Kareem Rahma

Ego brings in Kareem Rahma, her dad for the day as they discuss failed business ideas, the many lives that dads live, praying your kids turn out cool and funny, and Ego asks Kareem whether or not she should stop buying matcha lattes everyday.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is a Headgum podcast. Hi, I'm Aga Lodum, and
welcome to Thanks Dad. I was raised by a single
mom and didn't have oh gosh, didn't don't still don't
have a relationship with my dad. Guess what. Not gonna

(00:23):
not because I'm stubborn, not because I'm prideful, because he's dead.
He has gone ahead and passed. Can you believe he
would and did that?

Speaker 2 (00:31):
It happens now. I know.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
People believe his ass went and died. There is also
kick the bucket. Yeah, I don't even understand that expression.
If you kick the bucket, you could always put the
bucket back up, right.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
I think kicking the bucket?

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Or is it that your foot hurt so bad?

Speaker 2 (00:48):
No, I'm getting something real bad that we shouldn't talk
about it.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
That's is it racial?

Speaker 2 (00:51):
No?

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Say it?

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Then? No, it's suicide.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Is kicking the bucket suicide?

Speaker 2 (00:57):
I feel like you stand on a bucket and hang
yourself in and you kick the bucket.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
Oh my gosh, And it must have started that.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
I'm really making stuff out, you know, your stuff? I think. No,
I just I've never thought about that.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Do you play trivia? Because I feel like i'd want
to play.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Trivia with you do trivia and I don't play games.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Because why did you know that? And I never heard
you don't play.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Because I was using brain and I was like, okay,
you were like kick the bucket, and you said where
did that come from? And I imagine a guy standing
on a bucket with a rope and then kicking the bucket.
And then I was like, oh, people probably used to
use that for suicide. And now it's just about death
and job other things. Yes, now just like everyone who dies,
because that's what.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
Happens with etymology. When you talk about the history of.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
A word you're using, you're using I don't know what etymology.
That's the study of the.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
Study of words. I just the study of No, that's
that's gosh, that's probably something FUNGI mycology, mycology. See I
was gonna say fun biology, but no. Things get bastardized
over time. It's almost like telephone years past. Like my
favorite bit of etymology knowledge is that the word nice

(01:59):
was used to just gribe stupid people. So nice was
synonymous with stupid. Oh yes, foolish, simple a simpleton.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
I love simpleton. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Then I think about it though, and there's still like
threads of that in present day, where people will be like,
I want on a date with guy and he was
I don't know, he was nice.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
He was nice. Yeah, you're right, and so it's lingering.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Exactly, it's it is standing the test of time.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
Nice also means like, oh that's nice, not nice. She's nice.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
She's nice. Nice as a compliment, except for if you're
talking about how like amicable I am. I want to
be called kind as opposed to nice, because I know
the etymology of nice and I can't shake it. So
I'm like kind. Kind feels very intentional. Nice, I feel
like is simpleton and it's like, yeah, you're nice because
you kind of neither here nor there. You're just existing

(02:44):
and I guess not bothering anyone. Kind feels like a choice.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Like you you are. You are engaging in kindness. Yes,
you can't engage in nice.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
No you can't. You've never heard that you are exactly Anyway,
my dad kicked the bucket. He didn't submit suicide. He
didn't submit suicide. He didn't submit it. He's a subtle
life are like I would like to By the way,
I also want to address something I said that kicking
the bucket. I was like, the thing about that expression
is you can always pick the bucket back up, But
if it is in fact about suicide, no you can't.
You hang in.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
I think my explanation stands in that it started with
suicide and then it became colloquially about death.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Okay, I like that, and I'm gonna go with that
the authority on because but here's the thing. You're my
dad for the day, so I like it. I'm going
to honor my father in this moment. Ago dad knows.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Best exactly how my daughter should behave exactly. You get it.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
And that's how you think all women should behave too, right,
Only the.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Ones that are too smart, only the ones they are.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
Only those ones.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
On this podcast, I'm sitting down with father figures who
are old enough to be my dad? How old are you?

Speaker 2 (03:47):
I'm literally not old enough to be I think you
are if.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
You started fucking. Okay, all right, I'm twelve, I'm twelve.
I'm twelve to play. I'm twelve to play eighteen and over.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
I have a tutor.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
I'm on set and everything a tutor comes with me. Okay,
you're old enough to be my dad or the other options.
I'm sitting down men who are just dads themselves. Okay,
you're that, you're that one, correct. I think I brought
you off. See when I booked you is because I
thought you were old enough to be my dad. I
didn't even know you had a kid.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
That is not a compliment.

Speaker 1 (04:17):
I'm kidding.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
I mean it is.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
I'm twelve, though, remember are you?

Speaker 2 (04:21):
Actually?

Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yes, you're so like I look terrible for twelve.

Speaker 2 (04:25):
No, you look great for twelve, Thank you so much.
But you're also so like specific with your word choices.
You have a great vocabulary. Thank you, twelve year old.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
They're saying I can go to college next year.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Really we're gonna go?

Speaker 1 (04:36):
I don't know. I have dreams of going to Princeton
or something. Don't go to prince No, dad, do we
not have the money? You went to Princeton. I randomly
picked Princeton and you went there.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Not actually you just visited only in this fantasy.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
Okay, Okay, I guess I'll start getting I guess I'll
stop playing games and get back to being real. This
has been the real world Today's guest. Oh. I didn't
write this, but I'm gonna go with it. Today's guest,
this is the charming host of Subway Takes. Did you
put charming? I, Anita? Did you put charming?

Speaker 2 (05:05):
You definitely do. Thank you so much, Anita, You're amazing.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Anita has never used an adjective to describe anyone in
these guest intros. And what's going on?

Speaker 2 (05:17):
Am I not quite literally? Sorry?

Speaker 1 (05:19):
I don't mean to be so.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Am I not quite literally charming?

Speaker 1 (05:22):
I don't mean to be so opposed to it? And
stop in my tracks and go charming? You are charming.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
It's just I've never seen a nice compliment.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
But I actually just have went on a rant three
days ago about how I do not trust charming men,
so you might actually enjoy that. I am kind of
pausing and going charming, because when on a thirty minute
rant at dinner with a ton of people about how
charming men not into the charismatic charming run away.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
Those are good things.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Those are good things, but when in the hands of
a man, ooh, they're bad.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
Anyway, with great power comes with great responsibility.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
Okay, and that was charming, and okay. Today's asked is
the charming host again? If you want to be called charming,
that's your choice. But you know how I feel about it.
Host of subway takes, keep the meter running and the
last stop, please welcome my dad for the day. Kareem
Rama up. I like to say the guest intros imagining

(06:17):
there's a stadium of people and you're gonna come out
and appear like a stadium, not not not even a
theater or a state like we're talking stadium, and you
come running out with whatever intro music you choose. The
intro music has been chosen, queen. No, it's already been chosen.
In this case. The podcast music is the podcast music, Queen.
It's not queen. If it's not queen, unfortunately, did you

(06:38):
want us to change it for your episode?

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Desive?

Speaker 1 (06:41):
Okay? Okay, I think yes. Should I also be calling
my guests my dad for the hour? Because you're not
gonna go with me after this?

Speaker 2 (06:49):
What are we doing after this? We're not change a tire.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
I do need you to help me change a tire?
Are someone else's because I don't have one? You do
know how to change your time, You know how to
change your oil.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
No, that's advanced fatherhood, that's advanced. That's for guys that
say stuff like I got a tinker in the garage, which.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
I'm okay, you're not tinkering in the garage.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
We're busy. Okay, we are busy. I am a working father,
working class father.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
I think modern dads are divas.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
I think modern people are DeVos.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Modern then dads are included. Yeah, so you're saying you
agree with me. Yeah, most most modern dads are divas.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Most Okay, we have to zoom out of New York City. Okay,
I'm from the Midwest. Many a father are not divos there.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
I believe that they're tinkering in the garage.

Speaker 2 (07:36):
They're literally like I gotta I have friends that live
in Minnesota still and there I'm like, they're like, what
do you do this week? And I'm like, I'm not
even gonna talk about it. And they're like, cool, I
fucking installed a patio in my backyard by hand.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
Oh that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
And I'm like, oh, if that were me, I would
pay someone five thousand dollars for sure. You know what
a dad thing is an American? An American dad.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
A saying that they have is see, I'm in a
butcher it it's a hut.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
Are you even a dad.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Called once measured twice.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Cut once measured twice. What does that even mean?

Speaker 2 (08:11):
It means like, that's such a dad job.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Cut once measured twice? And where do we think that
that fucking came from?

Speaker 2 (08:17):
From a fucking tinkering man?

Speaker 1 (08:19):
But I'm like, what's the etymology there? And what's on
that colloquialism?

Speaker 2 (08:23):
It's probably like about measuring something and he's like, just
measure it twice again. Cut once measured twice. I think
I believe it.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
My mom says, penny wise pound foolish. That immediately makes sense.

Speaker 2 (08:34):
No, that literally makes what.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
No, penny wise pound foolish. It's kind of like you
get what you no, no, no, no, no, go with me.
You know she went to college in London. Okay, penny
wise pound foolish and not penny not penny wise, the
scary clown. Penny space wise pound foolish. Probably a comment
in there somewhere.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
To me, this means that pennies are smart and money
and pounds are dumb.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
No, okay, so literally, and you thought kicking the bucket
man literally kicking the bucket. I mean I guess it. Anyway,
all right, I'm stepping in ship. Penny wise pound foolish
means basically, like you get what you pay for. Like
here you were trying to save a little money on
a thing and get a discount or like do the
cheap version of the thing, but then you end up

(09:16):
losing pounds. You end up losing more. You lose more
money because you're gonna have to pay to get it fixed.
You're gonna have to pay for a second one down
the road, because like, just do it.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
Right, because don't be penny wise pound foolish. Is that
how it goes?

Speaker 1 (09:28):
Maybe I've never maybe I've never heard in a full sentence.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
That's great advice. I think that's the same as the
father advice, which is cut once. Yeah, because with the mom,
they're always buying ship. So she's like, but don't buy
a bunch of ship.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Okay, I'm being giving people saying a sexist guy, but
it was a joke.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
True, that is not true.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Heals it. We can't make for I buy.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
I mean I literally am doing.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
We can't make I was trying to trap you.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
I would rather have a guy, yes, which is this
is also homo erotic. Okay, I like this just happened.
You would rather have a guy build my ike a
wardrobe and you watch naked and Jack.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
I will not cut it out. And every episode I
spend maybe ten minutes telling Anita cut it out. And
I know she has to discern whether I'm being earnest
or not. And in general, people find it hard to
discern when I'm joking or not. Because I was.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
Anither doing she was. She was doing weird stuff.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
On the she was watching a man build a Kia cabinet.
And she in the corner was watching YouTube videos Jack
and Off. She's watching jacking off. I just stopped Anita enough. Yes, no,
I don't know. Should you keep it in? We'll have
to talk about it later. No flicking the bean? Okay,
what was your dad like? Kareem?

Speaker 2 (10:48):
My dad was like, he was, have you ever seen
the movie Big Fish?

Speaker 1 (10:52):
I haven't.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Okay, So the movies big Fish is about like this
guy who's dying. Okay, that's what this podcast is all about. Now.
It's about a dad who's dying and his son is
like listening to his dad tell his life story. And
the life story is big Fish. It's like big Fish,
Like it's like everything is exaggerated and the story is

(11:15):
really magical. When he tells it. He's like, oh, I went,
like I left my home and I walked four hundred
miles and I ended up in this forest. And it's like,
so my dad had this very larger than life persona
storytelling energy. Where like he had told me that he
invented a toothbrush with toothpaste in the handle, in the

(11:37):
handle so you could just squeeze the handle.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
But then if you squeeze handles coming out the back end, no,
it goes and it goes into the he invented it.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
Well, there's no proof.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
He doesn't even have a like prototype.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
Prototypes, but he said he invented it.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
Maybe he meant he had the idea. So that's where
the exaggeration comes in to play.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
I mean, but here's the thing. Sometimes he would say
things like that, yeah, like I invented the color almond
in appliances. Okay, like like this is a long time ago,
and like whatever the eighties. Maybe sure, you know that
everyone has a fridge in the garage that's like the
old fridge. Yes, And it's sometimes like this weird deep deep,

(12:18):
and he's like I invented that color. And then I'm
like doing some research and it's like he did work
at Whirlpool Corporation as a chemist.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
Were you googling your dad or where did.

Speaker 2 (12:28):
You go to the files? I was going through the files.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
Did he know?

Speaker 2 (12:30):
Not digital files? These are like physical paper files? Died?
I was untangling. I was like, I don't know, Are
you an only child?

Speaker 1 (12:37):
No?

Speaker 2 (12:37):
I have a brother and sister, but they're younger.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
They're younger, the oldest. And you saw the most as well.
I saw the most, right, Okay.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
I saw the lies and the exaggeration and the exaggeration
and the possible truths.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Okay, because then you did some research and you're like, okay,
that he didn't fully make this thing up. What did
he do for work?

Speaker 2 (12:54):
He was a guy who had a lot of different
hustles going.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
He was a hustler baby. He was well, not necessarily, he.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
Wasn't necessarily the greatest success story.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
He was like he really tried, yes, and he really
didn't succeed.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
Do you admire his trying?

Speaker 2 (13:17):
I think it's amazing true because he just didn't want
a job, which I completely understand because I also don't
want to go.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
I know, you sit on the subway all day, literally
my job. Anyone else that's on the subway all day.
It's like their problem and they're degenerate. But carebe. You
sit on the subway all day, you wear a suit,
and it's different. So do you see your dad in you?

Speaker 2 (13:37):
Oh? For sure. I mean the thing that people don't
understand is that subway takes is successful, but it's cliche.
But there are literally fifteen hundred other failed ideas of yours. Yes,
what are three? She wears your tea?

Speaker 1 (13:53):
What is that?

Speaker 2 (13:53):
It's a website that I built where you could book
a New York fashion model to wear your T shirt
that had your brand on it. Okay, and then she
would like post about it on the internet. Okay, today
I'm wearing fucking begoo.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Okay, it's okay, Okay, gotcha?

Speaker 2 (14:10):
Okay, okay, So that unfailed?

Speaker 1 (14:12):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (14:14):
Inbox Cupid?

Speaker 1 (14:15):
Inbox Cupid go off? What's that upon? Okay?

Speaker 2 (14:18):
For dating? So rather than getting a coupon in your
inbox every day, you get a man I'm.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Not mad at why did that fail? Why did that fail?

Speaker 2 (14:27):
What I mean it's really a not well thought out
idea because I got like twenty thousand sign ups or
something and they were all women. No, it was both,
but it was like do you really want like as
as you like if you signed up? Yeah, there was
no there was no like algorithm. It would just be like, okay, cool,
you are straight and you want to be sent out
to many. It was like any No, it was just

(14:48):
like you go in ten thousand men's inbox.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
Yeah, okay, there's no like.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
There's no preference there, just like it's just like that's it.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
Whoopee doesn't want a man in her house and I
don't want to be in a man's in like a
random man's inbox. That's yeah. I feel that I see
why that failed. Respectfully, Dad, of course I admire you
and your hustle. Another failed venture. By the way, I
just need to acknowledge I said that I assumed it
was all women who signed up, because every time there's
a matchmaking service, the numbers for like cis hetero women,

(15:19):
the scales they're very imbalanced. There's always like a ton
of women who've signed up for the service and there
are ten straight men to choose from, and that's it
every time. Because I bet you if we found out
what matchmaking services numbers actually look like, we would discover
a gigantic disparity.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
But anyway, that's why I save for the club. What
do you mean mine can't get in the club?

Speaker 1 (15:39):
Oh, because the doorman is like, no, this is But
then we get in and they say like, because if
it's too many men in the club, they call him
in a sausage fest. But what do they say when
it's a it's a pussy fest in the club because
everyone thinks it's fine, that's no. But then we get
in there. The straight women were like, I don't want
to see all these bigs. I know the doorman. I

(16:01):
don't understand that game.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
It's also very very patriarchal patriarch What is the word.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
The analogy of that word is patriarchal, patriarchal.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
It's patriarchal, patriarchal patriarch.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
By the way, I just want you to know your
el huh. What's your first language?

Speaker 2 (16:18):
Arabic?

Speaker 1 (16:19):
Really fluently? Still you don't even speak it fluently?

Speaker 2 (16:23):
Do speak it brokenly?

Speaker 1 (16:24):
You don't think you could? Now?

Speaker 2 (16:26):
I am asl Arabic is a second language.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
Oh okay, wow yeah, interesting also has to do with
my parents. Okay, I want to hear more. Okay, but
tell me one more failed business idea.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Let's think about this one, because I had a moderate
success when I started something called the Museum of Pizza, okay,
which was a literal museum dedicated to pizza. This is
in the physical world. It's a real place, okay. And
I opened it and sixty thousand people came. Yeah, but
it was a complete disaster behind the scenes in what
way I mean, well, a I made a zero I

(16:59):
actually lost a lot of money. Not a good idea,
and it was just it was literally it was like
bandage together in this way that like so like I
had promised every person that comes to the museum with
pizza a slice of pizza, not thinking that like that
requires sixty thousand slices of pizza.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
Oh gosh, were you guys cutting pizzas into like little
slithers of what do you mean?

Speaker 2 (17:26):
The problem was that that, like, if you want to
put a restaurant in a museum which only exists for
six weeks, you have to get food license and all
this suff So I came up with a plan. This
is like two days before the thing is going to open,
and I go, oh shit, I forgot about the pizza
I hired. You forgot about the pizza. I hired some
guys from Craigslist, six of them or eight, and I said,

(17:48):
like help, wanted need drivers, And then I rented some
cars from Hurts Yes. And then I called Williams of
Pizza and I said, I need you to close down
one of your stores and make pizzas for me, and
I'll pay for them, and I'm going to have my
drivers come pick them up and bring them to the
museum where I'm going to shuttle them through the back
door and then where they will be served to the

(18:09):
people that come to the museum. And I did that
for six weeks and I no one knew, so.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
It was going smoothly to the consumer.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
For the consumer, it was good.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
I mean to the consumer it was fine.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (18:23):
Think it was like a two and a half out
of okay on yelp, Yeah, okay, it wasn't like a
smashing success you okay?

Speaker 1 (18:30):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (18:31):
I was. I was like, I did it?

Speaker 1 (18:32):
Were you thinking long term?

Speaker 2 (18:34):
Of course not?

Speaker 1 (18:50):
Was your dad a person who thought long term?

Speaker 2 (18:51):
Of course not? No.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
It was just like, I have this idea, what were
your dad's parents? Do you know?

Speaker 2 (18:57):
No? I never met my grandfather because he passed away
before I was born. And then my grandmother. She was
like the nicest, wietest, most wonderful person in the world.
We used to call her Hagga, which means that she
had gone to haj. So she was very religious, just
like and she was like an angelic. She looked like
mother Teresa.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
And she was like this little old lady that was
just like you know. And she lived in Cairo, where
I'm from and where I was born and where my
dad's from. So like I didn't get to know her
that well, but she was like a like she was normal, yeah,
in a great way.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
And then do you think she thought her son was
Kookie your dad?

Speaker 2 (19:35):
I think she was very proud of him. But I
think yeah, because he's like moved to America in nineteen
sixty nine, pre the internet, Like, oh, this is a
funny story. Like he told his family he was moving
to America and they all go, haha, sure you are.
And they didn't believe him. They thought he like went
to Alexandria to like the ocean, to the Mediterranean seats

(19:56):
for like vacation, to fuck off for a couple of months. Yeah,
And it wasn't until he wrote a letter from America,
being like, I'm literally in America, guys that they were like,
holy shit, he actually did it. He did it, He
really went actually made it. He was also a stuntman
whoa in these days in Egypt. He was like in
a couple like he was in a bunch of movies.

Speaker 1 (20:13):
That's verified.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
You know that, that's verified. I've seen photos and I've
seen one clip of the movie.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
Did you trust your dad, by the way, because given
that you're like, some of these things were true, some
were not. He exaggerated a lot. Did you trust him?

Speaker 2 (20:26):
I trusted him, but I did not agree with him.
Say more, please, So I trusted that he was like that,
that he had our best interests in mind, but I
did not agree with a lot of his methodology.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
Okay, did you guys butt heads? Then a lot did?

Speaker 2 (20:45):
We were not necessarily friends. Okay, from a very we
were OPSA When did your father.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
Pass My father passed away summer. Actually don't know exactly when.

Speaker 2 (20:59):
So you never met him.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
I had met him. I did visitation as a kid
and everything, but I just didn't have a relationship with him.
I think the last time I did visitation, I was
four years old, and then I hadn't seen him since then,
but I know his whole side of the family, my
cousins and I.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
I have to do something Dad right now.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
Okay, go Dad. He's about to do something Dad. Coaster
coaster King. He's using a coaster and he's like, I
had to get the coaster that's very dead on the
not on the fresh wood, which is probably just plastic.
And now that I'm kicking the table, I'm like, I
respect that though. Okay, no, but I didn't have a
relationship with him whatsoever. But you and your dad butt heads.

(21:35):
You were not friends more like ops, did that upset
you as a kid? Did you want it to be different?

Speaker 2 (21:41):
With him? It was this thing where he like, I
think it's an Arab culture thing, and I think it's
that time, like the eldest son mm hmm. Like I
remember he's like like I would play video games. I
was like ten, and he'd be like enough with the
video games, like you're not a kid, and I'm like,
I'm literally a kid, dude, dude, I'm literally kid. I'm

(22:01):
literally a kid. And he would be like like these
games are for kids, and I'm like, man, like, do
you not see who I'm literally dead. Yeah, and so
that's like where it started, you know, and like for
so long before that, it would be like We're going
to Minards, which is like home depot, and I would
just like be walking behind him, like you. I was
like his little like assistant, okay, but not his friend.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
Not his friend.

Speaker 2 (22:24):
And then as I grew older, I became his like
his employee.

Speaker 1 (22:29):
Really, how long ago did your dad pass.

Speaker 2 (22:31):
In two thousand and seven?

Speaker 1 (22:33):
Yeah, I was in college, and so you became his employee.
When did it shift from employee to what it was
at the end of his life?

Speaker 2 (22:40):
It never shifted when.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
He died, you were still his employee.

Speaker 2 (22:43):
We made a deal. So once I made it to college, Yes,
we had a literal hand like we had a business
agreement that it was like I was written. This is
like it was a handshake. It wasn't written, but it
was an oral.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
Or that stands that stands in a court of law.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
Does it does?

Speaker 1 (23:02):
I had witnesses.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
I remember I had my family. I did a call
the family meeting. You called the family I called the
family meeting. Wow, witnesses, mother, maybe brother, and sister, I
don't remember, but I definitely called the.

Speaker 1 (23:11):
Family meeting because you're like, I want something.

Speaker 2 (23:13):
I said, once I make it to college, this guy
can't tell me what to do anymore.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
And he said, you make it to college, I will
agree with agree to that.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
How old were you when you called that family meeting?

Speaker 2 (23:29):
It was probably sixteen, and I went to college at eighteen.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
Yes, did he go to college.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
He went to college in Egypt, and an.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
Education was obviously something that.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
Was There was no question, of course, there was like,
you're going to college.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
Did he care what you studied?

Speaker 2 (23:42):
No?

Speaker 1 (23:43):
Oh really no, I neither did I really did you study?

Speaker 2 (23:47):
I went to college to So I went to the
University of Minnesota, which was about twenty minutes away from
my house, and I chose it because I was too
lazy to go tour colleges. I was not like that
motivated by education.

Speaker 1 (24:03):
Do you think he was worried that you were not
going to make anything of yourself because you played video
games at ten and because you weren't motivated by education
when you were teer.

Speaker 2 (24:12):
I think he was just a worried guy. And he
was also a control freak.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
Okay. Do you think he suffered from anxiety like clinical anxiety?

Speaker 2 (24:19):
I think he suffered from other things, but I don't
think it was anxiety.

Speaker 1 (24:21):
What other things, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
Maybe some sort of like delusional thing, but not not
in like a like an evil way. But I think he,
you know, was like a weirdly delusional sometimes. Yeah, maybe
like a little OCD. Right, okay, But you know, it's
like he was a good guy. Like he didn't do
anything bad, right, We just didn't agreed, and I think

(24:43):
he did. Like nowadays, I'm like, I actually like kind
of appreciate the kind of work ethic he instilled in me.
You know, at the time, it was miserable. Like I
remember one summer I planned it, Like he decided to
put hedges in our lawn and build like a fence
made out of trees around the cool fucking perimeter of

(25:04):
our yard. It's really beautiful. And guess what I went
and I saw that's my childhood home. And the hedges
are they're twelve feet.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
And it's stunning. And when the real estate agent is
showing it to whoever in the year twenty nineteen, it's like,
this beautiful home with gorgeous hedges, and you're like, my
dad planted those, No, no, no, I planted them. But Okay,
you planted.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
Them, because that's what I mean.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
You were an assistant.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
No, yeah, he was like, this is your job. Oh
my god, dig these holes.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
Oh my goodness, put these trees in the Sorry I
didn't realize.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
And at the time they were known better.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
You were literally his assistant.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
It was his employee.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
Okay, well, yes, an assistant isn't employee.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
But the hard work paid off because because I they
were like two and three feet tall, and I was like,
this doesn't this is not a fence, dude.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
I was like, there's gaps between every single tree and
they're short. Everyone can see you. Yeah, put up a
fucking fence. Yeah, that's what I was like. He was like,
he's like, no, I'm doing the trees. And I kid
you not. There was probably forty or fifty of them.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
They're still there and they're stunning. It's stunning. Now.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yes, I dug every hole and put a tree in
every hole. It took so low that and he would manage, right,
but you know, he would just stand there and be like,
dig it deeper. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
That project manager who's just like, I am an engineer,
but I'm not actually doing the work.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
I'm watching.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
Wow, did you ever have like an allowance or anything
like that from him.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
I had an allowance, but he he we didn't have
a lot of money, so the allowance was was not
enough for a for a man of my taste.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
Okay, okay, you like.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
But here's the thing. We were going to Burlington coll Factory,
and the other kids they were going to fucking like
like you know, like the Macy's right, right, and there's
a big difference.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
Difference was Hex around for you guys. Don't department store,
no woolworth No.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
Where the hell did you grow up Maryland? You're like,
I grew up in fucking London. By that sounds like
a villain from Wi w I think it's literally the
guy's name in Willy Wonka. It might be.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
But Woolworths and Hex these were his apartment stores.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
Okay, I saw what does Dodie? What does Dody own?

Speaker 1 (27:13):
Who's Dody?

Speaker 2 (27:13):
This is Diana's husband or no boyfriend? Lover?

Speaker 1 (27:16):
I was gonna say Dody. I was like, I thought
the princess, the prince's name was Charles or something. The
hot charming, hotarmingy charming again, I'm dangerous.

Speaker 2 (27:27):
The very dangerous. Look how it ended up but whatever.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
Store he owned, that's where the people everyone else was shopping.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
No, that's in England.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
That's in England.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
They were shopping at Macy's. They were shopping. I was
shopping at Burlington coll Factory.

Speaker 1 (27:40):
Okay, I need to cut the part out where I'm confused.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
The kids at school were shopping at Macy's.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
Every part where I'm confused, Cut it out.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
And it is too busy, everything.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
Where I look bad and my listening comprehension is in question,
cut it out. Okay. Anyway, so keep going Macy's. They're
shopping at Macy's. You were broke, you wanted to shop at.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Macy So, I said, Dad, I'm getting a job.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
I was fortunate you would sit him down. It seems
like you.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
Would have business meetings.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
Did he call them business meetings or that what you
would call them.

Speaker 2 (28:09):
I would knock on his door in his fake office
that he worked out of.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
Doing office was fake too.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
One day, yeah, the office was that. I mean one
day there was just a room in our garage with
a computer and the fridge and no, no, the fridge
fridge was moved into the garage, but the room, like
he put up a walk two walls and like made
a room.

Speaker 1 (28:31):
They do that in New York City though, too, and
say it's that this is a three bedroom apartment, but
it's really it was one of those okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
And there was a computer in it, and he's like,
this is my office and I don't even what do
you do for a living? What do you need a
computer for? You would never say that, No, I think
I was like, this is sick.

Speaker 1 (28:46):
Were you ever scared of him?

Speaker 2 (28:48):
Of course?

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Did you get spanked as a kid.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
No, he wasn't. He wasn't physical, but he was so scary.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
Yeah. He was big, yeah, and a cloud okay stern, yes,
very stern? Was he super religiou is? Did he drink?
He smoked in front of you while you're planting trees
a lot of Did he pass that on to you?

Speaker 2 (29:06):
I smoked and then he died from one cancer?

Speaker 1 (29:09):
And do you still smoke?

Speaker 2 (29:11):
I'm addicted to naked.

Speaker 1 (29:13):
And that's okay, true loss, Yeah, I just.

Speaker 2 (29:15):
Do him orally or n I think smoking is disgusting
for everyone who's listening.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
Okay, that's a subway take, by the way.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
I think it's I think it makes you look yeah, poor.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, what.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Cut that keep it in keeping it.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
We need to we need to even the playing field here. No,
it's okay, it's okay. That's why we love subway takes.
So what else did he instill in you that that
sticks with you? Work ethic? It seems like his entrepreneurial
spirit smoking?

Speaker 2 (29:47):
What else?

Speaker 1 (29:48):
What else?

Speaker 2 (29:49):
I do think that I'm if you know me well enough,
and I'm I'm holding court at the dinner table and
you're my close friend. You're like, this story is ten
percent exaggerated.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
Yes, Nigerians are exaggerators too. If I'm allowed to say,
it's is it fire? I'm like a service, it's entertainment.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Yes, do you want to go to dinner with a
boring guy? Or do you want to go to a
dinner with a guy who like? Did Molly with Elon Musk?

Speaker 1 (30:16):
And you're literally lying you've never met Elon Musk? No,
I to God, I have my right Shoulder'm like, you
have met him, You've met him, But would he remember you? Okay?
Did you do Molly with.

Speaker 2 (30:29):
What you considered Molly?

Speaker 1 (30:30):
Okay, okay, he I tell the story of a planet
you were doing and Elon Musk was on the planet.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
Let's just say that at one point we were at
the same party and at one point I was offered molly. Okay,
And at one point I did Molly with Elon Musk.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
Meaning and he was there at the party.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
I don't know, it depends on Friday. He's a dinner.
Who's a dinner? Is it you?

Speaker 1 (30:57):
It's Grimes. Grimes is there can confirm deny that Elon
was there. He's a dinner. She's at the dinner with you?

Speaker 2 (31:04):
Yeah, I did.

Speaker 1 (31:06):
And you're going to stick to the story, almost stick
to the story.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
And if she said, oh my.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
Gosh, current dad. Okay, so someone is sitting at dinner
with you, you're telling this is exaggerators where they're like,
that's his dad there, he is being his dad.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Yeah, don't. Don't you want people to like you?

Speaker 1 (31:24):
I do? But you so your dad was really likable?

Speaker 2 (31:26):
Yeah he was really Yeah, I'm not actually kid.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
He was handsome.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
I'm not kidding. He was handsome.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
Did he work out?

Speaker 2 (31:34):
He? I can show you some pictures where you will
probably both be flicking the bean in the studio.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
Everyone's going to be flicking the bean while someone builds
a cabinet in the corner. Okay, but no, you're a dad.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
How old is your kid?

Speaker 2 (31:48):
She's six months old?

Speaker 1 (31:49):
Six months old?

Speaker 2 (31:50):
I'm a girl dad.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Hashtag girl dad, hashtag girl? Do we like? No, you
have you have a six month old and then you
have me?

Speaker 2 (31:56):
Oh yeah, I forgot about you.

Speaker 1 (31:59):
Oh dad behavior.

Speaker 2 (32:01):
We need to have a meeting about this.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
Okay, Yes, you're gonna have call a meeting with me.
I'm calling a meeting with you. That's why I brought you. So.
Now that you're a dad, what are some things you
learned from your dad that you would like to instill
in your daughter? Do you want her to exaggerate?

Speaker 2 (32:15):
I wouldn't mind it when she starts talking proud. I mean,
I already know she's gonna exaggerate. Kids talk and they
say stupid shit all the time, and I'm like, yeah, totally,
that definitely happened to you. She's gonna be like, I
was walking home and this, and I flew back home.
How'd you get I flew on a bird's wings And
I'll go, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
You're not gonna go that didn't really happen.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
Sweet.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
Do you want your kid to believe in like the
tooth fairy?

Speaker 2 (32:39):
Yeah? Until somebody I'm not gonna squash those dreams.

Speaker 1 (32:41):
You're not going to No, I.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
Think I think that like one thing that I will
say that, like okay, so like I am trying to
take all of the great stuff that my father put
in me and I'm trying to put a Kareem filter
on it, which I would say is like healthy and
self aware of my actions, which I don't know if
he was so self aware of his actions, Like I

(33:05):
don't know if he knew that he was damaging or
if he was just didn't give a shit. But he
wasn't a bad like I said, He's not a bad guy.
Who's a different time. It's like and I'm also not
giving excuses. It's just like he grew up in Egypt.
He moved to America nineteen sixty nine by himself. It
was just a different upbringing.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
You speak about it with such grace now and empathy.
You didn't always have that, right.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
No, I was like he's I didn't like him, Like
we didn't like it. We actually didn't like each other.
I mean, he probably my mom. God bless her, she's
not dead. I'm just saying God bless.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Her, and she's alive.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
You can still.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Bless someone, our mom, my grandmother. You're yes, you're my grandmother,
You're not my brother and my dad. I need you
to know that.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
Sometimes I've been watching too much porn hub. Oh lord,
cut that, keep that in. I want all the porn
hub heads hit me up.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
I don't want no, they can listen whatever. We need
the listeners.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
Okay what Yeah, my mom, she would tell me to
this day that he was like that because he actually,
like loved me so much that he was he was worried.
He was really worried that something bad was going to happen.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
So that's why he was so hard on you.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
That's why he was in control freak. That's why he's
so hard. That's why he was trying to, like, for
lack of better words, control me. And at the time,
I'm like, you can't control me.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
Look at his hair. You can't control him.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
Yeah, you can't. I'm unmanageable. Yeah, I'm like Kanye, I'm on.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
Your curls are so beautiful. I can't say my eyes
like my dad's curls. No, cut that out for real, No, No,
keep it in. I do want to cut that out.

Speaker 2 (34:42):
Cut it.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
Put it in every shap you want to cut that out.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
Holy ship. Have you ever told any of your previous
guests that they're darming?

Speaker 1 (34:48):
No? I don't know why that was in there.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
Have you ever complimented Have you ever complimented your previous
guests hair?

Speaker 1 (34:53):
No, I haven't. I just think you're a really good dad.
But no, a good dad. What if I'm like, my.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
Dad is fucking I just said, I literally say that
about it. I'm not even gay.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
You don't have to be gay to think of look
at me doing palsy to do the math? Okay, No,
So you would be proud if your daughter exaggerated because
you also think that it means she's likable. That's that's
You're like, she's likable, And I don't want to crush
your chi. That's beautiful.

Speaker 2 (35:19):
Like, do you want a boring person on your podcast? Kid?

Speaker 1 (35:21):
Was it?

Speaker 2 (35:22):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (35:24):
No? Okay, also cut this out. I'm sorry this is
a terrible episode. Okay, it's not terrible because of you,
because I'm shipting the bed.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
Okay, So no one's going to know what to cut out.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
By the way, I know, because I've said everything out.
There's nothing we call you and say. No, I was
going somewhere with this that I was heading somewhere. Was
it comforting to hear from your mom that your dad
was the way he was toward you because he loved
you so much?

Speaker 2 (35:54):
One?

Speaker 1 (35:54):
Was it comforting? Two? Did you buy it? And maybe
I should reverse those questions both?

Speaker 2 (35:58):
Yes? Okay, Yeah, I do believe it at this point.
I do believe it, Like because like I say, I'm like,
he didn't have He wasn't bad, you know what I mean.
He was good. He was a good guy. He took it.
We always had food, We were always safe. He was
a weird guy, though, like like to prove to me
how we lived in the suburbs. Like he would be like,

(36:19):
let's go get White Castle at one in the morning,
but in the ghetto.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
And be like, let me just show you.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
Yeah, and he'd be like, see, I the most important
thing is you guys that we live in a nice
neighborhood and in a nice house, because we could be
living here.

Speaker 1 (36:35):
What are you thinking.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
I'm literally fifteen, and I'm like, I'm tired. There's school tomorrow,
not on a school night. Yeah. No, he was reckless.
Oh wow, I think he was just weird. He just
kind of did what he wanted like I would come home.
I think, you know, like, let's call it seventeen sixteen,
had a little bit to drink out with my friends,

(36:57):
and I don't say homies.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (36:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Sometimes when you're on as a mic, you're like, I'm
not this person.

Speaker 2 (37:02):
I like close that U. Yes, I cut it out.
I almost. And you know when people I'm on like
a call or something and somebody's like, my homies, I'm like,
you are not seventeen?

Speaker 1 (37:12):
Yes, why are you talking?

Speaker 2 (37:13):
Maybe that's why I'm talking like this though, because like
I'm back in my seventeen.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
Year old No, but you're my dad now stop.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
But back then I did.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
Okay, you did have homies seventeen okay. So he'd be like, okay,
go ahead, be a little.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
Little drunk and come home. And I'd be like, oh, okay, great,
and I walk in. My dad would just be sitting
in the living room like doing nothing.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Yeah, and he'd be a little he was he waiting
for you to come home TBD.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
But then he'd be like, yeah, I think he was.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
Because we ever d because he's dead, because we'll never TV.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
Will never D TBA to be announced in the next episode.
I think we're gonna talk to the day my dad
and yours. Well, that's actually a nice way to build.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
To try to talk to dead people.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
Yeah, I should. I'm The second episode of this pod
is that we do a thing.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
I'm not into spirits. I'll do it, no, but you
can do it in your own space.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
No, you're not going to do it on this just
for myself intellectual property.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
I don't want spirits coming near me and to my home.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
I don't want to. Don't get me started on spirits.
There is a lot of them.

Speaker 1 (38:16):
There are a lot of them. But I believe in
the spirits and I don't want them attached to you.
I can sense as much you've been haunted. I want
to ask more about that. But I want to know
about your dad.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
Okay, So I would come to.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
We'll do a Sands episode and Kareem's home in his
own studio, because you don't want the spirits.

Speaker 2 (38:35):
In the third party neutral locations.

Speaker 1 (38:37):
It can't be. I don't want to be there.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
I've haunted already.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
Do it what we were Okay, I'll do it in
the studios.

Speaker 2 (38:45):
Don't do it, okay, So so, so I would come
home a little tipsy and i'd be like, I'm going
to go. I can't wait to go into my bedroom,
eat a huge bowl of cereal and watch a movie.
And he would be up and he'd be like hey,
and I'd be like, what's up. And he'd be like,
let's go to Taco Bell and I'm like, you should
not be awake and yeah, but he's like he didn't

(39:07):
know I drank. So then I would be like, I
have to drive this guy. I'm hammered. Oh no, this
guy's also hammered. Oh no, but he's not gonna know.
I'm hammered because he's hammered.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
Drunk driving it driving is bad, Dad saying you don't
want me driving? No, okay, Dad.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
My dad didn't know I was drunk because I didn't
tell him.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
Oh that's spooky that now talk about spirits, spook. I
was off the spirits.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
I was off the sauce. You were actually off the
spirit both off the spirits.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
Spirits? Were you drinking?

Speaker 2 (39:37):
Oh? Like bad stuff like fuckings and like schnapps? I
was going to call schlock.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
I didn't drink much in my early to and the
first time I saw schnapps on him and I was
like schnaps and someone's like, girl, no, and I go,
I don't know. I don't drink. I do drink down anyway,
Thank you so much, you drink. I'm sorry, twelve, I know,
I know, but I love twelve. I'm aging really for twelve.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
And so you'll get great. If you want to continue
to look great, you'll stop putting poisons.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
Literal poison. But we're not here to tell you what
to do and how to live your life. But do
not drive drunk. I agree, yes, okay your dad? Now?

Speaker 2 (40:13):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (40:14):
What do you care about most as a parent in
terms of how your daughter turns out?

Speaker 2 (40:18):
I mean I want her to feel independent but also really.

Speaker 1 (40:22):
Secure, independent but also really secure secure, like in terms
of self esteem or like financially, no, like like.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
Self esteem, Like I want her to know that she
is like safe to say what she wants and try
what she wants and talk about what she wants and
all of those like like to just not be afraid
of poppa.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
Do you not want her to be afraid of you
because you were afraid of your dad and you're like
that sucked.

Speaker 2 (40:48):
I haven't psychoanalyzed myself enough, okay, but probably okay, but
probably not maybe I don't know. You don't know, but
I haven't thought about it enough. Sure, Like I'm just
I'm just trying to feel.

Speaker 1 (40:57):
Winging it as a dad?

Speaker 2 (40:59):
Am I winging it else?

Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah? Because when I met you, when you told me
you had a child, you were like the first few
months of having a kid, I was a little like
what I do, because you didn't necessarily feel connected to
her the first few months.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
I think it's important to talk. I want to talk
about because I felt as like, I know a lot
of other dads and everyone's like, I love you know,
I love my kids so much like blah blah blah,
like you know what normal people say. Right, And when
my kid was born, sorry, kid, I was like, all right,
I have a kid, and I kind of was just
like okay, like and I was like looking at her

(41:33):
and I was kind of like, didn't feel a lot. Yeah,
And I've since learned that that is actually pretty common
for men.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
No one, I've never heard anyone talk about it before.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
You said, a lot of people talk, but it is
you have to seek out the information. But I do
think it's common for men to not have established this
like emotional and physical relationship with a baby because it's
being carried by the mother, which the mother is literally
has a human being inside of her talking to her.
You know, my wife Karina was talking to the kid
and like reading it books and and it's just like

(42:06):
a different thing, like they've already known each other for
nine months. And then she comes out and literally my
first thought was what's wrong with her head?

Speaker 1 (42:15):
Really? It was like she's beautiful or I'm a dad.
Now did you tap the doctor on the shoulder and
said he that thing's.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
Head is so point though you'll find this interesting. She
looks like my dad. That freaked me out. I almost
got dizzy, Not emotional, but dizzy. I mean, I guess
I was like, why is my dad here?

Speaker 1 (42:33):
Really?

Speaker 2 (42:34):
Yeah, she looked just like my dad.

Speaker 1 (42:35):
It was your dad have a pointy head? No, I'm sorry,
I just because you said he his face, because you
said he was so handsome. I was like, but the
pointy head. You lose me.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
There she the head goes away. Of course, of course
I thought it was an emergency you did. I was like,
we are going to need to put like a rounding
device on this thing.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
How did you prepare for fatherhood?

Speaker 2 (42:57):
I mean, I was really a present part nerve for
my wife, and I just like I was just like,
this is the person that I need to just like
attach myself to, and anything that she needs or wants
or expresses, I'm going to receive it and like put
it into me, you know what I mean? Because I
think that like a lot of what I want to

(43:19):
do and a lot of what I am doing is
going with my gut. And I actually have been, you know,
been told that I'm doing a good job.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
Who tells you that my wife.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
And even her mom has stayed with us for two
months and my mom yeah, and they're like, I wouldn't
say they're surprised. They're like, you know, you're doing a
great job. And none of them are like where'd you
learn it? But it is my gut because I'm not
on fucking Reddit being like how to whatever. So I'm
going with my gut because I think. And the other

(43:48):
thing is I think, like you know, some people, like
some people are like, oh, I've changed so much, like
ever since I had a kid. I'm just like so
respectful now and like I see the world through a
woman's eyes and blah blah blah. I'm like, you're just
saying that you were a piece of shit for a
long time, like you were literally a piece of shit.

Speaker 1 (44:07):
Yeah, now you're not oh I'm hearing is you want
me to compliment you? And I'm like, no, I hear
you're a piece.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
Of sh I'm literally like you're just a piece of shit.
And so like this, this transformation never happened to me,
Like I feel like I was already had a dad vibe.
I feel like a lot of my like what are
the words, like values are already like I feel like
a good guy. Yeah, And so I didn't feel like
a transformation. It was just like, Okay, cool, I wake

(44:35):
up and now I'm a father and I have a
big responsibility. But it doesn't feel like I'm so transformed.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
Right.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
But I will say from the time that we talked,
which was maybe three months ago, I.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
Don't even know if it was up to three months, scream,
I feel like it was me going it wasn't three,
it was two. I'm sorry, but here you are exaggerating
a shin.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
Okay, So she started like this is what I'll say.
The first three months, She's a potato, just like I
have a potato in my house.

Speaker 1 (45:01):
Okay, she still doesn't give a shit about me. I'm
still useless, and do you give a shit about her?
Besides being like I want to protect the potato, protect
the potato. Sure, like that's it. I'm not like connected
to them to protect the potatoes mother, and okay, great guys,
and like missus potato.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
For missus potato, any anything. It's it almost felt like
like Caveman days, where I'm like what can I do?
I'm literally because I can't do anything. Yeah, the baby's breastfeeding, yeah,
and like that's all it needs is like food.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
Yeah. Would you wake up when your wife would bastfeed
in the middle of the night, because she's a very
nice person, okay, and you'd be like just.

Speaker 2 (45:33):
No, she wouldn't even try. She would just be like
what's the point. She would a bed, just like what's
the point? I can't do anything? Yeah, And I would
offer and she's like just why yeah, okay, I don't
need that. But she would be like I need blueberries,
and I'd be like cool, boom, go get blueberry. Like
I was.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
Eager to do whatever whatever you could.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
She wanted, And it felt like I was like hunter
gatherer because there's all this stuff like I remember being like,
really I was sleep deprived, like you know, regardless, and
like being at Target the first time in the diaper
aisle and being like this is so weird. Like I'm
in the diaper, I'm like looking at clothes. I remember
buying the clothes because she needed more onesies, and I'm like,

(46:11):
this is so like that was a moment that felt
really weird. Like I was like, I'm a dad, like
because you see dads doing that, but then I'm not,
I'm him.

Speaker 1 (46:22):
Now I'm doing that. My life has changed exactly what
I like.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
You know, it was so weird, but I was gonna
say I will say that like once she started smiling,
which is that three months game over won me over
so obsessed, you know what I mean, So like because
she recognized me, and then I'm like, oh, they're like
dad is so the feeling came. It just took a

(46:46):
little bit of time.

Speaker 1 (46:47):
And you're saying it's normal.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
I think it's normal. I mean I think people talk
about it, like like I think people don't talk about
it a lot because everybody wants to be like everybody wants.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
To be nice, which is yeah, and we want kindness.
That's the thing.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
Nice is it's a more interesting story at if you're
like how was it with your I mean I'm sure
When you were like how is it, and I was like, honestly,
I'm not sure. This kid's weird, Like it's kind of weird.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
I appreciate transparency and honesty and authenticity, so at my response,
I actually was like, oh, that's interesting. I have a
podcast and I want you to come on because I
haven't heard that. But it makes sense though when you
said it, I was like, oh, that would make sense
because I had this bit I wanted to work on
a while ago. But I was like, I can't tell
if it's too dark where I was like, it's in

(47:34):
my phone where I'm like, people want to introduce you
to their babies and I'm supposed to immediately love the baby,
but I'm like, I don't know you. Is that terrible?
I'm like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
This baby, tw you No, It's true, like yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:45):
And then I was like is it fun? Is it funny?
Because then I talked to people and I was like,
I really want my niece to feel connected to me.
So I have a three year old niece and an
eleven month old niece. You have that I do. I
have that and I'm twelve.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
That's crazy, but I have my brother's so big.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
I note dad, dad, other family, other family, dads know
about other families. You am all right, okay? And I
really I was like, I want them to feel connected
to me, and someone who's like, oh, they're not gonna
even register anything truly meaningful until she's like eighteen months
or something like that in terms of being like that's
on tiego. But I'm like, yeah, I hold the baby.

(48:22):
I get so excited that my brother has a baby.
They're so precious. I take a million pictures of them.
I feel connected because they're my blood. But like a
stranger introduced me, I don't know this baby. I don't
know this baby. And when the baby can talk, when
you're a stranger baby and I can talk, I bet
you will have a blast or even if they're saying
half sentences.

Speaker 2 (48:40):
Just develop some sort of related It gives.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
Anything, you know. But we're supposed to love a baby
off off the bat. I want to protect him. I
wanted to be saved, but I don't know. I have
a dog, which is not answer question no, but I
go fine because I'm not a crazy dog person to
be fair. I like have a dog. I love him.
He's a sweetie. I look into his eyes and I go,
what a sweet, innocent little baby. I want to protect.

(49:02):
But I'm not an insane dog person. My dog and
I are we not kissing on the mouth. Okay, I'm
not kissing my dog. My dog's paws are getting wiped.
These New York City streets are disgusting. Anytime I wipe
his paws when we come in black just black dirt,
And I'm like, but on the quickest walk? Why do
you have to anyway? Your baby? You change your diapers?
Was there anything you felt you weren't gonna do with
the baby? Because they're like, I'm eager, I'm ready.

Speaker 2 (49:24):
I'm here, I'm ready to go.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
Do you want your daughter to feel like when she
can talk, when she is going through herself, that she
can confide in you, like, yes, she has mom, but
like you can also tell me everything. Is that something
you want?

Speaker 2 (49:35):
Yeah? And everyone seems to think that she's gonna be
obsessed with me? Probably?

Speaker 1 (49:40):
Yeah? Probably? Does she smile every time you come around?

Speaker 2 (49:43):
She's so excited? Yeah, I mean I'm fun. Yeah, I'm
not a milk factory but I'm fun. I'm mister take
you on a watch.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
Yeah. Do you think you're going to be a disciplinariant?

Speaker 2 (49:54):
Ah? This is I think like a in a very Yeah,
I think so. I'm also I I'm strict. I operate
a strict household. Yes, okay, you know, but it's for
myself too, you know. I like like clutter free. I
like to put things away. I think these are good things.
Though I'm not like so I'm not like militant. Okay,
you know, I'm not like gonna freak out, but like

(50:15):
I do the dishes because I like a clean sink,
and I, you know, know, shoes in the house, like,
and I make the bed every morning and like it's
just stuff like that. I feel like is like in
you know, cleanliness is next to godliness.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
I think some cliches are good.

Speaker 1 (50:30):
Some of them are good.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
Yes, they're like no no, I'm saying, like they're true truth, yes,
and I think that's good. So I'm like some of
these things are like universal truth. So I think I'll
do that. But I'm not gonna like ride her for
any I don't think I'm gonna ride her. You know,
I'm gonna let her have My mom actually gave me
a really good piece of advice, which was our.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
Mom giving no, no, my grandmother.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
Brothers.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
You want to be my brother so bad, but you're
my dad for the day.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
No, we're playing a game. Daddy's your brother.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
Now playful dead. You did say you're playful dad. Okay.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
She's like, for the first seven years, you just take
care of her for the seven For the second seven years,
you discipline her. And for the third seven years you
bet her friend.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
That's lovely.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
Really, that's a really good you know, the first seven
years like just let her do what she wants. You
just take care of her. She does anything that's in
the second seven years you teach like discipline and manners
and the things that kids need to learn. And then
this and then from like fourteen to twenty one is like,
that's my friend.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
And when you think about fourteen to twenty one and
being a friend to your daughter, do you mean like
true friend. I want her to treat me like a friend,
like tell me stuff. Yeah, could she call you my
first name?

Speaker 2 (51:57):
No?

Speaker 1 (51:57):
Okay, And you're like, and that's where we're gonna talk.
I just want to say, with the boundary, I know
from one African to another. I know, and now he's
flipping the table.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
That is a white American thing. Yeah, n subway, ken.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
I will tell you I dated someone who's not white,
who was black in fact, and called his parents by
their first name, and my jaw would always be like,
this is different.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
That is not no different.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
Okay, But you want your daughter to be independent and secure?
Is there anything you worry about with her?

Speaker 2 (52:36):
Yeah, she's gonna grow up and be a lawyer.

Speaker 1 (52:38):
Really, no one likes lawyer.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
Doctor.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
You don't want to be a doctor. That's different. Okay,
that's very not African of you. Okay, I'm white. Why
now you're white? Now you're calling your mom by her
first name? No?

Speaker 2 (52:53):
What? Why?

Speaker 1 (52:54):
Why do you not want her to be a lawyer? Doctor?

Speaker 2 (52:56):
I just think that, Like, I mean, here's what I'll
say if she wants to be a lawyer doctor, cool, Okay,
I think I would connect with her more if she
wants Okay, So I mean, and my wife is also
so like creative and you know we're I think we're
gonna have a good time. So it's like if she
I feel like, if she rebels, she's gonna be like
I'm gonna be a fucking lawyer. You pricks, you know

(53:18):
what I mean. Like, but otherwise, like, I'm like, dude,
if my kids like Zoe Kravitz.

Speaker 1 (53:23):
Yeah, that's what I want.

Speaker 2 (53:23):
I want to baby Zoe Kravitz. Ass okay, daughter.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
I hope your daughter listens to this one day and
understand she's six months now, but she can go through
your files one day everywhere. Oh yeah, I get it,
I get it. I see you want a little you
want a little artist, creative? Yeah, to like complete the trip.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
Like, hey, what do you think of my my movie? Dad? Yeah? Cool,
let's watch it? Okay, not like, hey, I'm going to
school for fifteen years.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
But if she dooring, do you want her to know
you think it's boring? Say she says she wants to
do that, You're not. You're gonna pretend it's the best.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
She's the little one says I want to be a doctor.
I'm gonna say, what about a comedian?

Speaker 1 (54:01):
Oh my god, the only dad on the planet, and.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
Then she'll probably be super not funny. I'm like, you know,
a doctor thing, like we should do that. Doctors are exciting.

Speaker 1 (54:11):
Doctors are good. They ask for them on the plane
all the time.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
But hopefully she has a cool doctor where she installs
AI chips and people.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
I don't know if that's a cool doctor, Kareem, I
don't know if that's a cool doctor. It's interesting, it's
certainly interesting. So you're going for interesting. You really wanted
to be interested.

Speaker 2 (54:26):
I think I think a three dimensional, cool, interesting person. Okay,
hopefully she's not.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
Do you want to shut off?

Speaker 2 (54:33):
Imagine a loser.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
If she's a if she's getting me, oh my gosh.
I actually I hope she's not a loser, because what
is Kareema? I hope she's not a loser. So we
both what does a loser even look like? You know what?

Speaker 2 (54:45):
We know? Fucking Billy no mates.

Speaker 1 (54:47):
Billy no mates? You're British? Now, no mates, You've got
no mates?

Speaker 2 (54:51):
Google that. Okay, it's something called Billy no mates.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
Okay, what's the etymology on that? I mean, okay, yeah,
of course no mates. Yeah, but I'm like, why is
it British? I want to know why it's English? Excuse me?
Why is it English? They're going to excuse me English,
saying Billy no mates, Billy no mates.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Yes, you have such a good radio voice.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
Thanks, you know I appreciate you.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
Finally, podcast's been waiting our whole lives for this lady
to start a radio show.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
Oh my god, Dad, thank you, proud of you, thank you,
proud of you, Thank you, Dad.

Speaker 2 (55:23):
I know you pursued your passions to be in a hot,
sweaty ass room.

Speaker 1 (55:28):
Microphones, microphone right in my face. I'm asking I needed
an engineer, I needed cutting things out exactly, I'm drinking water. Well,
I guess I have a question and a half for you.
One of them is is there anything that you're super
worried you're going to fuck up?

Speaker 2 (55:45):
I mean, I'm worried that I'll spoil her. I'm worried
that I'm going to have a spoiled kid.

Speaker 1 (55:49):
And is there anything you're doing to counter that possibility?

Speaker 2 (55:53):
I say often, I'm like, I think we're spoiling her.
And then I have heard many times that you can't
spoil a baby. Oh, which might be true. I think
it is true.

Speaker 1 (56:02):
I bet well. I feel like Freud would be like, no,
you can spoil a baby. And here's how I feel
like Freud. He's dead, so tbd, I guess, but no,
Fred is daddy. I have Freud on the next episode.
By the way, coming as my Dad for the day. Again,
you're gonna do the seance? Bring him to the studio,
because again I don't want to be there for the seance. Okay,
end every episode. Let's get him together with my dad

(56:25):
and then mine no or he's an oup, my news
show up.

Speaker 2 (56:27):
I don't really want to he can, he can.

Speaker 1 (56:29):
Cycles have to be included. Can we pick someone like C. S. Lewis.
I love C. S. Lewis. That would have been a
cool dad. Clive Staples Lewis. He's an author and like
the elogian of sorts. You don't seem you don't. You
sit on the train all day. Of course you don't
read Dad, And I mean that with love. I read
my phone. I'm reading my phone, mom. Okay, literally, I

(56:50):
end every episode asking my dad for the day for
a piece of advice. So kareem, I mean, excuse me.
I would never call my dad by his first name, Dad.
I get a mop every day. It's a sort of ritual.
And I'm not a coffee drinker. Macha's become a new
thing here in the Western world. In the last like
I don't know, I want to say, like five six
years where like, we discovered macha over here, so now

(57:12):
I get a match No, no, no, I know that.
I just don't want to seem ignorant to be like,
you know, macha just came on the scene last No
macha existed.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
Before I'm acting.

Speaker 1 (57:20):
I know, okay, was stop acting down? No, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Okay,
So Dad.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
I was reacting like that.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
Dad, You and I just can't, Dad, You and I
just can't. Dad. Let me finish my explanation. So I
didn't drink coffee before. So when you'd hear people be like,
careful of that coffee you're getting every day, because one
you don't want to become addicted and two you're dishing
out six seven dollars for coffee every day now as
of the last year, I'm a macha every day person,
I go get my matcha. There's several coffee shops in

(57:49):
my neighborhood that I'm like, I'm gonna get a macha
from here today. Might get too mucha's a day. Dad.
Do you think I should stop getting machas and do
you think it's kind of wasteful?

Speaker 2 (57:58):
I think that you should get if they make you happy,
you should get the machas.

Speaker 1 (58:02):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
And if there's another reason that you're getting the machas,
like they're convenient and they allow you an extra half
hour to do something else that you would rather be
doing instead of making the macha at home, I think
you should buy the macha and spend the five or
six or seven dollars on it. And if you're concerned
about money, I think you should find another way to
save the money. So maybe instead of taking an uber

(58:25):
home every time, which I saw the uberville last month.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
I'm sorry, but thank you for letting me put your
credit card on my account.

Speaker 2 (58:32):
I know. Look, I'm not going to cut you off,
but I do think that you should try to. Like
walking is very nice, and you don't have a job.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
Right now, I don't, so you can.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
See the city, take a long walk home. You know,
you can walk home from anywhere. Yeah, if you got
the time, and you certainly do have the time, because
I know you're working on your website on my website.

Speaker 1 (58:53):
My website is a website where men wear your little
t shirts like women's t shirts, and it's like a
crop top on them, and then they have like underwear
on and and they say like I'm hank and I'm
wearing brand, you know, anyway you get it, Alex may.

Speaker 2 (59:09):
Well daughter, let me tell you a little story.

Speaker 1 (59:11):
Yes, okay, thank you so much, Dad. We gotta go.
Thank you so much, Kareem, Thank you. Is there anything
that you want to plug beyond what we said in
the intro?

Speaker 2 (59:20):
Uh? No, I guess yeah, maybe a little bit. Listen
to my new album No Worries if not on Spotify,
Apple Music, wherever you listen to albums and subscribe to
Subway takes, keep the meter running and Kareem on Instagram.
And I love you all.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Oh he loves everybody. My dad loves everybody. Thank you
so much, Korean, Thank so fine, Thank you. Thanks Dad
is a headgum podcast created and hosted by me Igo Wodem.
The show is engineered by Rochelle Chen and Anya Kanofskaya
and edited by Rochelle Chen with executive producer Emma Foley.
Katie Moose is our VP of Content at Headgum. Thanks

(59:55):
to Jason Matheni for our show art and Faris Manshi
for our themes song. For more podcasts by Headgum, visit
headgum dot com or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and maybe, just
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