of them were
in the novice category.

Speaker 3 (01:07:44):
But, like in you, know, I did, I did really well
was there more pressure on youbecause you're sean?
Yeah right because you've beenin this fitness world and
everybody already knows who youare.
Right like everybody kind ofknows you expect.
So it's like, is that morepressure on you because of?

Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
that it's interesting , but justin didn't allow me to
go there like he was.
Just like you're just anotherperson.
I love it, just do that.
In addition, that what comeswith being Shanti and somebody
who literally lives and breathesmotivating and inspiring people
, the return is like you nowhave a community of people who

(01:08:21):
are rooting for you.
So I did not really feel thatpressure.
It was more of like I felt likean abundance of love and
support, you know.
But I mean there was like alittle nervousness because, like
you go and I'm like I don'tknow who's going to be on this
stage next to me, you know, andthat you know I'm also at the
time I was, you know, 45, soit's just kind of like you know,

(01:08:43):
and like you know, those guyslook so amazing.
You know, I'm just like holycrap, but I did really well.
So, you know, in four weeks,look so amazing.
You know, I'm just like holycrap, but I did really well.
So you know, in four weeks I'mgoing in the nationals, so let's
see what happens.

Speaker 2 (01:08:54):
I want to talk about that.
But what did you learn fromyour first journey, doing your
first prep?

Speaker 1 (01:09:30):
no-transcript.
You know what I mean and itcompletely, like I said, like in
my later points, in my prep Iwas eating more food than I ate
before I was doing bodybuilding.
So you know, one of the thingsthat I was able to help develop
with my new program is like eatpeople, like don't be afraid to

(01:09:53):
eat, don't be afraid to buildmuscle, and one of the biggest
things that was I mean, I knewthis but one of the biggest
things that really helped mycommunity is especially women
who say like I don't want tolift weights because I'm going
to get bulky.
My community is especiallywomen who say like I don't want
to lift weights because I'mgonna get bulky.
I'm like if you, if you havesomething, if you have a serum

(01:10:14):
in your body where you can getbulky, like I'm gonna make you a
billionaire, because every manis going to want that, you know.
So it was helping, like helpingwomen not be afraid to eat a
little more put on some muscleand like.
Actually, I tell people, like,shape your body how your body's
supposed to be shaped, don'tshape your body to because you
want to look like the bikinimodel on the front of the

(01:10:35):
magazine.
So it's been really helpfulthere.
And then personally, um, Idon't know if it's necessarily
something that I learned, but itreignited my love for fitness
because, to be quite honest withyou, I was jaded with fitness
for that reason of like.
It's always about losing weight, it's always about like.
It's always like before andafter picture.

Speaker 3 (01:10:55):
And nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
Yeah, right, well, I have a.

Speaker 1 (01:10:59):
I actually have a quote in my book a truth bomb
this is nothing looks as good asconfidence.
Feels, and so that's the otherthing.
Feels, and so that's the otherthing.
Do you know, being 45 and now46 years old, like how I feel
better than I did at 35, 25?
I feel like I look better, I'mstronger, I have like my libido
is good so it was just likereally being able to embrace

(01:11:22):
that and also again reignitingmy love for fitness, and like
literally being a fan.
You know, like you know, I'mhere at the layer I see, like
all these guys, man, I'm likedamn.
Like you know, I'm like I'm likea kid in a candy store, I'm
like a kid at a concert where Isee like all of these people and
I like watch these competitorsand I just have like this

(01:11:46):
incredible amount of respect forthem, like I kind of always did
, because I'm like you can't getlike that without doing hard
work.
But having gone through theprocess and now have it, went
through a really incrediblebuild stage and now going to
nationals, it's just like you,just like it's just like a
different respect and love forthe sport, but it's also like
selfishly, like this issomething I'm doing for me, yeah

(01:12:08):
.

Speaker 2 (01:12:08):
The psychological element of things is massive in
everything right, but inbodybuilding it's such a because
the better you look, the worseyou feel right.

Speaker 1 (01:12:19):
That's so funny, it's true.

Speaker 3 (01:12:22):
You look like.

Speaker 2 (01:12:23):
He-Man, but you feel like Barbie, right.
So from you being lean yourentire life to then do your
first bulk, I have a saying uh,to get in shape, you got to get
out of shape, right.
So for you to get to that nextlevel, you've got to lose that
skinny face.
You got to push yourself upwith calories to get to that

(01:12:45):
next level.
I've been there force feedingmyself, setting my alarm clock
in the middle of the night.

Speaker 1 (01:12:51):
Leaning over the counter.

Speaker 3 (01:12:52):
Oh my gosh, Tell them about the ketchup blended mix
that you do.

Speaker 2 (01:12:56):
Well, I was kind of renowned because I didn't have
an appetite and I somehow fellin this world right.
I used to blend chicken breastand rice and donut just as a way
of just getting it down.
Two, three times a day.
A little ketchup in there butthat's the mindset I conditioned
myself.
Oh, it tasted great at the time, yeah, exactly at the time.
But I conditioned myself as ifchicken soup right.

(01:13:20):
And that's the mind games youplay when you're at any level,
right.
Are you trying to get toanother level?
How did you get through theplateau of being so lean, being
known as shanty shredded, tothen get in the bodybuilding and
then see your physique changeto a little fluffier side, see
your face fill up a bit.

(01:13:40):
How hard is that for you?

Speaker 1 (01:13:43):
guys.
So you have to understand likeI told you a story about I'm not
leaving the house but when Igained weight when I was, when I
went from 178 pounds to 228pounds, like one of the things
is that my face got really big.
That was like literally one ofthe things that I was just like
I need to lose weight because Ihate this.
So now I go to a bulking phaseand my face starts getting it's

(01:14:07):
the first to go normally I ammiserable.
I'm miserable, miserable, tears,miserable.
I'm like I'm ugly, I'm fatagain, like I go to the gym, you
know, and my coach is likeyou're fine, like you still.
He still called me a pretty boy, made me feel good, you know,
but the so it was terrible.

(01:14:27):
But what was really crazy iswhen I started to.
This is so funny, so when Istarted to lean out during this
cut, I'm like man, I missed myfull face.
So then I started.
You guys are going to laugh.

Speaker 2 (01:14:43):
Your coach is nodding in the back.

Speaker 1 (01:14:46):
So you guys are going to laugh even more.
So I'm like now my face wasgetting like and I was like I'm
going to get some filler up inthis jaw.
Oh, I know you like that, so Idid I was like, let me just, I'm
like I'm gonna lose some moreweight, let me get a little
filler in here.
And so my coach has anotherclient and she does it in her
office and I was like you know,just, I was like I still want to

(01:15:09):
look, you know masculine, butlike you know, whatever so it
was like it's crazy how you'relike no, I kind of like my face
like it's, it's good and so, um,yeah, this is a mind game,
right yeah, it's a mind game andwhen you're going through it
for the first time you're likeshit is, is this it, this it?

Speaker 2 (01:15:29):
But once you start, as you mentioned, you start
doing the diet and you startgetting into the nitty gritty of
things and you start seeing theskeleton face.
For me, my face would get sore,sucked in.
I would come down from 260.
I was lean at 260, but my facewas like Augusta from Charlie
and the Chocolate Factory.
And then my face would get sosucked in that literally I had

(01:15:52):
sores in the side of my mouthfrom even with chewing gum I
catch my tongue.
It was so sucked in.
I kind of like this happymedium of not having that full
face but kind of having it'skind of like this good looking
face you see, one thing I usedto do is to do when I was in my
off-season.
I used to either have a beardbecause I have two personalities

(01:16:14):
to flex.
Flex Lewis shaves his beard,it's the stripe before going on
stage, that's the only time Iwould shave my beard, but then
in the off-season I used to havethis pinstripe.
What's it called?
Pinstripe Like?

Speaker 1 (01:16:24):
a chin strap.
A like a chin strap and in myhead, in my head it'd give me
the contour, the contours thatallowed me to have that thin
face it didn't work.

Speaker 2 (01:16:33):
It does not work at all, to be honest.
But, um, was there any mindgames that you played with the,
you know, with your mind, tojust get through them stages, as
it was your first prep, or wasit something you just you and
justin relied on?

Speaker 1 (01:16:43):
no, no, I do kind of I'm gonna answer that, but I
want to go back a little bit,because I was talking a lot
about my face.
But going back to that fluffyphase, like I remember when I
had to go film my first workout,when I was like like close to
220 pounds and you know, I hadmy shirt off and I feel like I
look terrible.

(01:17:04):
And I sent Justin a picture.
He's like yeah, man, like lookat the muscles.
And I get all these people like, dude, you look so good.
So it is like a totalpsychological weight, like a
number on the scale cancompletely make or break your
day.
But you have to like get out ofthat and like look at your
yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:17:21):
But I just say congratulations, You're the body
below.

Speaker 1 (01:17:29):
Yeah, it's just like, and you know I've like, I
actually like that body.
You know I'm like, I've learnedto like the, the bulk body, it
feels good, but you know you'restill around and you're still
lifting and you know I still gothit on a little bit you know
I'm saying you know, but um, Iforget the other question you, I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:17:41):
I love it, I love it, I love it.
I think it was the mind game.

Speaker 1 (01:17:43):
Oh yes, yeah, no, I actually um, because being in
commercial fitness and having toshoot so many workouts, one of
the most unhealthy things I'veever done is when I was shooting
my asylum workouts is I wouldbe like want to be so ripped
that I would like take alaxative.
I would like do all this likeyou know, stay in the sauna.

(01:18:05):
I would do all this likeridiculous stuff that I was just
like, when I go through this,like I'm not doing that, I'm.
I have a coach, like I fullyrelied on him, like I didn't
fight him on anything.
I was like I'm going to do whathe says to do to a T and then I
do rely on him and my husband,scott and Kristen, for the
emotional support you know oflike, for the emotional support

(01:18:27):
you know of like.
Do I look good?
Like the days you wake up flat,like I was just like man, like
I don't have any muscles anymore, and then he feeds me and I'm
like do you see how I look today?
So you know, you kind of gothrough all that.
But I actually was thinking ofsomething.

Speaker 2 (01:18:45):
I did blend my food one time and I was like never
again.

Speaker 1 (01:18:47):
I was like this is terrible, Like chicken soup
making pretend it's something isnot.

Speaker 2 (01:18:50):
I'll take you under my wing.
I'll take you under my wing.
I'll show you how to do itcorrectly, my friend.

Speaker 1 (01:18:56):
The truck has a lot of ketchup.
I'll taste anything.
I'll taste anything.

Speaker 2 (01:18:59):
But going back to the main, four weeks out that chase
for that pro card was so close.

Speaker 1 (01:19:07):
How were you feeling, my friend, that chase for that
pro card was so close.
How are you feeling, my friend?
I actually, literally just acouple days ago, I started to
have that miserable feeling ofjust being tired because my
calories are still over 3,000calories.
I still have a hard timefinishing my food at the end of
the day, but it's just such lowfat and my workouts are still

(01:19:31):
intense and you know I'm onlydoing 25 minutes of cardio, but
just that.
You know I was up at uppersover 5 000 calories, so like
that's a lot of what it's almostequivalent to like someone
else's full day of meals beinggone you know, so I just you
know.
You know, I had a refeed mealhere in Vegas last night.

(01:19:51):
I don't think I stopped eatingfor like 45 seconds at the table
.

Speaker 2 (01:19:53):
What did you get?

Speaker 1 (01:19:54):
Oh man, we went to Komodo.
I got like the Korean friedchicken.
I got the surf and turf rice.
I got the spicy edamame.
I remember everything I got.
I had like one of the egg rollsthat Justin had.
I had a couple rolls.

Speaker 3 (01:20:07):
It makes it so much more satisfying, right Like it's
that much more delicious.
Yeah, when you haven't had it,I tasted every single feeling of
everything.

Speaker 1 (01:20:19):
I tasted it.
So that was good.
But you know we're back ontrack now.
I felt good when I came to thegym today.
I did a back and I felt good Iwas like the gym today I got, I
got it.
I felt good.
I was like, oh, maybe I coulddo this, maybe I'm good, uh.
But now I go into thisheadspace you know, obviously,
being an athlete, having donethis before, being in fitness

(01:20:39):
for a long time, like for me nowit's just like, just get me to
the lights like I will do any.
I don't care what it is and youknow, I'm, I'm pretty sure it's
gonna get.
Obviously it's gonna gettougher because the closer you
get, things start getting tough.
But you know, I, I'm, I love itnow, like I've, I've done it
once and I feel it.

(01:21:00):
I'm sure if you ask me after Iget my pro guard, you could be
like, so how was those last fourweeks?
And I'm like it sucked, but fornow, right now, I feel better
than I did the last time.

Speaker 2 (01:21:09):
Good.
Well, we're going to wish youall the very best.
My friend, thank you.
And in closing I want tomention, obviously you are a dad
of two.
Yes, I want to know what it'slike prepping in the house with
two young children, with candyand chocolates, because I knew I
went through them preps too.
Tell me all about that.

Speaker 1 (01:21:27):
Dude, you are a dad.
Yo, so it is amazing.
First of all, my two boys areliterally.
They're just so incredible.

Speaker 2 (01:21:35):
You're a great dad, I see that.

Speaker 1 (01:21:36):
And to kind of full circle this.
You know, I didn't really havea dad.
I never met my biologicalfather.
My stepfather molested me right, like I never had a dad.
So doing this, this, likeseeing me, do I never push
anything fitness on him?
I never ever said like you haveto do this, you have to do this
, like, but they see it and theywant to flex with me and

(01:22:00):
they'll sit down and eat and I'mlike papa, like is this going
to get me muscles?
Like I don't want to eat this,but is this going to get me
muscles?

Speaker 2 (01:22:06):
I'm like, yeah, and they're like okay, uh, how much
of it do I?

Speaker 1 (01:22:07):
have to eat this, but is this going to get me muscles
?
I'm like, yeah, and they'relike, okay, how much of it do I
have to eat?
You know, but they still have.
You know, they still get the,they still have their candy.
They love their treats and thereare some times where they'll be
like Papa, can we have, youknow, chicken fingers and French
fries and smash burger, andthen, like they don't eat it all
and then throw it away.

(01:22:31):
And that one fry, oh yeah, likeit's actually like four fries,
and you're like I'm like thisain't gonna do nothing to me, I
can burn, I can just go run for15 minutes and burn this off and
you gotta throw it in the trash.
I'm like, oh, my god, that'sthe, that's, that's the really I
can't have anything in my house.

Speaker 2 (01:22:41):
I can't have it in my house at all well, wait till
you have kids, my friend,they'll be in there, yeah, but I
love, I absolutely love being adad and my husband, scott, is
just an amazing dad and it is.

Speaker 1 (01:22:52):
I mean I just feel so blessed and you know, growing
up gay, like you know, in the70s, 80s, like you don't even
think that was possible, andbeing through everything I've
been through in my life, youknow I just am a very like,
connected father.

Speaker 3 (01:23:11):
And you know it just feels really great.
I was gonna ask that, like howgratifying is that to you know
have the family environment thatyou choose, that you really
wanted, you know being thatfather, that you know to to to
them, that you didn't have?

Speaker 1 (01:23:21):
yeah, right, you know , sometimes I I cry alone.
Yeah, you know become a long wayyeah, like you know, I look at
these little boys and I'm justlike you know when people say,
like the love for your child islike something you've never
experienced before and like youknow, like you love them when
they're first born but it's likekind of survival mode, right.

(01:23:41):
But as they start getting olderand you start seeing their
personality and then you havelike the nature versus nurture,
because we had kids viasurrogacy, so like we had an egg
donor and both of scott and Ieach fertilized an egg.
So they're they're they're ourkids, you know.
so you see, like like sandersthe one that I made and he is,

(01:24:02):
there's so many things about methat he's like I'm like, oh my
gosh, this is crazy and there's,but then, like there's so many
things about him that is verymuch like Scott.
You would think theirpersonalities are crossed Silas,
who Scott made, is wild andcrazy like me, and Sandra's
super chill.
So it's like all of thosethings come into play.

(01:24:23):
It's literally the mostincredible thing.

Speaker 3 (01:24:27):
And it's like another level, another step in becoming
in in manhood, right, like it'ssuch a, it's such a big thing.
I've been in this place whereI'm, I'm in that place and I'm,
you know, I'm like pulled thegoalie with my girl and we're,
we're trying, and I'm like inthis place of like, all right,
every single father that I'veever met, you know, have all

(01:24:47):
told me start having kids rightaway.
It's the greatest thing you'llever experience, you know, and
it took me a long time to getthere, but I'm at that place now
and it's good to hear.

Speaker 1 (01:24:58):
Well, it's the hardest thing you'll ever do and
the most rewarding thing you'llever do it's you know, and I
don't think you're ever ready, Iagree.
Like you're just ever ready.
I agree Like there's no, you'renot, you're just, you're just
never ready.

Speaker 2 (01:25:10):
It'll happen in God's time.

Speaker 1 (01:25:13):
And you know, some weeks are like amazing, and the
next week you're like what iswrong with this kid?

Speaker 3 (01:25:19):
I'm like is this person going to be a serial
killer, like you know, like youknow?

Speaker 1 (01:25:32):
it's just of thing.
So, but you grow so much as aman, bro, like you, grow like a
father who is intentional andconnected and gives their kids
attention, like you grow so muchbecause you find yourself being
like yo.
In order for me to lead byexample, I literally have to do
the things that I'm telling himto do.
You know, so it's, it's, it'sjust a wonderful, it's hard I'm
not gonna sit here and be likeit's all roses, like scott
always says.

(01:25:53):
He's like why couldn't they justbe born at five years old,
because that's when it startedto get fun, and I'm like, yeah,
but all the work we put in forthe first five years is the
reason they are the way they are, and so I do.

Speaker 2 (01:26:04):
I do want to mention this on the spin of you know
work done.
You guys really tried hard forthe kids.
What is it?
You went through 12 attempts.

Speaker 1 (01:26:16):
Yeah, we went through 12 attempts.

Speaker 2 (01:26:19):
Five egg donors yeah and $500,000.

Speaker 1 (01:26:22):
So like when we you know we never tell our kids that
.
But when people are like do youlove your kids, we're like you,
damn right, never tell our kidsthat.
But when people are like do youlove your kids, we're like you,
damn right we love our kids,like you know, like we are, you
know and I always make the jokeI'm like we're gay, like we
couldn't have them by mistake.
You know what I mean Like wewanted to do this.
So we are like fully committed.

(01:26:52):
And so I can't wait till they'relike when they get their first
job and they're like, you know,papa, I want to buy a house and
like this is so hard.
I'm like, well, we spent fivehundred thousand dollars on you,
so I know what it's like.
But yeah, it was tough, it wasreally tough.
Like you know, miscarriages,different doctors, you know, but
my doctor said the most amazingthing and this will help you,
wanting to be a father, the kidor kids or person or people that
are supposed to come into thisworld, are going to come into
this world, like if it happenedfive years earlier.

(01:27:15):
In a way, I'm like I'm glad itdidn't, it took us five years
Because, like Silas and Sander,I'm like so happy that they are
my kids, you know.
So it's tough for a lot ofpeople, but if you don't have to
rush the process, and then somepeople you know they adopt or
they, you know things like that.
So there's many different waysto help, you know, build a
family, but hopefully you can,you know, have some offspring of

(01:27:36):
your own.

Speaker 3 (01:27:38):
I've pulled the goalie.
We're trying you know wherewe've lifted in God's hands and
you know, I guess we're neverready, but I do feel that I have
reached a spiritual level, thatI am ready.
Yeah, right, um, and it's takenme a long time to get there, so
I appreciate that, yeah and Iwill say too for me to see a
good father and, like flex right, it's really inspiring to me to

(01:28:00):
see a good father and it's Ithink it's probably one of the
best compliments you could getas a man, right thank you bro
yeah, but it said you know, Iwas saying like you're never
ready, but you're always ready.

Speaker 2 (01:28:10):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:28:11):
Especially somebody who wants it you know, so, and
you, you're gonna, you're gonnabe, you did insanity man, You're
running for the crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:28:18):
I love it.
I love how we tied it rightback.
No, you know, sean, okay, Imean no.
Well, man, listen, it's been anabsolute pleasure.
J-rock.
Is there anything you want toask?

Speaker 3 (01:28:35):
lastly, before we jump off no, I'm excited to see
the journey continue and,honestly, when I did see that
you were jumping into thisfitness world, to me it was like
makes sense, like he'scontinuing on this journey
forward and look forward toseeing it in the future.

Speaker 1 (01:28:47):
I really appreciate you guys.
Like seriously, I love it.
I love coming to this gym.
It's like literally aplayground.
It inspired me to one day openup my own gym because, I never
really had desire to do itbecause I did at home fitness,
and so my next goal is I'm likeman, we need something like this
in az like this is this feelslike really good don't worry

(01:29:08):
watch, watch out, he's comingafter you.

Speaker 3 (01:29:09):
No, no, no no no.

Speaker 1 (01:29:10):
I'm going to you know .
Look, I'm wearing the shirt.

Speaker 2 (01:29:13):
He is.

Speaker 1 (01:29:13):
I'm like y'all need to come here.

Speaker 2 (01:29:14):
This should be your destination.
I think that's just a whiteflag, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:29:20):
No, I will plug your gym Like it is sick.

Speaker 2 (01:29:30):
It is like gym I've ever been to.
What I'm looking forward topersonally is when I get back
out of this and I'm back ontrack that I'm not doing an
insanity workout.

Speaker 3 (01:29:32):
I don't know if you could either anymore.
I got him doing Pilates, though, right, yes, I got him doing
Pilates.

Speaker 2 (01:29:37):
It's a step.
Okay, it's a step.
It took my wife a year and ahalf.
It took him one conversation.

Speaker 3 (01:29:43):
He made fun of me at first.

Speaker 2 (01:29:44):
I did, I did, I did.
But listen, I'm excited for usto get that workout in.
We've spoken about my friend,but we'll wait until you're a
little fluffy after the show.

Speaker 1 (01:29:56):
Yeah, let me get to that 240 again, let me get to my
240 again.
Let's go, all right.

Speaker 2 (01:30:02):
But we want to wish you nothing but the best.
You're an incredible personthat everybody loves to see you
at the gym Every one of my staff, every one of the guests that
have bumped into you.
You have nothing but time, umand and um.
We hear all the stories againUm, everybody comes to me to to
tell me who the good and the badpeople are, and you've been
nothing but a gracious personEvery time you stepped into this

(01:30:24):
gym.
And we love having no VIPs athome, but and we love having our
VIPs around.
But what I love most about myVIPs and people who have, you
know, incredible achievements,who step foot in Europe.
When fans come up to them, theystop and they talk.

Speaker 1 (01:30:39):
Yeah, man.

Speaker 2 (01:30:40):
And that's you to the Sean T.

Speaker 1 (01:30:42):
Yeah, you're good.
No, excuse me.
No, I love meeting people.
I always have time.
You know.
Obviously, there are days whenit gets close to prep where you
put at my gym like you just putyour headphones on and you go in
.
But I love that's what I loveit Like.
I love to inspire people.

(01:31:02):
I love to hear the stories.
People are like I know youheard this story before.
I'm like you're a completelydifferent person, even if, even
if your story is similar, likeyour process to get to where you
got is so different.
So, yeah, thank you so much.
Like I just I love it.
I love talking to people.

Speaker 2 (01:31:15):
Your staff is great, so we love you too, and you.
You said a sentence that I liveby at the beginning of the
podcast treat people how youwant to be treated yourself, and
that's that's you, my friend.
So I think, uh, from Mr VegasDamself, j-rock Sean T, straight
up, there we are out.

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Trauma to Triumph | Shaun T | Straight Outta The Lair Podcast

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Trauma to Triumph | Shaun T | Straight Outta The Lair Podcast