Kenan Thompson

Kenan Thompson joins Ego to discuss their respective experiences at SNL, finding a good therapist, and Ego gets some advice on knowing when to walk away.

Guest: Kenan Thompson

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is a headgum podcast. Hello, Hello, Hello, I'm Ago
Wodhem and welcome to Thanks Dad. I was raised by
a single mom and I don't have a relationship with
my dad, and spoiler, I don't think I'm ever gonna
have one with him because he's dead. Yep, He's dead.

(00:25):
But that's okay, guys, because on this podcast, I'm sitting
down with father figures who are either old enough to
be my dad or who are just dads themselves. I'm
getting to ask the questions I've always wanted to ask
a dad, like how do I know if the guy
I'm dating is right for me? Or how do I
even change the oil in my car? And can you
help me perfect my jump shot? I'm so bad at basketball,

(00:47):
maybe because I didn't have a dad. Anyway, let's get
into it with my dad for today. My next guest,
you know, Today's Emmy Award winning guest from Saturday Night Live,
Good Burger, The Mighty Ducks, and so much more, so
much more. Please welcome my dad for the day, Keenan Thompson.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
It is a pleasure.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
I feel like there should be applause.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
That's can we do?

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah? Let's yes, come on, come on, I'm so happy
you're here.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
How you doing, I'm good?

Speaker 1 (01:17):
How are you?

Speaker 2 (01:18):
I'm great?

Speaker 1 (01:19):
You are you always are great? You always say you're great.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
I'll be trying.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
You're always positive? You do you feel positive most of
the time?

Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yeah, because I focus on that, you know what I mean.
I try to focus on the positive or the lessons
in life, you know what I'm saying. Like it's just
a good way to like take life as it comes,
as opposed to like hyperreacting to things. Right, not that
I try not to like not feel things or whatever,
like I feel it, but you know, I also would
like to feel my journey through getting you know, through

(01:47):
the pain of it and getting back to the positive,
you know what I'm saying. So like I'm already reaching
towards the positive way earlier, so it feels like the
positive comes back sooner.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Okay, So I want to ask you because you're so
he's giggling, because I'm we're going there, Keenan. Are your
parents positive people? Like optimistic?

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah? I mean my dad is most definitely at this point.
He's you know, really religious and like daily affirmative, you
know what I mean, And like they both raised me
in like a non denominational kind of truth kind of church,
which is very like you know, power and spoken word
and stuff like that. So I yes, I want to
say so Like my mom is a little more how

(02:28):
do I word this? Is like she believes in you
know what, she doesn't know necessarily, but she's more focused
on the tangible, you know what I'm saying, Like because
she has to deal with the tangible more, okay, And
like my dad can kind of you know, just be
in the hopeful you know what I mean, in his
mindset or whatever, and she's very much like yeah that

(02:51):
and tackle the day at present hand with my hands.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
You know what, This is what I'm actually facing. This
is what I can actually control. This is what needs
to be.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
Done right without taking anything from it. Like, yeah, it's
nice to believe in your imagination, you know, I don't
want to put it like that, but she definitely is
much more like focused on like, yeah, these bills are
here to be paid.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
You know, I'm right, and we can pray about it,
but okay, the bill still need to be paid and
Kanad is not going to.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Take But even in that, it's like they say, like
prayer without action is a form of you know, wrongdoing
if you will.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Because without deeds is dead, right.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
All of that. So it's like you still gotta it's
in there that you got to do the work still.
So it's not like you can just hope and dream
and then you know you get taken away by the
unicorns to the street to go right. While you're here,
you have to go through life.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
Basically you've been given the ability to do because you're
meant to.

Speaker 2 (03:50):
Like, I mean, that's the other thing when you talk
about like how you're doing, it's like, yeah, we're going
to talk about comparisons. Man, Like when you think of
like what you're going through that's not necessarily physically hurting
you or like emotionally hurting you, hurting you, you know
you can you can add up the pros in your life,
you know what I mean. Like I like being black,
I like being American, I like being you know, able

(04:13):
to walk, I got all my limbses and I'm beloved
and I'm a child of God and all these things,
you know what I'm saying. So you start reaffirming those things.
Hopefully that's just started spinning you out of anything negative
that's happened or you know, been brought up or whatever.
But easier said than that.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
I'm sure, absolutely Okay, were your parents people who foster
community or like, were people always over because I'm like,
I feel like that's also inherent to you or not
sort of thing to be like, I'm going to be
remain close to people, are super connected to people.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah, we were communal, Like you know, they both come
from My mom comes from you know, she's the oldest
of seven, I know what I'm saying. And my dad
was like a middle child of three. But they're extended,
Like his mom and dad had a lot of kids
and like or cousins or brothers and siblings stuff with it.
So they come from big families. And then we had
a lot of cousins me and my brother growing up,

(05:04):
and then like I have my sister when she came
along later in life and stuff like that. So I
think us not being on a level of like time
sharing kind of thing to where you want to do
a lot of like out of town vacation. All of
our vacations growing up were like back home, back to
their hometown kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (05:23):
Okay, So like you're both of your parents are from Virginia, right, Okay,
are they still together?

Speaker 2 (05:29):
They are not? Okay, divorced when I was.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
Like twelve, when you were twelve? Was that hard or
was it fine for you? My parents got divorced when
I was a baby, So I'm like, I yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Like anytime I think past the age of you being
able to remember, which is like three years old, you
know what I'm saying, it's tough. Tough.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, yeah, did you you remain close to your dad though.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
I'm close with both of them.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
You're close with both of them? What's your dad like?
He's like, I know, religious? Is it Christian? Or is
it not quite that.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
It is Christian? Like they both grew up Baptist, but
the church that they went to was a lady who
grew a Baptist that started a non denominational church. Okay, cool,
but very very Baptist, you know, adjacent okay, will as
far as the music, you know what I'm saying, but
still preaching from the Bible as well, you know what
I mean. But also like using the words and like

(06:19):
finding the truth in the story as opposed to the metaphors,
you know what I mean, Like instead of the metaphoric version,
it's like, what is the actual truth like what are
you actually capable of doing kind of thing? Like some
people do have healing properties, some people have sight, so
you know, like real like real talking. It's not necessarily sypeless,
a feeling of or you know, a voice that says,

(06:41):
you know, I don't know, I witness some wild shit
or in that.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
Church you did.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
Yeah, early on, like early on, you know, our preacher
had this lady come who's like from Trinidada, and she
was just laying hands on people and laying people out,
you know what I'm saying. And watched my mom get
laid out, you know what I'm saying. She just put
her hands on her and like she just fell out.
And I was like, once I saw it happened to
my mom, I was like, Yo, what's that right? What happened?

(07:08):
She was like, I was like for real, She was like, yeah,
I just passed out.

Speaker 1 (07:13):
Like wow, because your mom is I want to say
miss saying is not as she's not going to buy
in she but yeah, so when it when it happened
to her, You're like, hold on because it.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Was immediate, you know what I mean, Like how it
would be like on the televangelist. But this lady was
really like speaking about people's futures and things like that.
Like she put her hands on my chest and she
was like, careful with your chest kind of thing in
the future. Whatever. Mm hmm, it's interesting, careful with your lungs.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
She said, what do you take that to have meant? Then?

Speaker 2 (07:49):
I mean, I I don't really know. Like sometimes it
can be like influential, you know what I'm saying, to
where it could have let me down, like, oh, what's
going on with my lungs? And like, am I going
to be a smoker later on in life? And like
having those thoughts ingrained early maybe could have led me
towards the path. Maybe, But at the same time, you know,
we're at where we're at kind of thing. And she
wasn't necessarily wrong to be cautious of.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
So yeah, So then when it happened to your mom,
you were like, Okay, I believe this, Yeah, I believe
this is real because my mom is the practical one.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Well, you know, I can't vouch for all the mother strangers.
They're adults, you know what I'm saying. And like I
was ninish the eightish ninish, and I'm watching all this
happen and it was a night service too, was like
an off time, you know what I'm saying. It wasn't
like the normal Sunday afternoon. It was like an evening things.
It was like a private gathering of voodooism. Was like,

(08:41):
was she wearing all what they're doing magic?

Speaker 1 (08:43):
The woman?

Speaker 2 (08:43):
No, she was very simply dressed. And she was a
little lady, you know, I mean that's what I remember.
But she was a little powerful.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
Okay. Did your dad branch off from like the Baptist
church to this non denominational one because there were things
about the Baptist church he wasn't messing with or was
it something about the woman who started the church?

Speaker 2 (09:01):
It was the lady that started the church, I think.
And the locale because when they first moved to Atlanta,
I think they were looking for a church home kind
of thing, and that helped them like learn the community
basically from being out of town thing.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Okay, And he still goes to church and your dad okay,
I think, so okay, And okay, so how would you
so he's just religious? What else would you say? It's
true of his general persona personality.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
He likes to talk, okay, because he feels like he's
seen a lot, learned a lot. He wants to share it,
but very giving, you know, and yeah, we have more
like a sibling kind of bond point kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (09:41):
Okay, you say you now at this point, but like
was it always like that or did you feel.

Speaker 2 (09:45):
Like, Okay, it was father son dynamic for sure. Okay,
you know what I mean. It wasn't, you know, the
opposite until much later, not in my adulthood.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
Okay, well do you think it was like after you
had your own kids or something or before.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
It was before that, but like it was when I
was starting to be like the most financial stable person
around basically kind of thing, and it was like in
my like mid to late twenties kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yeah, did you guys always get along?

Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yeah? Yeah no, I mean like Pops was always cool. Yeah,
you know, like whatever happened is like between them and
for them to have to work out, but like he
never came in me sabways.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, I'm always like because my parents got divorced so young,
and I've seen how divorce later has affected some of
my best childhood friends or like their parents getting divorced
when they were like ten, or their parents getting divorced
when they're like fourteen, I'm like, what is that experience,
like in your experience where you're like, he never came
at me any kind of way, do you? Were you
able even at that age should just be like whatever

(10:47):
went on with them is what went on with them,
and my relationship with each of them is a separate thing.
Like were you did you have the wherewithal at that
age to feel that and recognize that.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
Yeah, because like every day we were still around, you
know what I'm saying, Like we y'all still went to
the same church and like my dad, you know, met
my sister's mom at the church. Like I knew my
sister's mom before they started dating kind of thing, you
know what I mean. So it was all very like close,
maybe too close, but it was close. So it was
never like a distant thing. It was just like he

(11:19):
lived somewhere else in Atlanta now kind of thing, you
know what I'm saying, And like he's around and like
I'll see him like when I see him kind of thing,
but you know I live at home or whatever. Yeah,
So like it wasn't a lot of like a couple
of days over here, a couple of days over there.
All the time. It's like I live at home and
I see him and spend the night maybe you know.
But then I was also like, by the time he

(11:40):
remarried and was like raising my sisters, like getting towards
like later years in high school kind of things, I
don't really be spending the night anywhere anyway, you know
what I'm saying. So it wasn't really like a whole
lot of like kicking it time until I was already
like out of the house kind of thing. And then
I would like, you know, choose to spend my time
with whoever right kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
What kind of stuff would you guys do when you
did kick it in your dad?

Speaker 2 (12:03):
Just hanging out talking watching sports or something, or like
we went to the super Bowl when I was in Atlanta,
you know what I mean, Like that kind of relationship.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
I have started this podcast because I'm I had male
figures in my life, so I don't feel Someone asked me, Mike.
He asked me. He was like, do you feel like
you missed out? And I go, that's a question I
asked myself all the time, but not all the time.
I've asked myself I should say, and I'm like, I
don't really like, I really feel like I lived a
full life.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
You've lived the life that you've lived, you know what
I'm saying. Yeah, it doesn't necessarily have voids unless you
look at them as voids kind of thing, you know
what I'm saying. So if it wasn't a void for you,
then it's just been like not the life you've lived
is good. Good on you, like if you feel good
in it.

Speaker 1 (12:43):
Kind of That's what I was alluding to too, is
that I'm like, I feel like I've lived the life
that I've lived, but seeing movies and TV shows suggest
because I feel like movies and TV shows are quite
powerful and that maybe does not sound profound in any way,
and it's maybe basic and rudimentary, but I'm like they
are quite powerful when you talk about your dad and
like the affirmations and like what you see and what

(13:07):
you choose to believe. So point is i'd see like
it's like you're supposed to be so fraught and torn
up about not having a dad, but I don't feel
that way. And I didn't feel that way.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Because I feel like it's not it's different for you
because nothing was necessarily torn from you. You know what
I'm saying, like you hadn't built up this whole bank
of memories and then all of a sudden they have
to be different now, Like for you, it was just
like on the one path the whole time kind of thing,
you know what I mean, Like did you have did
your mom like remarry or she did to.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
Remarry, but I have a lot of uncles. She's one
of nine. She didn't remarry, but I have a lot
of uncles. I have two older brothers, I have my faith,
And so I'm like, I just when you had to.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Like explain to people like where your dad might may
or may not be, do you remember feeling a certain
kind of way about it now?

Speaker 1 (13:57):
And it's interesting because I'm like, I don't think anyone
really asked, Like if I'm really pausing to think about it,
I'm like, I don't think anyone really asked, almost like
it was like understood. Like I remember going to college
and a friend being like, it might beat the root
of some troubles, And I'm like, I guess, low hanging.

Speaker 2 (14:12):
What kind of troubles? Right? What is reflective of like
not really knowing what you're missing?

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Right? That's my thing. I was like, if you want
to believe that because I know you've seated in movies
and on TV shows. That's really fine. I actually had
a therapist a few years ago, so in twenty twenty,
and she was so like the dad thing, the dad thing.
And I had to tell her after like three sessions,
I was like, Hey, so the dad thing. I was like,

(14:37):
it's not that.

Speaker 2 (14:38):
I just don't yes, I don't really think we're getting
anywhere focusing on that. Literally what it is?

Speaker 1 (14:44):
That? Literally yes? And I said, hey, if we organically,
over time working together discover ah, the dad thing, fine,
but you like I was like, that's not the real
So two years of working together, I will say.

Speaker 2 (14:59):
Well, that's what it is.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
It's the dead.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
That's the problem.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
Your stomach hurts is the dead thing. And so I
had to.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
Tell you like the first five questions of knowing somebody,
so like all your parents again, it's like, oh, there
it is in which one do you think you're closer to?
My mom currently spent most of that well then everything.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Your days because of the dead.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
But people do that, that's not a professional.

Speaker 1 (15:24):
I also think this is a hot take. I don't
think this is maybe too hot. I think there's a
good number of therapists that aren't good. Is that hot?

Speaker 2 (15:32):
Take it?

Speaker 1 (15:34):
I didn't name names. I'm not naming names.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
I just think it's people you got to be like
any industry people that are like yeah, right, some people
are just like getting by for sure.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
And then people are going to therapy because it's this
big thing to go to therapy. It's a big, huge thing,
and it's so vulnerable, and your hope is that you're
not like bouncing around from therapist to therapists because it's
already a big deal that you made up your mind
to go. So I think some therapists are getting by
on like yeah, they signed up for therapy, and I
don't have to be that good. I don't like I

(16:10):
get to be okay at my say.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Say nothing.

Speaker 1 (16:14):
Am I wrong? Kean, You're not wrong, but you're not
saying anything.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
But I think it's it's it's you know, it's crazy.
There's a lot of therapy going on these days. It
might you know, I know people that have like watched
closely go to therapy and then like after a while
they be like still feeling like stage one in here.
You know what I'm saying, Like, yeah, really getting too
far with ship that I already didn't kind of know,

(16:39):
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (16:40):
So it's like, and sometimes they're great, by the way,
sometimes they are great, but I think there's a lot
of that going on. So I'm told this woman, I
was like, I don't think it's that, but if we
get there over we work together and you go, Okay,
but a go. Now that I know all of this
information context and we've been working together for some time,
I really feel strongly it's the dead thing, right, Okay,

(17:00):
we do two years together and at the end of
the two years, as we were having our like okay,
it's time to part ways, she was like, I just
also want to say thank you for not letting me
go with the low hanging fruit. And that's what I
called it when we first started working together. And I
was like, you keep on with this dad thing. But
she was like, I appreciate. She's like, actually, don't think
that's your problem.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
I know.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
I was like, I know, I tried to tell you,
I don't know what my problem is, but I'm gonna
tell you it's not that. Like it it's definitely not that. Yeah,
the client, yes, And I feel like a lot of
therapy is retraining people to trust their own voice and
instinct and gut, because so much in life has caused
people to stray from their own instincts and guts.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
And yeah, I mean there's a level of like instruction
to it, you know what I mean. And some people
not that you don't know these things already, but you
might need to be reminded to focus on for sure.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Were there lessons that your dad taught you though that
you that really stick with you to this day?

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yeah, in intent and non intent, you know what I mean? Right, Like,
learning from observance is a very powerful thing that I've
I don't know if it's nothing that I'm good at it,
it's just like what I do. I'm a very observant
kind of person. I think It's why I'm somewhat of
an impressionist kind of thing, because you know, I just
take on these things that I notice. Yeah, but yeah,

(18:27):
he's taught me a lot, Like he's taught me a
lot of you know, how to be a man, how
to be a wise person, how to be a you know,
a good stand up this that you know, my father
kind of a business person and just like just like
a solid like part of the brotherhood as well, you
know what I mean. Like, you know, I take being
black very seriously, and you know, a lot of people

(18:48):
might misconstrue it because I try to push past the boundaries.
That SML kind of thing, right, and they might make
it seem like I might be whitewashed, whitewash or something
like that. But it's kind of the exact opposite of that.
I was trying to like uplift and project forward.

Speaker 1 (19:03):
Always kind of understand. But it's also I just want
to say, you're just working at us now, and I
don't have to tell you this, right, but I get
to now after six seasons, have my own insight about
the place. But you'll never understand if you've never worked there, right,
You just want you just there's you can read all this.

Speaker 2 (19:22):
Everybody's journey is specific too, you know what I'm saying.
Like it's weird, like we are both African American, but
at the same time, like my journey is not yours. Man,
like my sense of humor and like it's it's similar,
you know, but it's also I emphasize certain errors that
you might not necessarily emphasize, you know what I mean,

(19:42):
You're also younger, and this, that and the other. So
everybody's path is just like organically going to be different.
But you service the show very well, you know what
I mean. Like I know it's like a land mine,
you know what I mean. But like you the person
and you the talent, like you're gifted. Man, Like I imitate
you so much because it impresses on me. You're like

(20:03):
you have such a different style and sound and sense.
It's great.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
Thank you, Keenan. That means a lot to me coming
from you, because I also it's a challenging place and
seeing how you've navigated it and remembering like there's Wednesdays
after table read where I go, Man, I wonder what
it was like for Keenan seventeen years ago. Though here's
just Keenan like going through it.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
Right.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
I see Keenan now, and that's the easy thing to do.
And this is in life. It's crazy. But I'm like,
I see you now, right, You're twenty twenty four at
table read, and I'm like, I see the time you're having,
I see what your Saturday looks like. I see the
respect you're given that you beyond deserve, And it would
be very easy for me to go, oh, man, I
just that's I want that, right, But I have to

(20:48):
remember and I advise people too, where I'm like, that's
not always been Keenan's experience. Keenan has not always had
that experience. Keenan has had probably some worse experience than
we've even had. And I'm like, and everyone's journey is different,
but it's easy to like look at where someone is
today right now and not even consider what their path
might have been and what challenges they might have faced.

(21:09):
So it means a lot to me to hear that
coming from you, and you're always very complimentary and generous.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
It's real and like I can't fake it, you know
what I mean. Like it's like what comedy is, like
is the joke funny or not? Period? You know what
I'm saying. If it doesn't get a laugh, that just
told you. You know what I'm saying, Like there is
no imagewen, So like I don't have to like big
you up with fakes, you know what.

Speaker 1 (21:33):
I'm saying at all, I'm not getting any laughs. Kids,
Like she's great, a massive.

Speaker 2 (21:37):
Amount of work that's made it on the show. Forget
about what hasn't you know what I'm saying, which is
eight times that, you know what I'm saying, Like brilliant
shit at the table on Wednesday, you know what i mean.
It's just like swing take taking swings. Yeah, and you
can see that this is going to be a continuous
thing for a person, kind of thing like early you
know what I'm saying. And then it's nice to be

(21:59):
able to like watch it play out kind of like
in a positive like you said, you finished six seasons.
Like some people, you know what i mean, get the one,
some people get the three, some people get to four
and a half. You know what I'm saying. Yeah, you know,
shout out to Punky and Molly. I'm gonna miss that.
I'm gonna miss that. I'm going to be in there
a long time. You watch people come and go, you
know what I'm saying. So you have to like deal

(22:20):
with the party of friendships and kind of things, the
morning of the loss of like certain people's presence and
all that. So it's so there's a lot of bittersweet
to it, you know what i mean. Like we've had
crew members die, you know, like all kinds of shit.
So it's a heavier thing than just like shit is
sweet for me because I've been there a long time.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah, I can I can only imagine, honestly, I have
a like an immense I've never I don't know if
I've told you, because we don't. I don't know, but
I have a lot of respect for you and what
you do at the show, and bigger than all of that,
which I just had a conversation with someone yesterday about this,
the thing that really matters here to me in my opinion,
and the thing I admire and respect about people that

(22:59):
at SNL, for people that I do have a lot
of respect for, is the way you show up and
the way you treat people. You know, I'm not I'm
not pointed to anyone individual, but there's a sort of
like everyone feels kind of tired and worn down, and
we do work these crazy hours. So I empathize with
that and I've experienced that, right, But you choose to

(23:20):
be positive and you choose to be kind, and you
seem you continue to seem like you have gratitude for
the position you are in in life and in at
the show, and it's it's unique unto you, honestly in
that way. And so I don't know that I've said it,
but it makes a lot of a lot, a lot,
a lot, a lot, a lot of difference.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
Now I appreciate that I've heard you say you know,
versions of that, of course, but at the same time,
you know, it's almost too much to focus on, you
know what I'm saying, to like focus on how big
the show is, or focus on my impact on others
kind of like that. It's just that will start to
bring to stress, you know what I'm saying, because like

(24:01):
whenever I ran up against it's very like deflating to
me the hero that's like shitty, right, I.

Speaker 1 (24:11):
Know, And let me tell you what, in my little
time at SNL, I'm like, oh, damn, well, that sucks.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
Number one, thank you for saying that. But like number
two is like, man, I don't really understand why people
aren't like that same.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
But the reality is, at the end of the day,
we're not all like that. And so I want you
to know that it is not lost on us, and
it's certainly not lost on me. Just you are consistent.
You are consistent, and I couldn't pay a higher compliment
in terms of like just a solid kind presence. And
I have the utmost respect for you for that, because

(24:44):
it doesn't have to be that way, and there would
always be grace if you didn't show up that way,
because that place is hard and people have things going
on in their personal lives, et cetera. But you still
show up the way you do. You said something to me,
Keenan about your dad teaching you how to be a
man when you were like, these are the things I
learned from him, whether intentionally or unintentionally or just by observation.
Fascinating topic to me a woman, even if I wasn't

(25:06):
a woman. I just to ago, honestly, what did you
learn from him about how to be a man? Like,
I'm so curious what it means because it's such a
that definition feels like variable for people.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Well, I mean, I feel like the dynamic was pretty
traditional there. They both worked, but he didn't really cook
like that. His cooking was a lot more random. So
like the providing of nourishment and nurture seemed to come
from my mom's side, which is like very traditional kind
of thing. And then yeah, we would throw football so

(25:39):
or we would work on cars, or we would talk
about you know, comedy, like the way we talked about
comedy was different, Like my mom was a little more
like teh Ish with comedy, and he was much more
like let's talk about aide Murphy and our senior and
like what they're doing the link where I learned my
usual like traditional kind of black man sense of humor
from and like so like that's where being a provider

(26:03):
and like all that kind of the side of being
a man kind of thing was what he was, Like
cut your hand, you just go fix it, you don't
really cry kind of thing. But also like you know,
the fear of God, the power of the spoken word,
the power of lessons, you know, because that's what the
Bible kind of is a book of whether you believe

(26:23):
it's stories or if you just even if it is stories,
take the lessons from it kind of thing. Both can
be valuable and helpful. So like a lot of people,
you refer to it as a tool or a sword,
you know what I mean, Like it's just equipping you
with some sort of weaponry that like combat life, you
know what I'm saying. On a day of day, right,

(26:43):
and you know how to like own your own business
or being your own man or whatever, shoot guns, protect
your family and your loved ones. Don't take no shit,
you know what I mean, watch out for the wolves.
That's that seemed like sheep or whatever, kind of like
all those kind of lessons.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah, one day I found myself in years past and
I'm actively trying to be like, don't, don't, don't do that.
But I said something that I was like, I wanted
to get ahead of any like sort of like, oh, well,
that's an outdated way of viewing the world. So we
were on the floor. I think it's my second season,
and I don't know what exactly we were talking about.

(27:19):
It is like me, you and another cast member were waiting,
well to do blocking, We're waiting for the control room
to be ready, and I said something like again, I
can't remember what we're talking about, but I go, I know,
I know, but like not that dads have to protect
their daughters because that's outdated. And you go, well, if
they're not like they should be, and he's like, they're not,
what are they? What are they doing? And I the
reason I remember it partially is because I one was like,

(27:41):
I do agree with you, and then too is because
I go, why did every once in a while say
a thing to be like let me get like, I
know this is not the progressive thing to say, so
I'm gonna say. I know, I know it's not like
the man protecting his daughter, right, but that's not actually
what I believe, right, And then you said and I
was like, yeah, I mean that's actually what I believe. Yeah,
what is it mean to you to protect your daughters?

Speaker 2 (28:04):
I mean, forget about it, you know what I'm saying,
Like people don't want to find out.

Speaker 1 (28:12):
So the answer to that one is fuck around and
find out.

Speaker 2 (28:14):
Yeah, don't even don't even bother. You know, I'm because
it's like they're so precious and I've watched them from
their most innocent moment, you know what I'm saying. So
to me, anything that's going to like garner my reaction,
they definitely didn't deserve, you know what I'm saying. So
it's like, don't even think about it. Seriously when it

(28:34):
comes to a child. It's like anybody that would like
watch a situation where someone who's bigger than the other
is getting taken advantage, you know what I mean, Like
the smaller person to getting taken advantage of a situation.
Look at that's not fair, you know what I mean.
So you would step in and like like maybe I
don't have to be the one to feeld shoes, but
let me like find somebody your size, homie, and like

(28:54):
maybe y'all can go at the kind of thing as
opposed to this dynamic. Right, So you know what, it's
as long as a child's not a dick, it's they're
probably going through something that they don't really know how
to get to their like decent self, you know what
I'm saying, Because they are a child and they're like whatever.
You know, like the way they're acting is probably not

(29:17):
we know, it's not the way it was meant to be.
Because you know, hopefully if you're born into like even
America kind of thing, you know, like the hopes is
life can be beautiful, you know what I'm saying. Like
you got a lot of opportunity here just having a
US passport, you know, like as in like broad overstroke

(29:38):
of life being an American. Like of course we have
our food deserts and things like that. You know, financial
you know, huge gaps and you know wealth disparities or whatever.
But you know, the ideology is like it's better here
than a lot of places, right, right, so you try
to focus on that being more so the want of

(29:59):
the reality of a child. But even though if they're
misbehaving or whatever, still they should have the mentality that
you can overcome these moments kind of thing. So when
people are like trying to take advantage of them or
harm them in any sort of way, it's hyper egregious, right,
which garnishes need to react, however, gates to like any

(30:22):
reaction that I want, and it's like, why would you
want to do that? You should just avoid doing that.
But some people are sick.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Yeah, that's true, that's true. I mean, I appreciate the
perspective of it's that level of love and protection that
you feel for not only your children, but children in
general or vulnerable populations. I saw a quote that said
there are everyone children are everyone's children and something. I'm
bastardizing it, but like to that effect, and I'm like,

(30:49):
that is.

Speaker 2 (30:50):
Beautiful, yeah, because I feel like if that weren't the case,
it wouldn't be so hard to raise a child by themselves,
you know what I'm saying. By yourself, by themselves, you
know what I mean, Like it really is so much
better with a village, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (31:08):
You when I talk about getting raised when I'm like
my family, right, people some people like misquote me like
her parents, and I go, I said, my family. So
I have my mom, and I have all my aunts
and uncles and my big brothers who don't play about, and.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Your play on and uncles, and you and your mentors
and your teachers, and your your your community and you
know beyond. So like I feel like, you know, I
was raised by my parents, but I was also raised
by their friends, teachers, mentors, society, and then Atlanta and
then you know, America on top of you know what
I mean, all these things.

Speaker 1 (31:41):
Kind of right, I'm curious because you said also something
about your dad about like if you cut your hand,
you don't cry, just fix it. Did you feel like
which that sounds very traditional. I also feel like the
generation that I'm straddling is one that is sort of like,
get yourself together, don't show emotion, We're not particularly vulnerable.

(32:02):
And then this newer generation that feels more in tune
and in touch and expressive concerning emotions.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
Okay, yeah, and it wasn't necessarily like stifling emotion.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
Yeah yeah, I.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
Think like to me, like when I tell my girls,
like stop crying, you know what I mean, Because they're
like going on and on about something and like it
feels like the moment has passed for them to like
cry and like get past it or whatever. So then
it's like, Okay, y'all.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
Are just dwelling, indulging maybe yeah, And that's.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
When I'm like, especially when the little one starts going
in and she's just like whining, you know what I'm saying, Like,
I'm like, we don't do the whining thing, you know
what I'm saying, because like I feel like my perspective
is preparing them for things that may come along that
are like way more serious in what's happening her thing,
not to like diminish how they feel about a specific

(32:57):
thing in the moment, but also like give a little
bit of perspective of like, this isn't the end all,
be all thing the way you're acting like it is,
you know what I mean, so you can really just
move past it. And like the way I watched them
like change their mind and whole attitude and all of that,
I'm like, so, so, what was your parents so much
about it in the first place kind of thing I'm saying,
right right, So when my Pops was like that. I

(33:19):
feel like he was preparing us for things that might
be much worse than like a nick Yeah, you know
what I'm saying, Like shit is real and he's seen
versions of that growing up through the fifties and sixties
and seventies kind of thing and all that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
Did he ever share anecdotes from his life with you?
Because you're saying he likes to talk, that's like his thing.

Speaker 2 (33:37):
And much more later on because earlier in life he
was busy, you know, so we didn't have a lot
of like one on one time to just sit and
chat kind of thing. But like when I was older,
you know, he started like running down you know, because
our time would just be like, okay, we got two
hours to really just like kick it, you know what
I'm saying. So he'll spend that time just like telling
me all these stories. So I recently found out that

(33:59):
he grew up with like an outhouse and shit like that,
and he used to get stomach aches because he was
scared to use it. This is a Virginia get really
cold in the wintertime, So I'm thinking, like, you know,
outhouse for real, it's like every day, all day it's
not like every outhouse like in the winter or in
the summertime when it's nights. It's like, well, that's how
you do that thing. You we do every day.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
Every day of multiple times a day, and I drink
a lot of water and I'm like, I go to
the bathroom. I feel like he used to have.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
Like stomach aches and shit like that because he never
wanted to go because he was scared of snakes or whatever,
and the snakes would be in there maybe sometimes maybe,
but like no light and also in the cold, you
know what I'm saying. And that put a whole lot
in perspective because I've always looked at him as like
a modern dude, Like, you know, this town he grew
up in, he grew up in the town. My mom
is the one that grew up in the woods. You

(34:48):
know what I'm saying. Her family's in the woods, like
in the fields and blah blah blah, and they're the
ones would accepted tanks. Yeah, you know, when I would
visit my dad's like childhood home, they had like a
sewer system, you know in place. Okay, So I never
knew he had grown up with an outhouse like the
previous version right, that shit was.

Speaker 1 (35:07):
Crazy wow, And I'm just like trying to imagine. I'm
sorry because now I'm stuck. I'm like, he had an
outhouse and he would get stomach aged beaus he didn't
want to go and expressing that vulnerability to you. I
was thinking recently about optimism, adopting optimism, but like, if
I can make myself believe that everything is going to

(35:27):
work out exactly how I want it to work out,
or even better than I can imagine, and then perhaps
from time to time i'm disappointed because it doesn't measure
up to that. I'm like, but what it does for
my mind to think positively, there's no real loss in
that to like, cause things are going to turn out
sort of how they might, but there's a potential for
you to change the course of how they turn out

(35:48):
just by thinking positively. But also the like, it's such
a better place for your mind to be than being
like I'm preparing for the worst or for an undesirable outburst.

Speaker 2 (35:59):
Yeah, because it's like de nihil. I'm not naive, you
know what I mean. I'm gullible, but I'm not naive.
You know what I'm saying, You're gible, very very very like,
I'll believe whatever story is until it's like, wait, really crazy,
But which.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
One of your parents is gullible? Because I'm always like
I feel like we get it all from somewhere.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
My mom because she's such a book nerd. She's just
like in her own like world too. When someone like
says something to her, like she just assuming it's going
to be the truth because you were distracting her from
what she's doing.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
Okay, Okay, it's like, okay, so you.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
Play with somebody like pull me out of what I'm
doing to like tell me lies.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
Isn't that crazy? That's what I want to talk to
her about because that's what I have questions about that
by now you put out of what I'm doing to.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
Just going through life like just on my daily like
blank mindedness. You know what I'm saying, Like it's a
nice day, Like what do I have to do? Work wise?
What do I not have to do? It's a free moment. Great,
I'm not already thinking about nothing.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
And so I can tell you any wants.

Speaker 2 (36:55):
To come up to me and start telling me shit, Yeah,
if they're super stranger, there's walls up. But if it's
somebody I know, it'll take me a while to figure
out if they're doing a bit or not.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
Okay, do you wish you were less scullable?

Speaker 2 (37:08):
No? Okay, wonder like expecting kind of not expecting anything,
you know what. I love just like hearing and reacting
kind of thing, as opposed to like always being like,
you know, having a sarcasm kind of filter up, you know,
just to try to like is this sarcasm and catching

(37:29):
it like too quickly yeah, yeah, you know, or quickly
enough kind of thing you don't care. Like, no, I'm
not really like investing in like other people shit, you know,
and until it starts affecting me. So it's like you're
telling me a story and like that's affected me, so
like where is this story going? You know what I'm saying.
If it's not going nowhere, I'm like, okay, so you

(37:50):
were playing with me. I never know when people are playing.
It doesn't land very well because I don't react like
oh that was amazing, blah blah blah. You know what
I'm saying. I'm always just like cool, Well, do you
have anything for real you want to say? Because that
would be nice. I have awkward interactions with people all
the time. They come up here doing bits and I'm like,
always on some real shit.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
Well, this is the thing about you if that's the
reaction to it, is like, oh, you were playing okay?
Are you going okay? Because at that point you're a
little annoyed that they were playing with you, because you
know you could give them a fake. You could give
them a fake.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Like I'm annoyed by the situation because I know I'm
not that guy and they don't know that I'm not
that guy, and I have to introduce them to that,
and it's always terrible because they're expecting me to be
just the like joking joking, how have that kind of
shit on my mind constantly or whatever? And I rarely
do I.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Feel similarly, even like when I I think I did
my first late night show appearance. I came in, I
went back to work. I think I was on Seth
Myers and I came to you and you were like, oh, ho,
I was it? And I was like, I don't know.
I guess I'm supposed to be joking all the time.
I was like like it was Seth, no problem of sess.
But I was like, oh, I think I'm supposed to
be joking at all times. But I'm a pretty earnest person,

(39:04):
like because I.

Speaker 2 (39:05):
Think I get tired of it, you know what I mean.
It's the same way I try not to do too
much joking around Lorn that's not prepared, yeah, because he's
heard so many jokes. And it's like if you're just
taking swings, you can see the frustration on people's fates
and they just like get this interested in walk away.
So I was like, I'm nipping that in.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
The butt enough. It's funny because now that you're just
saying that there is someone who I feel like tries
to do a bit with me that I'm not in on,
and I'm like, it's not if you are. I'm like,
I'm not in on it. And I'm like, here's my thing.
I'm like, who's the audience? Who's the audience that I
don't see because it's just me and you in an interaction.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
Also, people forget that they might be strangers, you know
what I'm saying, And like a stranger is a real thing,
you know what I'm saying, Like I don't really go like,
you know, there's crazy people in the world, you know
what I'm saying. So you can't just assume everybody's like
living above board. Yeah, like they should be, you know
what I mean. So like it's not my fault that
I didn't catch the joke, because like I'll be ready

(39:59):
to swing on my.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
Fucker and I was about to. It's like pumped. I
would have loved to see you on.

Speaker 2 (40:04):
We were talking about that two days ago. Like guys,
I think I felt like they were targeting people that
were doing patternistic behaviors, but also kind of like high
signing a little bit since I wasn't moving like that,
they didn't really have a reason that like pumped me,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
Give me go back and see the list of people
they pumped.

Speaker 2 (40:22):
I think.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
I think there's some validity.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
Like a lot of them like were set up by
their reps and ship, and I felt like my reps
knew not to play with me like that.

Speaker 1 (40:28):
You know what it is. You've been doing comedies for
so long.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
Person, you know what I'm saying. But at the same time,
like I had to learn the lesson. I used to
be very comfortable with people, Like I remember I was
like crossing the line with TC. There's real name, Rest
in Peace, but he played TC on MATN m P
I and I kept tapping him on the shoulder. I
was like, my man, TC, my man. I kept tapping
his shoulder because he was a big dude, and I
was like yeah. He was like, hey man, stop touching me.

(40:59):
I was. I worked to twelve fourteen, you know what
I mean, you're like really young. Yeah, And he was
like really, like got serious with the child.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
It was like, start touching.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
It was like, oh, wow, there are boundaries in line. Wow.

Speaker 1 (41:10):
Is that something you think like it would be important
to you to teach your girls.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
I think what I should teach my girls is to
be prepared for and just go ahead and take the
picture and smile anyway, because that interaction is better than
trying to keep it real most of the time. But
at the same time, stay true to yourself. If you're
not feeling it, then articulate that in a polite way.
But hopefully, like for me, I had to learn, like

(41:35):
it's better to just shake the hand and take the picture.
You know what I'm saying, Because it's like, when you
share what's really going on with you, you realize people don't.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
Care when they say how are you?

Speaker 2 (41:46):
They don't Actually they would rather you not tell them
the other side of it. Yeah, you know what I mean,
because then you might start sparking things on them and
they're just barely holding on to their positivity in that
moment kind of thing. You might send them.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Spiraling down and you want to not ask you got to.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
For when someone's drowning, you know what I mean, that
they don't pull you down with them kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
So what are other lessons that are important to you
to teach your daughters?

Speaker 2 (42:09):
Do you think is the throat chop is a good one?
Just a quick.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
Don't play with him, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (42:17):
Just get away, you just look ways to get away.
But also just like try to be aware when people
might be hustling them, whether that's people or games, because
a lot of them games when the paywalls, you know
what I'm saying. I'm like, oh, this is a hustle.
You don't see that the actual games.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
Yeah, like bro like on their phone iPads, iPads and phones, you.

Speaker 2 (42:40):
Know, and like I just want them to be aware
of the world behind the glossy you know, tech that's
in their hand, like the world that makes that and
the purpose of and like it is to make money.
Which is fine, but like don't let it like take
advantage of you if possible thing and like just get

(43:01):
swallowed in that it be the end all, be all.
If your phone ain't charge, yeah, come on, you know
what I'm saying, see the bigger picture. But also like
be very like street smart if they can be, and
they are, like growing up in New York, you know,
they're very like aware of a lot and like culturally
aware of how the diverse the world kind of is.
And that's all great, Okay.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
Do you want them to look at you as a friend?
Is that important to you?

Speaker 2 (43:25):
I want them to look at as No, I'm their father,
you know what I'm saying. So like I want them
to love me and like we have friendly times of course,
but I am not their little buddy, you know what
I'm saying, and play with like that. Like I had
to tell Georgia not to call me bro. You know
what I'm saying. It's like we're not No, that's not

(43:46):
the dynamic right now, you know what I'm saying. When
you're older, yes, but like while I'm providing and protecting
and teaching and this that and the other, like there
needs to be respect and like I don't know, like
if you call other adults bro, but if that's the case,
like that shouldn't be the case, you know what I mean,
Like you should respect you el just this and the
other you know what I mean, Just to try to

(44:06):
like set that in because it's not about how she
talks to me. It's how she goes out into the
world and is able to survive in the world. You
know what I'm saying, Like there's like I worry I
can't even imagine, like how your mom is about having
you in the world. You know what I'm saying, Like
as an adult out here on a daily like it's
got to be stressful. And I had dinner with one
of my buddies the other day that was like a

(44:27):
writer on the show from when we were kids, and
he's got his kids and they grown up and they drive.
He was like, they're driving, man, it's like the last step.
Once they drive.

Speaker 1 (44:35):
They're just I can out in the world and you
just worry only imagine. I can only imagine you can
just try to give.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
Them those tools of respect to like survive with when
I'm not able to be there to protect them kind
of thing. And I think your manners are one of
those things that can do.

Speaker 1 (44:51):
That right right to Georgia and Gianna. Is there something
that you want to impart to them specifically that's straight
from your dad that you're like, I put that in
my pocket and I want to give it to these
these girls of mine.

Speaker 2 (45:07):
Yeah, but I think it's subtly in their sense of humor,
you know what I mean. Like I see the things
that they laugh at, and it's like silly. And I
think our sense of humor on the silly side definitely
comes from my dad, Like my mom's. She has her
sense of humor too, it's sharper and a little more
like tabooish, but like, yeah, yeah, but my father's just

(45:32):
like silly. So like his silly was shaped by the
black perspective growing up, you know, through the sixties seventies,
you know what I'm saying, and like being very black,
so was mine growing up in Atlanta through the eighties
and nineties, you know what I mean, and then carrying
all of like what I've seen from the age of
television whoever was funny perspective, as you know, on the

(45:55):
black side of things, but also being hyper intrigued by
in living colors and the Carries and like you know,
the George Carlins On you know, a much more like
broader cultural like comedic silliness kind of thing. Three Amigo's
you know what I'm saying, Like I felt like my
dad was much more like pro black, Yeah, and then
I was exposed to like a lot more stuff with

(46:16):
just HBO coming out, you know what I'm saying, and
being able to watch Spies like Us, you know on
a regular basis, or Ghostbusters which is like majority white,
you know what I'm saying, and then like Cheech and
Chong and like learning about you know, Mexicans at all
kind of yeah, and you know, not a lot of
Spanish people in Georgia at that time, you know what
I'm saying, So like he's getting all those perspectives kind

(46:37):
of like from television. And then my girls are growing
up in like current day in New York City, you
know what i mean, So like their perspective is broader,
and the things that they're aware of is much broader.
But what they do end up laughing at is usually
the silly part of those things, which is which is fun.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Yeah, did you feel like you could confide in your
dad's like about emotional things.

Speaker 2 (47:02):
Yeah, okay, absolutely, And a lot of the time he
would like refer to a verse that he'd come across,
or he would he would know what what verse kind
of like because you know, it's prolific with the Bible.
He read it a few times or something like that,
so he's like usually had a story to tell about it,
or a life lesson from something that his father had

(47:24):
told him or his stepfather had told him, you know
what I mean. So it was usually some life wisdom
or you know, a Bible reference or something like that
that he could always kind of refer to to help,
you know, an emotional conversation. But at the same time,
when the birds and the bees talk, was him handing
me a pack of condoms and being like, there's the

(47:44):
instructions in there.

Speaker 1 (47:46):
The reason he didn't want to he didn't want to
have that conversation.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
Yeah, he just was like he would always just tell
I guess it was just like he assumed I knew
what to do.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
He would always just like talk about you know, like
girls and jokes and like just overhear his conversations with
like my brother whatever when he was older and kind
of thing. Yeah, and like movies, would like refer to
things or whatever kind of thing. So he just assumed
that I.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
Just like little tippets here and there. I don't need
to have a conversation.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
Like I remember really like reading the instructions, like how
does his work?

Speaker 1 (48:18):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (48:20):
Yeah, and the pictures me and gross.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
I was gonna sit then in my mind, I'm like YouTube,
But I'm like YouTube wasn't that. YouTube wasn't around that?
Even then, you don't really want to be on YouTube?
You do you want to be on YouTube? I go back, Yeah,
I don't mean to age you. You look a baby face.
Baby face, he doesn't.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
I'm also kind of glad that it was a little slower,
like if I would have saw it all out in YouTube,
but it might have been too shocking.

Speaker 1 (48:45):
Mm hmm. You said that you want the girls to
see you as their father, know you're their father? First?
Do you want them to be able to talk to
you about anything?

Speaker 2 (48:54):
Do they want I want that?

Speaker 1 (48:56):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (48:56):
Yeah? And then like if I need to get an
expert on it, then I will. I would be like
talk to your mom, you know what I mean kind
of thing, but like, yeah, I want them to see
me as their friend too. But at the same time,
like you know, it's deeper than that, you know, for now,
basically because you know, it's my responsibility to to raise them.
You know what I'm saying, They're they're being raised. If
they were already raised in yet we could be friends

(49:18):
and that you know, Belichick Kischen has grown dog in
the mouth. That sh it's weird, you know what I'm saying.
I just want to know what my perspectives are.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
That's why I'm saying. Keenan's all know it. I just
saw that because someone referenced there or something like Google.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
You will always see your babies as babies kind of thing.
But like you have to understand like how society sees
these things as well. And it's like easy for you
to just be like, that's just my family, you know
what I'm saying. Whatever, Like y'all can judge however, blah
blah blah, but it's for the rest of us. It
kind of feels a little weird. And it's nice that
they're that close. That's a beautiful like it's a beautiful

(49:55):
thing relationship, I mean, but like that's not the point, right,
you know what I mean is how it is looked
at and proceive. And you can ignore a perception because
like you don't have to deal with it necessarily, but
it is there, so you can't necessarily deny it. Okay,
you know what I'm.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
Saying, and that's what you're saying. But do you is
there any party that goes okay, I respect it if
they're like, we know how this again, we can't ignore perception.
We know how it's going to be perceived. And yes,
we know it's there, and this is an conscious choice
to be like this is what we do.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
Still, yeah, and like, as long as it's understood that
it is what it is. But if there's any sort
of an awakening to it being awkward or anything like that,
then I feel like you're doing more harm than good
by just continuing to just ignore societal norms.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
Fair enough, Okay, Okay, keenan. Each episode, I'm asking my
dad for the day for a piece of advice. I
need advice from you.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
Come on with it, Okay. We have these advice conversations
a lot we do in real life.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
In real life, so if I'm in a relationship, what
are like, it's always hard to like navigate, Like, Okay,
this is a big problem you have to get cut
off or this is just like a human flaw and
I have to get and I can work with I
could changee I could save to my sort of God,
not me. I cannot save you. I cannot change you.
I'm not going to try to any way. No, I'm

(51:24):
not going to do. So what would you say is
something that is like grounds for immediately you need to
step away from this man, barring like putting his hands
on me or bar like you know, the very obvious things.
What would you say that where to draw a line
with a guy?

Speaker 2 (51:38):
I mean, it's it's it's tough because none of us
are perfect, you know what I'm saying. So like any
warning sign I would give you, I probably have done myself,
you know what I'm saying. But at the same time,
a lot of people deserve grace, a lot of people
deserve an attempt at understanding or anything like that. But
like usually like hyper temper situations or like zero to

(52:01):
one hundreds, you know what I mean, kind of like
dynamic demeanor shifts if you will, you know what I'm saying,
Like any type that you're not dealing with, just a constant,
you know what I'm saying. You're dealing with a fluctuation,
and like that's not a good thing to be able
to invest in, you know what I'm saying. Like you're

(52:21):
investing in your future in all of your time spent
with anything, you know what I'm saying. So it's like
when you invest in things and shit is highly fluctuate,
it's not usually an event an investment you tend to
want to target. Okay, So just like just keep it
on like that kind of level. But like you know
what you want, you know what you're attracted to, and

(52:43):
you know what you'll like tolerate basically, And if any
one of those things is pulling the rubber band a
little too far, I think you naturally feeling. And you're
also just like either trying to bandage it for the
sake of something, you know what I'm saying, or you
don't really know how to, Or you don't want to
just completely like cut a person off just out of

(53:06):
being a good person, you know what I'm saying. You
don't want to see them just flopping around or just
leaving a person, you know behind any kind of that,
which is a good characteristic, you know, for a person
to have. But this is your life, you know what
I mean, And this is your bank, So people aren't
contributing to the bank, right, Oh, it'll be rough for

(53:28):
you to continue to participate in my life kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
Okay, you have to be contributing to the bank in
a real way, and it doesn't mean you are.

Speaker 2 (53:37):
You're contributing to theirs, you know what I'm saying. It's
like any sort of like thing that rubs you wrong,
it's probably rubbing you wrong for a reason, you know
what I'm saying. And like, however you react to that
in the moment, whether you cut it off or you
want to witness more examples of that, well you put
it that way, you want to witness more you kind

(54:00):
of know, like oh no, thanks.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
Kind of thing, you know what I mean? You can
honor that.

Speaker 2 (54:04):
It's hard. I feel like probably dating in a ginormous
city of people that are like focused on excelling, because
when you focus on excelling, you don't usually bring your
true self along in the beginning. You kind of introduce
most of those things to people later because it's like, oh,
if they saw me how I really am, what they
still love me kind of thing or whatever. So there's

(54:27):
a lot of discovery. I think in things that you
wouldn't normally put up later on down the road, kind
of thing that you don't necessarily see if you just
like in Atlanta, you know what I'm saying, Like in Atlanta,
you can't really hide just aroundings like that. Like if
you take someone home, they're going to see how you're
really living, like pretty quickly, like whether you're living in
a house or an apartment or you know, a nice

(54:47):
version of either kind of thing. You know, you can
kind of really tell what's going on with that person
as far as like at least financially what's happening, and
you can make your decisions on that kind of thing.
It's like you see them living in like whatever kind
of party, you're like, oh, you're not doing as well
as you may have seen. And I don't know if
that's necessarily someone that am looking for right now that's
not as prepared for life as I am. And you know,

(55:10):
I mean, like all those things you can kind of
like see upfront. I don't know, man, It's it's tough
like trying to say, like hopefully you can weed all
that shit out quickly if you can, But I don't
really know if you can, you know what I mean,
you really have to start just spending time with people
and like, you know, spend.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
As much time and then time take time.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
You kind of have to if you're going to find
someone that you want to like, Like now you're spending
time keeping up with each other on text, or now
you're spending time, yeah, making a plan to see each other,
and like as it builds and bills and bills, you
know what I'm saying. So while it's building, you know,
hopefully you can keep checking in with each other as

(55:50):
far as like if you're checking each other's boxes continuously,
or if there's been some sort of hey, I don't
like this kind of thing. Is that how you really are?

Speaker 1 (55:58):
Or if you notice some shit you might not even
have to ask if that's how you really are? I
think even that that's sticky. I'm like, I'm just you
gotta believe when people show you who they are, you
gotta believe.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
Them that that's them.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
You don't have to have an interview about it. You
don't have to. I believe you. I just believe you.
I believe you. On site, that's what we're doing there.
You go for the rest of it, for the rest
of you. Attorney for on site Keenan, Thank you so
so much. Is there anything you want to plug before
you go?

Speaker 2 (56:24):
My pleasure just getting out here on a side effort.
I like that, you know, having dads in the conversation.
That's big, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (56:36):
Really, I love to hear from you all. It's really
beautiful to to have these conversations, and it's really enlightening.

Speaker 2 (56:41):
I think we're one of those societal groups. It's like us,
you want you want to talk.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
To talking to you. I'm so curious. But thank you
so much. Appreciate you of course.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
Thanks.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
Dad is a head gun podcast created and hosted by
me Ago Wodham. The show is produced and edited by
Anita Flores and engineered by Anita Flores and Anya Kanevskaya,
with executive producer Emma Foley. Katie Moose is our VP
of Content at Headgum. Thanks to Jason Mathany for our
show art and Faris Monschy for our theme song. For
more podcasts by Headgum, visit headgum dot com or wherever

(57:16):
you listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review
on Apple Podcasts and maybe, just maybe we'll read it
on a future episode that was a hit.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
Gum Podcast