Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:19):
Do the sex pleasure
and desire Around here.
Nothing's off limits.
These are the kinds ofconversations we save for our
boldest group chats, our mosttrusted friends and, of course,
the women's locker room.
Think raw, honest and sometimesunapologetically raunchy.
If you've been here from thebeginning, thank you, and if
(00:40):
you're new, welcome to mypodcast.
Where desire meets disruptionand pleasure becomes power.
Now let's talk about sex Cheers.
Today's Talk Sex with Annettetopic is yes, you can spank her
like that, and here's how tomake it hot, not awkward.
(01:00):
Let's get something straight.
Spanking is not just foreplayNot awkward, let's get something
straight.
Spanking is not just foreplayDone right.
It's one of the most intimate,arousing and emotionally complex
kinds of play you can bringinto the bedroom.
And the numbers don't lie.
A 2020 study in the Archives ofSexual Behavior found that over
70% of women have fantasizedabout spanking or being spanked
(01:22):
In fact, fantasized aboutspanking or being spanked.
In fact, spanking is one of thetop five most searched kinks
online, but one of the leastunderstood.
Why?
Because most people aren'tdoing it right.
They're either too hesitant andawkward or too hard and
disconnected, like they'retrying to swat a fly off her ass
instead of seducing her withsensation.
(01:45):
But by the end of this episodeyou'll know exactly how to spank
her in a way that turns her on,builds trust and makes her ask
for more.
No paddles, no shame, no kinkexperience required, just you,
your hand and some very sexyknow-how.
But before we dive in, I wantto remind you that I'm over on
(02:06):
OnlyFans and there I am sharingmy sex and intimacy how-tos
demonstrations and audio guidedself-pleasure meditations all
designed to help you startexperiencing more pleasure and
having better sex.
Tonight you can find me therewith my handle at
TalkSexWithAnette.
(02:26):
You can also find me over onSubstack, where I'm doing a
whole lot of the same, and youcan find me there with my handle
at TalkSexWithAnette as well.
In fact, you may just find somespanking tutorials there that
you aren't going to want to miss.
But for now, let's dive in.
Let's get ready to talk aboutspanking Cheers.
(02:51):
So here's why spanking turns heron, even if she's never asked
for it.
Let's start with the science.
Spanking stimulates two majorsystems in her body at the same
time the somatosensory system,responsible for touch, pressure
and sensation, and the endorphinplus adrenaline response
(03:12):
triggered by intense rhythmicstimulation.
The slight sting of spankingcauses a mild stress response.
Her brain starts to releaseadrenaline, but when it's paired
with safety connection andarousal, that stress flips into
pleasure and her body respondswith increased blood flow to the
(03:32):
genitals, endorphin anddopamine release and a rush of
physical and psychologicalarousal.
And here's the wild part A 2013study in the Journal of Sexual
Medicine showed that people whoengage in consensual BDSM,
including spanking, have lowercortisol levels and more secure
(03:54):
attachment traits than those whodon't.
This isn't about trauma ordysfunction.
It's about creating eroticintensity within a framework of
trust.
We are going to start yourspanking journey with just the
hand, and here's why I know whatyou're thinking.
(04:15):
What about floggers, paddles,bells?
We're getting there, but todaywe're starting with your hand.
Why?
Because your hand is the mostintuitive tool you have, sensory
rich.
You feel how her body respondsin real time and connected to
your dominance.
The moment becomes personal.
(04:37):
Shows that touch involvingdirect skin-to-skin contact
versus tools is more emotionallybonding and more arousing in
early stage kink exploration,and for her, your hand carries
energy, power, heat.
That's what she wants to feel.
Let's get into the spankingwarm-up Touch.
(05:00):
Before you strike, before yourhand ever lands on her ass, you
have to build the moment.
Start with a slow caress.
Let your palm rest on one cheek, squeeze gently, let her feel
your presence, your intention.
Run your hand over her ass inwide, confident strokes.
Add pressure, then grip, thenpause.
(05:24):
Make it sensual before it'sspicy.
Then say something like youknow what I want to do to you
right now, or your ass looks toogood not to touch.
Let her feel how much you wantto spank her before you ever do
it.
That anticipation, before youever do it, that anticipation,
(05:48):
it's half of the arousal.
Then go in for a light, teasingsmack not a strike, just a
signal, a hello and watch herbody.
Let's start by breaking downthese three beginner-friendly
spanking positions and thepsychology behind each.
Number one is over the lap orover the knee spanking she's
face down across your lap, legsdangling off to the side.
(06:11):
This position is great forintimacy, control and whisper
direction.
It creates vulnerability in asafe, held position and the
psychological impact.
It's deeply connected toparental power but re-eroticized
through consent and adultcontext.
(06:31):
The second spanking position isbent over the bed spanking
she's standing chest against thebed or couch, ass arched
towards you.
This position is perfect forspanking during foreplay or mid
session.
You can reach around for a clipplay or penetration after.
The psychological impactpositions you above her and
(06:52):
triggers erotic submission.
The third spanking position isface down, ass up, pillow under
the hips if you're being polite.
She's laying on her stomach,hips elevated.
It's great for deeper impact,play and aftercare.
It feels passive but totallyreceptive.
(07:13):
The psychological impactcombines helplessness and
anticipation, withoutrestraining her.
Okay, now we've got ourpositions down, let's focus on
one of the most importanttechniques where to spank and
chow to do it right.
This is where so many people gowrong.
(07:34):
Spanking is all about placementand technique.
So here's where to aim.
Go for the fleshy lower part ofthe butt cheeks, where there's
more cushion and fewer bones.
Avoid the tailbone, lower backand hip bones.
You want to hit the sweet spotthat just jiggles when she walks
.
Here's how to strike.
(07:54):
Keep your fingers together,your palm relaxed but firm.
Hit with the meaty part of yourpalm, not your fingertips.
Think of it like drumming.
Let your hand bounce off herskin, don't slap through her and
don't overextend.
Here's an advanced tip.
Aim a little to the side ofcenter so each cheek gets its
(08:18):
own attention.
After each smack, let your handlinger, rub the heat into her
skin and show her that you'rewatching how her body responds.
Here is a spanking must.
Read her response in real timewith a green, yellow, red method
.
Consent is non-negotiable inany kind of impact play.
(08:44):
Not all spanking feels good allof the time.
That's why you need to read herlike a sex coach.
Use the green, yellow, redframework borrowed from
trauma-informed kink spaces.
Now, please note, you shouldtalk about safe words in advance
and you can use green, yellowand red as your safe word
(09:08):
directions during the spankingexperience.
But this is a great way for thespanker to actually see and
read green, yellow and red intheir partner's body responses
(09:32):
body responses.
As the person who is spanking,it is your job to stay
absolutely in tune with yourpartner as you spank them.
So green is yes, I want more.
Again.
They can verbalize this.
However.
She will show you in her bodywhen she arches her back, moans,
pushes into your hand.
Yellow, which means it's almosttoo much.
I may need you to slow down orstop.
(09:55):
Will show in her body when shestiffens, winces or stops
breathing.
This is your cue to slow downand to check in.
And red means stop.
This doesn't feel good, this istoo much.
She will pull away.
She may say no or red, or shemay look scared.
(10:16):
So stop immediately, noquestions asked.
When you see any of these signsin her body and look, you can
check in without breaking themood.
Say things to her like do youwant more?
Can you take more?
Is it too much Harder, softer,do you need me to stop?
(10:37):
Make consent part of theseduction?
Consent is sexy.
All right, here's the good part.
Let's talk spanking rhythmversus impact and why her brain
craves the build.
Rhythm isn't just for music,it's for arousal.
When you spank her in a steady,escalating rhythm, you're
mimicking something her bodyalready understands the cycle of
(11:00):
sexual tension and release.
Teasing strokes equalanticipation.
Increasing pressure equalsrising arousal.
Sudden sting plus praise equalsclimax energy.
This is neurosomatic play.
You're training her body toassociate spanking with dopamine
(11:20):
release and erotic pleasure.
That's why it works.
So mix it up Spank, rub, spank,pause or tap, tap, smack or
hold the cheek and then let itgo.
Give it a good grip and release.
Keep her guessing that edge ofthe erotic unknown is erotic
(11:44):
gold.
Here's why women crave spankingin the bedroom.
And no, it's not daddy issues.
Let's kill that myth right now.
Women don't want to be spankedbecause they're broken.
They want to be spanked becausethey're safe enough to
surrender.
Power exchange play allows herto let go of control, drop into
(12:04):
her body and feel taken, claimed, devoured in a way that's
consensual, conscious and hot asfuck.
A safe, well-timed spanking cangive her permission to get wild
.
It's not trauma, reenactment,it's freedom.
So tonight, don't just grab herass, command it, warm it up,
(12:27):
read her body, strike withintention and speak to her like
she's the most fuckablemasterpiece you've ever seen.
Spanking isn't awkward whenit's earned and when it's done
right.
She'll flinch every time shesits down tomorrow and smile
thinking about you and speakingof you.
(12:49):
If you are on your own intimacy,pleasure or sexual journey and
you would like a wing woman, asidekick, a cheerleader, a coach
, if you will, my sex andintimacy coaching books are open
and I'd love to work with you.
You can find out more about thatby going to my website, which
is TalkSexWithAnnettecom.
You can reach out to mepersonally at Ann, which is
TalkSexWithAnettecom.
You can reach out to mepersonally at Annette at
TalkSexWithAnettecom.
(13:10):
I would love to help youexperience more pleasure and
intimacy in your life, startingtonight, and if you have any
questions about this how-totutorial on spanking, please
feel free to reach out to me Nowif you are a listener.
You can go over to my YouTubechannel, which is at
TalkSexWithAnnette, and you candrop a comment below the video
(13:33):
and I will get back to you assoon as possible.
You can also email me at Annetteat TalkSexWithAnnettecom, or
scroll down to the notes in thisepisode and you're going to
find a link to my speak pipe andyou can leave me a message
there.
So I would love to hear fromyou and I'd love to help you on
your own spanking journey, ifyou are either wanting to spank
(13:55):
or you've got a partner who'sbeen asking you to spank them.
And until next time, folks,I'll see you in the locker room.
Cheers.