A single diagnosis turned Shannon's world upside down, and it all began with a shocking phone call about suspicious spots on her liver. What followed was a whirlwind of emotions and a decade-long journey through misdiagnosis, severe symptoms, and the pursuit of education in Jamaica, all while grappling with the fear of a potential liver metastasis. Amidst this personal health saga, she found solace in the unwavering support of loved ones and the invaluable lesson of listening to her own body. These trials and tribulations underscore the critical importance of self-care and the power of advocacy when faced with medical adversities.
Life with an ostomy bag and cancer was a struggle Shannon never anticipated, yet humor became a saving grace. Her candid reflections on living with an ostomy, coupled with an amusing anecdote from a campaign rally for President Obama, reveal the unexpected ways laughter can be found in life's toughest moments. This chapter of Shannon's journey, marked by initial shock and eventual acceptance, highlights the resilience required to maintain quality of life amidst medical challenges. Moreover, it illustrates the transformative power of relationships, particularly the deepened bond with her mother as they weathered these storms together.
Honoring the legacy of Lee Silverstein, Blue Couch Chat was born out of a desire to create a platform for authentic storytelling within the African descent community. Inspired by Lee's encouragement and supported by the Podfest community, this venture aims to raise awareness and inspire others facing similar health battles. With gratitude for the connections formed and the support received, Blue Couch Chat is dedicated to continuing meaningful conversations that embrace resilience, celebrate life's gifted time, and recognize the strength gained from overcoming adversity. Join me for a heartfelt exploration of the human spirit and the relentless pursuit of dreams.
FOLLOW US ON;
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/talkshitwithp
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Talkshitwithp
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TalkwhitwIthp
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@Talkshitwithp
Shop IG: https://www.instagram.com/Talkshitwithp.shop
LEAVE US A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCAST: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/talk-shit-with-p/id1509470001
AND SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL:
https://www.youtube.com/@Talkshitwithp
Support The Show (whatever you can)
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$TSWP20
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Tswp
Buymecoffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/talkshitwithp
Amazon Wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2M9Q4HNKRO2WA?ref_=wl_share
To Learn more on my story;
https://flow.page/tal...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
and I looked at her and I'm like what the fuck are
you talking about?
And my mom it was likeeverybody held their breath in
the room for a second, it waslike time stopped for a second.
And she said you have spots onyour liver that are suspicious
for metastasis, which we knew Ihad a high chance for right Now.
(00:21):
I know how high.
And she said you need to cancelyour trip.
We need to do a biopsy rightright Now, I know how high.
And she said you need to cancelyour trip.
We need to do a biopsy rightaway.
And I looked at my mom and thedoctor left the room so me and
my mom could talk.
And my mom didn't say anything.
And I'm like, mom, I'm going tocall Sean Johns real quick.
So I called my friend and I'mlike, hey, sean.
He's like what's up girl?
How's the doctor appointmentgoing?
I'm like, um, so about that, nomatter how messy shit happens.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Shit happens, shit happens.
Just FYI, this episode wasrecorded February of 2024 and it
is now February of 2025.
But with February being a monthof love, self-care and
(01:44):
self-love are very important,and health and wellness are a
big part of self-care andself-love.
So I hope you learned somethingfrom this episode.
Also, it's one year since welost Lee Silverstein.
We lost Lee last year onValentine's Day and this episode
(02:06):
was recorded right after welost him.
So here's to one year in heaven, lee.
You will miss that Podfest, butyour presence was felt because
you were represented well on andoff stage.
We miss you, we love you andhere's to celebrating you always
(02:27):
.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Enjoy everybody, hello, hello welcome back to
another Shit Happens session.
Oh my God, this person I'mgoing to be having a very
(02:49):
hurtful conversation with is mysoul sister.
I love this girl to death andI'm so proud of her and what she
has achieved in in the last twoweeks.
Um, and we're going to talkabout that, so let me go ahead
and bring on shannon to thestage.
Stay Bye-bye.
Welcome to Talk Shit with P.
You know I love talking shit.
Welcome to Shit Happens.
(03:11):
I keep forgetting that this isShit Happens, but it is part of
Talk Shit with P.
So, either way and yes, you dolike talking shit, so you're
right where you need to be.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I am because shit happens and I love talking about
it.
So it works.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
You know, shit happened to me, so yeah, shit
happened to you because, baby,you were misdiagnosed for
several years.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Like what the fuck yeah 12 years I had symptoms, um
, from when I was 17 went to mypediatrician.
I I have a stomach ache everyday.
I'm having blood in my stool.
The water was literally red,bright red water in the toilet
and he said, oh, you probablyhave an ulcer, Take some
(03:58):
antacids.
He actually said Zantac, whichwe know isn't good for us anyway
now, but that was in 1999 andthe symptoms just got worse and
worse over the years and then itgot to the point where it was
so persistent that I had to belike there is definitely
something wrong.
Somebody is missing something.
This is not just heavy periods,this isn't cysts, this isn't a
(04:20):
bladder infection, this isn'themorrhoids.
This has got to be something.
And yeah, it took another.
I was in Jamaica doing mybachelor's at the time and I'd
go to the emergency room and getdoped up on morphine for the
pain.
Not that I was a drug addict,but I would literally be doped
up on morphine and go straightto class and I don't know how I
(04:44):
got through it.
I finished my final year, I didmy.
I was actually admitted intothe hospital when I had to do my
final project for the end ofschool, for my final year, and I
did my final project while inthe hospital.
I was anemic, severely anemic,I could.
I was out of breath, justwalking a few steps and I had a
(05:05):
fever of 103.
They wanted to do a bloodtransfusion in Jamaica, which is
really risky anywhere, butespecially there.
And I said, why?
And they're like oh, probablyyour heavy periods, and I'm like
I'm eating healthier than ever.
How could my heavy periodscause me to be this anemic,
where you want to do a bloodtransfusion which is supposed to
be a life-saving measure?
And they couldn't answer me andI said if I'm anemic and I have
(05:31):
a fever, then that tells methat I have an infection.
And they were like oh, youprobably just picked up a bug in
the hospital.
So I got out of the hospital,my mom came to help me pin up my
work and for the presentation Ididn't stay for the
presentation.
So my work and you know, forthe presentation I couldn't even
I didn't stay for thepresentation, so my work just
had to speak for itself and Iwas like I pray I pass so I can
graduate.
(05:56):
And I flew up to Miami for whatwas a 20 something opinion.
By then I'd seen so manydoctors in Jamaica and came up
here and couldn't get, didn'thave insurance and there were no
here and couldn't get, didn'thave insurance and there were no
appointments with the publicclinic until like six months out
and no doctor would see mewithout insurance.
And one day I just felt like Ifelt my energy leaving my body.
I can't really explain what Ifelt.
(06:19):
It wasn't pain I mean, I hadpain, pain before like really
bad pain where I felt like analien was trying to rip its way
out of me.
This wasn't that.
It wasn't pain.
It was like I literally justfelt like I was fading.
You know, like, yeah, and Iwent to my mom and I said, mom,
I'm either going to have reallyhigh medical bills, which is
(06:41):
what I was trying to avoid, oryou're going to be paying for my
funeral.
And we went to the emergencyroom that was Wednesday, June
17th and they did an ultrasound,said I had cysts and sent me
home, Didn't admit me.
And then, two days later, mymom came home from work and I
(07:01):
was.
My stomach was distended, noteven bloated.
It was like she said, I lookedlike a dead frog.
You know how dead frogs theirstomach?
Yeah, she said like my stomachwas like out there, just bloated
and hard, and my skin wasturning orange.
And I was in such bad pain atthis time that my eyes were just
weeping and I couldn't even cry, I couldn't sob, my jaws were
(07:23):
locked with the pain and shesaid we're going back to the
emergency room.
And she said I don't care ifthey call the police on me, we
are going to stay there until weget answers.
And I went to that same hospitala very small hospital here in
Miami that's part of the publichealth system.
They did an ultrasound AgainI'd had like 20 ultrasounds done
in the past like two years.
(07:43):
Again I'd had like 20ultrasounds done in the past
like two years saw no cysts.
And so they said let's do a CT.
And when they did the CT, I hadan abscess in my abdomen about
this big and had a hundred cc'sof fluid in it which is almost
like a water bottle, and I had Ecoli and five other bacteria in
my bloodstream.
I was in sepsis and my body wasshutting down, Ended up in ICU,
(08:05):
had to finally get the bloodtransfusion.
I didn't have a choice at thatpoint.
It was a life-saving measureand I had six doctors on my case
and they were like, well, wewant to do surgery.
And I'm like, okay.
And they're like, but we can'tdo surgery.
And I'm like, if you have sixdoctors who want to do surgery,
(08:25):
why can't you do surgery?
They're like, well, the surgeondoesn't want to do surgery.
And I'm like, why doesn't thesurgeon want to do surgery?
Because surgeon makes moneywhen you do surgery.
So they said, the surgeon sawmy chart, saw that I was a
single 29-year-old female withno children, and he did not want
(08:47):
me to end up with an ostomy.
The surgery was very riskybecause of the fact that I had
been in sepsis and I could bleedout on the table.
So he decided that the best waylooking out for me would be to
treat the infection, get theinflammation down and then do a
colonoscopy, which is far lessinvasive, far less risky.
(09:09):
But that infection kept oncoming back every month over
four months and finally thefourth time.
He was just like we can't getyou to the colonoscopy, you keep
getting this infection.
This is life-threatening.
We need to figure out what'sgoing on.
At this point they were finallylooking in the right area.
They were saying it wasprobably diverticulitis, Crohn's
(09:30):
colitis, um, they were evenlooking to see if I had some
kind of parasite.
Um, I mean, they were lookingat everything under the sun.
It was like an episode of house, how they were trying to like
solve the problem.
You know, like I really feltlike I was in an episode of
doctors.
Can one person have on theircase, right?
Speaker 3 (09:50):
At that point you're like can I have doctor house?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Well, my doctors all of my doctors were like having a
doctor house.
They were so amazing and we.
They were funny and they reallycared about me and they were
invested.
And they were funny and theyreally cared about me and they
were invested and they reallywanted to save my life and find
out what the problem was.
So I was really blessed at thatpoint that I finally had
doctors who not only listenedbut wanted to figure out what
(10:15):
the F was going on, when nobodycould figure it out.
And so at this point he saidwe're going to have to do
surgery.
So I went into surgery thenight.
He loved working overnight.
That's why we're best friends,cause he I'm a night owl, as you
know I don't sleep and he wouldcome into my room at two
o'clock in the morning and justflip the light on and be like
what are you doing up?
(10:35):
And I'm like, what are youdoing here?
He's bright eyed and bushytailed.
I'm like, okay, dude has issues.
So we went into my surgerySaturday night because that's
what?
Not Saturday night, but it wasOctober 4th, that's when he does
his best work and what wassupposed to be a 45 minute
exploratory surgery ended upbeing over 10 hours of a
life-saving surgery where heunder for 10 hours.
(11:00):
It was under for at least 10hours, yeah.
So he opened me up and he foundcancer.
Luckily he didn't do itlaparoscopic, or I probably
wouldn't be here.
He found cancer.
He found colon cancer, stagethree C.
When he opened me up he thoughtit was stage four because I
(11:21):
looked so bad inside.
I was such a mess, he said.
He said my insides were fallingapart like wet newspaper.
When he would pick up myintestines it would just.
He took a foot of my colon andin that foot I had between 15
and 20 polyps at 29, as aperfectly healthy young woman,
(11:41):
and he cleaned me up and heclosed me up and a week later my
mom asked the doctors to nottell me about my diagnosis until
I was lucid.
It took me a week to come out ofall the pain meds because I was
under severe pain and all ofthe anesthesia, that fog.
(12:02):
It took me a week to be lucidagain and coherent and not be
hallucinating.
And finally, the first thingthat I remember is I had my
doctor sit down on my bed, puthis hand on my knee and he said
so you know, we did surgery.
And I'm like, yeah, I rememberthat, I remember that.
And he was like well, and hewas taking a really long time to
(12:28):
tell me what the F he had totell me, paula, like he was
going so effing slow.
I'm like, oh my God, I ameffing dying.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
You're like just get with it.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
He's like so you know , we did surgery.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
And I'm like, yeah, and he's like, well, we opened
you up and I'm like yeah isn'tthat something you need to do in
order to do surgery?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
open me up and then he was like and then it was like
, once he got to that point, itall went like fast after that,
like he couldn't even get it outfast enough.
And he was like well, yeah,stage three, see adenocarcinoma
of your colon, your T1, M0,da-da-da-da-da one, whatever.
And then he was like so I heardhe's like so you basically have
(13:16):
colon cancer.
That's what adenocarcinoma ofthe colon is.
I'm like I he's looking at melike I'm weird, but I'm just
like I thought I was going outof my mind.
Like when you're in pain andyou're sick and you're having
diarrhea and constipation andyou're throwing up and you're
nauseous all the time, and thenyou're tired all the time and
(13:37):
doctors can't find out what'swrong with you so you're just
excited that there's an answerFinally.
I was so relieved I was likewell, at least now I know what
the fuck I'm fighting.
It's not some alien in my bodythat I think is there and
nobody's seeing.
You know what I mean.
(13:57):
I'm like okay.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
How cool would it have been if an alien was inside
your body trying to take overyour body.
That would have been.
If an alien was inside yourbody trying to take over your
body, that would have been socute.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
But technically that's kind of what cancer is,
right.
I mean, when you really thinkabout it, that kind of is what
cancer is, just on a microscopicscale.
That's how I looked at mycancer, like I was fighting this
invisible alien in my bodytrying to kill me.
And at least now I knew whatthe F I was dealing with.
I knew I wasn't crazy.
(14:28):
But here's the next part.
He then said cause?
Then I was like okay, god, wegot this.
It's going to be one heck of afight, but I know we're going to
get through this.
That was my thought.
I was good.
I was good.
You know, I was a littleshocked but I was good.
And then he said and you havean ostomy.
And that's when my entire worldfell apart because I did not
(14:51):
know how I was going to dealwith it.
He wanted me to look at it andhe pulled up my gown for me to
look at it and I cried and Ithrew up.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
What does that mean?
You have an ostomy?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yeah, because I don't know what the fuck it is and I
don't want to pretend like I do,okay, well, I appreciate that
and I'm glad that I can.
You know, a lot of people don'tknow and there's a really big
stigma about it, which is why Icouldn't cope with it, and I
wish that what we have now insocial media existed in 2011,
because now I see people livingwith it young, younger than me
and they're fine, and if I hadseen that then I would have
(15:30):
dealt better.
But what actually happened tome was he cut.
You know, your colon is shapedlike an upside down, you right,
and you have what is ascending,coming from your small intestine
up to your transverse, whichgoes across horizontal, and then
you have your descending andthen it curves like this and
goes down to your rectum right.
So what happened to me was mycancer was actually in my
(15:53):
descending colon, pretty closeto my rectum, and if it was a
rectal cancer diagnosis, myprognosis would have been a lot
worse, so I'm blessed in that.
So what he did was he actuallyremoved my entire descending
colon and because of the factthat he didn't know if my
margins were clear, and also thefact because I was so inflamed
(16:15):
he couldn't reattach me, he hadto give me time for my colon to
heal.
So what then happens is theystitch closed the end of my
rectum, the top part of myrectum.
They stitch that close, theystaple that closed and then that
part of my colon that's comingacross, they pull that out
through my abdomen.
And so when they pull that outthrough my abdomen, they split a
(16:39):
split and so you literally havea little ending.
It looks like your tongue.
It literally looks like yourtongue.
It literally looks like yourtongue.
It's called a colostomy.
There's also an ileostomy, butthat's where you poop through.
So you stick a bag onto yourstomach and you poop into that
bag.
So from your reaction you canimagine how hard that was for me
.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
So you would have a poop bag.
I had a poop bag, I touched it.
I had a poop bag.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
I touched it.
I had a bag of shit.
Yes, I had a bag of shit and Iactually to help me, you're
going to love this part I toldyou I love talking shit.
You're going to love this part.
To help me cope with it.
I decided to give it a name andI had an ex-boyfriend at the
time who I had really loved.
We lived together and his firstname was Andrew.
(17:25):
But I have a cousin namedAndrew, so I didn't want to name
my shit bag Andrew, so I gaveit his middle name and his
middle name was Hassani.
So I called my bag Hassani andpeople would ask me why the name
Hassani?
That's such an unusual name andI'm like I named my bag of shit
after a bag of shit.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Shout out to Hassani.
So how long did you have thepoop bag for?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
shit after a bag of shit.
So how long did you have thepoop bag for?
I had it almost a year and ahalf.
I had it for almost a year anda half.
Um, my surgeon wanted it to bepermanent and it really affected
my quality of life in a reallybad way and it made me not able
to enjoy my life.
It controlled every aspect ofmy life, from when I ate, when I
showered.
I had actually had a blowout.
We call it a blowout when itblows up and like explodes with
(18:10):
poop.
I had a blowout in my sleep inmy mom's friend's bed in New
York on a road trip.
I also had a blowout at acampaign rally for President
Obama.
I was literally six feet awayfrom him.
I was right next to the stagebecause I was a volunteer on his
campaign.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
And I had a glow.
You shitted on Obama.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Well, almost I shitted myself in front of Obama
.
He just didn't know, yeah.
So I had to run out and leave.
I had shit on my shirt and Ihad to cover it up with some
materials get some campaignmaterials and and leaving out of
curiosity, did your shit stinklike when it blew up?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
like how was the smell?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
it smells really, really bad when the bag leaks.
It is awful, it is awful and itis the hardest part of having
an ostomy when that happens.
Yeah, I mean it's funny afterit happens, but while you're
going, through it.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Uh, I'm pretty sure it took you also a long time
before you actually startedlaughing at that shit, like you
and them.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I actually really did have a poop bag, like you know
I didn't, I didn't laugh at ituntil I didn't have it anymore
so out of curiosity, because Iknow that can definitely affect
your mental health.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
I mean, you know, you , you're a pretty woman and at
29 that's like the other time,like you know, you're about to
be 30, you're in there, you'rein there.
So to have that, how was yourmental health, how did it affect
it?
How did you get through itmentally?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I honestly struggled um my mom thank god for my mom,
she was my primary caregiver andum, you know, to be honest, we
love other, but we have a lot ofwhere sometimes you can't have
two bulls in the same pen, right?
We're both very stubborn, we'revery, we're very strong headed.
The things that I love about mymom that also annoy me to heck.
(20:16):
I have all those qualities andsing for her.
So you know, we love each other, but we we knock heads hard
headed all the time, even now.
But we love each other.
But we knock heads hard-headedall the time, even now.
But we love each other.
I love my mom to death.
I would do anything for her andshe has shown me that she would
do anything for me, and canceractually healed our relationship
, as weird as it is.
(20:36):
But I couldn't deal with thebag a lot of times and so
sometimes I would just walk upto her or I'd call her and I'd
be like Mom.
And so sometimes I would justwalk up to her or I'd call her
and I'd be like mom, and shewould just know what that meant.
She knew it was time for a bagchange and she would come and
she would do it for me because Ijust didn't want to deal with
it.
Sometimes I dealt with it.
Sometimes it's so weird, paula,because sometimes I deal with
(20:57):
it like a champ, like one time Iwent to a doctor's appointment
and it was you.
You can't control it.
It's not like your anus whereyou can hold your poop with.
When you have an ostomy, itjust comes out naturally.
So you eat, it goes through youpoop.
So when I would go out withfriends I wouldn't eat because I
didn't want to have my bag showor have to change it.
(21:20):
It, it, just it.
It.
It was rough and real shit, itwas rough, shit was rough.
And I remember she was amazed.
Because here it is, I'm cryingevery night over having this
shit and this bag of shit andgoing through this shit.
And I told you I say shit a lot.
And one day we go to a doctor'sappointment and I had breakfast
(21:45):
on the way and my bag hadfilled up and I needed to change
it because it was showing and Ididn't like when it showed.
I didn't like people knowingthat I had it.
I didn't want to risk itblowing out, because if it fills
up too much it's going to justcome off.
You know, it's literally just,it's like just stuck to you with
tape.
It's like know it's not, it'snot, like it's it's yeah, so it
(22:06):
can just fall off if it gets wetor you get sweaty.
It it's really a tricky thing.
And, um, my, I had to change itand I just pushed the car seat
all the way back in the parkinggarage, take out my little kit
with my extra bag and stuff,take off my bag, put it in a
trash bag that I had in mylittle kit stuck on the new one,
(22:28):
and I said, okay, mom, we'reready to go.
I wiped my hands with some wetwipes and some hand sanitizer
and I'm like we're good to go.
And she looked at me and she'slike just last night I had to
change your bag for you andyou're crying, you just handled
it.
But I had times when I wouldjust push through, and then I
had times when I would just pushthrough and then I had times
when I just didn't want to deal.
You know, and it was just, younever knew how it was going to
go and yeah, that's basicallywhat some of the shit that I
(22:53):
went through.
So I finally got my bagreversed, my hospital reversed
in January of 2020.
2013,.
I was diagnosed October of 2011.
I went through 12 rounds ofrigorous chemo it's called full
Fox.
It's really hard on your body.
Each treatment was every otherweek and each treatment was
(23:16):
three days continuous.
So I still have my little chemoport I don't know if you can
see it.
So they would attach me tochemo on Wednesday.
I'd go in eight o'clockWednesday morning, actually have
to be there by seven, seven 30,start treatment at eight
o'clock, be there until aboutsix getting infusions.
Then at six they would attachme to a pump on in my port again
(23:41):
and I would go home with thatpump and then disconnect from
that pump Friday afternoon.
It again, and I would go homewith that pump and then
disconnect from that pump Fridayafternoon.
So two and a half, two andthree quarter days on chemo
straight, even while I wassleeping for every other week
for six months and I gained 60pounds in my first six weeks of
chemo 70 pounds altogether.
I'm still struggling to losethat weight.
(24:03):
So the body dysmorphia is real.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Isn't that kind of amazing how you gain weight,
because the idea of mostconstipations they lose weight
right.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
It had a lot to do with the steroids, because I
gained weight and I was barelyeven eating, and then it also
had to do with the fact that theonly things that I tended to
want to eat because I had noappetite was basically mashed
potatoes and popcorn, and Iwasn't eating much of it.
But, yeah, the steroids tend toblow you up and it can mess
(24:40):
with your metabolism and all ofthat.
So, yeah, yeah, but I'm alive,and I'm alive, you know, and I
call it my, I don't call it myextra time, I call it my gifted
time, and the way that I look atthat is what am I going to do
with the gift that God gave me?
How am I going to pay that giftforward?
Speaker 3 (25:02):
and we are going to talk about that.
But first, you have been cancerfree for 12 years, am I right?
You are right, andcongratulations for getting
through that.
I mean for getting through poopbag, shit bag, and getting
through that and coming on theother side and realizing that yo
(25:26):
, yes, life can be fucking tough, but there's other shit, right.
So these little things don'tbother you as much, because if
you can get through that, right,what is this little shit?
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Like I mean, I remember I was working when I
first started working, you know,after getting through that.
So I managed to get out of thehospital after six weeks in the
hospital, almost dying.
I had lost so much muscle mass.
I had to relearn how to walk,basically, and do PT in the
hospital, starting with a walker, regain my strength.
(26:02):
And after being in the hospitalfor six weeks and about to be
discharged, my surgeon said notso fast there, I'm ready to sign
the paper.
I'm like yo, I want to go home.
And he's like not so fast there.
I'm like okay, what's up?
He's like you've been out ofbreath and your heart rate is a
little elevated.
I want to run some tests.
And he kept me for anotherthree days, ran tests, every
(26:24):
test under the sun chest x-ray,chest ultrasound, ct, all of it,
heart monitor, stress test andit turned out I had a pulmonary
embolism so I could have gonehome and died.
You know that Tuesday I had myfirst oncology visit that
(26:45):
Thursday.
Flew out to Jamaica Fridayevening, walked in my graduation
Saturday morning, had a littlebrunch party Sunday, took my
photos Monday morning, flew backto Miami Monday afternoon and
had my first chemo that Thursday.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
There you go.
First of all, congrats forgraduating, because I remember
you were kind of not sure if youwould even be able to graduate,
since you didn't present yourproject.
You let the project presentitself for you.
That's incredible to be able togo through all that and still
(27:24):
do your finals and still make itfor graduation like you should.
You should be very proud ofyourself, like for being able to
overcome all that bullshit I'mjust stubborn as shit.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
My mom says I'm defiant, but that defiance got
me through so much and I thoughtit's that jamaican blood in you
, you know it is.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
It's that Jamaican blood in you, you know it is.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
It's that scotch pepper in my blood.
Um, no, I, um.
I think what it was was that Ihad almost died to get that
piece of paper and so what wouldbe the point of getting it if I
couldn't go and get it inperson?
And there was actually an emptyspace next to me at the end of
the aisle because we thought Iwas going to need a wheelchair
(28:08):
because I was so weak and I'dlost so much weight and I was
able to walk.
I needed help.
I had two classmates, onegentleman on each side of me.
I was escorted up the aisle.
I was able to walk across thestage on my own in heels this
high, because I said I was goingto walk in heels.
I wasn't going to just walk, Iwanted to rock ass heels.
(28:30):
And I walked across the stage,got my degree and walked down
and then had help back to myseat.
But I did it and then, likethat wasn't enough because I'm
crazy, and then, like thatwasn't enough because I'm crazy,
I, when I did my ostomyreversal, I got out of the
(28:51):
hospital and two days later,with 60 staples still in my
abdomen, I applied for mymaster's degree for architecture
at Florida InternationalUniversity.
I worked on my portfolio and myapplication while in the
hospital after my surgery,finished it up and went and
dropped it off the final day, onthat Friday, and I got in to do
my master's.
And then, crazy again, thatsummer, before I was to start my
(29:16):
master's, my friend, sean Johns, who I love.
He got me the opportunity towork in England for two months
with a design build firm thatdoes luxury housing for people
over there outside of London andCobham, and I was ready to book
my flight.
I had just gone in for resultsfrom my scans just routine.
This is what, two years aftermy diagnosis, at this point,
(29:40):
2013, I was diagnosed in 2011.
So I knew there was still.
I just read Tala.
This is how much I avoidedstatistics.
I just I just researched thestatistics for stage three C
colon cancer.
With stage three C colon cancer, you have a 70 to 80% chance of
recurrence within the firstfive years.
(30:00):
I just found that out because Ididn't want to know that when I
was going through it.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
And it would have fucked up with your mind and it
would have even made you notfight as hard because you'd be
like what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Yeah, I mean my doctors told me I had a high
chance of recurrence.
They didn't tell me how much,but I mean they could have told
me numbers, numbers, numbers.
You know, even if you, if it's99 percent chance, somebody has
to be that one percent.
So I don't really havestatistics in mind anyway, which
is important to know Right,like if somebody says you have a
50, 50 chance of living ordying which is basically what I
(30:37):
had, it's still pretty goodchances.
Somebody has to be in that 50and somebody has to be in the
other 50.
And I've seen that Right, andnumbers don't tell you what side
of the numbers you're going tobe on.
They're just numbers, they'reaverages.
So I applied for my master's.
I'm there.
I want to go to England to work.
I'm waiting for the medicalclearance from my doctor,
(30:59):
expecting that my scans aregoing to be clear.
They'd always been clear.
I did them every three months.
They were always clear for twoyears.
And she says I'm ready to bookthe clear.
I did them every three months.
They were always clear for twoyears.
And she said to me I'm ready tobook the ticket.
I literally found an $800 roundtrip flight, which you know is
nothing.
And she came in and she saidI'm sorry, you have to put your
trip on hold.
(31:19):
And I looked at her and I'mlike what the fuck are you
talking about?
And my mom it was likeeverybody held their breath in
the room for a second.
It was like time stopped for asecond.
And she said you have spots onyour liver that are suspicious
for metastasis, which we knew Ihad a high chance for Right now
(31:41):
I know how high.
And she said you need to cancelyour trip.
We need to do a biopsy rightaway.
And I looked at my mom and thedoctor left the room.
So me and my mom could talk.
And my mom didn't say anything.
And I'm like, mom, I'm going tocall Sean Johns real quick.
So I called my friend and I'mlike, hey, sean, he's like,
what's up, girl, how's thedoctor appointment going?
I'm like, um, so about that,you're my friend and so I want
(32:04):
to know your input because I'mstaying with you and so if
anything happens to me, you'regoing to be the one who's going
to have to handle whatever'sgoing on.
And he was like, okay, and I'mlike, they saw spots on my liver
.
They think it might be cancer.
I still want to come, but Iwant your opinion.
And you know he said to me thisis why I love him and we're
(32:26):
still friends.
He said, girl, still come.
Whatever you have is not goingto kill you in six to eight
weeks.
And my mom thought I was crazy.
And you know my doctor thoughtI was crazy.
But here's my way of-.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
I would have done the same shit.
I would have been like listen,this is a once in a lifetime
opportunity.
If I die over there, at least Igot to experience it, and I'm
dying in London.
If I come, if I'm not meant todie, I'll be back and we'll get
into it.
If I was being diagnosed forhow many years?
And I still fucking madethrough the shit, I think I can
(33:06):
survive six to eight weeks.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Exactly so.
I looked at my mom and I saidmom.
I looked at my doctor and Isaid Dr Dwar, let me tell you
something Like my career and mydreams are the one things, are
the two things that cancer hasnot killed and I refuse to let
cancer take from me.
Right, and I?
I said if I don't go to Londonand I find out I have cancer,
(33:37):
I'm going to be pissed.
If I don't go to London and Ifind out I don't have cancer,
I'm going to be even more pissed.
And I said if I go to London,come back and find out I don't
have to have, I don't havecancer, I'm going to be happy.
And if I went to London, comeback and find out I don't have
to have, I don't have cancer,I'm going to be happy.
And if I went to London andfind out I have cancer, I'm
going to be happy.
I went.
So the only way that I'm goingto be happy is if I go right,
Cancer or not.
Like you said, Paula, cancer ornot, the only way.
(33:58):
So I went and I came back and Istarted my master's still
thinking that I might have stagefour cancer.
But my way of thinking of itwas.
I don't have stage four untilthey tell me, I have stage four.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
So what happened?
Did you go get checked?
Did you have it, did you not?
Speaker 1 (34:19):
So it took many biopsies, many tests.
It took five years.
I did not find out that I didnot have cancer in my liver
until 2018.
It took five years, five years.
So at least you went to Londonand I did my master's and I
(34:41):
lived my life and I started mycareer and and I I lived my life
and I started my career and Ilived my life, and you know
that's.
I might not have been stagefour, I was stage three C but I
understand people who have stagefour just living their life,
because we don't have a choice.
When you have cancer, no matterwhat stage, your life doesn't
(35:02):
stop.
Your life is on pause in a lotof ways, but you still have to
find ways to enjoy it.
You still have to find ways todo things you'd never have done
before.
You still have to find ways toexplore and be adventurous and
try new things.
And you have to find ways tostill have dreams and goals and
to achieve them, especiallybeing young.
(35:24):
You can't just say I havecancer, f it, I'm not going to
live anymore.
You have to find ways to livedespite going through treatment,
despite going through tests,despite not knowing if you have
stage four or not, like for me-.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Despite the statistics Right Like for me.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
I no longer have a high chance of recurrence, right
, because I'm 12 years out.
So my original cancer comingback, that's a very low chance
of that.
However, I still have a highchance of having a new primary
cancer in my colon because I doa colonoscopy every year,
because it's preventative, and Ipush everyone to do a
(36:04):
colonoscopy, please.
I know we have to have thisconversation another time,
probably during March, forawareness, but our population,
our community, we are notgetting colonoscopies because of
the stigma.
We're afraid to talk about shit.
We're scared to talk aboutrectums, about anuses, about
colons, about all of that.
We don't want to have a camerastuck up our butt, especially
(36:27):
black men.
But we black men and blackwomen are the ones dying from
this the most and we're notgetting screened for it.
And it's preventative, like,just do a fucking colonoscopy
and just save your own life.
You know what I mean.
You need to do a colonoscopyand if you have any symptoms or
family history, you need to doit earlier, no matter your age.
And if you have any symptoms orfamily history, you need to do
it earlier, no matter your age.
I was 17 when I had symptoms.
(36:47):
Probably if that doctor haddone a colonoscopy, then it
probably would have been eithera really large polyp or stage
zero or stage one.
I wouldn't have had to gothrough all the shit I went
through.
I don't wish that shit on myworst enemy, so just do it.
And I do a colonoscopy everyyear.
I am so badass because I'vedone at least 12 colonoscopies
(37:08):
now, paula, I did my lastcolonoscopy prep on a plane, so
the preps are not that bad, andI was not in the bathroom the
entire time.
I was in the bathroom one timewhile on the plane, so there's
no excuse and they can reach outto me if they have any
questions or anything.
That's why I'm here, that's whyI'm doing what I'm doing,
because the only people who cansave our people is our people,
(37:31):
you know, yeah go ahead andspeaking of that before the time
goes out, because, if you allknow, Shannon can talk and she's
used to doing her lives forthree hours, but I'm trying to
keep mine under one hour.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
God forbid, she takes me past one hour because she
can't, she can't.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
I've said a lot.
I've said a lot in the halfhour.
I think We've gotten reallyclose, I know.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
I'm so proud of you.
I think I'm training you rightnow for your next one so you can
do better.
I'm better at the guest than ahost, which is.
It is some real shit.
You know there's differencebetween being a host and being a
guest, you know.
(38:18):
So, um, as of last fridayyou're two weeks in you launched
your new baby, and what abeautiful launch that was.
And I think what I like, whatgravitated me to you when I met
you last year and what hasgravitated us throughout this,
(38:40):
is both of us in our podcast.
We wanted to well, my podcastand your live stream.
We wanted to create a place, asafe space for people to talk
about their shit.
We might have faced itdifferently, but it kind of
means the same, you know, and wehave done that by launching
(39:04):
your live stream last week, blueCourt Chat.
So let the people know a littlebit about that and share a
little bit about your launch,because that was a special
launch and I know we might cry abit, but let's see if I can get
(39:24):
through this.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
When I was diagnosed, social media was not really
existent.
You would see blogs, you wouldsee little threads, you might
have chat rooms, aol, msnMessenger, things like that.
It wasn't this, it was highfive, remember high five.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Oh my God, yes, five, oh my god, yes, but it wasn't
this right.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
It wasn't what we have now.
And so when I was diagnosed asa 29 year old who loved
computers and was always on theinternet, I couldn't find
anybody like me.
So I happened to find one younglady.
She was my guest last night formy second episode, grace.
I came across her blog, and herblog changed me because it was
like she was diagnosed at 37.
(40:14):
I was 29.
She was a few years out and sheshared her entire journey, and
so I finally was like okay, nowI kind of know what to expect
and I know I'm not alone.
Then, two years after mydiagnosis, I went to a
conference for colon cancer.
It happened to be in Miami.
That's where I met Grace inperson.
It was just a weird fluke thatwe met again at a table and I
(40:36):
recognized her.
And then I met this wonderfulgentleman, lee Silverstein, and
Lee, the first time.
I met him.
Paula, you know, you only needto meet Lee once for him to
impact your life forever.
I met him once.
That time I met him again andagain, and again and we became
friends.
Lee told me that I needed toknow that I had a voice and I
(41:02):
had a story that I needed toshare.
I didn't understand what hemeant then, but over the years
it became Shannon, you shouldhave a podcast.
And then it became.
You know what I need to do?
A YouTube, because we need tobe seen.
You can't represent throughyour voice.
And for colon cancer and thefact that I'm trying to get the
(41:23):
word out that we people ofAfrican descent are at a higher
propensity for having thisdisease.
People have to see I look likethem.
I also feel that people have tofeel me and know me and see me
crying and see me emotional andsee me smiling and see me
laughing and get to know me.
Right, Because I'm prettyauthentic.
(41:44):
Like Paula, you and I are thesame because we're just real.
Like what you see on camera iswhat you see in person.
We're just real, like what yousee on camera is what you see in
person.
You know what I'm saying.
It's no different.
So you know I just said I wantto be authentic, I want to just
be me, and that's who I becameon social media.
And then Lee has always beenencouraging me for eight years
(42:06):
to get into this platform andfinally, you know he's always
telling me about PodFest and Inever went.
He's always touting PodFest andhis PodFest fam never went to
PodFest.
I live three hours away, butlast year Lee got me a
scholarship for a free ticketand he said you have a free
ticket, now what is your excuse?
(42:27):
I expect to see you because Iwill be there and I'm having a
recurrence, and so I went, notonly because he gave me a free
ticket, but because he was goingto be there.
I really went more to see Leethan anything.
I didn't know what to expectfor PodFest and I've actually
had the Blue Couch chat channel.
I think I reserved it in 2021,paula Never did anything with it
(42:51):
, really, and I just kept onplanning how I want my set.
I want it to look like a talkshow, I want it to be special
all of this and um.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
You were dealing yourself with all this
perfectionist shit.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
I was all this fucking perfectionist shit and
um, I, um, I, like I.
I decided that I, when I sawLee, I found out Lee was in
hospice in January and I'm likeI really need to make this shit
happen.
And then I saw him at Podfestand I made the promise to him
(43:25):
because years ago I said, when Ido this shit, I want you to be
my first guest because you'rethe whole reason why the shit
happened.
Right, the good shit happened.
So he was supposed to be myfirst guest.
And when I saw him in Orlandoand I realized, girl, you can't
put this off anymore or youwon't be able to ever have Lee
see what he's made happen.
(43:47):
You won't be able to have Leeas your guest.
You won't be able to tell Leehow he's influenced you.
You know, because of Lee I wentto Podfest.
I met my friend Tim.
I ended up being now a co-hoston Tim's show on Wednesdays.
That let me wet my feet andfeel like this is my happy place
.
I enjoy this, although I getanxious about it because I'm shy
(44:07):
somewhat inside.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
I don't know about that, about that, I haven't seen
that shy part.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
You say I'm talking bullshit here.
I'm bullshitting here.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
Is this shit talking for real?
Speaker 1 (44:25):
I do have social anxiety.
When I get out in the spacethen I'm a total extrovert.
But to actually get there, Ihave this anxiety and even
coming on camera I have anxietyand I have to breathe through it
and then I'm okay once I'm oncamera, it's just this weird
thing.
Nothing in my life makes sense.
But I started Blue Couch Chatand I made the commitment, the
(44:47):
hard commitment, at PodFest,during the gratitude ceremony,
that I was going to start itwithin a week and I was going to
have Lee as my guest.
And then I told Chris that Iwanted it to be a celebration of
Lee and having guests on to sayhow they felt, and I'd be
honored if Chris would be on it.
And Chris was my first, likeyes, let's do it.
(45:09):
He was like that is beautiful,I love it.
You tell me the time and thedate and I will be there, I will
make sure that I'm available.
And when Chris said that, I waslike okay, I really need to do
this because if Chris okays it,then I'm onto something.
And within a week, stealth mode,because I couldn't tag Lee,
because I wanted it to be asurprise, I wanted him to think
that I was just interviewing him, like everybody else was at the
(45:31):
time, but I'd alreadyinterviewed him with Tim, so I
didn't want to interview himagain.
And he had an interview on, youknow, man Up To Cancer podcast.
So I was like I'm going to justask him a few questions that I
want to ask him and then afterthat the rest of the show is
just people coming on like you,paula, and saying how much they
love him, and it was a total actof love.
(45:52):
I mean, when I made thatcommitment at PodFest, I didn't
even have a freaking logo.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
But you see how things work Once you already
give a timeline or say it topeople where you know they're
going to hold you accountable,you get into the action mode,
because now you're like okay,there are people who are going
to hold me accountable, peoplewho I admire and people who want
to make proud and I don't wantto let them down.
(46:23):
So now there's that need.
That's why we always say if youreally want to get something
done or to achieve something,tell the people who are going to
hold you accountable, becausethat's how you're going to get
it done.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
Yeah, but if you keep it, alone inside.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Nobody knows what you have planned.
So even if the day comes andyou didn't do shit, nobody's
expecting it.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
So there's no shame or anything of not achieving
right, and you know, the funnything is like, remember, you and
I were talking and I was like.
You know, when you sit aroundwaiting for the perfect time,
you'll never be ready.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
There's no perfect time, yeah, because there's no,
first of all, perfect time, butwhen's perfect time done?
You create.
I am a firm believer that youcreate the perfect time, even
the perfect moment, becauseimagine if you're waiting for
the perfect time and you werestill doing this shit.
We lost Lee on Wednesday.
(47:15):
Okay, we don't know if thatwould have happened or not, but
now you'd be sitting here like,damn, now he's not going to see
me do this thing Now he's notgoing to, you know, but you
literally gave him a celebrationof life.
He got to sit there and watch uspoint to him, like when I tell
(47:37):
you, one of the most amazing,emotionally beautiful launch
I've witnessed is yours, becausenot only the people were able
to come on the stage, but didyou see that chat?
Like in the chat, shout to nancyand brian and people on the
(47:58):
chat, and you, and, and it wassuch you gave us because you
remember, I was like, oh man,and I had this number and I I
had it in my head to, to, tocheck up on him, but I didn't do
it because we literally thoughtthere was still time, like we
knew it was coming, but we justdidn't think it was going to
(48:18):
come this soon.
But in my head I'm still likebut Paula, you got to tell him
everything you needed to tellhim and he had it.
He saw you and I keep onreplaying that part as soon as I
came on the stage and I waslike Paula.
It just is in my head like in asweet but thankful way, like
(48:45):
it's so nice to watch but it'salso so painful to fucking watch
.
But to know that he was soexcited to see me and to allow
me to call on him, you gave usthat.
So now your launch day meanseven more because of the
aftermath of what happened.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
I'm still being tagged in posts and I can't keep
up.
Speaker 3 (49:10):
And you know people are out Speaking of that, that
you need to go to Instagram andapprove my invitation to
collaborate, because I did postsomething okay, I'm not on
Instagram.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
I need to be better about that.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Thank you for calling me out on that you know, one
thing I'm going to do is callyou out girl, because I am just
all about calling people out andthey're bullshit.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
No, I'm just but you know, I um, I'm grateful that my
launch was the way that it was,because if I had just
interviewed him years before, itwouldn't have been the same as
what last Friday was.
It wouldn't have been asspecial.
Speaker 3 (49:54):
We literally got to say bye to this man without
knowing we were saying bye, seeyou later.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
It's a see you later.
It's a see you later.
We're going to see him later.
We're going to be greeted byhis smile, he promised me.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
I don't know, man, by the way my life is going, I
might be going to a differentside of the world, you know.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
Nah, my girl, you're too good of a person.
God's not going to send you tohell for a few fucks and shit.
I'm sorry.
You and I are going to be downthere together.
We're going to be like gettingourselves.
A man is hot.
Speaker 3 (50:32):
My ex yesterday just told me I was going to have.
So I'm like, okay, I guess I'mgoing to have that you know what
?
Speaker 1 (50:38):
I'm glad he's your effing ex, because anybody who's
gonna tell you that is damnwrong, because you have one of
the biggest hearts in such asmall body I've ever seen and
you have so much energy andyou're like I never knew that
you were, so I always forget howtiny you are.
And then you hug me and I'mlike wait, I'm tiny.
And she's like in my boobs andI'm like what?
Speaker 3 (51:02):
Larry calls me the Tasmanian devil.
You're like, the Tasmaniandevil.
So much energy in this tiniestbody of yours I'm like.
So you know what Jamaicanssayican, I just know.
but here's the thing podcastjust gives me a different energy
because I do not have theenergy.
The podcast energy that I bring, I do not have it in my life,
(51:23):
like I do have energy, but notthe podcast energy 24 7.
So I don't know if it's justthe excitement of being around
people who just pour onto youthat just makes it, because I
don't know how I survived fourfucking days being on top of
that energy.
And the thing is, even when I'mrunning a little bit low on
(51:44):
battery and I need to go torecharge, people come to me and
they're like what's wrong withyou?
Are you okay?
Did something happen?
I'm like no, I'm just tired.
I'm tired Like what's wrongwith you, are you okay?
Did something happen?
I'm like no, I'm just tired,I'm tired.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
You know it's funny, paula, because like I'm the same
way where I'm this hugeextrovert when I'm at PodFest.
Once I get there I had thatsocial anxiety before, but like
in real life I'm just like thiscool, chill, just girl, just
chilling, like I don't even liketo go out, I stay at home and I
watch Netflix, me too.
Speaker 3 (52:14):
I don't like people that much, even though I'm
extroverted, but I like creativepeople, I like process people,
but in my real life I don't likepeople that much, even though I
used to be the outdoorsy,always out, always wanting
people around me.
But since COVID and sincelearning to be by myself and
work on myself and creating thisbusiness, I don't like people
(52:36):
anymore like that.
I'm like please leave me alone.
Respectfully.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Yeah, people suck for the most part.
I mean, you saw me here backfrom Nashville, you know people
suck.
Speaker 3 (52:46):
Yes, and that's why I only entertain Podfest people,
like literally my phone lately.
The people I talk to are mostlypeople from Podfest Especially
you and Amanda, you, Amanda andNancy, I need to start charging
you therapy money because y'allbe blowing on my phone every
hour, every fucking time Me andRusso, you, russo and Nancy,
(53:10):
russo and Nancy.
We need you.
Russo is sending voicemails twohours a day, but it's funny,
right.
I'm so used to getting likefive, six and there'll be two
minutes, three minutes, fourminutes voicemails, but then on
a day when it's so quiet, likeif the whole day I haven't even
(53:31):
received a message, I'll be likebitch, are you okay?
Because now I'm feeling likewhy did I receive even one voice
note today?
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (53:41):
So Amanda Russo made me cry four times yesterday.
Speaker 3 (53:46):
And she said it was a bad day today.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
Yeah, I've been sending her voice messages.
So the funny thing is isyesterday I'm at the nail salon
and she sends me a message andI'm crying, and then this is
what happened.
Do you see my ring fingers?
That's the we have cancerpodcast.
Podcast.
Logo for lee.
Speaker 3 (54:08):
Lee, that's sweet.
Speaker 1 (54:12):
It is so I also want to tell you, because I announced
it last night.
But I have decided to dedicatemy entire YouTube slash live
stream Blue Couch chat in Lee'shonor, so there will be a
picture of him and in honor ofLee Silverstein at the beginning
of every episode.
Speaker 3 (54:31):
I'm so proud of you and I'll be so happy you're
keeping his legacy going, asthat's what you wanted.
So we have seven minutes and weneed to wrap this up.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
So before we go, let the people know what Blue Couch
Chat is about and where they canfind you okay, so blue couch
chat, the idea of the name, kindof like red table talk, so it's
easier to remember for ourcommunity, right, but blue is my
favorite color, it's also, butsorry, sorry, just to be that
(55:08):
gone.
Speaker 3 (55:09):
You know red table talk has a red table and blue
couch chat.
I need to see a blue couch,okay, because?
Speaker 2 (55:16):
you're misleading me.
Speaker 3 (55:18):
Okay, I will sue for this misleading.
Speaker 1 (55:22):
I have the blue couch .
I had my entire set set up andthen my bedroom flooded in
November and I had to moveeverything out of my bedroom
into what's my studio.
So now that became storage, mybedroom into my studio.
So now that became storage.
So I have my couch.
I've had my couch for threeyears, paula.
Speaker 3 (55:41):
I've had my couch for three years.
Okay, go ahead.
I just wanted to make sure thatwe don't want what is it called
Misleading Brand.
Misleading, no, so.
Speaker 1 (55:52):
I have my blue couch.
It's a nice blue velvet couchwith like gold legs.
So I'm doing blue, gold andgreen.
You know, very luxurious, butblue is the color for colon
cancer.
It's also my favorite color.
Couch is where you invitesomeone to feel comfortable.
Also, when you're on yourtherapist, you're speaking to
your therapist.
You tend to lay on their couchfor that very reason.
(56:13):
It's a safe place.
And then the chat is like whatwe had tonight, paula an
unscripted, just authentic andtransparent and vulnerable
conversation that just, you know, just goes, and that's the
whole concept of blue couch chat.
I am at Blue Couch Chat onFacebook, Insta X, which is
(56:35):
still Twitter, and of course, onYouTube, blue Couch Chat.
I am Shansim Lee on Facebook,insta and yeah, so you can find
me.
You can also search me byShannon Lee-Sin on Facebook.
I also stream as Blue CouchChat on my personal LinkedIn as
Shannon Lee sin, and as bluecouch chat on LinkedIn too.
(56:57):
So, basically, if you'relooking for me, you can find me.
I'm easy to find.
When do you stream?
I stream every Friday eveningat around six o'clock.
Speaker 3 (57:08):
You're supposed to say that?
How else are people going tocome see your shit girl?
I need to teach you how elseare people gonna come see your
shit girl?
Speaker 1 (57:16):
we were supposed to take a shot for lee well, I have
my red bull, I didn't have my,I don't have my rum, but I do
have blue couch chat stuff.
So see, I'm official you'reofficial.
Speaker 3 (57:29):
I like you much, I'm proud of you, but, um, when we
were planning, when we wereplanning this, here're the one
who told me we need to take ashot.
So I don't know why you didn'thave your arm.
Speaker 1 (57:40):
Okay, well, we can do this.
This works.
Speaker 3 (57:43):
It doesn't.
What's the point?
The whole point is.
Can we go get my room?
I'm going to go get my room.
Yes, Quick, we have threeminutes left.
I have it ready.
Wait, oh my God, these people.
You know you can't bringAfrican Jamaican Islanders in
this shit, and they don't justmake shit happen.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
I went to three different liquor stores to find
a special rum from Jamaica andit's pretty rare and because you
know, when you give it a shotit has to be something special.
So this is Appleton, it's 12years, it's a rare cask, it is
freaking amazing and I'm sorryI'm having Bombay.
Sophia, that's a baby ass shotyou're doing girl, that's not a
(58:32):
Jamaican shot, so hold on.
Speaker 3 (58:34):
Because I've been drinking okay, I'm not trying to
black out here.
Okay, well, I feel like that'syour first drink, so you're
allowed to have that.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
But if you watched my live earlier.
Speaker 3 (58:46):
so, tuli, thank you for bringing us together and, as
they say, legends never die.
Your legacy will fucking liveon Forever and ever and beyond.
Speaker 1 (58:59):
Tuli, love you.
Pods of friendship.
All right, that is some smoothshit.
I love this so much.
Speaker 3 (59:09):
Not Bombay, sapphire.
Bombay ain't smooth for shit.
You need to get some of this.
I'll bring you some, but wehave one minute before we go.
Leave an advice for thosepeople scared to go get tested.
Speaker 1 (59:23):
The prevention is always better than the cure.
And the great thing about coloncancer it's the one cancer that
is actually preventable bydoing screening, which is the
colonoscopy.
I am going to say do thecolonoscopy.
That's the only way to preventthis cancer before it develops
and to actually find it andpossibly cut it out.
(59:44):
If it's an early stage, or atleast you're diagnosed, you
catch it early and then you cando the surgery and whatever.
But hopefully they'll catch itearly.
But if you do your colonoscopywhen you're supposed to,
hopefully you should be fine.
So just do it.
Healthcare is self-care.
Speaker 3 (59:58):
Thank you very much.
Thank you, shannon, foradvocating, motivating,
educating, informing, inspiringand giving hope to people out
there.
For everybody who's watching.
Who watched on live.
Thank you for watching.
For those who are going to tuneon replay.
Thank you who watched on live.
Thank you for watching.
For those who are going to tuneon replay.
Thank you Go out and check outBlue Coach Live.
She'll be having incredibleconversations and you can learn
a lot of shit.
Until next time, see you onShit Happens, shit Happens, shit
(01:00:27):
, shit happens, shit, shit, shithappens, shit, shit, shit, shit
happens, shit happens, shithappens, shit happens.
and I looked at her and I'm like what the fuck are
you talking about?
And my mom it was likeeverybody held their breath in
the room for a second, it waslike time stopped for a second.
And she said you have spots onyour liver that are suspicious
for metastasis, which we knew Ihad a high chance for right Now.
(00:21):
I know how high.
And she said you need to cancelyour trip.
We need to do a biopsy rightright Now, I know how high.
And she said you need to cancelyour trip.
We need to do a biopsy rightaway.
And I looked at my mom and thedoctor left the room so me and
my mom could talk.
And my mom didn't say anything.
And I'm like, mom, I'm going tocall Sean Johns real quick.
So I called my friend and I'mlike, hey, sean.
He's like what's up girl?
How's the doctor appointmentgoing?
I'm like, um, so about that, nomatter how messy shit happens.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Shit happens, shit happens.
Just FYI, this episode wasrecorded February of 2024 and it
is now February of 2025.
But with February being a monthof love, self-care and
(01:44):
self-love are very important,and health and wellness are a
big part of self-care andself-love.
So I hope you learned somethingfrom this episode.
Also, it's one year since welost Lee Silverstein.
We lost Lee last year onValentine's Day and this episode
(02:06):
was recorded right after welost him.
So here's to one year in heaven, lee.
You will miss that Podfest, butyour presence was felt because
you were represented well on andoff stage.
We miss you, we love you andhere's to celebrating you always
(02:27):
.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Enjoy everybody, hello, hello welcome back to
another Shit Happens session.
Oh my God, this person I'mgoing to be having a very
(02:49):
hurtful conversation with is mysoul sister.
I love this girl to death andI'm so proud of her and what she
has achieved in in the last twoweeks.
Um, and we're going to talkabout that, so let me go ahead
and bring on shannon to thestage.
Stay Bye-bye.
Welcome to Talk Shit with P.
You know I love talking shit.
Welcome to Shit Happens.
(03:11):
I keep forgetting that this isShit Happens, but it is part of
Talk Shit with P.
So, either way and yes, you dolike talking shit, so you're
right where you need to be.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I am because shit happens and I love talking about
it.
So it works.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
You know, shit happened to me, so yeah, shit
happened to you because, baby,you were misdiagnosed for
several years.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Like what the fuck yeah 12 years I had symptoms, um
, from when I was 17 went to mypediatrician.
I I have a stomach ache everyday.
I'm having blood in my stool.
The water was literally red,bright red water in the toilet
and he said, oh, you probablyhave an ulcer, Take some
(03:58):
antacids.
He actually said Zantac, whichwe know isn't good for us anyway
now, but that was in 1999 andthe symptoms just got worse and
worse over the years and then itgot to the point where it was
so persistent that I had to belike there is definitely
something wrong.
Somebody is missing something.
This is not just heavy periods,this isn't cysts, this isn't a
(04:20):
bladder infection, this isn'themorrhoids.
This has got to be something.
And yeah, it took another.
I was in Jamaica doing mybachelor's at the time and I'd
go to the emergency room and getdoped up on morphine for the
pain.
Not that I was a drug addict,but I would literally be doped
up on morphine and go straightto class and I don't know how I
(04:44):
got through it.
I finished my final year, I didmy.
I was actually admitted intothe hospital when I had to do my
final project for the end ofschool, for my final year, and I
did my final project while inthe hospital.
I was anemic, severely anemic,I could.
I was out of breath, justwalking a few steps and I had a
(05:05):
fever of 103.
They wanted to do a bloodtransfusion in Jamaica, which is
really risky anywhere, butespecially there.
And I said, why?
And they're like oh, probablyyour heavy periods, and I'm like
I'm eating healthier than ever.
How could my heavy periodscause me to be this anemic,
where you want to do a bloodtransfusion which is supposed to
be a life-saving measure?
And they couldn't answer me andI said if I'm anemic and I have
(05:31):
a fever, then that tells methat I have an infection.
And they were like oh, youprobably just picked up a bug in
the hospital.
So I got out of the hospital,my mom came to help me pin up my
work and for the presentation Ididn't stay for the
presentation.
So my work and you know, forthe presentation I couldn't even
I didn't stay for thepresentation, so my work just
had to speak for itself and Iwas like I pray I pass so I can
graduate.
(05:56):
And I flew up to Miami for whatwas a 20 something opinion.
By then I'd seen so manydoctors in Jamaica and came up
here and couldn't get, didn'thave insurance and there were no
here and couldn't get, didn'thave insurance and there were no
appointments with the publicclinic until like six months out
and no doctor would see mewithout insurance.
And one day I just felt like Ifelt my energy leaving my body.
I can't really explain what Ifelt.
(06:19):
It wasn't pain I mean, I hadpain, pain before like really
bad pain where I felt like analien was trying to rip its way
out of me.
This wasn't that.
It wasn't pain.
It was like I literally justfelt like I was fading.
You know, like, yeah, and Iwent to my mom and I said, mom,
I'm either going to have reallyhigh medical bills, which is
(06:41):
what I was trying to avoid, oryou're going to be paying for my
funeral.
And we went to the emergencyroom that was Wednesday, June
17th and they did an ultrasound,said I had cysts and sent me
home, Didn't admit me.
And then, two days later, mymom came home from work and I
(07:01):
was.
My stomach was distended, noteven bloated.
It was like she said, I lookedlike a dead frog.
You know how dead frogs theirstomach?
Yeah, she said like my stomachwas like out there, just bloated
and hard, and my skin wasturning orange.
And I was in such bad pain atthis time that my eyes were just
weeping and I couldn't even cry, I couldn't sob, my jaws were
(07:23):
locked with the pain and shesaid we're going back to the
emergency room.
And she said I don't care ifthey call the police on me, we
are going to stay there until weget answers.
And I went to that same hospitala very small hospital here in
Miami that's part of the publichealth system.
They did an ultrasound AgainI'd had like 20 ultrasounds done
in the past like two years.
(07:43):
Again I'd had like 20ultrasounds done in the past
like two years saw no cysts.
And so they said let's do a CT.
And when they did the CT, I hadan abscess in my abdomen about
this big and had a hundred cc'sof fluid in it which is almost
like a water bottle, and I had Ecoli and five other bacteria in
my bloodstream.
I was in sepsis and my body wasshutting down, Ended up in ICU,
(08:05):
had to finally get the bloodtransfusion.
I didn't have a choice at thatpoint.
It was a life-saving measureand I had six doctors on my case
and they were like, well, wewant to do surgery.
And I'm like, okay.
And they're like, but we can'tdo surgery.
And I'm like, if you have sixdoctors who want to do surgery,
(08:25):
why can't you do surgery?
They're like, well, the surgeondoesn't want to do surgery.
And I'm like, why doesn't thesurgeon want to do surgery?
Because surgeon makes moneywhen you do surgery.
So they said, the surgeon sawmy chart, saw that I was a
single 29-year-old female withno children, and he did not want
(08:47):
me to end up with an ostomy.
The surgery was very riskybecause of the fact that I had
been in sepsis and I could bleedout on the table.
So he decided that the best waylooking out for me would be to
treat the infection, get theinflammation down and then do a
colonoscopy, which is far lessinvasive, far less risky.
(09:09):
But that infection kept oncoming back every month over
four months and finally thefourth time.
He was just like we can't getyou to the colonoscopy, you keep
getting this infection.
This is life-threatening.
We need to figure out what'sgoing on.
At this point they were finallylooking in the right area.
They were saying it wasprobably diverticulitis, Crohn's
(09:30):
colitis, um, they were evenlooking to see if I had some
kind of parasite.
Um, I mean, they were lookingat everything under the sun.
It was like an episode of house, how they were trying to like
solve the problem.
You know, like I really feltlike I was in an episode of
doctors.
Can one person have on theircase, right?
Speaker 3 (09:50):
At that point you're like can I have doctor house?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Well, my doctors all of my doctors were like having a
doctor house.
They were so amazing and we.
They were funny and they reallycared about me and they were
invested.
And they were funny and theyreally cared about me and they
were invested and they reallywanted to save my life and find
out what the problem was.
So I was really blessed at thatpoint that I finally had
doctors who not only listenedbut wanted to figure out what
(10:15):
the F was going on, when nobodycould figure it out.
And so at this point he saidwe're going to have to do
surgery.
So I went into surgery thenight.
He loved working overnight.
That's why we're best friends,cause he I'm a night owl, as you
know I don't sleep and he wouldcome into my room at two
o'clock in the morning and justflip the light on and be like
what are you doing up?
(10:35):
And I'm like, what are youdoing here?
He's bright eyed and bushytailed.
I'm like, okay, dude has issues.
So we went into my surgerySaturday night because that's
what?
Not Saturday night, but it wasOctober 4th, that's when he does
his best work and what wassupposed to be a 45 minute
exploratory surgery ended upbeing over 10 hours of a
life-saving surgery where heunder for 10 hours.
(11:00):
It was under for at least 10hours, yeah.
So he opened me up and he foundcancer.
Luckily he didn't do itlaparoscopic, or I probably
wouldn't be here.
He found cancer.
He found colon cancer, stagethree C.
When he opened me up he thoughtit was stage four because I
(11:21):
looked so bad inside.
I was such a mess, he said.
He said my insides were fallingapart like wet newspaper.
When he would pick up myintestines it would just.
He took a foot of my colon andin that foot I had between 15
and 20 polyps at 29, as aperfectly healthy young woman,
(11:41):
and he cleaned me up and heclosed me up and a week later my
mom asked the doctors to nottell me about my diagnosis until
I was lucid.
It took me a week to come out ofall the pain meds because I was
under severe pain and all ofthe anesthesia, that fog.
(12:02):
It took me a week to be lucidagain and coherent and not be
hallucinating.
And finally, the first thingthat I remember is I had my
doctor sit down on my bed, puthis hand on my knee and he said
so you know, we did surgery.
And I'm like, yeah, I rememberthat, I remember that.
And he was like well, and hewas taking a really long time to
(12:28):
tell me what the F he had totell me, paula, like he was
going so effing slow.
I'm like, oh my God, I ameffing dying.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
You're like just get with it.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
He's like so you know , we did surgery.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
And I'm like, yeah, and he's like, well, we opened
you up and I'm like yeah isn'tthat something you need to do in
order to do surgery?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
open me up and then he was like and then it was like
, once he got to that point, itall went like fast after that,
like he couldn't even get it outfast enough.
And he was like well, yeah,stage three, see adenocarcinoma
of your colon, your T1, M0,da-da-da-da-da one, whatever.
And then he was like so I heardhe's like so you basically have
(13:16):
colon cancer.
That's what adenocarcinoma ofthe colon is.
I'm like I he's looking at melike I'm weird, but I'm just
like I thought I was going outof my mind.
Like when you're in pain andyou're sick and you're having
diarrhea and constipation andyou're throwing up and you're
nauseous all the time, and thenyou're tired all the time and
(13:37):
doctors can't find out what'swrong with you so you're just
excited that there's an answerFinally.
I was so relieved I was likewell, at least now I know what
the fuck I'm fighting.
It's not some alien in my bodythat I think is there and
nobody's seeing.
You know what I mean.
(13:57):
I'm like okay.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
How cool would it have been if an alien was inside
your body trying to take overyour body.
That would have been.
If an alien was inside yourbody trying to take over your
body, that would have been socute.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
But technically that's kind of what cancer is,
right.
I mean, when you really thinkabout it, that kind of is what
cancer is, just on a microscopicscale.
That's how I looked at mycancer, like I was fighting this
invisible alien in my bodytrying to kill me.
And at least now I knew whatthe F I was dealing with.
I knew I wasn't crazy.
(14:28):
But here's the next part.
He then said cause?
Then I was like okay, god, wegot this.
It's going to be one heck of afight, but I know we're going to
get through this.
That was my thought.
I was good.
I was good.
You know, I was a littleshocked but I was good.
And then he said and you havean ostomy.
And that's when my entire worldfell apart because I did not
(14:51):
know how I was going to dealwith it.
He wanted me to look at it andhe pulled up my gown for me to
look at it and I cried and Ithrew up.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
What does that mean?
You have an ostomy?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yeah, because I don't know what the fuck it is and I
don't want to pretend like I do,okay, well, I appreciate that
and I'm glad that I can.
You know, a lot of people don'tknow and there's a really big
stigma about it, which is why Icouldn't cope with it, and I
wish that what we have now insocial media existed in 2011,
because now I see people livingwith it young, younger than me
and they're fine, and if I hadseen that then I would have
(15:30):
dealt better.
But what actually happened tome was he cut.
You know, your colon is shapedlike an upside down, you right,
and you have what is ascending,coming from your small intestine
up to your transverse, whichgoes across horizontal, and then
you have your descending andthen it curves like this and
goes down to your rectum right.
So what happened to me was mycancer was actually in my
(15:53):
descending colon, pretty closeto my rectum, and if it was a
rectal cancer diagnosis, myprognosis would have been a lot
worse, so I'm blessed in that.
So what he did was he actuallyremoved my entire descending
colon and because of the factthat he didn't know if my
margins were clear, and also thefact because I was so inflamed
(16:15):
he couldn't reattach me, he hadto give me time for my colon to
heal.
So what then happens is theystitch closed the end of my
rectum, the top part of myrectum.
They stitch that close, theystaple that closed and then that
part of my colon that's comingacross, they pull that out
through my abdomen.
And so when they pull that outthrough my abdomen, they split a
(16:39):
split and so you literally havea little ending.
It looks like your tongue.
It literally looks like yourtongue.
It literally looks like yourtongue.
It's called a colostomy.
There's also an ileostomy, butthat's where you poop through.
So you stick a bag onto yourstomach and you poop into that
bag.
So from your reaction you canimagine how hard that was for me
.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
So you would have a poop bag.
I had a poop bag, I touched it.
I had a poop bag.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
I touched it.
I had a bag of shit.
Yes, I had a bag of shit and Iactually to help me, you're
going to love this part I toldyou I love talking shit.
You're going to love this part.
To help me cope with it.
I decided to give it a name andI had an ex-boyfriend at the
time who I had really loved.
We lived together and his firstname was Andrew.
(17:25):
But I have a cousin namedAndrew, so I didn't want to name
my shit bag Andrew, so I gaveit his middle name and his
middle name was Hassani.
So I called my bag Hassani andpeople would ask me why the name
Hassani?
That's such an unusual name andI'm like I named my bag of shit
after a bag of shit.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Shout out to Hassani.
So how long did you have thepoop bag for?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
shit after a bag of shit.
So how long did you have thepoop bag for?
I had it almost a year and ahalf.
I had it for almost a year anda half.
Um, my surgeon wanted it to bepermanent and it really affected
my quality of life in a reallybad way and it made me not able
to enjoy my life.
It controlled every aspect ofmy life, from when I ate, when I
showered.
I had actually had a blowout.
We call it a blowout when itblows up and like explodes with
(18:10):
poop.
I had a blowout in my sleep inmy mom's friend's bed in New
York on a road trip.
I also had a blowout at acampaign rally for President
Obama.
I was literally six feet awayfrom him.
I was right next to the stagebecause I was a volunteer on his
campaign.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
And I had a glow.
You shitted on Obama.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Well, almost I shitted myself in front of Obama
.
He just didn't know, yeah.
So I had to run out and leave.
I had shit on my shirt and Ihad to cover it up with some
materials get some campaignmaterials and and leaving out of
curiosity, did your shit stinklike when it blew up?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
like how was the smell?
Speaker 1 (18:56):
it smells really, really bad when the bag leaks.
It is awful, it is awful and itis the hardest part of having
an ostomy when that happens.
Yeah, I mean it's funny afterit happens, but while you're
going, through it.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Uh, I'm pretty sure it took you also a long time
before you actually startedlaughing at that shit, like you
and them.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I actually really did have a poop bag, like you know
I didn't, I didn't laugh at ituntil I didn't have it anymore
so out of curiosity, because Iknow that can definitely affect
your mental health.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
I mean, you know, you , you're a pretty woman and at
29 that's like the other time,like you know, you're about to
be 30, you're in there, you'rein there.
So to have that, how was yourmental health, how did it affect
it?
How did you get through itmentally?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
I honestly struggled um my mom thank god for my mom,
she was my primary caregiver andum, you know, to be honest, we
love other, but we have a lot ofwhere sometimes you can't have
two bulls in the same pen, right?
We're both very stubborn, we'revery, we're very strong headed.
The things that I love about mymom that also annoy me to heck.
(20:16):
I have all those qualities andsing for her.
So you know, we love each other, but we we knock heads hard
headed all the time, even now.
But we love each other.
But we knock heads hard-headedall the time, even now.
But we love each other.
I love my mom to death.
I would do anything for her andshe has shown me that she would
do anything for me, and canceractually healed our relationship
, as weird as it is.
(20:36):
But I couldn't deal with thebag a lot of times and so
sometimes I would just walk upto her or I'd call her and I'd
be like Mom.
And so sometimes I would justwalk up to her or I'd call her
and I'd be like mom, and shewould just know what that meant.
She knew it was time for a bagchange and she would come and
she would do it for me because Ijust didn't want to deal with
it.
Sometimes I dealt with it.
Sometimes it's so weird, paula,because sometimes I deal with
(20:57):
it like a champ, like one time Iwent to a doctor's appointment
and it was you.
You can't control it.
It's not like your anus whereyou can hold your poop with.
When you have an ostomy, itjust comes out naturally.
So you eat, it goes through youpoop.
So when I would go out withfriends I wouldn't eat because I
didn't want to have my bag showor have to change it.
(21:20):
It, it, just it.
It.
It was rough and real shit, itwas rough, shit was rough.
And I remember she was amazed.
Because here it is, I'm cryingevery night over having this
shit and this bag of shit andgoing through this shit.
And I told you I say shit a lot.
And one day we go to a doctor'sappointment and I had breakfast
(21:45):
on the way and my bag hadfilled up and I needed to change
it because it was showing and Ididn't like when it showed.
I didn't like people knowingthat I had it.
I didn't want to risk itblowing out, because if it fills
up too much it's going to justcome off.
You know, it's literally just,it's like just stuck to you with
tape.
It's like know it's not, it'snot, like it's it's yeah, so it
(22:06):
can just fall off if it gets wetor you get sweaty.
It it's really a tricky thing.
And, um, my, I had to change itand I just pushed the car seat
all the way back in the parkinggarage, take out my little kit
with my extra bag and stuff,take off my bag, put it in a
trash bag that I had in mylittle kit stuck on the new one,
(22:28):
and I said, okay, mom, we'reready to go.
I wiped my hands with some wetwipes and some hand sanitizer
and I'm like we're good to go.
And she looked at me and she'slike just last night I had to
change your bag for you andyou're crying, you just handled
it.
But I had times when I wouldjust push through, and then I
had times when I would just pushthrough and then I had times
when I just didn't want to deal.
You know, and it was just, younever knew how it was going to
go and yeah, that's basicallywhat some of the shit that I
(22:53):
went through.
So I finally got my bagreversed, my hospital reversed
in January of 2020.
2013,.
I was diagnosed October of 2011.
I went through 12 rounds ofrigorous chemo it's called full
Fox.
It's really hard on your body.
Each treatment was every otherweek and each treatment was
(23:16):
three days continuous.
So I still have my little chemoport I don't know if you can
see it.
So they would attach me tochemo on Wednesday.
I'd go in eight o'clockWednesday morning, actually have
to be there by seven, seven 30,start treatment at eight
o'clock, be there until aboutsix getting infusions.
Then at six they would attachme to a pump on in my port again
(23:41):
and I would go home with thatpump and then disconnect from
that pump Friday afternoon.
It again, and I would go homewith that pump and then
disconnect from that pump Fridayafternoon.
So two and a half, two andthree quarter days on chemo
straight, even while I wassleeping for every other week
for six months and I gained 60pounds in my first six weeks of
chemo 70 pounds altogether.
I'm still struggling to losethat weight.
(24:03):
So the body dysmorphia is real.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Isn't that kind of amazing how you gain weight,
because the idea of mostconstipations they lose weight
right.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
It had a lot to do with the steroids, because I
gained weight and I was barelyeven eating, and then it also
had to do with the fact that theonly things that I tended to
want to eat because I had noappetite was basically mashed
potatoes and popcorn, and Iwasn't eating much of it.
But, yeah, the steroids tend toblow you up and it can mess
(24:40):
with your metabolism and all ofthat.
So, yeah, yeah, but I'm alive,and I'm alive, you know, and I
call it my, I don't call it myextra time, I call it my gifted
time, and the way that I look atthat is what am I going to do
with the gift that God gave me?
How am I going to pay that giftforward?
Speaker 3 (25:02):
and we are going to talk about that.
But first, you have been cancerfree for 12 years, am I right?
You are right, andcongratulations for getting
through that.
I mean for getting through poopbag, shit bag, and getting
through that and coming on theother side and realizing that yo
(25:26):
, yes, life can be fucking tough, but there's other shit, right.
So these little things don'tbother you as much, because if
you can get through that, right,what is this little shit?
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Like I mean, I remember I was working when I
first started working, you know,after getting through that.
So I managed to get out of thehospital after six weeks in the
hospital, almost dying.
I had lost so much muscle mass.
I had to relearn how to walk,basically, and do PT in the
hospital, starting with a walker, regain my strength.
(26:02):
And after being in the hospitalfor six weeks and about to be
discharged, my surgeon said notso fast there, I'm ready to sign
the paper.
I'm like yo, I want to go home.
And he's like not so fast there.
I'm like okay, what's up?
He's like you've been out ofbreath and your heart rate is a
little elevated.
I want to run some tests.
And he kept me for anotherthree days, ran tests, every
(26:24):
test under the sun chest x-ray,chest ultrasound, ct, all of it,
heart monitor, stress test andit turned out I had a pulmonary
embolism so I could have gonehome and died.
You know that Tuesday I had myfirst oncology visit that
(26:45):
Thursday.
Flew out to Jamaica Fridayevening, walked in my graduation
Saturday morning, had a littlebrunch party Sunday, took my
photos Monday morning, flew backto Miami Monday afternoon and
had my first chemo that Thursday.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
There you go.
First of all, congrats forgraduating, because I remember
you were kind of not sure if youwould even be able to graduate,
since you didn't present yourproject.
You let the project presentitself for you.
That's incredible to be able togo through all that and still
(27:24):
do your finals and still make itfor graduation like you should.
You should be very proud ofyourself, like for being able to
overcome all that bullshit I'mjust stubborn as shit.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
My mom says I'm defiant, but that defiance got
me through so much and I thoughtit's that jamaican blood in you
, you know it is.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
It's that Jamaican blood in you, you know it is.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
It's that scotch pepper in my blood.
Um, no, I, um.
I think what it was was that Ihad almost died to get that
piece of paper and so what wouldbe the point of getting it if I
couldn't go and get it inperson?
And there was actually an emptyspace next to me at the end of
the aisle because we thought Iwas going to need a wheelchair
(28:08):
because I was so weak and I'dlost so much weight and I was
able to walk.
I needed help.
I had two classmates, onegentleman on each side of me.
I was escorted up the aisle.
I was able to walk across thestage on my own in heels this
high, because I said I was goingto walk in heels.
I wasn't going to just walk, Iwanted to rock ass heels.
(28:30):
And I walked across the stage,got my degree and walked down
and then had help back to myseat.
But I did it and then, likethat wasn't enough because I'm
crazy, and then, like thatwasn't enough because I'm crazy,
I, when I did my ostomyreversal, I got out of the
(28:51):
hospital and two days later,with 60 staples still in my
abdomen, I applied for mymaster's degree for architecture
at Florida InternationalUniversity.
I worked on my portfolio and myapplication while in the
hospital after my surgery,finished it up and went and
dropped it off the final day, onthat Friday, and I got in to do
my master's.
And then, crazy again, thatsummer, before I was to start my
(29:16):
master's, my friend, sean Johns, who I love.
He got me the opportunity towork in England for two months
with a design build firm thatdoes luxury housing for people
over there outside of London andCobham, and I was ready to book
my flight.
I had just gone in for resultsfrom my scans just routine.
This is what, two years aftermy diagnosis, at this point,
(29:40):
2013, I was diagnosed in 2011.
So I knew there was still.
I just read Tala.
This is how much I avoidedstatistics.
I just I just researched thestatistics for stage three C
colon cancer.
With stage three C colon cancer, you have a 70 to 80% chance of
recurrence within the firstfive years.
(30:00):
I just found that out because Ididn't want to know that when I
was going through it.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
And it would have fucked up with your mind and it
would have even made you notfight as hard because you'd be
like what the fuck?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Yeah, I mean my doctors told me I had a high
chance of recurrence.
They didn't tell me how much,but I mean they could have told
me numbers, numbers, numbers.
You know, even if you, if it's99 percent chance, somebody has
to be that one percent.
So I don't really havestatistics in mind anyway, which
is important to know Right,like if somebody says you have a
50, 50 chance of living ordying which is basically what I
(30:37):
had, it's still pretty goodchances.
Somebody has to be in that 50and somebody has to be in the
other 50.
And I've seen that Right, andnumbers don't tell you what side
of the numbers you're going tobe on.
They're just numbers, they'reaverages.
So I applied for my master's.
I'm there.
I want to go to England to work.
I'm waiting for the medicalclearance from my doctor,
(30:59):
expecting that my scans aregoing to be clear.
They'd always been clear.
I did them every three months.
They were always clear for twoyears.
And she says I'm ready to bookthe clear.
I did them every three months.
They were always clear for twoyears.
And she said to me I'm ready tobook the ticket.
I literally found an $800 roundtrip flight, which you know is
nothing.
And she came in and she saidI'm sorry, you have to put your
trip on hold.
(31:19):
And I looked at her and I'mlike what the fuck are you
talking about?
And my mom it was likeeverybody held their breath in
the room for a second.
It was like time stopped for asecond.
And she said you have spots onyour liver that are suspicious
for metastasis, which we knew Ihad a high chance for Right now
(31:41):
I know how high.
And she said you need to cancelyour trip.
We need to do a biopsy rightaway.
And I looked at my mom and thedoctor left the room.
So me and my mom could talk.
And my mom didn't say anything.
And I'm like, mom, I'm going tocall Sean Johns real quick.
So I called my friend and I'mlike, hey, sean, he's like,
what's up, girl, how's thedoctor appointment going?
I'm like, um, so about that,you're my friend and so I want
(32:04):
to know your input because I'mstaying with you and so if
anything happens to me, you'regoing to be the one who's going
to have to handle whatever'sgoing on.
And he was like, okay, and I'mlike, they saw spots on my liver
.
They think it might be cancer.
I still want to come, but Iwant your opinion.
And you know he said to me thisis why I love him and we're
(32:26):
still friends.
He said, girl, still come.
Whatever you have is not goingto kill you in six to eight
weeks.
And my mom thought I was crazy.
And you know my doctor thoughtI was crazy.
But here's my way of-.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
I would have done the same shit.
I would have been like listen,this is a once in a lifetime
opportunity.
If I die over there, at least Igot to experience it, and I'm
dying in London.
If I come, if I'm not meant todie, I'll be back and we'll get
into it.
If I was being diagnosed forhow many years?
And I still fucking madethrough the shit, I think I can
(33:06):
survive six to eight weeks.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Exactly so.
I looked at my mom and I saidmom.
I looked at my doctor and Isaid Dr Dwar, let me tell you
something Like my career and mydreams are the one things, are
the two things that cancer hasnot killed and I refuse to let
cancer take from me.
Right, and I?
I said if I don't go to Londonand I find out I have cancer,
(33:37):
I'm going to be pissed.
If I don't go to London and Ifind out I don't have cancer,
I'm going to be even more pissed.
And I said if I go to London,come back and find out I don't
have to have, I don't havecancer, I'm going to be happy.
And if I went to London, comeback and find out I don't have
to have, I don't have cancer,I'm going to be happy.
And if I went to London andfind out I have cancer, I'm
going to be happy.
I went.
So the only way that I'm goingto be happy is if I go right,
Cancer or not.
Like you said, Paula, cancer ornot, the only way.
(33:58):
So I went and I came back and Istarted my master's still
thinking that I might have stagefour cancer.
But my way of thinking of itwas.
I don't have stage four untilthey tell me, I have stage four.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
So what happened?
Did you go get checked?
Did you have it, did you not?
Speaker 1 (34:19):
So it took many biopsies, many tests.
It took five years.
I did not find out that I didnot have cancer in my liver
until 2018.
It took five years, five years.
So at least you went to Londonand I did my master's and I
(34:41):
lived my life and I started mycareer and and I I lived my life
and I started my career and Ilived my life, and you know
that's.
I might not have been stagefour, I was stage three C but I
understand people who have stagefour just living their life,
because we don't have a choice.
When you have cancer, no matterwhat stage, your life doesn't
(35:02):
stop.
Your life is on pause in a lotof ways, but you still have to
find ways to enjoy it.
You still have to find ways todo things you'd never have done
before.
You still have to find ways toexplore and be adventurous and
try new things.
And you have to find ways tostill have dreams and goals and
to achieve them, especiallybeing young.
(35:24):
You can't just say I havecancer, f it, I'm not going to
live anymore.
You have to find ways to livedespite going through treatment,
despite going through tests,despite not knowing if you have
stage four or not, like for me-.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Despite the statistics Right Like for me.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
I no longer have a high chance of recurrence, right
, because I'm 12 years out.
So my original cancer comingback, that's a very low chance
of that.
However, I still have a highchance of having a new primary
cancer in my colon because I doa colonoscopy every year,
because it's preventative, and Ipush everyone to do a
(36:04):
colonoscopy, please.
I know we have to have thisconversation another time,
probably during March, forawareness, but our population,
our community, we are notgetting colonoscopies because of
the stigma.
We're afraid to talk about shit.
We're scared to talk aboutrectums, about anuses, about
colons, about all of that.
We don't want to have a camerastuck up our butt, especially
(36:27):
black men.
But we black men and blackwomen are the ones dying from
this the most and we're notgetting screened for it.
And it's preventative, like,just do a fucking colonoscopy
and just save your own life.
You know what I mean.
You need to do a colonoscopyand if you have any symptoms or
family history, you need to doit earlier, no matter your age.
And if you have any symptoms orfamily history, you need to do
it earlier, no matter your age.
I was 17 when I had symptoms.
(36:47):
Probably if that doctor haddone a colonoscopy, then it
probably would have been eithera really large polyp or stage
zero or stage one.
I wouldn't have had to gothrough all the shit I went
through.
I don't wish that shit on myworst enemy, so just do it.
And I do a colonoscopy everyyear.
I am so badass because I'vedone at least 12 colonoscopies
(37:08):
now, paula, I did my lastcolonoscopy prep on a plane, so
the preps are not that bad, andI was not in the bathroom the
entire time.
I was in the bathroom one timewhile on the plane, so there's
no excuse and they can reach outto me if they have any
questions or anything.
That's why I'm here, that's whyI'm doing what I'm doing,
because the only people who cansave our people is our people,
(37:31):
you know, yeah go ahead andspeaking of that before the time
goes out, because, if you allknow, Shannon can talk and she's
used to doing her lives forthree hours, but I'm trying to
keep mine under one hour.
Speaker 3 (37:48):
God forbid, she takes me past one hour because she
can't, she can't.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
I've said a lot.
I've said a lot in the halfhour.
I think We've gotten reallyclose, I know.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
I'm so proud of you.
I think I'm training you rightnow for your next one so you can
do better.
I'm better at the guest than ahost, which is.
It is some real shit.
You know there's differencebetween being a host and being a
guest, you know.
(38:18):
So, um, as of last fridayyou're two weeks in you launched
your new baby, and what abeautiful launch that was.
And I think what I like, whatgravitated me to you when I met
you last year and what hasgravitated us throughout this,
(38:40):
is both of us in our podcast.
We wanted to well, my podcastand your live stream.
We wanted to create a place, asafe space for people to talk
about their shit.
We might have faced itdifferently, but it kind of
means the same, you know, and wehave done that by launching
(39:04):
your live stream last week, blueCourt Chat.
So let the people know a littlebit about that and share a
little bit about your launch,because that was a special
launch and I know we might cry abit, but let's see if I can get
(39:24):
through this.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
When I was diagnosed, social media was not really
existent.
You would see blogs, you wouldsee little threads, you might
have chat rooms, aol, msnMessenger, things like that.
It wasn't this, it was highfive, remember high five.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Oh my God, yes, five, oh my god, yes, but it wasn't
this right.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
It wasn't what we have now.
And so when I was diagnosed asa 29 year old who loved
computers and was always on theinternet, I couldn't find
anybody like me.
So I happened to find one younglady.
She was my guest last night formy second episode, grace.
I came across her blog, and herblog changed me because it was
like she was diagnosed at 37.
(40:14):
I was 29.
She was a few years out and sheshared her entire journey, and
so I finally was like okay, nowI kind of know what to expect
and I know I'm not alone.
Then, two years after mydiagnosis, I went to a
conference for colon cancer.
It happened to be in Miami.
That's where I met Grace inperson.
It was just a weird fluke thatwe met again at a table and I
(40:36):
recognized her.
And then I met this wonderfulgentleman, lee Silverstein, and
Lee, the first time.
I met him.
Paula, you know, you only needto meet Lee once for him to
impact your life forever.
I met him once.
That time I met him again andagain, and again and we became
friends.
Lee told me that I needed toknow that I had a voice and I
(41:02):
had a story that I needed toshare.
I didn't understand what hemeant then, but over the years
it became Shannon, you shouldhave a podcast.
And then it became.
You know what I need to do?
A YouTube, because we need tobe seen.
You can't represent throughyour voice.
And for colon cancer and thefact that I'm trying to get the
(41:23):
word out that we people ofAfrican descent are at a higher
propensity for having thisdisease.
People have to see I look likethem.
I also feel that people have tofeel me and know me and see me
crying and see me emotional andsee me smiling and see me
laughing and get to know me.
Right, Because I'm prettyauthentic.
(41:44):
Like Paula, you and I are thesame because we're just real.
Like what you see on camera iswhat you see in person.
We're just real, like what yousee on camera is what you see in
person.
You know what I'm saying.
It's no different.
So you know I just said I wantto be authentic, I want to just
be me, and that's who I becameon social media.
And then Lee has always beenencouraging me for eight years
(42:06):
to get into this platform andfinally, you know he's always
telling me about PodFest and Inever went.
He's always touting PodFest andhis PodFest fam never went to
PodFest.
I live three hours away, butlast year Lee got me a
scholarship for a free ticketand he said you have a free
ticket, now what is your excuse?
(42:27):
I expect to see you because Iwill be there and I'm having a
recurrence, and so I went, notonly because he gave me a free
ticket, but because he was goingto be there.
I really went more to see Leethan anything.
I didn't know what to expectfor PodFest and I've actually
had the Blue Couch chat channel.
I think I reserved it in 2021,paula Never did anything with it
(42:51):
, really, and I just kept onplanning how I want my set.
I want it to look like a talkshow, I want it to be special
all of this and um.
Speaker 3 (42:57):
You were dealing yourself with all this
perfectionist shit.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
I was all this fucking perfectionist shit and
um, I, um, I, like I.
I decided that I, when I sawLee, I found out Lee was in
hospice in January and I'm likeI really need to make this shit
happen.
And then I saw him at Podfestand I made the promise to him
(43:25):
because years ago I said, when Ido this shit, I want you to be
my first guest because you'rethe whole reason why the shit
happened.
Right, the good shit happened.
So he was supposed to be myfirst guest.
And when I saw him in Orlandoand I realized, girl, you can't
put this off anymore or youwon't be able to ever have Lee
see what he's made happen.
(43:47):
You won't be able to have Leeas your guest.
You won't be able to tell Leehow he's influenced you.
You know, because of Lee I wentto Podfest.
I met my friend Tim.
I ended up being now a co-hoston Tim's show on Wednesdays.
That let me wet my feet andfeel like this is my happy place
.
I enjoy this, although I getanxious about it because I'm shy
(44:07):
somewhat inside.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
I don't know about that, about that, I haven't seen
that shy part.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
You say I'm talking bullshit here.
I'm bullshitting here.
Speaker 3 (44:20):
Is this shit talking for real?
Speaker 1 (44:25):
I do have social anxiety.
When I get out in the spacethen I'm a total extrovert.
But to actually get there, Ihave this anxiety and even
coming on camera I have anxietyand I have to breathe through it
and then I'm okay once I'm oncamera, it's just this weird
thing.
Nothing in my life makes sense.
But I started Blue Couch Chatand I made the commitment, the
(44:47):
hard commitment, at PodFest,during the gratitude ceremony,
that I was going to start itwithin a week and I was going to
have Lee as my guest.
And then I told Chris that Iwanted it to be a celebration of
Lee and having guests on to sayhow they felt, and I'd be
honored if Chris would be on it.
And Chris was my first, likeyes, let's do it.
(45:09):
He was like that is beautiful,I love it.
You tell me the time and thedate and I will be there, I will
make sure that I'm available.
And when Chris said that, I waslike okay, I really need to do
this because if Chris okays it,then I'm onto something.
And within a week, stealth mode,because I couldn't tag Lee,
because I wanted it to be asurprise, I wanted him to think
that I was just interviewing him, like everybody else was at the
(45:31):
time, but I'd alreadyinterviewed him with Tim, so I
didn't want to interview himagain.
And he had an interview on, youknow, man Up To Cancer podcast.
So I was like I'm going to justask him a few questions that I
want to ask him and then afterthat the rest of the show is
just people coming on like you,paula, and saying how much they
love him, and it was a total actof love.
(45:52):
I mean, when I made thatcommitment at PodFest, I didn't
even have a freaking logo.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
But you see how things work Once you already
give a timeline or say it topeople where you know they're
going to hold you accountable,you get into the action mode,
because now you're like okay,there are people who are going
to hold me accountable, peoplewho I admire and people who want
to make proud and I don't wantto let them down.
(46:23):
So now there's that need.
That's why we always say if youreally want to get something
done or to achieve something,tell the people who are going to
hold you accountable, becausethat's how you're going to get
it done.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
Yeah, but if you keep it, alone inside.
Speaker 3 (46:38):
Nobody knows what you have planned.
So even if the day comes andyou didn't do shit, nobody's
expecting it.
Speaker 1 (46:43):
So there's no shame or anything of not achieving
right, and you know, the funnything is like, remember, you and
I were talking and I was like.
You know, when you sit aroundwaiting for the perfect time,
you'll never be ready.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
There's no perfect time, yeah, because there's no,
first of all, perfect time, butwhen's perfect time done?
You create.
I am a firm believer that youcreate the perfect time, even
the perfect moment, becauseimagine if you're waiting for
the perfect time and you werestill doing this shit.
We lost Lee on Wednesday.
(47:15):
Okay, we don't know if thatwould have happened or not, but
now you'd be sitting here like,damn, now he's not going to see
me do this thing Now he's notgoing to, you know, but you
literally gave him a celebrationof life.
He got to sit there and watch uspoint to him, like when I tell
(47:37):
you, one of the most amazing,emotionally beautiful launch
I've witnessed is yours, becausenot only the people were able
to come on the stage, but didyou see that chat?
Like in the chat, shout to nancyand brian and people on the
(47:58):
chat, and you, and, and it wassuch you gave us because you
remember, I was like, oh man,and I had this number and I I
had it in my head to, to, tocheck up on him, but I didn't do
it because we literally thoughtthere was still time, like we
knew it was coming, but we justdidn't think it was going to
(48:18):
come this soon.
But in my head I'm still likebut Paula, you got to tell him
everything you needed to tellhim and he had it.
He saw you and I keep onreplaying that part as soon as I
came on the stage and I waslike Paula.
It just is in my head like in asweet but thankful way, like
(48:45):
it's so nice to watch but it'salso so painful to fucking watch
.
But to know that he was soexcited to see me and to allow
me to call on him, you gave usthat.
So now your launch day meanseven more because of the
aftermath of what happened.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
I'm still being tagged in posts and I can't keep
up.
Speaker 3 (49:10):
And you know people are out Speaking of that, that
you need to go to Instagram andapprove my invitation to
collaborate, because I did postsomething okay, I'm not on
Instagram.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
I need to be better about that.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Thank you for calling me out on that you know, one
thing I'm going to do is callyou out girl, because I am just
all about calling people out andthey're bullshit.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
No, I'm just but you know, I um, I'm grateful that my
launch was the way that it was,because if I had just
interviewed him years before, itwouldn't have been the same as
what last Friday was.
It wouldn't have been asspecial.
Speaker 3 (49:54):
We literally got to say bye to this man without
knowing we were saying bye, seeyou later.
Speaker 1 (50:00):
It's a see you later.
It's a see you later.
We're going to see him later.
We're going to be greeted byhis smile, he promised me.
Speaker 3 (50:08):
I don't know, man, by the way my life is going, I
might be going to a differentside of the world, you know.
Speaker 1 (50:16):
Nah, my girl, you're too good of a person.
God's not going to send you tohell for a few fucks and shit.
I'm sorry.
You and I are going to be downthere together.
We're going to be like gettingourselves.
A man is hot.
Speaker 3 (50:32):
My ex yesterday just told me I was going to have.
So I'm like, okay, I guess I'mgoing to have that you know what
?
Speaker 1 (50:38):
I'm glad he's your effing ex, because anybody who's
gonna tell you that is damnwrong, because you have one of
the biggest hearts in such asmall body I've ever seen and
you have so much energy andyou're like I never knew that
you were, so I always forget howtiny you are.
And then you hug me and I'mlike wait, I'm tiny.
And she's like in my boobs andI'm like what?
Speaker 3 (51:02):
Larry calls me the Tasmanian devil.
You're like, the Tasmaniandevil.
So much energy in this tiniestbody of yours I'm like.
So you know what Jamaicanssayican, I just know.
but here's the thing podcastjust gives me a different energy
because I do not have theenergy.
The podcast energy that I bring, I do not have it in my life,
(51:23):
like I do have energy, but notthe podcast energy 24 7.
So I don't know if it's justthe excitement of being around
people who just pour onto youthat just makes it, because I
don't know how I survived fourfucking days being on top of
that energy.
And the thing is, even when I'mrunning a little bit low on
(51:44):
battery and I need to go torecharge, people come to me and
they're like what's wrong withyou?
Are you okay?
Did something happen?
I'm like no, I'm just tired.
I'm tired Like what's wrongwith you, are you okay?
Did something happen?
I'm like no, I'm just tired,I'm tired.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
You know it's funny, paula, because like I'm the same
way where I'm this hugeextrovert when I'm at PodFest.
Once I get there I had thatsocial anxiety before, but like
in real life I'm just like thiscool, chill, just girl, just
chilling, like I don't even liketo go out, I stay at home and I
watch Netflix, me too.
Speaker 3 (52:14):
I don't like people that much, even though I'm
extroverted, but I like creativepeople, I like process people,
but in my real life I don't likepeople that much, even though I
used to be the outdoorsy,always out, always wanting
people around me.
But since COVID and sincelearning to be by myself and
work on myself and creating thisbusiness, I don't like people
(52:36):
anymore like that.
I'm like please leave me alone.
Respectfully.
Speaker 1 (52:40):
Yeah, people suck for the most part.
I mean, you saw me here backfrom Nashville, you know people
suck.
Speaker 3 (52:46):
Yes, and that's why I only entertain Podfest people,
like literally my phone lately.
The people I talk to are mostlypeople from Podfest Especially
you and Amanda, you, Amanda andNancy, I need to start charging
you therapy money because y'allbe blowing on my phone every
hour, every fucking time Me andRusso, you, russo and Nancy,
(53:10):
russo and Nancy.
We need you.
Russo is sending voicemails twohours a day, but it's funny,
right.
I'm so used to getting likefive, six and there'll be two
minutes, three minutes, fourminutes voicemails, but then on
a day when it's so quiet, likeif the whole day I haven't even
(53:31):
received a message, I'll be likebitch, are you okay?
Because now I'm feeling likewhy did I receive even one voice
note today?
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (53:41):
So Amanda Russo made me cry four times yesterday.
Speaker 3 (53:46):
And she said it was a bad day today.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
Yeah, I've been sending her voice messages.
So the funny thing is isyesterday I'm at the nail salon
and she sends me a message andI'm crying, and then this is
what happened.
Do you see my ring fingers?
That's the we have cancerpodcast.
Podcast.
Logo for lee.
Speaker 3 (54:08):
Lee, that's sweet.
Speaker 1 (54:12):
It is so I also want to tell you, because I announced
it last night.
But I have decided to dedicatemy entire YouTube slash live
stream Blue Couch chat in Lee'shonor, so there will be a
picture of him and in honor ofLee Silverstein at the beginning
of every episode.
Speaker 3 (54:31):
I'm so proud of you and I'll be so happy you're
keeping his legacy going, asthat's what you wanted.
So we have seven minutes and weneed to wrap this up.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
So before we go, let the people know what Blue Couch
Chat is about and where they canfind you okay, so blue couch
chat, the idea of the name, kindof like red table talk, so it's
easier to remember for ourcommunity, right, but blue is my
favorite color, it's also, butsorry, sorry, just to be that
(55:08):
gone.
Speaker 3 (55:09):
You know red table talk has a red table and blue
couch chat.
I need to see a blue couch,okay, because?
Speaker 2 (55:16):
you're misleading me.
Speaker 3 (55:18):
Okay, I will sue for this misleading.
Speaker 1 (55:22):
I have the blue couch .
I had my entire set set up andthen my bedroom flooded in
November and I had to moveeverything out of my bedroom
into what's my studio.
So now that became storage, mybedroom into my studio.
So now that became storage.
So I have my couch.
I've had my couch for threeyears, paula.
Speaker 3 (55:41):
I've had my couch for three years.
Okay, go ahead.
I just wanted to make sure thatwe don't want what is it called
Misleading Brand.
Misleading, no, so.
Speaker 1 (55:52):
I have my blue couch.
It's a nice blue velvet couchwith like gold legs.
So I'm doing blue, gold andgreen.
You know, very luxurious, butblue is the color for colon
cancer.
It's also my favorite color.
Couch is where you invitesomeone to feel comfortable.
Also, when you're on yourtherapist, you're speaking to
your therapist.
You tend to lay on their couchfor that very reason.
(56:13):
It's a safe place.
And then the chat is like whatwe had tonight, paula an
unscripted, just authentic andtransparent and vulnerable
conversation that just, you know, just goes, and that's the
whole concept of blue couch chat.
I am at Blue Couch Chat onFacebook, Insta X, which is
(56:35):
still Twitter, and of course, onYouTube, blue Couch Chat.
I am Shansim Lee on Facebook,insta and yeah, so you can find
me.
You can also search me byShannon Lee-Sin on Facebook.
I also stream as Blue CouchChat on my personal LinkedIn as
Shannon Lee sin, and as bluecouch chat on LinkedIn too.
(56:57):
So, basically, if you'relooking for me, you can find me.
I'm easy to find.
When do you stream?
I stream every Friday eveningat around six o'clock.
Speaker 3 (57:08):
You're supposed to say that?
How else are people going tocome see your shit girl?
I need to teach you how elseare people gonna come see your
shit girl?
Speaker 1 (57:16):
we were supposed to take a shot for lee well, I have
my red bull, I didn't have my,I don't have my rum, but I do
have blue couch chat stuff.
So see, I'm official you'reofficial.
Speaker 3 (57:29):
I like you much, I'm proud of you, but, um, when we
were planning, when we wereplanning this, here're the one
who told me we need to take ashot.
So I don't know why you didn'thave your arm.
Speaker 1 (57:40):
Okay, well, we can do this.
This works.
Speaker 3 (57:43):
It doesn't.
What's the point?
The whole point is.
Can we go get my room?
I'm going to go get my room.
Yes, Quick, we have threeminutes left.
I have it ready.
Wait, oh my God, these people.
You know you can't bringAfrican Jamaican Islanders in
this shit, and they don't justmake shit happen.
Speaker 1 (58:08):
I went to three different liquor stores to find
a special rum from Jamaica andit's pretty rare and because you
know, when you give it a shotit has to be something special.
So this is Appleton, it's 12years, it's a rare cask, it is
freaking amazing and I'm sorryI'm having Bombay.
Sophia, that's a baby ass shotyou're doing girl, that's not a
(58:32):
Jamaican shot, so hold on.
Speaker 3 (58:34):
Because I've been drinking okay, I'm not trying to
black out here.
Okay, well, I feel like that'syour first drink, so you're
allowed to have that.
Speaker 2 (58:43):
But if you watched my live earlier.
Speaker 3 (58:46):
so, tuli, thank you for bringing us together and, as
they say, legends never die.
Your legacy will fucking liveon Forever and ever and beyond.
Speaker 1 (58:59):
Tuli, love you.
Pods of friendship.
All right, that is some smoothshit.
I love this so much.
Speaker 3 (59:09):
Not Bombay, sapphire.
Bombay ain't smooth for shit.
You need to get some of this.
I'll bring you some, but wehave one minute before we go.
Leave an advice for thosepeople scared to go get tested.
Speaker 1 (59:23):
The prevention is always better than the cure.
And the great thing about coloncancer it's the one cancer that
is actually preventable bydoing screening, which is the
colonoscopy.
I am going to say do thecolonoscopy.
That's the only way to preventthis cancer before it develops
and to actually find it andpossibly cut it out.
(59:44):
If it's an early stage, or atleast you're diagnosed, you
catch it early and then you cando the surgery and whatever.
But hopefully they'll catch itearly.
But if you do your colonoscopywhen you're supposed to,
hopefully you should be fine.
So just do it.
Healthcare is self-care.
Speaker 3 (59:58):
Thank you very much.
Thank you, shannon, foradvocating, motivating,
educating, informing, inspiringand giving hope to people out
there.
For everybody who's watching.
Who watched on live.
Thank you for watching.
For those who are going to tuneon replay.
Thank you who watched on live.
Thank you for watching.
For those who are going to tuneon replay.
Thank you Go out and check outBlue Coach Live.
She'll be having incredibleconversations and you can learn
a lot of shit.
Until next time, see you onShit Happens, shit Happens, shit
(01:00:27):
, shit happens, shit, shit, shithappens, shit, shit, shit, shit
happens, shit happens, shithappens, shit happens.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com