Matt Walsh

Matt Walsh joins Ego as her dad for the day as they talk being a middle child in a big family, improv as a confidence booster, learning to say "I love you", and reasoning with teenagers. Ego also asks Matt whether or not she should get more tattoos.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is a headgun podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
I don't know that we've ever unpacked the ball.

Speaker 3 (00:13):
I spent four years in Baltimore, but deep.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Right, yes, how did you like it? We haven't unpacked it.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
I really liked it.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
We of course stayed in Fell's Point and so that
was sort of our home base.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
But I got out a lot.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
I saw a lot of museums, like the Industrial Museum,
all the Civil War battle sites.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Okay, here, did you go to the aquarium because that's
kind of the okay, right, that's key when I think
of downtown Baltimore.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
When I had my kids up, we brought the kids
out there, which probably relates to your show.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Maybe the first season.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
We had three kids and they were under five, and
so gosh, I know, and it was like December. I'm
like I convinced Morgan. I'm like, oh, maybe it'll be fun.
We'll have Baltimore Christmas. And so she packed everyone up
when we were staying it like a homewood suite's and
it was really really rough to uh oh spend. She

(01:08):
was like, I'm out, there's nothing here I need. I'm gone.
So she gave it like two weeks. We did it
like three weeks. But we put them in like a
Presbyterian preschool and they got to do a Christmas play.
So there was some fun. And we went to Santa
by the Water, which was a whole other hilarious.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
I'm sure I love my hometown, but if you're not
from there, I am like, how do you like it?

Speaker 2 (01:33):
I do like it? No, I'm not. I'm not kicking Baltimore.
I really enjoyed it.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
And we went to the Charles Theater all the time,
and we ate. We ate out in Hamden and we
saw the lights around Christmas and the toilet races.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Ah yeah, okay, well did you know that? Wait a minute,
toilet races.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Toilet races in Hamden Every fall they have some street
fest and the highlight of it is people create go
carts where there has to be a toilet on it
and they have to ride the toilet down a hill
really and they kind of they deck them out like
burning man cars and they wipe out.

Speaker 2 (02:07):
It's pretty fun.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Okay, that is incredible. I've never heard of this because
so I moved. I left Baltimore when I was eighteen
to go to college and I went to college in
la and then I stayed and so I never got
to experience the fullness. When you're like a kid, you're
obviously at the mercy of your parents and where they
want to take you and show you and what they
want you to do. So like I saw a lot
of plays at the Arena Players Theater, and I saw

(02:30):
I went to the aquarium. We enjoyed the Harbor from
time to time. But I'm from Baltimore County, so that
was like a we're going on a field trip type
of thing, and so I didn't really even people talk
to me about Baltimore. Now I'm like, oh man, I
don't really know it the way I would if I
had been in my early twenties.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
There.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, we did. We actually did the Dolphin. That was
another high.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
We did the Dolphin Show like four times with the kids.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
So it is really cool.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
Sit in the splash zone, It's great.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
So cool. It's so cool. And then wait, you said
when you said about Baltimore's rund me. Last night, I
had a caviar nugget from Cocadac, which is a restaurant
in New York City that sells fried chicken, but they
do fancy things like sell what they call a golden
nugget and has caviar on it, and it is, in
fact forty dollars a nugget. But I've done that. And

(03:18):
last night someone said to me, there's a place in Baltimore.
I think it's Bunnies, and it's a play on Playboy Bunnies,
and they also have a caviar nugget. But Baltimore is
up and it's it's doing its thing and it's very
much a special city.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
So yeah, yeah, and we had a we would have
a big crab boil or crab crack every year.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Oh yes.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
I hosted it for the cast one year in my
apartment and then Tim hosted it and we would just get,
you know, a bushel of crab and get hammered, and well.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
It's the it's honestly. I still I still order crab
meat from Maryland, like as recently as like five days ago,
ordered some crab meat from Maryland, made myself some crab
cakes because I love crab without the work. But do
not be mistaken, I will do the work I.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
Like because I think it reminds you like to slow down.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Oh yeah, that's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
You know. It kind of like takes a little like
peel and shrimp. I like the idea of like working
a little bit.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
Yeah see, I like that's it.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Keeps me from being morbidly obese because.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
You go because also you realize you're full before you know.
They say, like you're supposed to. I think you're supposed
to drink, eat really slowly, and maybe drink while you eat,
because then you get fuller faster you realize you're full.
But if you I'm a person who like powers through
my meals, can barely taste them, and then I know,
and you're shaking your head in disapproval, and.

Speaker 3 (04:34):
Only only because you're you seem like you're skinny. Still,
I'm sure you're skinny.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
I'm I think I'm pretty slim. But I also it's like,
what am I What do my insides look like? You know?
That's what I'm really concerned. Like caviar ug They look
like caviar. All my arter is clogged by caviar. I mean,
if you are gonna die by a heart attack, I
guess having arteries that are clogged by caviard that great.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
That'd be a great obituary.

Speaker 3 (04:58):
She died from cavi our nugget abuse.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
I mean that would be And you know, good for her.
She really lived though, Yeah, she lived.

Speaker 3 (05:07):
It's kind of a good legend, Like, oh my god,
that's that's like Elvis eating fried peanut butter sandwiches.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
Yes, which is, by the way, the fried things are you?
Do you care about food at all?

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Like, what's your Are you kidding me?

Speaker 3 (05:17):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (05:17):
You care? Oh my goodness, it's my whole personality.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Please let's go.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
Wait, so the fried foods. And I'm saying wait because
in my mind you have all the answers because you're
my dad for the day. Like, I'm like, so, Dad,
explain to me that.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
My premise is that the premise of the show.

Speaker 1 (05:31):
None of my like I would say, at least fifty
percent of my dad's for the day don't know what
the premise of the show is. But because they heard
I was going to be their daughter, they were like,
I like that idea. The premise of the show is,
you know what better? Yet, I should do my intro now,
and I always do it backwards like this, and you'll
hear everything and if you have questions after, I'll answer everything. Hi, guys,

(05:54):
I may go odem and welcome to thanks Dad. I
was raised by a single mom, and don't have a
relationship with my dad. So on this podcast, I'm sitting
down with father figures who are old enough to be
my dad. Hi, Matt, or are just dads themselves. I
wanted you to be offended that I said you were
old enough to be my dad, because some people take
the bait.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
How old are you?

Speaker 1 (06:13):
I don't want to say it's Hollywood?

Speaker 2 (06:14):
Oh my god, Really, I'm kidding.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
No, I'm thirty six.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
I'm kidding, I'm thirty six. I'm really I'm not a
Hollywood thirty six. You would have guessed I'm thirty six.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
No, you look great, you look perfect. You don't look
anything like thirty six.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
Okay, all right, okay Jesus, Now I'm in trouble.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Now you're in trouble. There's traps all over the place here.
So on this podcast, I'm going to get to ask
questions I've always wanted to ask a dad, like how
do I know if the guy I'm dating is right
for me? Or what should I look out for when
buying a car? Or do you know how to teach me?
Or can you teach me how to fix my tire?
Should my car break down on the side of the

(06:53):
road and it's late at night and there's no street
lights and I have no cell service, but there's a
spare tire in my trunk and I need to change
mine because now I have a flat? Could you do that? Matt?
N't you be able to teach.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
The hire part?

Speaker 3 (07:06):
I would say with projects like that, like changing a tire,
start with the premise that, like very impward. Okay, half
the people in the world can do this, and you're
probably smarter than half the people in the world.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
This is such sound advice. A few of my dads
have said this, at least one of my dads for
the day, I've said this, the notion that like, hey,
dumb people have done a thing you can too. I've
said that. There have been multiple times in my life
where I feel like something's really challenging me. Someone was
showing me like renderings today and I was like, I'm sorry,

(07:40):
I'm really having a trouble processing it and I'm feeling
really stupid. But I also know stupid people that you
show this too also they can figure it out. But
is calling people stupid like calling people ugly. I just
had a moment where I go, is that what that's like?

Speaker 3 (07:55):
Well, I phrase it as you're smarter than half the people.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
I said. Okay, okay, okay, I want to erase everything
about calling people stupid. Nobody's stupid, nobody's ugly, but I
am smarter than half.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
Well, it's based on the premise because a coach told
me this in high school about something I was auditioning
for something or trying out. He's like, just your average, right,
You're going to be better than half the people who
who go out for this thing.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
This is a mathematical thing. Okay. I respect that, and
that makes perfect sense, but it's good. I also feel
like anybody truly can go. I'm smarter than at least
one of the people who have figured this thing out.
Not for everything in life, but for a lot of things.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Okay, I'm going to give you another caviar nugget, Give.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
Me another caviar nugget.

Speaker 3 (08:37):
I love this for auditioning, Just say why not me?

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Mm?

Speaker 3 (08:44):
Okay, okay, because sometimes we get intimidated, like oh, Tom
Cruise is going to get this, or so and so
is going to get this, or they're looking for a
big name. But it invites you to go. But yeah,
but I'm good enough, So why not me?

Speaker 1 (08:58):
Mm, such a good question, that is it? It is?
But you know what's also interesting is that I remember
days when I was really trying to pursue a career
in acting and it was not feeling like it was
going well or going anywhere. And on the days when
it really hit me and I was really frustrated, I'd
be like, why not me? And I could actually answer that,

(09:18):
and the why not is like, because I'm not Tom Cruise,
oh and because I.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
Keep saying it, just keep saying it.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
Okay, go through the list. It's almost like that thing
that's a way to like process anxiety where you go, okay,
what's your anxiety? You name the anxiety and go okay,
and if that happens, then what and you keep going
then what and then what and then what? So okay,
so I go why not me? Until I exhaust myself
and I'm sort of like, all right, either I'm tired
of asking the question and I'm going to go for it,
or I've reached the end of the rope on my answer.

Speaker 3 (09:47):
Imagine yourself walking in the room and going, guys, come on,
why not me?

Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Yeah, that's that's the intention.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
First of all, back to him, personal auditions. But I
would love to walk in a room and actually say
that out loud. He guy, any questions, The only question
I have is why not me? You know, because the
casting director is gonna.

Speaker 3 (10:04):
Ask you, but put the emphasis on, not like, why
not me?

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Why not me?

Speaker 3 (10:09):
Come on?

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah? And then arms up. You gotta do the arms
up really be cool? Arms up? Yeah, that robotic arms Okay,
now I need to do your intro. I've meandered. It's
what I do, Matt. I'm a meanderer.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
It's fine.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
And then my engineers do an amazing job of helping
me and piecing everything together. But guys, you know my
next guest from Veep, The Hangover, Bad Santa, and most
recently Apple TV's Manhunt. He is a founding member of
the Upright Citizens Brigade. I smile so big at that.
Please welcome my dad for the day, Matt Walsh.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
Hi everyone.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
Hello, everyone, dad heads and dad heads and dadless heads.
Because I'm a dadless head. I am so excited to
have you. Thank you for being here. This is huge
for me.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
I'm excited to connect with you. I haven't seen you
in years.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
It's been a very kind of like my dad my
real Dado.

Speaker 2 (11:06):
Yeah, is this transparence?

Speaker 3 (11:08):
Is this what they call transference in the psyche game?

Speaker 1 (11:11):
Yes, I think so. I think that's what the phenomenon
is called phenomenon. See, I'm nervous. I'm seeing my dad
for the first time today. You oh no, no, you
leaned in. You were like, juicy, you're gonna see your dad, Matt,
I have something terrible to tell you. My dad died
last summer, in addition to not having a relationship with him,
and he died last summer. But it's not sad, and

(11:33):
I'm not doing a thing that I think comedy people
are known to do or accused of doing, which is
being like, it's not sad, but I'm actually really in
deep pain. I'm not in deep pain. I actually have
found that lots of people don't have relationship with their dads.
Mine was to some extent by choice, and so it's
you know, it's actually okay, it's okay. So I don't

(11:54):
want you to worry about me.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
But I'm not worried about you. Thank you for saying that.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
Okay, just in case, you know, because you seem sweet
and endearing and tether.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
I have friends with no relationship with their dads, and
they're great people and they're very happy, and they're happy.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
Right, it's possible. I feel like movies and TV shows
have suggested. Part of my desire to do this was
to one start conversation. I love the conversation around it,
but also to go and here's another side. You know,
sometimes people are totally fine to not have a relationship
with their dad and he doesn't have to knock on
the door of your suburban home twenty years later with

(12:30):
his bags and go I'm really sorry. And then we
cut to he's in the house. After the commercial break,
cut to he's in the house. We're having a conversation.
It's fraud. You know, you've seen the scenes.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
Who's playing that dad in your lifetime movie?

Speaker 1 (12:43):
By the way, that dad, if he would so have me,
I'm going to pick Denzel Washington.

Speaker 3 (12:48):
Oh my god, he's old enough to be your dad.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
He's old enough to be my dad. I would pick
Denzel if I could have. But he did recently say
there aren't many roles that he is interested in playing
any more my dad in a film. Maybe right, maybe
you think I could convince him, maybe, because why not?
You does that? But Matt Okay, I'm so excited to
have you because, first of all, the upright citizens brigade

(13:13):
of it all, and two I haven't seen you in
a very long time. UCB changed my life. When you
mentioned Charles Theater earlier. I think my brain short circuited
because I was like, oh, I am doing an improv
program with kids in Baltimore, all because I discovered improv
through UCB. So I connected with my high school teacher

(13:34):
and he has kids now, which is crazy to me.
I'm like, when did you have children? But anyway, he
has kids now, and he and I are adding essentially
improv to Baltimore City School's curriculum a little bit over time. Yeah,
I'm so excited. And so we got BIG involved, which
is Baltimore Improv Group. Two weeks ago, I was in
Baltimore and we conducted a bunch of workshops with kids
and teachers. It was really cool. And Big is down

(13:58):
the street from Charles Theater. So Michelle from Big and
Emily from Big did these workshops with me. This is
all very inside baseball, but anyway, people educate yourselves. But
Michelle kept mentioning to each school. We went to a
shoe to go. You guys know Charles Theater, right, Okay,
well we're a couple of doors down from Charles the
Baltimore in Prov group. Anyway, Matt, you don't even know
you've changed my life, but now I'm telling you you

(14:19):
changed my life. Improv literally changed my life. And that's
how I decided to take it to Baltimore. And I
said that exact sentence to my high school teacher and
then he started taking an improv class and he involved
Baltimore in CroV group because he started taking a class
there because he said, that's so strange you think improv
changed your life? And then he got curious and then
he's like, I get it, and now let's put it
in schools. So cool.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
That's awesome. Yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Yes, thank you. I actually told you that whole thing
just so you would give me praise. No no, no, no,
no no, but thank you. I am very very excited
to get to do that. And so I get to
also say thank you to you and uc B being
the space where I got to come up was really
really cool and special to me, and those people are
still my cond.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
You've done some classes with the kids.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Yes, I've done workshops. So last summer when the strike
hit is when I was like, I should try this,
and then this summer we did some as well.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
So is it fun?

Speaker 1 (15:11):
It's so fun and seeing them come out of their shelves.
It's such a vulnerable thing to do improv to begin with,
but then also to be like, I'm not a performer
and I'm a kid and I'm going to do this
in front of my peers is his own other thing.
But they're amazing and it's been really cool to see
teachers get excited about it too, which is what we
kind of our mission the last two weeks was two
weeks ago, was to do. So I just want to

(15:32):
thank you first before we get into dad stuff. You
have a dad, though I believe he is not living.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
But I had a dad.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
Okay, you had a dad. I have a dad. Yeah,
I guess it's you had a dad. Would you say
you don't have a dad anymore?

Speaker 2 (15:58):
I guess.

Speaker 3 (15:59):
Asked me the question, you have a dad?

Speaker 1 (16:03):
Question?

Speaker 3 (16:03):
Mark, I don't have a dad. My dad died ten
years ago.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
Man a mom I have if my mom passed, I
have a mom. I had a mom. Man, Yeah, I
don't know how you do that. But that's your answer.
You had a dad. He passed ten years ago. Where
did you guys live when you were growing up?

Speaker 2 (16:18):
Oh, Chicago, the city proper.

Speaker 3 (16:21):
And then when I was like twelve, we moved to
the burbs, okay, And so yeah, Chicago, Chicago Land okay.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
Was he very supportive of your artistic endeavors and like
your pursuit was comedy?

Speaker 3 (16:33):
He was. I was blessed with encouragement. I was one
of seven kids. I was the middle child, and my
dad was like maybe a frustrated actor. He was a
ham lovely. If there was ever a microphone, it's like,
oh no, please, Dad. He was that guy. And he
was also the guy that would like tell you a
joke and start laughing before the punchline, which I always

(16:55):
found really endearing.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
Right, That to me was the best part of the joke.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
Right.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
So he was that guy, and he would bring When
I first started, like yourself, I thought these shows I
was doing were good, and then in retrospect, I'm like,
oh my god, they're terrible. And he would bring neighbors down.
He would do field trips to come see a show.
He was very supportive, very supportive.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
That's incredible, increable, and so being the middle child, I
feel like the trope there is that you guys feel
ignored or sort of like you could be there and
not be there and no one would really notice. Did
you feel that growing up as a middle child or
was that not your experience?

Speaker 3 (17:37):
I think so. I think the trope holds true. I
think it's about carving out real estate for your personality,
is how I would describe it.

Speaker 2 (17:45):
I had an older brother who knew what.

Speaker 3 (17:46):
He wanted to do. He loved airplanes, became a pilot
at sixteen, ended up flying the Triple seven for United.

Speaker 2 (17:54):
He was always that guy.

Speaker 3 (17:55):
So when we shared a room, he had the whole
room with model play lanes and posters and things like that,
and he was like literally encroaching on my part of
the room. Yeah, my mom reminded me I had complained
to He was like, his planes are ever, I don't
get any space. And I started, in reaction to that,
I started cutting out pictures of cars, like I thought, Oh,

(18:16):
I'll be the car guy.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
Yeah, I want We're going to be on the ground, okay.

Speaker 3 (18:20):
And then and I would build models and so I'm like, oh,
this is how I carve out my space, but eventually
I carved out sort of the artistic clown comedy personality
if you will.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
Yeah, do you think you would have done that? And
that would have been the case that you, you know,
pursued comedy the arts if you didn't feel like your
space was being encroached on in that way by your brother.

Speaker 3 (18:46):
It shaped my personality. I think, like one theory is
perhaps in life, like you find something you're passionate about
and then you try to find a way to make
a living, like that's one of the things we do
as human beings, certainly in a capitalist culture. And so
it helped me know what I didn't want to do.
I felt like everything was very loving and wonderful, but

(19:09):
very middle class and sort of stayed and not safe.
Sounds pretentious, but whatever, And I was always like interested
in what else is there like getting out of this?
And so I discovered one way of making my older
three older brothers, making my older brothers laugh so they
wouldn't perhaps beat up on me. Yeah, I had a

(19:30):
talent for that. I was willing to do really dumb
stuff and fall down or whatever. Yeah, And then that
became a way of identifying perhaps and this is all
my bogus psychology, by the way, but perhaps yeah you
can pokeols, yeah, you know. And then in seventh grade
I was sort of the funny guy, and I think

(19:50):
that gave me confidence with girls because I could make
girls laugh maybe or at least yeah, it does, and I, uh,
because I wasn't going to be like the dominant athlete
and I you know, and then I was a crack
up with my friends and that gave me some self esteem.
And then the downside of that is it wasn't channeled
like I wasn't courageous enough to like go after theater

(20:13):
and take theater classes in high school and perform because
it wasn't like, oh, that's not really cool or what.
I don't know what my judgment was, but eventually I
found my way into some acting. Once I got into
like the last year of high school, we got to
do a variety show that my friends recruited me for
and that was basically like Saturday Live. We got to

(20:36):
write sketches and perform them. And then, as you know,
as a performer, the power of that to like create
material then get that reception from an audience is like magic.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
Yeah, that feedback feels it's there's nothing like it. It's
like drugs. And then in.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
Addition to that, it's the status. Afterwards, people go, you
were so funny in the riot you show, and it's like, oh,
all that enforcement perhaps encouraged me to continue. And I
don't know if it narrowed my personality to pursue the arts,
but it certainly kept me going.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
Yeah, you say your dad was really supportive, but it
also you didn't want to take theater necessarily in high
school because it's like, that's not the cool thing to do.
Did you ever have a conversations with him about finding
your way or your path in those early years?

Speaker 2 (21:22):
I don't think so.

Speaker 3 (21:23):
I think the encouragement was in small doses because there
were seven of us and he was running a business
and he was working all day and yeah, probably getting
drinks with other salesmen at night. Yeah, it wasn't There
wasn't a lot of face time, but it was there.
You know, the love was there. Sure, So the cultivation

(21:45):
of my pursuit was sort of on my own. Okay,
I think.

Speaker 1 (21:49):
Okay, when you say the love was there, can you
elaborate a little more what you mean by that? I
think I know what you mean, but what did it
look like for you and what made you feel like,
I know it's there.

Speaker 3 (21:58):
I think love as received by me was you know, traditions,
celebrating my birthdays, family vacations, holidays. He was big on church.
He was Catholic. So I think his way of like
teaching me about the world is saying, like it's all
in that room. Go in there and listen to the

(22:20):
Bible and sing. And he would never administer his view
of the world, but he's like, that's it. If you
do that, you're a good kid, you know. And so
I think that symbolically was something he enjoyed. So and
I think like he was playful at times when we
had him. You know, he was billy. He could be

(22:42):
silly and funny. So yeah, that's my interpretation of how
I knew I was loved and encouraging, like he would
brag about you to his friends, you know, if he
did something funny or cool or I used to always
have jobs since I was in like fifth grade, I
had a paper route and yeah, I saved up five

(23:03):
hundred dollars in like I was. We lived near a
golf course. When we moved to the suburbs, yeah, and
I would shag balls from the weeds. Yeah, tell them
to golfers. And I saved up like five hundred and
six hundred dollars and I bought a certificate a deposit
that would accrue interest.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
And he would brag about these like this kid just
you know.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
So yeah, those are signs of like feeling special and
being seen.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Right right now. We're working since you were five.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Years old though fifth grade?

Speaker 1 (23:35):
Yeah maybe you said fifth grade and my brain said
five and said five years old. Okay, so working since
you were in fifth grade. That's a unique experience to
be like in fifth grade, I want to be working.
I want to be making my own money. Where do
you think that came from?

Speaker 3 (23:47):
We sort of functioned like an agrarian farm family. We
would all have jobs and then whatever money we made,
we would keep half and then kick half of it
upstairs to the family, to the dad, to dad and mom. Wait,
no way, yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:01):
You're big serious, that's serious. So wait what would they
do with your half?

Speaker 3 (24:05):
They would pay bills, they would buy our clothes, they
would take care of keep the lights on. It was
a sense of communal We're in this together. It was
almost like the family is the business and so you
all you're not gonna freeload, You're gonna contribute, and you're
also gonna go to school and do sports. But like
I had bus boy jobs, I had I set up

(24:28):
chairs at the church on the weekend, I washed dishes
and you know, just pick up and hustling jobs. And
it was kind of like I guess we probably never
had allowance like a lot like you want money, you're
gonna do something for it.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
You're gonna go get a job or find a way
to make money.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
Wow, did you like that when you're growing up? Is
it just a sort of thing where it's.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
Like I lend it?

Speaker 3 (24:47):
Yeah, I loved it. I thought it was so cool
and I took great pride in like kicking money upstairs
to the to the top that it just made me
feel like an adult and like whatever. Like and sometimes
like if I made eighteen dollars in a paper out,
he would just say give me five, you know what
I mean. It wasn't like it wasn't It was more

(25:08):
the sense, the rough sense of you're going to contribute.
We all contribute. We're all in this together, and that's
how we succeed. And to this day, our family is
very tight. There's seven of us and we still all
get along, which is very rare, very rare, very rare,
and mostly props to my mom.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
Like she's not in the dad show.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
But that's okay, we can talk about mom too. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:27):
The reason, the reason, the glue that everything was Mom.
She was everything. Dad was the big fish, right, Okay,
he was a kind of a showman, Yeah, but Mom
was the glue.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
Really So did she instilled like the importance of staying
connected and staying together and really being treating family with
some sanctity? Was that was that her thing? Or do
you think that that's something they both instead?

Speaker 3 (25:52):
What the what's the love language? Where you like, do.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
Acts react service? Acts of service?

Speaker 2 (25:57):
That she's all.

Speaker 3 (25:58):
About acts of service. Like when I was a struggling
comedian like yourself when you landed in La Let's say,
and I was living in Chicago with no money and
doing like moving jobs or painting or whatever. Right, I
would go home to visit the family, and then she
would send me home with like two five pound tubs
of peanut butter and two frozen lasagnas and like you know,

(26:19):
boxes of laundry. And that's that's her in a nutshell
like planning and taking care of you. And I always
tell the story of like Sunday nights, we would all
get together in the kitchen because there were seven kids, yeah,
four boys, three girls, okay, and the boys would always
eat like two sandwiches at lunch. So we would make
like seventy five sandwiches on a Sunday night, assembly line style,

(26:39):
the looney peanut, butter, cheese, and ham. Yeah, luster throw
them in the freezer. So then Monday morning camera, I
just reached in the freezer, grab two sandwiches, throw them
in a bag, Grab an apple.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
Wow, and that's your school lunch. That's incredible. I am
really taking aback. I know that I was like very rare,
very rare, but I'm like, I'm really taking aback by
the notion that you guys are all still really close.
But it does sound like by design and not just
in telling you to operate like a unit and treat
family like it's sacred. But I mean, you worked together.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
And so it was like a positive network. It was
like it was a safety net, but it wasn't like
super lovey dovey. It was kind of like Irish calf,
like a little cold. We weren't like affectionate so much,
but it was there, and it was it was reliable,
and it was steady.

Speaker 1 (27:25):
I resonate so much with I felt like the love
was there for me for sure growing up. But all
in action, not so much articulated, Like I'm not running
out the door to school and my mom's like, have
a great day, I love you. That's not happening. All
my needs are met, and you know, I'm getting to
do hobbies and I'm taken care of and I'm getting

(27:46):
to be playful and supported in my hobbies and those endeavors.
But I'm like, no, no one was saying I love
you then. I wasn't getting kissed on the cheek before
bed and and I love you? Was your dad one
to say I love you?

Speaker 3 (28:01):
Never?

Speaker 1 (28:02):
Okay never.

Speaker 3 (28:03):
There's a towards when he got older or when we
all got older, obviously, but let's just assume time goes
on and we age. Yeah, from that premise.

Speaker 1 (28:14):
From that, we're assuming as much. We're assuming premise. Again,
more improv talk, guys. I hope people are picking.

Speaker 3 (28:20):
Up I told my Yeah, I told my mom I
loved her. I think in high school I was reading
some like Leo Biscalia book or something, and it was never.

Speaker 2 (28:30):
It was there, but it was never named.

Speaker 3 (28:31):
I remember how hard it was to like verbalize it,
but I think I was the first person in the
family to do that.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
Oh my gosh, Matt saying in my nuclear family, I
introduced we're going to start saying I love you. I
think I was like, why do we not? I mean totally,
I feel loved, I feel cared for, I feel supported,
I met with kindness. But is there a reason we're
not just saying it?

Speaker 2 (28:54):
How did you bring that up?

Speaker 1 (28:56):
I think I just said it to someone one day.
I think I said it to my mom. She's not
gonna leave you hanging. I feel like she was maybe
taken aback. And I'm not remembering the exact time and
the exact moment I did it, but I do remember
that I was like a senior in college, maybe a junior.
And I've said this before, but I was listening to
an Big Brother by Kanye West and on Graduation had

(29:18):
just come out that year, that album, and he says,
people will never get the flowers while they can still
smell them. And I don't want to be like, oh,
a song made me change how I operate. But I
did go, yeah, that is strange at a funeral that
it's like, oh my gosh, I'm crying and I loved
this person and they were so but I'm like, tell people, yeah,
tell them that was right around when I but it

(29:38):
was college and I remember being home for the summer
hearing that and I go, yeah, I'm gonna just say it.
And so I don't know how she responded, but I
certainly know she didn't leave me hanging. I'm sure there's
there was probably a level of like what and then
and then you know, reciprocated, but we don't say that
out loud.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
Was it hard for you? Were you nervous when you
dropped it?

Speaker 1 (29:59):
I say a touch nervous, just being like but but
barely like I would say more than anything, it was like,
I want to change course in this in the way
we do this, or operate with saying I love you.
But I think there was a level of like, well,
what's this gonna do? But I'm a little bit like
that Matt too, where I go, what would happen if
I don't know, did this thing and drop it into

(30:21):
this social dynamic. I know we're not the social contract
says we're not supposed to do this, but why speaking
of psychology, but why so? What if I did do that?
How would everyone react? Because there's for me, there also
is a real curiosity around people's reaction to things. So
I was a little nervous, but I think more so
I was like curious, like what would happen? You know,

(30:44):
I was like, I want to change this, and what
would happen. We'll see what happens.

Speaker 3 (30:49):
Yeah, I remember for me, I was I was kind
of scared because I think that sort of emotion or
lovey doveness was very It almost felt like weakness or something.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
Yes, I thought it was weak to cry till I
was nineteen. I remember that that's weak. You don't cry.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah, yeah, too much work, We got too many things
to do.

Speaker 1 (31:08):
Oh exactly, no, no, no, wrap it up, get patch
it up. So when you did say you were the
first one to break it in your family, you did,
how was that received?

Speaker 3 (31:17):
I think my mom got choked up and she was
like I don't even think she looked at me. She
was like, I love you too, and then so slowly
I broke her down. Even now, I can feel like
the challenge.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Of that you know.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
Yeah, do your kids in your nuclear family now you're
with your wife Morgan, your kids, do you guys say
I love you? Is this explicit? Okay, all the yeah,
all the yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:38):
It's not a big deal. It's kind of normal and pedestrian,
and it was never a thing. Morgan's also very more,
much more affectionate and verbal and uh yeah, but so
that a lot of that comes from her too.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
So do you think you like found yourself drawn to
that sort of effusiveness because it was maybe lacking in childhood.
And I'm not trying to like psychologically assess this. I'm
not trying to do that, but I am like, I'm curious.
I go, if in your own estimation.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
I do think I've always been drawn to the other.

Speaker 3 (32:09):
I don't know if that sounds pretentious, but like pursuing
arts or going outside of what I thought was expected.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
And continuing that down the road.

Speaker 3 (32:19):
What I found attractive beyond her physical beauty is her
completely different vibe and background. And so that to me
felt interesting and that made me curious.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
Yes, yeah, Now you said back to your pa, did
you call him dad? By the way, was that his dad?

Speaker 2 (32:37):
I called him dad?

Speaker 3 (32:38):
And so but I started saying it's my mom.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
I don't know that.

Speaker 3 (32:43):
I say it's all my siblings. Now, by the way,
I feel like some of the siblings I don't some
I do.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
Wait, how do you make that distinction? Yeah, tell me
because it's probably probably can sense like this is going
to be too awkward. Is that what? Okay?

Speaker 3 (32:57):
Yeah? Yeah, Like my one sister Annie, she'll never listen
to this. I feel like I'm outing her.

Speaker 1 (33:03):
She's so well, you don't know. Annie could be a
fan of me, for all you freaking know, Matt.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
She might.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
She might be.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
I'm kidding, I'm kidding you please, but Lise.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
Well, she's busy.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
She's just busy. It's no disrespect to you, your value
as an entertainer.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
I am kidding.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
I'm kidding.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
But she doesn't like hugs.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
Even so every time I see her, I make it big,
like I'm going in and like I make a big
hugging her. But she's like someone I probably have never
said I love you, but we were good, like we
could all up great. Yes, but yes, it's a lot
for her and then for my dad. I would say

(33:40):
on phone calls, specifically, I would say I love you
at the end of the call, and he would always
say thank you.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
Okay, which is that feels like the ultimate rejection.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
It wasn't.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
It was.

Speaker 2 (33:55):
I loved it.

Speaker 3 (33:56):
I loved I loved it more than if he would
say I love you, because I knew he heard me okay,
and that's all he could do.

Speaker 2 (34:04):
Yeah, for whatever reason.

Speaker 3 (34:06):
Yeah, And I actually use that. I put that in
a movie I did with Nick Jonas where he says
I love you to me and I play his dad
and I go thank you. Because that's all he was
ready for, that's all he could do, And because it
was so specific to him, it was a million times

(34:26):
more interesting than just saying the standard I love you,
because I knew he didn't need to say. I wasn't
doing it to hear it from him.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
Ah, okay, you know what I mean. Yeah. Absolutely, You're
remarkably evolved in that regard, if I might say so myself,
because I think, I think because it's unique to me.
But being vulnerable is scary, and that's why a lot
of people don't do it. And it's a muscle you
have to sort of build up that, Like, Okay, I
was vulnerable, the vulnerability express was reciprocated and that felt

(34:55):
good and okay, I feel like you do like a
free flaw. Then it's like someone caught you or you're
vulnerable and it's not reciprocated the way you hoped or intended,
and that feels like I was freefalling and someone let
me fall and hit the ground. But in your case,
you're like, I'm expressing this because I want to express this.
How you respond is I don't want to say neither

(35:17):
here nor there because you enjoy the thank you versus
him saying a forest I love you too. But how
you respond is your deal and your prerogative. I'm sharing
a thing with you that I would just like to
share with you, and how you respond is how you respond.
I just I think my initial reaction if I said
I love you to someone and they said thank you,
I'd go oh oh, not out loud inside because I'd

(35:38):
play really cool outside, but I'd be like, oh, my
friend and I do a bit where we do that.
My friend Trevanna and I do a full bit where
either one of us will say I love you and
we both know to go thank you, and we both
laugh and laugh and laugh about it. Maybe on the.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
Maybe on the I don't remember the first one, Like
maybe on the first one I might have been like, oh, okay, yeah,
but then I still did it, and then it became
his thing. Yeah, and it became our thing. I don't know,
but I'm sure on the first one it was like
I probably did feel vulnerable, but I can't remember.

Speaker 1 (36:10):
Yeah. Yeah, And also so many thank yous later, You're like,
this is what dad does, this is what I recall.

Speaker 2 (36:16):
It was almost like I wanted to hear it.

Speaker 1 (36:18):
Yeah, yeah, as long as he says thank you, You're good.
I screamed I love you to my brother when I
was leaving Baltimore a couple of weeks ago. And he's
the oldest, and he's the one I still have not
been able to get to say I love you too.
I've cracked everyone.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
And how many siblings in your family?

Speaker 1 (36:33):
I have three siblings, so I have two older brothers
and an older sister. Okay, And in the Uber I thought,
maybe with an audience, he'll pretend for this uber driver
that he's going to say it back. I go, maybe
I'll get him now, maybe just maybe. And I actively
thought this, I was like, he really might not. I go,
wonder what he does if I do it this way.
Uber drivers here were in Suburbia and I'm about to

(36:57):
take the train back to New York. Haven't seen you
in a while, And I go, love you, I love you,
And he was like you too.

Speaker 2 (37:05):
I probably got a you two from my dad once
in a while too.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
Yeah, you just go Dawn, Okay, that not that either.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
I think that's now you want to get the U too,
Like you should be gunning for the U too, Like, yes,
you don't need you.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
No, you're right, You're right. It's amazing.

Speaker 3 (37:24):
That's an amazing thing to get from your It's huge.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
It is especially I mean, I'm the youngest, and I
do feel like by the time, it's interesting you're the
youngest boy of your siblings, and I feel like by
the time parents get to their youngest, I just find
us to be and not to be like on the
youngest sibling or youngest boy panel here. But I'm like, yeah,
there's something about like carving your own path, and that
also means going, I understand what the temperature here is

(37:49):
in this family. I just wonder what happened if I
moved the thermostat in this direction or that direction. Yeah,
And so it's totally fine. I know my brother loves me,
and you know, if I texted, he'll go diddo. And
then sometimes I won't even because I go somehow, I'm
still gunning. But I'm going to continue a gun for
the U two's because I think was progress. I go, Okay,

(38:10):
we've moved beyond diddo, and now he's expressing two words.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
And then I was thinking too, because so your mom
is a single mom, yes, with four kids. Yes, if
there were two parents, that's like eight children. She's taken
care of me. So that's why there's not a lot
of emotion in big families, like similar backgrounds. There's too
much to get done. Yeah, and there's really not a lot,
especially so she's basically got eight children, but he's only

(38:37):
got four. Yeah, my parents. It's my mom at seven. Yeah,
but she was kind of on her own too. There's
not a lot of time to administer all that touchy
feely stuff.

Speaker 2 (38:48):
There's too much stuff. The workload is just too big.

Speaker 3 (38:50):
Matt.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
I really respect that because as a person who's like
very much enjoying vulnerability and enjoying going to therapy and
having the space to explore all the ways I feel
about the Monday I just had and the interaction I
just had at the coffee shop, and go really deep
on that. I'm like, what a privilege though, because I
have the room in the space to do that. You know,
unpacking emotionally in any way or taking the lid off

(39:14):
of your emotions. It can create a mess. And some
people do not have time to clean that up. They
have practical everyday things that need to get done that
They're like, I don't have the space or the time
that that would require for me to really allow it
to be productive, or.

Speaker 3 (39:29):
The tools like if you do open it up, now,
what do I do with this?

Speaker 1 (39:32):
Yes, So I have total empathy for and I was
one of these people, and then I realized, like, oh,
you do have the time. I goo, You're in a
different position. But like I kind of am operating in
the world this way, and it's sort of working so
far as I know, right because little ignorance is bliss.
I'm a little terrified of what happens if I create
any sort of mess, or we unwrap the package. That's

(39:53):
what I used to say. I was like, if we
unwrap the package, I think about all the tape, all
the wrapping paper, you don't know. If there's a little
like a Styri from Crewton looking things, I'm like, who,
no one has time to clean this up, so let's
have to go to work. But anyway, it's such a privilege.
Now you said your mom was sort of on our
own because there's seven kids. Then your dad, who was
working a lot. He was a salesman of what variety.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
He owned a business that moved having machinery. So it
was like, imagine the New York Times wanted to tear
out their old printing presses, sell them to a factory
in Korea, and then install new ones. He would handle
every bit of that job. Okay, they would get guys
that disassemble it, park created up ship it installed a

(40:36):
new one everything it needs. So he would sell jobs
through factories and then he also ran the company.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
So yeah, did you ever go to work with him?
Was like take your child to work day a thing
with back.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
Then here I did go to work on the weekends,
like the family business. We would just go to his
office so he could work and we would play with
the phones and run around the warehouse. And then when
I was uh in my starving improv era between like
painting jobs and moving jobs. I was so broke. My brother,

(41:09):
who was working for my dad, he's like, he's like,
you know, you're not going to be any more funnier
if you're broke. No, basically, go make money with debt
because my dad would always like love to have you
in there, because he would have loved me to be,
you know, in the family business. But he also respected
what I did. Okay, And then I did it for

(41:29):
a year and I wasn't really good at it. I
was fine, I didn't really like it.

Speaker 2 (41:34):
Yeah, I had.

Speaker 3 (41:35):
To like kind of dress like a business guy. It
was it was kind of a night. Then I auditioned
for but I was still doing theater at night. Like
I didn't quit on the nights, but I the goal
was like making nest egg and find a way out.
And then I auditioned for the Second City Touring Company
and I got that job, and I ran back to
my dad's and I'm like, I'm up.

Speaker 1 (41:56):
I'm up, Like I'm done, I'm I'm so done.

Speaker 2 (41:59):
He's like, no, you can, no, No, I'm out.

Speaker 3 (42:01):
I'm out.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
It's funny that he was like, you know you can
stay because you said I wasn't really good at the
job when you were like kind of fucking up at
the job. How was he as a boss?

Speaker 3 (42:09):
So he I treaded water like I didn't have a
natural affinity. Basically, salesman is like cold. Imagine like there
was an industrial Yellow Pages back in the let's say
early nineties when I was there, and I just opened
it up and started it a and called like acme
springs and then act me piping, and then like, hey,

(42:31):
do you guys have any moving jobs. I'm with TAFF Contracting. Yeah.
I just started doing because I didn't have any accounts
of myself, and that's how I approached it. And lo
and behold, I dug up some work for accounts that
never existed. But I didn't know. I didn't know how
to manage jobs. I didn't I didn't know how to
bid them. And it was, uh, it's a it's interesting.

(42:52):
It's interesting to tour a factory and see how things made.
Like I worked at one of my summer jobs. I
worked in the you're in a dog food factory in Kankakee, Illinois.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
Oh right, crazy.

Speaker 3 (43:04):
I worked in the old Oscar Meyer plant in Chicago,
right across from Cabrini Green.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
I worked I worked, so I had all these like
International Harvester, I worked there, so those are like all
labor jobs. And then I would go with my dad
sometimes and just see how they made like windshields. You
see an oven that's been making glass for one hundred
years because if they turn it off, the whole thing
will crack, you know. So you see these means of

(43:30):
production and it's it's interesting. But doing it for a living,
selling jobs, managing jobs, I was terrible, Which is.

Speaker 1 (43:36):
Interesting because in my mind, I'm like, I feel like
most comedians if they wanted to be and performers, if
you wanted to be a salesperson, that would be a
thing you'd have a knack for if you wanted to.
But I know it also requires the like, Okay, I'm
gonna buckle down and do this thing.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
But in a in an actor's life, let's say, it's
mostly only transactional in the audition room, like we're comfortable
being funny and up because it makes us feel safe.
I think, yeah, yeah, but we're not like oh if
I make him laugh, he'll give me a job on TV.
When we're at the bar, we're just we're just comfortable

(44:13):
in that zone. But like being a salesman is like
imagine you had to hang out with the casting agent
and have lunches with them all the time and then
like go to their kids ballgame. Like you curate these
relationships and it's a lot of it's kind of transaction,
Like the friendship is very transactional, and you maintain it
in a way that's like hard for me unless.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
I really like the person.

Speaker 1 (44:35):
That makes sense.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
Yeah, not that we don't all like.

Speaker 3 (44:37):
Of course, we work with people that we don't like
and we figure a way to do it. But in
sales that's everything.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
Yes, you couldn't really be like, Okay, I like this person,
I don't like this person. It'd be like I don't
like this person, but they could be a potential client.
So you're gonna have to fucking go get a beer
with him after work.

Speaker 3 (44:54):
Today and you can't do your real comedy bits with them.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
Yeah not true, because yeah, you're like, we don't actually
have chemistry. You just have money that I'm trying to
get to and I have to pretend that is acting.
But it seems painful a little bit. It seems a
lot of painful.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
And then you would be throwing out jokes and they're
not laughing, and you're like, I don't know what to
do here.

Speaker 1 (45:11):
Did your dad have friends that were not into any
way involved in his business.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Yeah. All his best friends were the guys from the
neighborhood he grew up in, like a southside Chicago. They
would cut school and go to the racetrack. They were
those kids. Okay, okay, so all his friends from that era,
from the bar, from the they would go to Bears
games on a bus together. He kept a lot of
those relationships. A lot of his old friends were still there.

Speaker 1 (45:38):
Okay, that's very cool. One last thing before I move
on to how you were as a parent about your
dad that you had. Would you say there's anything that
he imparted to you that you hold on to and
want to now in part to your children, piece of advice,
The way he lived what he believed.

Speaker 3 (46:00):
I think some verbalized versions of you know, family is everything,
like be good to your family, take care of your family.
You know, his priority was his family. For as much
as he was around, it was his priority. And I
think from like action he was like randomly kind to

(46:23):
the most unlikely people, Like he had this like soft
heart because he was pretty like conservative politically, you know,
but he would like stop on the side of the
road and like help somebody change a tire or like
stick up for a We did a daily show bit. Yeah,
in Chicago. My dad was hanging out. He was like

(46:45):
seventy maybe at the time. And long story short, there
was a guy who's little five year old kept ruining
the shot like I'm doing a stand up parody piece whatever,
and the director's like, and my dad's like, heyhy don't
you We're trying to We're trying to.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
He was speaking up for the director.

Speaker 3 (47:06):
Yeah, and he's like, why don't you control your kid.
We're trying to, like, we we're trying to get this done.
And guy's like, hey, why don't you mind your own business?
And my dad gets up. He's like he was ready
to be ready to go. Seventy years old, he's ready
to throw hands.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
I love that. I'm like, dad, stop, dad, Dad, He's
got your back. That's true comedy. I've got your back
for real. Yeah, Yeah, that's incredible seventy years old. Had
you ever seen that side of him before? The like
I'm ready to fight?

Speaker 3 (47:36):
Yeah, he had a temper and I don't think I
saw it. Uh. There were stories when he was married
with kids where he did get in fights. Okay, And
he told me once he there was one time, I
don't know, somebody said something. You know, they're at a
bar or something. Somebody said something to my mom and
they took it outside and he said it was like
I was. It was so like rough, like getting in

(47:59):
a fight and like to near death. He's like, I
can't do this anymore.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
Yeah, He's like, Okay, I think we're done. But at
seventy I will do one. I'll dibble, dabble a little
more if I need to, so we can get this
damn shop for the Daily Show.

Speaker 2 (48:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
So, did you know you wanted to be a dad? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (48:13):
I think so.

Speaker 3 (48:14):
I think I had to get my act together whatever
that entailed.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
Can I ask what that does entail? Matt? Did you
were talking about financially emotionally?

Speaker 3 (48:24):
I think like for people like us, it's sort of career.
It's sort of like creative passion. Yeah, you burn through
that and then you settle into like probably emotional maturities
by the last part of it to come. And then
along the way you have relationships where you learn how

(48:45):
to slightly become a better partner perhaps, or or pick
a better partner, but not in a therapeutic focused map
that way, you just sort of improvised as we do. Yes, right,
are the things I would say, is how you get
your act together?

Speaker 1 (49:03):
Right? So then by the time your kids came into
the picture. So you're married to Morgan, kids come in
the picture, she's pregnant, were you like, Okay, I feel ready,
I feel like actice together. Okay.

Speaker 3 (49:14):
As hokey as it sounds, I think when we met,
I was a better version of myself and I was
ready to be sort of I don't know, candid and
fully myself in a way.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
What do you think clicked to allow that? Namely the
part about like being able to be fully yourself, the
better version of yourself? I think I understand.

Speaker 3 (49:32):
I think there's a sense of confidence and sense of
place that at some point in your life you don't
really care how you come over on people. I think
a lot of times we or I did. I can
only speak for myself. I think I wanted to people please,
or I wanted to be in a We all still

(49:54):
in this career, we all still want to be further along.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
So that's sort of always always.

Speaker 3 (49:58):
Yeah, that's sort of desperation or that sort of nervousness
or that sort of sense of drive that you feel
like you always got to be working hard at some
point that just you know it lessons, it's sort of
you're just like, I don't really care, like whatever.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
You just have more of that attitude.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
I think, right right, that makes sense. Now, are you
a strict parent?

Speaker 3 (50:22):
I can be, okay, but also, like my father, I
do travel a lot.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
Like I'm gone a lot.

Speaker 3 (50:28):
So like when I did veep, yeah I was, you know,
I was gone for like weeks at a time, you know,
for half the year. So it's weird to come back
into a thing that's working really well and go, okay,
how we're going to do things and then Morgan's like,
please stop like getting.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
Met, like, don't.

Speaker 3 (50:47):
Yeah, we've trained is on the track, the train is
on the tracks.

Speaker 1 (50:49):
Yeah you're you just jumped on the train, sir.

Speaker 3 (50:52):
You can't come in here motion trains in motion, Just
sit out.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
I started chuckling in advance of your answer because I
was imagining I'm like, yeah, a traveling parent who then
comes pops in when they can and is like we're
doing it this way, we're doing that. Why is this happening?
It's like, well, I don't think you're allowed to do that.

Speaker 3 (51:09):
Yeah, But I'm like, I'm the strict one. Like I'm
stricter than Morgan. Morgan is more sensitive and like has
a harder time. Like, am I neglecting them by being stern?
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (51:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (51:20):
And I don't have a problem with that.

Speaker 1 (51:24):
No issue being stern. Wait, first of all, how many
kids do we you have?

Speaker 3 (51:27):
We have three?

Speaker 1 (51:28):
Three, okay, and then four including me.

Speaker 2 (51:29):
Now so i'm your four. Yeah, you're the fourth.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
You should tell Morgan. By the way, I don't know
I've accepted a role.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
You're the old Well you're the oldest.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
Now I'm the oldest. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
So you're easy. Yeah, and you're an easy kid.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
I honestly, in my humble opinion, I was always an
easy kid. I mean I would have to ask my mom,
but I think I was always an easy kid.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
But I mean, you're you're in Brooklyn, you have a career.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
It's like, don't need money.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
Don't need money.

Speaker 3 (51:57):
No, you've seem you're on your two feet, you see,
doing all right.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
Of sound mind, at least five days out of the week,
I would say, all right, everyone gets a little forty
eight hour period to go insane number a week, I say,
at least, so there's three of them. Do you care
if they're scared of you? Does that matter to you?
Or do you think a little fear is good?

Speaker 3 (52:18):
I think sometimes there were times when they were younger
where I probably lost my shit too much and I
could see that I probably was like too loud or
something mm hmm, like I never hit them or anything
like that, but they're aren't because we're.

Speaker 2 (52:32):
So big and they're so little, right, So.

Speaker 3 (52:34):
I guess I don't ever want them to fear me.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
Right, But then when you saw those moments when in
real time and it's like, okay, I've raised my voice.
I think the volume of my size is maybe scaring
my kid. Did you go into immediate like okay, repair,
I need to fix this and I need to meet
them with the opposite energy or it would.

Speaker 3 (52:52):
Be like it would be a cool down period and
then maybe whatever thirty minutes later, a hour later, I
would come back and go, Okay, I'm sorry I yelled,
but I can't turn it around that quickly. Maybe I
need a little like yeah away time I only.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
Barely believe in astrology. What's your sign?

Speaker 3 (53:12):
Uh? Do you want to guess?

Speaker 1 (53:13):
I'm going to guess one. Just for shits and giggles,
I will say I feel incredibly ignorant on the topic
relatively because I know some people who are so invested
and know it so well. I find it like he
he haha. Interesting. I'm going to based on what you
just said and needing the cool down period, I go,
are you me? Do we have the same DNA? You are?
Of course my dad for the day, but I am like, oh,

(53:34):
we might be related because I also would need to
like cool down after I'm upset. I can't snap out
of it that quickly, which in my opinion just means
it's real. But Pisces, are you a Pisces? Are you
a water sign?

Speaker 2 (53:47):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
I'm a Libra.

Speaker 2 (53:48):
Are they water?

Speaker 3 (53:49):
No?

Speaker 1 (53:49):
I think that's a no. I was going to say
that's a lion.

Speaker 2 (53:52):
But metal metal metal, it's metal scale.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
Oh oh okay, justice arbitrary of justice or something like that. Okay,
got it. Okay, that's that's interesting. How do they respond
in those moments so when you come back after do
you feel like they're like okay forgiven.

Speaker 3 (54:07):
Yeah, I think it helps. I think it slowly works through.
And then it's teenagers are really a lot harder than
little ones.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Mm hmmm. So how many teenagers do you have?

Speaker 3 (54:17):
We have two, We're going to have three in December.
Our youngest will be thirteen.

Speaker 1 (54:22):
Okay, so you said they're the hardest. They're harder than
young ones, because what.

Speaker 3 (54:26):
Because the challenges are complicated. When they're little, it's like
keep them safe, keep them fed, keep them clean, make
sure they get sleep, have fun with them. And you
can carry them on their arm and put them on
an airline tray, and you can make you can cook
dinner with a baby and your beorn. It's all very

(54:46):
The goals are very simple for me at least. And
then when they're sixteen or seventeen and they ask you
questions or they come with, you know, their opinions about
someone who's getting canceled and they don't like someone let's say,
and I'm like, all right, I spoke, Okay, wait, what's
slowed down?

Speaker 1 (55:04):
Mm hm?

Speaker 3 (55:05):
You know, or or they have a judgment about something
or yeah, or they don't want to do something, and
then they have really good logic and you're like.

Speaker 2 (55:13):
Trying not to lose.

Speaker 3 (55:14):
You're cool, Like there's all those scenarios that come up.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
Okay, wait, well, say you're in an exchange with one
of your teenage kids and their logic is really good.
I don't really want to get to the bottom of this,
and you're my first dad to allow me the space
to talk about this. So teenage kid, their logic's really good,
and you're wrong. You've already said you're willing to apologize
when you're like, I like popped off a little too

(55:37):
much and I'm gonna say sorry, which I don't know
a ton of parents that apologize, at least not when
I was growing up. But did your parents ever apologize
to you?

Speaker 3 (55:45):
Just? Okay? Really there were times.

Speaker 2 (55:48):
No, there were times, but probably when I was older.

Speaker 3 (55:50):
Not when I was little.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
Okay, great, So like, so you have a teen you
have a teenager in your house. Their logic is super strong,
and you're kind of stuck. What do you do? Yeah, well, like, yeah.

Speaker 3 (55:59):
There's these pop up concerts, like somebody will put out
on TikTok, like, oh, my friend's doing a show and
the Forest Preserve out in Calabasas and my son's sixteen,
and he's meeting some friends, right, and then it's like
this thing's in motion.

Speaker 2 (56:13):
And then I'm and I'm like, I don't I don't
like it.

Speaker 3 (56:17):
I'll say that like you can't go why I'm going
with so and so and so and so on, and
this mom's picking me up. But I'm like, I know,
but it's just like it's calabasis. I don't know where
you save it. But and then they give you all
the details sometimes and it's worked. Sometimes it doesn't. Always
I'm like, look you, I don't have the logical argument,
but my gut, which I trust, is telling me this

(56:38):
isn't a good scenario. And so there will be times
in our life, your relationship with me where I just
don't have the right words to appease you or I
don't have the right words to express it. But my
gut is telling me this is no bueno and it's
not going to happen. Well, I apologize that I don't
have the words.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
Because they'll go why why why?

Speaker 3 (56:55):
Why? And that sometimes works. That's my default is telling me,
and I can't quite you know, give me thirty minutes tomorrow.
I bet I'll have a better reason. But right now
I don't have it.

Speaker 1 (57:08):
Yeah, I actually really like that. I think that back
when I was a teenager, because I do know that
I was a fourteen, fifteen, sixteen year old like why why? Why? No? No,
Like I understand, you know, I've been doing everything you've
told me to do to this point, but now I've
got some questions, and I'd be like why. I think
that would have worked on me because I also now
that I'm so intrigued by parents, like with parenting and

(57:33):
psychology and the way our minds work and the way
they form. I feel like all childhood psychologists would be like, well,
that's not bad, because then you're telling your kid too. Hey,
sometimes it's just a gut thing and you should trust
your gut. The way right now, I'm trusting my gut
and saying no, you can't go to that thing. If

(57:54):
this makes you you weren't looking for reassurance at all.
And again I don't have kids, but I'm like, oh,
I really think that. I you know, so many times
in that scenario with a teenager, and I've been a
teenager where it's just like no, and it's because I
said so. I never like those types of exchanges someone
would say that because then you know your kid might
go off and go someone else said so. So Now
I just did the thing because you told me. I'm

(58:14):
sob mindlessly just honor because someone else said so. But
I can get behind a parent going I think I'm older. Now,
I'm not anyone's parent. I am someone's kid, but I'm
not you know, at their mercy. But I'm like, yeah,
if you said, thank you for laying out all who's going,
But my gut right now does not feel good about it.
And my job is to protect you. And I would
feel sick if something happened to you and I didn't

(58:36):
listen to my gut. Yeah, So do me a solid
and not don't go.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
Yeah, And I don't have the words right now for
what it is.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
And when they're little, because I said so works, but
when they're teenagers or as they get older, it doesn't work.

Speaker 1 (58:50):
And so also doesn't feel good. On the other side,
just as a former child, I'm like, it doesn't feel
good when someone says that to you and they go
right because I said so, and I go. I'm also
a person. I know I'm young. I might not pay bills,
but I don't know. Let's talk.

Speaker 3 (59:05):
But sometimes because I said so is fatigue from a
parent listening to.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
A nine year old Goot, but why but why?

Speaker 3 (59:13):
But why?

Speaker 2 (59:13):
And that's a full day.

Speaker 3 (59:14):
Yeah, And then you're getting in the car and they
want to do one more swing on the swing and
you're like, you got a bedtime, you got school tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
Yeah, and it's the two hundredth Why why Why?

Speaker 3 (59:23):
Because I said so? Is communicating like I'm at my
boiling point?

Speaker 1 (59:28):
Yeah, you know what? That makes sense? Is what I
understand that. And that's the part of me that goes, yeah,
I haven't had that kid in my back seat all
day grilling me on why why why? Why?

Speaker 3 (59:37):
Why? Why? Why?

Speaker 1 (59:38):
And I'm like, we're done, We're at the threshold. I've
got nothing else for. You can't engage in this exchange.
And what I'm saying has to go. So because I
said so, that makes sense, That makes perfect sense. I
get that. Do you give your kids any advice now
in terms of how they should conduct themselves or do

(59:58):
you think you're more of a like just fu all My.

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
Example advice that I give my kids. One thing I
heard on a radio or podcast is that sometimes, well,
one I'm terrified of drugs. So I'm like, don't do
any powders, don't smoke anything that someone hands you. Yeah,
if you ever have a question or if you're ever
in trouble, a place you can always call.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
You'll never get in trouble.

Speaker 3 (01:00:20):
That's not advice, right, So advice would be, uh, what's advice?

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
But it kind of is, though met But also you're
in a pinch because we're going to do a part two.
I'm going to count that as advice. Okay, but then
I have to end each episode because I want to
honor your time asking my dad for the day at
you for a piece of advice. I have a question
for you, and I would love your advice on it.
What's going on in my life is I have a
lot of little tattoos. I'm really enjoying it. I'm having fun.

(01:00:50):
Three years ago I had zero tattoos. Now I think
I have fourteen. They're tiny, tiny little guys. Do you
think Dad, I should cap it there? Enough is or
do you think if I'm still enjoying it, keep getting tattoos?

Speaker 3 (01:01:05):
Why do you why do you think you ask yourself
the question? Or where is the fear behind that question? Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
Wow, that's a great question. I have not had one
volley to me, Well, my mom is not into tattoos.
She's not like a hard like nose turned up, like disgusting,
going on rants about them. But she's just like, you
don't need to mark your body, don't You really don't
need to. And my grandmother and grandfather had tribal tattoos,
so I was like they had them. She was like
they were fashionable when they were coming up, and I go, well,

(01:01:35):
they're fashionable again, lady, So here I am. So that's
my thing where I go. I did have zero three
years ago, which I feel like a different person then,
and I'm like people said they were addictive, and I
was like, not me. I just want these two and
I'm done. And I'm done because I'm going zero to
two and now fourteen later, and I'm a little like, oh,
is this the addiction people were talking about? Maybe that's

(01:01:57):
it where you go. I don't think I'll ever cover
my arm up or anything crazy like that. And I
don't mean to call that crazy. I just think that
is a departure for me.

Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
I think you have a fear of addiction or crossing
a line that you maybe in this moment, don't intend to.
So I would say, explore a boundary for yourself and say, like,
here's the region that I will never violate. Okay, something
I don't that's a bad example, but no, it's helpful though,
Like we know, we know we're not going to ruin

(01:02:25):
the money maker, right.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
No, necky neck next time?

Speaker 2 (01:02:29):
Well whatever, I won't get in your body.

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
But yeah, okay, I have boundaries, have some real boundaries
about it.

Speaker 3 (01:02:34):
Okay, think about it, and maybe maybe that'll give you
less fear. Okay, where where's the region that like, okay,
the leg We've already got three there whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
Yeah, yeah, okay, this is helpful. Matt, do you want
to plug anything.

Speaker 3 (01:02:48):
I'm in a movie called The Good Half, The Good
Half that's out on your platforms right now.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
It's good.

Speaker 3 (01:02:56):
It's got a great cast, and I do a podcas
cast with Tim Simons where we go through old episodes
of VIEP called Second in Command.

Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
Okay, listen to Second in Command, the podcast Matt does
with Tim Simons. They're watching VIEP. You heard it from him.
I feel the need to reiterate it because I really
want you to. And the Good Half, the Good Half
is out streaming everywhere. It's got a good cast according
to my dad for the day, so watch it.

Speaker 3 (01:03:21):
Matt.

Speaker 1 (01:03:21):
I really appreciate you being here. Thank you so so
much for your time. Thank you for that sage wisdom
and advice. I'm gonna really take that out into the
world for myself. So I appreciate you. We will do
a part two. Thank you so much. Okay, Why Thanks
Dad is a headgum podcast created and hosted by me
Igo Wodem. This show is engineered by Rochelle Chen and

(01:03:41):
Anya Kanfskaya and edited by Rochelle Chen with executive producer
Emma Foley. Katie Moose is our VP of Content at Headgum.
Thanks to Jason Matheni for our show Arn't and Faris
Manshi for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum,
visit headgum dot com or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and maybe,

(01:04:04):
just maybe we'll read it on a future episode. That
was a hit Gum podcast