September 24, 2024 • 17 mins
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Words carry significant meaning. Whether in conversations with others, business arrangements, or speaking to yourself, language is important. The words you use can cause misunderstandings, convey emotions, and show others who you really are. When someone tells you who they are, you'd best believe them!
Be mindful of your language, celebrate your achievements and adopt empowering language to foster personal growth and resilience.
I offer 1-to-1 training to help you find the systems, train the people, make it work and provide the best customer service in your salon. Send me a DM on Instagram to learn more! https://www.instagram.com/patricestar
Find out more about Patrice's courses and faves on her website https://www.thedesignstudiomd.com/
Music credit: LA Nightlife by Full Frontal Audio
A Subito Media production
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Patrice B (00:42):
Welcome back guys.
How are ya?
I am back again on the Tea withP on this Tacos Tequila Therapy
and the Tea with P.
But today I just want to giveyou a little bit more therapy in
this sharing, in this journey ofbeing healed and healing and
these discoveries of humanbehaviors.
(01:06):
Right?
And so, I have really just been,and I've been telling y'all
this, that I've been just tryingto be aware of my shit, right?
Of Patrice Patricin, when I'm a,I'm a verb, when I'm doing what
I do, whatever that might be inthat moment.
But in the last couple of weeks,I've been just discovering, and
(01:31):
it's not just discovering, butyou're making the connection,
right?
To words mean things.
And when we talk about wordsmeaning things, I believe these
are conversations that we havewith others.
You know, words in a contract,words to yourself and how you
(01:53):
speak to yourself.
Right?
So I'm definitely a big person.
I read the damn fine print.
Sometimes we got to read betweenthe lines with people, fine
print on a contract.
Shit, you better read the fineprint at a restaurant because
I'm telling you these littlethings that they will get you.
They will get you.
I went to a, a gathering and itwas at a crap spot and you just
(02:17):
never know like words meanthings.
So I am not a fan of a boil.
I do not want everything thrownin a bag.
Like let me experience my littleseafood.
Give me a little flavor.
And I want to experience themseparately.
And I asked the lady like, Hey,is this considered a boil?
Am I able to do all you can eat?
Because the event was all youcan eat without.
(02:38):
It being a boil.
Is this a boil?
She goes, no.
it was what I said.
I said, I'm not really a fan ofthe boils in the bag.
That's what I said.
And the lady, I was like, so isthis a boil?
And she goes, no.
And she answered no, becausehonestly, it ain't a damn boil
in a bag.
(02:59):
It was a boil, but in a tray.
It wasn't in a bag.
So she answered no.
So this new lesson for me isthat words mean things.
What are you saying?
When we're asking questions orwe're making statements, what
does it say?
(03:20):
Because words mean things.
And we think about this in asense of like when someone is
expressing their feelings to youand they're expressing love.
does it always align with whatthey're saying?
Right?
Does the love align with thelove that the, the love that
(03:42):
they show?
Does it align with the wordsthat they express?
And so when I am thinking aboutwords meaning things, it's like,
what are you saying?
Are you saying this out offormality?
Um, is it just an answer to apart of the question?
Like, what are we doing?
(04:02):
So words mean things.
But in one of my recentdiscoveries, it's just not how
others govern themselves inconversations or how we read
contracts and what those wordsmean.
But it's how I'm havingconversations with myself and
what do they mean.
So in life, I've had someexperiences from a teenager now
(04:25):
to adulthood.
We all have, but for me it'sreally taking account of where
I've been and where I'm going ismy new journey of where I have
been out here in this thingcalled life and I used to say.
(04:46):
I've been through a lot.
I've been through so much.
And I mean, the fact of thematter is that, yeah, we all
have, and this is what I'msaying to you is that I am not
diminishing anyone's, journey,whatever that might be.
I'm not measuring difficulty.
(05:06):
There's no measurement here.
But sometimes it's how we lookat our adversity.
And my discovery is that I needto change it.
How look at the things that I'vebeen through.
While I'm aware of them.
And I'm becoming more aware andI'm acknowledging it, but
(05:28):
instead of, wearing the past asa badge of what you've been
through and the things that havehappened and the different
things in life where it wasn'tmay not have been so great.
It's changing my verbiage on howI view it.
Because words mean things.
(05:49):
Instead of saying I've beenthrough something, I've came
through a lot because I'm goingto tell you something.
This shit is a success story.
I had to reflect and I had todo, an accolades list.
I felt like I needed to acceptmy award and I had to go through
and think about, girl, wherehave you been?
(06:11):
In his journey.
And I really had to process andchange my verbiage on how I
view.
The different things that I had,quote unquote, been through.
Nah sis, you came through thatshit because look at where you
are now.
(06:32):
And when I came through, I camethrough at peace.
On top.
I am not hardened by what I haveexperienced.
But when I say what I've beenthrough, it seems like I'm
carrying it with me instead of Icame through and I'm on the
other side of that because theperson I was then is damn sure
(06:53):
not the person that I am now.
And I'm going to tell you, I'm,I was the one who didn't always
celebrate my wins and givemyself my flowers because I
didn't think I had to.
I'd be like, I been there, donethat.
And I move on to the next thingthat I need to accomplish
because I'm always movingforward.
There's always an elevation forme.
I learn from everything andeveryone.
(07:17):
And I'm definitely aware, like Itold y'all before, and I will
tell y'all each and every timeI'm aware of my shit, but are we
always aware of our shit?
And so the more and more Ibecome aware of my shit, the
people around me, I got to makethe, you know what I'm saying?
I don't, I don't have to, butI'm aware of what I'm listening
to and what I'm not going toallow my friends to speak into
themselves.
(07:37):
Right?
Now, sis, be aware of your shitand I had to say this to a
friend because when I tell you Igot one friend that will stand
ten toes down in her mouth likea trauma, that shit is a
motherfucking badge of honor.
And note that if she hears this,I done told her this shit
because we had theseconversations often, right?
But we were having a discussionjust about moving her forward
(07:59):
and she was damn sure they'regoing to tell me what she ain't
going to do.
And I'm gonna tell you, this wasover the phone, I could tell you
that since eyebrows was touchingand shoulders was tight, I
probably felt through the phoneand shake cause she was moving
that head like, and what?
I ain't gonna do it, I ain'tnever gonna do it again.
And I was like, of course younot.
(08:21):
Because you ain't the sameperson.
But what we cannot do is putenergy into the words.
Because they mean things and Icannot let you still continue to
give power to what you've beenthrough because you came through
it and you ain't even the sameperson, but the amount of energy
(08:44):
she put in what she wasn't goingto do is not the same energy she
puts into what she's going to doand what she can do will do and
have done because she wasstaying in a space.
that wasn't serving her.
Now, my cousin, I'm tellingy'all, she, she pointed this out
and I, I think of it this way,but when I experienced
(09:09):
something, let's say it's arelationship and this death,
this conversation was definitelyin the sense of a relationship,
um, or connection, I'm gonnacall them connections.
If I have a connection withsomeone and it ends, My life is
not over.
I'm definitely moving the fuckon.
Right now, the people that, youknow, for whatever reason it
(09:30):
ended, whether they like me atthe moment, I like them.
It doesn't even matter becausein that space, we done life has
not ended.
I do believe that God said, Hey,since that wasn't the last one,
that wasn't the only one it'stime to get back out on the
horse.
It's not time to stop becausethis one person, you know, ended
with this one person, life mustgo on.
(09:50):
What did you get from it?
And I usually try to learn mylessons in the moment of
reflection of, Hey, what could Ihave done differently?
What am I taking away from this?
And I do reflect on the goodtimes.
What was good?
What would I keep?
And I moved Diva going.
Cause I don't know why peoplethink out here that you supposed
(10:12):
to stop cause they left.
I don't care if they pause theirlife for 20 years.
I'm going to move the fuck onbecause we have parted ways and
that's not where my life shouldend.
But she said that it was alwaysthe thing that I got back out on
the horse and I kept going.
But that wasn't just inrelationships as I reflect on my
(10:33):
journey.
I keep moving because sometimesthe words that I speak to myself
is that this is not the end.
this moment is a moment.
It is not the day.
It's not my life.
It's a moment in life.
And I can grow from this.
I could be better than this.
So when I say that words meanthings, I want to say this, how
(10:56):
you speak to yourself.
is the most important part ofwords, meaning things.
And for the most part, it takesus being accountable for
ourselves in this process of thewords, meaning things.
I will not tell someone that Ilove them if I do not mean that
(11:17):
wholeheartedly.
And when I do, I'm in fullScorpio mode, believe me, I mean
that shit.
I got your back.
I'm here for you.
I love you.
I'm all in, but I am a person ifI'm out, I'm out and you don't
get to experience that side,right?
But I'm that way in work.
(11:39):
I'm all in.
But my word is my word, right?
And I find that some people, youknow, don't really pay attention
to that words mean things.
Even when they are speakingnegatively to someone.
you know what I mean?
Are those people, oh gosh, thosepeople who are sarcastically,
(12:02):
belittling you, you can see itlike, and they were like, huh,
it's a joke.
I should, I know joke.
Stop playing with me and beaware.
Cause sometimes you got to popthe kid for touching the damn
socket immediately when they doit.
Not five years later, not nextweek, catch him in the moment.
So they know don't play withyou.
Because when you allowsomebody's words to continue
(12:25):
feeding you and especially in anegative light that they make a
joke of, imagine what that doesto someone's spirit and how they
show up in the friendship or therelationship.
You think they're going to showup as their best self when you
keep putting them down in ajoking manner?
Or in a hurtful way because yourintent is to keep them down?
(12:46):
Words mean things.
So when someone tells yousomething, pay attention.
What is the fine print?
Words mean things.
What does that mean?
What does that say?
And don't pick up no bad habitsfrom people that don't know how
to talk to people.
Words mean things when you aretalking to yourself, when you
(13:08):
are You know, in your moments ofduress and you just don't know
which way you're going to go.
You don't know how you're goingto do it.
You're trying to plan yourfuture, trying to forget your
past.
Be kinder to yourself.
Those words that you speak toothers and to yourself mean
things.
(13:29):
And those things affect yourmentals and it affects how you
perform in life and how you showup sometimes, how you view
things.
And we have to hear the people,not just listen, but hear the
people.
What are they saying?
And my ears are open to words,meaning things.
(13:49):
When somebody tells yousomething, I'm able to really
take a glance at them and hearthem fully of, Hey, that's not
what they actually saying to me.
Like the lady with the boil,even though I use the word bag,
ah, this is a little off.
It was definitely a goddamnboil.
(14:11):
But the play on words, one, onedamn thing can change the whole
sentence.
And for me, instead of talkingabout where I have, what I have
been through and using the wordcome through feels so much, so
much more motherfuckingempowering.
Cause I done came through someshit.
(14:34):
Y'all and I'm celebrating likeshit cause I'm like, whoa, look
at where you are now.
I'm Cause I got visions of whereI'm going.
So the conversation I have nowand the words that I'm using now
and how I speak life into myselfand anybody around me matters.
Because words mean things.
(14:55):
They really do.
Even though they are just words.
It evokes an emotion.
Shit, you can call somebody abitch.
And it can be how they say it.
They do mean things in whatcontext.
Somebody can be pissed off.
Somebody can be like, Heyfriend, but they mean things.
(15:15):
Who are they coming from?
What is the context?
What's the fine print?
What's between the lines?
Words mean things.
Tone, how you say it, what yousay.
And shit, trust and believesometimes it's the words that
you don't say that speak so muchmore than the words that you do.
(15:40):
So in my newfound journey ofthis healed and healing, love on
yourself a little bit more.
Be kinder to yourself.
Give yourself flowers.
For all of your accomplishmentsof what you have come through,
not just what you've beenthrough.
(16:03):
Sometimes just write it down.
You might need to write down atthe end of the day, like three
things of accomplishments forthe day.
Not what you didn't get through,but what you did just to remind
yourself of who the fuck youare, because I'm sure you're
absolutely amazing.
Um, I believe that for you.
(16:25):
I believe that for me.
And there's always in myrandomness with this podcast,
you know, on the healed andhealing journey.
Y'all who knows what's going tobe next time when I, what I'm
going to be talking about when Icome back to y'all, cause y'all
y'all know I'll be random, but Iappreciate you spending your
(16:47):
time with me.
As always, until next time.
Welcome back guys.
How are ya?
I am back again on the Tea withP on this Tacos Tequila Therapy
and the Tea with P.
But today I just want to giveyou a little bit more therapy in
this sharing, in this journey ofbeing healed and healing and
these discoveries of humanbehaviors.
(01:06):
Right?
And so, I have really just been,and I've been telling y'all
this, that I've been just tryingto be aware of my shit, right?
Of Patrice Patricin, when I'm a,I'm a verb, when I'm doing what
I do, whatever that might be inthat moment.
But in the last couple of weeks,I've been just discovering, and
(01:31):
it's not just discovering, butyou're making the connection,
right?
To words mean things.
And when we talk about wordsmeaning things, I believe these
are conversations that we havewith others.
You know, words in a contract,words to yourself and how you
(01:53):
speak to yourself.
Right?
So I'm definitely a big person.
I read the damn fine print.
Sometimes we got to read betweenthe lines with people, fine
print on a contract.
Shit, you better read the fineprint at a restaurant because
I'm telling you these littlethings that they will get you.
They will get you.
I went to a, a gathering and itwas at a crap spot and you just
(02:17):
never know like words meanthings.
So I am not a fan of a boil.
I do not want everything thrownin a bag.
Like let me experience my littleseafood.
Give me a little flavor.
And I want to experience themseparately.
And I asked the lady like, Hey,is this considered a boil?
Am I able to do all you can eat?
Because the event was all youcan eat without.
(02:38):
It being a boil.
Is this a boil?
She goes, no.
it was what I said.
I said, I'm not really a fan ofthe boils in the bag.
That's what I said.
And the lady, I was like, so isthis a boil?
And she goes, no.
And she answered no, becausehonestly, it ain't a damn boil
in a bag.
(02:59):
It was a boil, but in a tray.
It wasn't in a bag.
So she answered no.
So this new lesson for me isthat words mean things.
What are you saying?
When we're asking questions orwe're making statements, what
does it say?
(03:20):
Because words mean things.
And we think about this in asense of like when someone is
expressing their feelings to youand they're expressing love.
does it always align with whatthey're saying?
Right?
Does the love align with thelove that the, the love that
(03:42):
they show?
Does it align with the wordsthat they express?
And so when I am thinking aboutwords meaning things, it's like,
what are you saying?
Are you saying this out offormality?
Um, is it just an answer to apart of the question?
Like, what are we doing?
(04:02):
So words mean things.
But in one of my recentdiscoveries, it's just not how
others govern themselves inconversations or how we read
contracts and what those wordsmean.
But it's how I'm havingconversations with myself and
what do they mean.
So in life, I've had someexperiences from a teenager now
(04:25):
to adulthood.
We all have, but for me it'sreally taking account of where
I've been and where I'm going ismy new journey of where I have
been out here in this thingcalled life and I used to say.
(04:46):
I've been through a lot.
I've been through so much.
And I mean, the fact of thematter is that, yeah, we all
have, and this is what I'msaying to you is that I am not
diminishing anyone's, journey,whatever that might be.
I'm not measuring difficulty.
(05:06):
There's no measurement here.
But sometimes it's how we lookat our adversity.
And my discovery is that I needto change it.
How look at the things that I'vebeen through.
While I'm aware of them.
And I'm becoming more aware andI'm acknowledging it, but
(05:28):
instead of, wearing the past asa badge of what you've been
through and the things that havehappened and the different
things in life where it wasn'tmay not have been so great.
It's changing my verbiage on howI view it.
Because words mean things.
(05:49):
Instead of saying I've beenthrough something, I've came
through a lot because I'm goingto tell you something.
This shit is a success story.
I had to reflect and I had todo, an accolades list.
I felt like I needed to acceptmy award and I had to go through
and think about, girl, wherehave you been?
(06:11):
In his journey.
And I really had to process andchange my verbiage on how I
view.
The different things that I had,quote unquote, been through.
Nah sis, you came through thatshit because look at where you
are now.
(06:32):
And when I came through, I camethrough at peace.
On top.
I am not hardened by what I haveexperienced.
But when I say what I've beenthrough, it seems like I'm
carrying it with me instead of Icame through and I'm on the
other side of that because theperson I was then is damn sure
(06:53):
not the person that I am now.
And I'm going to tell you, I'm,I was the one who didn't always
celebrate my wins and givemyself my flowers because I
didn't think I had to.
I'd be like, I been there, donethat.
And I move on to the next thingthat I need to accomplish
because I'm always movingforward.
There's always an elevation forme.
I learn from everything andeveryone.
(07:17):
And I'm definitely aware, like Itold y'all before, and I will
tell y'all each and every timeI'm aware of my shit, but are we
always aware of our shit?
And so the more and more Ibecome aware of my shit, the
people around me, I got to makethe, you know what I'm saying?
I don't, I don't have to, butI'm aware of what I'm listening
to and what I'm not going toallow my friends to speak into
themselves.
(07:37):
Right?
Now, sis, be aware of your shitand I had to say this to a
friend because when I tell you Igot one friend that will stand
ten toes down in her mouth likea trauma, that shit is a
motherfucking badge of honor.
And note that if she hears this,I done told her this shit
because we had theseconversations often, right?
But we were having a discussionjust about moving her forward
(07:59):
and she was damn sure they'regoing to tell me what she ain't
going to do.
And I'm gonna tell you, this wasover the phone, I could tell you
that since eyebrows was touchingand shoulders was tight, I
probably felt through the phoneand shake cause she was moving
that head like, and what?
I ain't gonna do it, I ain'tnever gonna do it again.
And I was like, of course younot.
(08:21):
Because you ain't the sameperson.
But what we cannot do is putenergy into the words.
Because they mean things and Icannot let you still continue to
give power to what you've beenthrough because you came through
it and you ain't even the sameperson, but the amount of energy
(08:44):
she put in what she wasn't goingto do is not the same energy she
puts into what she's going to doand what she can do will do and
have done because she wasstaying in a space.
that wasn't serving her.
Now, my cousin, I'm tellingy'all, she, she pointed this out
and I, I think of it this way,but when I experienced
(09:09):
something, let's say it's arelationship and this death,
this conversation was definitelyin the sense of a relationship,
um, or connection, I'm gonnacall them connections.
If I have a connection withsomeone and it ends, My life is
not over.
I'm definitely moving the fuckon.
Right now, the people that, youknow, for whatever reason it
(09:30):
ended, whether they like me atthe moment, I like them.
It doesn't even matter becausein that space, we done life has
not ended.
I do believe that God said, Hey,since that wasn't the last one,
that wasn't the only one it'stime to get back out on the
horse.
It's not time to stop becausethis one person, you know, ended
with this one person, life mustgo on.
(09:50):
What did you get from it?
And I usually try to learn mylessons in the moment of
reflection of, Hey, what could Ihave done differently?
What am I taking away from this?
And I do reflect on the goodtimes.
What was good?
What would I keep?
And I moved Diva going.
Cause I don't know why peoplethink out here that you supposed
(10:12):
to stop cause they left.
I don't care if they pause theirlife for 20 years.
I'm going to move the fuck onbecause we have parted ways and
that's not where my life shouldend.
But she said that it was alwaysthe thing that I got back out on
the horse and I kept going.
But that wasn't just inrelationships as I reflect on my
(10:33):
journey.
I keep moving because sometimesthe words that I speak to myself
is that this is not the end.
this moment is a moment.
It is not the day.
It's not my life.
It's a moment in life.
And I can grow from this.
I could be better than this.
So when I say that words meanthings, I want to say this, how
(10:56):
you speak to yourself.
is the most important part ofwords, meaning things.
And for the most part, it takesus being accountable for
ourselves in this process of thewords, meaning things.
I will not tell someone that Ilove them if I do not mean that
(11:17):
wholeheartedly.
And when I do, I'm in fullScorpio mode, believe me, I mean
that shit.
I got your back.
I'm here for you.
I love you.
I'm all in, but I am a person ifI'm out, I'm out and you don't
get to experience that side,right?
But I'm that way in work.
(11:39):
I'm all in.
But my word is my word, right?
And I find that some people, youknow, don't really pay attention
to that words mean things.
Even when they are speakingnegatively to someone.
you know what I mean?
Are those people, oh gosh, thosepeople who are sarcastically,
(12:02):
belittling you, you can see itlike, and they were like, huh,
it's a joke.
I should, I know joke.
Stop playing with me and beaware.
Cause sometimes you got to popthe kid for touching the damn
socket immediately when they doit.
Not five years later, not nextweek, catch him in the moment.
So they know don't play withyou.
Because when you allowsomebody's words to continue
(12:25):
feeding you and especially in anegative light that they make a
joke of, imagine what that doesto someone's spirit and how they
show up in the friendship or therelationship.
You think they're going to showup as their best self when you
keep putting them down in ajoking manner?
Or in a hurtful way because yourintent is to keep them down?
(12:46):
Words mean things.
So when someone tells yousomething, pay attention.
What is the fine print?
Words mean things.
What does that mean?
What does that say?
And don't pick up no bad habitsfrom people that don't know how
to talk to people.
Words mean things when you aretalking to yourself, when you
(13:08):
are You know, in your moments ofduress and you just don't know
which way you're going to go.
You don't know how you're goingto do it.
You're trying to plan yourfuture, trying to forget your
past.
Be kinder to yourself.
Those words that you speak toothers and to yourself mean
things.
(13:29):
And those things affect yourmentals and it affects how you
perform in life and how you showup sometimes, how you view
things.
And we have to hear the people,not just listen, but hear the
people.
What are they saying?
And my ears are open to words,meaning things.
(13:49):
When somebody tells yousomething, I'm able to really
take a glance at them and hearthem fully of, Hey, that's not
what they actually saying to me.
Like the lady with the boil,even though I use the word bag,
ah, this is a little off.
It was definitely a goddamnboil.
(14:11):
But the play on words, one, onedamn thing can change the whole
sentence.
And for me, instead of talkingabout where I have, what I have
been through and using the wordcome through feels so much, so
much more motherfuckingempowering.
Cause I done came through someshit.
(14:34):
Y'all and I'm celebrating likeshit cause I'm like, whoa, look
at where you are now.
I'm Cause I got visions of whereI'm going.
So the conversation I have nowand the words that I'm using now
and how I speak life into myselfand anybody around me matters.
Because words mean things.
(14:55):
They really do.
Even though they are just words.
It evokes an emotion.
Shit, you can call somebody abitch.
And it can be how they say it.
They do mean things in whatcontext.
Somebody can be pissed off.
Somebody can be like, Heyfriend, but they mean things.
(15:15):
Who are they coming from?
What is the context?
What's the fine print?
What's between the lines?
Words mean things.
Tone, how you say it, what yousay.
And shit, trust and believesometimes it's the words that
you don't say that speak so muchmore than the words that you do.
(15:40):
So in my newfound journey ofthis healed and healing, love on
yourself a little bit more.
Be kinder to yourself.
Give yourself flowers.
For all of your accomplishmentsof what you have come through,
not just what you've beenthrough.
(16:03):
Sometimes just write it down.
You might need to write down atthe end of the day, like three
things of accomplishments forthe day.
Not what you didn't get through,but what you did just to remind
yourself of who the fuck youare, because I'm sure you're
absolutely amazing.
Um, I believe that for you.
(16:25):
I believe that for me.
And there's always in myrandomness with this podcast,
you know, on the healed andhealing journey.
Y'all who knows what's going tobe next time when I, what I'm
going to be talking about when Icome back to y'all, cause y'all
y'all know I'll be random, but Iappreciate you spending your
(16:47):
time with me.
As always, until next time.
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