May 18, 2025 • 35 mins
The art of saying "Access Denied" might be one of the most powerful skills you'll ever develop. This deeply personal exploration delves into why protecting your emotional space, physical boundaries, and digital presence is essential for wellbeing—and why everyone doesn't deserve the same level of access to you.
What happens when we ignore our gut instincts about people? The painful aftermath often includes wasted time, emotional wounds, damaged self-esteem, and persistent self-doubt. As we unpack these consequences, we share candid stories about times we've both allowed access when we shouldn't have, and the hard lessons learned from those experiences.
The conversation takes a healing turn as we discuss how to recover from boundary violations. Rather than building fortress-like walls that keep everyone out, we explore how setting healthy boundaries actually creates bridges for authentic connection. For those who struggle with extremes—either having no boundaries or isolating completely—we offer practical strategies for finding balance.
Learn specific language to use when communicating boundaries, like "I care but I can't take this on right now" or "I need space to process this." These simple phrases honor both the relationship and your personal needs. We also explore the critical distinction between creating distance out of fear versus acting from discernment—a nuance that transforms how you approach relationships.
Whether you're healing from past boundary violations or proactively strengthening your personal boundaries, this episode provides both the validation and practical tools needed to protect what matters most—your peace, energy, and personal wellbeing. Remember: access to you is a privilege, not a right.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
hey, it's jen the builder and cory, and hello
everybody.
Yes, hello man, we are sorry.
Not, sorry, sorry, not sorry,right.
That we skipped an episode andit was all to honor my Mother's
Day weekend and it was amazing.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
And your Mother's Day weekend as well.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Absolutely so hope you all had a great Mother's Day
weekend.
We've been seeing so manythings on social media on how it
was spent, so very, very cool.
I found my way to the beach.
That was amazing.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Corona Del Mar, you know what Jen.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
That trip was a little bit more giving to me
than I thought it would be.
I really enjoyed being at thebeach that particular day.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Good stuff yeah, so between cory and I, I'm the
beach person, yes, cory, not somuch like if someone said, jen,
let's go to the beach.
I'd be all about it.
The beach with corey.
You've got to kind of prep themyes but it, but it was a good
time.
The weather was perfect Because, get this, where we live, over
(01:30):
Mother's Day weekend it was 95degrees Literally.
We drove an hour away for thebeach about, yeah, 20 degree
difference.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
And I think that's exactly what it was.
I think so Just that little bitof cool that came in and
changed the world.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yeah, so I'm excited about today's episode and we
probably did something around it.
But this one's a littledifferent.
I think you'll see that as timehas gone by, we've evolved in
the setting boundaries area, andactually today's episode is
called access denied accessdenied, and I'll also say that
(02:10):
we've uh upped the ante on ourdelivery I believe.
So you know it was funny.
Uh, before we recorded this, Iwas on the phone with my
daughter.
I said kill him, gotta go.
We're recording, she's on.
No, you really don't have torecord.
You have over 350 episodes.
(02:32):
I think you're gonna be okay tonot record.
So true story, cory, I don't Ihave to look further, but I
googled and I said what's thelongest running episode?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
oh, man, man, I know it's long, Not episode.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Longest running podcast.
And we are again.
I don't know, but I saw somenumbers.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Is it that one guy, the Adam guy?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Adam guy, never mind, I don't know those things.
Okay, so either way, I saw anumber 600, but then it went to
like 350.
I'm like, oh my goodness, canyou imagine if we break the
record for oh no we're nowherenear.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Well, let's look at it okay, and then in our next
episode we'll give an accurateupdate sounds like a plan, yeah
and, by the way, the goal is notto be the the podcast for the
most episodes, it just kind oflike wow we're.
We're at over 350.
So, anyways, here we are.
I just thought it was funnythat kills like it's gonna be
(03:36):
fine, like what is the deal.
But you know, we have so muchfun doing this and this is um
one way that we keep inconnection with people, and so
you just kind of feel like, man,we're missing out when we, when
we, don't do an episode.
So, cory, let's touch on someannouncements.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Right, quick, let's sure, uh, we got another book
coming out real soon here calledkelly kenga.
We got got the letter back fromthe library of Congress today
and I'm excited when those onescome in, don't you?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
It's just so official .
Yeah, man, yeah, and it says,yes, kelly Kanga belongs to
Corey and Jen body.
There you go, thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Thank you, thank you.
That's pretty much all I gotright now.
Are we going to have some newguests on coming up next month
Another writer, slash author,and then another exciting guest
that we're waiting on to get theokay for, and then you know,
we're just going to be doing ourthing, having a good time For
(04:42):
sure.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
All right, corey, start us off.
This is a topic that you wantedto bring forward, so I think
it's only apropos for you to getus off the start line.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
It is indeed apropos for me to start this, and it is
called access denied.
Sometimes in life you have todeny access to some people, and
so everyone doesn't have thesame level of accessibility.
If this registers with you,please raise your hand, and both
(05:16):
of mine are raised right now.
Jen question have you ever hadto deny access to any person
that was in your life, and why?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
so the answer is yes um more than one person.
Okay, so when I define access,I'm talking about my emotional
being, my physical, um evensometimes digital my energy.
Right, that's what I'm talkingabout.
Access, so, um, I've denied itwhen I've seen just multiple
(05:58):
disrespectful moments right, itcould be disrespect for my time,
disrespect for my values orjust who I am.
Yeah, um, I have definitelydenied access when I feel
someone is manipulative.
Okay, for me, that's like redflag.
(06:18):
I withdraw instantly whenmanipulation's involved.
Um, I don't like being in aconstant state of confusion.
So if someone's behaviorconfuses me and it's just all
over the place and despite theconversations right, and I know
(06:39):
we're going to go more into that, so it sounds like I'm being
very generalized, but there's alot of details to that.
No, no, as a matter of.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
So it sounds like I'm being very generalized, but
there's a lot of details to thatno, no, as a matter of fact, it
sounds very in depth becausewhen you talk about, you know
your digital world and yourpersonal space and your other
areas of denial of access.
It gives a really clear pictureon what you're intending on
(07:05):
blocking off from someone.
Yeah, and I appreciate that,but before we move any further
into the denial, have you evergiven access to someone that you
knew you should have given adenial, a deniability?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
So just kind of ignored your gut, yes, and just
went within anyways and see canwe please talk about, because I
know we have not talked aboutthis.
So first let me just say that Ithink access to anyone, when
they give it to you, is aprivilege and not a right.
I had to get that straight.
Like it is not your right tohave full access to me.
(07:45):
Now, when I've given access,despite the fact that I thought
no, this is not going to be good, it's because I thought I was
overreacting and kind of beingmean to distancing.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I mean, I always go to the place where I know that I
have done things that havewronged people and that was not
the intent, or maybe it was atthe time, but I'm not the same
person, so I believe that peoplegrow and change, you know that
kind of way.
So I always feel like let meextend that kindness or that
(08:27):
grace and just maybe I'm justhaving an emotional time or
maybe I'm overreacting that'sthe word.
I'm overreacting, yes.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Yeah, so to one.
First let's go here.
And then I got a quickfollow-up on that.
What are some of the negativeconnotations?
What are some of the negativeactions?
What are some of the negativeresults that have happened when
you ignored your gut, knowingthat you should have denied
(08:58):
access, but you did it anyway,hurt Regret.
Now, while you're thinking alittle bit more about that, this
is where I want to tune intothe listener, because what I'm
going to do, I want to provokethat thought deep inside you to
begin to heal those wounds thatsomeone has caused that you gave
(09:21):
access to, and and then we'rejust going to get rid of all
that negative energy, becausethat actually shouldn't even
have access in your life.
Please continue.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Wait, I want to.
That was powerful.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Well, I'm trying to do something that's going to be
moving.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Okay, so I'll just hold that then Sure.
And where am I supposed to beright now?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
You're talking about some negative things that's
happened based on giving access.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yes, so it's wasted my time.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
It's it's hurt you, you said.
And now it's wasted your time,it's made me question my
decision making right right, mylevel of confidence, self-esteem
, yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
So all of those things.
And you feel guilty becauseyou're like why I knew better?
Why did I do that?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Now you're beating yourself up.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
And it's almost full circle because you knew in your
gut from I will say from jumpthat you should not give access
to this person, this thing thismoment, and you did anyway.
You're hurt, you're in denial,you're angry and now you're
(10:42):
doubled back on.
I never should have did this.
What's wrong with me?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
now you're beating yourself up yeah, and if I can
just say there, it doesn't haveto be so extreme in every
situation.
So, what I mean by that is,we've talked about boundaries
and it's not full access or it'sonly you know just, it's a
defined type of relationship,because I think boundaries are
(11:10):
actually bridges for healthyrelationships, right?
Would you agree with that?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Absolutely relationships, right?
Would you agree with that?
Absolutely?
But what I have noticed says isthat in older age, once the
breach has been made, it's, uh,a little bit more personal,
because now these are sacredplaces, these are places you've
worked hard to create your owninner peace, right, and so
that's why I the extreme, forand I'm not putting that on you,
(11:40):
right but I'm just making thatreal clear that you know, when
those sacred spaces are violated, what's really happening and
taking place.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Well, I agree and I think that is just grounded and
wise and you and I verydifferent people.
I'm learning so much from youand I know you share that you
learn so much from me.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I do.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
But because I am an extremist, I've had to learn to
set boundaries and understandwhy access would be completely
denied.
Because, um, trauma rightpost-trauma, you learn to the
extreme is your boundariesbecome walls that actually
(12:31):
isolate you, and when youisolate yourself, you miss out
on the good.
Yeah, and I didn't want to dothat anymore.
I didn't want to believe thateveryone was out to harm and
didn't have good intention.
Like I had to let that go,forgive the people that harmed
(12:55):
me and move on, and i'm'm soglad I did.
Now the thing is is again beingextreme.
Then you just want to inviteeveryone in, like, oh, this is
great, and then you lose sightof hey, you're worth protecting
and you have to be aware ofpeople around you.
(13:17):
Read the room right and then beable to manage yourself,
including setting thoseboundaries denying access to
certain things, and that way youcan manage your relationship.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Right, and so this next question is actually going
to sound like it's wrapping up,but we're just getting started,
we're just really getting intothe meat of it, and so what I
asked was that the listener takea moment to really go deep
within themselves.
And this is your opportunitybecause I know you wanted to
jump on it, but I stopped it toacknowledge that these feelings
(13:57):
need healing.
Oh, that's deep and I like that, but these feelings need
healing because we're scarred,we're traumatized.
We have issues now with otherpeople, some that don't even
want to violate us but becausewe've been traumatized, we have
(14:18):
this 20-foot gate set up so evengood people can't get close to
us, so we're actually denyingaccess to people that probably
should have access to us.
The healing part and the repairthat has to take place after
(14:39):
the breaches is been somethingthat's going on on a regular
basis, because typically, onebreach is not going to tear the
fortress down.
It's multiple breaches thatbegin to wear us out and make us
feel like what am I reallydoing here?
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
feel like what am I really doing here?
What's going on?
Man healing, that's that.
That's a big topic and I think,in my opinion, healing is a
different process for everybody.
I think healing for sure takesthe moments of reflection and
really tapping into what'srequiring this healing.
What's taken place, what'd yougo through, what was the impact?
(15:28):
Why is it important that Iexperience and invite healing
into this space?
What am I hoping will bedifferent?
Did you say invite?
Speaker 2 (15:40):
absolutely.
I like that.
Yeah, I'm gonna pause you justfor a second.
I really like that becauseyou're not only bringing it in,
you're inviting, which is aaction that you're um yeah, you
know, I think you've got to seekit out.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yeah, because, especially you said, when it's
multiple times, that usuallyisn't the go-to.
What you usually do is youisolate or you numb yourself or
you go through the emotions andyou stay there.
You're stuck.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
How important is this , this process?
It's critical.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
It's critical to your well-being and your ability to
experience all the goodness inlife that was meant for you,
right?
Speaker 2 (16:31):
yeah, for sure any simple questions we can ask
ourselves to help reshape thiswhat would seem to be a simple
task, but I mean on the grandscale of things.
It's pretty ginormous when youthink about someone has breached
(16:52):
your boundaries, got access toyou, wounded, hurt or maimed you
, and then you have to gothrough a healing process.
Any words of.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
I'm just going to share what resonates for me and
hopefully, being that we're allhuman, that this can resonate
with you and you might have yourown language for this.
I think, at the end of the day,for me it was about just
emotional self-respect.
I had allowed so muchdisrespect that I couldn't even
(17:32):
respect me and, um, I would just, I wanted to find me.
You know like I just thoughtthat was so important.
I just wanted another chance atthis whole thing.
So I love what you had saidearlier, like you can deny
access to the thing that holdsyou captive, and I didn't.
(17:54):
I chose.
I said I am no longer a victimof this.
I am not going to let this bethe thing that defines me, right
, right.
So I love how you said that,because I really believe without
having to use that language,believe without having to use
(18:15):
that language, and now I havelanguage for it is that I denied
access for all things that harmme not just people, but
including me because we can bethat person that actually harms
ourselves, which is quiteintense, isn't?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
it.
Yes, it's very intense.
But, as you were saying that, Iheard something else.
We could be that person harmingourselves, but we could also be
that person that's violatingsomeone else, that just so
happens to be breachingsomeone's personal and we've
been denied access.
(18:51):
We've been told no, but we'renot taking no for an answer.
Would anyone like an example?
Your spouse, your mate, says youknow what, I'm really not
wanting to have thatconversation right now.
Oh no, we're having thatconversation right now.
You've just violated, you'vejust breached an area that could
(19:11):
possibly be.
See, I had to learn this thehard way as a husband, as a
friend and in any relationship,be it work, be it home, be it
friend, that's in a band.
I'm in a band.
If someone says to you thatthey're not able to have a
conversation right now, that'stypically not a brush off,
(19:34):
that's typically not somethingthat someone's just telling you
just so you can't get to saywhat you want to say.
So it's important that weacknowledge that and then
respect that and allow thatboundary to be set.
And so, jen, I don't know ifyou have anything else you want
to say about this, and I'm I'mall open for it.
(19:55):
But I got one final question toreally just kind of crack this
thing wide open.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Hold on, let me fix there I am.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I didn't.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
I didn't mean to deny access to sound, but I'm back.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
What is it so?
The final question is, jim howdo we prepare, how do we get in
the right mindset so that wedon't have all these traumas, so
we don't have to put up suchbig barriers for denial of
(20:34):
access?
Is there a way to prep yourmind, prep your heart, prep your
emotions, so that you canalready have something in play
for this?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
I think first step is to say and to know and move on
the fact that you're worth theprocess of healing.
And I will always be the firstto say this, especially when it
comes to trauma seek help.
To trauma, like seek help.
(21:15):
It's so beautiful when you havea person in your life, like a
therapist, who's able to giveyou professional help and who's
not involved in your life andcan see things from the outside,
looking in um, and this is itfor me.
That's just um, an amazingspace to be in when someone is
listening and you know whattheir purpose is and their
(21:38):
purpose is to help you helpyourself.
So I think that would be thefirst thing is just find that
little bit that says I'm worththis, I'm worth the effort.
Can I give a tip too?
Because this has really helped.
Again, if you're an extremist,this is for you.
(21:59):
So I've learned to deny accessor set these boundaries, even in
the smallest ways.
Right, because no means no andit's okay to say no, because
saying no isn't a punishment forthe other person.
No, it's actually protectionand preservation, for just for
(22:22):
time and energy and things likethat.
Right?
and for everyone involved,because that no may protect them
, it may protect you, it mayprotect whoever's in in the room
right, exactly so you might besaying no to responding to late
night text or saying no tomaking a commitment that's going
(22:43):
to drain you, right, or I've.
I've seen a lot of people dothis, unfollowing toxic people
on social media, right.
So the more actions you take toset healthy boundaries, to deny
access because it's aboutpreservation, protecting
(23:04):
yourself and the people aroundyou, I think it becomes habit.
It becomes easier because,again, I am such an advocate for
it's in the small interactions,the small actions that
accumulate into big results,long-term impact.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Right, I just want to give one hint, or not hint tip,
but tell a little story.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
So, but tell a little story, so I've never been a big
touchy filly type of personwith people that I don't know
and people that I don't normallyhang out with, and so it has
nothing to do with who you areas a person.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
And I'll give you even a more personal situation.
I was in the hospital and I hadbeen there for about two days
and they send a therapist in, aphysical therapist, and she said
I'm here to you, know, give yousome physical therapy.
I'm going to be massaging yourshoulders and your head and blah
, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And so at first I said, okay,you know, this is a part of the
(24:11):
staying in the hospital and megetting better and all this good
stuff.
However, as she began to touchme, I just was like, nah, I
can't do this, this is not goingto work.
So I told her I said you know,no disrespect to you.
I know this is your job.
I'm not taking this personally,like I don't think you're
trying to do anything.
You know that's outside of yourjob description, but I just
(24:34):
don't like to be touched.
Like you know, in spaces thatI'm not used to being touched.
And she responded in the mostamazing way.
She said that is fine,completely, totally respectable.
I have no problems with that.
As a matter of fact, I'm gladyou said that and didn't allow
me to continue because it wouldhave you know.
(24:56):
So that that's the kind ofperson I am.
Um, I had another situation andI gave you that so you can
understand just who I am where aco-worker got into a habit of
walking into a room when my backwas to the door and this
co-worker would tap me on theshoulder to give me a fist bump.
(25:18):
And the first time it happenedmy mind said not cool, but don't
make a big deal out of it.
The second time it happened Isaid I got to say something
because this is going to be aproblem and that's my first red
flag and my barrier that I donot allow to be breached.
(25:40):
After the second time I have toaddress it and I have to put a
stop to the um, the access.
So if you're out there andyou're listening and this is
something that you're goingthrough if you know this is
going to trigger you and itmight not be touch, it might be
someone cracking a joke that'sinappropriate or saying
(26:03):
something slick or sly to youthat you're just not okay with.
If those are red flags for you,get in the in the mode.
If those are red flags for you,get in the mode, get in the
habit of putting your walls andbarriers and blockers up before
it takes you to the point thatyou can't go back.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that supports the small
interactions, the small settingof boundaries, right, that does
wonders.
Um, I wanted to touch onsomething too, if you don't mind
and you're down for this partof the conversation.
I mentioned overreacting as afeeler.
That's a real thing, right, isthe overreacting piece you said
(26:47):
a feeler.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
To explain that a little bit for the people.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
They don't know what that means so typically, if I
were to translate my reaction,it's usually in feeling like I
feel that I feel like sad or Ifeel offended.
Some people who are thinkers gointo thought oh, very logical,
(27:13):
that's you right, yeah?
definitely cory's a thinker, I'ma feeler, so over reacting
signs, for me, this is where Iknow.
Again, set your boundaries withyourself too.
I always I don't assume intentwithout conversation, because I
(27:34):
have a very wild imagination andconnect things and I've said
this before time and time againconnect things that don't need
to be connected, are you?
Telling stories that aren'treally happening um in my mind
at the time yeah they arehappening, but I'm filling in
the gaps, gotcha, so I'm notdelusional.
(27:57):
Okay, it's just that we wentfrom here to there, and how did
that happen?
So I just kind of like, oh well, it must have been this, or you
know right, thank you soanother tip is don't create
distance out of fear, but if youhave to create distance, create
it out of discernment.
(28:17):
Discernment in all of this issuper powerful.
Um, as you're figuring this out,give me a little bit of
understanding of whatdiscernment is discernment is
just your ability to use wisdomand gained experience and
knowledge on how to handle asituation, right, right.
(28:39):
So, yeah, don't react in fear,but do it because you're
applying wisdom.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Make sense yeah, okay .
Speaker 1 (28:50):
And then I also think and I've learned this too, this
has to do a lot with conflictmanagement is I'm okay if we're
friends or we're family and I'mfeeling like, okay, this really
is going to be a cutoff, and soI'm going to express the need
(29:11):
for the cutoff.
First, I'm not going to leaveyou hanging, because I think,
corey, you and I can agreethat's happened to us, where
we're just like what justhappened and I think there's a
disservice that we do withpeople because, again, cory and
I could be the thing thattriggers you or activates you to
(29:32):
say, oh, boundaries up, right,I need to deny them access, but
when and when people are wantingto learn, it's I think it's
okay to tell them.
That way we can be aware and,um, be like Ooh, I didn't think
about it that way, I didn't knowit was going to land that way
(29:56):
with people.
Let me, let me check myself,let me reflect on this and
change some things.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
I really like that, janet.
I'm glad we had thisconversation and I hope the
listener has an opportunity togo down all these crevices and
rabbit holes to really discoverwhat things are needed to be
locked, what things are neededto have barriers, what things
are needed to be deniedaccessibility, and I hope it
(30:27):
helps someone today and if youfeel like it helped you and
giving you a differentperspective, please feel free to
reach out to us and tell usabout it.
We would love to hear about it.
Yes, please.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Now one more thing, Sure, that I feel that we've
learned, because you saidearlier, when we started the
episode, that you feel thatwe've changed, and I think you
said matured or uh delivery andmaturity yeah.
So again, access denied doesn'talways mean has to be permanent
disconnection, right so Right.
So people have asked hey, jen,hey Corey, when you said this,
like it helps us to hear maybesome language we can use, and so
(31:09):
that's been feedback and wedefinitely want to give that.
So I've, corey, let's just talkabout real quick some language
we've used with each other.
I've become very okay with um.
I need space to think right now, or I'm I'm processing this, or
what I've done differently withyou, cory, is if I'm asking you
(31:32):
something and you don't answerright away and I hope you can
see this I hope because I'vebeen very intentional about now
not like overreacting, like areyou not gonna say anything?
You don't mean, I just kind ofjust sit there and just wait to
see what the response is gonnabe that was me waiting right
then just just giving myself amoment to breathe.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Um, guys, I'm really big on taking a deep breath and
pausing for a moment and justtaking the question in,
especially if it's somethingthat's gonna change or alter a
state of being or a state of apart of life.
Uh, I'm just not gonna answerit right away, just to answer it
, and if you ever find me goingor really really too quick, you
(32:22):
know I'm not taking this in andso that's a dangerous that's
true cory to be talking to,because now I'm not.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
I'm not really being my authentic self yeah, yeah,
here's one inquiry you can sharea statement to our listeners
and I promise we'll end it, eventhough I've enjoyed this
conversation, oh so much I'mglad you have is like I I've
learned this with, with some ofmy girlfriends.
I care, but I can't take thison at this moment.
(32:53):
Or I care and you'll get a genthat's so much more present at
the beginning of the day versusat 11 o'clock like right now
tonight, right, so, um, that hasjust been great for me and it's
(33:13):
helped me show up better as afriend.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
A friend, a wife, um, a family member.
It will help you in so manydifferent ways.
And yes, jen, you have told methat you're going to get a
better Jen.
Tomorrow morning I am wiped outand, as much as that may sting,
because I just want to tell yousomething so bad, I respect it
(33:39):
and I appreciate it later,because I do get a better gen, I
do get a better response, andthen we're still completely open
for accessibility, whereas if Ipush the issue, you're going to
deny me access, and then I'mgoing to get mad and I'm going
to deny you access and then wegot this issue that we don't
(34:00):
even know what to do with itdeny you access, and then we got
this issue that we don't evenknow what to do with it.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Yes, yes, great.
I want to thank you forbringing this forward.
I think it's a good topic.
That should not be somethingyou gloss over once, right,
because it just needs moreconversation, more support to
(34:25):
let people know you're not inthis by yourself.
People go through thisAbsolutely, yeah.
So please DM us, let us know ifyou have any thoughts or any
feedback that you'd like toshare with us.
We're all for it, and if we aresomething that or some one that
you need to talk to or have aquestion about something we've
said or done, we're all for it.
We love that kind of stuffbecause we want to elevate with
(34:47):
you.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Yeah, and if you've liked the ads that have been
playing throughout the podcast,those are being curated and
picked especially for you, so Ihope that we're picking things
that you guys like to hear inthe in the breaks yes, well,
have a good day everyone.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
And you know us to take the elevator.
We say look up and let'selevate, elevate every day,
elevate every day.
hey, it's jen the builder and cory, and hello
everybody.
Yes, hello man, we are sorry.
Not, sorry, sorry, not sorry,right.
That we skipped an episode andit was all to honor my Mother's
Day weekend and it was amazing.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
And your Mother's Day weekend as well.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Absolutely so hope you all had a great Mother's Day
weekend.
We've been seeing so manythings on social media on how it
was spent, so very, very cool.
I found my way to the beach.
That was amazing.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Corona Del Mar, you know what Jen.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
That trip was a little bit more giving to me
than I thought it would be.
I really enjoyed being at thebeach that particular day.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Good stuff yeah, so between cory and I, I'm the
beach person, yes, cory, not somuch like if someone said, jen,
let's go to the beach.
I'd be all about it.
The beach with corey.
You've got to kind of prep themyes but it, but it was a good
time.
The weather was perfect Because, get this, where we live, over
(01:30):
Mother's Day weekend it was 95degrees Literally.
We drove an hour away for thebeach about, yeah, 20 degree
difference.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
And I think that's exactly what it was.
I think so Just that little bitof cool that came in and
changed the world.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yeah, so I'm excited about today's episode and we
probably did something around it.
But this one's a littledifferent.
I think you'll see that as timehas gone by, we've evolved in
the setting boundaries area, andactually today's episode is
called access denied accessdenied, and I'll also say that
(02:10):
we've uh upped the ante on ourdelivery I believe.
So you know it was funny.
Uh, before we recorded this, Iwas on the phone with my
daughter.
I said kill him, gotta go.
We're recording, she's on.
No, you really don't have torecord.
You have over 350 episodes.
(02:32):
I think you're gonna be okay tonot record.
So true story, cory, I don't Ihave to look further, but I
googled and I said what's thelongest running episode?
Speaker 2 (02:42):
oh, man, man, I know it's long, Not episode.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Longest running podcast.
And we are again.
I don't know, but I saw somenumbers.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Is it that one guy, the Adam guy?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Adam guy, never mind, I don't know those things.
Okay, so either way, I saw anumber 600, but then it went to
like 350.
I'm like, oh my goodness, canyou imagine if we break the
record for oh no we're nowherenear.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Well, let's look at it okay, and then in our next
episode we'll give an accurateupdate sounds like a plan, yeah
and, by the way, the goal is notto be the the podcast for the
most episodes, it just kind oflike wow we're.
We're at over 350.
So, anyways, here we are.
I just thought it was funnythat kills like it's gonna be
(03:36):
fine, like what is the deal.
But you know, we have so muchfun doing this and this is um
one way that we keep inconnection with people, and so
you just kind of feel like, man,we're missing out when we, when
we, don't do an episode.
So, cory, let's touch on someannouncements.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Right, quick, let's sure, uh, we got another book
coming out real soon here calledkelly kenga.
We got got the letter back fromthe library of Congress today
and I'm excited when those onescome in, don't you?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
It's just so official .
Yeah, man, yeah, and it says,yes, kelly Kanga belongs to
Corey and Jen body.
There you go, thank you.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Thank you, thank you.
That's pretty much all I gotright now.
Are we going to have some newguests on coming up next month
Another writer, slash author,and then another exciting guest
that we're waiting on to get theokay for, and then you know,
we're just going to be doing ourthing, having a good time For
(04:42):
sure.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
All right, corey, start us off.
This is a topic that you wantedto bring forward, so I think
it's only apropos for you to getus off the start line.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
It is indeed apropos for me to start this, and it is
called access denied.
Sometimes in life you have todeny access to some people, and
so everyone doesn't have thesame level of accessibility.
If this registers with you,please raise your hand, and both
(05:16):
of mine are raised right now.
Jen question have you ever hadto deny access to any person
that was in your life, and why?
Speaker 1 (05:29):
so the answer is yes um more than one person.
Okay, so when I define access,I'm talking about my emotional
being, my physical, um evensometimes digital my energy.
Right, that's what I'm talkingabout.
Access, so, um, I've denied itwhen I've seen just multiple
(05:58):
disrespectful moments right, itcould be disrespect for my time,
disrespect for my values orjust who I am.
Yeah, um, I have definitelydenied access when I feel
someone is manipulative.
Okay, for me, that's like redflag.
(06:18):
I withdraw instantly whenmanipulation's involved.
Um, I don't like being in aconstant state of confusion.
So if someone's behaviorconfuses me and it's just all
over the place and despite theconversations right, and I know
(06:39):
we're going to go more into that, so it sounds like I'm being
very generalized, but there's alot of details to that.
No, no, as a matter of.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
So it sounds like I'm being very generalized, but
there's a lot of details to thatno, no, as a matter of fact, it
sounds very in depth becausewhen you talk about, you know
your digital world and yourpersonal space and your other
areas of denial of access.
It gives a really clear pictureon what you're intending on
(07:05):
blocking off from someone.
Yeah, and I appreciate that,but before we move any further
into the denial, have you evergiven access to someone that you
knew you should have given adenial, a deniability?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
So just kind of ignored your gut, yes, and just
went within anyways and see canwe please talk about, because I
know we have not talked aboutthis.
So first let me just say that Ithink access to anyone, when
they give it to you, is aprivilege and not a right.
I had to get that straight.
Like it is not your right tohave full access to me.
(07:45):
Now, when I've given access,despite the fact that I thought
no, this is not going to be good, it's because I thought I was
overreacting and kind of beingmean to distancing.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I mean, I always go to the place where I know that I
have done things that havewronged people and that was not
the intent, or maybe it was atthe time, but I'm not the same
person, so I believe that peoplegrow and change, you know that
kind of way.
So I always feel like let meextend that kindness or that
(08:27):
grace and just maybe I'm justhaving an emotional time or
maybe I'm overreacting that'sthe word.
I'm overreacting, yes.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Yeah, so to one.
First let's go here.
And then I got a quickfollow-up on that.
What are some of the negativeconnotations?
What are some of the negativeactions?
What are some of the negativeresults that have happened when
you ignored your gut, knowingthat you should have denied
(08:58):
access, but you did it anyway,hurt Regret.
Now, while you're thinking alittle bit more about that, this
is where I want to tune intothe listener, because what I'm
going to do, I want to provokethat thought deep inside you to
begin to heal those wounds thatsomeone has caused that you gave
(09:21):
access to, and and then we'rejust going to get rid of all
that negative energy, becausethat actually shouldn't even
have access in your life.
Please continue.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Wait, I want to.
That was powerful.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Well, I'm trying to do something that's going to be
moving.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Okay, so I'll just hold that then Sure.
And where am I supposed to beright now?
Speaker 2 (09:46):
You're talking about some negative things that's
happened based on giving access.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yes, so it's wasted my time.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
It's it's hurt you, you said.
And now it's wasted your time,it's made me question my
decision making right right, mylevel of confidence, self-esteem
, yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
So all of those things.
And you feel guilty becauseyou're like why I knew better?
Why did I do that?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Now you're beating yourself up.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
And it's almost full circle because you knew in your
gut from I will say from jumpthat you should not give access
to this person, this thing thismoment, and you did anyway.
You're hurt, you're in denial,you're angry and now you're
(10:42):
doubled back on.
I never should have did this.
What's wrong with me?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
now you're beating yourself up yeah, and if I can
just say there, it doesn't haveto be so extreme in every
situation.
So, what I mean by that is,we've talked about boundaries
and it's not full access or it'sonly you know just, it's a
defined type of relationship,because I think boundaries are
(11:10):
actually bridges for healthyrelationships, right?
Would you agree with that?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Absolutely relationships, right?
Would you agree with that?
Absolutely?
But what I have noticed says isthat in older age, once the
breach has been made, it's, uh,a little bit more personal,
because now these are sacredplaces, these are places you've
worked hard to create your owninner peace, right, and so
that's why I the extreme, forand I'm not putting that on you,
(11:40):
right but I'm just making thatreal clear that you know, when
those sacred spaces are violated, what's really happening and
taking place.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Well, I agree and I think that is just grounded and
wise and you and I verydifferent people.
I'm learning so much from youand I know you share that you
learn so much from me.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
I do.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
But because I am an extremist, I've had to learn to
set boundaries and understandwhy access would be completely
denied.
Because, um, trauma rightpost-trauma, you learn to the
extreme is your boundariesbecome walls that actually
(12:31):
isolate you, and when youisolate yourself, you miss out
on the good.
Yeah, and I didn't want to dothat anymore.
I didn't want to believe thateveryone was out to harm and
didn't have good intention.
Like I had to let that go,forgive the people that harmed
(12:55):
me and move on, and i'm'm soglad I did.
Now the thing is is again beingextreme.
Then you just want to inviteeveryone in, like, oh, this is
great, and then you lose sightof hey, you're worth protecting
and you have to be aware ofpeople around you.
(13:17):
Read the room right and then beable to manage yourself,
including setting thoseboundaries denying access to
certain things, and that way youcan manage your relationship.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Right, and so this next question is actually going
to sound like it's wrapping up,but we're just getting started,
we're just really getting intothe meat of it, and so what I
asked was that the listener takea moment to really go deep
within themselves.
And this is your opportunitybecause I know you wanted to
jump on it, but I stopped it toacknowledge that these feelings
(13:57):
need healing.
Oh, that's deep and I like that, but these feelings need
healing because we're scarred,we're traumatized.
We have issues now with otherpeople, some that don't even
want to violate us but becausewe've been traumatized, we have
(14:18):
this 20-foot gate set up so evengood people can't get close to
us, so we're actually denyingaccess to people that probably
should have access to us.
The healing part and the repairthat has to take place after
(14:39):
the breaches is been somethingthat's going on on a regular
basis, because typically, onebreach is not going to tear the
fortress down.
It's multiple breaches thatbegin to wear us out and make us
feel like what am I reallydoing here?
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
feel like what am I really doing here?
What's going on?
Man healing, that's that.
That's a big topic and I think,in my opinion, healing is a
different process for everybody.
I think healing for sure takesthe moments of reflection and
really tapping into what'srequiring this healing.
What's taken place, what'd yougo through, what was the impact?
(15:28):
Why is it important that Iexperience and invite healing
into this space?
What am I hoping will bedifferent?
Did you say invite?
Speaker 2 (15:40):
absolutely.
I like that.
Yeah, I'm gonna pause you justfor a second.
I really like that becauseyou're not only bringing it in,
you're inviting, which is aaction that you're um yeah, you
know, I think you've got to seekit out.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yeah, because, especially you said, when it's
multiple times, that usuallyisn't the go-to.
What you usually do is youisolate or you numb yourself or
you go through the emotions andyou stay there.
You're stuck.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
How important is this , this process?
It's critical.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
It's critical to your well-being and your ability to
experience all the goodness inlife that was meant for you,
right?
Speaker 2 (16:31):
yeah, for sure any simple questions we can ask
ourselves to help reshape thiswhat would seem to be a simple
task, but I mean on the grandscale of things.
It's pretty ginormous when youthink about someone has breached
(16:52):
your boundaries, got access toyou, wounded, hurt or maimed you
, and then you have to gothrough a healing process.
Any words of.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
I'm just going to share what resonates for me and
hopefully, being that we're allhuman, that this can resonate
with you and you might have yourown language for this.
I think, at the end of the day,for me it was about just
emotional self-respect.
I had allowed so muchdisrespect that I couldn't even
(17:32):
respect me and, um, I would just, I wanted to find me.
You know like I just thoughtthat was so important.
I just wanted another chance atthis whole thing.
So I love what you had saidearlier, like you can deny
access to the thing that holdsyou captive, and I didn't.
(17:54):
I chose.
I said I am no longer a victimof this.
I am not going to let this bethe thing that defines me, right
, right.
So I love how you said that,because I really believe without
having to use that language,believe without having to use
(18:15):
that language, and now I havelanguage for it is that I denied
access for all things that harmme not just people, but
including me because we can bethat person that actually harms
ourselves, which is quiteintense, isn't?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
it.
Yes, it's very intense.
But, as you were saying that, Iheard something else.
We could be that person harmingourselves, but we could also be
that person that's violatingsomeone else, that just so
happens to be breachingsomeone's personal and we've
been denied access.
(18:51):
We've been told no, but we'renot taking no for an answer.
Would anyone like an example?
Your spouse, your mate, says youknow what, I'm really not
wanting to have thatconversation right now.
Oh no, we're having thatconversation right now.
You've just violated, you'vejust breached an area that could
(19:11):
possibly be.
See, I had to learn this thehard way as a husband, as a
friend and in any relationship,be it work, be it home, be it
friend, that's in a band.
I'm in a band.
If someone says to you thatthey're not able to have a
conversation right now, that'stypically not a brush off,
(19:34):
that's typically not somethingthat someone's just telling you
just so you can't get to saywhat you want to say.
So it's important that weacknowledge that and then
respect that and allow thatboundary to be set.
And so, jen, I don't know ifyou have anything else you want
to say about this, and I'm I'mall open for it.
(19:55):
But I got one final question toreally just kind of crack this
thing wide open.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
Hold on, let me fix there I am.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I didn't.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
I didn't mean to deny access to sound, but I'm back.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
What is it so?
The final question is, jim howdo we prepare, how do we get in
the right mindset so that wedon't have all these traumas, so
we don't have to put up suchbig barriers for denial of
(20:34):
access?
Is there a way to prep yourmind, prep your heart, prep your
emotions, so that you canalready have something in play
for this?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
I think first step is to say and to know and move on
the fact that you're worth theprocess of healing.
And I will always be the firstto say this, especially when it
comes to trauma seek help.
To trauma, like seek help.
(21:15):
It's so beautiful when you havea person in your life, like a
therapist, who's able to giveyou professional help and who's
not involved in your life andcan see things from the outside,
looking in um, and this is itfor me.
That's just um, an amazingspace to be in when someone is
listening and you know whattheir purpose is and their
(21:38):
purpose is to help you helpyourself.
So I think that would be thefirst thing is just find that
little bit that says I'm worththis, I'm worth the effort.
Can I give a tip too?
Because this has really helped.
Again, if you're an extremist,this is for you.
(21:59):
So I've learned to deny accessor set these boundaries, even in
the smallest ways.
Right, because no means no andit's okay to say no, because
saying no isn't a punishment forthe other person.
No, it's actually protectionand preservation, for just for
(22:22):
time and energy and things likethat.
Right?
and for everyone involved,because that no may protect them
, it may protect you, it mayprotect whoever's in in the room
right, exactly so you might besaying no to responding to late
night text or saying no tomaking a commitment that's going
(22:43):
to drain you, right, or I've.
I've seen a lot of people dothis, unfollowing toxic people
on social media, right.
So the more actions you take toset healthy boundaries, to deny
access because it's aboutpreservation, protecting
(23:04):
yourself and the people aroundyou, I think it becomes habit.
It becomes easier because,again, I am such an advocate for
it's in the small interactions,the small actions that
accumulate into big results,long-term impact.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Right, I just want to give one hint, or not hint tip,
but tell a little story.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
So, but tell a little story, so I've never been a big
touchy filly type of personwith people that I don't know
and people that I don't normallyhang out with, and so it has
nothing to do with who you areas a person.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
And I'll give you even a more personal situation.
I was in the hospital and I hadbeen there for about two days
and they send a therapist in, aphysical therapist, and she said
I'm here to you, know, give yousome physical therapy.
I'm going to be massaging yourshoulders and your head and blah
, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And so at first I said, okay,you know, this is a part of the
(24:11):
staying in the hospital and megetting better and all this good
stuff.
However, as she began to touchme, I just was like, nah, I
can't do this, this is not goingto work.
So I told her I said you know,no disrespect to you.
I know this is your job.
I'm not taking this personally,like I don't think you're
trying to do anything.
You know that's outside of yourjob description, but I just
(24:34):
don't like to be touched.
Like you know, in spaces thatI'm not used to being touched.
And she responded in the mostamazing way.
She said that is fine,completely, totally respectable.
I have no problems with that.
As a matter of fact, I'm gladyou said that and didn't allow
me to continue because it wouldhave you know.
(24:56):
So that that's the kind ofperson I am.
Um, I had another situation andI gave you that so you can
understand just who I am where aco-worker got into a habit of
walking into a room when my backwas to the door and this
co-worker would tap me on theshoulder to give me a fist bump.
(25:18):
And the first time it happenedmy mind said not cool, but don't
make a big deal out of it.
The second time it happened Isaid I got to say something
because this is going to be aproblem and that's my first red
flag and my barrier that I donot allow to be breached.
(25:40):
After the second time I have toaddress it and I have to put a
stop to the um, the access.
So if you're out there andyou're listening and this is
something that you're goingthrough if you know this is
going to trigger you and itmight not be touch, it might be
someone cracking a joke that'sinappropriate or saying
(26:03):
something slick or sly to youthat you're just not okay with.
If those are red flags for you,get in the in the mode.
If those are red flags for you,get in the mode, get in the
habit of putting your walls andbarriers and blockers up before
it takes you to the point thatyou can't go back.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Yeah, yeah, and I think that supports the small
interactions, the small settingof boundaries, right, that does
wonders.
Um, I wanted to touch onsomething too, if you don't mind
and you're down for this partof the conversation.
I mentioned overreacting as afeeler.
That's a real thing, right, isthe overreacting piece you said
(26:47):
a feeler.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
To explain that a little bit for the people.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
They don't know what that means so typically, if I
were to translate my reaction,it's usually in feeling like I
feel that I feel like sad or Ifeel offended.
Some people who are thinkers gointo thought oh, very logical,
(27:13):
that's you right, yeah?
definitely cory's a thinker, I'ma feeler, so over reacting
signs, for me, this is where Iknow.
Again, set your boundaries withyourself too.
I always I don't assume intentwithout conversation, because I
(27:34):
have a very wild imagination andconnect things and I've said
this before time and time againconnect things that don't need
to be connected, are you?
Telling stories that aren'treally happening um in my mind
at the time yeah they arehappening, but I'm filling in
the gaps, gotcha, so I'm notdelusional.
(27:57):
Okay, it's just that we wentfrom here to there, and how did
that happen?
So I just kind of like, oh well, it must have been this, or you
know right, thank you soanother tip is don't create
distance out of fear, but if youhave to create distance, create
it out of discernment.
(28:17):
Discernment in all of this issuper powerful.
Um, as you're figuring this out,give me a little bit of
understanding of whatdiscernment is discernment is
just your ability to use wisdomand gained experience and
knowledge on how to handle asituation, right, right.
(28:39):
So, yeah, don't react in fear,but do it because you're
applying wisdom.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Make sense yeah, okay .
Speaker 1 (28:50):
And then I also think and I've learned this too, this
has to do a lot with conflictmanagement is I'm okay if we're
friends or we're family and I'mfeeling like, okay, this really
is going to be a cutoff, and soI'm going to express the need
(29:11):
for the cutoff.
First, I'm not going to leaveyou hanging, because I think,
corey, you and I can agreethat's happened to us, where
we're just like what justhappened and I think there's a
disservice that we do withpeople because, again, cory and
I could be the thing thattriggers you or activates you to
(29:32):
say, oh, boundaries up, right,I need to deny them access, but
when and when people are wantingto learn, it's I think it's
okay to tell them.
That way we can be aware and,um, be like Ooh, I didn't think
about it that way, I didn't knowit was going to land that way
(29:56):
with people.
Let me, let me check myself,let me reflect on this and
change some things.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
I really like that, janet.
I'm glad we had thisconversation and I hope the
listener has an opportunity togo down all these crevices and
rabbit holes to really discoverwhat things are needed to be
locked, what things are neededto have barriers, what things
are needed to be deniedaccessibility, and I hope it
(30:27):
helps someone today and if youfeel like it helped you and
giving you a differentperspective, please feel free to
reach out to us and tell usabout it.
We would love to hear about it.
Yes, please.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Now one more thing, Sure, that I feel that we've
learned, because you saidearlier, when we started the
episode, that you feel thatwe've changed, and I think you
said matured or uh delivery andmaturity yeah.
So again, access denied doesn'talways mean has to be permanent
disconnection, right so Right.
So people have asked hey, jen,hey Corey, when you said this,
like it helps us to hear maybesome language we can use, and so
(31:09):
that's been feedback and wedefinitely want to give that.
So I've, corey, let's just talkabout real quick some language
we've used with each other.
I've become very okay with um.
I need space to think right now, or I'm I'm processing this, or
what I've done differently withyou, cory, is if I'm asking you
(31:32):
something and you don't answerright away and I hope you can
see this I hope because I'vebeen very intentional about now
not like overreacting, like areyou not gonna say anything?
You don't mean, I just kind ofjust sit there and just wait to
see what the response is gonnabe that was me waiting right
then just just giving myself amoment to breathe.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Um, guys, I'm really big on taking a deep breath and
pausing for a moment and justtaking the question in,
especially if it's somethingthat's gonna change or alter a
state of being or a state of apart of life.
Uh, I'm just not gonna answerit right away, just to answer it
, and if you ever find me goingor really really too quick, you
(32:22):
know I'm not taking this in andso that's a dangerous that's
true cory to be talking to,because now I'm not.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
I'm not really being my authentic self yeah, yeah,
here's one inquiry you can sharea statement to our listeners
and I promise we'll end it, eventhough I've enjoyed this
conversation, oh so much I'mglad you have is like I I've
learned this with, with some ofmy girlfriends.
I care, but I can't take thison at this moment.
(32:53):
Or I care and you'll get a genthat's so much more present at
the beginning of the day versusat 11 o'clock like right now
tonight, right, so, um, that hasjust been great for me and it's
(33:13):
helped me show up better as afriend.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
A friend, a wife, um, a family member.
It will help you in so manydifferent ways.
And yes, jen, you have told methat you're going to get a
better Jen.
Tomorrow morning I am wiped outand, as much as that may sting,
because I just want to tell yousomething so bad, I respect it
(33:39):
and I appreciate it later,because I do get a better gen, I
do get a better response, andthen we're still completely open
for accessibility, whereas if Ipush the issue, you're going to
deny me access, and then I'mgoing to get mad and I'm going
to deny you access and then wegot this issue that we don't
(34:00):
even know what to do with itdeny you access, and then we got
this issue that we don't evenknow what to do with it.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Yes, yes, great.
I want to thank you forbringing this forward.
I think it's a good topic.
That should not be somethingyou gloss over once, right,
because it just needs moreconversation, more support to
(34:25):
let people know you're not inthis by yourself.
People go through thisAbsolutely, yeah.
So please DM us, let us know ifyou have any thoughts or any
feedback that you'd like toshare with us.
We're all for it, and if we aresomething that or some one that
you need to talk to or have aquestion about something we've
said or done, we're all for it.
We love that kind of stuffbecause we want to elevate with
(34:47):
you.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Yeah, and if you've liked the ads that have been
playing throughout the podcast,those are being curated and
picked especially for you, so Ihope that we're picking things
that you guys like to hear inthe in the breaks yes, well,
have a good day everyone.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
And you know us to take the elevator.
We say look up and let'selevate, elevate every day,
elevate every day.
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