June 24, 2025 • 17 mins
We’ve been taught that power is all about being on top. But I’m here to show you why missionary—yes, missionary—is a secret dom move when you know how to work it. This episode is all about owning the position we were told to just lie there in. Because power? It’s not about where your body is. It’s about your intention.
You’ll learn:
• How to control the angle, rhythm, and pace from below
• Verbal cues that act like erotic commands
• Why eye contact, moaning, and breathwork are your stealth power tools
• Six step-by-step moves to take charge while lying on your back
• Plus a bonus on “submission as domination in disguise”
And yes—this is science-backed and pleasure-forward.
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My spicy OF handle is @talksexwithannette
My free spicy handle is @annettetalkssex
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Cheers!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here.
Nothing's off limits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends and, of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome tomy podcast.
(00:42):
Where desire meets disruptionand pleasure becomes power.
Now let's talk about sex Cheers.
Today's Talk Sex with Annette.
Topic is how to fuck from thebottom and still dominate them
in whatever dynamic you choosedynamic you choose.
(01:07):
In this episode, I'm flipping atired cliche on its back,
literally, and helping youreclaim the position we were
taught to just lie there in,because dominance and submission
, well, that's not about whereyour body is, it's a mindset.
Today we are rewriting therules on one of the most
underrated and most misjudgedsex positions out there
Missionary.
Now, before you roll your eyesat the position blamed for
(01:28):
everything from dead fish sex tomen just mounting and pumping
away, stay with me because I'mabout to show you how missionary
can become a true powerposition, one that invites
playful kink, deeper emotionalconnection and more intense
pleasure than you thoughtpossible.
Yes, you can fuck like agoddess and run the whole damn
(01:50):
show while lying flat on yourback, and when you do it right,
you'll blow their mind andremind them exactly who's in
charge.
But before we dive in, let meremind you that I'm over on
OnlyFans and there I'm sharingmy intimacy, how-tos, my audio
guided self-pleasure,meditations and so much more all
designed to help you starthaving better sex tonight and
(02:13):
more pleasure than you everthought you could.
I'm also over on Substack doinga whole lot of the same, and
you can find me in both placeswith my handle at
TalkSexWithAnette.
You can also scroll down to thenotes in this podcast episode
and you're going to find linksto everywhere you can find me
that you'd want to find me.
(02:33):
But for now, let's dive in tomissionary and how it can be a
position that lets you dominatethem in ways they never thought
possible Cheers.
So let's start with whymissionary is a sleeper dom move
.
We've been taught to associatepower with being on top, but
here's what I want you tounderstand Control isn't about
(02:54):
movement, it's about intention.
Being on the bottom doesn'tmean giving it power.
It means you can take itsilently, sensually and with
devastating precision, becausewhen you're beneath them, you're
not just receiving, you'rerecalibrating the entire
experience.
You get to slow things down,shift angles, drag out their
(03:16):
orgasm and keep them guessing,and while they think they're
calling the shots, you're theone setting the rules with your
hips, with your voice, with yourgaze, with your grip.
Studies from the Journal ofSexual Marital Therapy show that
the most satisfying sex happenswhen partners are attuned
physically and emotionally,responding to each other in real
(03:38):
time, and when you're on thebottom, fully aware, fully
present and guiding the rhythmwith your body.
Fully aware, fully present andguiding the rhythm with your
body.
That's not passive, that'spower.
So let's break down six waysyou can take control from below
and leave them wondering howmissionary went from meth to
mind-blowing.
Number one let's start with apower tilt.
Control the angle, control them.
(04:00):
So, starting with your pelvis,most of us are taught to lay
flat and let our partner thrust,but the real power move is in
the tilt of the pelvis.
Tilt your pelvis slightly up.
I want you to imagine this as aslow offering, not a surrender.
Tilt up and subtly grind, not alot, just enough, so that
(04:20):
you're the one guiding the depthand angle.
So why does this work?
Because this little tilt doesthree things.
One it pulls his shaft or dildoagainst your G-spot.
Number two it presses your clitinto your partner's pubic bone
Hello, external clitoralstimulation.
(04:40):
And, most importantly, itforces them to adjust to you.
They can't just keepjackhammering when you change
the rhythm.
And look science facts this up.
Studies show that women whoadjust their own pelvic movement
during penetration are morelikely to reach orgasm.
You're engaging the exact nerveendings that respond to
(05:02):
pressure and rhythm, not fastfriction.
This is how you quietly takecontrol.
They think they're leading, butthey're just following your
grind.
Number two is eye contact pluseye candy.
I'm talking about the gaze thatgoverns them.
I want to talk about what Ipersonally love best about being
on bottom.
(05:22):
It's the view.
Seriously, from below you getthe best seat in the house.
You can take in every inch oftheir body, their chest, their
arms, the way their abs tighten,the flush rising up the neck
and, best of all, you get towatch as their face changes when
they realize you're not justbeneath them, you're in control,
and you're fucking them like a.
You're in control and you'refucking them like a goddess or a
(05:44):
pleasure dom, whichever one youprefer.
And research shows that eyecontact during sex increases
dopamine and oxytocin, both ofwhich make the experience feel
deeper, more emotional and moreunforgettable.
So don't close your eyes anddisappear.
Keep them wide open, stay inthe moment, take it all in and
(06:04):
allow yourself to enjoy and feelthe visual stimulation.
When you stay connected, witheyes locked and moan with
purpose and greedy want, it letsthem know you're not just
present, you're the oneconducting the entire scene.
Number three is the wraparoundgrip, aka the lockdown,
depending on how strong yourlegs are.
(06:27):
We're going to get your legs inthe game here.
You're going to wrap them higharound his waist or cross them
behind his lower back and pullhim in.
Your legs aren't justaccessories, they're anchors.
When you tighten around him,you're not clinging, you're
(06:50):
containing.
You control depth, you controlthrust, you dictate if he's
going to be shallow or deep,slow or not at all.
If you want to tease him, pullhim in, hold him tight, then
stop all motion.
Let him feel the tension andthen whisper.
Stay right there, don't moveuntil I say this is where
domination becomes physical andpsychological.
You're using your body like arope and he's tied to your pace.
(07:13):
And, by the way, this kind ofcontrol creates internal
friction that lights up theanterior vaginal wall, meaning
more stimulation for you andmore heat for him.
Bonus move use your feet, slidethem down his back, press the
soles against his thighs or hiscalves, depending on your
(07:35):
heights and how your bodies cometogether.
This allows you to anchor himand choose the tilt of your hips
that works for you or driveshim while, or if your legs are
around his shoulders, you canuse your feet to cup and pull
him deeper, or press against hischest to push him away.
Play with placement and control.
(07:55):
The arch of your foot issurprisingly central, especially
when you press it against hisskin and hold him there.
The psychology of that footpressure.
It adds just a little touch ofkink, a silent reminder that
even your toes are involved inthe game and you are using every
inch of your body to guide,contain and control them.
(08:19):
So number four is verbal control, Using your voice as a leash.
Now, this one is crucial.
You're going to need to talk toyour partner, whisper, command,
tease, guide, but don't besilent, because from the bottom,
your voice carries a differentkind of power.
When they hear you take control, especially from a position
(08:39):
that looks submissive, it flipsa switch.
Try this, say slower, I want tofeel every inch, or no, stop
right there, stay still, or youdon't get to come.
Yet I'm not done using you.
It's unexpected, it's sexy andit sends a clear message this is
(09:02):
your body and you're lucky tobe in it.
Science backs this too.
Verbal feedback heightensarousal in both partners and
increases orgasm success rates.
So don't just think it, say itand say it like you mean it.
Now this can take practice.
I've gone over dirty talk againand again and again it takes
(09:26):
practice.
I have a whole podcast episodeon that.
I'll make sure to link it belowso that you can get some great
tips, not only for myself, butalso a kink expert, and once you
watch that, you'll be dirtytalking like a pro.
Number five is the edging trap.
It's kind of like seductivetorture If you want to really
(09:47):
dominate them from below, edgethem.
You're watching their body,you're tuned in to their rhythm
and just when they get close,grip them tighter, tilt your
pelvis, look them dead in theeye and say not yet.
Then grind slow, soft,controlled, pull them into you,
(10:07):
only to pause and watch themsquirm.
From this position, edgingbecomes a mind game.
You can control their pleasure,you stretch out their orgasm
until it's completely yours, andwhen they do finally come,
they'll never forget how you didit.
Number six is another one of myfavorites.
It's the click command.
They get to watch, wait andobey.
(10:30):
This one is simple, sexy andincredibly effective.
While they're inside of you,especially in missionary, you
have full access to yourexternal clip, and that means
one thing you get to show themexactly how you come.
Slide your hand down, grab atoy, or even just circle your
(10:50):
hips and say don't come, notuntil I do.
Watch me.
Then touch yourself, move theirhips the way you need them to
verbalize what you need them todo, what rhythm you want, and
use your free hand or yourthighs to keep them in lockstep
(11:14):
with your building climax.
Make them stay right there.
The intensity of this is off thecharts for both of you, and
here's why it works.
Visually, watching you bringyourself to orgasm is wildly
arousing.
Men in particular are wired torespond to visual sexual cues,
(11:37):
and when that cue is, youwrithing underneath them,
touching yourself, eyes locked,using their body with pleasure
for yourself.
That's next level heat.
Second, it can be really hot tobe watched while you're getting
off.
You are the object of desire.
(11:59):
You are turning them on.
You are the show and it ismaking them go crazy.
So if you like to be watched,this is the power move in
missionary position.
Number three psychologicallyflips the whole script.
He is used to being the oneperforming right Remember that
(12:23):
eye candy that I mentionedbefore.
Now he's the one being used foryour orgasm and finally,
biologically, your orgasm.
And finally, biologically,stimulating your clit during
penetration increases blood flow, orgasm intensity and your
chance of having that beautifulblended orgasm, one that
activates both internal andexternal nerve endings.
(12:47):
When you come first to make himwait, watch and match your pace
, you establish total eroticdominance without ever raising
your voice.
And when you finally say andmatch your pace, you establish
total erotic dominance withoutever raising your voice.
And when you finally say, nowyou can come, you're not just
giving him permission, you'regiving him the performance of a
lifetime and the orgasm of yours.
Before I wrap this up, I'mgoing to give you a little bonus
(13:08):
tip.
I think it's super hot and ifyou are someone who likes to be
a little subby, you're going tolove it too.
This is when submission isdominance in disguise, because,
let's get real, sometimes beingsubmissive feels sexy as fuck,
even when we don't really wantto give up control.
That's right.
Sometimes the most powerfulthing you can do is choose to
(13:31):
submit.
This isn't passive.
This is you slipping into asubmissive role with full
awareness and still holding thereins.
You're not being dominated.
You're performing submission asa way to control the scene from
a different angle.
So try this.
Tell them tonight I want to beyours, but don't tell them
(13:53):
they're still going to befollowing your rules.
That line alone tells themeverything they need to know.
Remember this is your game.
So let your body soften, letthem think they're leading, but
stay fully present.
Use your breath, your moans,your expressions to guide them.
Respond, but deliberately.
(14:15):
Arch into their touch, but onlywhen you want to Whimper.
When it serves the moon,maintain eye contact like it's
command.
This is conscious submission,it's control through surrender,
it's kink, it's dominance andit's the kind of power that
doesn't need to shout becauseit's felt.
(14:37):
So here's your mission the nexttime you're underneath your
partner, don't just be there.
Dominate from the bottom, tiltyour hips, lock your legs, speak
your needs, hold their gaze andsay you're mine until I say
otherwise.
This isn't about flippingpositions.
This is about flipping thescript, because sometimes the
person on the bottom is the onepulling all the strings.
(15:00):
Give it a try and tell me howit goes.
You can do that by going to myYouTube channel.
If you're just a listener, youcan find me there at
TalkSexWithAnette, and you candrop your comment, your thought,
your question, in the commentsection below the video.
You can also email me atAnnette at TalkSexWithAnnettecom
.
And remember, if you are onyour own pleasure journey,
(15:21):
whether with a partner or simplyin reclamation of your own
sensual power, and you'relooking for a sidekick, a wing
woman, a cheerleader, if youwill, my sex and intimacy
coaching books are open and youcan find out more about that by
going to my website it'stalksexwithanettecom, or you can
email me at annette attalksexwithanettecom.
(15:43):
So get out there, get on yourback and own your pleasure.
Let me know how it goes, let meknow what you think about this
video and if it's helped you atall, reclaim a position that has
really gotten a bad rep overthe years.
And until next time I'll seeyou guys in the locker room.
(16:03):
Cheers.
Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here.
Nothing's off limits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends and, of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome tomy podcast.
(00:42):
Where desire meets disruptionand pleasure becomes power.
Now let's talk about sex Cheers.
Today's Talk Sex with Annette.
Topic is how to fuck from thebottom and still dominate them
in whatever dynamic you choosedynamic you choose.
(01:07):
In this episode, I'm flipping atired cliche on its back,
literally, and helping youreclaim the position we were
taught to just lie there in,because dominance and submission
, well, that's not about whereyour body is, it's a mindset.
Today we are rewriting therules on one of the most
underrated and most misjudgedsex positions out there
Missionary.
Now, before you roll your eyesat the position blamed for
(01:28):
everything from dead fish sex tomen just mounting and pumping
away, stay with me because I'mabout to show you how missionary
can become a true powerposition, one that invites
playful kink, deeper emotionalconnection and more intense
pleasure than you thoughtpossible.
Yes, you can fuck like agoddess and run the whole damn
(01:50):
show while lying flat on yourback, and when you do it right,
you'll blow their mind andremind them exactly who's in
charge.
But before we dive in, let meremind you that I'm over on
OnlyFans and there I'm sharingmy intimacy, how-tos, my audio
guided self-pleasure,meditations and so much more all
designed to help you starthaving better sex tonight and
(02:13):
more pleasure than you everthought you could.
I'm also over on Substack doinga whole lot of the same, and
you can find me in both placeswith my handle at
TalkSexWithAnette.
You can also scroll down to thenotes in this podcast episode
and you're going to find linksto everywhere you can find me
that you'd want to find me.
(02:33):
But for now, let's dive in tomissionary and how it can be a
position that lets you dominatethem in ways they never thought
possible Cheers.
So let's start with whymissionary is a sleeper dom move
.
We've been taught to associatepower with being on top, but
here's what I want you tounderstand Control isn't about
(02:54):
movement, it's about intention.
Being on the bottom doesn'tmean giving it power.
It means you can take itsilently, sensually and with
devastating precision, becausewhen you're beneath them, you're
not just receiving, you'rerecalibrating the entire
experience.
You get to slow things down,shift angles, drag out their
(03:16):
orgasm and keep them guessing,and while they think they're
calling the shots, you're theone setting the rules with your
hips, with your voice, with yourgaze, with your grip.
Studies from the Journal ofSexual Marital Therapy show that
the most satisfying sex happenswhen partners are attuned
physically and emotionally,responding to each other in real
(03:38):
time, and when you're on thebottom, fully aware, fully
present and guiding the rhythmwith your body.
Fully aware, fully present andguiding the rhythm with your
body.
That's not passive, that'spower.
So let's break down six waysyou can take control from below
and leave them wondering howmissionary went from meth to
mind-blowing.
Number one let's start with apower tilt.
Control the angle, control them.
(04:00):
So, starting with your pelvis,most of us are taught to lay
flat and let our partner thrust,but the real power move is in
the tilt of the pelvis.
Tilt your pelvis slightly up.
I want you to imagine this as aslow offering, not a surrender.
Tilt up and subtly grind, not alot, just enough, so that
(04:20):
you're the one guiding the depthand angle.
So why does this work?
Because this little tilt doesthree things.
One it pulls his shaft or dildoagainst your G-spot.
Number two it presses your clitinto your partner's pubic bone
Hello, external clitoralstimulation.
(04:40):
And, most importantly, itforces them to adjust to you.
They can't just keepjackhammering when you change
the rhythm.
And look science facts this up.
Studies show that women whoadjust their own pelvic movement
during penetration are morelikely to reach orgasm.
You're engaging the exact nerveendings that respond to
(05:02):
pressure and rhythm, not fastfriction.
This is how you quietly takecontrol.
They think they're leading, butthey're just following your
grind.
Number two is eye contact pluseye candy.
I'm talking about the gaze thatgoverns them.
I want to talk about what Ipersonally love best about being
on bottom.
(05:22):
It's the view.
Seriously, from below you getthe best seat in the house.
You can take in every inch oftheir body, their chest, their
arms, the way their abs tighten,the flush rising up the neck
and, best of all, you get towatch as their face changes when
they realize you're not justbeneath them, you're in control,
and you're fucking them like a.
You're in control and you'refucking them like a goddess or a
(05:44):
pleasure dom, whichever one youprefer.
And research shows that eyecontact during sex increases
dopamine and oxytocin, both ofwhich make the experience feel
deeper, more emotional and moreunforgettable.
So don't close your eyes anddisappear.
Keep them wide open, stay inthe moment, take it all in and
(06:04):
allow yourself to enjoy and feelthe visual stimulation.
When you stay connected, witheyes locked and moan with
purpose and greedy want, it letsthem know you're not just
present, you're the oneconducting the entire scene.
Number three is the wraparoundgrip, aka the lockdown,
depending on how strong yourlegs are.
(06:27):
We're going to get your legs inthe game here.
You're going to wrap them higharound his waist or cross them
behind his lower back and pullhim in.
Your legs aren't justaccessories, they're anchors.
When you tighten around him,you're not clinging, you're
(06:50):
containing.
You control depth, you controlthrust, you dictate if he's
going to be shallow or deep,slow or not at all.
If you want to tease him, pullhim in, hold him tight, then
stop all motion.
Let him feel the tension andthen whisper.
Stay right there, don't moveuntil I say this is where
domination becomes physical andpsychological.
You're using your body like arope and he's tied to your pace.
(07:13):
And, by the way, this kind ofcontrol creates internal
friction that lights up theanterior vaginal wall, meaning
more stimulation for you andmore heat for him.
Bonus move use your feet, slidethem down his back, press the
soles against his thighs or hiscalves, depending on your
(07:35):
heights and how your bodies cometogether.
This allows you to anchor himand choose the tilt of your hips
that works for you or driveshim while, or if your legs are
around his shoulders, you canuse your feet to cup and pull
him deeper, or press against hischest to push him away.
Play with placement and control.
(07:55):
The arch of your foot issurprisingly central, especially
when you press it against hisskin and hold him there.
The psychology of that footpressure.
It adds just a little touch ofkink, a silent reminder that
even your toes are involved inthe game and you are using every
inch of your body to guide,contain and control them.
(08:19):
So number four is verbal control, Using your voice as a leash.
Now, this one is crucial.
You're going to need to talk toyour partner, whisper, command,
tease, guide, but don't besilent, because from the bottom,
your voice carries a differentkind of power.
When they hear you take control, especially from a position
(08:39):
that looks submissive, it flipsa switch.
Try this, say slower, I want tofeel every inch, or no, stop
right there, stay still, or youdon't get to come.
Yet I'm not done using you.
It's unexpected, it's sexy andit sends a clear message this is
(09:02):
your body and you're lucky tobe in it.
Science backs this too.
Verbal feedback heightensarousal in both partners and
increases orgasm success rates.
So don't just think it, say itand say it like you mean it.
Now this can take practice.
I've gone over dirty talk againand again and again it takes
(09:26):
practice.
I have a whole podcast episodeon that.
I'll make sure to link it belowso that you can get some great
tips, not only for myself, butalso a kink expert, and once you
watch that, you'll be dirtytalking like a pro.
Number five is the edging trap.
It's kind of like seductivetorture If you want to really
(09:47):
dominate them from below, edgethem.
You're watching their body,you're tuned in to their rhythm
and just when they get close,grip them tighter, tilt your
pelvis, look them dead in theeye and say not yet.
Then grind slow, soft,controlled, pull them into you,
(10:07):
only to pause and watch themsquirm.
From this position, edgingbecomes a mind game.
You can control their pleasure,you stretch out their orgasm
until it's completely yours, andwhen they do finally come,
they'll never forget how you didit.
Number six is another one of myfavorites.
It's the click command.
They get to watch, wait andobey.
(10:30):
This one is simple, sexy andincredibly effective.
While they're inside of you,especially in missionary, you
have full access to yourexternal clip, and that means
one thing you get to show themexactly how you come.
Slide your hand down, grab atoy, or even just circle your
(10:50):
hips and say don't come, notuntil I do.
Watch me.
Then touch yourself, move theirhips the way you need them to
verbalize what you need them todo, what rhythm you want, and
use your free hand or yourthighs to keep them in lockstep
(11:14):
with your building climax.
Make them stay right there.
The intensity of this is off thecharts for both of you, and
here's why it works.
Visually, watching you bringyourself to orgasm is wildly
arousing.
Men in particular are wired torespond to visual sexual cues,
(11:37):
and when that cue is, youwrithing underneath them,
touching yourself, eyes locked,using their body with pleasure
for yourself.
That's next level heat.
Second, it can be really hot tobe watched while you're getting
off.
You are the object of desire.
(11:59):
You are turning them on.
You are the show and it ismaking them go crazy.
So if you like to be watched,this is the power move in
missionary position.
Number three psychologicallyflips the whole script.
He is used to being the oneperforming right Remember that
(12:23):
eye candy that I mentionedbefore.
Now he's the one being used foryour orgasm and finally,
biologically, your orgasm.
And finally, biologically,stimulating your clit during
penetration increases blood flow, orgasm intensity and your
chance of having that beautifulblended orgasm, one that
activates both internal andexternal nerve endings.
(12:47):
When you come first to make himwait, watch and match your pace
, you establish total eroticdominance without ever raising
your voice.
And when you finally say andmatch your pace, you establish
total erotic dominance withoutever raising your voice.
And when you finally say, nowyou can come, you're not just
giving him permission, you'regiving him the performance of a
lifetime and the orgasm of yours.
Before I wrap this up, I'mgoing to give you a little bonus
(13:08):
tip.
I think it's super hot and ifyou are someone who likes to be
a little subby, you're going tolove it too.
This is when submission isdominance in disguise, because,
let's get real, sometimes beingsubmissive feels sexy as fuck,
even when we don't really wantto give up control.
That's right.
Sometimes the most powerfulthing you can do is choose to
(13:31):
submit.
This isn't passive.
This is you slipping into asubmissive role with full
awareness and still holding thereins.
You're not being dominated.
You're performing submission asa way to control the scene from
a different angle.
So try this.
Tell them tonight I want to beyours, but don't tell them
(13:53):
they're still going to befollowing your rules.
That line alone tells themeverything they need to know.
Remember this is your game.
So let your body soften, letthem think they're leading, but
stay fully present.
Use your breath, your moans,your expressions to guide them.
Respond, but deliberately.
(14:15):
Arch into their touch, but onlywhen you want to Whimper.
When it serves the moon,maintain eye contact like it's
command.
This is conscious submission,it's control through surrender,
it's kink, it's dominance andit's the kind of power that
doesn't need to shout becauseit's felt.
(14:37):
So here's your mission the nexttime you're underneath your
partner, don't just be there.
Dominate from the bottom, tiltyour hips, lock your legs, speak
your needs, hold their gaze andsay you're mine until I say
otherwise.
This isn't about flippingpositions.
This is about flipping thescript, because sometimes the
person on the bottom is the onepulling all the strings.
(15:00):
Give it a try and tell me howit goes.
You can do that by going to myYouTube channel.
If you're just a listener, youcan find me there at
TalkSexWithAnette, and you candrop your comment, your thought,
your question, in the commentsection below the video.
You can also email me atAnnette at TalkSexWithAnnettecom
.
And remember, if you are onyour own pleasure journey,
(15:21):
whether with a partner or simplyin reclamation of your own
sensual power, and you'relooking for a sidekick, a wing
woman, a cheerleader, if youwill, my sex and intimacy
coaching books are open and youcan find out more about that by
going to my website it'stalksexwithanettecom, or you can
email me at annette attalksexwithanettecom.
(15:43):
So get out there, get on yourback and own your pleasure.
Let me know how it goes, let meknow what you think about this
video and if it's helped you atall, reclaim a position that has
really gotten a bad rep overthe years.
And until next time I'll seeyou guys in the locker room.
(16:03):
Cheers.
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