July 14, 2025 • 15 mins
Is body shame secretly killing your sex life?
In this episode of Talk Sex with Annette, we're diving into one of the biggest (and most overlooked) blockers of desire and orgasm—body image anxiety.
If you're hiding under the covers, turning off the lights, or keeping your shirt on during sex… this episode is for you.
You’ll learn:
🔥 Why self-consciousness about your body shuts down arousal and orgasm
🔥 How to use nudity as a power move to rewire your brain for more pleasure
🔥 Step-by-step tips for building naked confidence (solo + with a partner)
🔥 The exact science behind why body shame kills libido—and how to take yours back
This is more than body positivity. This is about reclaiming desire, igniting connection, and learning to be turned on by your own damn reflection.
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My spicy OF handle is @talksexwithannette
My free spicy handle is @annettetalkssex
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Cheers!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here.
Nothing's off limits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends and, of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you, and if
(00:40):
you're new, welcome to mypodcast.
Where desire meets disruptionand pleasure becomes power.
Now let's talk about sex.
Cheers Ring loop In honor ofNational Nudity Day.
Today's Talk Sex with Annettetopic is why she's not craving
sex and how getting naked fixesit.
(01:01):
Let's get honest how much ofyour sex life is still happening
in the dark, under the covers,with your shirt on, with the
lights off, with just enoughexposure to get the job done,
but not enough to feel fullyseen?
Because for too many people,especially over 30, sex is
(01:22):
happening in survival mode, notin pleasure mode, not in worship
mode, not the kind of sex thatmakes your partner crave more or
the kind that makes you want tosay yes again.
And it's not your fault.
We've been taught to be ashamedof our bodies, to hide stretch
marks, bellies, scars, agingskin, to confuse modesty with
(01:45):
desirability and discomfort withnormal.
But today we are blowing upthat shit, because when you get
truly comfortable naked, notjust physically but emotionally,
you don't just boost yourconfidence, you rewire your
arousal, you ignite your owndesire and you make your partner
(02:06):
look at you like they can'twait to touch you again.
Here's the truth.
One of the leading reasonswomen stop wanting sex or stop
climaxing during it is bodyimage anxiety.
If you're self-conscious in thebedroom, your brain is busy
monitoring.
Instead of melting, that's aguaranteed orgasm killer.
(02:28):
So today's episode is aboutsolving that.
It's about turning nudity intoa power move, a seduction tool,
a sexual awakening, not byfaking confidence, but by
building it step by step fromthe inside out.
But before we dive in, I want toremind you that I'm over on
OnlyFans and there I'm sharingmy sex and intimacy how-tos and
(02:50):
demonstrations, along with myaudio guided self-pleasure
meditations.
They're all designed to helpyou start experiencing more
pleasure and better sex.
Tonight you can also find meover on Substack doing the same,
and you can find me in bothplaces with my handle at TalkSex
with a net.
And of course you can also findme over on Substack doing the
same, and you can find me inboth places with my handle at
TalkSex with an N.
And of course, you can alwaysscroll down to the notes section
(03:11):
below this episode and you willfind links to anywhere and
everywhere you want to connectwith me.
All right, let's dive in andtalk about how to get naked in
the sexiest way possible, cheers.
So here's why nudity is so damnhard and it's costing you great
sex.
(03:32):
Let's start with some realitychecks.
A 2012 study in the Journal ofSex Research found that body
image, not age, weight or health, is the strongest predictor of
sexual satisfaction.
In other words, if you don'tfeel sexy, you don't get sexy.
Even worse, women who feelself-conscious about their
(03:53):
bodies during sex aresignificantly more likely to
experience delayed or absentorgasm and, as a result, not
desire sex.
A study published in theArchives of Sexual Behavior
found that higher bodysurveillance aka worrying about
how you look leads to lowersexual functioning, including
(04:13):
reduced orgasm frequency andsatisfaction.
Why?
Because anxiety hijacks arousal.
The brain shifts focus fromsensation to self-monitoring.
And when your thoughts soundlike does my stomach look weird
in this position, you're notexactly riding the orgasm wave.
But good news, this can change,and it doesn't require losing
(04:36):
weight or turning into someairbrushed fantasy.
It requires retraining yourbrain and body to associate
nudity with power, safety andpleasure.
Here are some steps you can taketo do exactly that.
First, start by getting nakedwith yourself before anybody
else.
If you want to start feelingconfident naked in bed, you have
(04:58):
to start feeling safe nakedalone.
Here's how to begin.
First, try mirror time for atleast 30 seconds a day.
Stand in front of a mirrornaked, set a timer for 30
seconds, look really look andbreathe.
Now find one thing you love orwant to start loving.
(05:18):
This practice is supported bymirror exposure therapy, which
has been shown to increaseself-acceptance and reduce
avoidant-based sexual behaviors.
It's even used to treat bodydysmorphic disorder and low
sexual desire stemming from bodyimage issues.
Start slow, start kind, startnaked.
(05:41):
Second, you are going to touchyourself while looking.
I know this sounds scary, but Ipromise it's worth it.
So you're going to take itfurther.
You're going to touch yourselfwhile looking in the mirror.
This combines visual exposurewith essential self-touch
rewiring your body-brain loop toassociate being seen with being
(06:06):
turned on.
This can start with somethingas simple as being naked and
running your fingers along yourcollarbone, your chest, your
breasts, your stomach, yourthighs.
Work your way up to the genitaltouching in front of the mirror
, but only do it as your nervoussystem allows.
(06:27):
The minute those negativethoughts kick in, take a break,
step away or back off, or awayfrom your more intimate areas.
So number three is masturbatingfully naked.
Try masturbating on top of thesheets, try sitting up.
Look at your body while you'restimulating it.
One study from the Journal ofSex and Marital Therapy found
(06:50):
that self-focused attention andbody anxiety during solo sex
negatively impacts arousal andclimax.
So let's flip the script.
This isn't about performance.
It's about reclaiming yourreflection as a turn-on, not a
trigger.
So what if your partner isself-conscious?
(07:13):
You've done the solo work,you're starting to feel the
shift, but maybe your partner isstill hiding under the blankets
.
Here's how to gently invite themout, without pressure or shame.
Number one lead by example.
Confidence is contagious.
When you walk into a room naked, smiling and fully in your skin
(07:34):
, you create an atmosphere ofpermission.
Try saying can I show yousomething I've been working on?
Then undress slowly like it's agift.
Let them watch you own yourbody.
A study in the Journal ofSocial and Personal Relationship
shows that vulnerability andnonverbal self-disclosure, like
(07:55):
undressing with confidence, candeepen emotional and erotic
bonds between partners.
Second compliment theirnakedness.
Don't just say you look great,say your naked body turns me on,
or seeing you like this makesme want to devour you, or
(08:16):
comment on a specific body partthat you just adore.
Specific erotic praise helpsreassure and arouse at the same
time.
According to research in sexroles, affirmations that focus
on erotic appeal, rather thanappearance-based judgment, have
the most powerful impact onsexual confidence.
(08:38):
Third, create a clothingtransition plan.
This is where it gets practicaland hot.
Instead of going from hoodiesto full frontal, make it a slow
burn.
Week one panties and oversizedtee.
Week two lingerie and lowlighting.
Week three naked under a robe,then let it accidentally slip.
(09:02):
Week four fully nude foreplay.
You can take this step by step.
You don't have to go from fullyclothed in the dark sex to
fully naked, bright lights on.
Make it sexy, take it at yourown pace, own the pleasure that
comes along with it, buildanticipation, build safety and
(09:27):
build confidence.
All right, now it's time tobring it into bed and let it
revolutionize your sex life.
Now you're ready to turn nudityinto foreplay.
Start by using your body as avisual tease.
Don't underestimate the powerof simply being seen.
A study in the InternationalJournal of Impotence Research
(09:48):
found that visual sexual stimuli, especially real life, not
pornographic create higherarousal levels in men and women
than scripted roleplay, fantasyalone.
Translation seeing your realnaked body in action is hotter
than any roleplay you've everhalf committed to.
(10:09):
Next, try a no-touch role fortwo minutes.
Strip, stand in front of yourpartner, let them look.
Strip, stand in front of yourpartner, let them look.
No touching, just tension, thaterotic anticipation.
It lights up the brain's rewardcenter and makes the eventual
contact even more explosive.
(10:30):
Kick things up a notch and usenakedness as a form of dominance
and or vulnerability.
A form of dominance and orvulnerability.
Naked doesn't always meansubmissive.
Keep your heels on, climb ontop, run the show or lie back
fully nude, eyes closed, and saytake your time, I'm all yours.
(10:51):
Power isn't in the clothing,it's in the intentional exposure
You're choosing to be seen.
That choice is fucking hot.
Here is a real sex life tip.
We're going to talk about theshirt on problem.
Let's talk about real worldmood killers, sex with a shirt
on, especially when it's abouthiding, not preference.
It kills connection.
(11:12):
Why?
Because what's communicatedwithout a word is Don't look too
closely.
I'm not proud of this.
I don't want to be seen.
Compare that to when someonewalks across the room fully
naked, owning every curve anddimple, and then says you're
welcome.
Passion needs presence andpresence needs permission to be
(11:39):
seen.
So here is your National NudityDay Challenge and a challenge
for every other day of the year.
Get naked on purpose, not tochange, not to shower, to feel,
to be seen, to be powerful inyour own damn skin.
Start solo, then bring it intobed and then help your partner
(12:03):
do the same, because naked isn'tjust a state of undressed, it's
a state of mind.
And when you can show upunapologetically naked, clothes
off, shame off, power on you,don't just turn your partner on.
You.
Transform the entirerelationship to desire pleasure
and orgasm.
You and your partner will wantmore and more and more.
(12:27):
So do me a favor.
If you have ever struggled withgetting naked, especially in
front of a partner in a sexysituation, or just with your
nudity during sex, and had itdisrupt your pleasure, I want
you to comment naked below thisvideo.
If you're on my YouTube channel, I want you to drop the word
naked in the comment section sopeople can see how common this
(12:51):
problem really is.
If you're an audio listener,you can get in on the fun and
join the community interactionover on my YouTube channel at
TalkSexWithAnette, and then,when you try some of these tips,
I want you to come back andtell me how they worked for you
and if you have any tips tocontribute, I would love to hear
them.
And, on that note, if you arelooking for some support in your
(13:13):
intimate life, if you need awing woman, a cheerleader or a
intimacy coach, my sex andintimacy coaching books are open
and you can find out more aboutthat at TalkSexWithAnnettecom,
or you can email me at Annetteat TalkSexWithAnnettecom.
You can always scroll down tothe notes section of this
podcast and you can click on myspeak pipe link and there you
(13:36):
can send me a voice note and Iwill do the best that I can to
get back to you and answer yourquestions or to link up with you
and do some coaching.
So until next time, everybodyget naked.
It is a national nudity day, atleast for today, but hey, you
should get naked every day andlove what you see.
You deserve it.
(13:57):
Until next time, I'll see youin the locker room.
Cheers.
Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here.
Nothing's off limits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends and, of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you, and if
(00:40):
you're new, welcome to mypodcast.
Where desire meets disruptionand pleasure becomes power.
Now let's talk about sex.
Cheers Ring loop In honor ofNational Nudity Day.
Today's Talk Sex with Annettetopic is why she's not craving
sex and how getting naked fixesit.
(01:01):
Let's get honest how much ofyour sex life is still happening
in the dark, under the covers,with your shirt on, with the
lights off, with just enoughexposure to get the job done,
but not enough to feel fullyseen?
Because for too many people,especially over 30, sex is
(01:22):
happening in survival mode, notin pleasure mode, not in worship
mode, not the kind of sex thatmakes your partner crave more or
the kind that makes you want tosay yes again.
And it's not your fault.
We've been taught to be ashamedof our bodies, to hide stretch
marks, bellies, scars, agingskin, to confuse modesty with
(01:45):
desirability and discomfort withnormal.
But today we are blowing upthat shit, because when you get
truly comfortable naked, notjust physically but emotionally,
you don't just boost yourconfidence, you rewire your
arousal, you ignite your owndesire and you make your partner
(02:06):
look at you like they can'twait to touch you again.
Here's the truth.
One of the leading reasonswomen stop wanting sex or stop
climaxing during it is bodyimage anxiety.
If you're self-conscious in thebedroom, your brain is busy
monitoring.
Instead of melting, that's aguaranteed orgasm killer.
(02:28):
So today's episode is aboutsolving that.
It's about turning nudity intoa power move, a seduction tool,
a sexual awakening, not byfaking confidence, but by
building it step by step fromthe inside out.
But before we dive in, I want toremind you that I'm over on
OnlyFans and there I'm sharingmy sex and intimacy how-tos and
(02:50):
demonstrations, along with myaudio guided self-pleasure
meditations.
They're all designed to helpyou start experiencing more
pleasure and better sex.
Tonight you can also find meover on Substack doing the same,
and you can find me in bothplaces with my handle at TalkSex
with a net.
And of course you can also findme over on Substack doing the
same, and you can find me inboth places with my handle at
TalkSex with an N.
And of course, you can alwaysscroll down to the notes section
(03:11):
below this episode and you willfind links to anywhere and
everywhere you want to connectwith me.
All right, let's dive in andtalk about how to get naked in
the sexiest way possible, cheers.
So here's why nudity is so damnhard and it's costing you great
sex.
(03:32):
Let's start with some realitychecks.
A 2012 study in the Journal ofSex Research found that body
image, not age, weight or health, is the strongest predictor of
sexual satisfaction.
In other words, if you don'tfeel sexy, you don't get sexy.
Even worse, women who feelself-conscious about their
(03:53):
bodies during sex aresignificantly more likely to
experience delayed or absentorgasm and, as a result, not
desire sex.
A study published in theArchives of Sexual Behavior
found that higher bodysurveillance aka worrying about
how you look leads to lowersexual functioning, including
(04:13):
reduced orgasm frequency andsatisfaction.
Why?
Because anxiety hijacks arousal.
The brain shifts focus fromsensation to self-monitoring.
And when your thoughts soundlike does my stomach look weird
in this position, you're notexactly riding the orgasm wave.
But good news, this can change,and it doesn't require losing
(04:36):
weight or turning into someairbrushed fantasy.
It requires retraining yourbrain and body to associate
nudity with power, safety andpleasure.
Here are some steps you can taketo do exactly that.
First, start by getting nakedwith yourself before anybody
else.
If you want to start feelingconfident naked in bed, you have
(04:58):
to start feeling safe nakedalone.
Here's how to begin.
First, try mirror time for atleast 30 seconds a day.
Stand in front of a mirrornaked, set a timer for 30
seconds, look really look andbreathe.
Now find one thing you love orwant to start loving.
(05:18):
This practice is supported bymirror exposure therapy, which
has been shown to increaseself-acceptance and reduce
avoidant-based sexual behaviors.
It's even used to treat bodydysmorphic disorder and low
sexual desire stemming from bodyimage issues.
Start slow, start kind, startnaked.
(05:41):
Second, you are going to touchyourself while looking.
I know this sounds scary, but Ipromise it's worth it.
So you're going to take itfurther.
You're going to touch yourselfwhile looking in the mirror.
This combines visual exposurewith essential self-touch
rewiring your body-brain loop toassociate being seen with being
(06:06):
turned on.
This can start with somethingas simple as being naked and
running your fingers along yourcollarbone, your chest, your
breasts, your stomach, yourthighs.
Work your way up to the genitaltouching in front of the mirror
, but only do it as your nervoussystem allows.
(06:27):
The minute those negativethoughts kick in, take a break,
step away or back off, or awayfrom your more intimate areas.
So number three is masturbatingfully naked.
Try masturbating on top of thesheets, try sitting up.
Look at your body while you'restimulating it.
One study from the Journal ofSex and Marital Therapy found
(06:50):
that self-focused attention andbody anxiety during solo sex
negatively impacts arousal andclimax.
So let's flip the script.
This isn't about performance.
It's about reclaiming yourreflection as a turn-on, not a
trigger.
So what if your partner isself-conscious?
(07:13):
You've done the solo work,you're starting to feel the
shift, but maybe your partner isstill hiding under the blankets
.
Here's how to gently invite themout, without pressure or shame.
Number one lead by example.
Confidence is contagious.
When you walk into a room naked, smiling and fully in your skin
(07:34):
, you create an atmosphere ofpermission.
Try saying can I show yousomething I've been working on?
Then undress slowly like it's agift.
Let them watch you own yourbody.
A study in the Journal ofSocial and Personal Relationship
shows that vulnerability andnonverbal self-disclosure, like
(07:55):
undressing with confidence, candeepen emotional and erotic
bonds between partners.
Second compliment theirnakedness.
Don't just say you look great,say your naked body turns me on,
or seeing you like this makesme want to devour you, or
(08:16):
comment on a specific body partthat you just adore.
Specific erotic praise helpsreassure and arouse at the same
time.
According to research in sexroles, affirmations that focus
on erotic appeal, rather thanappearance-based judgment, have
the most powerful impact onsexual confidence.
(08:38):
Third, create a clothingtransition plan.
This is where it gets practicaland hot.
Instead of going from hoodiesto full frontal, make it a slow
burn.
Week one panties and oversizedtee.
Week two lingerie and lowlighting.
Week three naked under a robe,then let it accidentally slip.
(09:02):
Week four fully nude foreplay.
You can take this step by step.
You don't have to go from fullyclothed in the dark sex to
fully naked, bright lights on.
Make it sexy, take it at yourown pace, own the pleasure that
comes along with it, buildanticipation, build safety and
(09:27):
build confidence.
All right, now it's time tobring it into bed and let it
revolutionize your sex life.
Now you're ready to turn nudityinto foreplay.
Start by using your body as avisual tease.
Don't underestimate the powerof simply being seen.
A study in the InternationalJournal of Impotence Research
(09:48):
found that visual sexual stimuli, especially real life, not
pornographic create higherarousal levels in men and women
than scripted roleplay, fantasyalone.
Translation seeing your realnaked body in action is hotter
than any roleplay you've everhalf committed to.
(10:09):
Next, try a no-touch role fortwo minutes.
Strip, stand in front of yourpartner, let them look.
Strip, stand in front of yourpartner, let them look.
No touching, just tension, thaterotic anticipation.
It lights up the brain's rewardcenter and makes the eventual
contact even more explosive.
(10:30):
Kick things up a notch and usenakedness as a form of dominance
and or vulnerability.
A form of dominance and orvulnerability.
Naked doesn't always meansubmissive.
Keep your heels on, climb ontop, run the show or lie back
fully nude, eyes closed, and saytake your time, I'm all yours.
(10:51):
Power isn't in the clothing,it's in the intentional exposure
You're choosing to be seen.
That choice is fucking hot.
Here is a real sex life tip.
We're going to talk about theshirt on problem.
Let's talk about real worldmood killers, sex with a shirt
on, especially when it's abouthiding, not preference.
It kills connection.
(11:12):
Why?
Because what's communicatedwithout a word is Don't look too
closely.
I'm not proud of this.
I don't want to be seen.
Compare that to when someonewalks across the room fully
naked, owning every curve anddimple, and then says you're
welcome.
Passion needs presence andpresence needs permission to be
(11:39):
seen.
So here is your National NudityDay Challenge and a challenge
for every other day of the year.
Get naked on purpose, not tochange, not to shower, to feel,
to be seen, to be powerful inyour own damn skin.
Start solo, then bring it intobed and then help your partner
(12:03):
do the same, because naked isn'tjust a state of undressed, it's
a state of mind.
And when you can show upunapologetically naked, clothes
off, shame off, power on you,don't just turn your partner on.
You.
Transform the entirerelationship to desire pleasure
and orgasm.
You and your partner will wantmore and more and more.
(12:27):
So do me a favor.
If you have ever struggled withgetting naked, especially in
front of a partner in a sexysituation, or just with your
nudity during sex, and had itdisrupt your pleasure, I want
you to comment naked below thisvideo.
If you're on my YouTube channel, I want you to drop the word
naked in the comment section sopeople can see how common this
(12:51):
problem really is.
If you're an audio listener,you can get in on the fun and
join the community interactionover on my YouTube channel at
TalkSexWithAnette, and then,when you try some of these tips,
I want you to come back andtell me how they worked for you
and if you have any tips tocontribute, I would love to hear
them.
And, on that note, if you arelooking for some support in your
(13:13):
intimate life, if you need awing woman, a cheerleader or a
intimacy coach, my sex andintimacy coaching books are open
and you can find out more aboutthat at TalkSexWithAnnettecom,
or you can email me at Annetteat TalkSexWithAnnettecom.
You can always scroll down tothe notes section of this
podcast and you can click on myspeak pipe link and there you
(13:36):
can send me a voice note and Iwill do the best that I can to
get back to you and answer yourquestions or to link up with you
and do some coaching.
So until next time, everybodyget naked.
It is a national nudity day, atleast for today, but hey, you
should get naked every day andlove what you see.
You deserve it.
(13:57):
Until next time, I'll see youin the locker room.
Cheers.
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