July 16, 2024 • 21 mins
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Coming at you with my detox tea! In my healed and healing journey, the word that came to me a lot recently was "amalgamation." You know like how Taco Bell and KFC sometimes combine in one store, but their menus are still separate? It's like that.
In business and relationships, what you want is amalgamation - not assimilation. You don't want to lose yourself in the combination. Collaboration and cooperation is great and necessary, but it needs to be about mutual growth, not dissolving identities.
I offer 1-to-1 training to help you find the systems, train the people, make it work and provide the best customer service in your salon. Send me a DM on Instagram to learn more! https://www.instagram.com/patricestar
Find out more about Patrice's courses and faves on her website https://www.thedesignstudiomd.com/
Music credit: LA Nightlife by Full Frontal Audio
A Subito Media production
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Welcome back to the most randomest podcast ever.
Y'all, I'm telling y'all, Ireally enjoy talking to y'all
and sharing what I makediscoveries in a week.
Be it when I'm talking to myclients, I'm talking to friends,
like I'm reading something or myown little self, Healing
(01:04):
meditations that I do throughoutthe week on different days and
at a time when shit is crazy.
She has been so crazy out here.
lately that I've been trying tojust look for the bright side of
things and anybody who knows me,it's like, I'm always looking
for the bright side because shecan be crazy.
(01:26):
Like who wants to be dealingwith like all the negativity,
right?
So, y'all know I'm random, butsince I spoke to y'all last,
right, I done made some newdiscoveries of some Patrician,
cause y'all know I be Patrician.
So I have been in this stage ofwhat's next.
(01:49):
Like, where, where am I going?
What's happening?
You hit an age when you havedone so much, you've
accomplished so much, but thenwhat?
Right?
And it's not always like you gotto be busy, but there are levels
to this shit.
So even though I've been workingin this healing, I've been
thinking about business.
Where does the business go fromhere?
my meditations and I am a veryspiritual woman, so I listen to
(02:16):
the signs and synchronicitiesthat the universe gives me
because they be telling you someshit.
They be like, hey girl, hey, andI be like, hey, and I'm
listening and we be having aconversation and I'm like, hey,
I get it.
This is what it is.
It's showing me things.
It's enlightening, but I reallyhave been paying attention to
(02:37):
the signs around me.
Got this?
So, today's, tea, enlighteningtea, is coming with, I made a
detox tea, because I'm ready togo through this detox and trying
to get set up for it.
So, Get set up for the detox tocome, but in a recent moment of
(03:00):
my what's next question, a wordcame across my path and the word
is amalgamation.
Now, anybody who also knows meis that when I was younger, I
had a little list.
And so certain words will messyou up.
This word had come up before,but I didn't pay attention to it
like I did this time.
(03:21):
And I was like, I couldn't sayit before.
Now I can.
Like, I mean, before I wouldjust stumble over it and I was
like, ah, but now I'm like, whatis this?
It keeps like, Hey, now Iconduct a lot of shit in my life
like business because I am anumbers girl.
I'm a hustler I do what I do,but everything runs like a
business for me and sometimes Ifound that in relationships
(03:42):
That's how I would like tofunction But I am and I hope
everybody out here believes thatthey are the shit.
I am the shit for Patrice I'm myown kind of thing, right?
I'm my own entity.
And amalgamation is a word thatmeans it's the result of
(04:07):
combining or uniting.
And a lot of times this word isused in business is because it's
when two separate entities cometogether to make.
another entity or a biggerentity where we grow and we
still become one.
It's almost like, you know, theKFC taco bell.
(04:27):
They, you still could get yourchicken.
You can still get a taco, butyou know, you're at the same
drive thru and they cametogether.
And that's just the simplestform.
Y'all don't judge me.
I just try to make it, you know,plain for the people that are on
the same page.
But the word itself has beenlike, Hmm.
Because that's, that's where thenew space that I have been in,
in terms of growth, is that youwant to remain who you are while
(04:52):
you combine with someone else tobecome a better whole,
uplifting, uniting.
And I want that in the businessbecause I'm also finding that
working in a suite right now,being in the beauty industry,
everybody is so freakingseparated.
And it's like, you could walkpast somebody and not even know
(05:13):
that they a stylist or a beautyprofessional or whatever they
may do.
People don't speak.
Some people aren't pleasant.
It's weird as fuck.
I don't even know why they likethis.
But we've become so separated,but it also keeps us stagnant.
But when I was thinking about itwith the business and coming up
with some ideas of what's next,amalgamation is here.
(05:35):
Like, I want to be my own entityand I want to combine with
somebody else and then we'redoing something great to get to
the next level.
Well, a little later in the day,even though that, that, that
whole conversation sparked somethings that my brain is churning
business is about to dosomething completely different.
Right?
But when we, when we apply thatword to, relationships, And as
(06:03):
we grow, I'm noticing and thatyou hear people who have been in
these long term relationships ormarriages for so long, and then
they are like parting orquestioning, should we be
together?
And imagine those people whohave been married for more than
half of their lives, or in thisrelationship for more than half
(06:25):
of their lives, and it doesn'tmatter how old they are, just
period, old or young, andthey've been in these long term
relationships, but as you grow,you learn more about yourself,
and so does your partner, butthen where you are, you have to
then reconnect to make thatwhole relationship.
(06:47):
Continue to grow because I meanshoot if I got if I would have
gotten married back when I gotengaged at 24 Shit, I ain't the
same person It'd be like allowme to reintroduce myself because
I am not patrice at 24 When Iwas engaged, I am not the same
(07:08):
person.
So it would have to be like, whoam I now?
What are we doing?
And sometimes when we're in thechange, and I was saying this to
a client, when we are in theseason of shift, right?
So I'm in this, I want to dosomething different.
Rediscovering me.
Who is Patrice outside of beingmom, business, hairstylist,
(07:31):
teacher, whatever that is.
Who is she now?
What would we like to do in thisstage of our lives?
of my life.
And I guess when we get to thosestages and you are with someone,
that question is, is because I'mbored.
I want you to do what I do.
You need to do what you do.
(07:51):
Why can't I be who I am?
You be who you are and we go begreat.
Those are the connections that Ifeel grow and are amazing.
But when I think about, I wouldlike an amalgamation type of
relationship for myself, youknow, being single and this is a
wonderful season of my life.
I've realized I want to be, Iwant somebody to appreciate
(08:14):
Patrisse for Patrisse because Iam, you know, a whole verb,
Patrisse be Patrisse and I wantto be able to respect and
appreciate them for being theirown entity.
And then we come together, andwe, it'll be amazing.
We got a whole KFC Taco Belldrive thru.
We gon be the shit! But whydon't connections work like
(08:39):
that?
Why don't we even see it likethat?
Like, I don't want to be likesomeone else.
I ain't never been that type ofperson either.
Not even from a kid.
I've never been like nobodyelse.
Can't nobody be like me.
And Why is it that we can't justcome together, be who we are,
(09:01):
and proceed forward?
Now, I remember dating someonewho was really focused on the
demise of, like, all of theirfriends um, relationships.
And would mention things like,well, yeah, you know, a friend
of mine, he, he about ready todivorce his wife because she's
messy.
(09:23):
And he is all about being aclean neat freak, and I was
like, and the way that my friendat the time would talk about it,
it was like, you know, they weredefinitely siding with the
husband on this, like, you know,sometimes you gotta roll out,
and I said, well, this ain't nonew shit.
He knew this before he marriedher.
There wasn't no surprise.
(09:45):
And now it's her fault for beingher?
Or he wants things to bedifferent?
But it's her fault?
He buried her.
And the look at me was like, andI see, like, she does her thing
and why don't he just be greatif he be the cleaner and maybe
she's the shopper.
But instead of respecting herfor the entity that she is and
(10:06):
allow his strong suits to takeover where he is strong, he'd
rather dissolve the union.
Because it's such a problem, andit's like, what kind of shit is
that?
You know, like, if you love me,boo, like, love me for me.
You married me, and so maybe Idon't understand it.
(10:26):
I ain't even married either,because some people are getting
your damn nerves when you got aunion, you're in the same house.
I don't know, I ain't never beenmarried, but, you know, that's
me from the outside.
That seems like it could be somuch simpler in our
communication and our energy.
But it was funny as to how theywould focus on that.
Like, when you look at it fromthe outside, what is it that
(10:50):
prevents her from listening tohis needs?
Is it the communication?
What are they doing?
I hope they work it out.
But him telling you ain't goingto change the situation.
What do you do with that?
But in that little minor rant,it made me think about some
connections where I know thatI'm a bit shiny, and shiny in
(11:14):
personality because we'vealready talked about it.
I'm going to tell y'allsomething since I last chatted
with y'all.
Several people was like, Ithought you was at least 5'7 and
I was like, I am.
All in my mind, because you knowI'm coming tall, and I do, and
this isn't, and it's funny, butsomebody's like, you're mine,
you ain't that tall, I say it inmy mind.
(11:36):
I'm not that tall, but I dobelieve that I am big in
personality and in height, sowhen you look at me, it is, I am
taller than what the numberssay.
Because I believe in me.
I am me.
But I have had connections withsome people.
Because I'm shiny, it attractspeople who may not be able to
(11:56):
handle that kind of light.
So they want to dim it.
And transform it into somethingelse.
And I was sitting here thinkingabout some things of, like, the
past.
And, you know how you have somepeople that give you those
little backwards asscompliments?
Where they, they make it likeit's a compliment, but really
(12:18):
it's not.
Or it's a compliment, but it isto make you kind of think.
So, I remember having thisconnection, and oh my gosh, I
used to be like, oh, my babyjust loves it when I'm just
natural.
And sometimes I could belooking, you know, I had some
crackhead waves where my, myhair could be all over the
(12:39):
place.
And at that time, my baby usedto be like, I love it when your
hair wild, or I love that youdon't have to wear a lot of
makeup or that you don't.
And you, at one point you'd belike, dang, that's such a nice
compliment.
Thanks babes for appreciating meand my crackhead days.
But then it was like.
Hmm, when I got dressed up or weare going out or is something
(13:03):
we're going to the complimentsdidn't come in the same and that
was just one side of therelationship or the connection
at that time that, you know,when you look back on it.
It was so many other things ofthat person was not willing to
(13:23):
have an amalgamation type ofunion.
They wanted more of anacquisition.
You wanted to dissolve thiscompany over here.
You didn't like this light.
It was too shiny.
I needed to be dull so it canfit in my box and make me feel
safe instead of trusting theprocess.
(13:44):
But the compliments came in away to as long as you look crazy
as shit, which maybe theythought that if you look crazy,
maybe people will stay away.
But it wasn't always about thelook.
It was really about mypersonality and my energy that
drew people to me, which wouldhappen regardless of what I
(14:04):
looked like.
Because that, you know, my haircould be crazy, but that doesn't
change Patrisse.
And I tell clients this all thetime, like, it doesn't matter if
you are tall, short, fat,skinny, thicker, smaller, short
hair, long hair, or even bald.
(14:25):
Because when you have a womanwho has been sick or she, she
loses her hair, we feel like welose us.
And that's only one part, but itis not us as a whole.
Who are you on the inside thatallows you to stand tall, be
your own separate entity,doesn't matter the
circumstances, or if you servingchicken or tacos, you can go
(14:47):
head forward and be great.
They could be chicken, you couldbe tacos, and we going forward.
And that could be, you know,with a little lettuce, a little
sour cream, maybe a littlesalsa, maybe none of that.
You might like it plain, butit's still a goddamn taco.
You could be great and standnext to the chicken and still
get chosen.
(15:10):
But we sometimes feel like welose ourselves because we're in
connections that's more of anacquisition than it is an
amalgamation.
It's not coming together tounite, to be better.
You want to dissolve who I am sothat you can shine.
You can be better.
(15:31):
And you got to think about that.
What type of business partnerare you?
Are you one who prefers anacquisition?
Or you want to be one that's anamalgamation?
You want to come together,unite, and grow.
And every time I think aboutlike, when this week when I was
thinking about, And what made methink about the word in terms of
(15:52):
relationship, it went back toPretty Woman.
Now, I have several of myfriends and my cousins, this is
like their favorite movie.
And it is one that really mademe think about the word
amalgamation.
Because, is it Richard Gere?
Whatever his name is.
You know the man on the PrettyWoman.
(16:12):
And right now that's not evenimportant, but you know the guy.
His job was to acquirecompanies.
They chewed them up and spitthem out.
They acquired them and dissolvedthem.
They didn't always grow them ormake them different, but when
she came along she gave him anew way of thinking about
helping a company versus takingover and dissolving it.
(16:37):
And it made me think about, areyou a Stucky?
Do you want to be Stucky in arelationship?
Are you that person that If youdon't do it like me, it's not
worthy, it's not good enough.
And I've realized that I havebeen in friendships and
(16:58):
connections where, you know, I'mstanding tall in this business
over here.
Ten toes in this shit.
Even when I be dead wrong,y'all, I'm in it.
But I'm standing in my power.
And instead of coming together,they would rather dissolve in it
when they can't.
They are uncomfortable.
(17:22):
And I look back and they had togo because that wasn't the
connection that we needed.
That I needed, I shouldn't evensay we, that I needed.
They were looking to dissolvethe company and I was trying to
grow a company.
And sometimes we never eventhink about what are we looking
(17:43):
for.
Because sometimes we look forpeople who are like us, but why
can't they be like them and weappreciate them for who they
are.
I was having a conversation witha client and, we, we, we get to
these, these conversationsbecause some of the stuff I
talked to y'all about ishappening in a salon.
(18:04):
It ain't always gossiping about,you know, the new Tyler Perry
movie.
but, We were talking aboutfinding who we are as she is a
mom, the kids are really doingtheir thing.
You know, she's been married for25 years or in a relationship
with her husband and married,whatever the connection, 25
(18:28):
years.
And now she's trying to reallyfind out who she is.
Because she's been all of theseother things for so long now.
It's like, what do I want nowthat I got all this extra time
on my hands?
The boys are doing their thingand what?
And we were having thisconversation, which just
(18:48):
happened to be very enlighteningfor her as well, because I just
gave her a different perspectiveon how we grow.
And I talked to her about theword amalgamation.
I think I probably have exposedpeople to this word like over
the last couple weeks severaltimes because it's amazing at
how it could be used in ourlife.
(19:09):
And with all that being said inthis rant of the week, being in
business, personal friendships,are you a Stucky?
Would you prefer to take overand dissolve?
Are you dealing with somebodywho prefers to take over and
(19:30):
minimize who you are?
Or are you gonna stand ten toesin you and be a separate entity,
and they are a separate entity,and you can come together and
move forward?
Because I believe this issomething that we need in our
Black community as well.
We don't do that.
We do not come together andunite.
(19:53):
Not in business.
Half of the time, we're barelydoing it in our relationships,
but I feel like it's somethingthat we probably need to
incorporate in our lives.
Stay firm, stay strong in whoyou are.
You got this.
And until next time, you know, Iappreciate y'all for listening,
(20:14):
sharing.
I hope it, in my rant, it gaveyou something to think about.
But I'ma keep sharing my messwith y'all because who knows?
You know, I might be helpingsomebody, but I so appreciate
you and thank you for all ofyour time.
Until next time.
Welcome back to the most randomest podcast ever.
Y'all, I'm telling y'all, Ireally enjoy talking to y'all
and sharing what I makediscoveries in a week.
Be it when I'm talking to myclients, I'm talking to friends,
like I'm reading something or myown little self, Healing
(01:04):
meditations that I do throughoutthe week on different days and
at a time when shit is crazy.
She has been so crazy out here.
lately that I've been trying tojust look for the bright side of
things and anybody who knows me,it's like, I'm always looking
for the bright side because shecan be crazy.
(01:26):
Like who wants to be dealingwith like all the negativity,
right?
So, y'all know I'm random, butsince I spoke to y'all last,
right, I done made some newdiscoveries of some Patrician,
cause y'all know I be Patrician.
So I have been in this stage ofwhat's next.
(01:49):
Like, where, where am I going?
What's happening?
You hit an age when you havedone so much, you've
accomplished so much, but thenwhat?
Right?
And it's not always like you gotto be busy, but there are levels
to this shit.
So even though I've been workingin this healing, I've been
thinking about business.
Where does the business go fromhere?
my meditations and I am a veryspiritual woman, so I listen to
(02:16):
the signs and synchronicitiesthat the universe gives me
because they be telling you someshit.
They be like, hey girl, hey, andI be like, hey, and I'm
listening and we be having aconversation and I'm like, hey,
I get it.
This is what it is.
It's showing me things.
It's enlightening, but I reallyhave been paying attention to
(02:37):
the signs around me.
Got this?
So, today's, tea, enlighteningtea, is coming with, I made a
detox tea, because I'm ready togo through this detox and trying
to get set up for it.
So, Get set up for the detox tocome, but in a recent moment of
(03:00):
my what's next question, a wordcame across my path and the word
is amalgamation.
Now, anybody who also knows meis that when I was younger, I
had a little list.
And so certain words will messyou up.
This word had come up before,but I didn't pay attention to it
like I did this time.
(03:21):
And I was like, I couldn't sayit before.
Now I can.
Like, I mean, before I wouldjust stumble over it and I was
like, ah, but now I'm like, whatis this?
It keeps like, Hey, now Iconduct a lot of shit in my life
like business because I am anumbers girl.
I'm a hustler I do what I do,but everything runs like a
business for me and sometimes Ifound that in relationships
(03:42):
That's how I would like tofunction But I am and I hope
everybody out here believes thatthey are the shit.
I am the shit for Patrice I'm myown kind of thing, right?
I'm my own entity.
And amalgamation is a word thatmeans it's the result of
(04:07):
combining or uniting.
And a lot of times this word isused in business is because it's
when two separate entities cometogether to make.
another entity or a biggerentity where we grow and we
still become one.
It's almost like, you know, theKFC taco bell.
(04:27):
They, you still could get yourchicken.
You can still get a taco, butyou know, you're at the same
drive thru and they cametogether.
And that's just the simplestform.
Y'all don't judge me.
I just try to make it, you know,plain for the people that are on
the same page.
But the word itself has beenlike, Hmm.
Because that's, that's where thenew space that I have been in,
in terms of growth, is that youwant to remain who you are while
(04:52):
you combine with someone else tobecome a better whole,
uplifting, uniting.
And I want that in the businessbecause I'm also finding that
working in a suite right now,being in the beauty industry,
everybody is so freakingseparated.
And it's like, you could walkpast somebody and not even know
(05:13):
that they a stylist or a beautyprofessional or whatever they
may do.
People don't speak.
Some people aren't pleasant.
It's weird as fuck.
I don't even know why they likethis.
But we've become so separated,but it also keeps us stagnant.
But when I was thinking about itwith the business and coming up
with some ideas of what's next,amalgamation is here.
(05:35):
Like, I want to be my own entityand I want to combine with
somebody else and then we'redoing something great to get to
the next level.
Well, a little later in the day,even though that, that, that
whole conversation sparked somethings that my brain is churning
business is about to dosomething completely different.
Right?
But when we, when we apply thatword to, relationships, And as
(06:03):
we grow, I'm noticing and thatyou hear people who have been in
these long term relationships ormarriages for so long, and then
they are like parting orquestioning, should we be
together?
And imagine those people whohave been married for more than
half of their lives, or in thisrelationship for more than half
(06:25):
of their lives, and it doesn'tmatter how old they are, just
period, old or young, andthey've been in these long term
relationships, but as you grow,you learn more about yourself,
and so does your partner, butthen where you are, you have to
then reconnect to make thatwhole relationship.
(06:47):
Continue to grow because I meanshoot if I got if I would have
gotten married back when I gotengaged at 24 Shit, I ain't the
same person It'd be like allowme to reintroduce myself because
I am not patrice at 24 When Iwas engaged, I am not the same
(07:08):
person.
So it would have to be like, whoam I now?
What are we doing?
And sometimes when we're in thechange, and I was saying this to
a client, when we are in theseason of shift, right?
So I'm in this, I want to dosomething different.
Rediscovering me.
Who is Patrice outside of beingmom, business, hairstylist,
(07:31):
teacher, whatever that is.
Who is she now?
What would we like to do in thisstage of our lives?
of my life.
And I guess when we get to thosestages and you are with someone,
that question is, is because I'mbored.
I want you to do what I do.
You need to do what you do.
(07:51):
Why can't I be who I am?
You be who you are and we go begreat.
Those are the connections that Ifeel grow and are amazing.
But when I think about, I wouldlike an amalgamation type of
relationship for myself, youknow, being single and this is a
wonderful season of my life.
I've realized I want to be, Iwant somebody to appreciate
(08:14):
Patrisse for Patrisse because Iam, you know, a whole verb,
Patrisse be Patrisse and I wantto be able to respect and
appreciate them for being theirown entity.
And then we come together, andwe, it'll be amazing.
We got a whole KFC Taco Belldrive thru.
We gon be the shit! But whydon't connections work like
(08:39):
that?
Why don't we even see it likethat?
Like, I don't want to be likesomeone else.
I ain't never been that type ofperson either.
Not even from a kid.
I've never been like nobodyelse.
Can't nobody be like me.
And Why is it that we can't justcome together, be who we are,
(09:01):
and proceed forward?
Now, I remember dating someonewho was really focused on the
demise of, like, all of theirfriends um, relationships.
And would mention things like,well, yeah, you know, a friend
of mine, he, he about ready todivorce his wife because she's
messy.
(09:23):
And he is all about being aclean neat freak, and I was
like, and the way that my friendat the time would talk about it,
it was like, you know, they weredefinitely siding with the
husband on this, like, you know,sometimes you gotta roll out,
and I said, well, this ain't nonew shit.
He knew this before he marriedher.
There wasn't no surprise.
(09:45):
And now it's her fault for beingher?
Or he wants things to bedifferent?
But it's her fault?
He buried her.
And the look at me was like, andI see, like, she does her thing
and why don't he just be greatif he be the cleaner and maybe
she's the shopper.
But instead of respecting herfor the entity that she is and
(10:06):
allow his strong suits to takeover where he is strong, he'd
rather dissolve the union.
Because it's such a problem, andit's like, what kind of shit is
that?
You know, like, if you love me,boo, like, love me for me.
You married me, and so maybe Idon't understand it.
(10:26):
I ain't even married either,because some people are getting
your damn nerves when you got aunion, you're in the same house.
I don't know, I ain't never beenmarried, but, you know, that's
me from the outside.
That seems like it could be somuch simpler in our
communication and our energy.
But it was funny as to how theywould focus on that.
Like, when you look at it fromthe outside, what is it that
(10:50):
prevents her from listening tohis needs?
Is it the communication?
What are they doing?
I hope they work it out.
But him telling you ain't goingto change the situation.
What do you do with that?
But in that little minor rant,it made me think about some
connections where I know thatI'm a bit shiny, and shiny in
(11:14):
personality because we'vealready talked about it.
I'm going to tell y'allsomething since I last chatted
with y'all.
Several people was like, Ithought you was at least 5'7 and
I was like, I am.
All in my mind, because you knowI'm coming tall, and I do, and
this isn't, and it's funny, butsomebody's like, you're mine,
you ain't that tall, I say it inmy mind.
(11:36):
I'm not that tall, but I dobelieve that I am big in
personality and in height, sowhen you look at me, it is, I am
taller than what the numberssay.
Because I believe in me.
I am me.
But I have had connections withsome people.
Because I'm shiny, it attractspeople who may not be able to
(11:56):
handle that kind of light.
So they want to dim it.
And transform it into somethingelse.
And I was sitting here thinkingabout some things of, like, the
past.
And, you know how you have somepeople that give you those
little backwards asscompliments?
Where they, they make it likeit's a compliment, but really
(12:18):
it's not.
Or it's a compliment, but it isto make you kind of think.
So, I remember having thisconnection, and oh my gosh, I
used to be like, oh, my babyjust loves it when I'm just
natural.
And sometimes I could belooking, you know, I had some
crackhead waves where my, myhair could be all over the
(12:39):
place.
And at that time, my baby usedto be like, I love it when your
hair wild, or I love that youdon't have to wear a lot of
makeup or that you don't.
And you, at one point you'd belike, dang, that's such a nice
compliment.
Thanks babes for appreciating meand my crackhead days.
But then it was like.
Hmm, when I got dressed up or weare going out or is something
(13:03):
we're going to the complimentsdidn't come in the same and that
was just one side of therelationship or the connection
at that time that, you know,when you look back on it.
It was so many other things ofthat person was not willing to
(13:23):
have an amalgamation type ofunion.
They wanted more of anacquisition.
You wanted to dissolve thiscompany over here.
You didn't like this light.
It was too shiny.
I needed to be dull so it canfit in my box and make me feel
safe instead of trusting theprocess.
(13:44):
But the compliments came in away to as long as you look crazy
as shit, which maybe theythought that if you look crazy,
maybe people will stay away.
But it wasn't always about thelook.
It was really about mypersonality and my energy that
drew people to me, which wouldhappen regardless of what I
(14:04):
looked like.
Because that, you know, my haircould be crazy, but that doesn't
change Patrisse.
And I tell clients this all thetime, like, it doesn't matter if
you are tall, short, fat,skinny, thicker, smaller, short
hair, long hair, or even bald.
(14:25):
Because when you have a womanwho has been sick or she, she
loses her hair, we feel like welose us.
And that's only one part, but itis not us as a whole.
Who are you on the inside thatallows you to stand tall, be
your own separate entity,doesn't matter the
circumstances, or if you servingchicken or tacos, you can go
(14:47):
head forward and be great.
They could be chicken, you couldbe tacos, and we going forward.
And that could be, you know,with a little lettuce, a little
sour cream, maybe a littlesalsa, maybe none of that.
You might like it plain, butit's still a goddamn taco.
You could be great and standnext to the chicken and still
get chosen.
(15:10):
But we sometimes feel like welose ourselves because we're in
connections that's more of anacquisition than it is an
amalgamation.
It's not coming together tounite, to be better.
You want to dissolve who I am sothat you can shine.
You can be better.
(15:31):
And you got to think about that.
What type of business partnerare you?
Are you one who prefers anacquisition?
Or you want to be one that's anamalgamation?
You want to come together,unite, and grow.
And every time I think aboutlike, when this week when I was
thinking about, And what made methink about the word in terms of
(15:52):
relationship, it went back toPretty Woman.
Now, I have several of myfriends and my cousins, this is
like their favorite movie.
And it is one that really mademe think about the word
amalgamation.
Because, is it Richard Gere?
Whatever his name is.
You know the man on the PrettyWoman.
(16:12):
And right now that's not evenimportant, but you know the guy.
His job was to acquirecompanies.
They chewed them up and spitthem out.
They acquired them and dissolvedthem.
They didn't always grow them ormake them different, but when
she came along she gave him anew way of thinking about
helping a company versus takingover and dissolving it.
(16:37):
And it made me think about, areyou a Stucky?
Do you want to be Stucky in arelationship?
Are you that person that If youdon't do it like me, it's not
worthy, it's not good enough.
And I've realized that I havebeen in friendships and
(16:58):
connections where, you know, I'mstanding tall in this business
over here.
Ten toes in this shit.
Even when I be dead wrong,y'all, I'm in it.
But I'm standing in my power.
And instead of coming together,they would rather dissolve in it
when they can't.
They are uncomfortable.
(17:22):
And I look back and they had togo because that wasn't the
connection that we needed.
That I needed, I shouldn't evensay we, that I needed.
They were looking to dissolvethe company and I was trying to
grow a company.
And sometimes we never eventhink about what are we looking
(17:43):
for.
Because sometimes we look forpeople who are like us, but why
can't they be like them and weappreciate them for who they
are.
I was having a conversation witha client and, we, we, we get to
these, these conversationsbecause some of the stuff I
talked to y'all about ishappening in a salon.
(18:04):
It ain't always gossiping about,you know, the new Tyler Perry
movie.
but, We were talking aboutfinding who we are as she is a
mom, the kids are really doingtheir thing.
You know, she's been married for25 years or in a relationship
with her husband and married,whatever the connection, 25
(18:28):
years.
And now she's trying to reallyfind out who she is.
Because she's been all of theseother things for so long now.
It's like, what do I want nowthat I got all this extra time
on my hands?
The boys are doing their thingand what?
And we were having thisconversation, which just
(18:48):
happened to be very enlighteningfor her as well, because I just
gave her a different perspectiveon how we grow.
And I talked to her about theword amalgamation.
I think I probably have exposedpeople to this word like over
the last couple weeks severaltimes because it's amazing at
how it could be used in ourlife.
(19:09):
And with all that being said inthis rant of the week, being in
business, personal friendships,are you a Stucky?
Would you prefer to take overand dissolve?
Are you dealing with somebodywho prefers to take over and
(19:30):
minimize who you are?
Or are you gonna stand ten toesin you and be a separate entity,
and they are a separate entity,and you can come together and
move forward?
Because I believe this issomething that we need in our
Black community as well.
We don't do that.
We do not come together andunite.
(19:53):
Not in business.
Half of the time, we're barelydoing it in our relationships,
but I feel like it's somethingthat we probably need to
incorporate in our lives.
Stay firm, stay strong in whoyou are.
You got this.
And until next time, you know, Iappreciate y'all for listening,
(20:14):
sharing.
I hope it, in my rant, it gaveyou something to think about.
But I'ma keep sharing my messwith y'all because who knows?
You know, I might be helpingsomebody, but I so appreciate
you and thank you for all ofyour time.
Until next time.
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