December 30, 2024 • 40 mins
Reflect on 2024 with us, a year where we learned that true growth lies in consistency and the freedom of taking well-deserved breaks. What if breaking free from self-imposed expectations could unlock your creativity and spontaneity? Discover how we've embraced new ventures, like starting a podcast, and how we’re gearing up for 2025 with fresh goals, first-time adventures, and the unique idea of habit stacking from "Atomic Habits."
Tackle the challenging realms of toxicity head-on as we explore its impact on personal and professional environments. Learn the art of setting boundaries through self-awareness and effective communication with "I statements." Find out how to maintain a positive mindset by walking away from negativity, handling toxic interactions, and fostering environments conducive to personal growth and creativity, despite the presence of boldly toxic individuals.
Uncover the power of humility and collaboration in countering toxicity and fostering positive spaces. Humility is not a sign of weakness; rather, it’s a superpower that helps us remain grounded and curious. By prioritizing collaboration over competition and celebrating others' successes, we can uplift each other and create a more inclusive atmosphere. As we bid farewell to 2024 and welcome 2025, let’s join together, elevate our spirits, and embrace the new year with hope and enthusiasm. Happy New Year!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
hey, it's jen the builder and cory, and welcome to
take the elevator.
The last episode of 2024.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
And just like that, jen, it's a wrap Poof,
ba-dum-bum, poof, you know.
Other than a few breaks and acouple of vacations, we did
pretty solid this year.
I thanked everyone that hung inthere with us as we took those
breaks and vacations.
(00:43):
But yeah, we have become veryconsistent and and it's been a
joy to do that.
So thank you guys.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I love what you're saying about taking breaks
because, as I think about 2024,I think we broke free from quite
a few things unbeknownst to us.
I didn't realize that until yousaid that taking a break.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
And taking a break was actually breaking free from
the expectations that we putupon ourselves.
Remember that quote I justcreated.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
I've been in this really cool space of creating
and challenging myself and Iwrote a blog and the quote said
something like this when I letgo of the expectations, I
experienced no limitations.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, that's a really good quote and I'm going to be
using that.
Yeah, come 2025.
I love that.
You know, 2025 is offering alot of big things for us, and I
hope it's offering a lot of bigthings for you guys too.
I just wanted to say thisbefore we get too deep into
whatever we're going to betalking about.
You know, if you're interestedin starting a podcast, if you're
(01:52):
interested in seeing what elseis out there for you to I don't
know let's say, be creative,explore, challenge yourself.
You know what, reach out to usand tell us what you'd like to
do and if we could be of anyassistance.
(02:13):
You know, being an elevator ismore than just elevating
yourself.
You have to elevate someoneelse in order to be an effective
elevator.
So I'm just going to put us outthere.
If that's something you'relooking to do, maybe we can help
you out, maybe we can give yousome pointers, and if you want
to go deeper than that, thenwe'll talk about that and what
that looks like.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
We'd love to do that, I think when we started podcast
.
Breaking free in that momentwas from overthinking.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Whenever people typically start something new,
they go into, it needs to beperfect.
It's got to be this before itcan be that.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Right.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
And I think, because of the time that we did the
podcast, we were just like we'rebreaking free from all of this
because who knows what'shappening right now.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Yeah, I mean, that was a big part of it Just saying
, you know what, let's just dowhat we want to do.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah, so we hope that , whatever you're thinking about
doing, break free from theoverthinking.
Yeah way free from that.
Yeah, because that kind ofstuff will hold you down for
sure.
So, speaking of breaking free,a lot of people create goals,
whether be at work, right, yourprofessional goals, your
(03:26):
personal development goals, andwe have some for genco, for sure
, and the fuzzy furry forest.
That, no doubt, is very seriousstuff, and so I create things
for me that are more fun.
Um, not that genco is not funand not that works not, but this
is fun at a whole.
Nother level.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yeah, and I want to be real clear, crystal clear on
this.
So jen knows how to bring thefun and she is like, uh, if I
have a a in fun, she has adoctorate in fun.
She knows how to bring the funand the happy.
So, yeah, her stuff is alwaysgoing to be a lot more enjoyable
(04:04):
than some of the things I'mcreating and involved in.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Aw, enjoyable in a different way.
Yeah, I think it's more wackyand quirky.
There you go.
So I'm on this kick about doingthings for the first time in
2025.
What I did is, furthermore,challenge myself to start doing
it at the end of 2024.
So some of you may have seenthe reel already.
(04:29):
It's getting quite a few plays.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
If you haven't check it out on Instagram.
It's hilarious, hilarious.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
So I tried caviar for the first time and I promise
yes, I'm 51 and I legit have nothad caviar, but yes, I have, so
that was a good time for NewYear's Day.
I'd love to hear what you allhave planned.
What I'm going to do for myhusband is create one of our
(04:59):
favorite dishes that we like tohave a kingfish.
So they have.
What is it called?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Misoyaki.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah, and it's Chilean sea bass and it's to die
for, and so with that comescost I would not die for it.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Well, but I would live for it yes we'll live for
it.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
There you go.
So I'm gonna make a miso basedsoup with salmon yes and so
that's the first I haven't donethat and so I ordered all the um
things that I needed.
That's fun, and then my otherfirst to couple with it, because
I love kind of habit stacking.
(05:35):
So I'm starting to do the firstand first things.
I have a cool instapot justsitting on the counter and I
have not used it yet yeah, it'stime yeah, so those are my first
for right on january 1st.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I'm so excited hey, I like that word you used what
instapot.
No habit stacking man.
I'm taking that it's minegotcha do it.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
So I wish I could take credit for that one.
But if y'all want to get intogood book for the new year,
Atomic Habits Excellent.
That's where I got HabitsStacking.
He's got a bunch of goodpointers on how to create good
habits.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah.
So, speaking of creating habits, we are creating the habit to
follow through with what we'vesaid.
So last episode, we talkedabout toxicity, toxicity, yeah,
and we said we're not gonnasolve anything right now, we're
just gonna let it land and letit breathe a little bit.
Well, we want to break freefrom toxicity, right, absolutely
(06:36):
so.
I'm so excited, cory, that youget to lead us in this dialogue,
and I am just here to be in itand be present.
Well, are we gonna share theresults first or oh?
so my ipad's acting up, but Ican share the results like
overall.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah, if that's okay yeah, this is exciting, guys,
you want to hear this.
If you heard the last podcast,then you would know what we're
talking about, but if you didn't, let me just fill you in a
little bit.
So we had this survey that wesent out, and if you went to
where Jen told you to go todownload it or to fill it out,
then you would know that it wasa series of questions that was
(07:16):
asking you how you would handlecertain things or how you feel
about certain things, and thenit gives you this overall score,
and so we had quite a fewpeople take it, and I'm really
excited about this because Ilove engagement and when people
engage with what we're talkingabout, it just lets us know that
we're on the right track withthe conversations we're having
(07:39):
on Take the Elevator.
So some of the results came inand we're not going to talk
about who we think or who weassume did what or anything like
that, because it's notimportant.
What's important is is thatpeople are engaging.
So there's a few people thatturned in some things and Jen's
going to give us some overallresults, and I know that was a
(08:00):
little bit muddled, but here wego.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, excuse me for that-fi is running real slow
right now, but that's all, it'sall good.
So we had a total of sixquestions on the mini assessment
.
That said, are you the cockyone?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
yeah, and I think we had like 25 people.
Yeah, uh, answer the, which isgood.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
You know that means they took the time to take it,
and that's a big moment for us,because who the heck wants to
sit there and take thisassessment?
But I'm going to say this Forthe 25 elevators that took it
Corey, this is a group of humble, confident people.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yes and I love it.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
There's only one, so 20% for this one question.
It was something along thelines when I enter a room, I
expect to be the center ofattention, or I am the center of
attention.
One person said they were, andnow I wrote the assessment and I
thought well, does that reallymean you're cocky?
(09:01):
You could just be one of thosepeople that have that kind of
presence, right like right.
So I thought uh, I could have.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I could have maybe changed this question up a
little bit no, no, no, I see Ithink that was the perfect
question, because there's somany different ways it can go.
So maybe you do feel likeyou're the center of attention
when you walk in the room, orperhaps you're the keynote
speaker and so everyone is gonnanotice you anyway, right, and
so you would expect that someonewould you know, or the majority
(09:32):
of people would be payingattention to who you are, what
you're doing and why you'remaking your way up to the stage.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Um, right, which proves my point right.
That is a uh question thatcould have been worded a little
differently, you know?
Okay, I hear you yeah, but soeveryone was in that space of um
confident yet humble, right?
I love the honesty in thisquestion.
Um, most of us actually herechose sometimes, but I try to
(10:04):
keep it to myself.
The question was do you findyourself thinking I could have
done that better?
When others succeed?
And 80% of us thought sometimes, but I try to keep it to myself
.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Now you know what's interesting for me on that.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
I never think that, because I just don't compete
with people in that way, I'malways in competition with
myself.
It's hard for me to competewith other people because I may
already feel like there'snothing to compete about.
I need to challenge myselfbecause I'm going to set a bar
that I probably can't get over,and so that's my rationale
(10:45):
anyway.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I remember when we had that conversation years ago
and you said I'm my owncompetition.
Right right, I'm contra, moncher, like I love competition,
and sometimes to the point wherethere is no competition, but
I'll create one Because I lovegames, I love gamification.
(11:07):
For me it's a motivating factor.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
So I will sometimes think I could have done that
better.
But, then guess what I'm like?
Shut the heck up, jen.
I don't know if you've everdone this anyone listening where
there is like a legitconversation going on in your
head with yourself.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, so that's how it is for me when that comes up.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Nice, nice.
So yeah, again, just you know,going over the fact that we had
this survey and had some peopleanswer some questions and we got
pretty good results, and do westill have that survey available
?
If someone we do, okay, we doyou want to share a little bit?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
yeah, so on my instagram, jen the builder
underscore elevate.
It is in my bio yeah, the linkso you can still participate in
that.
Corey and I are going to be onZoom after the new year, shortly
after, to talk about theassessment a little bit and be
(12:11):
able to talk to you instead ofjust having this one-way
conversation on this podcast.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Right.
So let's jump right into it.
How do we dial back from thetoxicity?
How do we tone down, how do wenot be so overly confident or
even toxic?
I mean, any form of toxicity isgoing to be a bad thing.
So let's talk about how we candial it back and remove the
(12:41):
poisons that can make us, youknow, not that desirable to hang
around with.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah.
So where do you want to start,corey?
Because there's self and whatwe bring into a toxic
environment, and then there'show to deal with others who
bring it.
So I think starting with selffirst is always a good place to
be.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Absolutely, and in starting with self, I'm going to
introduce the method of walkingaway.
Sometimes we as people have toknow it's time for me to walk
away from this environment, fromthis conversation, from this
group of people.
And that's just because you'veentered into a toxic type
(13:26):
environment.
And so what ends up happeningis you just kind of join in and
before you know it, you're justoozing with this as well.
Now there's that flip side andwe'll get to that in just a hot
second that you bring thetoxicity to the conversation or
that you're already present inthe room with the toxic behavior
.
But for the most of us, I wouldsay we just have to learn when
(13:49):
to walk away and when to say notgoing to engage in that.
I really need a more positivemindset.
So I'm going to do something alittle bit different this time
around and hopefully you canmake that a pattern and a habit
to do that, opposed to join in.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, really good tip .
So that's a tip on how to dealwith others who are toxic.
So I'll stay in that.
And so when I hear what you'resaying, it's really around
setting boundaries right andjust learning to disengage from
unproductive or negativeinteractions, right, and it's
really easy for me maybe not foryou or anyone else but to get
(14:28):
sucked in because I'm very mucha socializer and so if any of
you know about communicationstyle, socializers boy, they're
just like in it, that's.
It's.
What gives me energy is to beable to socialize, yeah, and so
to walk away it's like, oh, Idon't get to socialize anymore,
(14:48):
so let me stay in that vein ofbeing a socializer.
I think what you can do in thatenvironment, too, is address it
directly, and good rule of thumbis using I statements on how to
express how their behavioraffects you.
So what I mean by that is,instead of saying to someone
(15:11):
you're always so negative or youalways talk about Corey and
it's just rude, right?
Yeah, using an I statementwould be something like I am
uncomfortable when you talkabout my husband, right, so it's
(15:32):
I, and then the feelings andhow it's impacting me, right?
So typically, when people onthe receiving end, they don't
feel so so attacked.
So there's a good tip.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I like that Because when you said that, it sounded
to me like you can put that injust about any situation
combination that you want to.
I don't feel comfortable havingthis kind of conversation at
work.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
I don't feel comfortable with you sharing
your opinions and feelings aboutthe boss or the supervisor or
the manager in those contexts,or however you want to word that
.
That's just a really goodescape, and not only is it a
good escape, it's probably ahealthy escape and you can save
(16:21):
your job, you can save yourselfand probably that person that's
having that conversation.
And those are green flags,because we always talk about red
flags, but those are greenflags.
If someone should say that tous, they're actually giving you
a way out, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Yeah.
So, greg, let me ask you Sure,if the person who's being toxic
is kind of attacking you in yourpresent, how do you deal with
that situation?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I'm I'm uh, and I'm sorry, I got excited when you
said that I'm just a straight tothe point kind of person.
Yeah, I don't like to swimaround it and pretend like you
know, I need to soften it orjelly or sugarcoat it.
That's the the proper term thatI was looking for.
Um, I'll just say in my mind,not not going there today, not
(17:14):
having this today, and I'll justshut it down and I'll simply
say you know what?
I got some stuff I got to takecare of.
I'm not able to have thisconversation now.
Got to go somewhere, got to dosomething.
Oh, that's my phone.
Let me get back to whatever Iwas doing before, because I
typically don't operate in thatnegative space.
(17:36):
And so when it's brought to meand I'm saying this with
confidence because I know I justdon't have time and I don't
like to operate in negativity,so if it's brought to me, I'm
forcing myself to get back intothe space that I'm supposed to
be in.
You can't create when you're ina negative space or a toxic
(17:59):
space.
It's important for creators,elevators and I'm talking to
everyone listening because Iknow you're definitely an
elevator, so it's it's almostimpossible for you to to create,
elevate in that negativity.
So get out of there as quickly,just get out out.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Do whatever you got to do, get out and then I think
too I'm going to kind of counterthat, sure, because I think
number one that's wise is justremove yourself from that,
especially in a work situationwhere it can escalate.
This is where conflictavoidance is actually a very
(18:38):
smart thing.
Now I've had people who havedone this to me chronically and
if I always exit, the behaviorcontinues right.
So I tried this one time and itactually worked.
And I have to tell you, insideI was not confident but I was
(18:58):
like I just got to try somethingdifferent.
Okay, because I need differentresults.
Oh, I'm interested what you got.
So I respectfully said what didyou say?
I'm sorry I might havemisunderstood that and they
boldly repeat and I just look atthem and it's that silence that
(19:23):
kind of echoes what they'vejust said and it plays in the
silence and for me it actuallyworked in that moment because
this person heard themselves inwhat they said.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Right.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
And I just looked at them.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
I so wish that that would work the majority of times
.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
But let me just tell you, there are some individuals
that are really, really bold intheir toxic behavior and, as you
said, they restate the wordsthey just spewed out and have no
regret in saying it, and thenthat's when you're really forced
to deal with it.
I would just like to offer this, as you know, not a solution,
(20:16):
but please brace yourself,because some people are just
that bold.
They just don't care.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, yeah.
So I think the conflictmanagement style you choose is
super important, based on thesituation.
Yeah, yeah, anyhow.
Can I add one other thing?
Sure, yeah, anyhow.
Can I add one other thing?
So, is getting out of the toxicenvironment, is not feeding the
ego and I'm talking about theego of the other person, right?
(20:42):
So not paying attention to it,not recognizing it, not laughing
along with them you know, right, and that's really difficult
for a people pleasing type ofperson.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
I know, and I know you're going to jump all over
this, but when you're a peoplepleasing type of person, you
don't want to leave anyone outof the loop.
You don't want anyone to feellike they're having a
conversation by themselves.
I'm excellent at that.
I can just you really are I canjust sit and not say a single
(21:16):
word.
I'm not going to laugh, and it'snot to be rude.
So let's, please, let's not getthat mixed up, right?
It's just.
I know, if I give oxygen to afire, that's already out of
control, exactly, it's justgoing to get further out of
control and possibly consume me.
So I won't give it oxygen and Irefuse to feed into it, and
(21:41):
that's why I have to saysomething.
And again, there are those thatare just that bold.
They just don't care.
And I've had, I have, I havehad to go the step further and
say, hey, what you're doingright now is not helping.
It's actually moving the needlein the opposite direction.
I can't do this.
I need to be able to functionin a more positive manner.
(22:05):
And I've had people still goforward with it, like they'll
acknowledge that you just saidwhat you said, but then within
seconds, they're right back intoit.
Yeah, and that's when I exit.
That's when I got to walk, Igot to go.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yeah, again, very wise to just go.
So for the people pleaser,that's another episode, and I
don't think that we've reallydelved into it.
Because the question is what'smaking you want to please people
?
What are you lacking or what isat the root cause of that?
Right?
And I think when you get tothat point is when you can
(22:39):
determine if, like, let me givean example real quick.
So if I'm a people pleaserbecause usually people please
people because they want to beliked or accepted, right, let's
say, for me it's, uh, because mypurpose is people, I want to
place everyone on positivelevels every day.
So you know I'm, I want to benice, I want to be kind to them
(23:04):
and acknowledge and make themfeel like they belong.
Well, then I get to look at myvalues of being kind, of
elevating, and what that reallymeans.
And when I really get down toit, being kind is being honest,
being kind is being authentic,being kind is wanting to see
(23:25):
them grow instead of keepingthem in a space that is highly
offensive and no one wants tosay so.
You know what I mean, oh, yeah,so I think value work is super
important when you do that.
And so if anyone's listening tothis and says I'm a people
pleaser and I can't figure thisout.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Like with anything, I recommend, uh, getting a coach
talking to someone about it,because it really helps yeah,
you know, got to talk your waythrough that because there's
layers to the people pleasingpersonality type and Jen and I
talked about this years andyears and years ago and we
bought this book called theDisease to Please and it just
(24:07):
opens up so many doors and turnson so many lights to why the
behavior exists and what you'retrying to accomplish, but you
never seem to be able toaccomplish that.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
And it really is a sickness right.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Yeah, anyhow.
So, oh, and then, by the way,for those who don't know, I am a
coach and I very much believein the power of journaling,
because it's the same thing astalking out, it's writing things
down, self reflecting andgetting in that space.
Just putting a plug for myselfout there, Plug away, All right.
(24:45):
So let's talk about speaking ofthat self reflection for
recovery.
So recovery from thisenvironment that you might have
contributed to or maybe not.
So here's a great question Am Icontributing to this
environment?
So if you're in a team or ifyou have familial relationships
(25:06):
and you find it toxic, askyourself am I contributing to
this environment If you'resaying something to fuel it, yes
.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
If you're not saying anything at all, yes.
And if you're laughing becausethere are funny parts of it, but
frowning on other parts, yes.
We have to learn as elevatorsto stand in opposition to
toxicity.
It grows out of control soflipping quick.
It's amazing.
(25:39):
You think and and this is whatI've learned over the years you
know, um, you're thinking thatthis couldn't be harmful, this
won't hurt anyone, this won't goanywhere past this room, but
you have no clue what the toxicperson is prepared to do.
And yes, I just rhymed there,but wasn't trying to Toxic.
(25:59):
People love to elevate it to thenext level.
It's never good enough to havethe room laughing.
They need everyone laughing,they need everyone involved.
And so they'll walk out of aroom after they've spewed
toxicity all over the place andthen go tell someone else.
And then tell someone else and,before you know it, everybody
(26:21):
knows, yeah.
And then the questions begin tohappen who was there?
And your name is going to be onthat list and you didn't say
anything, so you're contributing.
Yeah, good point.
Yeah, you're contributing.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yeah, good point.
Yeah, we don't really payattention to the things that
contribute to that.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Right right.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Right.
So yeah, that's a little bit ofan example of how journaling
helps.
Is that self-reflection, corey?
There's this thing that I'veread where it says humility
isn't a weakness, it's astrength.
You care to elaborate on thator tell us what you think about
(27:03):
that quote.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Um, I'm not sure how everyone's humility shows up,
and that's where I'm torn onthat question.
Some people's humility shows upa whole lot different than
others, and when that happensI'm questioning is that really
true humility, or is thatembarrassment, is that lack of
(27:26):
confidence?
What is that?
Because, again, it shows up inso many different forms.
So I can't say I fullysubscribe to that ideology.
Okay, so it's basically findingout from the individual what
humility means to them and howit looks Right, because some
people think that humility meansthat you're always eating crow,
(27:48):
you're always apologizing,you're always on the bad end of
the stick, and that's their formof humility.
And I'm like what are you doing?
That is not the way you play.
Humble like eating humble pieall day and all night, you know
Right.
So it's one of those things forme that it just depends on how
(28:11):
it shows up for each individual.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
That's really good, because the question that I
would reflect on, based on that,is what does humility mean to
me?
How does it show up and howdoes it line up with who I am?
Right?
So yeah, really good stuffthere.
Then, of course, with humility,keeping from getting cocky as
(28:38):
you're confident in who you are,because that's what we promote
here too.
That's part of elevating peopleis know who you are, know who's
you are, and what you bring andthe gifts that are yours are
solely yours, right?
That's a big deal.
So how do you keep yourselfgrounded?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
big deal.
So how do you keep yourselfgrounded?
The way I keep myself groundedis the more I think I know is,
the more I know I really don'tknow.
So I'm always in student modewhen I think I know a lot of
stuff, nice, and so it keeps megrounded and it keeps me from
going to that edge of the cliffwhere I'm like I got this, I
(29:26):
know all about this.
I mean playing bass.
People have told me someoutlandish things and I'm not
raining on their parade forthinking that I'm a good bassist
.
What I'm simply saying is thatI know how much I don't know
about playing bass.
So when someone says, oh my God, you're the most incredible
bassist I've ever heard, that'sjust in one ear and out the
(29:50):
other, because I know for a factthat I could study bass from
now until 20 years from now andstill know.
There's so much more for me toknow and learn, and with any
other subject I feel the exactsame way.
So I'm able to stay humble inthat way, because I'm not taking
any credit that I shouldn't betaking credit for If they just
(30:13):
tell me I'm a good bassist.
Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
I'm glad you think so , but I know where I'm trying to
get to, and that finish line isa long ways away again the
competition with yourself, yeah,so I want to talk about that
real quick competition and how,what a strategy I've used to
stay away from being competitivewith other people, especially
(30:38):
if anyone's here and you're aleader of a team.
You don't want to.
You don't want to be that.
Um, the quickest way to getover that is to get into
collaborative space, the wespace yeah right.
Bring people in, delegate, usethem for their strengths and not
rely solely on your own.
(30:59):
Easily, easily get over thecompetition thing.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Yeah that, that saying pride cometh before the
fall, it's a real thing.
It is so real.
And if you're a leader orsomeone that's in charge of a
group of people and you'reacting in pride or or cockiness,
uh it's, it's a long, hard,rough, harsh fall when you're in
(31:24):
that position becauseeveryone's watching and they
always tell you there's someonealways watching you, just when
you think no one's watching, noone's seeing that Everyone is
seeing it and then it's justgoing to get around.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yeah, and I think last episode too, corey, we
touched on celebrating otherpeople's wins, right, and
letting that be the thing wementioned, staying curious, yeah
.
And we shared a story about.
Because we lacked curiosity andwe were so quick to prove our
point we knew what stand wewanted to make.
(31:59):
Were so quick to prove ourpoint, we knew what stand we
wanted to make, we missed outand actually could have caused
some harm there in in the way wepresented and guys.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
I just wanted to share this with you.
You know, I talked to a lot ofdifferent people every after
every episode and it's soenjoyable to hear the wins and
the things that they'reaccomplishing.
I don't want to always.
I talk about what we're doinghere, because this is where we
(32:28):
are able to announce what'sgoing on, and on our platform,
which is the podcast.
But if I, if I see anybody I'mnot, you know, vomiting all the
things I'm doing and places I'mgoing, and anyone that knows me
can attest to this they have toask me or bring it up.
Hey, I heard you say you had todo this or you're going to go
here, but I just really want tohear your guys' wins.
(32:51):
I want to see what you guys areup to.
So that's why I'm alwaysinquisitive about your next move
or what your, your families,are doing kids in sports, kids
in scholastic type of uh ordeals, you know absolutely that.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
that's awesome to celebrate other people's wins.
Another thing and I'm going toend with this that I really seen
you you role model this so wellis you seek feedback all the
time on things that you'reworking on or a thought, that
you have an idea, and you alsooffer your feedback, and I think
(33:27):
that's important in this spacethat we're in as far as creating
, putting yourself out thereright and elevating people and
the work that they do Feedbackso important.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah, I do do that, and it's a scary situation, jen,
because people are brutallyhonest with me and if it's not
something they like or they'renot cool with, they tell me, and
so I'm really trying to learnin real time how to better
whatever it is.
I'm getting advice on Love,that Well.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
I'm getting advice on Love.
That Well, I think we coveredeverything.
I do want to say that we areabout to Everyone.
Listen up, we are almost goingto give Oswald the plushie away,
oswald the wise old owl is upfor grabs, and right now it's a
three-way tie.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
So I'm going to.
It's so funny because it's athree-way tie.
Yeah, so I'm gonna.
It's so funny because it's athree-way tie.
We're gonna have three moreways where you can be the winner
of this amazing plushie.
He's big, like I think.
For retail he would go aboutfifty dollars.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Yeah, so absolutely free.
He's part of the Fuzzy FurryForest.
If you haven't got the book yet, it's available on Amazon.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Yeah, and I really want to even make it more
challenging.
I'd love to see some morepeople heavily engaged to get
this Oswald, only because youknow it's going for a good cause
, it's for kids, it's for uhreading and and understanding
and building those uh bridges,yeah, friendships definitely so.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I love to say this there is an oswald song and we
had actually someone played thesong at a daycare that their kid
went to and we saw the kidsdance to it.
If you can I don't know send usa reel or let us know how your
(35:30):
kids or people you know react tothe song.
That'd be cool.
We'll put you in for the raffle.
Yeah, and then more to come onthat.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Speaking of songs, jen, yeah, we got another song
that we're going to play todayand we're going a little bit
longer than normal, but this isour last show of the year, so
we're just enjoying it, having agood time.
But this is a song about uh,sheriff slinky snake and this is
the book coming out 1125.
(35:59):
And we're just so excited aboutit.
And this song was put togetherby our daughter and our
son-in-law, michaela and John,and guys, you can't be mad about
your family putting together asong for a book that you and
your wife wrote together, or meand my wife wrote together.
(36:20):
So we're going to be playingthat right now and hope you guys
enjoy that.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yeah, and I think this song is just the vibes for
the book.
I love how they brought SheriffSlinky Snake alive in music.
Yeah, again, you know this bookis close to my heart.
It's my first one ever, youguys, so I'm going to be talking
about it, I'm going to beputting reels up, I'm going to
like pre-sell just to startgetting out there.
(36:49):
But yeah, here is SheriffSlinky Snake.
I hope you enjoy.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
Hey, yeah, badge, in search of a new name.
He speaks, it just stutters,but his eyes are sharp.
With every case he cracks.
He plays a jazzy harp, makingup the mysteries when the night
is still solving ghostly crimes.
With his slithering skills,slinky snakes the name in a
(37:38):
forest full of cheer.
With each sway, jazz knows histrue intentions, clear, jaded
past behind him, in themoonlight's gentle glow, solving
make-believe cases.
In the shadows they flow, furryfriends they gather.
(37:59):
When Slinky's on the prowl, hecrawls beneath their feet with
an open growl.
Shadows and silhouettes, hetwists around each clue,
imaginary dangers only he couldconstrue.
The night is velvet.
He scales a shimmered gleam infuzzy, furry forest.
Life's not, as it may seem, bye.
(38:20):
But a sheriff's slinky-snakeymakes the daylight right when
raveling the fabric of aself-made night.
Oh, the wind, it whispers likea saxophone's call.
(39:00):
It's past the bluesy balladechoing in the hall.
But his sheriff's squeaky snake, he makes the daylight ride,
unraveling the fabric of aself-made night.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Hope you loved it.
I love that song.
You gotta have your headphonesto me or your surround sound.
Turn that bass up and enjoy.
Well, everyone, I hope you hadan amazing 2024.
And I know that it's been roughfor a lot of people, but you
made it.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
You're here.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
2025 is right around the corner and let's just be all
about it and be there for oneanother.
There you go.
You know what's to take theelevator?
We say look up and let'selevate, elevate.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Every day, elevate Every day.
Happy New Year.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
Happy New Year.
hey, it's jen the builder and cory, and welcome to
take the elevator.
The last episode of 2024.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
And just like that, jen, it's a wrap Poof,
ba-dum-bum, poof, you know.
Other than a few breaks and acouple of vacations, we did
pretty solid this year.
I thanked everyone that hung inthere with us as we took those
breaks and vacations.
(00:43):
But yeah, we have become veryconsistent and and it's been a
joy to do that.
So thank you guys.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I love what you're saying about taking breaks
because, as I think about 2024,I think we broke free from quite
a few things unbeknownst to us.
I didn't realize that until yousaid that taking a break.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
And taking a break was actually breaking free from
the expectations that we putupon ourselves.
Remember that quote I justcreated.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
I've been in this really cool space of creating
and challenging myself and Iwrote a blog and the quote said
something like this when I letgo of the expectations, I
experienced no limitations.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, that's a really good quote and I'm going to be
using that.
Yeah, come 2025.
I love that.
You know, 2025 is offering alot of big things for us, and I
hope it's offering a lot of bigthings for you guys too.
I just wanted to say thisbefore we get too deep into
whatever we're going to betalking about.
You know, if you're interestedin starting a podcast, if you're
(01:52):
interested in seeing what elseis out there for you to I don't
know let's say, be creative,explore, challenge yourself.
You know what, reach out to usand tell us what you'd like to
do and if we could be of anyassistance.
(02:13):
You know, being an elevator ismore than just elevating
yourself.
You have to elevate someoneelse in order to be an effective
elevator.
So I'm just going to put us outthere.
If that's something you'relooking to do, maybe we can help
you out, maybe we can give yousome pointers, and if you want
to go deeper than that, thenwe'll talk about that and what
that looks like.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
We'd love to do that, I think when we started podcast
.
Breaking free in that momentwas from overthinking.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Whenever people typically start something new,
they go into, it needs to beperfect.
It's got to be this before itcan be that.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Right.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
And I think, because of the time that we did the
podcast, we were just like we'rebreaking free from all of this
because who knows what'shappening right now.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Yeah, I mean, that was a big part of it Just saying
, you know what, let's just dowhat we want to do.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Yeah, so we hope that , whatever you're thinking about
doing, break free from theoverthinking.
Yeah way free from that.
Yeah, because that kind ofstuff will hold you down for
sure.
So, speaking of breaking free,a lot of people create goals,
whether be at work, right, yourprofessional goals, your
(03:26):
personal development goals, andwe have some for genco, for sure
, and the fuzzy furry forest.
That, no doubt, is very seriousstuff, and so I create things
for me that are more fun.
Um, not that genco is not funand not that works not, but this
is fun at a whole.
Nother level.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Yeah, and I want to be real clear, crystal clear on
this.
So jen knows how to bring thefun and she is like, uh, if I
have a a in fun, she has adoctorate in fun.
She knows how to bring the funand the happy.
So, yeah, her stuff is alwaysgoing to be a lot more enjoyable
(04:04):
than some of the things I'mcreating and involved in.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Aw, enjoyable in a different way.
Yeah, I think it's more wackyand quirky.
There you go.
So I'm on this kick about doingthings for the first time in
2025.
What I did is, furthermore,challenge myself to start doing
it at the end of 2024.
So some of you may have seenthe reel already.
(04:29):
It's getting quite a few plays.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
If you haven't check it out on Instagram.
It's hilarious, hilarious.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
So I tried caviar for the first time and I promise
yes, I'm 51 and I legit have nothad caviar, but yes, I have, so
that was a good time for NewYear's Day.
I'd love to hear what you allhave planned.
What I'm going to do for myhusband is create one of our
(04:59):
favorite dishes that we like tohave a kingfish.
So they have.
What is it called?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Misoyaki.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah, and it's Chilean sea bass and it's to die
for, and so with that comescost I would not die for it.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Well, but I would live for it yes we'll live for
it.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
There you go.
So I'm gonna make a miso basedsoup with salmon yes and so
that's the first I haven't donethat and so I ordered all the um
things that I needed.
That's fun, and then my otherfirst to couple with it, because
I love kind of habit stacking.
(05:35):
So I'm starting to do the firstand first things.
I have a cool instapot justsitting on the counter and I
have not used it yet yeah, it'stime yeah, so those are my first
for right on january 1st.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I'm so excited hey, I like that word you used what
instapot.
No habit stacking man.
I'm taking that it's minegotcha do it.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
So I wish I could take credit for that one.
But if y'all want to get intogood book for the new year,
Atomic Habits Excellent.
That's where I got HabitsStacking.
He's got a bunch of goodpointers on how to create good
habits.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah.
So, speaking of creating habits, we are creating the habit to
follow through with what we'vesaid.
So last episode, we talkedabout toxicity, toxicity, yeah,
and we said we're not gonnasolve anything right now, we're
just gonna let it land and letit breathe a little bit.
Well, we want to break freefrom toxicity, right, absolutely
(06:36):
so.
I'm so excited, cory, that youget to lead us in this dialogue,
and I am just here to be in itand be present.
Well, are we gonna share theresults first or oh?
so my ipad's acting up, but Ican share the results like
overall.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah, if that's okay yeah, this is exciting, guys,
you want to hear this.
If you heard the last podcast,then you would know what we're
talking about, but if you didn't, let me just fill you in a
little bit.
So we had this survey that wesent out, and if you went to
where Jen told you to go todownload it or to fill it out,
then you would know that it wasa series of questions that was
(07:16):
asking you how you would handlecertain things or how you feel
about certain things, and thenit gives you this overall score,
and so we had quite a fewpeople take it, and I'm really
excited about this because Ilove engagement and when people
engage with what we're talkingabout, it just lets us know that
we're on the right track withthe conversations we're having
(07:39):
on Take the Elevator.
So some of the results came inand we're not going to talk
about who we think or who weassume did what or anything like
that, because it's notimportant.
What's important is is thatpeople are engaging.
So there's a few people thatturned in some things and Jen's
going to give us some overallresults, and I know that was a
(08:00):
little bit muddled, but here wego.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, excuse me for that-fi is running real slow
right now, but that's all, it'sall good.
So we had a total of sixquestions on the mini assessment
.
That said, are you the cockyone?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
yeah, and I think we had like 25 people.
Yeah, uh, answer the, which isgood.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
You know that means they took the time to take it,
and that's a big moment for us,because who the heck wants to
sit there and take thisassessment?
But I'm going to say this Forthe 25 elevators that took it
Corey, this is a group of humble, confident people.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yes and I love it.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
There's only one, so 20% for this one question.
It was something along thelines when I enter a room, I
expect to be the center ofattention, or I am the center of
attention.
One person said they were, andnow I wrote the assessment and I
thought well, does that reallymean you're cocky?
(09:01):
You could just be one of thosepeople that have that kind of
presence, right like right.
So I thought uh, I could have.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I could have maybe changed this question up a
little bit no, no, no, I see Ithink that was the perfect
question, because there's somany different ways it can go.
So maybe you do feel likeyou're the center of attention
when you walk in the room, orperhaps you're the keynote
speaker and so everyone is gonnanotice you anyway, right, and
so you would expect that someonewould you know, or the majority
(09:32):
of people would be payingattention to who you are, what
you're doing and why you'remaking your way up to the stage.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Um, right, which proves my point right.
That is a uh question thatcould have been worded a little
differently, you know?
Okay, I hear you yeah, but soeveryone was in that space of um
confident yet humble, right?
I love the honesty in thisquestion.
Um, most of us actually herechose sometimes, but I try to
(10:04):
keep it to myself.
The question was do you findyourself thinking I could have
done that better?
When others succeed?
And 80% of us thought sometimes, but I try to keep it to myself
.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Now you know what's interesting for me on that.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
I never think that, because I just don't compete
with people in that way, I'malways in competition with
myself.
It's hard for me to competewith other people because I may
already feel like there'snothing to compete about.
I need to challenge myselfbecause I'm going to set a bar
that I probably can't get over,and so that's my rationale
(10:45):
anyway.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
I remember when we had that conversation years ago
and you said I'm my owncompetition.
Right right, I'm contra, moncher, like I love competition,
and sometimes to the point wherethere is no competition, but
I'll create one Because I lovegames, I love gamification.
(11:07):
For me it's a motivating factor.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
So I will sometimes think I could have done that
better.
But, then guess what I'm like?
Shut the heck up, jen.
I don't know if you've everdone this anyone listening where
there is like a legitconversation going on in your
head with yourself.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
Yeah, so that's how it is for me when that comes up.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Nice, nice.
So yeah, again, just you know,going over the fact that we had
this survey and had some peopleanswer some questions and we got
pretty good results, and do westill have that survey available
?
If someone we do, okay, we doyou want to share a little bit?
Speaker 1 (11:49):
yeah, so on my instagram, jen the builder
underscore elevate.
It is in my bio yeah, the linkso you can still participate in
that.
Corey and I are going to be onZoom after the new year, shortly
after, to talk about theassessment a little bit and be
(12:11):
able to talk to you instead ofjust having this one-way
conversation on this podcast.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Right.
So let's jump right into it.
How do we dial back from thetoxicity?
How do we tone down, how do wenot be so overly confident or
even toxic?
I mean, any form of toxicity isgoing to be a bad thing.
So let's talk about how we candial it back and remove the
(12:41):
poisons that can make us, youknow, not that desirable to hang
around with.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah.
So where do you want to start,corey?
Because there's self and whatwe bring into a toxic
environment, and then there'show to deal with others who
bring it.
So I think starting with selffirst is always a good place to
be.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Absolutely, and in starting with self, I'm going to
introduce the method of walkingaway.
Sometimes we as people have toknow it's time for me to walk
away from this environment, fromthis conversation, from this
group of people.
And that's just because you'veentered into a toxic type
(13:26):
environment.
And so what ends up happeningis you just kind of join in and
before you know it, you're justoozing with this as well.
Now there's that flip side andwe'll get to that in just a hot
second that you bring thetoxicity to the conversation or
that you're already present inthe room with the toxic behavior
.
But for the most of us, I wouldsay we just have to learn when
(13:49):
to walk away and when to say notgoing to engage in that.
I really need a more positivemindset.
So I'm going to do something alittle bit different this time
around and hopefully you canmake that a pattern and a habit
to do that, opposed to join in.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah, really good tip .
So that's a tip on how to dealwith others who are toxic.
So I'll stay in that.
And so when I hear what you'resaying, it's really around
setting boundaries right andjust learning to disengage from
unproductive or negativeinteractions, right, and it's
really easy for me maybe not foryou or anyone else but to get
(14:28):
sucked in because I'm very mucha socializer and so if any of
you know about communicationstyle, socializers boy, they're
just like in it, that's.
It's.
What gives me energy is to beable to socialize, yeah, and so
to walk away it's like, oh, Idon't get to socialize anymore,
(14:48):
so let me stay in that vein ofbeing a socializer.
I think what you can do in thatenvironment, too, is address it
directly, and good rule of thumbis using I statements on how to
express how their behavioraffects you.
So what I mean by that is,instead of saying to someone
(15:11):
you're always so negative or youalways talk about Corey and
it's just rude, right?
Yeah, using an I statementwould be something like I am
uncomfortable when you talkabout my husband, right, so it's
(15:32):
I, and then the feelings andhow it's impacting me, right?
So typically, when people onthe receiving end, they don't
feel so so attacked.
So there's a good tip.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I like that Because when you said that, it sounded
to me like you can put that injust about any situation
combination that you want to.
I don't feel comfortable havingthis kind of conversation at
work.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
I don't feel comfortable with you sharing
your opinions and feelings aboutthe boss or the supervisor or
the manager in those contexts,or however you want to word that
.
That's just a really goodescape, and not only is it a
good escape, it's probably ahealthy escape and you can save
(16:21):
your job, you can save yourselfand probably that person that's
having that conversation.
And those are green flags,because we always talk about red
flags, but those are greenflags.
If someone should say that tous, they're actually giving you
a way out, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Yeah.
So, greg, let me ask you Sure,if the person who's being toxic
is kind of attacking you in yourpresent, how do you deal with
that situation?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I'm I'm uh, and I'm sorry, I got excited when you
said that I'm just a straight tothe point kind of person.
Yeah, I don't like to swimaround it and pretend like you
know, I need to soften it orjelly or sugarcoat it.
That's the the proper term thatI was looking for.
Um, I'll just say in my mind,not not going there today, not
(17:14):
having this today, and I'll justshut it down and I'll simply
say you know what?
I got some stuff I got to takecare of.
I'm not able to have thisconversation now.
Got to go somewhere, got to dosomething.
Oh, that's my phone.
Let me get back to whatever Iwas doing before, because I
typically don't operate in thatnegative space.
(17:36):
And so when it's brought to meand I'm saying this with
confidence because I know I justdon't have time and I don't
like to operate in negativity,so if it's brought to me, I'm
forcing myself to get back intothe space that I'm supposed to
be in.
You can't create when you're ina negative space or a toxic
(17:59):
space.
It's important for creators,elevators and I'm talking to
everyone listening because Iknow you're definitely an
elevator, so it's it's almostimpossible for you to to create,
elevate in that negativity.
So get out of there as quickly,just get out out.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Do whatever you got to do, get out and then I think
too I'm going to kind of counterthat, sure, because I think
number one that's wise is justremove yourself from that,
especially in a work situationwhere it can escalate.
This is where conflictavoidance is actually a very
(18:38):
smart thing.
Now I've had people who havedone this to me chronically and
if I always exit, the behaviorcontinues right.
So I tried this one time and itactually worked.
And I have to tell you, insideI was not confident but I was
(18:58):
like I just got to try somethingdifferent.
Okay, because I need differentresults.
Oh, I'm interested what you got.
So I respectfully said what didyou say?
I'm sorry I might havemisunderstood that and they
boldly repeat and I just look atthem and it's that silence that
(19:23):
kind of echoes what they'vejust said and it plays in the
silence and for me it actuallyworked in that moment because
this person heard themselves inwhat they said.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Right.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
And I just looked at them.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
I so wish that that would work the majority of times
.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
But let me just tell you, there are some individuals
that are really, really bold intheir toxic behavior and, as you
said, they restate the wordsthey just spewed out and have no
regret in saying it, and thenthat's when you're really forced
to deal with it.
I would just like to offer this, as you know, not a solution,
(20:16):
but please brace yourself,because some people are just
that bold.
They just don't care.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, yeah.
So I think the conflictmanagement style you choose is
super important, based on thesituation.
Yeah, yeah, anyhow.
Can I add one other thing?
Sure, yeah, anyhow.
Can I add one other thing?
So, is getting out of the toxicenvironment, is not feeding the
ego and I'm talking about theego of the other person, right?
(20:42):
So not paying attention to it,not recognizing it, not laughing
along with them you know, right, and that's really difficult
for a people pleasing type ofperson.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
I know, and I know you're going to jump all over
this, but when you're a peoplepleasing type of person, you
don't want to leave anyone outof the loop.
You don't want anyone to feellike they're having a
conversation by themselves.
I'm excellent at that.
I can just you really are I canjust sit and not say a single
(21:16):
word.
I'm not going to laugh, and it'snot to be rude.
So let's, please, let's not getthat mixed up, right?
It's just.
I know, if I give oxygen to afire, that's already out of
control, exactly, it's justgoing to get further out of
control and possibly consume me.
So I won't give it oxygen and Irefuse to feed into it, and
(21:41):
that's why I have to saysomething.
And again, there are those thatare just that bold.
They just don't care.
And I've had, I have, I havehad to go the step further and
say, hey, what you're doingright now is not helping.
It's actually moving the needlein the opposite direction.
I can't do this.
I need to be able to functionin a more positive manner.
(22:05):
And I've had people still goforward with it, like they'll
acknowledge that you just saidwhat you said, but then within
seconds, they're right back intoit.
Yeah, and that's when I exit.
That's when I got to walk, Igot to go.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yeah, again, very wise to just go.
So for the people pleaser,that's another episode, and I
don't think that we've reallydelved into it.
Because the question is what'smaking you want to please people
?
What are you lacking or what isat the root cause of that?
Right?
And I think when you get tothat point is when you can
(22:39):
determine if, like, let me givean example real quick.
So if I'm a people pleaserbecause usually people please
people because they want to beliked or accepted, right, let's
say, for me it's, uh, because mypurpose is people, I want to
place everyone on positivelevels every day.
So you know I'm, I want to benice, I want to be kind to them
(23:04):
and acknowledge and make themfeel like they belong.
Well, then I get to look at myvalues of being kind, of
elevating, and what that reallymeans.
And when I really get down toit, being kind is being honest,
being kind is being authentic,being kind is wanting to see
(23:25):
them grow instead of keepingthem in a space that is highly
offensive and no one wants tosay so.
You know what I mean, oh, yeah,so I think value work is super
important when you do that.
And so if anyone's listening tothis and says I'm a people
pleaser and I can't figure thisout.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Like with anything, I recommend, uh, getting a coach
talking to someone about it,because it really helps yeah,
you know, got to talk your waythrough that because there's
layers to the people pleasingpersonality type and Jen and I
talked about this years andyears and years ago and we
bought this book called theDisease to Please and it just
(24:07):
opens up so many doors and turnson so many lights to why the
behavior exists and what you'retrying to accomplish, but you
never seem to be able toaccomplish that.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
And it really is a sickness right.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Yeah, anyhow.
So, oh, and then, by the way,for those who don't know, I am a
coach and I very much believein the power of journaling,
because it's the same thing astalking out, it's writing things
down, self reflecting andgetting in that space.
Just putting a plug for myselfout there, Plug away, All right.
(24:45):
So let's talk about speaking ofthat self reflection for
recovery.
So recovery from thisenvironment that you might have
contributed to or maybe not.
So here's a great question Am Icontributing to this
environment?
So if you're in a team or ifyou have familial relationships
(25:06):
and you find it toxic, askyourself am I contributing to
this environment If you'resaying something to fuel it, yes
.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
If you're not saying anything at all, yes.
And if you're laughing becausethere are funny parts of it, but
frowning on other parts, yes.
We have to learn as elevatorsto stand in opposition to
toxicity.
It grows out of control soflipping quick.
It's amazing.
(25:39):
You think and and this is whatI've learned over the years you
know, um, you're thinking thatthis couldn't be harmful, this
won't hurt anyone, this won't goanywhere past this room, but
you have no clue what the toxicperson is prepared to do.
And yes, I just rhymed there,but wasn't trying to Toxic.
(25:59):
People love to elevate it to thenext level.
It's never good enough to havethe room laughing.
They need everyone laughing,they need everyone involved.
And so they'll walk out of aroom after they've spewed
toxicity all over the place andthen go tell someone else.
And then tell someone else and,before you know it, everybody
(26:21):
knows, yeah.
And then the questions begin tohappen who was there?
And your name is going to be onthat list and you didn't say
anything, so you're contributing.
Yeah, good point.
Yeah, you're contributing.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yeah, good point.
Yeah, we don't really payattention to the things that
contribute to that.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Right right.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Right.
So yeah, that's a little bit ofan example of how journaling
helps.
Is that self-reflection, corey?
There's this thing that I'veread where it says humility
isn't a weakness, it's astrength.
You care to elaborate on thator tell us what you think about
(27:03):
that quote.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Um, I'm not sure how everyone's humility shows up,
and that's where I'm torn onthat question.
Some people's humility shows upa whole lot different than
others, and when that happensI'm questioning is that really
true humility, or is thatembarrassment, is that lack of
(27:26):
confidence?
What is that?
Because, again, it shows up inso many different forms.
So I can't say I fullysubscribe to that ideology.
Okay, so it's basically findingout from the individual what
humility means to them and howit looks Right, because some
people think that humility meansthat you're always eating crow,
(27:48):
you're always apologizing,you're always on the bad end of
the stick, and that's their formof humility.
And I'm like what are you doing?
That is not the way you play.
Humble like eating humble pieall day and all night, you know
Right.
So it's one of those things forme that it just depends on how
(28:11):
it shows up for each individual.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
That's really good, because the question that I
would reflect on, based on that,is what does humility mean to
me?
How does it show up and howdoes it line up with who I am?
Right?
So yeah, really good stuffthere.
Then, of course, with humility,keeping from getting cocky as
(28:38):
you're confident in who you are,because that's what we promote
here too.
That's part of elevating peopleis know who you are, know who's
you are, and what you bring andthe gifts that are yours are
solely yours, right?
That's a big deal.
So how do you keep yourselfgrounded?
Speaker 2 (29:04):
big deal.
So how do you keep yourselfgrounded?
The way I keep myself groundedis the more I think I know is,
the more I know I really don'tknow.
So I'm always in student modewhen I think I know a lot of
stuff, nice, and so it keeps megrounded and it keeps me from
going to that edge of the cliffwhere I'm like I got this, I
(29:26):
know all about this.
I mean playing bass.
People have told me someoutlandish things and I'm not
raining on their parade forthinking that I'm a good bassist
.
What I'm simply saying is thatI know how much I don't know
about playing bass.
So when someone says, oh my God, you're the most incredible
bassist I've ever heard, that'sjust in one ear and out the
(29:50):
other, because I know for a factthat I could study bass from
now until 20 years from now andstill know.
There's so much more for me toknow and learn, and with any
other subject I feel the exactsame way.
So I'm able to stay humble inthat way, because I'm not taking
any credit that I shouldn't betaking credit for If they just
(30:13):
tell me I'm a good bassist.
Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
I'm glad you think so , but I know where I'm trying to
get to, and that finish line isa long ways away again the
competition with yourself, yeah,so I want to talk about that
real quick competition and how,what a strategy I've used to
stay away from being competitivewith other people, especially
(30:38):
if anyone's here and you're aleader of a team.
You don't want to.
You don't want to be that.
Um, the quickest way to getover that is to get into
collaborative space, the wespace yeah right.
Bring people in, delegate, usethem for their strengths and not
rely solely on your own.
(30:59):
Easily, easily get over thecompetition thing.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Yeah that, that saying pride cometh before the
fall, it's a real thing.
It is so real.
And if you're a leader orsomeone that's in charge of a
group of people and you'reacting in pride or or cockiness,
uh it's, it's a long, hard,rough, harsh fall when you're in
(31:24):
that position becauseeveryone's watching and they
always tell you there's someonealways watching you, just when
you think no one's watching, noone's seeing that Everyone is
seeing it and then it's justgoing to get around.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Yeah, and I think last episode too, corey, we
touched on celebrating otherpeople's wins, right, and
letting that be the thing wementioned, staying curious, yeah
.
And we shared a story about.
Because we lacked curiosity andwe were so quick to prove our
point we knew what stand wewanted to make.
(31:59):
Were so quick to prove ourpoint, we knew what stand we
wanted to make, we missed outand actually could have caused
some harm there in in the way wepresented and guys.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
I just wanted to share this with you.
You know, I talked to a lot ofdifferent people every after
every episode and it's soenjoyable to hear the wins and
the things that they'reaccomplishing.
I don't want to always.
I talk about what we're doinghere, because this is where we
(32:28):
are able to announce what'sgoing on, and on our platform,
which is the podcast.
But if I, if I see anybody I'mnot, you know, vomiting all the
things I'm doing and places I'mgoing, and anyone that knows me
can attest to this they have toask me or bring it up.
Hey, I heard you say you had todo this or you're going to go
here, but I just really want tohear your guys' wins.
(32:51):
I want to see what you guys areup to.
So that's why I'm alwaysinquisitive about your next move
or what your, your families,are doing kids in sports, kids
in scholastic type of uh ordeals, you know absolutely that.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
that's awesome to celebrate other people's wins.
Another thing and I'm going toend with this that I really seen
you you role model this so wellis you seek feedback all the
time on things that you'reworking on or a thought, that
you have an idea, and you alsooffer your feedback, and I think
(33:27):
that's important in this spacethat we're in as far as creating
, putting yourself out thereright and elevating people and
the work that they do Feedbackso important.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah, I do do that, and it's a scary situation, jen,
because people are brutallyhonest with me and if it's not
something they like or they'renot cool with, they tell me, and
so I'm really trying to learnin real time how to better
whatever it is.
I'm getting advice on Love,that Well.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
I'm getting advice on Love.
That Well, I think we coveredeverything.
I do want to say that we areabout to Everyone.
Listen up, we are almost goingto give Oswald the plushie away,
oswald the wise old owl is upfor grabs, and right now it's a
three-way tie.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
So I'm going to.
It's so funny because it's athree-way tie.
Yeah, so I'm gonna.
It's so funny because it's athree-way tie.
We're gonna have three moreways where you can be the winner
of this amazing plushie.
He's big, like I think.
For retail he would go aboutfifty dollars.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
Yeah, so absolutely free.
He's part of the Fuzzy FurryForest.
If you haven't got the book yet, it's available on Amazon.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Yeah, and I really want to even make it more
challenging.
I'd love to see some morepeople heavily engaged to get
this Oswald, only because youknow it's going for a good cause
, it's for kids, it's for uhreading and and understanding
and building those uh bridges,yeah, friendships definitely so.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
I love to say this there is an oswald song and we
had actually someone played thesong at a daycare that their kid
went to and we saw the kidsdance to it.
If you can I don't know send usa reel or let us know how your
(35:30):
kids or people you know react tothe song.
That'd be cool.
We'll put you in for the raffle.
Yeah, and then more to come onthat.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Speaking of songs, jen, yeah, we got another song
that we're going to play todayand we're going a little bit
longer than normal, but this isour last show of the year, so
we're just enjoying it, having agood time.
But this is a song about uh,sheriff slinky snake and this is
the book coming out 1125.
(35:59):
And we're just so excited aboutit.
And this song was put togetherby our daughter and our
son-in-law, michaela and John,and guys, you can't be mad about
your family putting together asong for a book that you and
your wife wrote together, or meand my wife wrote together.
(36:20):
So we're going to be playingthat right now and hope you guys
enjoy that.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yeah, and I think this song is just the vibes for
the book.
I love how they brought SheriffSlinky Snake alive in music.
Yeah, again, you know this bookis close to my heart.
It's my first one ever, youguys, so I'm going to be talking
about it, I'm going to beputting reels up, I'm going to
like pre-sell just to startgetting out there.
(36:49):
But yeah, here is SheriffSlinky Snake.
I hope you enjoy.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
Hey, yeah, badge, in search of a new name.
He speaks, it just stutters,but his eyes are sharp.
With every case he cracks.
He plays a jazzy harp, makingup the mysteries when the night
is still solving ghostly crimes.
With his slithering skills,slinky snakes the name in a
(37:38):
forest full of cheer.
With each sway, jazz knows histrue intentions, clear, jaded
past behind him, in themoonlight's gentle glow, solving
make-believe cases.
In the shadows they flow, furryfriends they gather.
(37:59):
When Slinky's on the prowl, hecrawls beneath their feet with
an open growl.
Shadows and silhouettes, hetwists around each clue,
imaginary dangers only he couldconstrue.
The night is velvet.
He scales a shimmered gleam infuzzy, furry forest.
Life's not, as it may seem, bye.
(38:20):
But a sheriff's slinky-snakeymakes the daylight right when
raveling the fabric of aself-made night.
Oh, the wind, it whispers likea saxophone's call.
(39:00):
It's past the bluesy balladechoing in the hall.
But his sheriff's squeaky snake, he makes the daylight ride,
unraveling the fabric of aself-made night.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Hope you loved it.
I love that song.
You gotta have your headphonesto me or your surround sound.
Turn that bass up and enjoy.
Well, everyone, I hope you hadan amazing 2024.
And I know that it's been roughfor a lot of people, but you
made it.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
You're here.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
2025 is right around the corner and let's just be all
about it and be there for oneanother.
There you go.
You know what's to take theelevator?
We say look up and let'selevate, elevate.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
Every day, elevate Every day.
Happy New Year.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
Happy New Year.
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