Healing Ain’t Pretty - But You Still Gotta Show Up

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It's been a minute, but I'm back! I've had to do some heavy healing with myself.

Healing is hard. It's heavy, and it doesn't always look cute. Social media would have you believe that healing is just bubble baths and chocolate. That can be part of it, but the real healing happens when you're uncomfortable. Lean into it and show up for it!

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Music credit: LA Nightlife by Full Frontal Audio
A Subito Media production

Episode Transcript

Patrice B (00:39):
What's up y'all?
Welcome back to tacos, tequilatherapy, and the tea where we
sip, spill, and say the thingseverybody else is scared to.
I'm your host, Patrice B, andI'm so glad you're here.
I just wanna say this, y'all.
I know that it has been a minutesince I've been with you guys,

(01:04):
but listen, I haven't gone toofar.
I just needed a break to processsome things, you know how that
goes.
Sometimes we need a moment andit just took me a little time.
But I'm back with more Patricecause I'm still a verb.
I'm still doing all the things,and as always, I'm here to share
some of my experiences withy'all.

(01:24):
But I hope they help.
I truly do.
So let's get into it.
Sometimes healing ain't pretty,but you still gotta show up,
right?
So they say, let's call it whatit is.
Healing is hard.
Healing is messy, and it doesnot always look cute.

(01:46):
At all.
Sometimes I wish it did though.
Like I wish we looked good as wehealed, especially in the hard
times.
But the reality of it is, isthat it doesn't, the gag is you
still gotta show up anyway.
Whether it's pretty, whetherit's ugly, it's going smoothly.

(02:08):
You got it.
You still gotta show up.
You can be going through allkinds of stuff and still have to
keep going.
And you know what?
That shit drives me crazy.
It drives me crazy sometimes,but it is what it is.
It's still the truth.
And you know, sometimes socialmedia has made y'all think that

(02:31):
healing is all candles,journaling in a pretty notebook
and bubble baths.
And I've been known a few timesto take that bubble bath and
came out, thought that I washealed.
And don't get me wrong, I love agood bubble bath, but
understand, please understandthat once I get out that bubble,
something else gonna piss meoff.

(02:53):
That part I absolutely love, butreal healing.
It's crying in the car beforework, after work, before you go
home.
It's sitting there for a fewminutes before work or after
work, just trying to get yourlife together.
It's sitting in your therapist'soffice mad as hell'cause they
pulled a card on you and youknow that they're right.

(03:17):
It's cutting off people youthought you couldn't live
without.
It's sitting in silence, feelinglonely, but knowing you did the
right thing.
The side of healing we don'talways talk about is not just
candles and Q journals.
It's silence.

(03:37):
It's grief is letting go ofpeople and the versions of
yourself you thought you needed.
If I'm being real, the last fewmonths for me have been crazy.
And even while moving, I'm stillhealing.
There was a time I thought I wasdone, you know, like I done got
through some major shit, like,oh, I'm good now.

(04:01):
I'm grown.
I ain't mad no more.
And then, boom.
Something tricks the hell outtame.
And then you're like, what inthe world?
I thought I was healed.
So we thought, but let me tellyou, you, you are healed and
healing.
It's not over.
It's a process.

(04:23):
It is ongoing.
Wing, the three dots.
You're still going.
One thing I've learned is thatyou don't heal when it feels
good.
You heal the most when it feelslike hell.
Healing doesn't happen when thesun is shining.
It happens when it's raining.
And this summer we've had, I'mgonna tell you this summer, Ooh

(04:46):
child, we done had more rainthan a little bit.
It's been raining like hell.
I've been asking, can we pleaseget some more sun?
But here's the.
The hard part, the hell part.
That's what's breaking you opento build something better.
That's why it feels so heavy,because it's making room for

(05:09):
your next season.
So stop waiting to feel easybefore you start.
Stop waiting for everything toline up perfectly before you
show up for yourself.
Some of the most powerfulhealing happens when things feel
misaligned.
It happens in the silence.
It happens in the ugly cries, inthe hard and uncomfortable ass

(05:33):
conversations, the ones thathurt, but teach you about
yourself.
And it also teach you aboutpeople you thought you knew.
And we really don't.
Even if you can't see it yet,every single step, even the
messy ones is progress.

(05:54):
And I know it's been a whilesince I've been here with y'all,
but guess what?
Ha ha.
I'm back And in full form.
Here's what I want for you.
I hope this helps and I wantthis for you and for me.
'cause we pot and kettle tutuover the next week or two,

(06:16):
however long it takes.
How about you just take onestep, have that conversation,
book that therapy session, sayno to the toxic situation.
So some, you know, it'ssummertime they come back.
Write in that pretty assjournal.
Just take one step, take onestep towards the other side of

(06:41):
hell, please.
And thank you.
And if you do, tag me, messageme.
Let me celebrate you showing upfor yourself.
'cause you know all of this, Igotta do it too.
But it was short and sweettoday.
That's it for today, but real.

(07:03):
I just want you to know healingain't always pretty, but I've
been there with you.
We're on this journey togetherand we're going to get through
it.
Thank you for spending your timeand energy with me today.
I don't take it lightly.
Thanks for letting me pour intoyou for a little while.
I hope you pull back intoyourself too.

(07:25):
Until next time, keep growing,keep it real, and stay
unapologetic.
Love you.