December 27, 2023 • 51 mins
The Holiday Episode- S2Ep3
The holidays are a time of celebration, lights, and precious memories…or at least that’s what the greeting cards say. Whether your season is merry and bright or another entree into the dreary days of winter, settle in for an extraordinary call-in episode with stories from a few of my friends.
Tell Her This is a podcast of honest, heartfelt, and real stories from women and for women who live real lives and are as messy and complex as they are beautiful. No advice. No self-help. Just perspective and stories.
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This episode includes music by Maya Rogers. Click here to hear more from Maya and support her new project, Orion and The Remembering Tree!
Thanks for listening! Please subscribe, leave a rating, and follow Tell Her This on all platforms @tellherthispodcast
This episode includes music by Maya Rogers. Click here to hear more from Maya and support her new project, Orion and The Remembering Tree!
Thanks for listening! Please subscribe, leave a rating, and follow Tell Her This on all platforms @tellherthispodcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Happy holidays and welcome back to Tell Her this
podcast, a storytelling podcastfrom women.
No advice, no self-help, justperspective and stories.
I'm your host, rachelle Rice,and this is our second annual
holiday episode where you'llfind stories of all the season
(00:22):
has to offer, plus a little more.
For some of us, the holidaysare a time of joy and
expectation and for others, deepsadness and discomfort.
Wherever you find yourself,please know that I am holding
you in my heart and praying thatin the coming days and weeks
you find ease and gentleness.
(00:44):
Alright, let's get started.
Restless wonder, you'relistening to Tell Her this
podcast.
Why won't you?
This first story comes to usfrom actor, singer and founding
(01:08):
member of the legendary SweetHoney in the Rock, louise
Robinson.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I grew up in New York City and I remember every
Christmas it was snow.
I mean, every Christmas it wassnow.
Sometimes the snow would be ashigh as four feet.
We'd go outside and diveheadfirst into the snow or take
our sleds down the hill becausethe cars couldn't move so the
whole street was just wide open.
(01:39):
We'd take our sleds all the waydown the hill.
Sometimes we'd build snowmen,sometimes we'd make snowballs
and have snowball fights.
We'd make snow canes and getinto the cave.
It was just a glorious time inNew York and every Christmas Eve
my brother and I my olderbrother and I we would wrap
ourselves in blankets and sit onthe radiator.
(02:02):
The apartments in New York hadradiators.
We lived in a three bedroomapartment and this radiator was
situated right under the window,so we would sit on the radiator
and watch the snow fall.
We weren't allowed to go intothe living room and look at our
gifts until five in the morning,so of course we couldn't sleep.
(02:23):
We'd sit on the radiator andjust talk and try to anticipate
what we were getting and justwatch the snow quietly, just
land on top of the previous snow.
And my brother I remember hewas so sentimental about
Christmas we decorate the treeand you couldn't take the
(02:46):
icicles and throw them onto thetree which I like to do so that
they would just fall naturallyin the branch.
We had to place the icicles,each one, on the branch so they
would hang just right.
He was just so sentimentalabout Christmas.
And then we grew up and he wentoff to war and he came back,
(03:08):
but he never came back the sameand it took me years and years
of growing and living to realize, wow, he was just a teenager
when he went off to war andnever came back the same and
would never experience asentimental Christmas like the
ones we know again.
(03:29):
It put me in mind of a songwritten by Ron Miller and Brian
Wells entitled Someday atChristmas.
It was sung by Stevie Wonderand here are some of the lyrics.
It says Someday at Christmas,men won't be boys playing with
bombs like kids play with toys.
On one December, our heartswill see a world when men are
(03:52):
free.
Someday at Christmas there'llbe no wars.
When we have learned whatChristmas is for, when we have
found what life's really worth,there'll be peace on Earth.
Someday, all our dreams willcome to be, someday in a world
where men are free.
Maybe not in time for you andme, but Someday at Christmas
(04:14):
time.
Someday at Christmas we'll seea land with no hungry children,
no empty hand.
One happy morning people willshare our world where people
care.
Oh, someday at Christmasthere'll be no tears, when all
men are equal and no man hasfears.
One shining moment, one prayeraway from our world today.
(04:38):
Someday all our dreams willcome to be, someday in a world
where men are free.
Maybe not in time for you andme, but Someday at Christmas
time.
Someday at Christmas, men willnot fail, hate will be gone and
love will prevail.
Someday, a new world that wecan start with hope in every
(05:02):
heart.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
This next story is from Dr Jessica Phillips-Silver,
music neuroscientist andcreator of the show Finding
Rhythm a journey through amusical brain, who, you may
remember, was mentioned in avery special memory in episode
14 of season one.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
This is Jessica Phillips-Silver, and this is a
story about the winter holidaysas a child growing up in
Philadelphia.
So when I was a child, myfamily would celebrate Hanukkah
in the wintertime, and Hanukkahis not the most important Jewish
holiday in the year, but itdoes offer a moment of light and
(05:52):
warmth and celebration duringthe cold, dark season, and I
remember, as a family, cookingspecial foods and having special
treats and, most of all,lighting the candles and saying
prayers.
But there was something specialthat happened after the dinner
(06:13):
and the candle lighting and theprayers each of the eight nights
of Hanukkah, which is thatthere were some gifts involved.
And while gift giving is notnecessarily a traditional part
of this holiday, it is one thatcertainly helps, adds to the joy
(06:33):
and the celebration and theexcitement for children.
Now, my father created atradition around the gift giving
for Hanukkah that was a littlebit unusual and a little bit
special, and what he did was hecreated a game in which every
night before we received a gift,we would actually have to find
(06:55):
our gift that was hiddensomewhere in the house, and the
way we would find it is he hadwritten on a slip of paper some
particular hint or clue, andthose clues or hints could come
from anything at all, andfrequently my father, who is a
music lover, would choose a songlyric that was supposed to
(07:18):
invoke.
Using our imagination, lead usto find where in the house our
gift may be hidden.
One song lyric that I neverforget that was used by my
father, certainly more than oneyear during my gift hunting, was
(07:38):
this song lyric that said therain in Spain falls mainly in
the plains.
You know where that's from,that's the musical my Fair Lady.
The rain in Spain falls mainlyin the plains, and so I'd have
to think about what is this songlyric trying to tell me?
And it would turn out that therain was actually a hint for me
(08:03):
to go look in the shower, and Iwould go to the bathroom and
pull open the shower curtain andthere in the shower was a small
wrapped gift, and I wouldunwrap it and I would enjoy it,
and it was a lovely, quirkylittle tradition that we had
that I've never met anotherfamily who had this same
tradition and I'm not quite evensure when or why my father made
(08:29):
it up.
But there is something importantthat I think I now understand
as an adult.
I think, looking back, thatmaking this sort of scavenger
hunt game out of our gifts overthis holiday was actually a way
of keeping the focus of ourcelebrations on our family
(08:55):
values.
So my parents were and are,very non-materialistic.
They both had very, verychallenging upbringings and
didn't have very much at all.
In fact, my father is animmigrant refugee to this
country and a survivor ofgenocide, and I don't even know
what this holiday would havelooked like if they had stayed
(09:18):
in the old country.
There's no way for me to knowthat actually at this point in
time.
But I think that I understandnow, especially as I raise my
own children and I carry on thistradition, that by placing the
emphasis of the celebration andof the gift giving on the
(09:41):
finding of the gift, he wasactually turning our focus
towards the joy being in thatactivity as a family.
So I remember hunting for thesepresents and trying to figure
out the song lyrics or the cluesand figuring out where they
were, and I almost neverremember what the gifts were,
(10:06):
and the truth is that sometimesthe gifts were quite small, like
I might have received when Iwas little, a box of crayons, or
, when I was older and an artist, a box of colored pencils or
charcoal or drawing paper orsomething reflecting my passion
(10:27):
and my loves, but notnecessarily very big or
expensive or elaborate gifts.
I think that when I look backnow as an adult and as a parent,
my parents were finding theirown unique ways of keeping the
holiday celebrations consistentwith their values.
(10:50):
I'm so grateful that theyraised me that way.
I'm so grateful that theycreated traditions for our
family that would enable us toreceive gifts and have these
special moments as a family butmost of all, find the joy and
(11:10):
the celebration in that, thosemoments of play, those moments
of engaging in that activity asa family.
When I look at my children now,I've carried on this tradition
of hiding their gifts andwriting down clues or telling
them or even singing them cluesfor them to find their gifts.
(11:34):
I see their faces of excitementwhen they know that this moment
of the evening is coming andthey go and find their gifts.
No matter how small their giftmay be, their joy in that moment
is huge every single time.
I think it's something magicalwhen we can connect with that
(12:01):
sense of anticipation andcuriosity and even wonder in the
child at this idea that there'ssomething hidden in my home.
I know it's just for me.
I don't know what it is orwhere it is.
That joy, that level ofgratification is actually enough
(12:28):
.
I think we know this as adults,but forget the anticipation and
the excitement is where the joylives.
The gift itself isinconsequential.
It's not what actually holdsthe mean value.
(12:53):
I think back to what was myfather have been thinking when
he created this tradition, and Idon't even know to what extent
he did this intentionally orwhether this playfulness was
simply something spontaneousthat came out of him.
(13:13):
But I'm so thankful to myparents for the way they raised
my brother and myself and forthese traditions that they
created, despite having hadchildhoods of a lot of pain and
a lot of difficulty.
(13:34):
I think that for me, at thismoment in my life, as their
daughter and as my children'smother, when this time of year
comes and the days are shorterand the sky is darker and the
temperatures are colder andthere are moments of reflection,
(13:57):
there are moments of loss andletting go, there are moments of
hope and possibility, there aremoments of lighting those
candles and saying those prayersand reflecting on what's really
important.
I think that my fathereffectively captured for me what
(14:17):
is most important about thisholiday.
In that simple little game thathe created for us, he taught me
that the joy in gift giving isin the moments of connection,
the moments of anticipation andsimply engaging in the process
(14:40):
together.
All the rest is not reallywhere the value lies, and so
there's never any gift that'stoo small, and there's never
anything to expect or anythingto need or require for that
sense of gratification andcontentment and peace and joy.
(15:04):
I'm so grateful to my fatherfor giving me that, and I'm
really grateful to have childrento pass that tradition on to.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Integrity Reeves is a singer band leader, music
educator and new mommy to themost precious and sweetest
little bean I have ever met.
This is her holiday memory.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
Hi, my name is Integrity Reeves and I'm going
to tell you about a fewChristmas memories.
So one of them happened.
I think it was about 1996 or1997.
It was a Christmas that I willnever forget and I think about
(15:55):
it often.
So I put some specific thingson my Christmas list that year,
as I always did.
I'm pretty detailed Christmaslist with.
You know, we didn't haveinternet at that time, the old
(16:16):
days, so it was, you know,catalog numbers, very specific
page numbers.
You know it was a lot, not alot of things necessarily, but
it was just very like.
No, it needs to be this exactthing.
And I always would wake upreally early in the morning to,
(16:40):
you know, go down and see whatChristmas brought me.
That's what my mom and grandmawould always say.
Let's go see what Christmasbrought you, where.
I'd wake them up and then theywould say that.
So it ran downstairs and, to mywonderment, everything that I
asked for specifically was rightunder the tree and my mom or
(17:04):
Santa, however, you know,whatever people liked it say
never would wrap anything.
So everything was, you know,laid out in front of the tree,
like you know, looked like toysor just a feast for the eyes and
I was just so excited and sograteful to have this.
(17:25):
Just, you know, wow, christmasreally honored my, my specific
Christmas list and I hugged mymom and I hugged my grandma and
I was just so happy and they,you know, they, they were
excited too and they, theydidn't say much, which was
surprising to me.
You know, they normally arelike so overjoyed and you know,
(17:50):
celebrating with me and you know, playing with me, playing with
the new things, they didn't saytoo much.
So I was kind of confused aboutthat, but I was just so excited
about the things I didn't Ididn't pay too much attention to
them.
So a few minutes later, my momis like hey, take, don't you?
You know, are you missinganything?
(18:12):
And I was just dancing aroundand just so excited as if
there's, there's nothing I couldhave possibly missed,
everything I've.
I've looked at you know,unboxed, and just gone to town
on she's like Taggy, hello, isthere anything you missed?
And I, just I did notunderstand like what she, what
(18:36):
she meant.
So finally she said, tag,what's under that sheet?
And I said, what sheet?
So I, I turn around and thereis a bright yellow sheet
covering something.
I don't know what it is, butit's a.
You couldn't have missed it.
(18:56):
You know, if it was a snake itwould have bit me, like it was
just blaringly loud the color.
So, you know, I was like I don'tknow.
I don't know what this is Like.
I've gotten everything that Iasked for, every detailed thing
that I put on there was rightunder the tree.
There's nothing, nothing that I, nothing more than I, asked for
(19:18):
.
So why don't you open?
You know, take a look at the,take a look under the sheet.
So I go over and I'm kind ofscared cause I'm like, you know,
was it a dog?
I don't, she didn't ask for adog, or you know, I just
couldn't figure out what it,what it could be.
So I pulled the sheet back andthere was this giant wooden
(19:42):
dollhouse with 10 rooms andfolding doors, and it was the
most beautiful thing I'd everseen.
And I hadn't asked for it, Ididn't even, you know, it was
not on my radar at all, but Ijust fell in love with it and to
(20:04):
this day it is one of my most,you know, treasured possessions.
But you know, that story, thatmemory has always stuck with me
and I use it often in momentswhere I'm overlooking something,
and I think of that Christmasmemory and how this beautiful,
(20:30):
beautiful thing that I hadn'tasked for was right in front of
me the whole time and I, youknow, only had to just pull back
the sheet so fast forward to tothis Christmas, christmas 2023,
.
I became a mommy three monthsago and it's been a journey.
(20:59):
To put it mildly, it's the mostbeautiful and joyful thing I've
experienced.
It's also one of the mostdifficult things.
I haven't really been able toput everything into words until
now, but, reflecting back on it,I had a lot of complications
(21:26):
during my pregnancy and thengiving birth itself was really
traumatic, and since then it'sjust been one thing after the
next, and for a while I wasreally starting to spiral a
(21:46):
little bit.
I felt like I was in a tailspin.
All I could see was thechallenges and the pain and the
tiredness, and not to mentionhow expensive babies are, and
(22:10):
feeling like, well, we're notgoing to have the Christmas that
I would love to have, where I'mable to give my family a lot of
gifts and I'm able to give myhusband a wonderful gift, and I
was just feeling really downabout it.
And then that memory came backto my mind about the things that
(22:39):
I had been overlooking, andthat thing for me right now is
that we made it.
I made it through, health-wise,in a situation where I could
have easily not.
And our baby is healthy andshe's a fighter.
(23:01):
She made it through some thingsthat she could have easily not
made it through.
And my family is here tosupport me and have this amazing
community of friends andfamilies that I get to be a part
of through my work, that havesupported me in ways that I
(23:27):
didn't even think was possiblefinancially, emotionally, and
all of those things were rightthere kind of the beginning.
I was just overlooking it.
I was just overlooking it andit was their biggest day, right
(23:49):
under that yellow sheet, and Ijust needed to pull back my
delusion about how things wereand how things are, and I now am
able to see just how many giftsI have not physical gifts this
(24:15):
year, but still just as tangibleand it's just been a really
great reminder to look under thesheet.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
So Up next we have something short and sweet from
award-winning musician and hostof Common Core podcast, eliza
Jane Tebow.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
My name is Eliza Tebow and I am a DC area
musician, and I would like toshare a little story from 1987
for my holiday memory.
I had just moved with my familyto Fredericksburg, virginia, and
my father had just gotten hismaster's degree in fine art and
(25:09):
was looking everywhere for a jobas an artist and was having a
lot of trouble.
And then he was just looking forany job and he found a hard
time job making door harps thatwere these beautiful pieces of
wood with chimes on them andthere was a little heart shaped
(25:32):
cut out in the center.
And you know, that year becausehe was, you know, struggling to
make an income and my mom wasdoing the best with her job we
didn't have a lot of money forChristmas and what my dad
decided to do is bring home allof those little wooden hearts
(25:54):
and paint them and put them onour tree.
So he brought them home fromwork and my sister and I and my
parents painted each heart withred paint and put a little
ribbon at the top and hung themon the tree.
And that Christmas we had a lotof red hearts on our tree and
(26:16):
we still have those today, some36 years later.
And so when I'm digging throughmy boxes of holiday decorations
and I see one of those hearts,I remember that Christmas and I
remember to be grateful for allthat you have always and, yeah,
(26:42):
that's my holiday memory.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
This next memory is from beloved.
Tell her this storyteller,Peggy, who you would have heard
in episodes seven and eight ofseason one the greatest love
story ever told.
Speaker 6 (27:02):
Merry Christmas, happy New Year everybody.
This is the most wonderful andbeautiful time of the year,
first of all because wecelebrate the birth of Jesus
Christ, our Lord and Savior.
And for me personally, Icherish this time of the year
(27:24):
also because it is the time ofyear that my husband, bobby, and
I made the best memories withfamily, with friends, neighbors
and people that we encountered.
In general, this time of theyear offers so much in the way
(27:47):
of pulling people together justto lend itself to having parties
, going shopping, purchasinggifts, all of those things.
And the giving part is the partthat is most near and dear to
me.
It's the part that I enjoy themost.
So I claim Christmas time asthe best time of the year where
(28:11):
I have my fondest memories.
Now, over the past 43, 44 years, my husband and I which was a
Tyler Woon-Mary he passed awaynine years ago now.
So the memories that we madealong the way, of the wounds
that I call them, that I recall,that I remember and I hold them
(28:33):
near and dear to my heart.
So this time of the year for meis especially the heartfelt,
simply because of the thingsthat we did all during the year.
We started in.
Really, we started aroundNovember, so we started cooking
all this food in November andthen it rose right all through
(28:55):
the new year and especially atChristmas time, because that's
when you get your heavydecorations and for me I always
say the guardian, and the morethe better.
I love those things thebeautiful Christmas music, the
food, the people, the gifts, allthose things going to making
(29:15):
Christmas time a special time ofthe year.
And little did I know, as wewere making all those beautiful,
wonderful memories from day onein our relationship, I never
considered that those were goingto be the memories that were
going to sustain me at 75 yearsof age.
But those are the memories thatto this day sustain me, that
(29:40):
helped me to get from one day tothe next.
Precious memories, y'all.
How they linger.
I treasure those memories.
Those are golden treasures thatI hold near and dear to my
heart.
It's like I gotta put them in avault, and this time of the
year especially, I open thevault and they just flow out
(30:02):
very freely.
And then, throughout the year,this time of the year comes back
to me in terms of the thingsthat we did, the shopping I can
remember.
Now that we're in the midst ofChristmas.
We're a week out from Christmas.
I can just remember all thosenights when my husband, bobby,
and I would go out shopping,freezing cold, and he'd just say
(30:26):
to me go ahead and do what youwant to do and get what you want
to get and come on, I'll justsit here waiting on you.
Sometimes he'd sit in the carall the time, if ever somewhere
to sit in the establishment orstore, somewhere he can do that
but for the most part he wouldsit in that car and listen to
jazz music and be just ascontent.
Never a crossword, never a rushme or anything like that.
(30:50):
And to this day I appreciatethat.
But the memory of that is whatis so beautiful, absolutely
gorgeous.
I mean just a beautiful time.
Even now, like I said, we are aweek out from Christmas and I
am just so excited about theholiday season and of course, I
(31:13):
miss my husband.
I miss him dearly.
I miss him 365 days a year.
I miss him every single day.
But guess what?
The memories help to fill thevoid.
So I encourage you, whoever youare, whatever kind of
relationship you have, whateverkind of relationship you're in,
(31:35):
stop and make some good memories.
If you're not already doing it.
Make some good memories, dosome memorable things, say some
memorable things.
You know saying that give me myflowers and my roses while I'm
living.
This is what my husband and Ideal with each other.
We complimented each other, weloved each other.
We did things for each other asmuch as we could without you
(31:59):
know, just consciousness andsaying, well, I'm going to do
this, this and this because oneday you're going to be gone.
We didn't do it like that.
It just came natural for us todo good stuff towards one
another Because we were thatcouple that was loving first
sight.
I met my husband in June of 1973.
(32:21):
And by 1974 of February we weremarried.
So it was a love at first sightthing for us.
So from day one we began to dothings for each other that would
make a mark on our relationshipand I think God that he allowed
(32:41):
us to do that.
We did it in the name of Jesusand I'm proud of it.
I don't mind saying it toanybody.
I know beyond the shadow that Ihad a VBS husband in the world
and I cherish those memories.
I cherish those times.
So this time of the year is myfavorite time of the year
because of a lot of reasons, andthere were a lot of things that
(33:06):
go into making memories, butthis time of the year is my time
that I believe in again.
I still, to this day, I do somethings that are reminiscent of
what I did last year and theyear before, 10 years or 15
years ago or however many years,but those things are etched
(33:27):
into my spirit and will alwaysbe what I rely on as far as
having good memories of the goodtimes in life.
You got to make those memories.
It's this work.
(33:47):
You got to work at it.
I'm telling y'all work on it,work at it, do what you have to
do to get those memories etchedinto your life in a way that
they will sustain you.
Because I'm telling you, if youdon't have those good memories
in those loved ones, you knowthe Lord takes them and they are
no longer with you.
What else do you have?
(34:09):
So I thank God today that Ihave the memories.
I thank God today that he gaveme a man in my life that loved
me and I loved him back.
We had a mutual respect andlove for each other that led
(34:32):
itself to making good memoriesand again, christmas time is
just one of those beautifultimes of the year within itself,
and having him in my life aspart of just me, it was like I
had to say graviolant potatoes,extra-graviolant potatoes.
So, again, make good memorieswith those that you love and
(34:52):
that you're close to, so thatwhen you need those memories,
they'll be there for you to graba hold of.
And, trust me, memories willtake you places that you can't
even imagine.
I can't even imagine now that Ihave to rely on my members,
what I would even do withoutthose great, precious memories.
(35:12):
Hopefully this time of the yearfor you is a good time of the
year in that you're doing yourshopping or cooking or whatever.
Feel your life with those greatmemories.
Feel your life with those greatthings.
Pray lots, do kind things forsomebody else, be kind to
yourself as well.
Just wanted to come your wayfor these few short minutes and
(35:37):
hope that you'll take some ofwhat I said and use it to create
good memories and just rememberprecious memories, how they
linger.
Merry Christmas, happy new year, love you guys.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Next up is a story from a woman who is as gracious
as she is ever-vescent ExecutiveDirector of the Mayor's Office
on Women's Policy andInitiatives here in Washington
DC, ms Natasha Dupy.
Speaker 7 (36:09):
Happy holidays.
I'm so excited to walk throughmemory lane with you.
My vision of an amazing holidaystory comes when we were in
lockdown, so pre-vaccine seasonof the COVID-19 pandemic.
I'm here in Washington DC,where the majority of my family
(36:34):
is based as well.
This holiday is very meaningful.
It is a family reunion of sortsfor my family.
We are very much known forbeing Type A, with all seasons
of gathering.
That looks like having a prayermeeting at some point within
(36:54):
that gathering, having photos,definitely lots of play, and
then platter and platter withfood To be isolated.
We had to take that with anasterisk, of course we were
going to gather.
How could we make it possiblein a virtual sense, if not
virtual and we were able togather in person, how could we
(37:17):
do so safely and also continuethose elements of our family fun
?
I'm going to experiment withfood in terms of a recipe or
cleaning out your kitchen.
How can we make something work?
That Christmas, I decided that Iwas going to experiment with
(37:39):
two dishes.
One was the main dish and itwas stuffed plantains with jerk
pork ribs.
I've only made it once and Iwould that day with pickled
onions, and it was absolutelyamazing.
The second dish that I made was.
(38:00):
It was called mocha mourningrolls.
These were baked cinnamon rollsbut they had espresso as a part
of the dish.
You definitely have the best ofboth worlds the seat, but also
the cake and the boost in thearoma of coffee.
I made these both from scratch.
(38:22):
There was not a heat and stiroption.
I think being able to spendtime preparing a dish that I
would ultimately share with manymembers of my family as an
extension of love was anopportunity for a fellowship
that I deeply cherish.
(38:44):
On that day as well, I'll callit Operation Coin Setter.
I delivered over 150 coinsetters to neighbors, families
and close friends.
I had just won my first electedcampaign here in the district
(39:07):
and I sent out my thank youcards immediately after getting
campaign contributions, which iscustom called folks who had
extended encouragementthroughout the campaign.
It was on my heart to show upin person for folks that I had
(39:27):
knocked on doors with andthought they might enjoy having
a plant for the season.
I would call or text theneighbors and say are you home?
I wish that often we buy forourselves or we see in places as
(39:55):
decorations.
I had never received the coinsetter as a gift and I don't
think many of my neighbors hadeither.
That year I was able to get somany colors of coin setters.
(40:15):
I think some of the businesseswere closed and so folks who
usually have first gifts orbuying blocks, some of the pink
or the white, yellow floweredcoin setters.
They were more available.
I stocked up on so many colors.
(40:35):
After we managed Operation CoinSetter, it was back to
connecting with my family.
That meant stopping at Granny'shouse, which is like our anchor
.
My granny always has live trees.
She had two trees up decoratedwith lights.
We came in, we being all of mycousins, so over a dozen folks.
(41:02):
Our parents came in masks.
The N95s or folks were doublemasks.
We sang Christmas carols.
I think I started us off withSilent Night and it was quickly
transitioned into a more upbeatsong, which I think was
(41:25):
indicative of the moment.
We cherished the content, thesentiment of the songs, but I
think we all needed a pop-up.
We did an upbeat rendition ofHeart, the Herald, angel Singh,
and all of these moments arecaptured on film, which I also
think is a very beautiful,telling moment of that season.
(41:48):
The goal with visiting mygrandma's house was so that we
could do our photo shoot.
It was socially distanced.
We did our caroling and weexchanged our contributions to
the meal.
So, instead of having plattersand we served each other
together, there was lots oftougher wear, aluminum foil
(42:09):
sandwich bags, with tape, as youwill of the menu that all the
family members had prepared.
We went home dispersed so thatwe could hop on Zoom with family
members who may not have beenable to come out to meet at
Granny's house, but then also toconnect with those who may be
(42:33):
out of town.
That was a super exciting one,because we played a scavenger
hunt game that I vividlyremember, cruising up the stairs
of my house and then going downto the basement to find
different items.
Usually, I think folks playthis scavenger hunt game Maybe
have baby showers.
(42:53):
We have to look in your bag tosee if you have an item but it
was quite amazing to see folksscatter across this room.
This was all recorded as well,so we can look back on it as we
cruise their houses for lip balmor spatula different items.
That were super fun.
(43:14):
I think this was also a verymemorable holiday season,
because this was the lastChristmas that we shared with my
grandfather.
On my dad's side.
He transitioned on January 6,2021.
(43:34):
Many folks remember that day foranother reason, in America and
in Washington DC, but I thinkback to how, a week and a half
prior, I got to see mygrandfather, who was a
self-proclaimed the funniestperson you'll ever meet.
I'll let him keep that title.
(43:54):
I got to see my grandfather inlaughter and what I would
believe is peace, true, enjoyingthe season.
I could see all of hisgrandchildren, his living
children.
We could fellowship in a waythat was safe.
We could record.
(44:17):
I'm really grateful for that.
Even now, prior to the pandemic, we would have in-person
gatherings.
You have to be there.
If you weren't there, you mighthave missed out.
You might only see the photo ora couple seconds that were
clicked from a post for socialmedia.
(44:38):
I cherish being able tocultivate those memories and
laugh there and run around andbeing socially distanced and
safe.
Also, being able to cherish andhave recorded memories of my
last Christmas with mygrandfather.
I think with that I'll end theplaying on my memory from the
(45:04):
2020 socially distancedChristmas experience.
I'm really grateful that I havea two-minute drive to my
sister's house and I was able todo it for the grandmothers.
You will put on makeup for thefirst time in forever and put on
an outfit, but even more soagain I have a level of
(45:28):
proximity to people that I loveand I'm checking on my neighbors
to again.
We never know what season orwhether we'll come to our
households and so mine, whetherwe can have after Christmas some
of our neighbors.
It was before and I think theholidays remind us to check in
(45:53):
and then, for those who arepresent, to love heart.
Happy holidays.
Speaker 1 (46:03):
Now I'd like to share my holiday story.
Growing up, the holidays werealways a special time.
My parents did a wonderful jobof helping to capture and grow
wonder of the season,celebrating and practices of our
Christian faith, visiting withfriends and family and all of
(46:25):
the music and joy of mycommunity.
And my mother?
Well, she literally glowedduring this time of year.
The house was beautifullydecorated, cozy, luxurious even.
She threw dinner parties andhosted families.
She served others and shared somuch warmth and care.
(46:48):
I'm not gonna lie y'all, ourhouse felt like the epicenter of
all things Christmas joy, and Iloved every minute of it.
When my parents separated duringmy senior year of high school
and my brother, mom and I movedto a new home, my mom did her
(47:08):
usual magical black woman thingshe held my brother and me in a
cocoon of stability and love ina way that I imagine must have
been incredibly difficult, asshe was navigating her own
personal transitions.
As the holiday season journey,I could sense a small feeling of
(47:29):
dread seeping over the three ofus.
What would the holidays looklike now, and could we hold all
the expectation of the season?
The decorations were just asbeautiful and we were going
through the motions of holidaycheer, but there was a lot
missing.
Our new house was lovely butheld none of the collective
(47:52):
memory of years past.
We were missing our family unitas a whole and wondering if
Christmas would ever have themagic that was so central to our
season.
Now I'm a chef, that my mom is achef and for many years had a
gorgeous, fine dining restaurant.
Family meals, especially at theholidays, were a big deal, with
(48:17):
all of the fixings, the tablewas immaculately set with
Christmas spode, chinacollections and a full course of
intricate and delicious food.
But for this year, this muchsmaller, more muted year, my mom
decided to make a simplerChristmas dinner of hamburgers
(48:40):
and mac and cheese.
My brother and I were delighted, but it was a serious departure
from our normal Christmas andfrom the usual, more formal
meals of our upbringing.
So on Christmas Day we ate ourburgers around the dining table
in our kitchen.
We smiled and laughed at howabsurd it all felt and we held
(49:05):
our individual sadness of how somuch was changing.
And after we ate, we didsomething that we'd never done
before and never done since wewent to the movies, and I don't
even remember what movie we saw,but what I do remember is that
my mother did what she hadalways done she held us together
(49:30):
, she glowed, she created awonderful and memorable
Christmas.
That Christmas, I learned thattraditions are only as
meaningful as the people weshare them with.
I saw an example of how to begentle with myself in seasons of
(49:51):
disappointment and, mostimportantly, I witnessed my
mother create beauty even in herbrokenness, and that was the
best gift.
Thank you.
(50:40):
Please share this episode with afriend and leave a rating or
review.
This episode includes music byMaya Rogers.
You can find out more aboutMaya and her latest project,
orion and the Remembering Tree,through the links in the show
notes.
Editing and Sound Design byRachelle Rice, mixing and
(51:02):
Editing by Ray Jala, and I'myour host, rachelle Rice, and
you can find me at Rachelle RiceMusic across all social
platforms.
Until next time, happy holidays, be true and be well.
Happy holidays and welcome back to Tell Her this
podcast, a storytelling podcastfrom women.
No advice, no self-help, justperspective and stories.
I'm your host, rachelle Rice,and this is our second annual
holiday episode where you'llfind stories of all the season
(00:22):
has to offer, plus a little more.
For some of us, the holidaysare a time of joy and
expectation and for others, deepsadness and discomfort.
Wherever you find yourself,please know that I am holding
you in my heart and praying thatin the coming days and weeks
you find ease and gentleness.
(00:44):
Alright, let's get started.
Restless wonder, you'relistening to Tell Her this
podcast.
Why won't you?
This first story comes to usfrom actor, singer and founding
(01:08):
member of the legendary SweetHoney in the Rock, louise
Robinson.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
I grew up in New York City and I remember every
Christmas it was snow.
I mean, every Christmas it wassnow.
Sometimes the snow would be ashigh as four feet.
We'd go outside and diveheadfirst into the snow or take
our sleds down the hill becausethe cars couldn't move so the
whole street was just wide open.
(01:39):
We'd take our sleds all the waydown the hill.
Sometimes we'd build snowmen,sometimes we'd make snowballs
and have snowball fights.
We'd make snow canes and getinto the cave.
It was just a glorious time inNew York and every Christmas Eve
my brother and I my olderbrother and I we would wrap
ourselves in blankets and sit onthe radiator.
(02:02):
The apartments in New York hadradiators.
We lived in a three bedroomapartment and this radiator was
situated right under the window,so we would sit on the radiator
and watch the snow fall.
We weren't allowed to go intothe living room and look at our
gifts until five in the morning,so of course we couldn't sleep.
(02:23):
We'd sit on the radiator andjust talk and try to anticipate
what we were getting and justwatch the snow quietly, just
land on top of the previous snow.
And my brother I remember hewas so sentimental about
Christmas we decorate the treeand you couldn't take the
(02:46):
icicles and throw them onto thetree which I like to do so that
they would just fall naturallyin the branch.
We had to place the icicles,each one, on the branch so they
would hang just right.
He was just so sentimentalabout Christmas.
And then we grew up and he wentoff to war and he came back,
(03:08):
but he never came back the sameand it took me years and years
of growing and living to realize, wow, he was just a teenager
when he went off to war andnever came back the same and
would never experience asentimental Christmas like the
ones we know again.
(03:29):
It put me in mind of a songwritten by Ron Miller and Brian
Wells entitled Someday atChristmas.
It was sung by Stevie Wonderand here are some of the lyrics.
It says Someday at Christmas,men won't be boys playing with
bombs like kids play with toys.
On one December, our heartswill see a world when men are
(03:52):
free.
Someday at Christmas there'llbe no wars.
When we have learned whatChristmas is for, when we have
found what life's really worth,there'll be peace on Earth.
Someday, all our dreams willcome to be, someday in a world
where men are free.
Maybe not in time for you andme, but Someday at Christmas
(04:14):
time.
Someday at Christmas we'll seea land with no hungry children,
no empty hand.
One happy morning people willshare our world where people
care.
Oh, someday at Christmasthere'll be no tears, when all
men are equal and no man hasfears.
One shining moment, one prayeraway from our world today.
(04:38):
Someday all our dreams willcome to be, someday in a world
where men are free.
Maybe not in time for you andme, but Someday at Christmas
time.
Someday at Christmas, men willnot fail, hate will be gone and
love will prevail.
Someday, a new world that wecan start with hope in every
(05:02):
heart.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
This next story is from Dr Jessica Phillips-Silver,
music neuroscientist andcreator of the show Finding
Rhythm a journey through amusical brain, who, you may
remember, was mentioned in avery special memory in episode
14 of season one.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
This is Jessica Phillips-Silver, and this is a
story about the winter holidaysas a child growing up in
Philadelphia.
So when I was a child, myfamily would celebrate Hanukkah
in the wintertime, and Hanukkahis not the most important Jewish
holiday in the year, but itdoes offer a moment of light and
(05:52):
warmth and celebration duringthe cold, dark season, and I
remember, as a family, cookingspecial foods and having special
treats and, most of all,lighting the candles and saying
prayers.
But there was something specialthat happened after the dinner
(06:13):
and the candle lighting and theprayers each of the eight nights
of Hanukkah, which is thatthere were some gifts involved.
And while gift giving is notnecessarily a traditional part
of this holiday, it is one thatcertainly helps, adds to the joy
(06:33):
and the celebration and theexcitement for children.
Now, my father created atradition around the gift giving
for Hanukkah that was a littlebit unusual and a little bit
special, and what he did was hecreated a game in which every
night before we received a gift,we would actually have to find
(06:55):
our gift that was hiddensomewhere in the house, and the
way we would find it is he hadwritten on a slip of paper some
particular hint or clue, andthose clues or hints could come
from anything at all, andfrequently my father, who is a
music lover, would choose a songlyric that was supposed to
(07:18):
invoke.
Using our imagination, lead usto find where in the house our
gift may be hidden.
One song lyric that I neverforget that was used by my
father, certainly more than oneyear during my gift hunting, was
(07:38):
this song lyric that said therain in Spain falls mainly in
the plains.
You know where that's from,that's the musical my Fair Lady.
The rain in Spain falls mainlyin the plains, and so I'd have
to think about what is this songlyric trying to tell me?
And it would turn out that therain was actually a hint for me
(08:03):
to go look in the shower, and Iwould go to the bathroom and
pull open the shower curtain andthere in the shower was a small
wrapped gift, and I wouldunwrap it and I would enjoy it,
and it was a lovely, quirkylittle tradition that we had
that I've never met anotherfamily who had this same
tradition and I'm not quite evensure when or why my father made
(08:29):
it up.
But there is something importantthat I think I now understand
as an adult.
I think, looking back, thatmaking this sort of scavenger
hunt game out of our gifts overthis holiday was actually a way
of keeping the focus of ourcelebrations on our family
(08:55):
values.
So my parents were and are,very non-materialistic.
They both had very, verychallenging upbringings and
didn't have very much at all.
In fact, my father is animmigrant refugee to this
country and a survivor ofgenocide, and I don't even know
what this holiday would havelooked like if they had stayed
(09:18):
in the old country.
There's no way for me to knowthat actually at this point in
time.
But I think that I understandnow, especially as I raise my
own children and I carry on thistradition, that by placing the
emphasis of the celebration andof the gift giving on the
(09:41):
finding of the gift, he wasactually turning our focus
towards the joy being in thatactivity as a family.
So I remember hunting for thesepresents and trying to figure
out the song lyrics or the cluesand figuring out where they
were, and I almost neverremember what the gifts were,
(10:06):
and the truth is that sometimesthe gifts were quite small, like
I might have received when Iwas little, a box of crayons, or
, when I was older and an artist, a box of colored pencils or
charcoal or drawing paper orsomething reflecting my passion
(10:27):
and my loves, but notnecessarily very big or
expensive or elaborate gifts.
I think that when I look backnow as an adult and as a parent,
my parents were finding theirown unique ways of keeping the
holiday celebrations consistentwith their values.
(10:50):
I'm so grateful that theyraised me that way.
I'm so grateful that theycreated traditions for our
family that would enable us toreceive gifts and have these
special moments as a family butmost of all, find the joy and
(11:10):
the celebration in that, thosemoments of play, those moments
of engaging in that activity asa family.
When I look at my children now,I've carried on this tradition
of hiding their gifts andwriting down clues or telling
them or even singing them cluesfor them to find their gifts.
(11:34):
I see their faces of excitementwhen they know that this moment
of the evening is coming andthey go and find their gifts.
No matter how small their giftmay be, their joy in that moment
is huge every single time.
I think it's something magicalwhen we can connect with that
(12:01):
sense of anticipation andcuriosity and even wonder in the
child at this idea that there'ssomething hidden in my home.
I know it's just for me.
I don't know what it is orwhere it is.
That joy, that level ofgratification is actually enough
(12:28):
.
I think we know this as adults,but forget the anticipation and
the excitement is where the joylives.
The gift itself isinconsequential.
It's not what actually holdsthe mean value.
(12:53):
I think back to what was myfather have been thinking when
he created this tradition, and Idon't even know to what extent
he did this intentionally orwhether this playfulness was
simply something spontaneousthat came out of him.
(13:13):
But I'm so thankful to myparents for the way they raised
my brother and myself and forthese traditions that they
created, despite having hadchildhoods of a lot of pain and
a lot of difficulty.
(13:34):
I think that for me, at thismoment in my life, as their
daughter and as my children'smother, when this time of year
comes and the days are shorterand the sky is darker and the
temperatures are colder andthere are moments of reflection,
(13:57):
there are moments of loss andletting go, there are moments of
hope and possibility, there aremoments of lighting those
candles and saying those prayersand reflecting on what's really
important.
I think that my fathereffectively captured for me what
(14:17):
is most important about thisholiday.
In that simple little game thathe created for us, he taught me
that the joy in gift giving isin the moments of connection,
the moments of anticipation andsimply engaging in the process
(14:40):
together.
All the rest is not reallywhere the value lies, and so
there's never any gift that'stoo small, and there's never
anything to expect or anythingto need or require for that
sense of gratification andcontentment and peace and joy.
(15:04):
I'm so grateful to my fatherfor giving me that, and I'm
really grateful to have childrento pass that tradition on to.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Integrity Reeves is a singer band leader, music
educator and new mommy to themost precious and sweetest
little bean I have ever met.
This is her holiday memory.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
Hi, my name is Integrity Reeves and I'm going
to tell you about a fewChristmas memories.
So one of them happened.
I think it was about 1996 or1997.
It was a Christmas that I willnever forget and I think about
(15:55):
it often.
So I put some specific thingson my Christmas list that year,
as I always did.
I'm pretty detailed Christmaslist with.
You know, we didn't haveinternet at that time, the old
(16:16):
days, so it was, you know,catalog numbers, very specific
page numbers.
You know it was a lot, not alot of things necessarily, but
it was just very like.
No, it needs to be this exactthing.
And I always would wake upreally early in the morning to,
(16:40):
you know, go down and see whatChristmas brought me.
That's what my mom and grandmawould always say.
Let's go see what Christmasbrought you, where.
I'd wake them up and then theywould say that.
So it ran downstairs and, to mywonderment, everything that I
asked for specifically was rightunder the tree and my mom or
(17:04):
Santa, however, you know,whatever people liked it say
never would wrap anything.
So everything was, you know,laid out in front of the tree,
like you know, looked like toysor just a feast for the eyes and
I was just so excited and sograteful to have this.
(17:25):
Just, you know, wow, christmasreally honored my, my specific
Christmas list and I hugged mymom and I hugged my grandma and
I was just so happy and they,you know, they, they were
excited too and they, theydidn't say much, which was
surprising to me.
You know, they normally arelike so overjoyed and you know,
(17:50):
celebrating with me and you know, playing with me, playing with
the new things, they didn't saytoo much.
So I was kind of confused aboutthat, but I was just so excited
about the things I didn't Ididn't pay too much attention to
them.
So a few minutes later, my momis like hey, take, don't you?
You know, are you missinganything?
(18:12):
And I was just dancing aroundand just so excited as if
there's, there's nothing I couldhave possibly missed,
everything I've.
I've looked at you know,unboxed, and just gone to town
on she's like Taggy, hello, isthere anything you missed?
And I, just I did notunderstand like what she, what
(18:36):
she meant.
So finally she said, tag,what's under that sheet?
And I said, what sheet?
So I, I turn around and thereis a bright yellow sheet
covering something.
I don't know what it is, butit's a.
You couldn't have missed it.
(18:56):
You know, if it was a snake itwould have bit me, like it was
just blaringly loud the color.
So, you know, I was like I don'tknow.
I don't know what this is Like.
I've gotten everything that Iasked for, every detailed thing
that I put on there was rightunder the tree.
There's nothing, nothing that I, nothing more than I, asked for
(19:18):
.
So why don't you open?
You know, take a look at the,take a look under the sheet.
So I go over and I'm kind ofscared cause I'm like, you know,
was it a dog?
I don't, she didn't ask for adog, or you know, I just
couldn't figure out what it,what it could be.
So I pulled the sheet back andthere was this giant wooden
(19:42):
dollhouse with 10 rooms andfolding doors, and it was the
most beautiful thing I'd everseen.
And I hadn't asked for it, Ididn't even, you know, it was
not on my radar at all, but Ijust fell in love with it and to
(20:04):
this day it is one of my most,you know, treasured possessions.
But you know, that story, thatmemory has always stuck with me
and I use it often in momentswhere I'm overlooking something,
and I think of that Christmasmemory and how this beautiful,
(20:30):
beautiful thing that I hadn'tasked for was right in front of
me the whole time and I, youknow, only had to just pull back
the sheet so fast forward to tothis Christmas, christmas 2023,
.
I became a mommy three monthsago and it's been a journey.
(20:59):
To put it mildly, it's the mostbeautiful and joyful thing I've
experienced.
It's also one of the mostdifficult things.
I haven't really been able toput everything into words until
now, but, reflecting back on it,I had a lot of complications
(21:26):
during my pregnancy and thengiving birth itself was really
traumatic, and since then it'sjust been one thing after the
next, and for a while I wasreally starting to spiral a
(21:46):
little bit.
I felt like I was in a tailspin.
All I could see was thechallenges and the pain and the
tiredness, and not to mentionhow expensive babies are, and
(22:10):
feeling like, well, we're notgoing to have the Christmas that
I would love to have, where I'mable to give my family a lot of
gifts and I'm able to give myhusband a wonderful gift, and I
was just feeling really downabout it.
And then that memory came backto my mind about the things that
(22:39):
I had been overlooking, andthat thing for me right now is
that we made it.
I made it through, health-wise,in a situation where I could
have easily not.
And our baby is healthy andshe's a fighter.
(23:01):
She made it through some thingsthat she could have easily not
made it through.
And my family is here tosupport me and have this amazing
community of friends andfamilies that I get to be a part
of through my work, that havesupported me in ways that I
(23:27):
didn't even think was possiblefinancially, emotionally, and
all of those things were rightthere kind of the beginning.
I was just overlooking it.
I was just overlooking it andit was their biggest day, right
(23:49):
under that yellow sheet, and Ijust needed to pull back my
delusion about how things wereand how things are, and I now am
able to see just how many giftsI have not physical gifts this
(24:15):
year, but still just as tangibleand it's just been a really
great reminder to look under thesheet.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
So Up next we have something short and sweet from
award-winning musician and hostof Common Core podcast, eliza
Jane Tebow.
Speaker 5 (24:45):
My name is Eliza Tebow and I am a DC area
musician, and I would like toshare a little story from 1987
for my holiday memory.
I had just moved with my familyto Fredericksburg, virginia, and
my father had just gotten hismaster's degree in fine art and
(25:09):
was looking everywhere for a jobas an artist and was having a
lot of trouble.
And then he was just looking forany job and he found a hard
time job making door harps thatwere these beautiful pieces of
wood with chimes on them andthere was a little heart shaped
(25:32):
cut out in the center.
And you know, that year becausehe was, you know, struggling to
make an income and my mom wasdoing the best with her job we
didn't have a lot of money forChristmas and what my dad
decided to do is bring home allof those little wooden hearts
(25:54):
and paint them and put them onour tree.
So he brought them home fromwork and my sister and I and my
parents painted each heart withred paint and put a little
ribbon at the top and hung themon the tree.
And that Christmas we had a lotof red hearts on our tree and
(26:16):
we still have those today, some36 years later.
And so when I'm digging throughmy boxes of holiday decorations
and I see one of those hearts,I remember that Christmas and I
remember to be grateful for allthat you have always and, yeah,
(26:42):
that's my holiday memory.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
This next memory is from beloved.
Tell her this storyteller,Peggy, who you would have heard
in episodes seven and eight ofseason one the greatest love
story ever told.
Speaker 6 (27:02):
Merry Christmas, happy New Year everybody.
This is the most wonderful andbeautiful time of the year,
first of all because wecelebrate the birth of Jesus
Christ, our Lord and Savior.
And for me personally, Icherish this time of the year
(27:24):
also because it is the time ofyear that my husband, bobby, and
I made the best memories withfamily, with friends, neighbors
and people that we encountered.
In general, this time of theyear offers so much in the way
(27:47):
of pulling people together justto lend itself to having parties
, going shopping, purchasinggifts, all of those things.
And the giving part is the partthat is most near and dear to
me.
It's the part that I enjoy themost.
So I claim Christmas time asthe best time of the year where
(28:11):
I have my fondest memories.
Now, over the past 43, 44 years, my husband and I which was a
Tyler Woon-Mary he passed awaynine years ago now.
So the memories that we madealong the way, of the wounds
that I call them, that I recall,that I remember and I hold them
(28:33):
near and dear to my heart.
So this time of the year for meis especially the heartfelt,
simply because of the thingsthat we did all during the year.
We started in.
Really, we started aroundNovember, so we started cooking
all this food in November andthen it rose right all through
(28:55):
the new year and especially atChristmas time, because that's
when you get your heavydecorations and for me I always
say the guardian, and the morethe better.
I love those things thebeautiful Christmas music, the
food, the people, the gifts, allthose things going to making
(29:15):
Christmas time a special time ofthe year.
And little did I know, as wewere making all those beautiful,
wonderful memories from day onein our relationship, I never
considered that those were goingto be the memories that were
going to sustain me at 75 yearsof age.
But those are the memories thatto this day sustain me, that
(29:40):
helped me to get from one day tothe next.
Precious memories, y'all.
How they linger.
I treasure those memories.
Those are golden treasures thatI hold near and dear to my
heart.
It's like I gotta put them in avault, and this time of the
year especially, I open thevault and they just flow out
(30:02):
very freely.
And then, throughout the year,this time of the year comes back
to me in terms of the thingsthat we did, the shopping I can
remember.
Now that we're in the midst ofChristmas.
We're a week out from Christmas.
I can just remember all thosenights when my husband, bobby,
and I would go out shopping,freezing cold, and he'd just say
(30:26):
to me go ahead and do what youwant to do and get what you want
to get and come on, I'll justsit here waiting on you.
Sometimes he'd sit in the carall the time, if ever somewhere
to sit in the establishment orstore, somewhere he can do that
but for the most part he wouldsit in that car and listen to
jazz music and be just ascontent.
Never a crossword, never a rushme or anything like that.
(30:50):
And to this day I appreciatethat.
But the memory of that is whatis so beautiful, absolutely
gorgeous.
I mean just a beautiful time.
Even now, like I said, we are aweek out from Christmas and I
am just so excited about theholiday season and of course, I
(31:13):
miss my husband.
I miss him dearly.
I miss him 365 days a year.
I miss him every single day.
But guess what?
The memories help to fill thevoid.
So I encourage you, whoever youare, whatever kind of
relationship you have, whateverkind of relationship you're in,
(31:35):
stop and make some good memories.
If you're not already doing it.
Make some good memories, dosome memorable things, say some
memorable things.
You know saying that give me myflowers and my roses while I'm
living.
This is what my husband and Ideal with each other.
We complimented each other, weloved each other.
We did things for each other asmuch as we could without you
(31:59):
know, just consciousness andsaying, well, I'm going to do
this, this and this because oneday you're going to be gone.
We didn't do it like that.
It just came natural for us todo good stuff towards one
another Because we were thatcouple that was loving first
sight.
I met my husband in June of 1973.
(32:21):
And by 1974 of February we weremarried.
So it was a love at first sightthing for us.
So from day one we began to dothings for each other that would
make a mark on our relationshipand I think God that he allowed
(32:41):
us to do that.
We did it in the name of Jesusand I'm proud of it.
I don't mind saying it toanybody.
I know beyond the shadow that Ihad a VBS husband in the world
and I cherish those memories.
I cherish those times.
So this time of the year is myfavorite time of the year
because of a lot of reasons, andthere were a lot of things that
(33:06):
go into making memories, butthis time of the year is my time
that I believe in again.
I still, to this day, I do somethings that are reminiscent of
what I did last year and theyear before, 10 years or 15
years ago or however many years,but those things are etched
(33:27):
into my spirit and will alwaysbe what I rely on as far as
having good memories of the goodtimes in life.
You got to make those memories.
It's this work.
(33:47):
You got to work at it.
I'm telling y'all work on it,work at it, do what you have to
do to get those memories etchedinto your life in a way that
they will sustain you.
Because I'm telling you, if youdon't have those good memories
in those loved ones, you knowthe Lord takes them and they are
no longer with you.
What else do you have?
(34:09):
So I thank God today that Ihave the memories.
I thank God today that he gaveme a man in my life that loved
me and I loved him back.
We had a mutual respect andlove for each other that led
(34:32):
itself to making good memoriesand again, christmas time is
just one of those beautifultimes of the year within itself,
and having him in my life aspart of just me, it was like I
had to say graviolant potatoes,extra-graviolant potatoes.
So, again, make good memorieswith those that you love and
(34:52):
that you're close to, so thatwhen you need those memories,
they'll be there for you to graba hold of.
And, trust me, memories willtake you places that you can't
even imagine.
I can't even imagine now that Ihave to rely on my members,
what I would even do withoutthose great, precious memories.
(35:12):
Hopefully this time of the yearfor you is a good time of the
year in that you're doing yourshopping or cooking or whatever.
Feel your life with those greatmemories.
Feel your life with those greatthings.
Pray lots, do kind things forsomebody else, be kind to
yourself as well.
Just wanted to come your wayfor these few short minutes and
(35:37):
hope that you'll take some ofwhat I said and use it to create
good memories and just rememberprecious memories, how they
linger.
Merry Christmas, happy new year, love you guys.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Next up is a story from a woman who is as gracious
as she is ever-vescent ExecutiveDirector of the Mayor's Office
on Women's Policy andInitiatives here in Washington
DC, ms Natasha Dupy.
Speaker 7 (36:09):
Happy holidays.
I'm so excited to walk throughmemory lane with you.
My vision of an amazing holidaystory comes when we were in
lockdown, so pre-vaccine seasonof the COVID-19 pandemic.
I'm here in Washington DC,where the majority of my family
(36:34):
is based as well.
This holiday is very meaningful.
It is a family reunion of sortsfor my family.
We are very much known forbeing Type A, with all seasons
of gathering.
That looks like having a prayermeeting at some point within
(36:54):
that gathering, having photos,definitely lots of play, and
then platter and platter withfood To be isolated.
We had to take that with anasterisk, of course we were
going to gather.
How could we make it possiblein a virtual sense, if not
virtual and we were able togather in person, how could we
(37:17):
do so safely and also continuethose elements of our family fun
?
I'm going to experiment withfood in terms of a recipe or
cleaning out your kitchen.
How can we make something work?
That Christmas, I decided that Iwas going to experiment with
(37:39):
two dishes.
One was the main dish and itwas stuffed plantains with jerk
pork ribs.
I've only made it once and Iwould that day with pickled
onions, and it was absolutelyamazing.
The second dish that I made was.
(38:00):
It was called mocha mourningrolls.
These were baked cinnamon rollsbut they had espresso as a part
of the dish.
You definitely have the best ofboth worlds the seat, but also
the cake and the boost in thearoma of coffee.
I made these both from scratch.
(38:22):
There was not a heat and stiroption.
I think being able to spendtime preparing a dish that I
would ultimately share with manymembers of my family as an
extension of love was anopportunity for a fellowship
that I deeply cherish.
(38:44):
On that day as well, I'll callit Operation Coin Setter.
I delivered over 150 coinsetters to neighbors, families
and close friends.
I had just won my first electedcampaign here in the district
(39:07):
and I sent out my thank youcards immediately after getting
campaign contributions, which iscustom called folks who had
extended encouragementthroughout the campaign.
It was on my heart to show upin person for folks that I had
(39:27):
knocked on doors with andthought they might enjoy having
a plant for the season.
I would call or text theneighbors and say are you home?
I wish that often we buy forourselves or we see in places as
(39:55):
decorations.
I had never received the coinsetter as a gift and I don't
think many of my neighbors hadeither.
That year I was able to get somany colors of coin setters.
(40:15):
I think some of the businesseswere closed and so folks who
usually have first gifts orbuying blocks, some of the pink
or the white, yellow floweredcoin setters.
They were more available.
I stocked up on so many colors.
(40:35):
After we managed Operation CoinSetter, it was back to
connecting with my family.
That meant stopping at Granny'shouse, which is like our anchor
.
My granny always has live trees.
She had two trees up decoratedwith lights.
We came in, we being all of mycousins, so over a dozen folks.
(41:02):
Our parents came in masks.
The N95s or folks were doublemasks.
We sang Christmas carols.
I think I started us off withSilent Night and it was quickly
transitioned into a more upbeatsong, which I think was
(41:25):
indicative of the moment.
We cherished the content, thesentiment of the songs, but I
think we all needed a pop-up.
We did an upbeat rendition ofHeart, the Herald, angel Singh,
and all of these moments arecaptured on film, which I also
think is a very beautiful,telling moment of that season.
(41:48):
The goal with visiting mygrandma's house was so that we
could do our photo shoot.
It was socially distanced.
We did our caroling and weexchanged our contributions to
the meal.
So, instead of having plattersand we served each other
together, there was lots oftougher wear, aluminum foil
(42:09):
sandwich bags, with tape, as youwill of the menu that all the
family members had prepared.
We went home dispersed so thatwe could hop on Zoom with family
members who may not have beenable to come out to meet at
Granny's house, but then also toconnect with those who may be
(42:33):
out of town.
That was a super exciting one,because we played a scavenger
hunt game that I vividlyremember, cruising up the stairs
of my house and then going downto the basement to find
different items.
Usually, I think folks playthis scavenger hunt game Maybe
have baby showers.
(42:53):
We have to look in your bag tosee if you have an item but it
was quite amazing to see folksscatter across this room.
This was all recorded as well,so we can look back on it as we
cruise their houses for lip balmor spatula different items.
That were super fun.
(43:14):
I think this was also a verymemorable holiday season,
because this was the lastChristmas that we shared with my
grandfather.
On my dad's side.
He transitioned on January 6,2021.
(43:34):
Many folks remember that day foranother reason, in America and
in Washington DC, but I thinkback to how, a week and a half
prior, I got to see mygrandfather, who was a
self-proclaimed the funniestperson you'll ever meet.
I'll let him keep that title.
(43:54):
I got to see my grandfather inlaughter and what I would
believe is peace, true, enjoyingthe season.
I could see all of hisgrandchildren, his living
children.
We could fellowship in a waythat was safe.
We could record.
(44:17):
I'm really grateful for that.
Even now, prior to the pandemic, we would have in-person
gatherings.
You have to be there.
If you weren't there, you mighthave missed out.
You might only see the photo ora couple seconds that were
clicked from a post for socialmedia.
(44:38):
I cherish being able tocultivate those memories and
laugh there and run around andbeing socially distanced and
safe.
Also, being able to cherish andhave recorded memories of my
last Christmas with mygrandfather.
I think with that I'll end theplaying on my memory from the
(45:04):
2020 socially distancedChristmas experience.
I'm really grateful that I havea two-minute drive to my
sister's house and I was able todo it for the grandmothers.
You will put on makeup for thefirst time in forever and put on
an outfit, but even more soagain I have a level of
(45:28):
proximity to people that I loveand I'm checking on my neighbors
to again.
We never know what season orwhether we'll come to our
households and so mine, whetherwe can have after Christmas some
of our neighbors.
It was before and I think theholidays remind us to check in
(45:53):
and then, for those who arepresent, to love heart.
Happy holidays.
Speaker 1 (46:03):
Now I'd like to share my holiday story.
Growing up, the holidays werealways a special time.
My parents did a wonderful jobof helping to capture and grow
wonder of the season,celebrating and practices of our
Christian faith, visiting withfriends and family and all of
(46:25):
the music and joy of mycommunity.
And my mother?
Well, she literally glowedduring this time of year.
The house was beautifullydecorated, cozy, luxurious even.
She threw dinner parties andhosted families.
She served others and shared somuch warmth and care.
(46:48):
I'm not gonna lie y'all, ourhouse felt like the epicenter of
all things Christmas joy, and Iloved every minute of it.
When my parents separated duringmy senior year of high school
and my brother, mom and I movedto a new home, my mom did her
(47:08):
usual magical black woman thingshe held my brother and me in a
cocoon of stability and love ina way that I imagine must have
been incredibly difficult, asshe was navigating her own
personal transitions.
As the holiday season journey,I could sense a small feeling of
(47:29):
dread seeping over the three ofus.
What would the holidays looklike now, and could we hold all
the expectation of the season?
The decorations were just asbeautiful and we were going
through the motions of holidaycheer, but there was a lot
missing.
Our new house was lovely butheld none of the collective
(47:52):
memory of years past.
We were missing our family unitas a whole and wondering if
Christmas would ever have themagic that was so central to our
season.
Now I'm a chef, that my mom is achef and for many years had a
gorgeous, fine dining restaurant.
Family meals, especially at theholidays, were a big deal, with
(48:17):
all of the fixings, the tablewas immaculately set with
Christmas spode, chinacollections and a full course of
intricate and delicious food.
But for this year, this muchsmaller, more muted year, my mom
decided to make a simplerChristmas dinner of hamburgers
(48:40):
and mac and cheese.
My brother and I were delighted, but it was a serious departure
from our normal Christmas andfrom the usual, more formal
meals of our upbringing.
So on Christmas Day we ate ourburgers around the dining table
in our kitchen.
We smiled and laughed at howabsurd it all felt and we held
(49:05):
our individual sadness of how somuch was changing.
And after we ate, we didsomething that we'd never done
before and never done since wewent to the movies, and I don't
even remember what movie we saw,but what I do remember is that
my mother did what she hadalways done she held us together
(49:30):
, she glowed, she created awonderful and memorable
Christmas.
That Christmas, I learned thattraditions are only as
meaningful as the people weshare them with.
I saw an example of how to begentle with myself in seasons of
(49:51):
disappointment and, mostimportantly, I witnessed my
mother create beauty even in herbrokenness, and that was the
best gift.
Thank you.
(50:40):
Please share this episode with afriend and leave a rating or
review.
This episode includes music byMaya Rogers.
You can find out more aboutMaya and her latest project,
orion and the Remembering Tree,through the links in the show
notes.
Editing and Sound Design byRachelle Rice, mixing and
(51:02):
Editing by Ray Jala, and I'myour host, rachelle Rice, and
you can find me at Rachelle RiceMusic across all social
platforms.
Until next time, happy holidays, be true and be well.
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