August 7, 2025 • 50 mins
Looking for sex positions that actually feel good—not just the ones you see in magazines or corn?
In this episode , I’m joined by therapist, and author Suzannah Weiss to break down the truth about what makes a sex position great—for your body, your pleasure, and your real life.
Whether you're dealing with size mismatches, limited flexibility, queer pairings, or past discomfort in bed, this conversation is packed with insights, adaptations, and expert advice that actually work.
We cover:
✔️ The best positions for cl*toral stimulation, deeper connection, and strong orgasms
✔️ What to try if you have a larger or smaller p*nis
✔️ Positions that support comfort after injury or during pregnancy
✔️ Queer-friendly positions for v/v
✔️ How to modify classic positions for real bodies
✔️ Tools, toys, and furniture that can help
✔️ How to know when a position isn’t working—and what to do instead
This isn’t about performance. It’s about pleasure that fits you—your shape, your needs, your turn-ons.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here.
Nothing's off limits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends and, of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome tomy podcast.
(00:42):
Where desire meets disruptionand pleasure becomes power.
Now let's talk about sex Cheers.
Today's Talk Sex with Annettetopic is the truth about the
best sex positions, finallyexplained.
Let's be honest, If you've everGoogled what's the best sex
(01:05):
position, you weren't justlooking for a name.
You were looking for a shortcutto mind-blowing sex.
You want a position thatactually feels good for both of
you, Something that doesn't justget the job done but builds
heat, builds connection andleaves you both aching for round
two.
But here's what no one tellsyou.
(01:26):
The best position isn't aboutflexibility or porn moves.
It's about fit, chemistry,pressure, access and, yeah,
sometimes it's about adaptingwhen things don't line up
perfectly, whether that'sbecause of body size, shape,
energy or because you've got twovolas and you don't know what
to do with them.
That's why I brought in SusannaWeiss, sexologist, therapist
(01:51):
and one of the most widelypublished writers in the sex
education world.
You've seen her work in the NewYork Times, Glamour, Teen,
Vogue and over 8,000 otherplaces.
She's also the author ofSubjectified and Eve's Blessing,
two books that challengeeverything we've been taught
about women, objectification andpleasure.
(02:13):
In this episode, we're going toget real about what makes a sex
position good or secretly awful,how to navigate size
differences, discomfort or thisjust isn't working moments and
the best positions for deeperconnection, stronger orgasms and
bodies that don't followheteronormative scripts.
(02:34):
Whether you've got a penis, avulva or working with two of the
same, we've got something foryour body, your bedroom and your
pleasure.
But before dive in, I want toremind you that I am over on
OnlyFans and there I'm sharingmy sex and intimacy how-tos and
audio guided self-pleasuremeditations, along with so much
more.
I'm also over on Substack doinga whole lot of the same.
(02:55):
You can find me in both placesunder my handle.
At TalkSexWithAnette, you canalso scroll down to the notes
section of this episode andyou're going to find links to
wherever you want to find me forwhatever you want to find me
for.
And now, Susanna, I would loveto give you an opportunity to
tell my listeners a little bitmore about you.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Thank you, you pretty much covered it.
I am a writer, an author of twobooks about sexual empowerment
and many articles, as well as apsychotherapist, sex therapist
and sex educator, as well as abirth doula.
You can find more info about meat my website, SusannaWeisscom.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
There you go, plenty of places to find her and
listeners.
I want you to stay to the endbecause in this episode you are
going to have a chance to learnhow to adapt or try positions
that are going to change yoursex life.
If you have ever and I know youhave, don't lie to me.
(04:02):
I know you've had a momentwhere you're like this feels
awkward or that's too deep, howdo I make it not hurt?
Or I can't feel this wellenough.
By the end of this episodeyou're going to have ways to
adapt.
You're going to have a lot ofyour questions about what's the
best sex position, so that youcan go and bang out some great
(04:23):
ones after you listen to this.
So stay to the end for all ofthe information.
I'm ready to talk about sex andsex positions.
How about you, susanna?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
All right, Cheers.
Let's talk about how to enjoythe best sex positions for your
sex life.
I want to start with Susanna.
What are the fundamentals thatactually make a position good
physically, psychologically andemotionally?
Speaker 2 (05:06):
in magazines, but most people kind of cycle
between some variation ofmissionary, doggy style and
cowgirl and possibly side sexsuch as spooning.
What really makes a sexposition good, I think depends
on the person's preference.
For women who need clitoralstimulation, a position that
leaves the clitoris availablefor manual stimulation or
(05:28):
stimulation with a toy is oftenrecommended.
I often recommend a position Icall kneeling missionary, where
you are on your back and yourpartner's kneeling in front of
you and it's like missionary,but there's room for you to play
with your clit or your partnertoo.
There's also a position calledthe coedal alignment technique,
which is like missionary, butthe partner with the penis or
(05:49):
dildo is moved forward so thattheir pubic bone or the base of
the penis is grinding againstthe clitoris.
Dom sub-dynamics may play intoit.
Like, if someone wants to feeldominant, they might enjoy being
on tops.
If someone wants to feelsubmissive, they might enjoy
being on the bottom.
But there's also ways to feelsubmissive on top if your
partner is grabbing you and incontrol, or even dominant from
(06:11):
the bottom if you're the onemoving and controlling.
So there's yeah, there's reallyno one size fits all.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
What makes a position bad?
What are common traps peoplefall into, even with the
so-called classics, and you justkind of went over those
classics.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I wouldn't say there are any bad positions.
There are different positionsfor different bodies.
So if someone say, has a reallybig penis, a missionary might
be uncomfortable because thenthey're going in really deep.
There's a tool called the O-nutthat goes around the penis and
shortens it so that doesn'thappen.
But if that's a problem, forthe woman to be on top might be
(06:53):
preferable if you're trying todo too much.
But if you look at cosmo, forinstance, there's a lot of
positions like very acrobaticpositions where you're, like you
know, doing a handstand orwhatever.
So I could see that becomingdangerous.
You know, do it at your ownrisk.
Some people might enjoy thechallenge.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I was with a partner who had this fantasy about, well
, woman in reverse cowgirl andkind of doing this backbend
while the other woman was givingoral sex to both people.
And even in my mind I'm likethat's kind of hot.
(07:40):
And then you get into thedynamics of it, the physical
feat that must take place inorder for at least the woman on
top to make it happen.
And it was like sometimes theidea maybe for a certain body
that can do certain things itwould be fine, but sometimes the
idea much sexier or moreconducive to orgasm than the
(08:06):
reality.
And I wonder if sometimes howwe define good plays into what a
good versus bad sex position is.
So good can be fun, but notconducive to an orgasm, because
when you're in a backbend,having an orgasm I am willing to
say full throatedly is nearlyimpossible, but it was.
(08:30):
You know it's an interestingfeat, whereas, you know, other
positions make orgasm mucheasier, especially for a female
bodied person.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yeah, it totally depends on the person's goals.
There are many, you know, waysto orgasm, so if somebody
orgasms during foreplay or afterplay, they may not need that in
the position.
A lot of people don't evenorgasm through intercourse, so
that's not necessarily whatmakes a position good either,
can we?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
list some positions that are more conducive to the
female orgasm, and I want tostart with that, simply because
we know there's an orgasm gapand that people with penises and
men are more likely to accessthat orgasm really quickly.
I know that you have alreadymentioned a couple of positions
(09:18):
that give access to the vulva,but are there any other ones
that you would say for a couplethat and we're going to start
with heteronormative we've got apenis and a vagina that are,
you know, where the woman ishaving a hard time orgasming,
(09:38):
what position it would be bestfor helping her experience an
orgasm best?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
for helping her experience an orgasm.
Yeah, like I said, the coitalalignment technique you could
Google that.
That's when the person with thepenis sort of inserts the penis
in in missionary, then inchesforward so the base of the penis
is rubbing on the clitoris.
There's one I call kneelingmissionary, where you're on your
back and he might be kneelingto penetrate you.
Then you can reach down andtouch your clitoris he can.
(10:07):
Another one I might say iscowgirls.
So people who can orgasm throughG-spot or vaginal stimulation
might prefer to be on top,because then they can completely
control the motion and thedepth and the speed and the
angle, and all that so that theycan actually move in a way
that's conducive to orgasm forthem.
(10:27):
Some people, though, theposition isn't necessarily the
key to an orgasm.
It might be, as I said,clitoral stimulation.
So in any position I wouldrecommend using a toy like the
WeVibe Sync or the Dane ProductsEva that can be worn during
intercourse and that providesclitoral stimulation, such that
you can orgasm pretty much anyposition if you're someone who
(10:52):
orgasms through clitoralstimulation.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
So how can people figure out which positions are
best for their bodies, whetherthat's about size, flexibility,
trauma history or comfort?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
bodies, whether that's about size, flexibility,
trauma, history or comfort,trial and error.
You know, talking to a partnerabout what your preferences are,
why, just like you said, whyyou might want to try a new
position and just tryingdifferent things out and not
taking it too seriously and notworrying if the penis slips out
or whatever mishap happens.
(11:27):
Just be playful and fun andcurious about testing how
different positions feel.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Testing it out and knowing that there are going to
be times when what you thoughtwould be amazing turns out not
to be so amazing.
So let's talk about sizemismatch, because I get a lot of
questions from listeners aboutwhat is the best position for
(11:56):
size, meaning penis size.
I want to start with, because Ihave a lot of experience with
this, somebody who is on thelarger size what positions are
best, especially if they're witha partner, where it feels
painful to the partner, likethey're going too deep and the
(12:17):
largeness has now become abarrier to her enjoyment because
it's causing pain.
A common complaint from womenwith people who have larger
penises is the cervical poundingthat causes excruciating pain.
So are there positions forpeople with large penises that
(12:40):
can help avoid this kind ofcomplication?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
can help avoid this kind of complication.
The easiest way is for thewoman to be on top so she can
completely control the depth ofpenetration.
To have even more control shecould put a pillow under her
butt so that it does not go inas deep when she moves downward.
Their sideways positions aren'tbad like the spooning position,
because you won't get.
You know, in doggy style ormissionary you kind of have
(13:08):
gravity, like moving the penisdownward on the side.
Someone can be a little moregentle.
You can also experiment with aposition like missionary, either
putting your feet on yourpartner's chest to stop him from
moving in too deep, or just sayI'm actually going to do the
moving, like get on top of meand stay still and then sort of
(13:29):
undulate around the penis in theway you like.
That can be a fun game to likesee how long he can stay still.
But some people I don't know,sometimes the instinct is to
move.
But really in any position youcan just say let me move and you
stay still so that I cancontrol the depth.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Right.
So you also mentioned a toy ora product that helps protect
with depth.
Can you re-mention that andexplain what it is exactly?
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Can you re-mention that and explain what it is
exactly?
Yes, the toy is called theO-Nut.
So the O-Nut is it's like alittle donut or there's a series
of like donut plastic, donutshaped things that go around the
penis.
So when it like tries to godeep in the donut kind of stops
it from going deeper.
To go deep in the donut kind ofstops it from going deeper.
(14:28):
So that's good for people whohave larger penises or people
who have pain with sex due to amedical condition, that
sometimes they can stopexperiencing pain during sex
just from experiencing less deeppenetration.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Now let's talk about people with smaller penises, so
I'm talking about short, butalso girth.
I've gotten a lot of questionsfrom people who have penises
that aren't girthy and askingwhat positions are best for them
.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I would say missionary with your legs over
your partner's shoulders can bea good way to get them in deeper
.
This can also help with girth,because your vagina is kind of
(15:26):
scrunched in if you're puttingyour legs up.
Especially that can help withdeath.
If you kind of like drape bothyour legs over one shoulder and
squeeze your legs together, thatcan like create a tighter fit
In terms of girth.
There are also versions ofmissionary where you can be
lying with your legs together sothat you're like squeezing the
penis more.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
So there you go, guys .
You ask me this question allthe time.
So for both the partner withthe vulva, the woman and the man
, there are different things youcan do to overcome a size issue
.
I think for people withmicropenises.
Do you have suggestions forthem?
(16:05):
As far as positions go?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
For somebody with a micropenis, I would probably say
something similar.
I would also say having theperson with the vulva on top
could be better for them to,because it's not on them to like
get into the vulva, um, andjust getting really good with
(16:29):
your mouth and your hands.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Right and you can do a little bit of kind of grinding
like the woman can grind, kindof like you would.
If there's people with twovulvas and you're doing
scissoring, there's also thatkind of position.
That can happen, and then thepenis can be used for external
(16:53):
pleasure as well be used forexternal pleasure as well.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Also, it's unheard of for people with penises to use
strap-ons.
That might be a weird concept,but whether you have a
micropenis or whether you justwant to last longer than your
erection does, you can actuallyuse a strap-on and, you know,
just put it over your penis.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Right, that is true.
I have heard of that.
I've never experienced that,but I believe they have
strap-ons that have like an openpart inside where the penis can
actually insert inside of it,correct?
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yes, there are ones like that and I believe there
that you could just use aregular one also and just like
put it above the penis.
It's also a toy called theTenuto, the mystery vibe Tenuto.
It like goes around the penisand vibrates during sex.
That also might be something tocheck out.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Right, and that would be pleasure for both people.
That would be amazing.
What are some tips and tricksto help make positions more
comfortable if you have aninjury or there's pain for some
reason, whether that's an injuryto the back, the hips, the neck
?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Using furniture can be helpful, such as pillows.
There are pillows madespecifically for sex, such as
the Dane Products Wedge.
You can also just prop yourselfup with pillows.
Some people like a pillow undertheir butt it depends on what
the issue is.
But toys can also be reallyhelpful for people with any kind
of mobility issue.
It gets rid of the need toreach as much.
(18:32):
You can get creative with likehaving sex, like sitting on a
chair or the couch or sitting onthe edge of the bed and also
just letting your partner knowthat communication is very
important.
So they know like don't touchme like this, Don't bend my body
like that, and experiment withdifferent body movements um and
(18:58):
experiment with different bodymovements.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
When I had some hip flexor injuries for a while, I
would use pillows on my bed tobe able to rest my knees on.
I kind of butterflied open myknees.
Then they could be supported bymy pillows.
Or having blankets you can rollup and use almost as you know,
like little props for differentareas of your body.
Those are really quick andinexpensive solutions for giving
(19:27):
your body support while yourpartner, hopefully, can maneuver
around you depending on whatthe injury is.
So some positions arephysically satisfying but
emotionally disconnected.
What are your favorites forbuilding intimacy while still
feeling like physically hot?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
One position that allows for intimacy is called
lap dance, where your partner isin a chair and you get on top,
so your faces are close, and youa chair and you get on top, so
your faces are close and you cankiss and you get the same kind
of stimulation you get fromcowgirl, so it's just like a
more intimate version of womanon top.
Another one the side sexposition, is very intimate for a
(20:13):
lot of people If you and yourpartner are facing each other on
your sides and you can wrapyour arms around each other and
caress each other and kiss andmove very slowly and it can be
very romantic.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Are there any positions that are maybe not
traditional, that are perhapskind of surprisingly romantic or
connected or allow for moreconnection?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
There's a position called the yab-yam.
It's a tantric position fromthe Kama Sutra.
The man or whoever's likepenetrating has their legs
crossed, and then the woman orwhoever's being penetrated also
has their legs crossed and is ontop, so their legs are wrapping
around their partner's back,and then their arms also wrap
(21:03):
around each other, and then youslowly move either back and
forth or up and down whileyou're wrapped around each other
, and that is considered veryromantic.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Are there positions that are better for different
moods, like slow and sensual sexversus quickies, or like fast,
hot sex?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
For a quickie.
It depends on what the settingis.
But if you are, say, sneakinginto a bathroom or something
dirty like that, you can aposition where I'm going to use
heteronormative terms forsimplicity where the woman is
leaning over something, whetherthat's like a sink or a bed, and
(21:50):
just sticks out her ass andthen the man, like you know,
just grabs her and penetratesher.
That could be like a verypassionate, um, quickie kind of
position and and can work insmall spaces, like again, if
you're sneaking to the bathroomor something like that, um, and
the opposite would be if you'relooking for something like slow
(22:14):
and passionate, I would saysomething like the pretzel.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I think we're on the same page with the pretzel.
The woman would be laying onher back, but imagine bringing
your knees up to 90 and thenkind of taking them over to one
side right, and then you'rebeing penetrated by the man
who's in front of you.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah, so he's between your legs like missionary, but
your hips are swiveled so thatlike one hip is on the bed, one
is pointing toward the ceiling.
It can give you this feeling ofbeing taken and sort of help
you explore a new angle ofpenetration.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Actually, I've done a lot of it in my recent history
and it's new for me.
It's not something, actuallythat I had done very much before
.
A you're very, very right aboutthat.
I felt very taken in theposition because it's not
something I am in control of.
(23:23):
You takes it and moves yourlegs into this pretzeled side
swivel position.
The other thing that I reallylike about it because I am a
(23:45):
short girly is it keeps thedepth from being for me too,
because I got a big booty, soyour butt kind and your hip kind
of being there keeps the depthfrom feeling too intense.
While they can still likethrust and sort of aka pound
(24:05):
away and not go as deep.
I feel like it hits, oddlyenough, my G-spot pretty well as
well, so that's a unique one.
We've talked a lot about PNV ordildo-NV sex so far, but I want
to talk really quickly aboutwhat about two people with
(24:28):
vulvas or two women together.
Do you have any suggestions forsome of the best sex positions
for two women?
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Yeah, well, one that you described was scissoring
that's probably one of the mostwell-known where they are like
rubbing their genitals togetherwith their legs out like
scissors.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Can we talk about?
Can we?
Can we just talk honestly aboutit though, because I think I've
, even, I've, even I even have apast episode on it.
Everyone's like do peoplereally like scissoring?
Scissoring is not an easyposition.
I, at least, not for me.
I've given it many a goes, butcan we talk about how positions
(25:15):
that make scissoring good andeasier?
Speaker 2 (25:22):
There is a toy that's specifically for scissoring.
Have you heard of it?
It's by Wet For Her.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
It's called the Rocker Duo Mini Scissoring
Vibrator that apparently youwear over your vulva and it,
like it, has an attachment thatwill also stimulate your
partner's vulva, so that mightmake it a bit easier one thing
that I have found pleasurableand I've used in the past, like
(25:49):
it is still technically,scissoring is like taken like
the wand and put it between thetwo vulvas so that there is that
scissoring motion.
But it helps because in orderin my experience again, feel
free to like enlighten me to howI could do this differently
(26:09):
Scissoring creates almost adistance, a little bit of a
disconnect, because your headshave to be the angle that it
takes in order for two vulvas tocome together is not conducive,
in my opinion, to you beingface to face or eye to eye.
But if you put a wand betweenyou, you can do that literally
(26:33):
sitting up with one person'slegs draped over the other one,
the wand in between you and thenyou both enjoying like the
vibrations from the wand.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
That's a good suggestion.
Yeah, most scissoring tends toinvolve people on opposite sides
of the bed.
One could just be.
One person is grinding betweenthe other person's legs without
it necessarily having to be inthe scissor position, but just
one person has their legs openand the other is just grinding
against them.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
You can scissor on different body parts, Meaning
you can grind your I guessthat's not scissoring you can
grind your vulva on differentbody parts of your partner, like
their thigh or their legs, soon and so forth.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yeah, there is a variation also where one person
is behind the other.
So one person has their legssort of scissored and the other
person kind of comes in behindthem and grinds against them.
That's also maybe not classicscissoring, but almost like
spooning scissoring, where oneperson may be grinding against
the other's leg more than thetwo vulvas together.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Okay, interesting.
And then, of course, you canalways use strap-ons and do more
sort of traditionalheteronormative-ish positions.
Yes, okay, any last.
Suggestions for people with twovulvas Dramativish positions
yes, okay, any last suggestionsfor people with two vulvas.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I mean oral sex and fingering are always good, Like
using sex toys.
Toys are always great.
There are a number of toys thatpeople can put between two
bodies.
There's also one called the NBby Wildflower that you can sort
of like put in between both yourgenitals and both rub again.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
I'd like to switch gears a little bit, because so
far we've been talking about sex.
In terms of penetrative sex,we've been in that very limited
scope, I mean except for withthe two vulvas.
So I want to talk about some ofthe best positions for foreplay
and oral pleasure.
What are your faves?
Speaker 2 (29:03):
For oral sex.
So for a woman receiving oralsex, the classic one is to just
have your legs spread, obviously, and have your partner in
between your legs.
There's also one called theKeevan method.
That supposedly makes it easierfor a lot of women to orgasm
where your partner is coming infrom the side, so their tongue
will be licking your vulva backand forth instead of up and down
(29:23):
, because their mouth is like ata perpendicular or their whole
body is at a perpendicular angleto yours and some women there
was a whole viral Reddit threadabout it Some women saying I
always orgasm in like threeminutes through this position.
So it may depend on whatsomeone's masturbation style is.
(29:44):
I have a theory like if they rubthe vulva from side to side,
then that's more pleasurable forthem, but it's worth trying.
Another fun one, if you're intofemdom or just feeling like the
one in power, is if you aresitting on the bed or on a chair
or a couch and your partner ison the floor and is looking up
(30:05):
licking you, it can give thefeeling of domination and
submission or you can havecomplicated with penetration.
But if you're, say, on the sideof a pool or a hot tub and your
partner is in the pool or hottub, then they can.
You can like sit on the sidewith your legs apart and they
(30:28):
can swim up and give you oralsex from there, as long as
there's no you know other peoplearound or they're consenting
there's no, you know, otherpeople around or they're
consenting Right?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Obviously, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
What are your feelings about 69?
A lot of people find 69 to beoverrated because it's a lot of
multitasking.
So don't be worried if that'snot your favorite thing.
You know there is thought thatneeds to be put into, like
getting the other person off,and then it may be hard to
concentrate on what you'refeeling.
So don't worry if you're notinto that or if that's something
where you want to like do itfor a minute and then switch to
(31:09):
something else.
You know it can also just behot.
I feel like that's, for whateverreason, something people always
talk about as teenagers.
Like the number 69, peoplegiggle, so it almost like has
that appeal to it, that taboo oflike whoa.
I used to like fantasize aboutthis like as an adolescent, so I
(31:29):
feel like that's part of itsappeal.
Yeah, I also feel like well,there are different ways to do
it.
I would experiment both ways,like if there's a penis and a
vulva, doing it with the personwith the penis on top, also
trying it with the person withthe vulva on top, like sitting
(31:50):
on the face, and see which wayworks better works better.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
I love 69.
I'm a fan, but I do know I hearoftentimes people say the same
things that you do or that youjust went over, that they
struggle with that position.
For those reasons I'm like,just don't think about it, just
enjoy.
I like that.
For me, the vulva to like mouth, like sensation combination is
really exciting.
All right, so let's do somequick ones here.
(32:25):
What is your top recommendationfor?
If you want to dominate someone?
What position would yourecommend for being in dom mode?
Speaker 2 (32:38):
If the female is in dom mode, sure.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Yeah, let's talk about a woman dominating whoever
.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
The lap dance position would be pretty good
for that, where you're like ontop and they're sitting in a
chair, because then you can sortof tease them and grind against
them and, like you have yourfeet on the floor so you can
like move in and out and maybeedge your partner.
So that could be a goodposition for domination, in
(33:09):
addition to the fact that you'reon top.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
What about someone with a penis?
Or a man?
What about a man in?
Speaker 2 (33:20):
the dumb position.
Doggy style is a good positionfor that Cause he can pull your
hair, he can uh, spank you ifyou're into that, and you know,
grab you and move you how hewants.
Um, and that's also, some womenlike the sensation of the ball
slapping against their clit, sothat's another bonus of that.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
We have talked about positions that are more likely
to make her have an orgasm, butwhat about him?
What if you want to give you ahot, fast, big O?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
What would you say is a position that's conducive to
being an absolute, for surething for him either standing or
leaning forward againstsomething like a wall or a bed
(34:19):
and just let him grab you andtake you.
That can be very exciting forboth people.
Um, it's, I would say, a newposition that you don't normally
do.
Could also like add thatnovelty that gets him very
excited, or one you know.
It depends, like what histurn-ons are.
If he's very turned on, forinstance, by your ass, then like
(34:39):
one from behind would be good,or if it's your boobs, one where
you're on top and he could seethem.
So ask him.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
What is the best position for people who have
bigger bodies?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
The spooning position would be good for that, because
there's no pressure againstyour stomach.
They can enter you from behindand just caress you.
There's.
Also being on your back withyour partner and kneeling is a
good one, because, again and Ialso sometimes recommend that
for pregnant people, like ifyour stomach is uh kind of up
(35:16):
from pregnancy, there's plentyof room and, yeah, sex on your
stomach could also be good forthat, you know, just because all
your partner has to do is geton top of you.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
It does seem like a doggy position, where your head
is down and your butt is uphigher, would offer easy entry
from behind, regardless of youknow how how much, how, how big
a booty you got.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Right and putting it might be helpful also to like
put a pillow under your pelvisto sort of lift up your butt.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Right, so you can relax.
I always, if I'm in doggyposition, I always put a pillow
for support under my chest.
Give me, take a little bit ofthe pressure off of my arms and
my upper body.
You know, to be able to leaninto a pillow is always nice.
What is the most underratedposition in your mind?
Speaker 2 (36:22):
I think people see missionary as a very basic
position.
That's not that exciting, butsome studies actually show
that's the position women aremost likely to orgasm in and
that you know.
There's so many variations ofmissionary.
There's so many differentthings you can do with your legs
, different things, differentlike angles from which a partner
can enter.
So I would say that for manypeople missionary is underrated.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
What is one of the most overrated positions in your
book, One that everyone like oryou see in the movies and
everyone talks about, but whenyou actually do it, you're like
ugh see in the movies andeveryone talks about, but when
you actually do it you're likeugh.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
The one I always see in sex position articles is
wheelbarrow, where, like I thinkthat's what people go to when
they want to be adventurous.
So it's like a woman like hasher hands on the floor and a man
like picks up her stomach, likepicks up her body from her
waist and penetrates her frombehind.
It's just very difficult tomaneuver, so don't feel bad if
you can't maneuver that one.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
That standing sex, like standing up and having sex.
What are your thoughts about itand where can it be used to be
really good and where does itnot not work, because I'm not a
big fan, so give me your, yourhot take on standing sex
(37:45):
standing sex can be very hot forsomeone who, like, wants to
feel taken and wants their, tofeel their partner's strength
and their partner's dominance.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
So that could be, you know, facing each other.
One person's pinned to the wall, the other one penetrates them
from below, or it could besomebody you know is facing the
wall and others behind them.
It really depends on therespective heights of the
individuals.
But I would recommend for somepeople yeah, for some people,
(38:16):
it's difficult to maneuver,especially face to face I might
recommend they try it with onepartner behind them.
Or, yeah, using you can sort ofadjust the angle of you to the
wall.
So you might want to like backup and like be moving, be
leaning forward more for extrabalance.
(38:36):
Up and like be moving, beleaning forward more for extra
balance.
Um, but yeah, don't, don'tworry if it's difficult for you,
it not all bodies do that, dothat easily.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
I think it's because I'm so short.
I'm so short, it's always likeI have to be on my tiptoes or um
, and then, face to face, you'reright is where it can get a
little complicated because, well, if you're as short as I am and
like I rarely have a partnerwho's not quite a bit taller
than me, they're going to haveto like they got to lift me up.
(39:07):
Right, they got to lift me up.
They got to be strong.
I need a strong partner to makethat work.
Partner to make that work.
So, for listeners who arelooking at upgrading their
bedroom experience tonight, whatare some small tweaks they can
start making to whatever they'realready doing to upgrade the
(39:32):
positions that they're usingwhen they go home tonight and
they have intimacy with theirpartner?
Speaker 2 (39:42):
I would say, try changing the angle just slightly
.
So, for instance, if you reallylike, if you're a woman with a
vulva and you like to be on top,I would recommend see what
happens if you swivel slightlyto the side or if you change the
motion with which you grind.
So, rather than an up and downposition, many people with
(40:05):
vaginas actually prefer more ofa like back and forth position,
so sort of grinding against thepenis forward and back, forward
and back or even in circles,change the motion of your hips.
A lot of the positions can bekept the same, but changing the
motion of the hips can make abig difference.
If someone is a man with apenis penetrating someone in
(40:25):
missionary, they can try sort ofmoving their hips in a more
circular motion, so they're sortof getting at the vagina from
different angles.
Or try like penetrating more tothe left or more to the right
and see what the person likesthe most.
That's probably the simplestway to vary your position
(40:47):
without any acrobatics.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
The motion, the motion and the angle.
Yeah, I love that.
What are some must-have propsto have with you, like in your
bedroom?
I mean, you can't necessarilycarry things with you, but
things that can help you adjustthe positions you're in to
become the best position for you.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Yeah, I would say, as we suggested.
Pillows are often helpful toget um, either a sex pillow like
the Dame webbed, or just just avery firm pillow that won't
just sink in when you're on topof it.
Um, in terms of props, yeah,blankets, rolling up blankets
and some.
(41:34):
So it's funny, I have a reallysquishy mattress pad and people
partners often comment like, ohmy God, I could just like sink
into this bed.
That could be another thing totry.
If somebody I'm not sureexactly how it affects sex, I
think it creates like whoever'son the bottom, just completely
like sinks in and relaxes.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
I think it'd be a bed , princess, if you will.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Or even like a beanbag chair, that that could
be fun if someone, if someonejust wants to sink into it.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
So listeners you should check out and I will, of
course, add links and send thisout in a newsletter with
recommendations from thispodcast on props, toys and
furniture that can easily beadded to your bedroom routine to
enhance any position you're in.
It sounds to me like sort ofthe moral of the story or the
(42:33):
moral of this podcast.
The lesson from this podcast isthat almost any position can be
the best if you figure out howto adapt it to the bodies that
are involved.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Yes, and I think it's even more about attitude than
position.
If you can have a fun, playfulattitude and be open to
emotionally connecting andlaughing, then it doesn't matter
as much the technicalities ofhow the bodies are fitting
together.
It's more about a dynamicexperience where you're both
adjusting and readjusting andlearning about each other's
(43:11):
bodies.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Great Exploration is what makes it best.
Are there any last tips ortricks recommendations you want
to give my listeners before wewrap this up?
Speaker 2 (43:25):
I always suggest making noise as a way to amplify
sensation during sex, whateverposition you're in, and just um
that that there's sort of a fakeit till you make it phenomenon
where if you kind of exaggerate,like shake moan and do those
things, it actually brings youcloser to orgasm.
(43:46):
So I always recommend that.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Well, there you go.
Get noisy guys In whateverposition you're in.
Thank you so much for all ofthese tips.
I think this is going to bevery useful for a lot of my
listeners.
Now, guys, you've sent yourquestions about positions for
size differences and all thatkind of thing.
You have your options.
You have some recommendationson tools.
Go, give them a try and let meknow how it goes.
(44:09):
Now, Susanna, can you tell mylisteners a little bit more
about where they can find you ifthey want to know more about
what you're doing or get one ofyour books?
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Yeah, definitely.
You can find my booksSubjectified and Eva's Blessing
on Amazon, as well as Barnes,noble or wherever books are sold
.
You can also find me on mywebsite, wwwsusannaweisscom, or
my Twitter, susanna Weiss.
That's spelledS-U-Z-A-N-N-A-H-W-E-I-S-S.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
We'll go check her out.
Thank you so much for joiningfolks.
Sex is all about connection,communication.
It's about play and discovery.
The best position is subjectiveit's clear from this
conversation.
It depends on your body.
It depends on your goal andyour motivation and what you
(45:06):
want to get out of intimacy.
But what's most important infinding the best position for
you and your partner is beingready to have ways to adapt what
you see whether it's on themovie screen or when you're
scrolling through porn to whatis happening in real life.
(45:26):
Be ready to play with it, laughabout it and then communicate
with one another.
If there's a position that'scausing too much pain, you need
to feel like you can say to yourpartner this isn't working,
let's try something else, beexperimental and you will find
the best sex position for youand your partner.
(45:48):
Thank you so much for joiningme today.
Susanna and listeners, if youhave any questions or comments
about this particular episodeand the best sex position for
you, you can scroll down anddrop a question in the comments
below.
If you're on my YouTube channel, that's at TalkSexWithAnette,
if you're an audio listener, youcan head on over to my YouTube
(46:10):
channel and drop a questionthere.
You can email me at Anette atTalkSexWithAnettecom.
Also make sure you sign up formy e-newsletter.
You can email me at Annette atTalkSexWithAnnettecom.
Also make sure you sign up formy e-newsletter.
You can scroll down and clickon a link there.
Sign up for it, because I willbe sending out recommendations
for positions for toys and somuch more, also information on
Susanna's books, in order tofind her.
(46:30):
Until next time, thank you forjoining me, susanna.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
And to my listeners until next time I'll see you in
the locker room.
Cheers Ring loop.
Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here.
Nothing's off limits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends and, of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome tomy podcast.
(00:42):
Where desire meets disruptionand pleasure becomes power.
Now let's talk about sex Cheers.
Today's Talk Sex with Annettetopic is the truth about the
best sex positions, finallyexplained.
Let's be honest, If you've everGoogled what's the best sex
(01:05):
position, you weren't justlooking for a name.
You were looking for a shortcutto mind-blowing sex.
You want a position thatactually feels good for both of
you, Something that doesn't justget the job done but builds
heat, builds connection andleaves you both aching for round
two.
But here's what no one tellsyou.
(01:26):
The best position isn't aboutflexibility or porn moves.
It's about fit, chemistry,pressure, access and, yeah,
sometimes it's about adaptingwhen things don't line up
perfectly, whether that'sbecause of body size, shape,
energy or because you've got twovolas and you don't know what
to do with them.
That's why I brought in SusannaWeiss, sexologist, therapist
(01:51):
and one of the most widelypublished writers in the sex
education world.
You've seen her work in the NewYork Times, Glamour, Teen,
Vogue and over 8,000 otherplaces.
She's also the author ofSubjectified and Eve's Blessing,
two books that challengeeverything we've been taught
about women, objectification andpleasure.
(02:13):
In this episode, we're going toget real about what makes a sex
position good or secretly awful,how to navigate size
differences, discomfort or thisjust isn't working moments and
the best positions for deeperconnection, stronger orgasms and
bodies that don't followheteronormative scripts.
(02:34):
Whether you've got a penis, avulva or working with two of the
same, we've got something foryour body, your bedroom and your
pleasure.
But before dive in, I want toremind you that I am over on
OnlyFans and there I'm sharingmy sex and intimacy how-tos and
audio guided self-pleasuremeditations, along with so much
more.
I'm also over on Substack doinga whole lot of the same.
(02:55):
You can find me in both placesunder my handle.
At TalkSexWithAnette, you canalso scroll down to the notes
section of this episode andyou're going to find links to
wherever you want to find me forwhatever you want to find me
for.
And now, Susanna, I would loveto give you an opportunity to
tell my listeners a little bitmore about you.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Thank you, you pretty much covered it.
I am a writer, an author of twobooks about sexual empowerment
and many articles, as well as apsychotherapist, sex therapist
and sex educator, as well as abirth doula.
You can find more info about meat my website, SusannaWeisscom.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
There you go, plenty of places to find her and
listeners.
I want you to stay to the endbecause in this episode you are
going to have a chance to learnhow to adapt or try positions
that are going to change yoursex life.
If you have ever and I know youhave, don't lie to me.
(04:02):
I know you've had a momentwhere you're like this feels
awkward or that's too deep, howdo I make it not hurt?
Or I can't feel this wellenough.
By the end of this episodeyou're going to have ways to
adapt.
You're going to have a lot ofyour questions about what's the
best sex position, so that youcan go and bang out some great
(04:23):
ones after you listen to this.
So stay to the end for all ofthe information.
I'm ready to talk about sex andsex positions.
How about you, susanna?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
All right, Cheers.
Let's talk about how to enjoythe best sex positions for your
sex life.
I want to start with Susanna.
What are the fundamentals thatactually make a position good
physically, psychologically andemotionally?
Speaker 2 (05:06):
in magazines, but most people kind of cycle
between some variation ofmissionary, doggy style and
cowgirl and possibly side sexsuch as spooning.
What really makes a sexposition good, I think depends
on the person's preference.
For women who need clitoralstimulation, a position that
leaves the clitoris availablefor manual stimulation or
(05:28):
stimulation with a toy is oftenrecommended.
I often recommend a position Icall kneeling missionary, where
you are on your back and yourpartner's kneeling in front of
you and it's like missionary,but there's room for you to play
with your clit or your partnertoo.
There's also a position calledthe coedal alignment technique,
which is like missionary, butthe partner with the penis or
(05:49):
dildo is moved forward so thattheir pubic bone or the base of
the penis is grinding againstthe clitoris.
Dom sub-dynamics may play intoit.
Like, if someone wants to feeldominant, they might enjoy being
on tops.
If someone wants to feelsubmissive, they might enjoy
being on the bottom.
But there's also ways to feelsubmissive on top if your
partner is grabbing you and incontrol, or even dominant from
(06:11):
the bottom if you're the onemoving and controlling.
So there's yeah, there's reallyno one size fits all.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
What makes a position bad?
What are common traps peoplefall into, even with the
so-called classics, and you justkind of went over those
classics.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
I wouldn't say there are any bad positions.
There are different positionsfor different bodies.
So if someone say, has a reallybig penis, a missionary might
be uncomfortable because thenthey're going in really deep.
There's a tool called the O-nutthat goes around the penis and
shortens it so that doesn'thappen.
But if that's a problem, forthe woman to be on top might be
(06:53):
preferable if you're trying todo too much.
But if you look at cosmo, forinstance, there's a lot of
positions like very acrobaticpositions where you're, like you
know, doing a handstand orwhatever.
So I could see that becomingdangerous.
You know, do it at your ownrisk.
Some people might enjoy thechallenge.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I was with a partner who had this fantasy about, well
, woman in reverse cowgirl andkind of doing this backbend
while the other woman was givingoral sex to both people.
And even in my mind I'm likethat's kind of hot.
(07:40):
And then you get into thedynamics of it, the physical
feat that must take place inorder for at least the woman on
top to make it happen.
And it was like sometimes theidea maybe for a certain body
that can do certain things itwould be fine, but sometimes the
idea much sexier or moreconducive to orgasm than the
(08:06):
reality.
And I wonder if sometimes howwe define good plays into what a
good versus bad sex position is.
So good can be fun, but notconducive to an orgasm, because
when you're in a backbend,having an orgasm I am willing to
say full throatedly is nearlyimpossible, but it was.
(08:30):
You know it's an interestingfeat, whereas, you know, other
positions make orgasm mucheasier, especially for a female
bodied person.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yeah, it totally depends on the person's goals.
There are many, you know, waysto orgasm, so if somebody
orgasms during foreplay or afterplay, they may not need that in
the position.
A lot of people don't evenorgasm through intercourse, so
that's not necessarily whatmakes a position good either,
can we?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
list some positions that are more conducive to the
female orgasm, and I want tostart with that, simply because
we know there's an orgasm gapand that people with penises and
men are more likely to accessthat orgasm really quickly.
I know that you have alreadymentioned a couple of positions
(09:18):
that give access to the vulva,but are there any other ones
that you would say for a couplethat and we're going to start
with heteronormative we've got apenis and a vagina that are,
you know, where the woman ishaving a hard time orgasming,
(09:38):
what position it would be bestfor helping her experience an
orgasm best?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
for helping her experience an orgasm.
Yeah, like I said, the coitalalignment technique you could
Google that.
That's when the person with thepenis sort of inserts the penis
in in missionary, then inchesforward so the base of the penis
is rubbing on the clitoris.
There's one I call kneelingmissionary, where you're on your
back and he might be kneelingto penetrate you.
Then you can reach down andtouch your clitoris he can.
(10:07):
Another one I might say iscowgirls.
So people who can orgasm throughG-spot or vaginal stimulation
might prefer to be on top,because then they can completely
control the motion and thedepth and the speed and the
angle, and all that so that theycan actually move in a way
that's conducive to orgasm forthem.
(10:27):
Some people, though, theposition isn't necessarily the
key to an orgasm.
It might be, as I said,clitoral stimulation.
So in any position I wouldrecommend using a toy like the
WeVibe Sync or the Dane ProductsEva that can be worn during
intercourse and that providesclitoral stimulation, such that
you can orgasm pretty much anyposition if you're someone who
(10:52):
orgasms through clitoralstimulation.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
So how can people figure out which positions are
best for their bodies, whetherthat's about size, flexibility,
trauma history or comfort?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
bodies, whether that's about size, flexibility,
trauma, history or comfort,trial and error.
You know, talking to a partnerabout what your preferences are,
why, just like you said, whyyou might want to try a new
position and just tryingdifferent things out and not
taking it too seriously and notworrying if the penis slips out
or whatever mishap happens.
(11:27):
Just be playful and fun andcurious about testing how
different positions feel.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Testing it out and knowing that there are going to
be times when what you thoughtwould be amazing turns out not
to be so amazing.
So let's talk about sizemismatch, because I get a lot of
questions from listeners aboutwhat is the best position for
(11:56):
size, meaning penis size.
I want to start with, because Ihave a lot of experience with
this, somebody who is on thelarger size what positions are
best, especially if they're witha partner, where it feels
painful to the partner, likethey're going too deep and the
(12:17):
largeness has now become abarrier to her enjoyment because
it's causing pain.
A common complaint from womenwith people who have larger
penises is the cervical poundingthat causes excruciating pain.
So are there positions forpeople with large penises that
(12:40):
can help avoid this kind ofcomplication?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
can help avoid this kind of complication.
The easiest way is for thewoman to be on top so she can
completely control the depth ofpenetration.
To have even more control shecould put a pillow under her
butt so that it does not go inas deep when she moves downward.
Their sideways positions aren'tbad like the spooning position,
because you won't get.
You know, in doggy style ormissionary you kind of have
(13:08):
gravity, like moving the penisdownward on the side.
Someone can be a little moregentle.
You can also experiment with aposition like missionary, either
putting your feet on yourpartner's chest to stop him from
moving in too deep, or just sayI'm actually going to do the
moving, like get on top of meand stay still and then sort of
(13:29):
undulate around the penis in theway you like.
That can be a fun game to likesee how long he can stay still.
But some people I don't know,sometimes the instinct is to
move.
But really in any position youcan just say let me move and you
stay still so that I cancontrol the depth.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
Right.
So you also mentioned a toy ora product that helps protect
with depth.
Can you re-mention that andexplain what it is exactly?
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Can you re-mention that and explain what it is
exactly?
Yes, the toy is called theO-Nut.
So the O-Nut is it's like alittle donut or there's a series
of like donut plastic, donutshaped things that go around the
penis.
So when it like tries to godeep in the donut kind of stops
it from going deeper.
To go deep in the donut kind ofstops it from going deeper.
(14:28):
So that's good for people whohave larger penises or people
who have pain with sex due to amedical condition, that
sometimes they can stopexperiencing pain during sex
just from experiencing less deeppenetration.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Now let's talk about people with smaller penises, so
I'm talking about short, butalso girth.
I've gotten a lot of questionsfrom people who have penises
that aren't girthy and askingwhat positions are best for them
.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I would say missionary with your legs over
your partner's shoulders can bea good way to get them in deeper
.
This can also help with girth,because your vagina is kind of
(15:26):
scrunched in if you're puttingyour legs up.
Especially that can help withdeath.
If you kind of like drape bothyour legs over one shoulder and
squeeze your legs together, thatcan like create a tighter fit
In terms of girth.
There are also versions ofmissionary where you can be
lying with your legs together sothat you're like squeezing the
penis more.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
So there you go, guys .
You ask me this question allthe time.
So for both the partner withthe vulva, the woman and the man
, there are different things youcan do to overcome a size issue
.
I think for people withmicropenises.
Do you have suggestions forthem?
(16:05):
As far as positions go?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
For somebody with a micropenis, I would probably say
something similar.
I would also say having theperson with the vulva on top
could be better for them to,because it's not on them to like
get into the vulva, um, andjust getting really good with
(16:29):
your mouth and your hands.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Right and you can do a little bit of kind of grinding
like the woman can grind, kindof like you would.
If there's people with twovulvas and you're doing
scissoring, there's also thatkind of position.
That can happen, and then thepenis can be used for external
(16:53):
pleasure as well be used forexternal pleasure as well.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Also, it's unheard of for people with penises to use
strap-ons.
That might be a weird concept,but whether you have a
micropenis or whether you justwant to last longer than your
erection does, you can actuallyuse a strap-on and, you know,
just put it over your penis.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Right, that is true.
I have heard of that.
I've never experienced that,but I believe they have
strap-ons that have like an openpart inside where the penis can
actually insert inside of it,correct?
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yes, there are ones like that and I believe there
that you could just use aregular one also and just like
put it above the penis.
It's also a toy called theTenuto, the mystery vibe Tenuto.
It like goes around the penisand vibrates during sex.
That also might be something tocheck out.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Right, and that would be pleasure for both people.
That would be amazing.
What are some tips and tricksto help make positions more
comfortable if you have aninjury or there's pain for some
reason, whether that's an injuryto the back, the hips, the neck
?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Using furniture can be helpful, such as pillows.
There are pillows madespecifically for sex, such as
the Dane Products Wedge.
You can also just prop yourselfup with pillows.
Some people like a pillow undertheir butt it depends on what
the issue is.
But toys can also be reallyhelpful for people with any kind
of mobility issue.
It gets rid of the need toreach as much.
(18:32):
You can get creative with likehaving sex, like sitting on a
chair or the couch or sitting onthe edge of the bed and also
just letting your partner knowthat communication is very
important.
So they know like don't touchme like this, Don't bend my body
like that, and experiment withdifferent body movements um and
(18:58):
experiment with different bodymovements.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
When I had some hip flexor injuries for a while, I
would use pillows on my bed tobe able to rest my knees on.
I kind of butterflied open myknees.
Then they could be supported bymy pillows.
Or having blankets you can rollup and use almost as you know,
like little props for differentareas of your body.
Those are really quick andinexpensive solutions for giving
(19:27):
your body support while yourpartner, hopefully, can maneuver
around you depending on whatthe injury is.
So some positions arephysically satisfying but
emotionally disconnected.
What are your favorites forbuilding intimacy while still
feeling like physically hot?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
One position that allows for intimacy is called
lap dance, where your partner isin a chair and you get on top,
so your faces are close, and youa chair and you get on top, so
your faces are close and you cankiss and you get the same kind
of stimulation you get fromcowgirl, so it's just like a
more intimate version of womanon top.
Another one the side sexposition, is very intimate for a
(20:13):
lot of people If you and yourpartner are facing each other on
your sides and you can wrapyour arms around each other and
caress each other and kiss andmove very slowly and it can be
very romantic.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Are there any positions that are maybe not
traditional, that are perhapskind of surprisingly romantic or
connected or allow for moreconnection?
Speaker 2 (20:42):
There's a position called the yab-yam.
It's a tantric position fromthe Kama Sutra.
The man or whoever's likepenetrating has their legs
crossed, and then the woman orwhoever's being penetrated also
has their legs crossed and is ontop, so their legs are wrapping
around their partner's back,and then their arms also wrap
(21:03):
around each other, and then youslowly move either back and
forth or up and down whileyou're wrapped around each other
, and that is considered veryromantic.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Are there positions that are better for different
moods, like slow and sensual sexversus quickies, or like fast,
hot sex?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
For a quickie.
It depends on what the settingis.
But if you are, say, sneakinginto a bathroom or something
dirty like that, you can aposition where I'm going to use
heteronormative terms forsimplicity where the woman is
leaning over something, whetherthat's like a sink or a bed, and
(21:50):
just sticks out her ass andthen the man, like you know,
just grabs her and penetratesher.
That could be like a verypassionate, um, quickie kind of
position and and can work insmall spaces, like again, if
you're sneaking to the bathroomor something like that, um, and
the opposite would be if you'relooking for something like slow
(22:14):
and passionate, I would saysomething like the pretzel.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
I think we're on the same page with the pretzel.
The woman would be laying onher back, but imagine bringing
your knees up to 90 and thenkind of taking them over to one
side right, and then you'rebeing penetrated by the man
who's in front of you.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah, so he's between your legs like missionary, but
your hips are swiveled so thatlike one hip is on the bed, one
is pointing toward the ceiling.
It can give you this feeling ofbeing taken and sort of help
you explore a new angle ofpenetration.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
Actually, I've done a lot of it in my recent history
and it's new for me.
It's not something, actuallythat I had done very much before
.
A you're very, very right aboutthat.
I felt very taken in theposition because it's not
something I am in control of.
(23:23):
You takes it and moves yourlegs into this pretzeled side
swivel position.
The other thing that I reallylike about it because I am a
(23:45):
short girly is it keeps thedepth from being for me too,
because I got a big booty, soyour butt kind and your hip kind
of being there keeps the depthfrom feeling too intense.
While they can still likethrust and sort of aka pound
(24:05):
away and not go as deep.
I feel like it hits, oddlyenough, my G-spot pretty well as
well, so that's a unique one.
We've talked a lot about PNV ordildo-NV sex so far, but I want
to talk really quickly aboutwhat about two people with
(24:28):
vulvas or two women together.
Do you have any suggestions forsome of the best sex positions
for two women?
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Yeah, well, one that you described was scissoring
that's probably one of the mostwell-known where they are like
rubbing their genitals togetherwith their legs out like
scissors.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Can we talk about?
Can we?
Can we just talk honestly aboutit though, because I think I've
, even, I've, even I even have apast episode on it.
Everyone's like do peoplereally like scissoring?
Scissoring is not an easyposition.
I, at least, not for me.
I've given it many a goes, butcan we talk about how positions
(25:15):
that make scissoring good andeasier?
Speaker 2 (25:22):
There is a toy that's specifically for scissoring.
Have you heard of it?
It's by Wet For Her.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
It's called the Rocker Duo Mini Scissoring
Vibrator that apparently youwear over your vulva and it,
like it, has an attachment thatwill also stimulate your
partner's vulva, so that mightmake it a bit easier one thing
that I have found pleasurableand I've used in the past, like
(25:49):
it is still technically,scissoring is like taken like
the wand and put it between thetwo vulvas so that there is that
scissoring motion.
But it helps because in orderin my experience again, feel
free to like enlighten me to howI could do this differently
(26:09):
Scissoring creates almost adistance, a little bit of a
disconnect, because your headshave to be the angle that it
takes in order for two vulvas tocome together is not conducive,
in my opinion, to you beingface to face or eye to eye.
But if you put a wand betweenyou, you can do that literally
(26:33):
sitting up with one person'slegs draped over the other one,
the wand in between you and thenyou both enjoying like the
vibrations from the wand.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
That's a good suggestion.
Yeah, most scissoring tends toinvolve people on opposite sides
of the bed.
One could just be.
One person is grinding betweenthe other person's legs without
it necessarily having to be inthe scissor position, but just
one person has their legs openand the other is just grinding
against them.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
You can scissor on different body parts, Meaning
you can grind your I guessthat's not scissoring you can
grind your vulva on differentbody parts of your partner, like
their thigh or their legs, soon and so forth.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yeah, there is a variation also where one person
is behind the other.
So one person has their legssort of scissored and the other
person kind of comes in behindthem and grinds against them.
That's also maybe not classicscissoring, but almost like
spooning scissoring, where oneperson may be grinding against
the other's leg more than thetwo vulvas together.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Okay, interesting.
And then, of course, you canalways use strap-ons and do more
sort of traditionalheteronormative-ish positions.
Yes, okay, any last.
Suggestions for people with twovulvas Dramativish positions
yes, okay, any last suggestionsfor people with two vulvas.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
I mean oral sex and fingering are always good, Like
using sex toys.
Toys are always great.
There are a number of toys thatpeople can put between two
bodies.
There's also one called the NBby Wildflower that you can sort
of like put in between both yourgenitals and both rub again.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
I'd like to switch gears a little bit, because so
far we've been talking about sex.
In terms of penetrative sex,we've been in that very limited
scope, I mean except for withthe two vulvas.
So I want to talk about some ofthe best positions for foreplay
and oral pleasure.
What are your faves?
Speaker 2 (29:03):
For oral sex.
So for a woman receiving oralsex, the classic one is to just
have your legs spread, obviously, and have your partner in
between your legs.
There's also one called theKeevan method.
That supposedly makes it easierfor a lot of women to orgasm
where your partner is coming infrom the side, so their tongue
will be licking your vulva backand forth instead of up and down
(29:23):
, because their mouth is like ata perpendicular or their whole
body is at a perpendicular angleto yours and some women there
was a whole viral Reddit threadabout it Some women saying I
always orgasm in like threeminutes through this position.
So it may depend on whatsomeone's masturbation style is.
(29:44):
I have a theory like if they rubthe vulva from side to side,
then that's more pleasurable forthem, but it's worth trying.
Another fun one, if you're intofemdom or just feeling like the
one in power, is if you aresitting on the bed or on a chair
or a couch and your partner ison the floor and is looking up
(30:05):
licking you, it can give thefeeling of domination and
submission or you can havecomplicated with penetration.
But if you're, say, on the sideof a pool or a hot tub and your
partner is in the pool or hottub, then they can.
You can like sit on the sidewith your legs apart and they
(30:28):
can swim up and give you oralsex from there, as long as
there's no you know other peoplearound or they're consenting
there's no, you know, otherpeople around or they're
consenting Right?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Obviously, yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
What are your feelings about 69?
A lot of people find 69 to beoverrated because it's a lot of
multitasking.
So don't be worried if that'snot your favorite thing.
You know there is thought thatneeds to be put into, like
getting the other person off,and then it may be hard to
concentrate on what you'refeeling.
So don't worry if you're notinto that or if that's something
where you want to like do itfor a minute and then switch to
(31:09):
something else.
You know it can also just behot.
I feel like that's, for whateverreason, something people always
talk about as teenagers.
Like the number 69, peoplegiggle, so it almost like has
that appeal to it, that taboo oflike whoa.
I used to like fantasize aboutthis like as an adolescent, so I
(31:29):
feel like that's part of itsappeal.
Yeah, I also feel like well,there are different ways to do
it.
I would experiment both ways,like if there's a penis and a
vulva, doing it with the personwith the penis on top, also
trying it with the person withthe vulva on top, like sitting
(31:50):
on the face, and see which wayworks better works better.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
I love 69.
I'm a fan, but I do know I hearoftentimes people say the same
things that you do or that youjust went over, that they
struggle with that position.
For those reasons I'm like,just don't think about it, just
enjoy.
I like that.
For me, the vulva to like mouth, like sensation combination is
really exciting.
All right, so let's do somequick ones here.
(32:25):
What is your top recommendationfor?
If you want to dominate someone?
What position would yourecommend for being in dom mode?
Speaker 2 (32:38):
If the female is in dom mode, sure.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Yeah, let's talk about a woman dominating whoever
.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
The lap dance position would be pretty good
for that, where you're like ontop and they're sitting in a
chair, because then you can sortof tease them and grind against
them and, like you have yourfeet on the floor so you can
like move in and out and maybeedge your partner.
So that could be a goodposition for domination, in
(33:09):
addition to the fact that you'reon top.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
What about someone with a penis?
Or a man?
What about a man in?
Speaker 2 (33:20):
the dumb position.
Doggy style is a good positionfor that Cause he can pull your
hair, he can uh, spank you ifyou're into that, and you know,
grab you and move you how hewants.
Um, and that's also, some womenlike the sensation of the ball
slapping against their clit, sothat's another bonus of that.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
We have talked about positions that are more likely
to make her have an orgasm, butwhat about him?
What if you want to give you ahot, fast, big O?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
What would you say is a position that's conducive to
being an absolute, for surething for him either standing or
leaning forward againstsomething like a wall or a bed
(34:19):
and just let him grab you andtake you.
That can be very exciting forboth people.
Um, it's, I would say, a newposition that you don't normally
do.
Could also like add thatnovelty that gets him very
excited, or one you know.
It depends, like what histurn-ons are.
If he's very turned on, forinstance, by your ass, then like
(34:39):
one from behind would be good,or if it's your boobs, one where
you're on top and he could seethem.
So ask him.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
What is the best position for people who have
bigger bodies?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
The spooning position would be good for that, because
there's no pressure againstyour stomach.
They can enter you from behindand just caress you.
There's.
Also being on your back withyour partner and kneeling is a
good one, because, again and Ialso sometimes recommend that
for pregnant people, like ifyour stomach is uh kind of up
(35:16):
from pregnancy, there's plentyof room and, yeah, sex on your
stomach could also be good forthat, you know, just because all
your partner has to do is geton top of you.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
It does seem like a doggy position, where your head
is down and your butt is uphigher, would offer easy entry
from behind, regardless of youknow how how much, how, how big
a booty you got.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Right and putting it might be helpful also to like
put a pillow under your pelvisto sort of lift up your butt.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Right, so you can relax.
I always, if I'm in doggyposition, I always put a pillow
for support under my chest.
Give me, take a little bit ofthe pressure off of my arms and
my upper body.
You know, to be able to leaninto a pillow is always nice.
What is the most underratedposition in your mind?
Speaker 2 (36:22):
I think people see missionary as a very basic
position.
That's not that exciting, butsome studies actually show
that's the position women aremost likely to orgasm in and
that you know.
There's so many variations ofmissionary.
There's so many differentthings you can do with your legs
, different things, differentlike angles from which a partner
can enter.
So I would say that for manypeople missionary is underrated.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
What is one of the most overrated positions in your
book, One that everyone like oryou see in the movies and
everyone talks about, but whenyou actually do it, you're like
ugh see in the movies andeveryone talks about, but when
you actually do it you're likeugh.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
The one I always see in sex position articles is
wheelbarrow, where, like I thinkthat's what people go to when
they want to be adventurous.
So it's like a woman like hasher hands on the floor and a man
like picks up her stomach, likepicks up her body from her
waist and penetrates her frombehind.
It's just very difficult tomaneuver, so don't feel bad if
you can't maneuver that one.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
That standing sex, like standing up and having sex.
What are your thoughts about itand where can it be used to be
really good and where does itnot not work, because I'm not a
big fan, so give me your, yourhot take on standing sex
(37:45):
standing sex can be very hot forsomeone who, like, wants to
feel taken and wants their, tofeel their partner's strength
and their partner's dominance.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
So that could be, you know, facing each other.
One person's pinned to the wall, the other one penetrates them
from below, or it could besomebody you know is facing the
wall and others behind them.
It really depends on therespective heights of the
individuals.
But I would recommend for somepeople yeah, for some people,
(38:16):
it's difficult to maneuver,especially face to face I might
recommend they try it with onepartner behind them.
Or, yeah, using you can sort ofadjust the angle of you to the
wall.
So you might want to like backup and like be moving, be
leaning forward more for extrabalance.
(38:36):
Up and like be moving, beleaning forward more for extra
balance.
Um, but yeah, don't, don'tworry if it's difficult for you,
it not all bodies do that, dothat easily.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
I think it's because I'm so short.
I'm so short, it's always likeI have to be on my tiptoes or um
, and then, face to face, you'reright is where it can get a
little complicated because, well, if you're as short as I am and
like I rarely have a partnerwho's not quite a bit taller
than me, they're going to haveto like they got to lift me up.
(39:07):
Right, they got to lift me up.
They got to be strong.
I need a strong partner to makethat work.
Partner to make that work.
So, for listeners who arelooking at upgrading their
bedroom experience tonight, whatare some small tweaks they can
start making to whatever they'realready doing to upgrade the
(39:32):
positions that they're usingwhen they go home tonight and
they have intimacy with theirpartner?
Speaker 2 (39:42):
I would say, try changing the angle just slightly
.
So, for instance, if you reallylike, if you're a woman with a
vulva and you like to be on top,I would recommend see what
happens if you swivel slightlyto the side or if you change the
motion with which you grind.
So, rather than an up and downposition, many people with
(40:05):
vaginas actually prefer more ofa like back and forth position,
so sort of grinding against thepenis forward and back, forward
and back or even in circles,change the motion of your hips.
A lot of the positions can bekept the same, but changing the
motion of the hips can make abig difference.
If someone is a man with apenis penetrating someone in
(40:25):
missionary, they can try sort ofmoving their hips in a more
circular motion, so they're sortof getting at the vagina from
different angles.
Or try like penetrating more tothe left or more to the right
and see what the person likesthe most.
That's probably the simplestway to vary your position
(40:47):
without any acrobatics.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
The motion, the motion and the angle.
Yeah, I love that.
What are some must-have propsto have with you, like in your
bedroom?
I mean, you can't necessarilycarry things with you, but
things that can help you adjustthe positions you're in to
become the best position for you.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Yeah, I would say, as we suggested.
Pillows are often helpful toget um, either a sex pillow like
the Dame webbed, or just just avery firm pillow that won't
just sink in when you're on topof it.
Um, in terms of props, yeah,blankets, rolling up blankets
and some.
(41:34):
So it's funny, I have a reallysquishy mattress pad and people
partners often comment like, ohmy God, I could just like sink
into this bed.
That could be another thing totry.
If somebody I'm not sureexactly how it affects sex, I
think it creates like whoever'son the bottom, just completely
like sinks in and relaxes.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
I think it'd be a bed , princess, if you will.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Or even like a beanbag chair, that that could
be fun if someone, if someonejust wants to sink into it.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
So listeners you should check out and I will, of
course, add links and send thisout in a newsletter with
recommendations from thispodcast on props, toys and
furniture that can easily beadded to your bedroom routine to
enhance any position you're in.
It sounds to me like sort ofthe moral of the story or the
(42:33):
moral of this podcast.
The lesson from this podcast isthat almost any position can be
the best if you figure out howto adapt it to the bodies that
are involved.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Yes, and I think it's even more about attitude than
position.
If you can have a fun, playfulattitude and be open to
emotionally connecting andlaughing, then it doesn't matter
as much the technicalities ofhow the bodies are fitting
together.
It's more about a dynamicexperience where you're both
adjusting and readjusting andlearning about each other's
(43:11):
bodies.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Great Exploration is what makes it best.
Are there any last tips ortricks recommendations you want
to give my listeners before wewrap this up?
Speaker 2 (43:25):
I always suggest making noise as a way to amplify
sensation during sex, whateverposition you're in, and just um
that that there's sort of a fakeit till you make it phenomenon
where if you kind of exaggerate,like shake moan and do those
things, it actually brings youcloser to orgasm.
(43:46):
So I always recommend that.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Well, there you go.
Get noisy guys In whateverposition you're in.
Thank you so much for all ofthese tips.
I think this is going to bevery useful for a lot of my
listeners.
Now, guys, you've sent yourquestions about positions for
size differences and all thatkind of thing.
You have your options.
You have some recommendationson tools.
Go, give them a try and let meknow how it goes.
(44:09):
Now, Susanna, can you tell mylisteners a little bit more
about where they can find you ifthey want to know more about
what you're doing or get one ofyour books?
Speaker 2 (44:21):
Yeah, definitely.
You can find my booksSubjectified and Eva's Blessing
on Amazon, as well as Barnes,noble or wherever books are sold
.
You can also find me on mywebsite, wwwsusannaweisscom, or
my Twitter, susanna Weiss.
That's spelledS-U-Z-A-N-N-A-H-W-E-I-S-S.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
We'll go check her out.
Thank you so much for joiningfolks.
Sex is all about connection,communication.
It's about play and discovery.
The best position is subjectiveit's clear from this
conversation.
It depends on your body.
It depends on your goal andyour motivation and what you
(45:06):
want to get out of intimacy.
But what's most important infinding the best position for
you and your partner is beingready to have ways to adapt what
you see whether it's on themovie screen or when you're
scrolling through porn to whatis happening in real life.
(45:26):
Be ready to play with it, laughabout it and then communicate
with one another.
If there's a position that'scausing too much pain, you need
to feel like you can say to yourpartner this isn't working,
let's try something else, beexperimental and you will find
the best sex position for youand your partner.
(45:48):
Thank you so much for joiningme today.
Susanna and listeners, if youhave any questions or comments
about this particular episodeand the best sex position for
you, you can scroll down anddrop a question in the comments
below.
If you're on my YouTube channel, that's at TalkSexWithAnette,
if you're an audio listener, youcan head on over to my YouTube
(46:10):
channel and drop a questionthere.
You can email me at Anette atTalkSexWithAnettecom.
Also make sure you sign up formy e-newsletter.
You can email me at Annette atTalkSexWithAnnettecom.
Also make sure you sign up formy e-newsletter.
You can scroll down and clickon a link there.
Sign up for it, because I willbe sending out recommendations
for positions for toys and somuch more, also information on
Susanna's books, in order tofind her.
(46:30):
Until next time, thank you forjoining me, susanna.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
And to my listeners until next time I'll see you in
the locker room.
Cheers Ring loop.
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
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