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August 11, 2025 14 mins

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Before you even touch her, you can have her thinking about you, craving you, and pulling you closer.
In this episode of Talk Sex with Annette, I reveal the exact blueprint for what to do hours before sex so she’s already turned on and fully invested when you get to the bedroom.

✅ The psychology & science of building anticipation
 ✅ Step-by-step moves that work without crossing her boundaries
 ✅ Common mistakes men make that kill her desire instantly

Whether you’ve been together for years or you’re just starting to date, these tips will change the way she experiences you — and the way she remembers your time together.

⏩ Watch next: What to Do After Sex to Make Her Crave You → https://youtu.be/_fWyLBt3xJo

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Do the sex.
I'm Annette Benedetti, host ofthe podcast formerly known as
Locker Room Talkin' Shots.
The show has a new name TalkSex with Annette, but at its
core, this is still your lockerroom.
It's where we strip away shame,get curious and speak the
unspoken about sex, kink, dating, pleasure and desire.

(00:21):
Around here, nothing's offlimits.
Pleasure and desire Around here, nothing's off limits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends and, of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you, and if
you're new, welcome to mypodcast, where desire meets

(00:43):
disruption and pleasure becomespower.
Now let's talk about sex Cheers.
Today's Talk Sex with Annettetopic is what to do before sex.
So she's already craving you Ifyou want her so turned on,
she's practically pulling youinto the bedroom.

(01:04):
It starts way before you'veever touched her.
The best sex starts hoursbefore you touch her and most
people men in particular missthat entirely.
And if you are skipping thispart, you are setting yourself
up for sex.
That's maybe, maybe good, butnever unforgettable.

(01:25):
Most guys think foreplay is afew minutes of kissing right
before sex.
Big mistake, the kind offoreplay that makes her crave
you begins the moment she walksin the door and oftentimes hours
and hours before.
And look, I'm not talking aboutvague, be romantic advice.

(01:47):
I'm talking about moves backedby real science dopamine,
oxytocin and, of course, whatI've learned from coaching men,
especially on how to createsexual anticipation so strong
she's the one reaching for you.
By the end of this, you'll havea step-by-step blueprint for

(02:08):
building that craving thescience behind why it works so
you can do it with confidence.
And the biggest before sexmistakes that kill her desire
instantly, so you never makethem again.
But before we dive in, I wantto remind you that I'm over on
OnlyFans and there I'm sharingmy sex and intimacy how-tos,

(02:29):
demonstrations and audio guidedself-pleasure meditations all so
you can start having better sexand intimacy tonight and, of
course, more orgasms.
And you can also find me overon Substack doing a whole bunch
of the same, and you can find mein both places under my handle
at TalkSexWithAnette.
And, of course, you couldscroll down to the links in the
description of this episode andyou're going to be able to find

(02:51):
me wherever you want to find me.
I'm looking forward to seeingyou there.
Look if you want her craving youbefore sex, you need to know
exactly what to do and what willkill the mood.
So let's dive in.
Let's talk about how to makeher crave you before you even
touch her Cheers.
Step one to the blueprint tohow to make her crave you before

(03:15):
sex is understanding thescience.
If you understand the brain,you can control the bedroom.
Your goal before sex isn't justto turn her on, it's to create
something called anticipatorypleasure, the sweet spot between
wanting and having.
We all know that sweet spot.
We want to be there and we wantto get her there.

(03:37):
When you build anticipation,her brain releases dopamine.
This is the chemical that makesher think about you, want you,
and chase the reward.
At the same time, oxytocin, thebonding hormone, rises from
shared eye contact, touch andconnection.
Dopamine makes her want you,oxytocin makes her trust.

(04:01):
You get both going and she'llcrave you on every level.
When dopamine and oxytocin risetogether, you're priming her to
respond to you faster and moreintensely once things turn
physical.
So step two to the blueprint tomaking her crave you before you
have sex is you've got to starthours before you see her.

(04:25):
If you wait until you're in thebedroom to turn her.
You're already too late.
The craving starts long beforeyou're in the same room.
First, send her mental trigger.
Midday, send something shortand non-explicit.
For example, that look you gaveme last night that was

(04:46):
dangerous.
Or don't make plans tonight.
I've got something in mind.
If you want her thinking aboutyou all day, plant the fantasy
and let her imagination do thework.
This works because her brainfills in the blanks with her
version of the fantasy, and thefantasies we create for

(05:06):
ourselves are far more powerfulthan the ones we're given.
So step three for the blueprintfor making her crave, you before
sex is tap into her senses.
Say I keep thinking about howyou smelled last time or the way
your skin felt under my handsis driving me crazy.

(05:27):
Trigger her senses and her bodywill react before you've even
touched.
Her Sensory memory is so strongthat when you reference a smell
, a texture or even a sound, herbrain reactivates the original
memory and her body canphysically respond in real time.
So what not to do?

(05:49):
Don't send unsolicited explicitpics.
You know the ones I'm talkingabout.
They can kill anticipation.
Don't double text If shedoesn't reply right away.
It shifts you from confident toneedy, and here's why that's a
problem.
Neediness and over-persistencecreates pressure.

(06:10):
Pressure triggers the releaseof cortisol, your body's main
stress hormone, and cortisol andsexual desire do not mix well.
Elevated stress hormonesliterally block the brain's
arousal pathways.
Nothing kills craving fasterthan pressure.
Stress shuts down arousal.
Step four for the blueprint tomaking her crave you before sex

(06:35):
is make the first moments count.
The first five minutes you arewith her set the tone for
everything that happens next.
When you greet her, hold hergaze, smile slowly and pause
just for a beat before you kissher.
That half second pause beforeyou kiss her that's pure sexual

(06:58):
tension.
That pause works because itbuilds dopamine.
You're delaying gratificationjust enough to make her brain
want the reward more.
Step five to making her craveyou before sex is touch with
intention.
Guide her through a door with alight touch on her lower back.

(07:18):
Just thinking about that itmakes me squirm.
Let your fingers graze hersjust a moment longer.
When you hand her something,the lightest, most intentional
touches will make her body wantmore of you.
Those subtle touches activateher parasympathetic nervous

(07:39):
system, the part responsible forrelaxation and receptivity,
that state where arousalflourishes.
All right, now we're getting tothe good stuff.
Step six to making her crave youfor intimacy is show her you
see, her Notice and acknowledgeher choices her lipstick shade,

(08:03):
her hairstyle, her perfume.
When she feels seen beyond herbody, your desire becomes
irresistible.
This kind of attention createsan emotional connection, and
emotional connection primes thebrain to release more oxytocin,
making her more open to intimacy.
Here's what not to do.

(08:24):
Don't grab her sexually rightaway.
It's jarring and it can createtension instead of desire.
Don't talk about work, stressor bills.
It pulls her brain intoproblem-solving mode, which
suppresses arousal.
Don't greet her while staringat your phone.
It sends the message you'redistracted and unavailable.

(08:45):
Presence is one of the biggestturn-ons you have, so don't blow
it by staring at your phone.
Step seven to making her craveyou before intimacy is slow it
down before you start.
This is the moment that turnssex into I need you now.
Sit close, let your knees touchand hold her gaze.

(09:08):
If you want a little pro move,slide one of your knees in
between hers and really connect.
That is hot.
It sends shivers down my spinejust thinking about it.
The slower you go now, thehotter it gets later.
Slowing down increases contrast, so when you finally escalate,

(09:30):
the shift feels electrifying.
Step eight to the blueprint formaking her crave you before
intimacy is use the whisper,lean in and whisper in her ear.
I've been thinking about thisall day.
I want to take my time with you.
A whisper at her ear is primal.

(09:52):
It bypasses her brain and goesstraight to her body.
Whispers are intimate becausethey activate the vagus nerve,
which connects directly topleasure and relaxation
responses in the brain.
Step nine of the blueprint tomaking her crave you before
intimacy is make her close thegap.
Pull back just slightly and lether move in to kiss you.

(10:16):
Pull back just slightly and lether move in to kiss you.
When she's the one closing thedistance, she's chasing you and
craving you more.
That subtle shift puts her intopursuit mode, which ramps up
dopamine even more.
What not to do here?
Don't rush to undress her.
Don't ignore her cues and pace.
Moving too fast createsperformance pressure and again,

(10:46):
that releases cortisol whichshuts down the sexual desire.
If you ignore her pace, youbreak the spell you've just
created.
So here we are at step 10 ofthe blueprint for making her
crave you before intimacy.
Keep the energy alive betweenencounters.
People who keep women cravingthem.
Don't just turn it on for thenight.
They live it every day.

(11:06):
Look at her with the curiosityyou had when you first met.
Make her laugh before you.
Make her moan Be consistent soshe knows this is always the
experience she gets with you.
When she knows you'll bringthis energy every time, she'll

(11:26):
start craving you on site andhours before Before sex.
Buildup is a secret to sex thatshe can't stop thinking about.
Show up for the buildup andthat's why she'll want you again
and again and again when youget this right.
She's not just waiting for sex,she's replaying every moment
leading up to it in her mindover and over.
So tonight don't just show upfor the act, show up for the

(11:47):
buildup.
And when you're ready to takeit even further, watch my
episode what to Do After Sex toMake Her Crave you Even More.
So go and give this a try andthen report back and tell me how
it goes for you.
If you have questions orcomments about this episode,
please feel free to drop a notein the comment section if you're

(12:10):
on my YouTube channel atTalkSexWithAnnette, if you're an
audio listener, of course, youcan go over to my YouTube
channel and you can commentthere, or you can email me at
Annette at TalkSexWithAnnette.
If you are an audio listener,of course you can go over to my
YouTube channel and you cancomment there, or you can email
me at annette attalksexwithannettecom.
Send me your questions, yourcomments, your thoughts and, of
course, if you are looking for acheerleader, a wing woman,
someone to coach you throughyour intimate encounters or in

(12:35):
your own journey to experiencemore pleasure yourself, my books
are open.
You can find out more aboutthat at TalkSucksWithAnnettecom.
Of course you can email me, dmme.
I'd love to help you out.
Okay, listeners, until nexttime I'll see you in the locker
room.
Cheers.
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