October 15, 2024 • 48 mins
In this episode of the "Stuck In My Mind Podcast," host Wize El Jefe welcomes distinguished business and life coach Mark Collins to discuss transformative strategies from his book and course, "Life Mastery: Living Life by Design and Not by Default." At the heart of this insightful conversation is the crucial role of personal identity in achieving both personal and professional success. Mark Collins emphasizes the importance of understanding and embracing one's true identity, separate from external factors such as job titles or income. Instead of compartmentalizing life, he advocates for holistic personal development that influences every aspect of life—from the spiritual to the financial.
Mark takes listeners on a journey of self-improvement that extends beyond business acumen, focusing instead on transforming individuals from the inside out. Central to his teachings is the idea of living life by design—actively shaping one’s life with purpose and intention, rather than living passively or without direction. He introduces listeners to the significance of truth-based affirmations grounded in personal identity and encourages beginning with “I am” statements to identify and affirm core beliefs.
For those grappling with internalized struggles, Mark delves into common challenges such as fear of failure and imposter syndrome. Drawing from personal anecdotes, he shares how past perceptions—like a childhood belief about his intelligence—can shape adulthood self-identity. Through his three-step strategy to master thoughts, words, and actions, Mark helps individuals realign their self-talk to foster a positive self-image and combat negative influences. He outlines the "Life Mastery Blueprint," articulating the four pillars of identity, experience, meaning, and emotion as foundational for self-mastery.
Host Wize El Jefe relates with Mark Collins, disclosing his own bouts with imposter syndrome despite professional success. This open dialogue provides listeners with relatable accounts that reinforce Mark's message: the importance of betting on oneself and the potential for internal change. Mark explains how clinging to one's true identity and celebrating small victories can empower individuals to unleash their innate capabilities.
Throughout the episode, themes of resilience, authenticity, and the value of personal truth are emphasized. Mark challenges listeners to unpack past experiences and replace false beliefs with truths learned from today’s understanding. In doing so, one becomes the hero in their own life story, equipped to tackle life’s circumstances with confidence. He underscores the profound impact of seeing oneself not as a problem to be solved, but as the solution to life's challenges.
To aid in this transformative journey, Mark introduces a writing exercise aimed at recognizing one’s achievements and building self-worth beyond major milestones. Celebrating small achievements, akin to how Olympians acknowledge local milestones, builds confidence and fosters a strong sense of identity. By managing thoughts—a feat considering the mind processes 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day—individuals can prioritize positive self-talk over limiting beliefs.
In addition to these pivotal insights, Mark Collins offers practical tools, including a free discovery assessment available at his website, freedom-4-life.net. Wize El Jefe concludes by expressing gratitude for Mark's enriching participation, extending an invitation for future discussions, and acknowledging International Podcast Day’s independent creators and essential workers. This episode resonates deeply with listeners, championing the pursuit of self-mastery by embracing one’s unique design and potential for lasting success.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:41):
And welcome to another episode of stuck in my
mind podcast. I am your host, w I c e.
My my next guest is a passionate business and life coach,
the author of Life Mastery, Living Life by Design and Not by
Default. Welcome to the show, Mark
Collins. Hello. Hey. How are you? So good to be
(01:05):
here. So I didn't I saw you as soon as I pressed
play, you started talking, and I was like, alright. I can't stop.
It's alright. We're going. But,
thank you for being a guest. I I I, appreciate
you. So I start off I talked about your, we started I started talk I
talked about your book. So Uh-huh. Tell us about, life mastery
(01:28):
and about okay. So your book, life mastery, is
about living life by design. Can you tell us what inspired you to write it
that write it and what what the concept means to you? Yeah.
Absolutely. So my book as well as my course by the same title
life mastery comes from my own journey of kind of figuring out how to
have that man that I believe I was on the inside get to the outside.
(01:50):
Right? The guy that you believe you can be showing up with confidence and
assurance. The as I tell the people I work with, that that hero in hiding,
how to get that man out from on the inside to the outside in my
business and my job and my relationships. So it came from
my own journey, and, also, it came from just kind of unpacking some
of those things that were standing in the way. And that's where life mastery living
(02:11):
life by design, not by default comes in. Myself and, you know,
maybe you as well, and for sure a lot of the people I work with
are living our life by default, meaning that we believe that this is kinda what
we're stuck with. Right? Whether you're dealing with fear of failure, imposter syndrome, those
are a couple of the marquee things that I was dealing with, or you're just
trying to succeed in business and you're not really getting there. You're finding you're kinda
(02:33):
standing in your own way or stopping your own self from doing it. Right?
It's living life by default, which means I'm just managing where I'm at. You know,
I'll do my best with where I'm at. I'm trying to succeed where I'm at,
but I really, you know, I need to deal with these things, but I don't
get the chance to overcome them. Come to find out that you live life by
design. You know, as you do that, you're able to actually live the life
(02:53):
you're created for and not the life that you're you're the past and your pain
and the things you've walked through have told you you would deal with. Yeah.
I I I kind of
you you mentioned that, and and and
imposter syndrome is something I I've dealt with a lot. And,
and recently, I even I I've
(03:16):
I've I've sat down with a therapist recently, and we've discussed it. And
and even with the success of the podcast and with everything that I'm
doing, sometimes I kind of doubt myself. Yeah.
And and this and and and I know that
I'm I'm capable of so much more, but it's like
I I I get this fear. Yeah. And and I'm like you
(03:39):
said, I'm afraid of failing and then everything. But
then I speak to other people and they and and and
they tell me about, oh, man. You're doing such a great job with your podcast.
It's it's doing wonderful. But, again, sometimes you
that doubt creeps in. Yeah. And I and I kind of like, oh, am I
really doing so good? Is is it really going so well? And and it's
(04:02):
it's sometimes, it's the,
just just just that that that that
imposter fear the imposter syndrome and me feeling
like I'm I'm not doing what I'm I'm what I'm
capable fully capable of doing. Yeah. Absolutely. And I've
been in your shoes. I, you know, grew up with a dad who was, you
(04:24):
know, did the best he could. But, you
know, he was a very strong, you know, very domineering
individual, and that's not his fault. It's just who he was. And he grew up
without a father. So and for him to do anything capable in in
fathering me and my sisters, you know, was an accomplishment in his life. But but
in that place, I'm I'm not sure what your history looks like. But for me,
(04:45):
that gave me an image of a man that I was growing up around who
I'd never felt like I measured up to. And so, you know, again,
with me, I I used to totally resonate with what you're talking about because I
thought that if I succeeded in business, all of that would go away. That the
fear of failure, that the imposter syndrome. And and for those people, you know, it's
a big title, but really imposter syndrome is just believing that you're not good
(05:06):
enough for what you're in, whether it's your job, your business, your relationship. Right? It's
that voice inside your head that says, you know, that you're you're gonna
fail. You know? But you're expecting bad things to happen. You're expecting
bad decisions or bad outcomes because you don't believe that you're capable
of succeeding in that area. Well, I thought
that when I succeeded, all of that would go away. When we had a business,
(05:29):
we sold it for a mid 6 figure, profit. And at the end of
the day, I had the same fear of failure at the end as I did
in the beginning. Same imposter syndrome. It's kinda the same thing. They're a little bit
different, but they really have the same outcome, which is me holding back and
believing that the worst is about to come. Right? That next business decision is
gonna be a tragedy or that next thing that I do is gonna be a
(05:50):
disaster. I'm gonna bankrupt the company or whatever. And maybe those are some of the
things that you're you've thought as well. And so that
really ties into the Life Mastery journey. What we talk about in life mastery
that I had to kind of unpack in my own life was either living from
who I was created to be or living from what my past and the pain
and the lies I believe have told me I was. That young man growing up
(06:12):
dealing with imposter syndrome, fear of failure was me living from what my past
told me, which was you're not good enough. You're not gonna measure up, you
know, with my dad and some school issues, some struggles in school where you didn't
feel like you were as smart as everybody else. You know, those things, they have
a mark on your life, and they tell you that you're not as good. And
so you grow up and you try and overcome them. Either either try and prove
(06:33):
them right or prove them wrong. You you prove them right by not even trying,
giving up, just, you know, kind of living life by default. Or you
try and prove them wrong by out succeeding them. But you
can't succeed your way out of fear or out of imposter
syndrome. It really is an identity statement. The reason I know this is
because I I work with and have conversation with people that are multimillionaires
(06:56):
who literally say out of their mouth, well, this fear of failure, I guess, is
just part of the journey. It's part of the process. It's what I need to
deal with, you know, even though I'm successful, and that's an absolute lie. The truth
of the matter is if you understand who you're created to be, then really like
you with your podcast, you with all that you're doing in in the audio and
video format is a person being unleashed into everything
(07:16):
that they're created for. The the mark of today versus the mark that I
was back then is now I don't worry about success or failure in my
business because they're not going to tell me who I am any longer. What
I understand is that what I get to do is invest me and know that
I'm the answer to whatever circumstance I'm walking into. I'm not the
question mark. That's kinda what I teach the people I work with, and that's something
(07:38):
I'd I'd hand off to anybody who's dealing with impostor syndrome. When you understand
who you are, the world doesn't have to make up the difference. But when you
don't know who you are, the world does. So you need to be successful. You
need to have everything perfect. Because if you and if it's not,
then like with myself in my early years and when I was trying to succeed
in business, you have that wrestling match with your thoughts. Right?
(08:00):
Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Definitely.
How do you help your clients identify and unlock their inner hero
through through your coaching approach? That's a great question. I
appreciate that. So first off, it starts with identity. I I tell
people all the time that my wife doesn't let me have a tattoo, but if
I had one, my tattoo would say identity is everything.
(08:22):
Because it is. As I said, you know, we already unpacked the the punch line
to this, which is you're either living from who you're created to be or what
your cast has told you. And so in that place, what we do is we
start with giving them some exercises. The first is an I am statement.
Right? The first strategy is create an I am statement, and the I am statement
is who you are apart from your stuff, which for most of us means that
(08:43):
we have to take a minute to try and figure it out. Because most of
us, myself included, would look at our job, our business, our title,
our income. Right? All of those things telling us who we are.
But you're really who you are apart from your things. My my my
outcomes and and my income and all of those things are not
who I am. They're an outcome of who I am. And so we tell them,
(09:05):
who are you? It's an I am statement. I'm a I'm a man of faith.
And so for me and the people who have, faith walk, I would say,
start with the conversation with God and say, hey, god. Who did you create me
to be? But the strategy works for whoever. When I
separate myself from the things I do and I start to unpack who I'm
created to be, my character, my my will, right, my
(09:26):
strength, and all of the things that make me me. Right? It's those things that
you're doing in your podcast. Right? Those those those things that you're doing
intellectually and, you know, cognitively. You're you're smart enough. You're
you're wise enough. You're skilled enough. Right? All of those things, the character parts of
who you are is who you are. They're just lived out in the things that
you do. We unpack it with an identity statement and say, who are you? And
(09:47):
then, I mean, to cut to the chase, the second thing we do is a
3 step transformational strategy, which is mastering your thoughts, words,
and actions. What I tell the people I work
with that most of them don't realize is who you think you are, you'll
become. And so I am today, you know, this this
right here in front of my microphone, in front of my camera, I am exactly
(10:09):
the person that I believed I was going to be. You can't be anything different
than that. You can you can hope you're somebody else. You can wish you're somebody
else. But, really, at the end of the day, what you believe you are on
the inside is who you'll become on the outside. And so for the guys
like myself and, you know, it sounds like that's a journey that you've been on
as well who are dealing with imposter syndrome, who are kinda standing in their way
(10:29):
of their own success. It's saying, hey. Okay. So I
start with who I'm created to be. Now we have now we have
a a script to tell ourselves. So what
I tell them is now now it's becomes an affirmation. What are you telling yourself?
It either aligns with who you say you are. And if you're a man
of faith or woman of faith, it aligns with who you and God have confirmed
(10:52):
you are, or it's lying to you. It there's no in between.
It's either you, who you created to be, or it's a lie. And so when
we give ourselves a strategy of starting to unpack it and and using a system
of mastering our thoughts first and foremost, now all of a sudden, when those
doubts come, I already have a weapon to come against them. You can't you can't
fight a war by training once you're in it. Yeah. And but that again,
(11:14):
by default versus design, part of our design is that mindset shift of saying, hey,
give yourself ammunition of truth in who you're created to be and your
capabilities before the doubts come, not after they show
up. Yeah. You you, you
talk you you you spoke on about living by design
versus living by default. And why is it
(11:36):
such a critical mind shift? Why is it such
a is it is it the is it it's something that,
I see, like, even myself struggle with. Why is it that why
is it difficult for for us to to do that to to
do that mind shift? Yeah. I think that's a great question. You know? And there's
a couple of ways that I would tackle it. The first is the difference between
(12:00):
life mastery and all of the personal development that I've actually tried myself.
So growing up, right, with the background I had and becoming a
young adult and believing that there was more there was more for me than the
life I was living, and there was more on the inside of me than I
was showing. Well, I I I you know, for me, and I'm sure a lot
of your your listeners, the people that are here are you go for personal
(12:22):
development. You go, you know, is there is that that the guru, that mentor, that
person out there that's got it all together. Right? And so I went for a
bunch of them. Yeah. Whatever was free or cheap or I could afford,
I went and grabbed a hold of them to try and implement them. Whatever books.
Right? 10, 12, 15 books I read on some sort of area of personal
development and self self growth. And what I found was
(12:43):
a guy of great change, but not transformation. And the
problem with change versus transformation is when you're changing,
basically, what you're doing is changing one habit for another. The
habit of disbelief or this negative mindset and thought
process that you have, you're you're using something to counteract it. And the
problem with changes, as soon as I stop the habit, I stop the progress.
(13:06):
And so for me, it was, first and foremost, something that
seemed exhausting. And the second challenge with it was that in a lot of the
programs that I saw, it was really typically, you know, find this person
who's amazing, act and speak and, you
know, do like that amazing person does, and then you'll become like them.
Well, the problem for me was I knew I wasn't them.
(13:29):
I wasn't going to be whoever. Like, I wasn't gonna be LeBron James. I
wasn't going to be Tom Brady. I wasn't gonna be Elon Musk. I wasn't gonna
be Beyonce. Right? Whoever that amazing person is. Right? Doesn't mean
that I can't have equal success, but I'm not them. So to try and
imitate them really just means me second best.
And in most cases, your mindset says you're not them. And you know what? Your
(13:51):
mind's right. But the pivotal shift from
design or from default to design really helps you to understand that I'm
not trying to imitate somebody else so I can be successful. I'm
not trying to use mantras to beat up my thought process, my
thoughts until they finally submit and stop telling me I'm a
failure. Basically, it starts with the unpacking of, hey. Who are you
(14:13):
created to be? It's the design of you. You're designed for an impact you're supposed
to have in the world. You're designed, as I said about myself, I tell that
to every one of my students, my clients, the people I work with. You're the
answer to every circumstance that you're walking into. You're not the
question to be figured out. You're the answer to be given. And what that
means is that you already are capable before you walk
(14:34):
into it. It doesn't mean you have all the skill sets. It doesn't mean you
have all the intellectual answers. What it means is that you're fully
capable of succeeding in everything that you step into. When
you change your mindset shift, when you understand your identity and walk
in as that person, now all of a sudden, instead of being your own
hindrance, instead of having to fight negative thoughts, instead of, you know, those failure
(14:56):
things and those moments where, you know, like myself in business, there were things
I could have done to really reach farther and go higher. But instead,
you kinda hold back because what if right? What if it fails? What if
the income isn't there? What if I tried this thing and the audience doesn't show
up? When you understand who you are, this design means that
I'm a person of impact. And as I unpack who I am as I
(15:18):
as I reveal, right, the hero in hiding and allow
that man, that woman to show up in every area of my life, well, the
answers will come. It's not you're not the question to be figured
out. You're the answer to be given into that circumstance.
Okay. Awesome.
(15:38):
What are some of the what are some of the biggest challenges you're seeing people
face when trying to achieve personal mastery, and and how
you guide them through it? Yeah.
You know, it it's some of those things that I talked about. You know, I
talked about my dad and his strong personality. I could also talk about school
and how I I remember a specific incident when I was in 1st grade
(15:59):
going into 2nd grade, being in a room with a teacher and my
parents and have her tell my parents that I wasn't
ready to get into the next grade. I wasn't ready to graduate to move forward
with everybody else in my class. So for this little young man that
was sitting there, right, 7, 8 years old, The thing that he
remembered, the thing that he believed was, I'm not as smart as everybody else.
(16:21):
I'm not as good. I'm not as capable. Right? I'm not as good as
everybody else in my class because I'm being told I can't move forward. My
parents chose not to hold me back in that grade. And, you know, I was
probably emotionally and relationally, you know, a bit immature for my age, which was, I
mean, goodness, less than 10 years old. So it wasn't a hindrance, but there
was an identity statement that I took into adulthood. And so for some of
(16:44):
my students as well well, frankly, for everybody. When I say that
you're either living from your identity or living from your past, I haven't met a
person yet who isn't who isn't living with some sort of
form of belief system that they had because of things that
happened in their family or or words that were spoken over them by somebody
who who said something that wounded them, whether they showed it on the outside or
(17:05):
not, there's an identity statement given on the inside. So for me, that young man
was you're not as smart as everybody else. And so you take that into
adulthood. And so what happens when you're in business and you don't
have enough income and the marketing isn't working and you have to figure out how
am I gonna pay salary for the people that we have in our employer. Right?
What do you think the thought process is that's happening in your head? Right? It's
(17:26):
the exact same thing you thought when you were younger. I'm not as smart as
everybody else. I'm gonna fail. I'm not I thought I could do it, but I
guess I was wrong. Right? So from the students that I have, it's a
realization that it's not just a personal circumstance. It's a
past identity that you're walking through and being willing to do that. I
tell the people that I work with that they're some of the bravest people I
know because most people ignore their past, act like it
(17:50):
doesn't matter, and it doesn't have an effect. The only people that know that it
has an effect is everybody else in their life as they're trying to
deal with stuff as, you know, ugly comes out in whatever way it
comes out. But the brave people that I work with are the ones who are
willing to say, I want to know how to become the person I'm created to
be and how to destroy the lies that I've believed. And unpacking it
(18:12):
from, you know, past experiences is where it happens for everyone.
What, one of, experience for me was,
I was raised by my mom. I was raised by a single mom.
And for many years,
my thing was I didn't I was like, okay. Why didn't my dad wanna be
(18:34):
a part of my life? Why didn't he want anything to do with me?
And so, after 25
years, I I reunited with my dad.
Oh, wow. And so it it was,
it was it was bittersweet because I reunited with my dad,
in, in May of 09. I
(18:57):
have 25 years of not seeing him. Yeah. I went
to see him that June, of 2,009,
Father's Day weekend. I went so I I landed in Puerto Rico
Friday, went to see him. We
spoke, and, we we just kind of
cleared the air, and I I I had I had forgiven
(19:20):
him years prior. But to actually be able to be
there and forgive him and and talk to him and find out why
why he didn't want, like, to for him to answer the questions of why
he wasn't a part of my life. And Yeah. And so that was kind
of, but it's because the next morning, he passed
away. Wow. And so so at least I I got some
(19:43):
type of closure from from him, and I spoke to him. And
and it was just that that was one of the men many issues for me
for many years is feeling
that I I wasn't worthy of him or Yeah.
Or just that feeling of and my mom did a
wonderful job. My mom was most she was most caring. I
(20:06):
didn't need anything. She she was always there.
But it's something different when you don't have your father in your life, and
and and you're always wondering, like,
why? Why didn't why didn't he want me? So that's something
that I kind of I feel that's something some of the issues that I've
I'm dealing with now, much well, when I'm much
(20:28):
older and everything, because it it still was something that probably,
deep inside, it was still festering Yeah. To somebody.
Like so that's why I kinda it it it it crept in there.
And and and, like I
said, I'm I'm dealing I was dealing with the imposter syndrome
(20:48):
and wondering, like, how am I how
am I capable of doing this? I'm not I'm I'm not good enough. So
all these all these self doubts and and talk. But
the more I start doing my podcast and the more I start speaking to people
and and these conversations, they're they're they're
to me, they were so rewarding and and fulfilling, and
(21:12):
and it's it's opening up a new,
open a new up open up new opportunities and open up Yeah. My
eyes to to what is truly around me, surrounding me, and
what's happening. And it feels great to be able
to tell you now that, oh, my my my
confidence from when I first started the podcast to now,
(21:34):
where I'm at now in my podcasting journey, it's so much
different. Like Yeah. Now, at first, when I first started, it was there
was some hesitation. There was some doubt. There was, like I said, there was
me questioning myself to where I am now, and and the response
that I get from people and the messages that I received from people was kinda
like, okay. You you are doing something good. You are you are
(21:56):
capable of doing this and and and and
being able to to have these
wonderful conversations and and listen to people like yourself
talk about your journey and then everything. Kinda
helps me on mine. I appreciate that. And and I appreciate
you, sharing vulnerably about your life. That's
(22:18):
that's a brave thing to do. So thanks so much, Will. And if I could
give you a couple of quick things. Mhmm. So unpacking
identity. Identity, we start with an I am statement, who are you created to be?
The second thing I have them do is create a celebration list. And it's not
a celebration list of the things you've done, but what you celebrate about you. The
question is, what do you love about you? And I tell them to put 20
(22:39):
together. I've done a 100. And and when it comes down to is what's the
things about you that you love. Right? So for me, you know, I love the
fact that I have blue eyes. I love the fact that I well, I'm taller
than my dad. I love the fact that I love chocolate, and I laugh easily.
I I love the fact that I have a sensitive heart, and I and I
don't watch Hallmark movies because of it because of it. You know? I love
that I like goofy humor. Right? What are the things you love about you? Because
(23:02):
it starts to unpack the understanding that you have worth and you have value apart
from what you give. Right? Your effort, your intellect, your
job, your business, all the things you do. And so it's a celebration list. The
second the second list we give is the accomplishment list. And this is where
you write down the things that you've done. And what I tell them to do
is write down 20. I've written over a 130 at this point.
(23:23):
And the thing is when you get past, like, 10, 15, 20, you've lost
all the big name stuff in your life, and then it comes down to things
like I pay my bills on time. I I show up to work every day,
and and and I want them to have a list longer than
the big marquee moments, the trophies in their life because it's in that place that
you start to figure out that you have a track record of success.
(23:45):
We don't realize it because we're waiting for those kind of Super Bowl and, you
know, it's the year of the Olympics. So waiting for that Olympic gold medal before
we celebrate the things that we've done. But the truth of the matter is there's
nobody a high, high level of success, especially athletics. If you look at
Olympians, there's nobody that's an Olympic gold medalist who hasn't
celebrated themselves locally, regionally, nationally, and then
(24:07):
internationally. But for us, we think that, oh, it's only when I get
to this place that I'm gonna have value and worth. If you celebrate yourself in
the small things, you'll find yourself in the big places. If you
don't celebrate yourself in the small things, then you'll hold yourself back from living
out the life that you're created for. So there's that identity piece. And then the
thing if I could quickly unpack this, we talk about
(24:29):
mastering your thoughts. And one of the things we do, I don't have time to
unpack it. I know on this program, we have 4 pillars of life mastery. The
4 areas that you live in, it's identity, experience, meaning, and emotion. I don't
have time to unpack them. They're in my book, life mastery living life by design.
I'd love to have another conversation some other time. But the one tool that I
wanna give you that was in my life that I would give you in yours
(24:49):
is looking at a past experience, and he's talked about it with your father
and understand. Okay? So for me, it was feeling like you're not as
smart as you're not as good as you're a failure waiting to happen. Well, when
did you first feel that? Well, this young man felt it in the 1st grade.
That's when he first felt like this was who he was. So we say
this when with the people we work with. When was the first time you felt
(25:11):
that emotion? And for me, it was then. Maybe for you, it was when you
are a young man or whatever the time was. Okay. Well, what was the lie
you believed in that circumstance? For me, it was I'm
not as smart as everybody else. For you, it may have been or some of
the listeners. It may have been like, they didn't love me because of
but what's the truth that you know? As an adult and a person that
(25:33):
understands your identity, what's the truth that you know? For me, it was that I
was momentarily, emotionally, not as mature
as everybody else. Did that mean that I wasn't a person of intellect and understanding?
No. I went on to do successful things and be great at all sorts of
things. But that identity statement doesn't leave until you destroy the
lie with the truth. And so for a person who feels like a
(25:54):
a family member has left or or somebody has wounded because they weren't
there in your life, the question is, what's the truth that you know?
And what I tell the people that I work with is it wasn't a value
statement on who you are and your value as a as a son or
daughter. It was a statement of where they're at and
their incapability to become a parent. And
(26:17):
so when you understand that truth, now all of a sudden, some of those
outcomes of those lies, of that feeling of insecurity and all that can lead because
now I know what the truth is, and I know that it wasn't my issue.
It was theirs. But I tell the people I work with really quickly at the
end is we don't ever tell you that your past doesn't matter,
that your hurt doesn't count, and that you just need to get over it. But
(26:39):
what we invite you to do is not let it tell you who you are
anymore. That's
that's awesome. Yeah. I I agree with that. That's
so you you emphasize the concept of being the hero in one's
life. Yeah. How can someone begin to to
step into that role if they feel stuck or unsure of
(27:01):
their purpose? Yeah. Absolutely. Well, it's it's
the stages and steps that we talked about. Yeah. Right? Those three steps in
in identifying your identity, right, who you're created to be. It's
it's using that as your conversation and your thoughts. Right?
Mastering your thoughts, words, and actions. It's reminding yourself
daily who you are until you see that man or that woman show up.
(27:22):
So as I start to unpack identity, as I start to overcome some of
the lies of my past, as I continue to remind myself who I am, now
all of a sudden that guy shows up at the job when there's a stressful
situation, and normally he would blow up or he would just shrink back and
say whatever or in relationship in life and business, whatever the area that
it is. When you're confident in who you are, that person shows up and you're
(27:44):
willing to give answers. You're willing to have hard conversations. You're willing to
make uncomfortable decisions. And it's in the reminding of yourself.
Right? You master your thoughts, words, and actions. 1st off, feed your thoughts. Who are
you created to be? We have, like, 60. What did, estimates are 50
to 70000 thoughts a day. Most of them are subconscious.
You know, you and I getting on this call and all this. We made several
(28:06):
decisions we weren't even aware of just to get things plugged in and ready to
go. Yeah. It's the normal part of life. But there's those thoughts that we do
have when stress happens, when we're trying to get ready or do
something, those things that are talking to us and telling us who we are. Well,
when you counteract it with the truth of who you are, now all of a
sudden, that man or woman shows up. It changes your decisions, it changes
your actions, and it changes the outcomes. We could talk about mastering your words
(28:29):
and actions as well, but it's really using those tools to live it
out. And then, of course, you know, the other tool that we use is master
in the unpacking of the 4 pillars of life mastery.
Understanding that it's not the experience you have, it's the meaning you give it. And
the meaning you typically give it is an identity statement about you.
That young man who was in a conversation or listening to a conversation where
(28:51):
his parents and teacher were saying, you know, hey. You may not be ready to
the go to the next grade. Right? The meaning wasn't, oh, I need to
worry about school, one grade versus another. The meaning was an identity
statement that says you're not as good as. And it's
in that place that when you create a meaning that aligns with who you're created
to be, not your past and your pain, now all of a sudden that person
(29:13):
shows up, and now all of a sudden they empower you. So even if you
have bad experiences, horrible experiences, tragic experiences,
you can rise above them, not have them drag you down.
Yeah. Yeah. You're absolutely right.
A lot of people, struggle with self talk
(29:35):
with with with how they speak to to themselves.
Yeah. We can be really we can be really cruel to
ourselves in in some of the statements that we make, and a lot of it
comes from
other people's beliefs. It it comes from what a lot of people have said to
us throughout the years that we're stuck with, that we're
(29:56):
stuck, like, with with that in our heads with, yeah, maybe they're right. I am
not. I am I'm probably not smart enough, or I'm not athletic
enough, or I'm not capable of doing such things.
Yeah. How does someone with
especially with I don't a lot of you explained a lot of that,
but it's it's still something that that a lot
(30:18):
of people really truly do get struggle with
where they they can't they don't know how to
Overcome it. Yeah. Yeah. How to begin? Where where to start? Where is the first
step to them starting of how do I get out of it?
How how do I get these limited beliefs off get off
of get them off me and and and start believing in in in
(30:42):
Yeah. In myself. Yeah. Absolutely. You know? And that's a
great question, Will. And it comes back down to an identity statement. Who do you
say you are? Because here's the interesting thing. Scientifically, it's
proven that you can only have one thought at a time. You can have thoughts
after thoughts. Right? We have, like I said, 50 to 70,000 of them. But the
truth of the matter is you can't entertain 2 thoughts in in one single
(31:04):
process. And so life by design versus life by
default. Life by default is I need to manage my thoughts when they come up.
I need to try and, you know, occupy my mind with something else. I need
to, you know, I need to figure something out. If you're a a person that
feel like myself, you'll you'll grab your favorite scripture. And when you're
fearful, you'll bring that thing out. Well, the problem is when you're fighting a
(31:24):
battle and using a weapon after you're in the battle, you're
in you're in you're in trouble. But when you actually feed yourself ahead of
time, now all of a sudden you give yourself ammunition for the battle. Right? You
don't train for the battle after you're in it. You train before you go. And
so for us, it's really bringing affirmations into your life with your
truth. Most affirmations are just generic things that people
(31:46):
are saying over themselves that have no basis in who they're created to be. You
know, I am worthy. I am worthy. I'm worthy. I'm a millionaire. I'm a millionaire.
I'm a millionaire. Right? Generics generic mantras that you
use as if they're going to change your life. What's the difference in what
we do is you create affirmations from your identity, who you're created to be, who
you believe you are, who you see yourself to be. So when
(32:07):
you're speaking those things out, you're actually just speaking truth over yourself,
not some hopeful image of something that you could be someday.
You're speaking who you're created to be and in that place because you can't have
more than one thought at a time. If I occupy myself with the truth,
the lie has no place or no time to get in. And when I do
recognize that there's a lie there, I'm not finding it with some generic
(32:31):
hopeful, you know, magic formula. I'm actually
speaking truth over myself and celebration list.
I'm bringing myself this foundation of you're a person worthy to be
celebrated and loved. An accomplishment list. You have a track
record of accomplishment in your life. You wake up and you brush
your teeth. You get ready for whatever you're doing, work, job, business, school,
(32:54):
and you get out there and do it. Well, not everybody does that. So while
you say that's ordinary, everybody does. Well, no. They don't. And if you
celebrate yourself in those things, what you see is that from the time I wake
up until I go to bed, I have moments of success throughout the
entirety of my day. When you start to see a perspective like that
and challenges come up, you have much more confidence that you can actually
(33:15):
accomplish those things. And when you understand that you're the answer, now you start to
have confidence that you're gonna show up in ways that are gonna bring answers and
solutions and decisions that are gonna drive you towards the life that
you're created for. And and, yeah, now that I hear
you saying it, like, there there are those generic affirmations where they're
like, oh, I'm a millionaire. I'm with but if you
(33:37):
you've if you don't believe that, it's not gonna
it's not gonna work. So it is it is important for you to, like
I I know I'm a, I'm a caring
person. I I know I'm someone who who I'm very supportive
of of my friends and my family and everything. So you
I I feel like I would
(34:00):
use those kind of type of affirmations to to really to to
to basically the stuff that I truly know about myself that I
that I like like, there's all these
affirmations, like, oh, I I'm gonna talk
about, stuff that you
truly don't believe in. And when you I I I actually
(34:23):
agree with what you're saying where if you focus on stuff that you
know about yourself that are that are positive and and and and
reinforce those those affirmations that that that
that'll definitely help you more than something you you won't
that you truly don't believe. Yeah. Absolutely. And check this
out. The truth of the matter is a lot of times our
(34:45):
affirmations are really just outcomes. Meaning this, we're looking for dollar
signs. We're looking for possessions. Right? Having that amazing car,
that Lamborghini. Right? Those things that you have, your your dream list, your
dream board, whatever you wanna call it. And at the end of the day, when
you're trying to go for things to prove who you are, you'll find yourself
lacking. As you know, we all know people who are got great net worth
(35:07):
and their life's a disaster. So success doesn't change who you
are. But when I start to use affirmations that are who I'm created to
be, now that person shows up and check this out, Will. When I do
that, now all of a sudden, the outcome of my business decision doesn't
determine what my value and worth is. If I'm a person of
compassion and integrity and love and strength, and I
(35:29):
get a ticket on the way home in the car of whatever,
speeding ticket, or I do a I create a business decision and it
doesn't work out well, and we have to back out and it costs us some
money. Well, those things are business decisions apart from who I am. They don't
tell me who I am. So I'm not a failure when those things happen. I'm
not foolish or whatever the thing is because my identity tells me
(35:50):
who I am apart from my activities. You separate yourself from the
things you do and you separate yourself from the outcomes you gain and in that
place, you can show up without being stressed, without being
worried, without being fearful because what I know about Will is you're
showing up as that person of compassion and integrity and care and
love. And what if something doesn't go right? Does that
(36:12):
steal those characteristics from you now? No. You're still that same guy coming
in as you were going out. Yeah. And so in that place, you're
unshakable as the person you're created to be. And the truth of
the matter is you have much higher levels of success because at that place, we're
not the thing holding ourselves back. We're the one unleashing ourself.
That hero in hiding that we talked about. The hero in hiding isn't some, you
(36:34):
know, idealized version of somebody you wanna be. It's the person you
were created to be living out in every area of your life.
Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. What what do you
what do you think is one of the most important qualities a person must cultivate
to be successful in both their personal life and career?
(37:00):
Personal qualities. That's a really interesting question. I appreciate
that. I I I think one of the one of
the earmarks of people who are successful in doing what I invite them
into this life mastery journey is is not giving up on
themselves. And, frankly, anybody of any high level of
success, that's the one thing through failure and success that they did
(37:22):
consistently was they believed in themselves. Not necessarily
believed in the product. Not that they didn't believe in their business or the thing
that they were doing, but whether that business failed or succeeded, they knew
that they were meant for more, and they were willing to put
themselves out there as I say with the people I work with to bet on
themselves until they make it happen. Whether it's in this job
(37:43):
or that job and then this business or that business. I haven't read of
anybody that I've read who was highly successful that was hitting a
home run on their first go around. That had everything come
fall into line with no challenges, no issues. Right?
No no business hiccups, no failures that were financially
devastating or whatever. Right? They've all had those challenges
(38:05):
that led to the successes in their life. But the one thing that was in
common and the one thing that the people I work with have done is being
willing to bet on yourself until you find that solution, find
that avenue for you to be able to express the passion
and the impact that you're supposed to have in the world.
Yeah. My
(38:27):
nephew said something, to me, at one at one
point because he he saw that I
was I was doing some I was doing so
so great in the podcast and everything. He's like, but he says he says, yo,
I need you to do something. He says, I need you to celebrate the small
accomplishments. He says, I need you to celebrate
(38:48):
all the little things. He says, it's great to get celebrate all the big things,
but, he says, I need you to celebrate the little things. I need you to
celebrate the fact that you got a 100 downloads. I need you to celebrate
that you had 20 views on on a certain. He says
celebrate all of that. He says, because when you appreciate the small
things, it's easier
(39:10):
when the big things do happen. Yeah.
Yeah. Absolutely. And that's something that that stuck with me throughout through the
years, and it's like, okay. He he's right. He's I I
need to I need to celebrate the small things because
those are just as important as the big things. Yep. Absolutely.
It's that accomplishment list we talked about. Right? Yeah.
(39:34):
Yeah. It is. It's definitely is. So as a
coach, how how do you balance helping people work on both their
personal and professional lives, and how intricate are these
two aspects? That's a great question. What
I tell people is I don't I don't help you work on your business.
I help you work on you and your business. Because, again, if we
(39:57):
start with the foundation of identity, right, and then we walk through the
things that help you to unleash that person that you're created to be well, that
guy and or that woman shows up in every area of your life.
The same guy that shows up with full confidence and assurance
that that he's capable of succeeding in his business, that he's gonna have an impact,
and this thing is gonna make a difference in the world is the same man
(40:19):
who can come home and have a nurturing, caring,
loving relationship with his with his spouse or or be able to be
the father and the the the coach and the leader and the
encourager for his children as well. Right? It's the same person that shows up
everywhere. The challenge with a lot of people I work with is they think that
you can compartmentalize your life. And so what they do is they they have to
(40:40):
stress at business, and they're trying to succeed at it. And the the weight of
the things that are going on there, they they are the only one that doesn't
realize that affects their home. And and it's not because, you
know, one affects the other. It's because the same person is walking into both.
Well, I don't need to change you in your relationship. If I can change
you as a person, that changes your relationship. When I tell
(41:03):
people about my spouse, my wife, I've been married 33 years at,
at the end of this year. I'll be married 33 years. And I tell people
that my wife is not a necessity in my life. She's a benefit.
See, she's a benefit because I know exactly who I am. If she was
a necessity, that would mean that I I would need her to be okay with
me. If you don't know who you are, your world has to make
(41:24):
up the difference. And in relationship, if I don't know who I am, then my
wife has to make up the difference. And she has to make for up for
my insecurities and fears and the things that I deal with. And by the way,
that was part of the journey as I was walking towards life mastery before
I created the course and lived it out and did the things that I did.
I created the course after I lived it out. But, you know, in that journey,
(41:45):
you know, with 33 years, she met me before. I there was a before me
and then after me, and she met me on the way. And so in that
place, when you show up as who you are, your spouse gets the ability to
show up as who they are, and your relationship is amazing. It's the same
attributes. It's the same characteristics that make you a
successful business person. Not this not, you know, not the skills, not
(42:06):
the, you know, the the do's and don'ts and the nuts and bolts of what
it takes to run a business. But, really, it doesn't matter what you're walking into.
What I tell people is your character is your calling. Whether it's in your business
or in your relationship or at home or with friends or whatever, it's the you
that's showing up that makes the difference. It's not some sort of understanding
of how to do accounting or or how to have, you know, the best conversation
(42:29):
with your wife. It's that guy showing up or that woman showing up in every
area of your life. We change that person to who you're created to be, it'll
affect you across the board. We talk about in life mastery 5 areas
of life mastery. It's a spiritual, relational, vocational, physical,
financial. Life happens in 5 spheres, we say, and it's in those
areas that all of life happens. Well, I change you in one
(42:50):
area. I change you in all of them. You're the same person showing up
physically and and trying to be that person of, you know, worth and value in
that place of giving yourself longevity. Financially, being able to not
just, you know, make income, but invest income and actually give income so that
you have generosity as part of who you are and and a relationship in all
the other areas. You're that same person. I change you. I
(43:12):
help you change yourself really to the living a life mastery
life. It affects every area. Awesome.
Well well, Mark, it comes we've come to the
time where you get to the solo screen and you get to
plug away and let everybody know where they can find you, where they can
(43:33):
get the book, everything. Sounds great.
Well, I'm a one stop shop, so you can find me at freedom
dash 4 dash life dot net. It's www.freedom
dash 4 dash life dot net. Out there, you can find my book, life master
living life by design, not by default. You can find my course life mastery. There's
also a free discovery tool on my website. It's quick forty questions.
(43:56):
You give quick answers. You take your score at the end, and it'll show where
you're at in your life mastery journey and what next step you can take in
that life mastery journey. That's all that freedom dash 4 dash life.net.
One last thing I would probably say is this. The thing I said about 10
minutes ago, 5 minutes ago was bet on yourself. I
I've tried a bunch of different courses and books, and I didn't find any that
(44:18):
really brought transformation, but a lot of them that brought change. And so I created
one con could be called life mastery and created the book called life
mastery as well. But the one thing I did throughout that was really the thing
that led me to being able to stay in it long enough was betting on
myself. If you bet on yourself, the resource will be out there for you to
have that transformational journey so that the fear of failure, imposter syndrome,
(44:40):
or whatever the challenge is that's standing in your way won't stand in your way
any longer. If you bet on yourself, everything else will come into line. We have
the course for you, but I can have the best course available. If you're unwilling
to bet on yourself one more time, you won't find it. But if you do,
you're gonna have the life that you're created for, and it's going to be amazing.
Is that the book in the background? It is. Life Mastery, living
(45:02):
life by design, not by default. Alright.
That goes everybody make sure y'all go out there and get the book and,
definitely support Mark and and and and what he's doing. Oh,
thank you so much, Mark, for being a guest. I greatly appreciate it. This has
been wonderful. I've actually I've never really spoken about my
father. So until I I appreciate that. This episode,
(45:25):
especially especially on how I felt about him
of how I felt growing up not having him. But it it it was,
something I I needed to ex express and and talk about this
episode. So thank you. Absolutely. I appreciate your authenticity,
and thanks so much for having me on. Oh, the pleasure's all mine. It's,
you you're welcome to come back. I I love having return
(45:47):
guests. It's, it's great to have people come back on after,
after they after if you ever decide to write another book or
if we create another program, you definitely, can hit me send me a message, and
I would love to have you come back on and promote it and and talk
about what you got else going on. That would be a phenomenal. I'd love it.
Thanks so much. Thank you. Thank you. It'll leave you just yet. Let
(46:09):
me close out show and and we'll chat a little bit off the air.
But, again, thank you so much for, stopping by and,
sharing sharing the information you have and and and
everything you're doing out there is amazing. So continue to,
shine bright and and continue to help the people out there that that that need
your help. Thanks so much. I definitely will. Looking forward to talking
(46:32):
again. Alright. Another great
episode in the books. I I'm so happy to have
had Mark on the show. I'm, I'm grateful,
especially on International Podcast Day. So shout out to everybody
out there on, all the independent podcasters out there doing
what you're doing. Continue to shine bright, guys, because,
(46:55):
you're you're you're amazing. And, a lot of you out there
are are are filling in with the podcast that you have created, and I'm
so proud of, a lot of you guys out there. As always, big shout
out to my RealWise fam, Papi j, Brandy j. Love you guys.
Shout out to the boss lady. I love you and appreciate you.
Shout out to Mark Collins for coming through and and sharing his
(47:18):
story and and and sharing his knowledge with us.
And as always, a big, big shout out to everybody in the audience,
all the essential workers out there. God bless y'all. Be safe. You
know how your boy, Wise, does it? Peace out.
And welcome to another episode of stuck in my
mind podcast. I am your host, w I c e.
My my next guest is a passionate business and life coach,
the author of Life Mastery, Living Life by Design and Not by
Default. Welcome to the show, Mark
Collins. Hello. Hey. How are you? So good to be
(01:05):
here. So I didn't I saw you as soon as I pressed
play, you started talking, and I was like, alright. I can't stop.
It's alright. We're going. But,
thank you for being a guest. I I I, appreciate
you. So I start off I talked about your, we started I started talk I
talked about your book. So Uh-huh. Tell us about, life mastery
(01:28):
and about okay. So your book, life mastery, is
about living life by design. Can you tell us what inspired you to write it
that write it and what what the concept means to you? Yeah.
Absolutely. So my book as well as my course by the same title
life mastery comes from my own journey of kind of figuring out how to
have that man that I believe I was on the inside get to the outside.
(01:50):
Right? The guy that you believe you can be showing up with confidence and
assurance. The as I tell the people I work with, that that hero in hiding,
how to get that man out from on the inside to the outside in my
business and my job and my relationships. So it came from
my own journey, and, also, it came from just kind of unpacking some
of those things that were standing in the way. And that's where life mastery living
(02:11):
life by design, not by default comes in. Myself and, you know,
maybe you as well, and for sure a lot of the people I work with
are living our life by default, meaning that we believe that this is kinda what
we're stuck with. Right? Whether you're dealing with fear of failure, imposter syndrome, those
are a couple of the marquee things that I was dealing with, or you're just
trying to succeed in business and you're not really getting there. You're finding you're kinda
(02:33):
standing in your own way or stopping your own self from doing it. Right?
It's living life by default, which means I'm just managing where I'm at. You know,
I'll do my best with where I'm at. I'm trying to succeed where I'm at,
but I really, you know, I need to deal with these things, but I don't
get the chance to overcome them. Come to find out that you live life by
design. You know, as you do that, you're able to actually live the life
(02:53):
you're created for and not the life that you're you're the past and your pain
and the things you've walked through have told you you would deal with. Yeah.
I I I kind of
you you mentioned that, and and and
imposter syndrome is something I I've dealt with a lot. And,
and recently, I even I I've
(03:16):
I've I've sat down with a therapist recently, and we've discussed it. And
and even with the success of the podcast and with everything that I'm
doing, sometimes I kind of doubt myself. Yeah.
And and this and and and I know that
I'm I'm capable of so much more, but it's like
I I I get this fear. Yeah. And and I'm like you
(03:39):
said, I'm afraid of failing and then everything. But
then I speak to other people and they and and and
they tell me about, oh, man. You're doing such a great job with your podcast.
It's it's doing wonderful. But, again, sometimes you
that doubt creeps in. Yeah. And I and I kind of like, oh, am I
really doing so good? Is is it really going so well? And and it's
(04:02):
it's sometimes, it's the,
just just just that that that that
imposter fear the imposter syndrome and me feeling
like I'm I'm not doing what I'm I'm what I'm
capable fully capable of doing. Yeah. Absolutely. And I've
been in your shoes. I, you know, grew up with a dad who was, you
(04:24):
know, did the best he could. But, you
know, he was a very strong, you know, very domineering
individual, and that's not his fault. It's just who he was. And he grew up
without a father. So and for him to do anything capable in in
fathering me and my sisters, you know, was an accomplishment in his life. But but
in that place, I'm I'm not sure what your history looks like. But for me,
(04:45):
that gave me an image of a man that I was growing up around who
I'd never felt like I measured up to. And so, you know, again,
with me, I I used to totally resonate with what you're talking about because I
thought that if I succeeded in business, all of that would go away. That the
fear of failure, that the imposter syndrome. And and for those people, you know, it's
a big title, but really imposter syndrome is just believing that you're not good
(05:06):
enough for what you're in, whether it's your job, your business, your relationship. Right? It's
that voice inside your head that says, you know, that you're you're gonna
fail. You know? But you're expecting bad things to happen. You're expecting
bad decisions or bad outcomes because you don't believe that you're capable
of succeeding in that area. Well, I thought
that when I succeeded, all of that would go away. When we had a business,
(05:29):
we sold it for a mid 6 figure, profit. And at the end of
the day, I had the same fear of failure at the end as I did
in the beginning. Same imposter syndrome. It's kinda the same thing. They're a little bit
different, but they really have the same outcome, which is me holding back and
believing that the worst is about to come. Right? That next business decision is
gonna be a tragedy or that next thing that I do is gonna be a
(05:50):
disaster. I'm gonna bankrupt the company or whatever. And maybe those are some of the
things that you're you've thought as well. And so that
really ties into the Life Mastery journey. What we talk about in life mastery
that I had to kind of unpack in my own life was either living from
who I was created to be or living from what my past and the pain
and the lies I believe have told me I was. That young man growing up
(06:12):
dealing with imposter syndrome, fear of failure was me living from what my past
told me, which was you're not good enough. You're not gonna measure up, you
know, with my dad and some school issues, some struggles in school where you didn't
feel like you were as smart as everybody else. You know, those things, they have
a mark on your life, and they tell you that you're not as good. And
so you grow up and you try and overcome them. Either either try and prove
(06:33):
them right or prove them wrong. You you prove them right by not even trying,
giving up, just, you know, kind of living life by default. Or you
try and prove them wrong by out succeeding them. But you
can't succeed your way out of fear or out of imposter
syndrome. It really is an identity statement. The reason I know this is
because I I work with and have conversation with people that are multimillionaires
(06:56):
who literally say out of their mouth, well, this fear of failure, I guess, is
just part of the journey. It's part of the process. It's what I need to
deal with, you know, even though I'm successful, and that's an absolute lie. The truth
of the matter is if you understand who you're created to be, then really like
you with your podcast, you with all that you're doing in in the audio and
video format is a person being unleashed into everything
(07:16):
that they're created for. The the mark of today versus the mark that I
was back then is now I don't worry about success or failure in my
business because they're not going to tell me who I am any longer. What
I understand is that what I get to do is invest me and know that
I'm the answer to whatever circumstance I'm walking into. I'm not the
question mark. That's kinda what I teach the people I work with, and that's something
(07:38):
I'd I'd hand off to anybody who's dealing with impostor syndrome. When you understand
who you are, the world doesn't have to make up the difference. But when you
don't know who you are, the world does. So you need to be successful. You
need to have everything perfect. Because if you and if it's not,
then like with myself in my early years and when I was trying to succeed
in business, you have that wrestling match with your thoughts. Right?
(08:00):
Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Definitely.
How do you help your clients identify and unlock their inner hero
through through your coaching approach? That's a great question. I
appreciate that. So first off, it starts with identity. I I tell
people all the time that my wife doesn't let me have a tattoo, but if
I had one, my tattoo would say identity is everything.
(08:22):
Because it is. As I said, you know, we already unpacked the the punch line
to this, which is you're either living from who you're created to be or what
your cast has told you. And so in that place, what we do is we
start with giving them some exercises. The first is an I am statement.
Right? The first strategy is create an I am statement, and the I am statement
is who you are apart from your stuff, which for most of us means that
(08:43):
we have to take a minute to try and figure it out. Because most of
us, myself included, would look at our job, our business, our title,
our income. Right? All of those things telling us who we are.
But you're really who you are apart from your things. My my my
outcomes and and my income and all of those things are not
who I am. They're an outcome of who I am. And so we tell them,
(09:05):
who are you? It's an I am statement. I'm a I'm a man of faith.
And so for me and the people who have, faith walk, I would say,
start with the conversation with God and say, hey, god. Who did you create me
to be? But the strategy works for whoever. When I
separate myself from the things I do and I start to unpack who I'm
created to be, my character, my my will, right, my
(09:26):
strength, and all of the things that make me me. Right? It's those things that
you're doing in your podcast. Right? Those those those things that you're doing
intellectually and, you know, cognitively. You're you're smart enough. You're
you're wise enough. You're skilled enough. Right? All of those things, the character parts of
who you are is who you are. They're just lived out in the things that
you do. We unpack it with an identity statement and say, who are you? And
(09:47):
then, I mean, to cut to the chase, the second thing we do is a
3 step transformational strategy, which is mastering your thoughts, words,
and actions. What I tell the people I work
with that most of them don't realize is who you think you are, you'll
become. And so I am today, you know, this this
right here in front of my microphone, in front of my camera, I am exactly
(10:09):
the person that I believed I was going to be. You can't be anything different
than that. You can you can hope you're somebody else. You can wish you're somebody
else. But, really, at the end of the day, what you believe you are on
the inside is who you'll become on the outside. And so for the guys
like myself and, you know, it sounds like that's a journey that you've been on
as well who are dealing with imposter syndrome, who are kinda standing in their way
(10:29):
of their own success. It's saying, hey. Okay. So I
start with who I'm created to be. Now we have now we have
a a script to tell ourselves. So what
I tell them is now now it's becomes an affirmation. What are you telling yourself?
It either aligns with who you say you are. And if you're a man
of faith or woman of faith, it aligns with who you and God have confirmed
(10:52):
you are, or it's lying to you. It there's no in between.
It's either you, who you created to be, or it's a lie. And so when
we give ourselves a strategy of starting to unpack it and and using a system
of mastering our thoughts first and foremost, now all of a sudden, when those
doubts come, I already have a weapon to come against them. You can't you can't
fight a war by training once you're in it. Yeah. And but that again,
(11:14):
by default versus design, part of our design is that mindset shift of saying, hey,
give yourself ammunition of truth in who you're created to be and your
capabilities before the doubts come, not after they show
up. Yeah. You you, you
talk you you you spoke on about living by design
versus living by default. And why is it
(11:36):
such a critical mind shift? Why is it such
a is it is it the is it it's something that,
I see, like, even myself struggle with. Why is it that why
is it difficult for for us to to do that to to
do that mind shift? Yeah. I think that's a great question. You know? And there's
a couple of ways that I would tackle it. The first is the difference between
(12:00):
life mastery and all of the personal development that I've actually tried myself.
So growing up, right, with the background I had and becoming a
young adult and believing that there was more there was more for me than the
life I was living, and there was more on the inside of me than I
was showing. Well, I I I you know, for me, and I'm sure a lot
of your your listeners, the people that are here are you go for personal
(12:22):
development. You go, you know, is there is that that the guru, that mentor, that
person out there that's got it all together. Right? And so I went for a
bunch of them. Yeah. Whatever was free or cheap or I could afford,
I went and grabbed a hold of them to try and implement them. Whatever books.
Right? 10, 12, 15 books I read on some sort of area of personal
development and self self growth. And what I found was
(12:43):
a guy of great change, but not transformation. And the
problem with change versus transformation is when you're changing,
basically, what you're doing is changing one habit for another. The
habit of disbelief or this negative mindset and thought
process that you have, you're you're using something to counteract it. And the
problem with changes, as soon as I stop the habit, I stop the progress.
(13:06):
And so for me, it was, first and foremost, something that
seemed exhausting. And the second challenge with it was that in a lot of the
programs that I saw, it was really typically, you know, find this person
who's amazing, act and speak and, you
know, do like that amazing person does, and then you'll become like them.
Well, the problem for me was I knew I wasn't them.
(13:29):
I wasn't going to be whoever. Like, I wasn't gonna be LeBron James. I
wasn't going to be Tom Brady. I wasn't gonna be Elon Musk. I wasn't gonna
be Beyonce. Right? Whoever that amazing person is. Right? Doesn't mean
that I can't have equal success, but I'm not them. So to try and
imitate them really just means me second best.
And in most cases, your mindset says you're not them. And you know what? Your
(13:51):
mind's right. But the pivotal shift from
design or from default to design really helps you to understand that I'm
not trying to imitate somebody else so I can be successful. I'm
not trying to use mantras to beat up my thought process, my
thoughts until they finally submit and stop telling me I'm a
failure. Basically, it starts with the unpacking of, hey. Who are you
(14:13):
created to be? It's the design of you. You're designed for an impact you're supposed
to have in the world. You're designed, as I said about myself, I tell that
to every one of my students, my clients, the people I work with. You're the
answer to every circumstance that you're walking into. You're not the
question to be figured out. You're the answer to be given. And what that
means is that you already are capable before you walk
(14:34):
into it. It doesn't mean you have all the skill sets. It doesn't mean you
have all the intellectual answers. What it means is that you're fully
capable of succeeding in everything that you step into. When
you change your mindset shift, when you understand your identity and walk
in as that person, now all of a sudden, instead of being your own
hindrance, instead of having to fight negative thoughts, instead of, you know, those failure
(14:56):
things and those moments where, you know, like myself in business, there were things
I could have done to really reach farther and go higher. But instead,
you kinda hold back because what if right? What if it fails? What if
the income isn't there? What if I tried this thing and the audience doesn't show
up? When you understand who you are, this design means that
I'm a person of impact. And as I unpack who I am as I
(15:18):
as I reveal, right, the hero in hiding and allow
that man, that woman to show up in every area of my life, well, the
answers will come. It's not you're not the question to be figured
out. You're the answer to be given into that circumstance.
Okay. Awesome.
(15:38):
What are some of the what are some of the biggest challenges you're seeing people
face when trying to achieve personal mastery, and and how
you guide them through it? Yeah.
You know, it it's some of those things that I talked about. You know, I
talked about my dad and his strong personality. I could also talk about school
and how I I remember a specific incident when I was in 1st grade
(15:59):
going into 2nd grade, being in a room with a teacher and my
parents and have her tell my parents that I wasn't
ready to get into the next grade. I wasn't ready to graduate to move forward
with everybody else in my class. So for this little young man that
was sitting there, right, 7, 8 years old, The thing that he
remembered, the thing that he believed was, I'm not as smart as everybody else.
(16:21):
I'm not as good. I'm not as capable. Right? I'm not as good as
everybody else in my class because I'm being told I can't move forward. My
parents chose not to hold me back in that grade. And, you know, I was
probably emotionally and relationally, you know, a bit immature for my age, which was, I
mean, goodness, less than 10 years old. So it wasn't a hindrance, but there
was an identity statement that I took into adulthood. And so for some of
(16:44):
my students as well well, frankly, for everybody. When I say that
you're either living from your identity or living from your past, I haven't met a
person yet who isn't who isn't living with some sort of
form of belief system that they had because of things that
happened in their family or or words that were spoken over them by somebody
who who said something that wounded them, whether they showed it on the outside or
(17:05):
not, there's an identity statement given on the inside. So for me, that young man
was you're not as smart as everybody else. And so you take that into
adulthood. And so what happens when you're in business and you don't
have enough income and the marketing isn't working and you have to figure out how
am I gonna pay salary for the people that we have in our employer. Right?
What do you think the thought process is that's happening in your head? Right? It's
(17:26):
the exact same thing you thought when you were younger. I'm not as smart as
everybody else. I'm gonna fail. I'm not I thought I could do it, but I
guess I was wrong. Right? So from the students that I have, it's a
realization that it's not just a personal circumstance. It's a
past identity that you're walking through and being willing to do that. I
tell the people that I work with that they're some of the bravest people I
know because most people ignore their past, act like it
(17:50):
doesn't matter, and it doesn't have an effect. The only people that know that it
has an effect is everybody else in their life as they're trying to
deal with stuff as, you know, ugly comes out in whatever way it
comes out. But the brave people that I work with are the ones who are
willing to say, I want to know how to become the person I'm created to
be and how to destroy the lies that I've believed. And unpacking it
(18:12):
from, you know, past experiences is where it happens for everyone.
What, one of, experience for me was,
I was raised by my mom. I was raised by a single mom.
And for many years,
my thing was I didn't I was like, okay. Why didn't my dad wanna be
(18:34):
a part of my life? Why didn't he want anything to do with me?
And so, after 25
years, I I reunited with my dad.
Oh, wow. And so it it was,
it was it was bittersweet because I reunited with my dad,
in, in May of 09. I
(18:57):
have 25 years of not seeing him. Yeah. I went
to see him that June, of 2,009,
Father's Day weekend. I went so I I landed in Puerto Rico
Friday, went to see him. We
spoke, and, we we just kind of
cleared the air, and I I I had I had forgiven
(19:20):
him years prior. But to actually be able to be
there and forgive him and and talk to him and find out why
why he didn't want, like, to for him to answer the questions of why
he wasn't a part of my life. And Yeah. And so that was kind
of, but it's because the next morning, he passed
away. Wow. And so so at least I I got some
(19:43):
type of closure from from him, and I spoke to him. And
and it was just that that was one of the men many issues for me
for many years is feeling
that I I wasn't worthy of him or Yeah.
Or just that feeling of and my mom did a
wonderful job. My mom was most she was most caring. I
(20:06):
didn't need anything. She she was always there.
But it's something different when you don't have your father in your life, and
and and you're always wondering, like,
why? Why didn't why didn't he want me? So that's something
that I kind of I feel that's something some of the issues that I've
I'm dealing with now, much well, when I'm much
(20:28):
older and everything, because it it still was something that probably,
deep inside, it was still festering Yeah. To somebody.
Like so that's why I kinda it it it it crept in there.
And and and, like I
said, I'm I'm dealing I was dealing with the imposter syndrome
(20:48):
and wondering, like, how am I how
am I capable of doing this? I'm not I'm I'm not good enough. So
all these all these self doubts and and talk. But
the more I start doing my podcast and the more I start speaking to people
and and these conversations, they're they're they're
to me, they were so rewarding and and fulfilling, and
(21:12):
and it's it's opening up a new,
open a new up open up new opportunities and open up Yeah. My
eyes to to what is truly around me, surrounding me, and
what's happening. And it feels great to be able
to tell you now that, oh, my my my
confidence from when I first started the podcast to now,
(21:34):
where I'm at now in my podcasting journey, it's so much
different. Like Yeah. Now, at first, when I first started, it was there
was some hesitation. There was some doubt. There was, like I said, there was
me questioning myself to where I am now, and and the response
that I get from people and the messages that I received from people was kinda
like, okay. You you are doing something good. You are you are
(21:56):
capable of doing this and and and and
being able to to have these
wonderful conversations and and listen to people like yourself
talk about your journey and then everything. Kinda
helps me on mine. I appreciate that. And and I appreciate
you, sharing vulnerably about your life. That's
(22:18):
that's a brave thing to do. So thanks so much, Will. And if I could
give you a couple of quick things. Mhmm. So unpacking
identity. Identity, we start with an I am statement, who are you created to be?
The second thing I have them do is create a celebration list. And it's not
a celebration list of the things you've done, but what you celebrate about you. The
question is, what do you love about you? And I tell them to put 20
(22:39):
together. I've done a 100. And and when it comes down to is what's the
things about you that you love. Right? So for me, you know, I love the
fact that I have blue eyes. I love the fact that I well, I'm taller
than my dad. I love the fact that I love chocolate, and I laugh easily.
I I love the fact that I have a sensitive heart, and I and I
don't watch Hallmark movies because of it because of it. You know? I love
that I like goofy humor. Right? What are the things you love about you? Because
(23:02):
it starts to unpack the understanding that you have worth and you have value apart
from what you give. Right? Your effort, your intellect, your
job, your business, all the things you do. And so it's a celebration list. The
second the second list we give is the accomplishment list. And this is where
you write down the things that you've done. And what I tell them to do
is write down 20. I've written over a 130 at this point.
(23:23):
And the thing is when you get past, like, 10, 15, 20, you've lost
all the big name stuff in your life, and then it comes down to things
like I pay my bills on time. I I show up to work every day,
and and and I want them to have a list longer than
the big marquee moments, the trophies in their life because it's in that place that
you start to figure out that you have a track record of success.
(23:45):
We don't realize it because we're waiting for those kind of Super Bowl and, you
know, it's the year of the Olympics. So waiting for that Olympic gold medal before
we celebrate the things that we've done. But the truth of the matter is there's
nobody a high, high level of success, especially athletics. If you look at
Olympians, there's nobody that's an Olympic gold medalist who hasn't
celebrated themselves locally, regionally, nationally, and then
(24:07):
internationally. But for us, we think that, oh, it's only when I get
to this place that I'm gonna have value and worth. If you celebrate yourself in
the small things, you'll find yourself in the big places. If you
don't celebrate yourself in the small things, then you'll hold yourself back from living
out the life that you're created for. So there's that identity piece. And then the
thing if I could quickly unpack this, we talk about
(24:29):
mastering your thoughts. And one of the things we do, I don't have time to
unpack it. I know on this program, we have 4 pillars of life mastery. The
4 areas that you live in, it's identity, experience, meaning, and emotion. I don't
have time to unpack them. They're in my book, life mastery living life by design.
I'd love to have another conversation some other time. But the one tool that I
wanna give you that was in my life that I would give you in yours
(24:49):
is looking at a past experience, and he's talked about it with your father
and understand. Okay? So for me, it was feeling like you're not as
smart as you're not as good as you're a failure waiting to happen. Well, when
did you first feel that? Well, this young man felt it in the 1st grade.
That's when he first felt like this was who he was. So we say
this when with the people we work with. When was the first time you felt
(25:11):
that emotion? And for me, it was then. Maybe for you, it was when you
are a young man or whatever the time was. Okay. Well, what was the lie
you believed in that circumstance? For me, it was I'm
not as smart as everybody else. For you, it may have been or some of
the listeners. It may have been like, they didn't love me because of
but what's the truth that you know? As an adult and a person that
(25:33):
understands your identity, what's the truth that you know? For me, it was that I
was momentarily, emotionally, not as mature
as everybody else. Did that mean that I wasn't a person of intellect and understanding?
No. I went on to do successful things and be great at all sorts of
things. But that identity statement doesn't leave until you destroy the
lie with the truth. And so for a person who feels like a
(25:54):
a family member has left or or somebody has wounded because they weren't
there in your life, the question is, what's the truth that you know?
And what I tell the people that I work with is it wasn't a value
statement on who you are and your value as a as a son or
daughter. It was a statement of where they're at and
their incapability to become a parent. And
(26:17):
so when you understand that truth, now all of a sudden, some of those
outcomes of those lies, of that feeling of insecurity and all that can lead because
now I know what the truth is, and I know that it wasn't my issue.
It was theirs. But I tell the people I work with really quickly at the
end is we don't ever tell you that your past doesn't matter,
that your hurt doesn't count, and that you just need to get over it. But
(26:39):
what we invite you to do is not let it tell you who you are
anymore. That's
that's awesome. Yeah. I I agree with that. That's
so you you emphasize the concept of being the hero in one's
life. Yeah. How can someone begin to to
step into that role if they feel stuck or unsure of
(27:01):
their purpose? Yeah. Absolutely. Well, it's it's
the stages and steps that we talked about. Yeah. Right? Those three steps in
in identifying your identity, right, who you're created to be. It's
it's using that as your conversation and your thoughts. Right?
Mastering your thoughts, words, and actions. It's reminding yourself
daily who you are until you see that man or that woman show up.
(27:22):
So as I start to unpack identity, as I start to overcome some of
the lies of my past, as I continue to remind myself who I am, now
all of a sudden that guy shows up at the job when there's a stressful
situation, and normally he would blow up or he would just shrink back and
say whatever or in relationship in life and business, whatever the area that
it is. When you're confident in who you are, that person shows up and you're
(27:44):
willing to give answers. You're willing to have hard conversations. You're willing to
make uncomfortable decisions. And it's in the reminding of yourself.
Right? You master your thoughts, words, and actions. 1st off, feed your thoughts. Who are
you created to be? We have, like, 60. What did, estimates are 50
to 70000 thoughts a day. Most of them are subconscious.
You know, you and I getting on this call and all this. We made several
(28:06):
decisions we weren't even aware of just to get things plugged in and ready to
go. Yeah. It's the normal part of life. But there's those thoughts that we do
have when stress happens, when we're trying to get ready or do
something, those things that are talking to us and telling us who we are. Well,
when you counteract it with the truth of who you are, now all of a
sudden, that man or woman shows up. It changes your decisions, it changes
your actions, and it changes the outcomes. We could talk about mastering your words
(28:29):
and actions as well, but it's really using those tools to live it
out. And then, of course, you know, the other tool that we use is master
in the unpacking of the 4 pillars of life mastery.
Understanding that it's not the experience you have, it's the meaning you give it. And
the meaning you typically give it is an identity statement about you.
That young man who was in a conversation or listening to a conversation where
(28:51):
his parents and teacher were saying, you know, hey. You may not be ready to
the go to the next grade. Right? The meaning wasn't, oh, I need to
worry about school, one grade versus another. The meaning was an identity
statement that says you're not as good as. And it's
in that place that when you create a meaning that aligns with who you're created
to be, not your past and your pain, now all of a sudden that person
(29:13):
shows up, and now all of a sudden they empower you. So even if you
have bad experiences, horrible experiences, tragic experiences,
you can rise above them, not have them drag you down.
Yeah. Yeah. You're absolutely right.
A lot of people, struggle with self talk
(29:35):
with with with how they speak to to themselves.
Yeah. We can be really we can be really cruel to
ourselves in in some of the statements that we make, and a lot of it
comes from
other people's beliefs. It it comes from what a lot of people have said to
us throughout the years that we're stuck with, that we're
(29:56):
stuck, like, with with that in our heads with, yeah, maybe they're right. I am
not. I am I'm probably not smart enough, or I'm not athletic
enough, or I'm not capable of doing such things.
Yeah. How does someone with
especially with I don't a lot of you explained a lot of that,
but it's it's still something that that a lot
(30:18):
of people really truly do get struggle with
where they they can't they don't know how to
Overcome it. Yeah. Yeah. How to begin? Where where to start? Where is the first
step to them starting of how do I get out of it?
How how do I get these limited beliefs off get off
of get them off me and and and start believing in in in
(30:42):
Yeah. In myself. Yeah. Absolutely. You know? And that's a
great question, Will. And it comes back down to an identity statement. Who do you
say you are? Because here's the interesting thing. Scientifically, it's
proven that you can only have one thought at a time. You can have thoughts
after thoughts. Right? We have, like I said, 50 to 70,000 of them. But the
truth of the matter is you can't entertain 2 thoughts in in one single
(31:04):
process. And so life by design versus life by
default. Life by default is I need to manage my thoughts when they come up.
I need to try and, you know, occupy my mind with something else. I need
to, you know, I need to figure something out. If you're a a person that
feel like myself, you'll you'll grab your favorite scripture. And when you're
fearful, you'll bring that thing out. Well, the problem is when you're fighting a
(31:24):
battle and using a weapon after you're in the battle, you're
in you're in you're in trouble. But when you actually feed yourself ahead of
time, now all of a sudden you give yourself ammunition for the battle. Right? You
don't train for the battle after you're in it. You train before you go. And
so for us, it's really bringing affirmations into your life with your
truth. Most affirmations are just generic things that people
(31:46):
are saying over themselves that have no basis in who they're created to be. You
know, I am worthy. I am worthy. I'm worthy. I'm a millionaire. I'm a millionaire.
I'm a millionaire. Right? Generics generic mantras that you
use as if they're going to change your life. What's the difference in what
we do is you create affirmations from your identity, who you're created to be, who
you believe you are, who you see yourself to be. So when
(32:07):
you're speaking those things out, you're actually just speaking truth over yourself,
not some hopeful image of something that you could be someday.
You're speaking who you're created to be and in that place because you can't have
more than one thought at a time. If I occupy myself with the truth,
the lie has no place or no time to get in. And when I do
recognize that there's a lie there, I'm not finding it with some generic
(32:31):
hopeful, you know, magic formula. I'm actually
speaking truth over myself and celebration list.
I'm bringing myself this foundation of you're a person worthy to be
celebrated and loved. An accomplishment list. You have a track
record of accomplishment in your life. You wake up and you brush
your teeth. You get ready for whatever you're doing, work, job, business, school,
(32:54):
and you get out there and do it. Well, not everybody does that. So while
you say that's ordinary, everybody does. Well, no. They don't. And if you
celebrate yourself in those things, what you see is that from the time I wake
up until I go to bed, I have moments of success throughout the
entirety of my day. When you start to see a perspective like that
and challenges come up, you have much more confidence that you can actually
(33:15):
accomplish those things. And when you understand that you're the answer, now you start to
have confidence that you're gonna show up in ways that are gonna bring answers and
solutions and decisions that are gonna drive you towards the life that
you're created for. And and, yeah, now that I hear
you saying it, like, there there are those generic affirmations where they're
like, oh, I'm a millionaire. I'm with but if you
(33:37):
you've if you don't believe that, it's not gonna
it's not gonna work. So it is it is important for you to, like
I I know I'm a, I'm a caring
person. I I know I'm someone who who I'm very supportive
of of my friends and my family and everything. So you
I I feel like I would
(34:00):
use those kind of type of affirmations to to really to to
to basically the stuff that I truly know about myself that I
that I like like, there's all these
affirmations, like, oh, I I'm gonna talk
about, stuff that you
truly don't believe in. And when you I I I actually
(34:23):
agree with what you're saying where if you focus on stuff that you
know about yourself that are that are positive and and and and
reinforce those those affirmations that that that
that'll definitely help you more than something you you won't
that you truly don't believe. Yeah. Absolutely. And check this
out. The truth of the matter is a lot of times our
(34:45):
affirmations are really just outcomes. Meaning this, we're looking for dollar
signs. We're looking for possessions. Right? Having that amazing car,
that Lamborghini. Right? Those things that you have, your your dream list, your
dream board, whatever you wanna call it. And at the end of the day, when
you're trying to go for things to prove who you are, you'll find yourself
lacking. As you know, we all know people who are got great net worth
(35:07):
and their life's a disaster. So success doesn't change who you
are. But when I start to use affirmations that are who I'm created to
be, now that person shows up and check this out, Will. When I do
that, now all of a sudden, the outcome of my business decision doesn't
determine what my value and worth is. If I'm a person of
compassion and integrity and love and strength, and I
(35:29):
get a ticket on the way home in the car of whatever,
speeding ticket, or I do a I create a business decision and it
doesn't work out well, and we have to back out and it costs us some
money. Well, those things are business decisions apart from who I am. They don't
tell me who I am. So I'm not a failure when those things happen. I'm
not foolish or whatever the thing is because my identity tells me
(35:50):
who I am apart from my activities. You separate yourself from the
things you do and you separate yourself from the outcomes you gain and in that
place, you can show up without being stressed, without being
worried, without being fearful because what I know about Will is you're
showing up as that person of compassion and integrity and care and
love. And what if something doesn't go right? Does that
(36:12):
steal those characteristics from you now? No. You're still that same guy coming
in as you were going out. Yeah. And so in that place, you're
unshakable as the person you're created to be. And the truth of
the matter is you have much higher levels of success because at that place, we're
not the thing holding ourselves back. We're the one unleashing ourself.
That hero in hiding that we talked about. The hero in hiding isn't some, you
(36:34):
know, idealized version of somebody you wanna be. It's the person you
were created to be living out in every area of your life.
Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. What what do you
what do you think is one of the most important qualities a person must cultivate
to be successful in both their personal life and career?
(37:00):
Personal qualities. That's a really interesting question. I appreciate
that. I I I think one of the one of
the earmarks of people who are successful in doing what I invite them
into this life mastery journey is is not giving up on
themselves. And, frankly, anybody of any high level of
success, that's the one thing through failure and success that they did
(37:22):
consistently was they believed in themselves. Not necessarily
believed in the product. Not that they didn't believe in their business or the thing
that they were doing, but whether that business failed or succeeded, they knew
that they were meant for more, and they were willing to put
themselves out there as I say with the people I work with to bet on
themselves until they make it happen. Whether it's in this job
(37:43):
or that job and then this business or that business. I haven't read of
anybody that I've read who was highly successful that was hitting a
home run on their first go around. That had everything come
fall into line with no challenges, no issues. Right?
No no business hiccups, no failures that were financially
devastating or whatever. Right? They've all had those challenges
(38:05):
that led to the successes in their life. But the one thing that was in
common and the one thing that the people I work with have done is being
willing to bet on yourself until you find that solution, find
that avenue for you to be able to express the passion
and the impact that you're supposed to have in the world.
Yeah. My
(38:27):
nephew said something, to me, at one at one
point because he he saw that I
was I was doing some I was doing so
so great in the podcast and everything. He's like, but he says he says, yo,
I need you to do something. He says, I need you to celebrate the small
accomplishments. He says, I need you to celebrate
(38:48):
all the little things. He says, it's great to get celebrate all the big things,
but, he says, I need you to celebrate the little things. I need you to
celebrate the fact that you got a 100 downloads. I need you to celebrate
that you had 20 views on on a certain. He says
celebrate all of that. He says, because when you appreciate the small
things, it's easier
(39:10):
when the big things do happen. Yeah.
Yeah. Absolutely. And that's something that that stuck with me throughout through the
years, and it's like, okay. He he's right. He's I I
need to I need to celebrate the small things because
those are just as important as the big things. Yep. Absolutely.
It's that accomplishment list we talked about. Right? Yeah.
(39:34):
Yeah. It is. It's definitely is. So as a
coach, how how do you balance helping people work on both their
personal and professional lives, and how intricate are these
two aspects? That's a great question. What
I tell people is I don't I don't help you work on your business.
I help you work on you and your business. Because, again, if we
(39:57):
start with the foundation of identity, right, and then we walk through the
things that help you to unleash that person that you're created to be well, that
guy and or that woman shows up in every area of your life.
The same guy that shows up with full confidence and assurance
that that he's capable of succeeding in his business, that he's gonna have an impact,
and this thing is gonna make a difference in the world is the same man
(40:19):
who can come home and have a nurturing, caring,
loving relationship with his with his spouse or or be able to be
the father and the the the coach and the leader and the
encourager for his children as well. Right? It's the same person that shows up
everywhere. The challenge with a lot of people I work with is they think that
you can compartmentalize your life. And so what they do is they they have to
(40:40):
stress at business, and they're trying to succeed at it. And the the weight of
the things that are going on there, they they are the only one that doesn't
realize that affects their home. And and it's not because, you
know, one affects the other. It's because the same person is walking into both.
Well, I don't need to change you in your relationship. If I can change
you as a person, that changes your relationship. When I tell
(41:03):
people about my spouse, my wife, I've been married 33 years at,
at the end of this year. I'll be married 33 years. And I tell people
that my wife is not a necessity in my life. She's a benefit.
See, she's a benefit because I know exactly who I am. If she was
a necessity, that would mean that I I would need her to be okay with
me. If you don't know who you are, your world has to make
(41:24):
up the difference. And in relationship, if I don't know who I am, then my
wife has to make up the difference. And she has to make for up for
my insecurities and fears and the things that I deal with. And by the way,
that was part of the journey as I was walking towards life mastery before
I created the course and lived it out and did the things that I did.
I created the course after I lived it out. But, you know, in that journey,
(41:45):
you know, with 33 years, she met me before. I there was a before me
and then after me, and she met me on the way. And so in that
place, when you show up as who you are, your spouse gets the ability to
show up as who they are, and your relationship is amazing. It's the same
attributes. It's the same characteristics that make you a
successful business person. Not this not, you know, not the skills, not
(42:06):
the, you know, the the do's and don'ts and the nuts and bolts of what
it takes to run a business. But, really, it doesn't matter what you're walking into.
What I tell people is your character is your calling. Whether it's in your business
or in your relationship or at home or with friends or whatever, it's the you
that's showing up that makes the difference. It's not some sort of understanding
of how to do accounting or or how to have, you know, the best conversation
(42:29):
with your wife. It's that guy showing up or that woman showing up in every
area of your life. We change that person to who you're created to be, it'll
affect you across the board. We talk about in life mastery 5 areas
of life mastery. It's a spiritual, relational, vocational, physical,
financial. Life happens in 5 spheres, we say, and it's in those
areas that all of life happens. Well, I change you in one
(42:50):
area. I change you in all of them. You're the same person showing up
physically and and trying to be that person of, you know, worth and value in
that place of giving yourself longevity. Financially, being able to not
just, you know, make income, but invest income and actually give income so that
you have generosity as part of who you are and and a relationship in all
the other areas. You're that same person. I change you. I
(43:12):
help you change yourself really to the living a life mastery
life. It affects every area. Awesome.
Well well, Mark, it comes we've come to the
time where you get to the solo screen and you get to
plug away and let everybody know where they can find you, where they can
(43:33):
get the book, everything. Sounds great.
Well, I'm a one stop shop, so you can find me at freedom
dash 4 dash life dot net. It's www.freedom
dash 4 dash life dot net. Out there, you can find my book, life master
living life by design, not by default. You can find my course life mastery. There's
also a free discovery tool on my website. It's quick forty questions.
(43:56):
You give quick answers. You take your score at the end, and it'll show where
you're at in your life mastery journey and what next step you can take in
that life mastery journey. That's all that freedom dash 4 dash life.net.
One last thing I would probably say is this. The thing I said about 10
minutes ago, 5 minutes ago was bet on yourself. I
I've tried a bunch of different courses and books, and I didn't find any that
(44:18):
really brought transformation, but a lot of them that brought change. And so I created
one con could be called life mastery and created the book called life
mastery as well. But the one thing I did throughout that was really the thing
that led me to being able to stay in it long enough was betting on
myself. If you bet on yourself, the resource will be out there for you to
have that transformational journey so that the fear of failure, imposter syndrome,
(44:40):
or whatever the challenge is that's standing in your way won't stand in your way
any longer. If you bet on yourself, everything else will come into line. We have
the course for you, but I can have the best course available. If you're unwilling
to bet on yourself one more time, you won't find it. But if you do,
you're gonna have the life that you're created for, and it's going to be amazing.
Is that the book in the background? It is. Life Mastery, living
(45:02):
life by design, not by default. Alright.
That goes everybody make sure y'all go out there and get the book and,
definitely support Mark and and and and what he's doing. Oh,
thank you so much, Mark, for being a guest. I greatly appreciate it. This has
been wonderful. I've actually I've never really spoken about my
father. So until I I appreciate that. This episode,
(45:25):
especially especially on how I felt about him
of how I felt growing up not having him. But it it it was,
something I I needed to ex express and and talk about this
episode. So thank you. Absolutely. I appreciate your authenticity,
and thanks so much for having me on. Oh, the pleasure's all mine. It's,
you you're welcome to come back. I I love having return
(45:47):
guests. It's, it's great to have people come back on after,
after they after if you ever decide to write another book or
if we create another program, you definitely, can hit me send me a message, and
I would love to have you come back on and promote it and and talk
about what you got else going on. That would be a phenomenal. I'd love it.
Thanks so much. Thank you. Thank you. It'll leave you just yet. Let
(46:09):
me close out show and and we'll chat a little bit off the air.
But, again, thank you so much for, stopping by and,
sharing sharing the information you have and and and
everything you're doing out there is amazing. So continue to,
shine bright and and continue to help the people out there that that that need
your help. Thanks so much. I definitely will. Looking forward to talking
(46:32):
again. Alright. Another great
episode in the books. I I'm so happy to have
had Mark on the show. I'm, I'm grateful,
especially on International Podcast Day. So shout out to everybody
out there on, all the independent podcasters out there doing
what you're doing. Continue to shine bright, guys, because,
(46:55):
you're you're you're amazing. And, a lot of you out there
are are are filling in with the podcast that you have created, and I'm
so proud of, a lot of you guys out there. As always, big shout
out to my RealWise fam, Papi j, Brandy j. Love you guys.
Shout out to the boss lady. I love you and appreciate you.
Shout out to Mark Collins for coming through and and sharing his
(47:18):
story and and and sharing his knowledge with us.
And as always, a big, big shout out to everybody in the audience,
all the essential workers out there. God bless y'all. Be safe. You
know how your boy, Wise, does it? Peace out.
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