June 16, 2025 • 17 mins
You’ve been doing cowgirl all wrong—and no, it’s not your fault.
Most people are never taught how to ride in a way that actually feels good, builds orgasmic rhythm, and keeps your partner completely wrecked beneath you. That ends today.
In this episode, I’m breaking down 4 powerful cowgirl techniques that make you feel confident, connected, and absolutely unforgettable on top. You’ll learn:
✨ How to ride for your pleasure (and why it leads to stronger orgasms)
🔥 The difference between rocking, bouncing, swiveling, and reverse riding
💦 The science behind why being on top increases orgasm potential
🖤 How to kink it up with power play, praise, submission, and toys
💋 How to ride like you own the room—and their attention for days
Whether you’re new to being on top or ready to upgrade your game, this episode is your ultimate riding guide.
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My spicy OF handle is @talksexwithannette
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here.
Nothing's off limits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends and, of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome tomy podcast.
(00:42):
Where desire meets disruptionand pleasure becomes power.
Now let's talk about sex Cheers.
Today's Talk Sex with Annette.
Topic is how to ride like youown him.
Cowgirl moves that make youunforgettable.
Let's get one thing straightCowgirl isn't just a change of
(01:04):
pace, it's not just the take abreak position.
It's one of the most powerful,orgasmic and memorable ways to
have sex.
When you know what you're doingand if you're thinking.
But I always feel awkward ontop, or it never really does
anything for me, or I get tiredfrom bouncing too much you've
just never been taught what aride for your own pleasure.
(01:27):
Because here's the truth whenyou know how to use your hips,
your breath and the unique shapeof your partner's body to your
advantage, you're not justgiving a show, you're unlocking
your own orgasmic potential.
And the data backs it up.
Research in the Journal ofSexual Medicine shows that when
people with vulvas take controlof the angle and the rhythm
(01:49):
during sex, like in cowgirltheir chances of orgasm goes way
up.
Another study found thatcowgirl creates ideal conditions
for both clitoral and G-spotstimulation, and when these two
get activated together, you'retalking next level, full body
release.
And here's the best part itdoesn't just feel incredible,
(02:13):
it's hot to watch, it's hot tofeel and it's hot to be part of.
So whether you're the onewriting or you're the one being
written, this episode is goingto show you exactly how to turn
cowgirl into your signature move.
But before we dive in, I wantto remind you that I'm over on
OF and there I'm sharing my sexand intimacy how-tos,
(02:36):
demonstrations and audio-guidedself-pleasure meditations, all
designed to help you on your ownpleasure journey, whether that
journey is with yourself or withsomebody else.
You can also find me onSubstack doing so much of the
same and more, and you can findme at both places with my handle
at TalkSexWithAnette.
(02:57):
Of course, you can alwaysscroll down to the notes in this
episode and find me whereveryou want to below.
But for now, let's talk abouthow to ride like a cowgirl who
knows what she is doing Cheers.
So let's talk about why ridingcan feel so damn good.
Cowgirl is one of the mostpleasure-rich positions,
(03:18):
especially for vulva owners,because it gives access to all
the right angles withoutsacrificing rhythm or connection
.
It's customizable, adaptable,perfect for teasing, controlling
or surrendering.
When you're on top, you controldepth, pace, angle, pressure
(03:40):
and rhythm.
That means you can hit yourclit and your G-spot at once,
find the stroke pattern thatbuilds your orgasm slowly and,
bonus, put on a show while doingit all.
And that show is not aboutperforming for your partner,
it's about embodying yourpleasure so fully that they
can't look away.
(04:01):
So what's really getting in theway of women enjoying cowgirl
Confidence?
Let's talk about the elephantin the bedroom.
Being on top can feel awkward.
Maybe you're worried about howyou look.
Maybe your thighs start shakingand you feel like you're doing
it wrong.
Maybe you're trying to ridelike some hyper-flexible porn
star and you end up feelingridiculous.
(04:23):
Here's your permission slip tolet that shit go.
Confidence on top has nothingto do with choreography.
It's about knowing what feelsgood to you and letting that
lead the way.
So before we dive intotechnique, remember this You're
not trying to impress anyone.
You're exploring what your bodylikes and when you let yourself
enjoy being on top, really leaninto it.
(04:44):
That's what makes it hot.
So here's the techniquebreakdown Four cowgirl moves
that hit different.
Let's get to the good part howto actually ride in ways that
feel amazing and leave a lastingimpression.
Here are four powerful,pleasure-maximized cowgirl
(05:04):
variations.
Each one delivers somethingdifferent and together they give
you a full body menu of how toride like you own it.
The first variation is therocker, aka the grind.
This one is all about clitcontrol.
The setup is this your kneesare wide, you're facing him,
thighs straddling your partner.
(05:25):
Body is slightly forward, soyour pelvis presses into theirs.
The movement is this Don'tbounce, grind.
Move your hips forward and backor in slow circles, think
pelvic waves, not up and down.
Here's why it works.
This gives you direct contactbetween your clit and their
pubic bone, or a toy, whilestill stimulating your G-spot
(05:49):
internally.
And bonus, if your partnerstays still, you get to create
the rhythm that builds exactlythe way your body needs it.
This is a favorite for blendedorgasms clit and internal at the
same time.
The second variation is thebounce, aka deep stroke, porn
star moment.
This one's visual, intense andcan deliver deep pressure right
(06:13):
where you want it.
The setup is this You're goingto sit up straight, facing your
partner, right where you want it.
The setup is this You're goingto sit up straight, facing your
partner, feet flat on eitherside of your partner's hips.
Use your legs like you're in asquat.
You can place your hands on hisor her chest for more balance.
The movement is a controlledlift and drop.
Just a few inches is plenty.
(06:34):
You're not launching off thebed or on a trampoline.
Here's why it works.
The squat position changes yourpelvic angle, gives access to
deep parts of the vaginal canaland lets you use the full length
of their shaft.
Use it in short bursts.
You well get tired.
Alternate between bouncing andgrinding.
(06:55):
And if you really want to driveyour partner wild, lock eyes,
slow it down and say somethingfilthy.
Variation number three is theswivel, aka tease and tangle.
This one's hypnotic and sounderrated.
The setup is this You're goingto sit fully down on them,
(07:15):
facing them, chest, eitherupright or slightly forward,
sometimes more forward than not.
Your hips are pressed flushwith theirs.
The movement is this Make slow,steady circles with your hips
or figure eights.
Keep your pelvis connected theentire time.
Here's why it works.
(07:36):
It creates pressure along theentire vaginal wall.
It's less cardio and moresensual, and it can help you
reach orgasm without everbreaking contact.
Want to go deeper?
Add clit stimulation while youswivel fingers, toy whatever
makes your body hum, and I mayhave saved what some might argue
(07:57):
is the best for last.
The reverse ride, aka controlfrom behind, or reverse cowgirl.
This one flips the script andlets you play with dominance or
submission, depending on yourmood.
The setup is that you're goingto face away from your partner.
You can lean forward onto theirlegs or keep your torso upright
(08:18):
, whatever feels good.
The movement can be a rock, abounce, a swivel, alternate
between all of them.
Here's why it works.
It changes the angle ofpenetration and it gives your
partner a whole new sexy, hotview.
And it also lets you lean intorole play or any power dynamic
you want.
Big bonus is because their legsare a little bit apart, in
(08:42):
front of you, you get access toyour clit.
It leaves space for you tobring a toy in.
You can use some clit vibrationor clit suction to help bring
you to that next level orgasmicexperience.
In this position you can be incontrol, guiding the pace, or
(09:03):
you can surrender riding theircock because you want to give
them a show.
Hand over the control and letthem control the pace.
That can be super hot too.
Pace, that can be super hot too.
Also, if you lean forward alittle bit, it gives them space
(09:23):
to indulge in some anal play.
Or put a butt plug in ahead oftime.
They will get a great viewwhile enjoying the internal
pressure that the anal plugprovides to them, while
pleasuring you as well.
This position is sexy, primaland extremely high reward.
(09:45):
So now let's talk about layeringthe energy, not just the moves.
Writing isn't just abouttechnique, it's about energy.
If you want to take it fromgreat sex to I'll never forget
that night, add these in One eyecontact that says I know
exactly what I'm doing.
Two, breath syncing, let yourrhythm lead and let them follow.
(10:08):
Three, dirty talk.
It can be soft and dominant,submissive, whispered, whatever
feels hot in the moment.
Four, toy play, especially clitsection, or vibrators like the
Womanizer.
Next, while grinding, and again, I've already mentioned some
butt plugs, something to givethem a little bit of a show.
(10:30):
And then finally, power play.
You can ride with control oryou can ride because they told
you to.
Both are hot, neither cancelsthe other out and if you ever
feel unsure, come back to this.
You're allowed to look messy,sound, hungry, move however you
want.
Allowed to look messy, sound,hungry, move however you want,
(10:53):
because that's what realconfidence on top looks like and
that's what makes writingunforgettable For them and for
you.
If you want to turn things upeven more, let's talk.
Kink Cowgirl is a perfectposition to play with power.
Whether you want to dominate,surrender or explore both,
here's how to kink it up withouteven changing positions For a
(11:14):
dominant cowgirl.
Pin your partner's wrist down,maintain eye contact and say
things like you take what I giveyou, control the pace, edge
them, ride slow and then makethem beg.
You can take them right to thebrink of orgasm.
Pause While you're pausing,touch your clit, pleasure
(11:37):
yourself and ask them to sayplease For a submissive cowgirl
on top.
Ask them how do you want me tomove?
Tell them to tell you what todo.
Let them guide your hips, weara blindfold, a collar or simply
surrender with intention.
Then there's the verbal kinksIn this position, they are the
(12:00):
chef's.
Kiss to the experience.
For praise, say things like youfeel so good inside of me.
For degradation, you can sayyou're lucky, I let you fuck me
like this at all.
If you're teasing, you can saysomething like is this what you
wanted?
Just keep it consensual,playful and hot.
(12:21):
Have a discussion about kink inadvance if you plan on
including it in your play.
Consent is a must always.
And of course, you can add toysand accessories, which I've
already mentioned.
You can use a clip vibe orsuction toy.
You can use a remote controlplug or vibe for dual
(12:43):
stimulation.
Hand over a little control toyour partner.
There are always restraints.
Tie them up before you ridethem.
Blindfolds or temperature play,if that's your thing.
The options are endless forpleasure and connection.
In this position, bottom lineriding doesn't have to mean
(13:04):
taking the lead or giving it up.
You get to decide what powerlooks like and feels like on top
.
Let's tie it all together andmake the ride unforgettable.
Here's the truth.
Cowgirl doesn't have to bebouncy, awkward or intimidating.
It can be slow, teasing,dominant, surrendered, filthy or
soft.
It can be for your orgasm, fortheir obsession or both.
(13:28):
What makes it unforgettableisn't the moves, it's how
present you are in your body,it's the eye contact, the sounds
, the confidence, knowing thatyou're giving and taking at the
same time, whether you'regrinding slow with your clip
pressed in tight, bouncing deepwith your head thrown back, or
(13:50):
teasing them with a twist ofyour hips and a wicked little
grin.
This is your ride.
Own it.
They are going to love it.
So here is your challenge forthe week from me Pick one of the
moves from this episode andwrite it like you mean it.
Own the pace, breathe into it,feel what feels good and take
(14:13):
more of it.
And if you're ready to kink itup, try one of the power
dynamics we talked about Play,explore, see what turns you on.
Then come back and tell me whathappened, leave a review, dm me
or, better yet, send this to afriend who needs to level up
their game.
And if you're looking for somehelp on your own pleasure
journey a coach, a cheerleader,a wing woman, if you will, my
(14:37):
coaching books are open.
You can connect with me viaemail at annette, at
talksexwithannettecom, and we'llfigure out how to get you on a
path to more pleasure in yourlife and or your relationship.
You can also find out moreabout my coaching at at
TalkSexWithAnnettecom.
(14:58):
Until next time, take your time, ride with intention and, as
always, remember pleasure isyour birthright.
Now, go out there and get ituntil next time.
I'll see y'all in the lockerroom.
Cheers.
Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here.
Nothing's off limits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends and, of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you.
And if you're new, welcome tomy podcast.
(00:42):
Where desire meets disruptionand pleasure becomes power.
Now let's talk about sex Cheers.
Today's Talk Sex with Annette.
Topic is how to ride like youown him.
Cowgirl moves that make youunforgettable.
Let's get one thing straightCowgirl isn't just a change of
(01:04):
pace, it's not just the take abreak position.
It's one of the most powerful,orgasmic and memorable ways to
have sex.
When you know what you're doingand if you're thinking.
But I always feel awkward ontop, or it never really does
anything for me, or I get tiredfrom bouncing too much you've
just never been taught what aride for your own pleasure.
(01:27):
Because here's the truth whenyou know how to use your hips,
your breath and the unique shapeof your partner's body to your
advantage, you're not justgiving a show, you're unlocking
your own orgasmic potential.
And the data backs it up.
Research in the Journal ofSexual Medicine shows that when
people with vulvas take controlof the angle and the rhythm
(01:49):
during sex, like in cowgirltheir chances of orgasm goes way
up.
Another study found thatcowgirl creates ideal conditions
for both clitoral and G-spotstimulation, and when these two
get activated together, you'retalking next level, full body
release.
And here's the best part itdoesn't just feel incredible,
(02:13):
it's hot to watch, it's hot tofeel and it's hot to be part of.
So whether you're the onewriting or you're the one being
written, this episode is goingto show you exactly how to turn
cowgirl into your signature move.
But before we dive in, I wantto remind you that I'm over on
OF and there I'm sharing my sexand intimacy how-tos,
(02:36):
demonstrations and audio-guidedself-pleasure meditations, all
designed to help you on your ownpleasure journey, whether that
journey is with yourself or withsomebody else.
You can also find me onSubstack doing so much of the
same and more, and you can findme at both places with my handle
at TalkSexWithAnette.
(02:57):
Of course, you can alwaysscroll down to the notes in this
episode and find me whereveryou want to below.
But for now, let's talk abouthow to ride like a cowgirl who
knows what she is doing Cheers.
So let's talk about why ridingcan feel so damn good.
Cowgirl is one of the mostpleasure-rich positions,
(03:18):
especially for vulva owners,because it gives access to all
the right angles withoutsacrificing rhythm or connection
.
It's customizable, adaptable,perfect for teasing, controlling
or surrendering.
When you're on top, you controldepth, pace, angle, pressure
(03:40):
and rhythm.
That means you can hit yourclit and your G-spot at once,
find the stroke pattern thatbuilds your orgasm slowly and,
bonus, put on a show while doingit all.
And that show is not aboutperforming for your partner,
it's about embodying yourpleasure so fully that they
can't look away.
(04:01):
So what's really getting in theway of women enjoying cowgirl
Confidence?
Let's talk about the elephantin the bedroom.
Being on top can feel awkward.
Maybe you're worried about howyou look.
Maybe your thighs start shakingand you feel like you're doing
it wrong.
Maybe you're trying to ridelike some hyper-flexible porn
star and you end up feelingridiculous.
(04:23):
Here's your permission slip tolet that shit go.
Confidence on top has nothingto do with choreography.
It's about knowing what feelsgood to you and letting that
lead the way.
So before we dive intotechnique, remember this You're
not trying to impress anyone.
You're exploring what your bodylikes and when you let yourself
enjoy being on top, really leaninto it.
(04:44):
That's what makes it hot.
So here's the techniquebreakdown Four cowgirl moves
that hit different.
Let's get to the good part howto actually ride in ways that
feel amazing and leave a lastingimpression.
Here are four powerful,pleasure-maximized cowgirl
(05:04):
variations.
Each one delivers somethingdifferent and together they give
you a full body menu of how toride like you own it.
The first variation is therocker, aka the grind.
This one is all about clitcontrol.
The setup is this your kneesare wide, you're facing him,
thighs straddling your partner.
(05:25):
Body is slightly forward, soyour pelvis presses into theirs.
The movement is this Don'tbounce, grind.
Move your hips forward and backor in slow circles, think
pelvic waves, not up and down.
Here's why it works.
This gives you direct contactbetween your clit and their
pubic bone, or a toy, whilestill stimulating your G-spot
(05:49):
internally.
And bonus, if your partnerstays still, you get to create
the rhythm that builds exactlythe way your body needs it.
This is a favorite for blendedorgasms clit and internal at the
same time.
The second variation is thebounce, aka deep stroke, porn
star moment.
This one's visual, intense andcan deliver deep pressure right
(06:13):
where you want it.
The setup is this You're goingto sit up straight, facing your
partner, right where you want it.
The setup is this You're goingto sit up straight, facing your
partner, feet flat on eitherside of your partner's hips.
Use your legs like you're in asquat.
You can place your hands on hisor her chest for more balance.
The movement is a controlledlift and drop.
Just a few inches is plenty.
(06:34):
You're not launching off thebed or on a trampoline.
Here's why it works.
The squat position changes yourpelvic angle, gives access to
deep parts of the vaginal canaland lets you use the full length
of their shaft.
Use it in short bursts.
You well get tired.
Alternate between bouncing andgrinding.
(06:55):
And if you really want to driveyour partner wild, lock eyes,
slow it down and say somethingfilthy.
Variation number three is theswivel, aka tease and tangle.
This one's hypnotic and sounderrated.
The setup is this You're goingto sit fully down on them,
(07:15):
facing them, chest, eitherupright or slightly forward,
sometimes more forward than not.
Your hips are pressed flushwith theirs.
The movement is this Make slow,steady circles with your hips
or figure eights.
Keep your pelvis connected theentire time.
Here's why it works.
(07:36):
It creates pressure along theentire vaginal wall.
It's less cardio and moresensual, and it can help you
reach orgasm without everbreaking contact.
Want to go deeper?
Add clit stimulation while youswivel fingers, toy whatever
makes your body hum, and I mayhave saved what some might argue
(07:57):
is the best for last.
The reverse ride, aka controlfrom behind, or reverse cowgirl.
This one flips the script andlets you play with dominance or
submission, depending on yourmood.
The setup is that you're goingto face away from your partner.
You can lean forward onto theirlegs or keep your torso upright
(08:18):
, whatever feels good.
The movement can be a rock, abounce, a swivel, alternate
between all of them.
Here's why it works.
It changes the angle ofpenetration and it gives your
partner a whole new sexy, hotview.
And it also lets you lean intorole play or any power dynamic
you want.
Big bonus is because their legsare a little bit apart, in
(08:42):
front of you, you get access toyour clit.
It leaves space for you tobring a toy in.
You can use some clit vibrationor clit suction to help bring
you to that next level orgasmicexperience.
In this position you can be incontrol, guiding the pace, or
(09:03):
you can surrender riding theircock because you want to give
them a show.
Hand over the control and letthem control the pace.
That can be super hot too.
Pace, that can be super hot too.
Also, if you lean forward alittle bit, it gives them space
(09:23):
to indulge in some anal play.
Or put a butt plug in ahead oftime.
They will get a great viewwhile enjoying the internal
pressure that the anal plugprovides to them, while
pleasuring you as well.
This position is sexy, primaland extremely high reward.
(09:45):
So now let's talk about layeringthe energy, not just the moves.
Writing isn't just abouttechnique, it's about energy.
If you want to take it fromgreat sex to I'll never forget
that night, add these in One eyecontact that says I know
exactly what I'm doing.
Two, breath syncing, let yourrhythm lead and let them follow.
(10:08):
Three, dirty talk.
It can be soft and dominant,submissive, whispered, whatever
feels hot in the moment.
Four, toy play, especially clitsection, or vibrators like the
Womanizer.
Next, while grinding, and again, I've already mentioned some
butt plugs, something to givethem a little bit of a show.
(10:30):
And then finally, power play.
You can ride with control oryou can ride because they told
you to.
Both are hot, neither cancelsthe other out and if you ever
feel unsure, come back to this.
You're allowed to look messy,sound, hungry, move however you
want.
Allowed to look messy, sound,hungry, move however you want,
(10:53):
because that's what realconfidence on top looks like and
that's what makes writingunforgettable For them and for
you.
If you want to turn things upeven more, let's talk.
Kink Cowgirl is a perfectposition to play with power.
Whether you want to dominate,surrender or explore both,
here's how to kink it up withouteven changing positions For a
(11:14):
dominant cowgirl.
Pin your partner's wrist down,maintain eye contact and say
things like you take what I giveyou, control the pace, edge
them, ride slow and then makethem beg.
You can take them right to thebrink of orgasm.
Pause While you're pausing,touch your clit, pleasure
(11:37):
yourself and ask them to sayplease For a submissive cowgirl
on top.
Ask them how do you want me tomove?
Tell them to tell you what todo.
Let them guide your hips, weara blindfold, a collar or simply
surrender with intention.
Then there's the verbal kinksIn this position, they are the
(12:00):
chef's.
Kiss to the experience.
For praise, say things like youfeel so good inside of me.
For degradation, you can sayyou're lucky, I let you fuck me
like this at all.
If you're teasing, you can saysomething like is this what you
wanted?
Just keep it consensual,playful and hot.
(12:21):
Have a discussion about kink inadvance if you plan on
including it in your play.
Consent is a must always.
And of course, you can add toysand accessories, which I've
already mentioned.
You can use a clip vibe orsuction toy.
You can use a remote controlplug or vibe for dual
(12:43):
stimulation.
Hand over a little control toyour partner.
There are always restraints.
Tie them up before you ridethem.
Blindfolds or temperature play,if that's your thing.
The options are endless forpleasure and connection.
In this position, bottom lineriding doesn't have to mean
(13:04):
taking the lead or giving it up.
You get to decide what powerlooks like and feels like on top
.
Let's tie it all together andmake the ride unforgettable.
Here's the truth.
Cowgirl doesn't have to bebouncy, awkward or intimidating.
It can be slow, teasing,dominant, surrendered, filthy or
soft.
It can be for your orgasm, fortheir obsession or both.
(13:28):
What makes it unforgettableisn't the moves, it's how
present you are in your body,it's the eye contact, the sounds
, the confidence, knowing thatyou're giving and taking at the
same time, whether you'regrinding slow with your clip
pressed in tight, bouncing deepwith your head thrown back, or
(13:50):
teasing them with a twist ofyour hips and a wicked little
grin.
This is your ride.
Own it.
They are going to love it.
So here is your challenge forthe week from me Pick one of the
moves from this episode andwrite it like you mean it.
Own the pace, breathe into it,feel what feels good and take
(14:13):
more of it.
And if you're ready to kink itup, try one of the power
dynamics we talked about Play,explore, see what turns you on.
Then come back and tell me whathappened, leave a review, dm me
or, better yet, send this to afriend who needs to level up
their game.
And if you're looking for somehelp on your own pleasure
journey a coach, a cheerleader,a wing woman, if you will, my
(14:37):
coaching books are open.
You can connect with me viaemail at annette, at
talksexwithannettecom, and we'llfigure out how to get you on a
path to more pleasure in yourlife and or your relationship.
You can also find out moreabout my coaching at at
TalkSexWithAnnettecom.
(14:58):
Until next time, take your time, ride with intention and, as
always, remember pleasure isyour birthright.
Now, go out there and get ituntil next time.
I'll see y'all in the lockerroom.
Cheers.
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