February 18, 2025 • 20 mins
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Sometimes we find ourselves in sticky situations with friends, relationships, clients or family. Do you always consider all viewpoints in a conflict, or do you sometimes react prematurely?
Everyone comes into every situation from their own vantage point. There may be emotions already brewing, prior history with the people involved, or even fears and biases that color each person's perspective.
It's worth it to take the time to reflect on your own reaction, emotions, and assumptions when you run into a conflict. Are you a co-conspirator? Might their point of view be just as correct as yours?
I offer 1-to-1 training to help you find the systems, train the people, make it work and provide the best customer service in your salon. Send me a DM on Instagram to learn more! https://www.instagram.com/patricestar
Find out more about Patrice's courses and faves on her website https://www.thedesignstudiomd.com/
Music credit: LA Nightlife by Full Frontal Audio
A Subito Media production
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Patrice B (00:40):
What's going on people?
We are back at it again.
Back on these tacos, tequila,therapy, and the tea with
Patrice B.
We are back.
As always, I got some thoughtsfor y'all and it's been a
minute.
I'm gonna say this, I havemissed you, but it's been a
(01:01):
minute.
And I got some thoughts.
I have one of my friends who,and actually several of my
friends, who watch a lot of likecrime shows.
And you know how it's talkingabout like who saw the murders,
what, you know, perspective, howit was seen, everything that led
up to it.
(01:21):
And I always think about likeassociating that to
conversations and how weinteract with people.
And I know what, what the helldoes a crime show got to do with
conversations with people andhow we interact?
Now, in my brain, becausePatrice was Patricing and how I
process this.
(01:42):
I'm hoping that some of you haveseen the movie Vantage Point,
right?
And in that movie, you havewhere a major thing has
happened, but there were so manyangles to determine what
happened.
really went down, who the peoplewere, who was a part of it,
(02:03):
because everybody had adifferent vantage point.
And when you think about a crimescene, or something happens, or
somebody, hey, was shooting, youhave the person that might have
been behind the shooter,somebody on the right of the
shooter, the, the person who gotshot, who knows, and you have
the shooter.
You have different vantagepoints in all of these
(02:23):
scenarios.
But when it comes to Theconnections that we have with
people, be it friendships,relationships, whatever that
might be, right?
I'm even thinking aboutdifferent vantage points when it
comes to the clients.
When we are having theseconversations, everybody has a
different perspective.
(02:44):
And it's a different vantagepoints.
So when you get into anargument, or you have a
disagreement.
Let's not say argument becauseit sounds so nasty, right?
A little bitter.
But when you get into adisagreement with someone and
someone was like, hey, X, Y, andZ.
It is from their vantage point.
(03:08):
And on the other end of thephone, you have the other person
that has a different vantagepoint.
And so, in this, it's like, hey,but these things happened, but
this is what I heard, this iswhat I saw, this is what I
perceived, whatever that mightbe.
Now, it's not to say that eitherof the people are wrong, but
(03:29):
it's how they saw the situation.
Thanks for watching.
And I don't think that sometimeswe look at our conversations of
reflection or disagreements withpeople as, Hey, somebody else
has a different vantage point.
I remember years ago, I wasdating someone who was like,
(03:49):
yeah, you know, your friend usedto like, we were cool too.
Before I started dating you, Iknew them and they used to like
my post and blah, blah, blah,blah, blah.
And now they don't do thatanymore.
Since I, you know, we've starteddating.
I was thinking like, hey, that'sjust some kind of weird ass
(04:11):
behavior.
Like, eh, that's probably notit.
It's probably that you knowsomebody that they're dating and
it's too close cause I know whothe person is and I know their
character.
And I was just like, it'sprobably they, you know, you too
close to somebody they'redating.
I didn't think that it hadanything to do with me.
And so we get into a, monthslater, maybe even a year or so
(04:33):
later, I'm still in thisrelationship.
I'm dating.
And my friend who I consideredat the time, a close friend was
a little different, at a party.
And wasn't talking to me, butyou know me, you know who I'm
dating, what, why are you notconversing?
Like, you're weird, you're doingsome weird shit.
(04:56):
And then it was like, whoa.
The vantage point that at thattime, my friend had of like,
Hey, your bestie looking kind ofstrange.
What's going on with that?
Why are they acting like that?
And then I got to see it.
I didn't see it at that point,but later on, I saw something
different from my vantage point.
(05:16):
That made me be like, huh.
That shit's kind of crazy,right?
But the point that I'm trying tomake is that when we are in
certain, you know,disagreements, arguments, or
situations, there are so manyways of looking at it.
But how do we get to the neutralplace?
(05:37):
Of, hey, if you saw it this way,I see it this way, what would we
like to receive?
There's somewhere in the middlethat we have to meet, right?
And when I think about like,like a different vantage point
in a crime scene, you also havethe different levels of how
people perceive the situation.
(05:58):
So I was telling a friend thatsometimes you have, cause I be
having these conversations,sometimes they are really in
depth of how I sit and Ireflect.
Now I was in a situation where Ihad Some underlying emotions
prior to the crime.
So prior to there was somethingalready there.
(06:21):
We were already having a weekand it was a challenging week in
our communication with someoneand I was dating and it was just
like days.
So it just led up to it.
So then we hit the situation andI already was like feeling some
kind of way.
And there are a lot of timeswhere I can take a moment to
reflect and like, Hey, but Ididn't, I had some underlying
(06:45):
emotions prior to this day'scrime.
Right.
And so in this situation, itmakes me think of when you have
somebody who is very racist orprejudice and how they already
viewed the situation when youfeel like, Hey, those gotta be
the criminals, or this has to bethe situation because this is
how I underlying hatred.
(07:06):
Right that a racist person wouldhave and it seems like I'm all
over the place, but bear withme, right?
When you are in a crime scene,you have somebody who's like
maybe a racist person who waslike, hey Because this person
this young man has on hishoodies black.
He had to be the one that did itI saw him da da da da da because
from their vantage point it camewith some underlying emotions
(07:27):
That allowed them to have somepreconceived notions about how
that possibly could have wentdown and it had to be them You
Now, hey, it's their view, butit doesn't mean that that was
the right vantage point for thatcrime.
They just had a perspective, butit came with something like a
precursor that allowed them toplace judgment.
(07:49):
So fast forward, come back tome, right?
Because we're talking aboutthese crime scenes because I
feel like all these damndisagreements or arguments that
we have with people are likeFucking crime scenes sometimes.
Who's right?
Who did it?
How do you get to it?
How do we solve the damn crime?
Right?
So, a week of craziness we getto the situation and the crime
(08:11):
is happening.
But there was some things thathappened that I was like I had a
question about.
But before I asked the questionBecause this is where you take
ownership of your shit.
Before I asked the question, Ihad already had an emotion that
was stemming from the week ofthings that caused a reaction
(08:31):
before I asked the question, andso then my question isn't really
a question of curiosity.
It comes with more of anaccusation.
of like, Hey, did you do that?
Like I didn't even, and noteven, Hey, did you do that?
It's like, Oh, was this what itwas?
Because I was already feelingaway.
Right.
(08:52):
And so now we're in this damncrime scene and we got different
perspectives and vantage pointsand so many things are
happening.
Things are being said, butnothing is really being said to
get to the point of solving thecrime.
Because at this point we haveemotions and things just don't
go well.
Right?
And it's crazy because I had tothen be aware of, Hey, in this
(09:16):
crime, what part did I play?
When I reflected on it, it waslike, Hey Patrice, you already
were feeling some kind of wayprior to the crime.
So once something started tobrew and it seemed like
something was happening, youalready had emotions that caused
(09:37):
you to react in a way thatdidn't get your questions
answered.
Clear communication wasn'thappening because you were
already in the place of emotion.
Now there is no excuse sometimeswhen you're in your place of
emotion, but it had been a week.
I was tired.
(09:57):
all the things that causes younot to think clearly in the
moment, but you got to alsothink like, Hey, how did I get
myself into this shit?
What part did I play in thecrime?
Am I damn eight and in thebedding?
You know what I'm saying?
Am I a cocus beater?
At this point, like, did I dothis?
And I had to think back, butthen at this point now, the
(10:22):
person that I'm dating, becauseit's still fairly new, it's like
they had an emotion to areaction that I had, and we
never got to solving the problemin the crime.
Because there were so manyemotions placed in that prior to
our ask for clarity, and then itwent.
(10:43):
Far down a rabbit hole of thingsbeing said on their end that
probably put the nails in thecoffin and the situation is dead
because how do you even comeback from there?
But how did it even start?
It was the emotions prior to,and the things that when I sat
(11:05):
back after the fact and Ireflected on, because we never
really got to a clearconversation on it because there
were a lot of emotions involved.
And, when it's all said and doneand I could reflect or I had
reflected.
There were things thatdefinitely could have been done
(11:25):
differently.
And I remember like, and thisgoes in so many different
scenarios.
It isn't always conflict, right?
Where there is the differentvantage points of a connection
and how we see it and how weconnect with people.
But, I had this conversationwith a client at one point in
(11:45):
time, a few years ago and Iremember her dating this guy and
they were hanging out.
They had a friendship, they hada connection and he was
definitely, it's clear that hewas definitely interested in her
and you know, she, him and Shestarted to develop feelings
(12:08):
beyond the friendship.
And immediately she felt as ifshe should ask him, what is
this?
And so when she asked him what,you know, what is this, what are
we doing?
Right?
She never stated to him aboutthe emotions and how things had
changed for her.
She just went on like, Hey, Ineed to ask him.
(12:30):
So when he answered thequestion, And it wasn't to her
liking.
Now, mind you, it wasn't like,hey, I don't want this to be a
relationship.
It just kind of was like, hey,I'm enjoying the moment type of
answer, but not that he didn'twant it, but she didn't like the
response.
(12:51):
And immediately she was like,yeah, well, I need to just, you
know, back out of this.
I need to leave, you know, I'm alimit my time with him.
Um, and I had to say to her,like, well, how is that even
fair?
Right?
Cause now I have a differentvantage point to this
conversation from the outside.
(13:13):
And I was able to say to her,was like, Hey, why is that okay?
Why do you punish him?
Because you never really statedhow you felt.
You wanted to put it on him todefine the relationship instead
of you stating what you wantedand allowing him to make a
decision based off youremotions, but you wanted his
(13:34):
emotions to guide it todetermine if you would still
want this, even though youwanted it before you even asked
the question.
And then our conversation wentinto what were you feeling
before you even asked that?
Because even though you mighthave wanted a relationship,
there was some things of selfdoubt within her.
(13:55):
Like, she felt like he was justnice to all his friends, but he
was definitely nice to her in adifferent way.
Definitely, he's a gentleman.
helpful to people, but to her,he was very different, but she
just saw that he was helpful toa lot of people and she wasn't
quite feeling it.
So before she even asked him,what is this?
She had some underlyingfeelings, even though it could
(14:17):
have been self doubt, it wasn'tangry or anything that was a
disagreement, but she had somethings that might have maybe
doubted herself in theconnection.
Was it really what it was?
and when she posed the question,it was more for him to make the
decisions to govern how shewould then guide with the
emotions that she was alreadyhaving.
(14:38):
Because her emotions werealready there.
It was the, hey, I want more,but do I really want more?
Does he have other people?
Is he really dealing with them?
Does he want me?
It was all the questions.
But the question that she wastrying to pose to him was,
should have been something thatshe was asking herself.
And in the moment, even in mysituation, I could have asked
(14:58):
myself some questions before Iled with emotion and energy.
In the crime.
And in her scene, it might nothave been, you know, it was just
a little bit more dramatic inits nature than my client who
was asking who had underlyingemotions.
And every situation of usdealing with people, there are
(15:19):
different vantage points.
And it could be something sosmall that changes how we view
what happened or what ishappening.
You have some people that haveemotions and feelings that, you
know, lead them to believe thatthis is a relationship before
(15:41):
they even, you know, theyalready are conducting
themselves and that's not evenwhat was established.
It's so many times and there'sdifferent ways to view it, but
we have to sometimes, mosttimes, if not all the time, view
what are the underlying emotionsand how we are viewing our
(16:02):
situation.
Do you have sun in your eyes?
Are you tired?
Do you need something to eat?
And it's, it's, it's crazy athow things can be so
misconstrued just because wewere just like, blinded in the
situation for whatever that is,whatever the reasons were.
(16:26):
And we can't quite see it fromsomeone's angle, but there are
different viewpoints in thissituation of possibility, of a
difference, of a resolution,because which way does the
camera see it?
And sometimes it could just beas small as a conversation on
the phone.
And let's say one word ismissing or somebody didn't hear
(16:47):
it and it changes and it's notthat the person who the one
who's speaking is right.
The one who was the listener isright.
It's just like, Hey, we viewedthis differently with what you
said, what I heard.
And then we have that middleground.
And I don't feel like we alwayshave that middle ground when we
are dealing with people becausewe have some things that precede
(17:11):
us going into theseconversations or connections
that minimize the clarity of thesituation and you can't see it
from all angles.
And sometimes people don't seethe role that they play in the
crime.
And so it was in my reflectionsof vantage points.
(17:33):
Can I see it from their angle?
Can I understand theirperspective?
Can they understand mine?
And how do we get to a clearresolution?
Because we definitely havedifferent vantage points.
I have been in so manysituations like, oh, that's how
you saw that?
That's not what I saw.
That's not how it is for me,right?
(17:56):
Like, oh, wow.
Like, the way that they saw it,the way that I saw it, or what
was happening.
And I've had some times where itwas like, oh, wow, I didn't
realize that either.
And you can, sometimes thecrimes get solved and.
We can put that file to rest.
And some things become unsolvedmysteries because people refuse
(18:19):
to see it from different vantagepoints and understanding that to
see that their viewpoint isn'talways right.
But it's not to say that yoursis right either.
It's It's just perspective But Ihope this helped somebody even
though it seemed like it was allover the place and don't be out
here creating no crime scenes.
(18:40):
Look at it from differentvantage points.
Take ownership of your shit whenyou realize that you are a co
conspirator in the crime andknow that the way that they see
it isn't always wrong.
It's just from their point ofview.
And you gotta get to the clarityto understand how to solve the
problem.
And as always, y'all, I'm backwith some craziness and my most
(19:01):
randomest thoughts.
Who knows what you're gonna getnext time.
But I hope to be with you nexttime and you with me.
Enjoy.
Have an amazing day on purpose.
What's going on people?
We are back at it again.
Back on these tacos, tequila,therapy, and the tea with
Patrice B.
We are back.
As always, I got some thoughtsfor y'all and it's been a
minute.
I'm gonna say this, I havemissed you, but it's been a
(01:01):
minute.
And I got some thoughts.
I have one of my friends who,and actually several of my
friends, who watch a lot of likecrime shows.
And you know how it's talkingabout like who saw the murders,
what, you know, perspective, howit was seen, everything that led
up to it.
(01:21):
And I always think about likeassociating that to
conversations and how weinteract with people.
And I know what, what the helldoes a crime show got to do with
conversations with people andhow we interact?
Now, in my brain, becausePatrice was Patricing and how I
process this.
(01:42):
I'm hoping that some of you haveseen the movie Vantage Point,
right?
And in that movie, you havewhere a major thing has
happened, but there were so manyangles to determine what
happened.
really went down, who the peoplewere, who was a part of it,
(02:03):
because everybody had adifferent vantage point.
And when you think about a crimescene, or something happens, or
somebody, hey, was shooting, youhave the person that might have
been behind the shooter,somebody on the right of the
shooter, the, the person who gotshot, who knows, and you have
the shooter.
You have different vantagepoints in all of these
(02:23):
scenarios.
But when it comes to Theconnections that we have with
people, be it friendships,relationships, whatever that
might be, right?
I'm even thinking aboutdifferent vantage points when it
comes to the clients.
When we are having theseconversations, everybody has a
different perspective.
(02:44):
And it's a different vantagepoints.
So when you get into anargument, or you have a
disagreement.
Let's not say argument becauseit sounds so nasty, right?
A little bitter.
But when you get into adisagreement with someone and
someone was like, hey, X, Y, andZ.
It is from their vantage point.
(03:08):
And on the other end of thephone, you have the other person
that has a different vantagepoint.
And so, in this, it's like, hey,but these things happened, but
this is what I heard, this iswhat I saw, this is what I
perceived, whatever that mightbe.
Now, it's not to say that eitherof the people are wrong, but
(03:29):
it's how they saw the situation.
Thanks for watching.
And I don't think that sometimeswe look at our conversations of
reflection or disagreements withpeople as, Hey, somebody else
has a different vantage point.
I remember years ago, I wasdating someone who was like,
(03:49):
yeah, you know, your friend usedto like, we were cool too.
Before I started dating you, Iknew them and they used to like
my post and blah, blah, blah,blah, blah.
And now they don't do thatanymore.
Since I, you know, we've starteddating.
I was thinking like, hey, that'sjust some kind of weird ass
(04:11):
behavior.
Like, eh, that's probably notit.
It's probably that you knowsomebody that they're dating and
it's too close cause I know whothe person is and I know their
character.
And I was just like, it'sprobably they, you know, you too
close to somebody they'redating.
I didn't think that it hadanything to do with me.
And so we get into a, monthslater, maybe even a year or so
(04:33):
later, I'm still in thisrelationship.
I'm dating.
And my friend who I consideredat the time, a close friend was
a little different, at a party.
And wasn't talking to me, butyou know me, you know who I'm
dating, what, why are you notconversing?
Like, you're weird, you're doingsome weird shit.
(04:56):
And then it was like, whoa.
The vantage point that at thattime, my friend had of like,
Hey, your bestie looking kind ofstrange.
What's going on with that?
Why are they acting like that?
And then I got to see it.
I didn't see it at that point,but later on, I saw something
different from my vantage point.
(05:16):
That made me be like, huh.
That shit's kind of crazy,right?
But the point that I'm trying tomake is that when we are in
certain, you know,disagreements, arguments, or
situations, there are so manyways of looking at it.
But how do we get to the neutralplace?
(05:37):
Of, hey, if you saw it this way,I see it this way, what would we
like to receive?
There's somewhere in the middlethat we have to meet, right?
And when I think about like,like a different vantage point
in a crime scene, you also havethe different levels of how
people perceive the situation.
(05:58):
So I was telling a friend thatsometimes you have, cause I be
having these conversations,sometimes they are really in
depth of how I sit and Ireflect.
Now I was in a situation where Ihad Some underlying emotions
prior to the crime.
So prior to there was somethingalready there.
(06:21):
We were already having a weekand it was a challenging week in
our communication with someoneand I was dating and it was just
like days.
So it just led up to it.
So then we hit the situation andI already was like feeling some
kind of way.
And there are a lot of timeswhere I can take a moment to
reflect and like, Hey, but Ididn't, I had some underlying
(06:45):
emotions prior to this day'scrime.
Right.
And so in this situation, itmakes me think of when you have
somebody who is very racist orprejudice and how they already
viewed the situation when youfeel like, Hey, those gotta be
the criminals, or this has to bethe situation because this is
how I underlying hatred.
(07:06):
Right that a racist person wouldhave and it seems like I'm all
over the place, but bear withme, right?
When you are in a crime scene,you have somebody who's like
maybe a racist person who waslike, hey Because this person
this young man has on hishoodies black.
He had to be the one that did itI saw him da da da da da because
from their vantage point it camewith some underlying emotions
(07:27):
That allowed them to have somepreconceived notions about how
that possibly could have wentdown and it had to be them You
Now, hey, it's their view, butit doesn't mean that that was
the right vantage point for thatcrime.
They just had a perspective, butit came with something like a
precursor that allowed them toplace judgment.
(07:49):
So fast forward, come back tome, right?
Because we're talking aboutthese crime scenes because I
feel like all these damndisagreements or arguments that
we have with people are likeFucking crime scenes sometimes.
Who's right?
Who did it?
How do you get to it?
How do we solve the damn crime?
Right?
So, a week of craziness we getto the situation and the crime
(08:11):
is happening.
But there was some things thathappened that I was like I had a
question about.
But before I asked the questionBecause this is where you take
ownership of your shit.
Before I asked the question, Ihad already had an emotion that
was stemming from the week ofthings that caused a reaction
(08:31):
before I asked the question, andso then my question isn't really
a question of curiosity.
It comes with more of anaccusation.
of like, Hey, did you do that?
Like I didn't even, and noteven, Hey, did you do that?
It's like, Oh, was this what itwas?
Because I was already feelingaway.
Right.
(08:52):
And so now we're in this damncrime scene and we got different
perspectives and vantage pointsand so many things are
happening.
Things are being said, butnothing is really being said to
get to the point of solving thecrime.
Because at this point we haveemotions and things just don't
go well.
Right?
And it's crazy because I had tothen be aware of, Hey, in this
(09:16):
crime, what part did I play?
When I reflected on it, it waslike, Hey Patrice, you already
were feeling some kind of wayprior to the crime.
So once something started tobrew and it seemed like
something was happening, youalready had emotions that caused
(09:37):
you to react in a way thatdidn't get your questions
answered.
Clear communication wasn'thappening because you were
already in the place of emotion.
Now there is no excuse sometimeswhen you're in your place of
emotion, but it had been a week.
I was tired.
(09:57):
all the things that causes younot to think clearly in the
moment, but you got to alsothink like, Hey, how did I get
myself into this shit?
What part did I play in thecrime?
Am I damn eight and in thebedding?
You know what I'm saying?
Am I a cocus beater?
At this point, like, did I dothis?
And I had to think back, butthen at this point now, the
(10:22):
person that I'm dating, becauseit's still fairly new, it's like
they had an emotion to areaction that I had, and we
never got to solving the problemin the crime.
Because there were so manyemotions placed in that prior to
our ask for clarity, and then itwent.
(10:43):
Far down a rabbit hole of thingsbeing said on their end that
probably put the nails in thecoffin and the situation is dead
because how do you even comeback from there?
But how did it even start?
It was the emotions prior to,and the things that when I sat
(11:05):
back after the fact and Ireflected on, because we never
really got to a clearconversation on it because there
were a lot of emotions involved.
And, when it's all said and doneand I could reflect or I had
reflected.
There were things thatdefinitely could have been done
(11:25):
differently.
And I remember like, and thisgoes in so many different
scenarios.
It isn't always conflict, right?
Where there is the differentvantage points of a connection
and how we see it and how weconnect with people.
But, I had this conversationwith a client at one point in
(11:45):
time, a few years ago and Iremember her dating this guy and
they were hanging out.
They had a friendship, they hada connection and he was
definitely, it's clear that hewas definitely interested in her
and you know, she, him and Shestarted to develop feelings
(12:08):
beyond the friendship.
And immediately she felt as ifshe should ask him, what is
this?
And so when she asked him what,you know, what is this, what are
we doing?
Right?
She never stated to him aboutthe emotions and how things had
changed for her.
She just went on like, Hey, Ineed to ask him.
(12:30):
So when he answered thequestion, And it wasn't to her
liking.
Now, mind you, it wasn't like,hey, I don't want this to be a
relationship.
It just kind of was like, hey,I'm enjoying the moment type of
answer, but not that he didn'twant it, but she didn't like the
response.
(12:51):
And immediately she was like,yeah, well, I need to just, you
know, back out of this.
I need to leave, you know, I'm alimit my time with him.
Um, and I had to say to her,like, well, how is that even
fair?
Right?
Cause now I have a differentvantage point to this
conversation from the outside.
(13:13):
And I was able to say to her,was like, Hey, why is that okay?
Why do you punish him?
Because you never really statedhow you felt.
You wanted to put it on him todefine the relationship instead
of you stating what you wantedand allowing him to make a
decision based off youremotions, but you wanted his
(13:34):
emotions to guide it todetermine if you would still
want this, even though youwanted it before you even asked
the question.
And then our conversation wentinto what were you feeling
before you even asked that?
Because even though you mighthave wanted a relationship,
there was some things of selfdoubt within her.
(13:55):
Like, she felt like he was justnice to all his friends, but he
was definitely nice to her in adifferent way.
Definitely, he's a gentleman.
helpful to people, but to her,he was very different, but she
just saw that he was helpful toa lot of people and she wasn't
quite feeling it.
So before she even asked him,what is this?
She had some underlyingfeelings, even though it could
(14:17):
have been self doubt, it wasn'tangry or anything that was a
disagreement, but she had somethings that might have maybe
doubted herself in theconnection.
Was it really what it was?
and when she posed the question,it was more for him to make the
decisions to govern how shewould then guide with the
emotions that she was alreadyhaving.
(14:38):
Because her emotions werealready there.
It was the, hey, I want more,but do I really want more?
Does he have other people?
Is he really dealing with them?
Does he want me?
It was all the questions.
But the question that she wastrying to pose to him was,
should have been something thatshe was asking herself.
And in the moment, even in mysituation, I could have asked
(14:58):
myself some questions before Iled with emotion and energy.
In the crime.
And in her scene, it might nothave been, you know, it was just
a little bit more dramatic inits nature than my client who
was asking who had underlyingemotions.
And every situation of usdealing with people, there are
(15:19):
different vantage points.
And it could be something sosmall that changes how we view
what happened or what ishappening.
You have some people that haveemotions and feelings that, you
know, lead them to believe thatthis is a relationship before
(15:41):
they even, you know, theyalready are conducting
themselves and that's not evenwhat was established.
It's so many times and there'sdifferent ways to view it, but
we have to sometimes, mosttimes, if not all the time, view
what are the underlying emotionsand how we are viewing our
(16:02):
situation.
Do you have sun in your eyes?
Are you tired?
Do you need something to eat?
And it's, it's, it's crazy athow things can be so
misconstrued just because wewere just like, blinded in the
situation for whatever that is,whatever the reasons were.
(16:26):
And we can't quite see it fromsomeone's angle, but there are
different viewpoints in thissituation of possibility, of a
difference, of a resolution,because which way does the
camera see it?
And sometimes it could just beas small as a conversation on
the phone.
And let's say one word ismissing or somebody didn't hear
(16:47):
it and it changes and it's notthat the person who the one
who's speaking is right.
The one who was the listener isright.
It's just like, Hey, we viewedthis differently with what you
said, what I heard.
And then we have that middleground.
And I don't feel like we alwayshave that middle ground when we
are dealing with people becausewe have some things that precede
(17:11):
us going into theseconversations or connections
that minimize the clarity of thesituation and you can't see it
from all angles.
And sometimes people don't seethe role that they play in the
crime.
And so it was in my reflectionsof vantage points.
(17:33):
Can I see it from their angle?
Can I understand theirperspective?
Can they understand mine?
And how do we get to a clearresolution?
Because we definitely havedifferent vantage points.
I have been in so manysituations like, oh, that's how
you saw that?
That's not what I saw.
That's not how it is for me,right?
(17:56):
Like, oh, wow.
Like, the way that they saw it,the way that I saw it, or what
was happening.
And I've had some times where itwas like, oh, wow, I didn't
realize that either.
And you can, sometimes thecrimes get solved and.
We can put that file to rest.
And some things become unsolvedmysteries because people refuse
(18:19):
to see it from different vantagepoints and understanding that to
see that their viewpoint isn'talways right.
But it's not to say that yoursis right either.
It's It's just perspective But Ihope this helped somebody even
though it seemed like it was allover the place and don't be out
here creating no crime scenes.
(18:40):
Look at it from differentvantage points.
Take ownership of your shit whenyou realize that you are a co
conspirator in the crime andknow that the way that they see
it isn't always wrong.
It's just from their point ofview.
And you gotta get to the clarityto understand how to solve the
problem.
And as always, y'all, I'm backwith some craziness and my most
(19:01):
randomest thoughts.
Who knows what you're gonna getnext time.
But I hope to be with you nexttime and you with me.
Enjoy.
Have an amazing day on purpose.
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