This One is For YOU!

Hey friend, this one is for you. In today’s Talks with Tab, I am sharing about putting yourself back on your own priority list. From daily reminders that “100% looks different” to letting go of the things that drain you; I get real about what it means to grow, grieve, and glow into the next chapter.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hey friends, it's your girl Tav with the Talks
With Tav podcast.
I am super excited to chatmagic, motivation, and
everything in between.
Whether you're listening in yourcar, your headphones, your work
laptop, or wherever you are, getready and let's get to it.

UNKNOWN (00:21):
Music

SPEAKER_00 (00:23):
Hey friend, I'm just popping in to say the best
investment you can ever make isinto you.
I mean, the best investment youcan ever make is into you.
So when you think about what isin it for me, as you approach a
situation, a class, a event,another degree, a certification,

(00:47):
I don't know, at this point,going to the store, right?
Anything that you are investingin, in your time and or
financial resources and or yourtalents and expertise to
identify how this aligns withyou, how this is working to
uplift you, how is this workingto nurture you, how is this

(01:09):
working to even stretch you,right?
Think about it.
Don't get too caught up in itbecause oftentimes we don't know
what is really in it for us orwhat it's going to do for us
until hindsight, so after it'sover, how However, I want us to
be, you know, us as in the peepsin the tab community, right?

(01:29):
I want us to all be lookinginward more.
Why?
Because we do a lot of lookingout for other people.
I am naturally connected to andmost of the time people that
naturally connect to me aredoers, right?
Your givers and your familiesand your organizations and your

(01:51):
jobs and your businesses.
you are, you're givers, right?
You pour so much into others.
You think about others.
You put yourself lastoftentimes.
And all of that is go right.
Okay.
You are an amazing human.
If you know me in real life, ifyou know me in internet life, if
you know about me, but you'rereally trying to get your feel,

(02:13):
it's pretty obvious that I'm apeople's people, right?
I'm a people's people.
I'm a people's person.
And I love my people.
I love my community.
I love my students.
I love the business owners thatI get to support.
I love the people that choose tofollow me and my journey.
I am very aligned with a lot ofcivic and philanthropic

(02:36):
organizations.
I thrive in serving and showingup for people.
But the reason that I am able todo it and do it at a level of
excellence to the best of myability is because I look
inward.
I identify what's up with tabwhat's going on with tab how can
I make tab better how can Istrengthen tab with the how can

(02:58):
tab tab with the tab whoever getsome rest to be able to continue
to show up for people to show upin spaces in the best way that I
can to be able to give myhundred for the day right I am
not looking at how can I give myhundred for the month I'm not
looking at how can I get myhundred for the year I'm looking

(03:19):
at how can I give my hundred forthe day even as a Very big
picture thinker.
I try to take things day by daybecause what I have learned,
especially in this past seasonof my life, is that every day my
100 doesn't look the same, butit is okay because my heart
posture never withers.
My heart posture stays the same.

(03:40):
I always have the bestintentions, but that doesn't
mean that every day is going tolook the same as the day before.
So I challenge you as wecatapult what it feels like,
with the year just and I feellike we say this every year but
it just seems to start goingfaster and faster and faster but
as we are catapulting into thelast few months of 2025 if

(04:05):
you're watching this in realtime it is around the end of
August and I want you to spendtime looking inward right what
are some things that you want todevelop right what are some
skills that you're like I wish Iknew how to do that or I want to
be better at that how can youyou weave in time into your
schedule to actually achievethat, right?

(04:27):
How can you put some metrics tothose inward goals?
Additionally, what are somethings that you know that you've
been doing that no longer serveyou and you want to work to get
them off your plate?
As doers, as givers, as peoplethat are committed to the things
that they do, it's often not anovernight process.

(04:47):
I'll give a very real example.
I was overcommitted as itrelates to board service.
And so I was saying, you know,there's a few that I'm about to
roll off of, or there's anopportunity for me to be able to
slide out at the end of a yearor the end of a fiscal year.
Let me assess how I can do that.
But I'm not just going to say,you know, unless it's an

(05:10):
unfortunate circumstance, right?
I'm not just going to say onerandom Tuesday, hey, I got to
get rid of this, right?
So assess your calendar, assessyour schedule, assess your
commitments.
And if there are things that nolonger serve you and you need to
take a step back or a step awaydo that do that in the way that
resonates most with you andhonor yourself sometimes it may

(05:34):
be a time that's not convenientfor others so you know trigger
warning for those who need itbut my mom died right and when
my mom died I baby the spiralwas spiraling okay and I didn't
even know it because in a senseI kept going while also standing
still while also crawling whilealso walking while also running

(05:56):
there were so many things thatoverlap because for me another
transparency moment work anddoing things is my scapegoat so
when I'm not doing my best thatis typically my scapegoat
scapegoat however losing mymother was a different type of
hurt and so my normalquote-unquote scapegoat wasn't
working for me continuing towork while it was somewhat of a

(06:19):
distraction and a in a band-aidor whatever I still needed time,
not only to grieve, but toidentify, you know, who am I?
Who am I becoming?
What's happening?
And really lean into the factthat it's a process.
It's a journey.
This is not an overnight.
Oh, a week after the funeral,I'm going to pop up and be okay.

(06:41):
Not that I thought that, but Ithink being in it hit different.
That said, there were somethings that I had to
disassociate myself with that Ididn't do it in the way that
maybe I I would have done it pregrief.
However, also pre death grief, Ihad pre death grief, right?
I was a caregiver, I saw mymom's decline happening.

(07:03):
And so that did something to meprior to that, I went through a
horrible, very public breakup.
So I was grieving not just theloss of that person in my life,
but the way that that made mefeel the future that I had
already had in my head.
So with I say all that to say,in those levels, of life

(07:23):
changes, there was somedecisions that I had to make
that I made them in a way thatwasn't as natural to me as I
would have liked.
However, reverting back to whatI said earlier, I gave my 100
for that time.
And if my 100 at that time wassending an email, even if it was
five minutes before the meeting,sending the email saying I'm not

(07:45):
going to make it, at least Isent it.
Or if I didn't make it and Ididn't send the email, at least
trying to follow up when Icalled and say hey I'm sorry I
didn't make it and honestly itreally taught me to detach from
how other people felt you don'thave to go through all that to

(08:05):
learn that because I'm tellingyou now and I want you to lean
into it when you do somethingthat is best for you allow
yourself to detach from how theother person is going to receive
it and just hope that they havethe grace the understanding
standing or whatever to be okay.
And even if they don't, that'sokay.

(08:29):
It's okay.
But I want you, my friend, to beokay with looking inward and
doing what is best for you.
And I am not at all approvingfor you to go run off on the
plug and be just, I'm doing me.
Do what's best for you.
But okay, friend, remember,we're leaders here, right?
I really, really, really,really, really, really, really,

(08:51):
really, really, really want Iwant you to take the remainder
of this year to lean inward.
And if you've already beenleaning inward, I want you to
take the rest of this year totake assessment of how that has
worked for you and how you planto carry that into 2026.
I have a secret.
And if you've heard previousepisodes, you've probably heard

(09:11):
it before.
If not, go back and listen.
You're pretty good.
But nine times out of ninetimes, nine times out of 10, a
lot of times, right?
People do not assume.
achieve those new year'sresolutions achieve the things
on those goal boards or getthings done because they do not
take one self-assessment to makerealistic goals even in being in

(09:34):
the lulu i like for you to bethe lulu have big dreams but
also understand that sometimesthose big dreams take big risk
they also take time sometimessometimes they happen quickly
and it's not even quickly if youthink about it because nine
times out of ten somethinghappened quick so Something
happening quickly is a result ofwork you've been doing.

(09:55):
It's a result of things youalready knew.
It's a result of you tappinginto your toolkit, right?
But when you don't lean inbefore setting goals, big,
small, or in between, it isreally hard for you to achieve
those, right?
For example, I have been sayingfor the longest what my weight
goal was and what I wanted to doas it related to my body and my

(10:18):
workout schedule and all ofthat.
If I don't take into account myactual schedule and then merge
the two, it's never going towork.
I'm always going to fail becauseI am not taking an assessment.
Maybe that's the same thing foryou.
Maybe it's that you want to addan extracurricular activity, but
you just keep saying you'regoing to do it, but you're not
putting a time towards it,right?

(10:39):
Maybe it's people that you wantto reconnect with or connect
with for the first time, butyou're not taking the first
step.
The examples can go on and onand on and on and on and on, but
friend, challenging you.
Look inward.
If you've been looking inward,take assessment and identify how
are you going to take this intothe rest of the year, the new

(11:02):
year, so much so that you justengrave it into your life.
It becomes a practice.
It becomes a ritual.
It becomes a habit.
And now it's a part of you,right?
Because once you take the stepand you keep taking the step and
you keep making a consciouseffort, it becomes a part of
you.
So this one, this one, myfriend, this was for you.

(11:22):
Let me know send me a dm send mean email if you got my number
text me let me know how thishelped you or if it helped you
to think about something anduntil next time I'll catch you
later Wasn't that good?
You just completed anotherepisode of the Toxic Tab

(11:44):
Podcast.
Anything that was referencedduring the show, the resources
can be found inside of the shownotes.
Additionally, if you would justlike to keep the conversation
going, feel free to find me onall the social channels.
And until next time, I'll catchyou later.