108. How to Stay Purpose-Driven as a Family

Have you ever wished you had more purpose in your daily family time?  Maybe you are tired of battling with your kids over WHY you set the boundaries you set.  

And maybe you are finally ready to focus on the long-term character qualities you want your kids to have when they are 25.

Today we explore how creating a family mission statement provides direction for making parenting decisions and helps articulate values that guide your family. This approach transforms difficult conversations with children by referencing shared values rather than arbitrary rules.

By the time you finish listening, you will know:

• Why a Mission Statement for your Family is valuable, and can decrease daily arguments. 

• How to use your mission statement as a reference point during difficult discussions about privileges or behavior.

• Consider resources like "Choose Intentionally" character cards to help discuss values with children.: https://chooseintentionally.com/collections/all/products/copy-of-family-intention-kit-1

If you enjoyed this episode, remember to subscribe, leave us a review and share it with others that you think would benefit from sustainable parenting. 

And if you've been wanting to dive in deeper, you can always make a clarity call with me via the link below.

✨Want more?

1) Use this link for a FREE 20 min clarity call with Sustainable Parenting.

2) Download the FREE pdf. on getting kids to listen.

3) Buy a 3 session Coaching Bundle (saving you $100) - for THREE 30-min sessions 1:1 with ME, where we get right to the heart of your challenges, and give you small, powerful shifts that make a huge difference fast.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Do you ever wish you could have a little more
direction in your family aboutwhy you say no to certain things
, like when your kids arebegging you for more screen time
or to have a cell phone or aStanley cup or whatever the
thing may be something to fallback on?
That's sort of a third partybad guy that says these are our

(00:20):
family values, and this is whywe're making this choice A, so
that it could help you have lessarguments and.
B, so that you feel like yourfamily is constantly moving in a
purpose-centered direction.
Well, friend, today's episodeis for you, where we're going to
talk about how to make a familymission statement and why it's

(00:41):
important.
Hello and welcome to theSustainable Parenting Podcast.
Let me tell you, friend, thisplace is different.
We fill that gap between gentleparenting and harsh discipline
that's really missing to parentwith kindness and firmness at
the same time, and give you theexact steps to be able to parent

(01:02):
in ways that are more realisticand effective and, for that
reason, finally feel sustainable.
Welcome.
First of all, let's talk aboutwhy it's important to have a
family mission statement, andlet me just be clear right up

(01:31):
front that, if you're notsomeone who's about wordsmithing
an exact phrase, like you mayhave had to do for a nonprofit
or a business, so that there'sthis perfectly crafted mission
statement.
Mission statements can also bebullet points, key values that
you're talking about regularlywith your family.
So please know that, as we'retalking about this today, I'm
using mission statement in sortof a rough, loose term, saying

(01:52):
some sort of phrasing or talkingabout your values regularly
with your kids in a way that'supfront and they know those
values.
But please feel free to eitherput it into a really cute and
they know those values, butplease feel free to either put
it into a really cute, short,two sentences or have it be some

(02:13):
bullet points or a word cloudor whatever feels valuable for
you.
The reason it's important tohave discussions with your kids
about values is if we don't knowwhere we're going, it's really
hard to get there, and I can saythat I see time and again.
Some of the frustration aroundparenting is we get
short-sighted.
We get where we're just tryingto get today to be as easy as

(02:36):
possible, to decrease theoverwhelm, the frustrating
moments, and so we can get intojust wanting our kids to be
obedient and quiet andcontrolled so that we can just
get dinner on the table, we canjust finally go to sleep, you
know, so that we can just getthrough life, and absolutely
there is a lot of importance tothat.

(02:57):
And, at the end of the day,though, our point of parenting
is we're trying to raise humanswe're really proud of.
We're trying to raise goodhumans that, at the age of 25,
are going to be respectful,responsible, fun to be around,
contributing to society and ableto maintain successful
relationships.
So, in that vein, we have tohave a direction we're going

(03:21):
towards in order to ever getthere, to have a direction we're
going towards in order to everget there, and so naming our
values is one key way to makesure we're going in the
direction of a bigger purpose.
How do you make a missionstatement?
So, first of all, I wouldrecommend you sit down with your
partner or sit down withyourself, if you're a single
parent and brainstorm the valuesand character traits that are

(03:44):
important for you, that you wantyour kids to have when they are
25.
Do you want them to berespectful, creative, able to
experience a joyful, healthylife?
What is important to you?
Brainstorm and just let yourmind flow, and then come

(04:06):
together or boil it down byyourself as to what are the top
five that feel most central tothe core of your family values.
So when you've boiled it downto your top five or so, with
some flexibility, if youabsolutely need a few extras,

(04:29):
then I would recommend you havea family meeting with kids that
are older than four and sayhere's the thing we've decided.
We want to have a missionstatement, some key direction of
what our family's all aboutthat can help us answer
questions when we're debatingwhether we're going to, you know
, watch more TV, or we are goingto have phones or whatever the

(04:53):
difficult discussions might be.
Or if you're wondering why wetake time to go camping together
and not just stay home and vegwith our friends.
We want to make a purposestatement and we want your help,
and so what that looks like iswe'd like to hear what are the
top words that come to mind thatare important to you to be able

(05:17):
to use to describe our family,and you may need to help them a
little.
You can look online and getsome good lists of character
values or family values.
They may be religious, they maybe focused on the earth, they
may be focused on justice andsocial justice, whatever is

(05:37):
important to your family, youcan get out those words and
share some suggestions.
Do we want to be a familythat's making sure everyone
always feels safe with us?
Do we want to be a family thatis fun and playful?
Do we want to be a familythat's welcoming?
And write down as many words asyou can that your family agrees
that you're about, and then youcan boil it down from there to

(06:01):
craft a mission statement.
Again that might be an actualtwo sentences.
We in this family value X, y Zand it's important to us that
we're going to do X, y Z in theworld and we are going to show
our values through ABC actions,something like that.
And then I recommend putting itup on the wall, maybe even

(06:25):
making a crest, like the oldfashion practice in England
where you would have a crestwith symbols that represent
those ideas.
That can be especially coolwith younger kids that you have
something visual that showspictures and not just words to
represent the things that areimportant to you.
And you can put up that crestfamily crest that you've created

(06:47):
and or the words or phrasesyou've come up with, and then
it's a grounding point to beable to come back to time and
again when you're havingdifficult discussions about how
we treat each other and thetypes of privileges or
technology things we're going tohave in our life, that it's
going to be able to come back tothese key foundational concepts

(07:09):
.
And if you're looking for anadditional tool to help you, I
want to just recommend a toolthat's called Choose
Intentionally, and this is aresource that was brought to
being by another mom here inMontana who has a business with
these great people charactercards that have a key phrase on

(07:32):
the front like I choose to be agood friend today, and then on
the back has several key waysthat we can act that out, ways
that we as parents can coach ourchild in that value, and ways
we can circle back to check inon if the child has been
practicing that value.
I think it's just so importantthat we seek resources to be

(07:56):
talking about character,involving character, in our
discussions with our kids, sothat we can be moving towards
that direction.
If we do not know where we'retrying to head, we are never
going to get there.
All right, friend, I hope thisserves you again in ways that
give you tools to parent withkindness and firmness at the

(08:17):
same time.
So parenting finally feelssustainable.
And remember, as always, if youenjoyed this episode, remember
to subscribe, leave us a reviewand share it with others that
you think would benefit fromsustainable parenting.
And if you've been wanting todive in deeper, you can always
make a clarity call with me viathe link in the show notes.

(08:37):
See you next week.