Lactation & Pregnancy Kinks: Why They Turn You On (Therapist Explains)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Do the sex Think fun, honest and feminist as fuck,
and always with the goal offighting the patriarchy.
One female orgasm at a time.
Welcome to the locker room.
Today's topic is pregnancy andlactation kinks.

(00:46):
Why these might turn you on, atherapist explains.
This kind of kink is surging inpopularity, and not just among
men.
For some women, it's thesexiest they've ever felt.
For others, it's aboutreclaiming the power of their
bodies during and aftermotherhood.
And my guest today is ChelseaNewton, and she is not here to

(01:10):
kink shame you.
She is here to help youunderstand why this might turn
you on and why it might just bea doorway to deeper healing,
even if you've never beenpregnant nor had a baby before.
Chelsea is a queer socialworker, sex therapist and the
founder of Phases of the MindTherapy.
After nearly a decade ofserving families and communities

(01:33):
in Philadelphia and Denver, shecreated a practice that honors
the full spectrum of humansexuality Yay, I love that
Including the parts we're oftentoo ashamed to talk about.
She holds two master's degrees,one in social work and one in
human sexuality education, andshe's a kink-affirming therapist

(01:55):
who works especially withpeople who are exploring their
sexual identities, healing fromshame and learning to trust what
actually feels good in theirbodies.
She is perfect for this podcastis what I'm saying.
So if you've ever had a desirethat has scared you or thrilled
you, this episode is yourpermission slip.

(02:18):
Grab your headphones and maybeyour journal, because this might
just be the most honestconversation you've heard about
pregnancy and lactation kink.
But before we dive in folks Iknow that's a cliffhanger I want
to remind you that I'm onOnlyFans and over there I'm
sharing intimacy and sex how-tosand demonstrations.
I'm also providing you withsome audio guided self-pleasure

(02:40):
meditations that are going tohelp you improve your own
pleasure journey.
Well, as soon as you subscribe,there's lots more going on
there.
I'm also over on Substack doingthe same and you can find me by
my handle at TalkSexWithAnette.
You can also scroll down.
We're going to find all thelinks to wherever you want to
find me below, but for right now, we are going to be talking to

(03:03):
Chelsea about the pregnancy andlactation kink.
Chelsea, will you tell mylisteners a little bit more
about you?

Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yes, absolutely, and thank you so much for having me.
You know, as you were sort ofmentioning what I do, I just was
beaming because I'm like I havethe coolest fucking job on
earth.
You know, I'm a sex therapist.
That is what I'm trained to do,and really I specialize in
helping folks talk about thethings that they're really,
really scared to talk about.

(03:32):
Whether that is a kink, whetherthat is an experience of trauma
, whether that is coming out toa partner or a family member.
I love supporting folks withthe things in the therapy room
that they just don't know whereelse they can even talk about it
, and so it really is my passion.
I am also a licensed clinicalsocial worker in the state of

(03:53):
Colorado.
I work as a school socialworker, and when I'm not being a
therapist or a school socialworker wrangling five-year-olds
which is often what I'm doingyou can really just find me
hanging out in my backyard.
I'm just one to be in natureand so grateful to be here in
Colorado.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
Well, welcome and thank you for joining for this
conversation.
I think we're going to have alot of listeners who have their
eyebrows raised and we're goingto have a lot of listeners who
are like, oh, that explains somuch about me.
So, whether you're curious, oryou're really curious and want
to get involved with this kink,I want you guys to stay to the

(04:34):
end because you're going tofully understand this kink.
These kinks, there's two we'regoing to be talking about.
We are talking about thepregnancy kink and we are
talking about the lactation kink.
Now, I lumped them together.
It may be that by the end ofthis podcast, we want to pull
them apart and dive into themdeeper, but I felt like they
went together well.

(04:55):
So if you are interested inthem, then by the end of this
podcast you're going tounderstand them better and
you're going to have some toolsto talk to your partner if you
have a partner about it, or seekout a partner to help you
fulfill the need, if you will,by the end of this podcast.
So, as always, folks stay tothe end.

(05:19):
I want to let you all know thatChelsea came to the table with a
great idea and we missed out onthe boat.
On this one she was like Ialmost came to drink a flute
filled with milk with you, and Iam sad to say that this is not
happening today.
But someday, chelsea, maybeI'll have you back and we will

(05:39):
drink, drink our milk together.
So, folks, let's get ready totalk about the pregnancy and
lactation kink Cheers.
All right, we got to start atthe top here.
What does it actually mean whenwe say pregnancy kink or
lactation kink?

Speaker 2 (06:01):
So pregnancy kink is what it sounds like, right, it's
like somebody that is attractedto or turned on by, aroused by,
pregnancy.
However, it can look a bunch ofdifferent ways.
So there's some folks that maybe, you know, seeing a pregnant
woman, seeing that pregnantbelly, and that could be a real
turn on.

(06:21):
For other folks it could bedifferent stages of pregnancy.
It could even be things relatedto pregnancy, like morning
sickness, right.
So there's so many differentaspects of the pregnancy kink
that may have to do with, youknow, when we sort of
traditionally think of this sortof nine month really round
belly of somebody who's about togive birth.

(06:42):
But there are so many otheraspects of it beyond just that.
When we talk about the lactationkink, it is also
straightforwardly what it soundslike.
It is arousal or desire toeither view lactation right or
have breast milk as part of sex.

(07:03):
It could also be an adultnursing relationship, which is a
big part of the lactation right, or have breast milk as part of
sex.
It could also be an adultnursing relationship, which is a
big part of the lactation kink,where folks are having this
adult nursing relationship,which for some people may or may
not be sexual, and so that oneis.
I mean, any kink can be complex, but I think the lactation kink
is a bit more complex in thatit just presents itself in so

(07:26):
many different ways.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
All right.
So with the pregnancy kink, itcould be a kink that occurs from
the other, meaning a man orsomeone who's not pregnant being
turned on by a pregnant body,the idea of pregnancy.
But it can also be from thewoman or person's standpoint of

(07:49):
like feeling turned on either bybeing pregnant or the thought
of being pregnant.
Correct, Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
I think there's so many themes around like
femininity and fertility thatcan be so empowering for women
who are, who do have this kink,and it is a really pleasurable
feeling to be pregnant, toexperience pregnancy or even
just fantasize about thepossibility of being pregnant or

(08:21):
breastfeeding, which is why Ithink the pregnancy and last
patient kinks really cross over,because I think for some folks
that is a big part of the puzzle.

Speaker 1 (08:32):
So do you need to actually be pregnant, have been
pregnant or have been withsomeone pregnant, in order to
participate or be interested inor have this kink?

Speaker 2 (08:44):
Absolutely not.
You do not have to be pregnantor be with somebody who's
pregnant to participate in thepregnancy kink.
There are lots of ways in whichpeople explore this.
One way is through using like aprosthetic, even like a belly
right that can be strapped onand so you may not be actually
pregnant or, you know, you maynot even be a cisgendered woman

(09:09):
Right and, putting on this belly, you could be really of any
gender, of any sexualorientation and use something
like that to create that samesensation that we would probably
have at externally if we'reexperiencing pregnancy.
So you absolutely don't have tobe pregnant, you don't have to

(09:29):
have ever been pregnant to enjoythe pregnancy kink.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
So I know this is going to be hard for you to
believe, but I have been downmany a porn rabbit hole in my
lifetime.
And the first question, as youare speaking about this, that
pops up in my mind does thebreeding kink tie into the

(09:57):
pregnancy and lactation kink?
Because I'll admit I've seen onthe titles of the videos
breeding session.
I'm also going to be reallyhonest, and y'all know that I'm
honest.
I have never once clicked onthose.
Something about it like I'mjust like what Just?
I grew up on a farm, so it'snot for you, it's okay.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
I mean, it could be, but I never clicked on it,
chelsea.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
I don't know, but can you talk about how it folds in,
how the breeding kink folds inwith the pregnancy and lactation
kink?

Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yes, so in preparation for our conversation
today, I myself was doing alittle bit of research and
Googling and came across lots ofdifferent porn titles and all
kinds of things, and one of thethings that I haven't really
been thinking about coming intothe conversation was also the
impregnation fetish, right?

(10:56):
So this breeding fetish, or eventhis fetish around the idea of,
or the fantasy of, eitherimpregnating somebody or
becoming pregnant during an actof sex, and so, yeah, I mean I
think it is really tied.
I think that can be part of it.
I've seen even um, and actuallyhad a client who was really

(11:19):
into pregnancy tests, whichactually had more to do with the
urination over the pregnancytest, and they knew that they
weren't pregnant, but there wassomething about the act of the
urination and the possibility ofa positive pregnancy test that
was like such a turn on for them.
So when we're talking about thepregnancy and lactation kinks
like there's a lot of crossoverthat I think can happen.
We're talking about bodilyfluids, we're talking about

(11:42):
reproduction, we're talkingabout growing bodies.
That was another one that Icame across in my research was
like feederism, right For folkswho are really wanting to feed
and grow the size of a body, andthere's some crossover there
with pregnancy as well, and soit really just like goes on and
on and on.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
My mind is blown right now.
I came into this feeling like Iknew something, and I only know
a little on the grand scheme ofthings, so I have so many
questions.
So where do you think this typeof kink its origins are from?

(12:49):
Is it something that comes fromchildhood experience?
Is it something becauseobviously, you don't have to
have been pregnant to be turnedon?

Speaker 2 (12:52):
by it?
Is it from watching a pregnancy?
Are there any sort ofpsychological things going on
behind this?
I'm always really careful not topoint to any one specific
origin of any kink, because Ithink that we already deal with
so much stigma and shame oftenaround kinks, and so if you're
into a pregnancy kink or you'reinto a lactation kink, right
then there must be somethingthat happened to you or there
must be something in your lifethat, like propelled you into

(13:16):
this interest.
And in my experience as atherapist working with clients,
it's just simply not true.
Yes, sure, there couldabsolutely be a really defining
moment, say in somebody'sadolescence, where you know,
they saw a woman breastfeedingand it really was their first

(13:37):
time understanding arousal intheir body and something stuck
or something clicked, but eventhen I don't know that that
would necessarily be like thething.
However, I do think when wethink about lactation and
pregnancy, we're really talkingabout this like feminine energy.

(13:58):
We're talking about nutrition,right, because ultimately, when
we think about the act ofnursing or breast milk, like
really the true purpose of thatis nutrition.
I also think that breasts arejust so sexualized in our
culture, and even pregnancy hasbecome more and more sexualized
in our culture.
You know, I forget what year itwas, but it's like Demi Moore

(14:20):
was on the cover of like Vogueor whatever with this big
pregnant belly and I feel likethat was sort of the start.
And now we see companies,clothing companies that do like
pregnancy styling, and there'sso many beautiful nude pregnancy
photo shoots.
Even for somebody who doesn'thave a pregnancy kink, those
photo shoots I think can be sobeautiful and empowering.
But I think we see this increasein sexualization around

(14:43):
pregnancy and pregnant bodiesand so I don't know, I don't
know that there's a specificorigin.
I mean, if we wanted to talkabout like Freud and
psychoanalytic theory, we couldgo forever about like what Freud
might have to say about alactation kink, right, and like
sort of this oral fixation andall of those pieces you know.

(15:05):
So I think you know I don'ttypically practice from the
psychoanalytic lens, but it'scertainly within my training and
like I think we would be remissto not at least mention you
know that there's definitelysome psychological theories
behind that.
How accurate those are for aspecific person, you know, is
really dependent on that personand their experience.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
So let's break this down.
I want to talk about what thepregnancy kink looks like,
meaning what are some acts thatwould be included in living out
this kink, and I want to addressboth non-pregnant and pregnant
bodies.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
Sky's the limit.
I mean, sky's the limit really.
I think it can include a lot ofthings.
I think typically it includes,you know, intercourse with a
person who has a pregnant body,who is pregnant or has a
prosthetic and is sort of actinglike they are pregnant.

(16:09):
I think that that is probablylike what we most commonly think
of and what I've most commonlycome across in my practice as a
sex therapist.
However, I think that there'salso an aspect of it.
When we think about um, uh, likeultrasounds and the goo or the
jelly right that goes on thebelly and the hearing of the

(16:30):
heartbeat, or the looking at thephotos or something about this
connection to something that isother than, um, I don't know, a
human being that is earth sideright, it's like there's this
thing that's going on.
That is like really incredible,and I think for some folks, that
sort of like unknown oruncertainty can also be a real

(16:52):
turn on.
In my research around this, Ialso found that in a lot of like
slash fiction or other forms ofpornography like hentai, there
is also like a really strongkink around impregnating
somebody or being pregnant withlike alien eggs, for example,

(17:13):
and so there's just so many waysin which this can look and I
think it just depends on theperson.
It could also be more of thatbonding, it could be a snuggling
with of this pregnant belly orperceived pregnant belly.
That I think could be reallycomforting for folks.
And so again, I think sky's thelimit.

(17:35):
It really really rangesdepending on that person and
their fantasies and what turnsthem on and their fantasies and
what turns them on.

Speaker 1 (17:43):
Well, because it can be part of role play, right?
If you are not pregnant, thenpart of the pregnancy kink is
one person role playing beingpregnant.
And what I think a lot ofpeople who tend towards more of
the vanilla side of life don'tunderstand is that with a kink,
especially one like this, isthat it doesn't have to be a

(18:12):
human pregnancy.
Right, you can fantasize aboutany kind of pregnancy that you
might, and some people might.
I can imagine celestial beingsor aliens being pregnant with.
You know, think about mythologywhere the gods would come down
and impregnate a human woman andthe human woman would carry a
god slash human combo to birth,and that was very eroticized and

(18:37):
romanticized as well.
So that, look at me gettingcreative with the kink already.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
That's what I'm saying, Like it's not the limit.
I think there's so manydifferent things that that tie
into this kink and it's reallynot just one thing.
It can be so many differentthings and I think people come
at it from different places,different experiences, different
you know, art or or literaturethat they've really enjoyed that

(19:07):
can like spark some of thoseideas, and so it just depends on
the person.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
Two things.
First, a personal share.
I have actually gone I wouldn'tsay dated this person.
I would say that we went on afew dates.
I did know a man who had apregnancy kink and discovered it
when he was with his ex-wife.
Then, at the time that, whenshe was pregnant, he was super

(19:34):
aroused by it.
But then when she was no longerpregnant, it was like, oh, how
do I fulfill this thing?
And when he became single, hewould get online and find
couples where the woman waspregnant and the man was, I
guess.
Then I guess you would call thepartner maybe a cuck and they

(19:56):
would invite him over to enjoyhaving sex with her because she
was pregnant and living out thatfantasy.
Well, um, I don't know what thehusband did, but that was
something that he that was hisway of kind of fulfilling that
kink in a consensual way.
So, um, that's that's my onlyconnection to it.

(20:20):
I personally was a miserable andI think we could all agree
pretty unattractive pregnantwoman.
To me there's just nothing sexyabout it.
I know a lot of women who feltvery goddess-like and gorgeous
and also turned on because ofthe amount of blood that is

(20:43):
flowing to the genitals duringthat time, and so they're very
horny and turned on and Godbless them.
I feel good for those women.
I was the most unattractivefeeling I've ever been.
This also brings me to when Iwas going through childbirth and

(21:04):
getting for one of mypregnancies.
That was when the orgasmic birthcame on scene.
Guys, if you don't know whatthis is, we'll give you a little
brief understanding, but you'regoing to have to go look it up
online.
And it was the concept thatwomen could have an orgasm while
giving birth and that birthisn't really painful and it's
actually orgasmic and it'snormal to have orgasm while
giving birth and that birthisn't really painful and it's

(21:25):
actually orgasmic and it'snormal to have orgasms during
giving birth.
I've never heard of anyonedoing that.
I've had two natural births andI'm just telling you you can't
make me believe it, but it was areally.
You can't, you cannot make mebelieve that, but it was a real
big thing.
I don't know if it's still big,but how does it is?

Speaker 2 (21:46):
I think it is still a big thing All right.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
How does that fold in ?
Does that fold into this kinkin a way, because my
kink-o-meter is going off withthat one.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
Yeah, I think for a lot of people, when we have this
conversation, there becomesthis it factor.
When we start to talk aboutchildren, right, because for
obvious reasons, right, we don'tlike to associate children and
sex, and so anytime we'retalking about, I think,
pregnancy and lactation, I thinkit is extra taboo because

(22:21):
somewhere in there there arethese aspects of, like
motherhood, fatherhood, children, and so, yeah, it's, it's
really interesting.
But but what you're sayingabout the orgasmic birth, I mean
I've seen it all over socialmedia, right, lots of people
claiming that you know they hadthis beautiful, calm, drug-free,
at home water birth where theyorgasm 7 billion times and it

(22:45):
was like magic and the heavensopened and all of that.
So I mean, I've heard thosestories.
I've also heard so many storiesthat don't sound or look
anything like that, and so I canonly trust people's experiences
.
But I do think, you know, evenin some of my research, looking
at some of the porn, some of itis like birth giving porn and

(23:09):
that is also, like I was saying,stages of pregnancy for some
folks, that really early stagewhere there's just like barely a
bump could be a big turn on, oreven like the morning sickness
piece, which I found reallyinteresting for some folks can
be a big turn on.
And then when we think about itall the way you know, to that
again classic sort of really big, beautiful beach ball sort of

(23:32):
belly, but then also thebirthing piece and watching
birth and seeing birth andseeing the way the body changes,
seeing the way the vagina opens, seeing the way the clitoral
hood is, just like you know,really retracted, like I imagine
that for some people thatreally does something.
Um and so yeah again, sky's thelimit.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
I'm just having all sorts of thoughts and ideas
while we were talking about this.
So I have a question, that'show does this play into it?
And I want to do a wholepodcast episode on this topic,
and I want to do a whole podcastepisode on this topic, the
topic of fisting, as I'm a queerwoman and I have been shocked

(24:20):
over the course of my sexualexperiences with women, how many
women love and enjoy beingfisted.
I happened upon it by accidentin a sexual I don't know.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
I somehow it just ended up there.

Speaker 1 (24:32):
I just ended up there .
I'm like, oh my God, here weare.
Somehow, somehow my fist isthere and this is what's
happening.
That was exactly how it was andit's it's hot.
It's, by the way, it's hot asfuck.
Surprisingly, and during theexperience several times,

(24:56):
because it's happened a lotwhere that's something that's
desired, women have a hard timeasking for it for obvious
reasons like shame around that.
But it makes me wonder is thatin your research?
Is there any tie in there tothe idea of something large that
fills you up?
For, from the position of awoman in pregnancy, something

(25:20):
large that fills you up comingthrough your canal?
Because I've definitely in mymind had moments of being like,
well, it's not much.
A baby's head isn't much bigger.
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I didn't come acrossthat in any of my research.
And as we're talking about it,I'm like, oh, for sure.
I mean there's very I thinkthere's a lot of similar
sensation, Perhaps much morepleasurable for some folks,
right.
Than delivering the head of achild 100%, but I don't think

(25:56):
it's a far reach.
Like I can totally see how thatcould be really pleasurable for
somebody, and especiallysomebody with a pregnancy kink,
right, if you've never beenpregnant or you're not planning
to be pregnant, would it beinteresting to have that fist
inside of you, even having thatfeeling of movement inside of

(26:18):
you, like, would that dosomething for somebody?
And I get I mean basically, ifwe can imagine it absolutely.
The answer is yes, it does thatfor somebody.
That's what I've found in mywork.
It's like if you can imagine it, you can picture it.
Somebody out there likes it anddoes it.
Um, so yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
All right.
Well, there you go.
I'm real creative when it comesto this kink.
So, folks, if you have thiskink and you didn't have that
idea, there you go.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
Use lube, use lube, a of a lot of lube, use a lot of
lube.
Trim your nails.
A glove is good too, um youknow.
But yeah, give it a shot, seeif you like it there you go.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
Uh, so this kink what ?
In what ways can it fulfill aperson beyond, obviously, if
there's physical sex involved?
What sort of emotional,psychological and physical needs
can it provide for someonewho's into it?

Speaker 2 (27:19):
or might be into it, I think, for the pregnancy piece
.
I mean, sex is such an intimateact and so I think that there
is inherently, you know,regardless of the sexual
behavior you're engaging in,regardless of your fantasies,
regardless of whatever sex canbe so intimate and connecting.

(27:39):
And so I think, you know, foranybody it's like there is that,
that emotional connection, thiscloseness that can be there.
It's not there for everybody,it doesn't always need to be
there every time either, but Ican imagine, you know, in
thinking about some of theselike impregnation, in I can't
say this, but wanting toimpregnate somebody right, it's

(28:01):
like, oh, it's like there couldbe this aspect of not only the
closeness but it's also thislike we hear this in like
religious conversations a lotthis like spreading of the seed.
That, I think, is like reallyexciting for people and this
idea of like, of legacy and, youknow, having that be something
that is carried on.

(28:22):
And so there's not just thislike thing that's happening in
the immediate, there's also thisthing that's going to then like
grow and develop and like meansomething bigger.
And so I think, you know,emotionally and psychologically,
there's aspects of that.
I also think, spiritually, thisidea of like creating life,

(28:46):
giving life, bringing life,bringing that energy is really
appealing to people.
I mean, if you're a creativeperson and you love to create,
maybe you don't want to have akid, maybe you don't ever want
to be pregnant, but is theresomething that's really powerful
or interesting or intriguing oror I don't know a curiosity

(29:07):
within you of what would it feellike or what would it be like
to have that sort of energy orembody that type of energy, and
I think that for some people,just the fantasy of that could
be really exciting, even througha process of grief.
You know, I think about grief.
When I was thinking about thepregnancy kink, I was thinking

(29:30):
about grief and I was thinkingabout people who maybe want to
have children but, for whateverreason, are not able to have
children, or they adopted or usea surrogate or whatever it may
be, and there may be grief forsome people around that.
And so a pregnancy kink is away to sort of embody or explore

(29:52):
that, even though you've nothad that experience, and so I
could absolutely see how thatcould potentially be healing for
somebody not to say that it'sgoing to be for everybody or
that it's like an answer rightTo like healing somebody's grief
around this, around parenthoodor whatever, but I can see how

(30:13):
there may be an aspect of thatthat could be really comforting
to somebody.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
Because sex is healing.
I think people don't realizehow healing sex is and it can be
healing in all sorts ofdifferent ways, including this
way, and kinks are typicallyvery healing for people.
That's another thing thatpeople I don't think understand.
Something I was just thinkingabout that I know other people

(30:41):
have talked about I certainlydid not experience this is some
women may be turned on by theidea of a pregnancy kink.
Uh, because of the way they getreceive attention and care and
nurturing when they're pregnantright, if they have a good

(31:01):
partner.
The partner is like helpingthem out, bringing them food in
bed, almost like worshiping themin a goddess-like manner.
So I could see that beingsomething like if, if you just
feel like you needed to be dotedon and appreciated for the
incredible you know women arewe're all goddesses we can

(31:25):
literally build a human insideour body and push it out into
the world, which is crazy whenyou really think about it.
It's crazy and amazing all thetime.
All the time I could see how,if you're feeling the need for
that kind of like worship andbeing doted on, that could be

(31:46):
fun.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
Yeah, and as you're saying that, I'm even thinking
about just the mental load,right, like the mental load of
motherhood is talked about somuch.
Although I argue it's the mentalload of parenthood, right, I
think that that is supergendered and like doesn't
necessarily need to be.
But you know, if you're in arelationship where the agreement
is that this person always doesthe yard work and this person
always does dishes, and thisperson's responsible for the

(32:09):
Costco run and this person'sresponsible for the laundry and
whatever, whatever, and thenthere's a pregnancy, some of
that may shift and so even justlike the novelty of having a
different set of like householdresponsibilities or negotiating
that with a partner, right, Icould see how somebody would
want to, even then, after givingbirth, you know get back into

(32:29):
that role play because it's like, fuck, I hate doing the fucking
dishes, so like, or, or I hatepulling the weeds, or whatever.
And so it's like, can I just bepregnant in this day or in this
week or in this month, and wehave this negotiation about
what's going on in terms ofhousehold responsibilities, like
I could even see that beingsomething that would be a huge

(32:50):
turn on for somebody.

Speaker 1 (32:51):
Right, right, okay, all right.
So there you go, guys, thereyou go.
Sky's the limit.
Like I said, sky's the limit,sky's the limit.
And that is the beauty of kinksin general is it's expansive to
your intimate life.
And when I say intimate, I'mnot just talking about PNV sex
here, folks, remember, we'retrying to pull away from that.

(33:12):
We're talking about theintimate play space, adventure,
space, connection space, whichis so much bigger than just
sticking the dick in and gettingoff or whatever, grinding two
vulvas together, whatever you'redoing.
So I want to move on to thelactation kink, and what could

(33:35):
it look like?
What does it look like?
What is all included in, orcould be included in,
participating in the lactationkink, because I know that there
are several different ways.
I've seen this play out Period.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
Let's talk about I'm so curious, I'm like okay, well
what ways.
Have you seen it played out?
I mean, I can share the waysI've seen it played out.
Um, but yeah, anyway, um, Iwill.
I'll kick off with a personalstory.

Speaker 1 (34:08):
I mean I wouldn't say it was the kink.
I think in fact I can.
I helped somebody confirm itwas not their kink.
After I can still just I canstill see his face.
After I had my first child, Iwas a single mother, uh, for

(34:29):
almost two years and I breastfedfor a year to year and a half
and you know it takes a whileafter you stop breastfeeding for
your for the milk to go away.
And I at some point starteddating this man who was sure he
was crazy about me.
And during sex, of course, likeI've got these, the only time

(34:52):
in my life I had theseridiculously large boobs.
It was with my first baby, lotsof milk coming in.
And I will say this first ofall it's something that is not
often talked about, that I, butI can tell you almost every
woman who lactates wellexperience is sexual pleasure.
While breastfeeding, there islike I mean, that area is being

(35:19):
stimulated and it will cause thepussy to wake up.
Not always, but you know it canbe very disturbing to a woman
who's been told her whole lifethat that.
You know that's not what you'resupposed to feel.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
This is so disturbing to women, and so many women
experience this and are soscared to talk about it because
they're like, oh my fucking God,what is wrong with me?
Like this is sick.
Like oh my God, I'm like beingsexually turned on by my infant
and it's like, listen, that'snot what's happening.
Right, that's not what'shappening.
It's like the nipples are in aerogenous zone, so there is

(35:53):
going to be pleasure associatedwith that.
Also, you're having this likebeautiful bonding experience,
potentially with your baby.
For other people it's not sobeautiful and not so bondy.
Sometimes there's pain and allof these things, but, all that
being said, it's like thenipples are in a Rogers zone.
So if you're breastfeeding yourchild and, as you say, the
pussy wakes up, there's nothingwrong with you.

(36:13):
There's nothing wrong with you.
No there's nothing.

Speaker 1 (36:17):
Let's just put that out there.
Yeah, let's put that out there.
But let's also talk about and Iknow this was long, long time
ago because it was way before Ihad babies I remember and I
think, why it was kind ofshocking at first.
I remember watching some newsstory about a woman who had that
experience happen and shecalled I don't know if it was a
nurse helpline or whatever- andsaid oh, I'm having this

(36:39):
experience, and it resulted inCPS showing up at her doorstep
to take her child from her.
So just to be clear just to beclear, and especially in the
political climate we are intoday, uh, it makes sense that
women are afraid, and then likethere's not enough information

(37:00):
being given to them and they'relike shutting that part of
themselves down.
But so, I mean, I was wiseenough and I already was
sexually educated enough to knowthat it was normal, but anyway.
So I'm dating this guy, andthen we, you know, we get into
bed, and it was the first time Ireally enjoyed having my
breasts played with, of course.

(37:20):
What happens, though, when youare engorged?
Someone starts playing withyour breasts as they start
leaking and sometimes, in mycase, shooting like they can
really like fountains manfountains, if you get really
stimulated.
And so we decided to experimentwith him enjoying some of it.

(37:45):
Well, he was not prepared forthe fountain, and I think we had
been drinking alcohol a littlebit too, and he drank a little
too much of my milk, andapparently too much is too much,
because he promptly turned abright shade of green, and

(38:07):
really it was his, which he, itwasn't his kink, I don't know if
it was the, the, the traumamentally for him, or just like
that he, you know, really hadmade it, made his stomach.
He was a little bit weakstomached anyways, to be fair,
but he puked.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
Are you saying he vomited?

Speaker 1 (38:27):
He did not vomit, but he looked like he was going to
vomit and his sickness carriedover to the next morning and
afternoon, like he couldn't eatfor a good period of time
because he was just so freaked Ithink.
I think it was the combo of themental, because I'll tell you
this too this is another littlesecret.
I don't know that I'vementioned this on this podcast

(38:49):
before.
So once, after I'd had a baby,I was on a trip and it was the
morning and I had to getsomewhere and I needed my coffee
.
I cannot drink coffee black,and the coffee in the hotel room
did not come with milk.
And yes, folks, I'm not going tolie I'm like looking at my

(39:09):
boobs and I'm looking at thecoffee and I'm like what could
go wrong?
And here's what I can tell youit's actually sweeter.
Breast milk is actually sweeterthan cow milk.
And if you're willing to drinkthe milk of the cow, I mean what

(39:30):
?
What kind of little breast milk, you know?
So I did, I did, I did and Idon't regret it.
I didn't do it again, but youknow, I like to think of myself
as a resourceful woman.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
Absolutely.
That is resourceful.
I mean, if you need a little,you need a little milk in your
coffee.
You've got milk, go for it.
What I will say and what thatreminds me of because as we're
talking about the lactation kinkand I'm thinking about people
using breast milk as adults isthere's a lot of of like
bodybuilder culture that wantsbreast milk.

(40:08):
There are women who are sellingtheir breast milk to these
bodybuilders who are wanting toget really buff and really
ripped, and you can find it onCraigslist, you can find it
anywhere.
And so if you need a little bitof milk at the hotel for your
own coffee and it's coming fromyour body towel, for your own

(40:29):
coffee and it's coming from yourbody, well, if you are
ingesting somebody else's breastmilk, whether this is in a
sexual situation or you'rebuying it on Craigslist because
you're a bodybuilder and that'swhat you want to do, you have to
really consider, from a sexualhealth perspective, that breast
milk is one of the fluids thatcan transmit HIV and it can
transmit other diseases, and soI do always talk to my clients

(40:54):
who engage in this kink aboutthat specifically, because it's
really important that you knowwhere that milk is coming from
and that person's HIV status,because, again, it is one of
those fluids that can transmitHIV, and so that just made me
think of it when you weretalking about that.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
Yeah, no, I'm glad you bring up the safety factor.
It is a body fluid and gettingbreast milk on the black
market's probably not.
I do not recommend it.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
People are doing it all the time it is like
everywhere.
And I really, really don'trecommend it.
I really don't recommend it.
And breast milk, though, thatis coming from like a donation
bank they call it liquid goldfor a reason.
You know, it's really, reallyexpensive, and so I also can't

(41:46):
understand why some people wantto turn to a Facebook group or
Craigslist group where you canget this milk.
But again, from a healthstandpoint, that can be really,
really dangerous, whether that'sfor a child or for an adult,
and so that's the one caveatthat I'll put in there.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
All right, we're learning a lot today.
Folks Also don't take milk frombabies who need it.
Lactation like milk banks arethere for babies whose mothers
can't breastfeed and the babiesneed the nutrition.
So just side note.
But let's get back to the kink.
So I would say neither of mystory Well, I guess my first
story like would be me kind ofdabbling in the kink with

(42:29):
nameless guy.
I'm so sorry.
If you're out there andlistening, I still think about
your face after that experienceto this day.
Boy, what a trooper, though.
What a trooper, um, but the thecoffee was just a funny story
and it was like just a moment ofdesperation.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
So I would love to know the numbers on how many
moms have used breast milk intheir own coffee or tea or
whatever.
I'm sure it's.
It's like a remarkable amount.

Speaker 1 (42:58):
I would hope so.
I mean also, I feel like youshould be willing to taste what
your baby is tasting Like.
Just you should know what youshould.
I look, I feel the same wayabout my vagina.
I know what my vagina tasteslike.
Women need to understand thescent, the smell, the taste of
their own body because it helpsyou know.
You know what's healthy, what's, you know a lot.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
It also helps you know if something's going on.
That's right, it's like ifyou're in tune with that stuff.
You can often know like, hey,wow, that's pretty fishy, that's
smelling like BV, I need to gosee my OB and I need to have
them do a swab because I think Imight need some antibiotics,
right, and that is somethingthat is really really common,
that anybody can experience, oryeast or whatever.
And so, yeah, I mean I thinkknowing your body is always

(43:41):
helpful.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Yeah, and I think that feeding into the lactation
king, and yes, guys, we're gonnaget back to exactly what all
takes place in it.
But it brings me back to our,you know, being okay with our
own body fluids, being okay withour partner's body fluids again
, safe sex.
But let's say we're in a, youknow, consensually, consensual,

(44:04):
safe relationship, like sex hashas body fluids happening.
That's part of sex, and so it'shelpful to know what your own
body fluids are like.
And well, a, it makes you lessself-conscious because you
understand, and I would imagine,especially in the lactation
kink, that's such a vulnerablething for a woman who's actually

(44:28):
lactating.
But let's get to it.
So let's say, does thelactation kink always kick off
with a pregnancy and someone whois currently lactating?
Or B, can a woman actually makeherself lactate in order to
participate in this kink?

(44:49):
Do you know?

Speaker 2 (44:51):
They can.
You can actually inducelactation even if you have never
experienced pregnancy, which isfascinating.
It is more difficult than itsounds, right, or maybe it does
sound like it's difficult, it is.
There's a certain amount ofhormones right that need to be
happening.

(45:12):
There's different supplementsthat are out there.
There's a lot of differentthings, including, like even
suckling of the breasts, right.
That needs to happen often andconsistently, in combination
with these other sort ofhormonal and supplemental
interventions.
But it can be done and it isdone.
I also, in my research for ourconversation, read a really

(45:36):
fascinating study about a transwoman who also was able to
lactate as part of an adoptionprocess for her and her partner.
And so, with the hormones thatwere used by her medical
provider, right, and this um, umaction of sort of um, I don't

(45:57):
know, I'm like going like this,like I'm pumping, but you know
what I mean of like sort ofgetting it going, it was done,
and so I just think it was sointeresting and cool to learn
that.
And, yeah, I don't know that thelactation can always start with
you know a person who has beenbreastfeeding or is lactating

(46:20):
and you know now, like you'resaying, sort of in your example.
You know we're in a sexualsituation and there's this
letdown of milk.
That, again, is so common andcan happen for nursing moms
everywhere.
Right, it can happen in thegrocery store, it can happen
while you're driving, it canhappen, you know, because your
baby is crying.
It can also happen becauseyou're aroused.
It can just happen.

(46:41):
And so I think for some folksit just sort of like happens,
right, and then breast milkbecomes part of the sexual
encounter, the sexual situation,and then maybe there is a
curiosity or a wondering, right?
However, there are also folkswho just are actively seeking
out an adult nursingrelationship where they're

(47:03):
really looking for somebody whois lactating because they want
to be able to breastfeed fromthat person for the sole purpose
of sexual gratification.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
But not necessarily while having sex or with sex
included, correct?

Speaker 2 (47:21):
And for other folks, they may be seeking an adult
nursing relationship not for thesole purpose of sexual
gratification but for otherreasons right such as comfort,
such as connection, such asintimacy.
I had a client that I workedwith many years ago who really
liked to breastfeed in themorning.
The same way somebody may loveto, for me I love to have a hot

(47:45):
tea on my couch with a blanketand be cozy right.
For them it was sort of likethe equivalent of that morning
routine, and so it was the onlytime that they did it and it was
something that was consensualbetween them and their partner.
And in the morning they hadthis routine of always nursing,
and it was a really comforting,connecting experience for them,

(48:08):
even though there was not anysort of explicitly sexual
activity in addition to thenursing that was happening in
this sort of smuggling, cuddling, close, intimate way.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
Now, can the kink take place when there's actually
no milk being made, or does themilk have to be present for the
kink to be fulfilled?

Speaker 2 (48:31):
Great question.
I don't know.
I mean, I think it would dependon the person.
I would imagine that for somefolks, like you were talking
about, the fountain aspect isreally important, right, like
the sort of speed at which theycan get the milk is a turn on or
, you know, really being able tofill their cheeks almost like a
chipmunk with, like these bigamounts of milk.

(48:52):
But for other folks, that maynot be as important, and so
there are also ways that youcould sort of mimic, right, that
there's lots of differentthings on the market.
I don't know what it's calledspecifically, but, like,
certainly there's something thatwill shoot anything you want
out of of a nipple if you areusing it in conjunction, you
know, with.

(49:12):
So there's definitely ways tolike simulate that as well, and
so I would guess that no, itdoes.
You know, the person doesn'tactually have to be lactating
for it to potentially work forthose people.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
Right, right, right.
I know that I have in my pornrabbit hole experience.
There was like one couple thatI kind of thought they owned the
market on the lactation kink,because they were like I don't
even know how I ended up there.
It was a while ago, who knows,could have been a hundred

(49:47):
different things that brought methere, but their content
actually I don't know that theyever had sex in their content.
It was just like him straightup, you know, like normal,
normal, normal looking peoplelike you.
These are normal.
Kink is normal guys.

(50:09):
You know all those people thatyou think I don't care if you're
going to church every Sunday.
Look around, look around.

Speaker 2 (50:19):
Yes, yes, oh.
I wish we talked about it more.
You know, people are so manypeople come to me and they're
just deeply, deeply in shame oflike, oh my God, is something
wrong with me.
I'm into this, but like I havea family and I have a job and I
like function and like I'm agood person and all of these
things, I'm like, yeah, yeah,all of those things are true,
and you can have a lactationcake, it's okay, that's okay.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
Right, it's not like it suddenly makes you any less
of a good person.
It's just a thing you enjoydoing, because sex is not dirty,
you know, within consensualrelationships.
But here's an interestingquestion In your experience,

(51:07):
distinct question In yourexperience, do certain
attachment styles tend to bemore interested in the lactation
or pregnancy kink?

Speaker 2 (51:16):
Oh wow, I have not thought about that.

Speaker 1 (51:22):
My question would be is there a way to use it to
correct some of the attachments?
I'm just thinking of some ofthe interesting experiment.

Speaker 2 (51:32):
I don't know if I would recommend that as a
therapist, although under theclose guidance of a sex
therapist.
I don't know, potentially itcould make sense, but it would
really have to make sense.
I've yet to come across that,but it's interesting because
when we think about attachmentwe think about sort of those
primary relationships.
When we're very young, that canoften be the thing that sort of

(51:55):
dictates our attachment style.
Although attachment styles canchange, I know that people think
that they can't, they canstyles can change.
I know that people think thatthey can't, they can.
Um, but yeah, I mean, there'scertainly somewhere in there.
There's, there's an overlap.
I just have not done specificwork around the lactation, kink

(52:16):
and attachment.

Speaker 1 (52:18):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, for me it would make sense that
it could definitely we talkabout like reparenting ourselves

(52:38):
to heal ourselves.
You know, yeah, yeah, somethingthat's nurturing like that.
Maybe you didn't feel you gotenough of being, you know,
provided for having your basicneeds met.
You know talking about someavoidant folks out there.
Maybe it's time to find thatpartner for some lactation

(53:00):
therapy.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
I don't know, and if it's consensual and it's working
for those people, great.
I also think that if you'regoing into that with the
expectation that is going toheal some attachment wound or
some attachment stuff, that's areally tall order right.
There's so much more to it thanthat and so I think it could be
an aspect of healing.

(53:26):
I don't think that it's goingto be the end, all be all for
anybody there.
Rarely, rarely if ever, is onething that is the thing that is
going to you know, heal you andyou know, then your healing
journey is over.
That's just not real, right.

Speaker 1 (53:44):
Right, right, right.
Well, let's talk about thepractical side of these kinks.
A lot of people have a hardtime sharing their kinks with
their partners.
If you are somebody who islistening to this and you're

(54:04):
like, I definitely am turned onby that.
It's something I've beenwanting.
And let's say, first of all, ifthey have a partner, if you
have a lactation or pregnancykink and you have a partner, how
do you start the conversationwith them without causing them
to give you the what the fucklook in response?

Speaker 2 (54:29):
Question.
I think this could be true ofany kink, right?
I think a lot of times, folksare really really nervous going
into a conversation with apartner or partners around a
specific thing that they'rewanting to experience sexually,
and so I think number one isfinding a dedicated time, right?
They say oftentimes, like thebest time to talk to your like

(54:49):
teenage kids is like whileyou're driving and you're trying
to make it like real casual.
This is like not one of thosesituations.
Okay, you're not going to belike on your Sunday morning
stroll walking the dog, and thenall of a sudden slip in like,
hey, and, by the way, I'd reallylove to use the breast pump
this weekend while we're fucking.
Right, like that's probably notthe way to go about it.

(55:11):
Really, finding a time whereyou can connect with your
partner or partners with theintention and them knowing that
we are coming into aconversation about sex and our
sex life, how we connect, etc.
Right, so that they can kind ofbe in that headspace.
Typically, I think when peoplesay, hey, I need to talk to you

(55:32):
about something, people need tobecome really anxious to begin
with, and so the more clearly wecan communicate hey, I really
want to talk to you aboutsomething.
It's making me feel a littlebit worried.
I just want to run this by you.
It has to do with our sex life.
It's not bad, but, like, can wefind a time to talk Right and

(55:55):
really kind of setting it up?
The other thing that I thinkfolks can do is say, hey, I
listened to this cool podcastand there was this sex therapist
on there.
I always tell my clients I'mlike, blame it on me, say the
sex therapist brought it upright, like the sex therapist
was talking about how peopleexperience like a really wide
range of sexual interests, and Irealized that we've never
really talked about that verymuch.
You know we've done the thingsthat we've done and sure, we've

(56:16):
had communication about what welike, but I think there are some
things that I would like to trythat we haven't tried yet.
And would you be open to goingthrough a sexual inventory which
, for the record and I can sendyou this so you can link it for
your listeners there are lots ofthese that are available and
there's lots of them where youcan kind of fill something in,

(56:38):
and so this is an exercise thatI often will have folks do in
relationships where it's like,oh, we're each sort of sitting
across from each other, we'regoing to check the boxes, we're
going to see where there'soverlap or not.
But it really opens up aconversation and is typically
really eye opening for folkswhere it's like, oh, I had no
idea you were, like, potentiallyinterested in age play, or I

(56:59):
had no idea you were interestedin exploring me.
Having an adult nursingrelationship with you, or
breastfeeding probably is whatyou would call it Right, but
something like that where youcan have this honest back and
forth with them.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
Right and and I also think it's important, something
that people don't do oftenenough I think you should have
weekly sex talk time, like onedinner a week, just like, hey,
let's set this time aside totalk about our intimacy and sex
life and what's going on andwhat we want and what you know.

(57:42):
And it's a judgment free zone.
And if you're already havingthose conversations, then to
start breaching kink isn't good.
You know, once you're used totalking to each other about sex,
then you can start expandingthe topic.
And I love the idea of the sexinventory because those lists

(58:02):
too's some wild shit on there.
So I mean the stuff thateverything from you know, like
you know your basic kink to likeholy, wow, didn't even know.
So they're gonna read the listand they're gonna look at yours
and look, don't worry, it'sgonna be surrounded by stuff
that's gonna have them mindboggled.
Yours is going to look likefucking soft porn.

Speaker 2 (58:32):
Let them know the breadth of what's out there.
Absolutely, I just want to suckon your tit.
Yeah, I was going to say toyour point.
I often encourage folks toschedule sex, and when I say
schedule sex, I don't mean thaton Saturday at 4pm you need to
be like naked in the bed andlike ready to go, but it is an
opportunity for you to connect,even if there ends up being no

(58:52):
sex at all, to connect about sexand intimacy and and your
connection and what that feelslike in the relationship.
And so if you are worried abouthaving this conversation with a
partner or partners, you couldstart by suggesting like, hey,
I'd really love for us to have aweekly conversation about our
sex life, or I would love for usto have a weekly time where we

(59:14):
drop in to experience each other, and that may just mean
snuggling naked in bed, or itmay just mean snuggling on the,
or it may just mean making outor whatever, whatever.
But if you start to get intothis routine of hey, we are
going to create time and spaceand our very busy lives to
connect and talk about sex andor have sex or whatever it may

(59:36):
be.
Getting into that habit isgoing to, like you're saying,
grow your confidence and yourcommunication in that
relationship to be able to bringsomething up that may feel
otherwise out of left field.

Speaker 1 (59:51):
Right.
So now let's talk to peoplethis is their little takeaway
who are single and they want toexperiment with the lactation or
pregnancy kink.
What do they do tonight tostart figuring out how to dabble
?

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
There's no lack of porn around this, although I'm a
big proponent of ethical porn,and so you know if you're
looking for porn around this,there's many ways you can get it
.
I don't think I need to tellpeople how to find porn.
It's one way that you could,you know, start to just get a
sense of what's out there.
I also think that you know whenwe're talking about, like the

(01:00:31):
pregnancy kink, depending onwhat is really arousing for that
person.
Start there.
Maybe the idea of taking apregnancy test is really hot for
you.
Maybe the idea of having like afood baby right, and you've
like eaten too much and yourbelly is sort of like expanded
in this way, maybe that feelsreally exciting and you want to

(01:00:52):
sort of create that and then gohave some time with yourself in
front of the mirror.
That could be a real turn onfor folks.
Maybe you want to watch birthingvideos, I don't know.
Maybe you want to be in thebathtub and you want to sort of
reenact this moment where you'reabout to give birth or you've
got this belly and there'ssomething really sexy that turns

(01:01:14):
you on about that.
Use your imagination, use thatrich fantasy life that we have
to imagine the ways in whichthis might be really pleasurable
for you and just experiment.
You know, it's like what ispleasurable for you or what is a
turn on for you, maybe reallydifferent than what you were
initially thinking when youlistened to this episode.

(01:01:36):
And so just be open-minded andsort of see where that goes, see
how it feels.
And if you start exploring andyou're like, actually I'm not
sure that I like like this orlike I don't really want to keep
exploring this, that's okay too.
Nobody's saying that you likehave to have a lactation or
pregnancy kink, but if there'ssomething about it that seems
intriguing, piques yourcuriosity, could be really

(01:01:58):
pleasurable.
Sky's the limit.
Use your fantasies and go wild.

Speaker 1 (01:02:03):
What about for men who are wanting a woman for that
?
Yeah.
What do you think about siteslike like um?
There's FetLife and there arefetish and kink sites where
people are looking to connect inthat way, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
Absolutely.
Absolutely, I mean, you couldfind somebody.
You know if this is somethingthat you're really wanting to
pursue, this is something thatyou really want to do.
There are ways to find andconnect with folks who are
consensually willing to providethat, and so go for it Right.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
There are tons of sites out there.
Just be careful.
I mean, honestly, I suppose youcould even use a typical dating
site and just put your kinknotice on the front of it, but I
would imagine there are plentyof people who want to remain
anonymous.
So there are sites like FetLife.

(01:03:04):
I think that's countrywideright.
It's not just local to portland, is it?

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
no, it's definitely not just local to portland,
that's at least nationwide right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:14):
So then you know, but vet vet people, obviously you
know well and again, from, likea sexual health perspective.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
just keep in mind, know it's like breast milk is
one of the bodily fluids thatcan transmit HIV, and so just
keeping that in mind as well,like knowing your partner's
status, is important, I think,no matter what, but that's
definitely something to be awareof if you are seeking this
service outside of arelationship or like a known
partner.
Just keeping that in mind.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
We're like a known partner.
They aren't going to yuck youryum.
They are going to be there tohelp you achieve what you want
to achieve, and then you knowthey understand the boundaries
around that.
So that is another optionthat's out there for you as well
.
You're always and you're alwaysgoing to be able to find
someone who's into what you'reinto.
Sometimes it just takes alittle bit longer to do the
search Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:04:24):
Absolutely.
But again, it's like, if youcan imagine it, if you're
imagining something that is hotfor you and you think you're the
only person out there, the factthat you can imagine it means
that somebody else is also doingit already.
So it is absolutely possible tofind somebody who's into the
same thing as you and noteverybody will be, and that's

(01:04:45):
okay.

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
Can you leave my listeners with any last pieces
of advice around this kink?
What fun.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
I mean that's what I would say about any kink.
It's like enjoy it, you know.
It's like this is supposed tobe pleasurable, whatever this
does for you, whether it is thatclose emotional intimacy that
you're seeking, or maybe thereis some kind of reparative
experience that you're lookingfor, or you just want to know
what the sensation would be liketo have something inside of you

(01:05:16):
, you know.
Whatever it is, go for it,enjoy it, be curious about it,
use lube and just see where ittakes you, and know that there
is nothing wrong with you forwanting to explore this.
Of course, consent is paramountthat is required but outside of

(01:05:37):
that, what you do with anotherconsenting person or with
yourself is meant to feel good,so go for it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:47):
I love it.
Can you tell my listeners wherethey can find you and get in
touch with you?

Speaker 2 (01:05:52):
Yes, you can find me at my website.
That is the main way I'm intouch with folks.
I am actually, like such a, nota big fan of social media.
It has its ups and downs, butmy website is
phasesofthemindtherapycom.
My email is there.
There's a million ways tocontact me there.

(01:06:13):
Folks also oftentimes, whenthey're looking for therapy
support, they will reach out tome via text, and so folks are
also welcome to text me and getin touch that way.

Speaker 1 (01:06:24):
Folks, you know how to get in touch with me.
If you are watching this videoon YouTube right now, please
feel free to drop your questionsand comments below in the
comments section.
We will try and get back to youand answer them, should you
have any.
So let me know what you think.
Do you have this kink?
What does it look like for you?

(01:06:47):
We cover everything uh that wepossibly could for two, plus
kinks uh that are associatedpregnancy, lactation.
We even threw in breeding.
I feel like that needs a closerlook.
But if you guys have questionsor comments, you can also email
me.
You can reach out to me atAnnette at TalkSexWithAnnettecom
.
But thank you so much forjoining me for this conversation

(01:07:09):
.
I feel like I learned a lottoday, I confessed a lot today
and I'm going to go rethink thatin just a minute.
Until next time, folks, I'llsee y'all in the locker room.
Cheers.

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