Soft Life Or Just Avoiding Real Life?

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Social media sells us a magical "soft life" full of relaxation, luxury, ease, boundaries, and the perfect husband. How many people are really living that life? How many are just putting on the mask of perfection, while really just avoiding real life? How can you build that life and sustain it?

Asking the real questions today. Always growing!

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Music credit: LA Nightlife by Full Frontal Audio
A Subito Media production

Episode Transcript

Patrice B (00:40):
Hey y'all.
Welcome back to tacos, tequilaTherapy in the teeth.
The podcast will be, tell thetruth, take the shots, and do
the work.
I'm your host, Patrice B, andhave I got something for y'all
today?
Today's question that has poppedup in this Patrice brain of mine
is soft life or just avoidingreal life.

(01:05):
We gonna let that sit rightthere because we about to dig
into your shit and probably minetoo.
'cause it's been on my mind andI'm just out here to share.
And today this one was kind oflike woo.
So I had to get me a littlegoose and cranberry for you.
And the only thing I do likepink is my drink.
Not too much cranberry.

(01:26):
I don't want it to be red.
I need it to be pink.
While we out here talk aboutthis soft life.
Because the reality of it is weout here with the goose and
growth'cause I'm gonna bedrinking and growing.
I just need y'all to know that.
But what does the soft lifereally mean?
It's marketed with like ease,luxury boundaries with silky

(01:46):
robes, lace fronts, clean homes,and the most ideal husband.
I hope I sound like a commercial'cause that's how the hell IG
and TikTok be out here giving itto you.
They'll make you think that thisis the soft life.
You got your dusting powders,you got your skincare, your
workout routine.
The most ideal wife, husband,bringing in flowers and putting

(02:07):
them on the the island everyday.
But really is that sustainable?
But we haven't done it in awork.
Are we really, really, reallyliving that life or just posting
about it?
Because that right there iscrazy and is it really fucking
sustainable?
Can we even stay in that?
Is that something you gonna doall the time?

(02:29):
Are we gonna always stay in awhite glove service?
Because what I realized, youknow, we start out with white
glove service in the beginning,those connections, and then
after a while it falls old.
But are we just dressing up?
Avoidance masks and self care.
cause we put on a mask realquick to show up for others, and

(02:50):
I feel like some people arereally out here using the soft
life aesthetic to avoid doingthe hard emotional work.
Because sometimes you do have tocheck in with your damn self
healing growth and your damnresponsibilities.
Some people are avoiding thatand so then the soft life
becomes code for, I don't wannado it.
I don't wanna deal with thatshit today.

(03:12):
And yes, I've been there.
I have been there.
I don't wanna do it.
Clock me out.
I'm the queen of freakingprocrastination and calling it
self kid.
Because I will go, go, go, andthen I stop, and I'm just tired
of being responsible.
So I'm gonna call it the softlife.
I'm gonna call it self care.

(03:32):
I'm gonna do whatever.
But we get into this soft lifethat we're trying to achieve
without doing the work behind itso that we can actually sustain
it.
Coming from being in survivalmode since I was 14 when my mom
passed away, I only knowsurvival.
So for a long time I thoughtthat, you know, soft life was

(03:55):
weak.
And what I realized is that itdoesn't mean weak, it means
aligned to me.
Here's what I've learned.
A healthy soft life is earned.
You just don't declare it.
You do the work, the right kindof work to sustain truly a soft

(04:16):
life.
When you are aligned with yourpurpose, your peace, and your
truth, it means showing up foryourself with grace and
intention, not excuses.
Creating space, not avoidingreality is truly a healthy, soft
life.
You wanna solve life, cool.

(04:37):
Then you gotta be willing tohave those hard ass
conversations, not just withyourself, but with others as
well, to truly heal yourself.
That's what a long-term peacecomes in at, that sustainable,
soft life.
I just want y'all to be able toshoot, make peace your default,

(04:58):
not your escape.
Stop calling, numbing and hidingself-care.
Let's be real.
You gotta be able to deal withyour shit.
You just can't stop.
Be aware, be intentional, andwhen you are constantly in that
space of owning your peace,being responsible and doing that

(05:20):
real inner work, that's where Ibelieve our soft life is
sustained.
I want you to think about areyou truly creating peace?
Are you just running from yourdiscomfort in the next few days,
weeks, months?
Ask yourself, am I avoidinggrowth in the name of peace or
am I building a life that feelssoft because I've actually

(05:42):
earned it and healed for it?
Be honest with yourself.
You deserve a soft life, but itshould be healthy and it should
be grounded in the truth, yourtruth.
Take time.
Write it down.
You know I'm famous for one towrite something down.
'cause once you get it out yourhead, you write it down, you
release it, you receive it in adifferent way.

(06:04):
I hope this helps somebody toreally think about that soft
life that we claim we want, anddon't know how to sustain it and
do the work.
And as always, thank you forspending your time and your
energy with me today.
I don't take it lightly at all.
Thanks for letting me pour intoyou just for a little while, and

(06:24):
hope you pour back into yourselftoo.
Until next time, stay growing,stay real and stay unapologetic.
Cheers.