Tim Meadows

Tim Meadows joins Ego as her dad for the day a discuss family dynamics as an adult, showing up in the world and not letting people disrespect you, and Ego asks advice about what to do as a veteran on SNL when you feel like you have run out of ideas.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is a headgum podcast, so guys, I may go
odum and welcome to Thanks Dad. I was raised by
a single mom and I don't have a relationship with
my dad, partially because he's dead now.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
But don't feel bad for me. It is okay. We
didn't have a relationship before that the spoiler.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
So this podcast, I'm sitting down with father figures who
are no offense to my next guest, old enough to be.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
My dad, or.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Or who are just dads themselves. I'm gonna get to
ask the questions I've always wanted to ask a dad,
like how do I know.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
If the guy I'm dating is right or wrong?

Speaker 1 (00:55):
For me?

Speaker 2 (00:56):
And my God?

Speaker 1 (00:57):
How do I change the oil in my car? I
moved to New York because I didn't want to have to
change oil ever again, and partially because I.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Ended up on Saturday Night Live.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
And speaking of Saturday Night Live, my next guest is
someone you know from Saturday Night Live. Ladies Man, the
mean Girls, the Goldbergs, and tons more. Please welcome my
dad for the day. You've agreed to be called that.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Tim Meadows, Hi, Tim, How are you Hi?

Speaker 3 (01:25):
Hi?

Speaker 4 (01:25):
How are you good to see you again?

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Good to see you. It's been far too long. I mean,
we are it's been.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Way too It's almost as long as it's been since
i've seen my real dad.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Oh I'm sorry, No, don't be sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
It's fine. It's honestly not as long. I hadn't seen
him in way longer.

Speaker 4 (01:42):
Well, we had fun the last time we saw each other.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
We did. I really appreciated that. That was very cool.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
Tim and I improvised together at San Francisco's Sketch Fest,
and I believe twenty nineteen.

Speaker 4 (01:54):
It was somewhere around there.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Somewhere around there, right, we don't have a fact check
on this, so you can say whatever, Franklin.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
Okay, good, Yeah, I know it was before COVID because.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
We were all like, no mask and everybody was touching
each other, and.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
We were touching, we were sweating, we were scared. Oh
my goodness, before times.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
By the way, I don't know if this is weird
to ask, how was COVID for you?

Speaker 3 (02:18):
COVID was? I grew a lot from COVID. I actually
got during COVID. I started doing yoga and meditating, okay,
and I took it really seriously. I took it seriously
and I really fell in love with it is I
have a daily practice, okay.

Speaker 4 (02:35):
And it all came from this just.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
The desire to like work out exercise, but also from
the desire of not having anxiety attacks during.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
The day, right, okay, of course.

Speaker 4 (02:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
So and then I think the other thing, I just
got closer with my kids. Actually, yeah, I spent a
lot more time with both of my sons in Chicago, Okay,
And I think that was a big influence and it
really affected our relationship because you know, you're like we
were stuff together.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:09):
Yeah, and so it was like I was a good
entertaining that, you know.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
Okay, So wait, can I ask how you were experiencing
what you were experiencing during COVID and anxiety attacks panic
attacks perhaps? And then made the choice to meditate. Sounds
like even fact be just more present.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Perhaps.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Was that like from the recommendation of a therapist or
was that just a thing you said, I'm doing my
own research online and this is something I want to
do or need to do.

Speaker 4 (03:41):
Well, it was a combination of both.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
I have had I have a therapist, and I did
talk to him like, you know weekly, we love it
also came yeah, but it also came from just the
I was just having daily sort of like moments of
because when it offers half and I was by myself
in I have an apartment in Venice, and so I
was just there and everybody else was away from me.

(04:07):
And so the very beginning, this is hard for me
to make it through the day without like being worried
about what was going on in the news or what
was happening in my life, or just trying. I wanted
to get to Chicago and everything and see my boys. Yeah,
And so it was, and it was a recommendation from
my therapist and something that I just knew I had
to get.

Speaker 4 (04:26):
Into right right.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
I mean, I found it to be incredibly helpful myself
through the pandemic, and even before then, I think I
had a practice of being still and looking inward. I've
learned a lot about meditation in the last couple of years,
but I think even before that, again, I was like,
I'm into praying, I'm into meditating, I'm into those quiet times.
But I feel like COVID really made all of us go, Okay,

(04:48):
this is this is really important, especially when you're by
yourself in that way.

Speaker 3 (04:53):
I was gonna see It's funny though, because even during
that time, I put a Bible app on my phone
because I started reading the Bible and I started getting
I was like, I need some input, like to give
me some like perspective, and just I want to I
want to make I want to take advantage of this
free time that I have to get closer spiritually and

(05:15):
yeah and everything else.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
So let me tell you about the Bible app, y'all.
I have that on my phone and everyone, so I'll
just peep at the first of the day and go, okay,
all right, we love that. It's just a little dose
of something tender and yeah and yeah please.

Speaker 4 (05:30):
And also if you want to just be scared, or
if you want some like you.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
Know, bloody stories, you got an Old Testament but on
I would put on. I wanted the guy the voice
read it to me, okay, and then you would just
hear about all the sacrifices and slaughtering of animals.

Speaker 4 (05:47):
This is like a John Carpenter or you know something.
It's just crazy.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
They can really make some movies that these Old Testament stories. Yeah,
now what voice did you pick?

Speaker 1 (05:57):
Because I don't like when my phone makes any sound whatsoever.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
I don't want to hear.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
I mean phone calls and facetimes, but otherwise I'm like,
I don't want any vocal anything coming up. I don't
even want Siri talking back to me. But what voice
did you pick? Did you get to or did you
do a default?

Speaker 2 (06:14):
I picked the default male voice? Okay.

Speaker 3 (06:18):
I picked the male voice because it just sounded more
ominous and like, I don't know, the female voice sounds
like very soothing, like that Old Testament stories. I really
did like to have the male voice, okay, talking about
occidents being slaughtered.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
Did you switch to the female voice when you got
to the New Testament?

Speaker 4 (06:37):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (06:37):
No, I didn't, But I tell you I do use
the female voice for my when I was doing the
meditation app Okay, I started doing that.

Speaker 4 (06:45):
Okay, The female voice I love much.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
Far more soothing.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yes, Where does that come from? I believe our voices
are more soothing too.

Speaker 4 (06:52):
I do too. I think he comes from the wound.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
You know, I'm going to get to the womb with
you now, Tim, this is what we're here to talk about. Yeah,
my relationship with my dad or lack thereof in your case,
what was your relationship with your dad?

Speaker 4 (07:04):
Like my relationship with my father. People.

Speaker 3 (07:06):
Well, my parents also separated when I was about seven
years old, okay, and then for a while and we
lived in the same city, but I didn't even see
my father for maybe a couple of years or something
like that. And then my sister, Wanda, who is two
years older than me, and I think I maybe.

Speaker 4 (07:23):
Was seven, so she was nine, she demanded to go
to his house.

Speaker 3 (07:29):
And I love it, Wanda, Yeah, And so she my
mother took us.

Speaker 4 (07:34):
Got us in the car. We went to his house
and knocked on the door like kids.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Yeah. And then what happened.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
Back in the day, there was this thing, these things
called milk shoots, okay, where the milkman will leave the
bottles of milk.

Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
And I was small enough to fit through the milk shoot,
and so they opened the milk shoot and pushed me in.

Speaker 4 (07:54):
And then I went in and opened the.

Speaker 3 (07:55):
Door, and we all went in, and my father was
like pretending, like he was, what's going on?

Speaker 1 (08:00):
What are you guys doing it when all else fails?
Pretend to be asleep? I feel like, no shade, I mean,
I feel like I learned this from men, but just
just what I'm disoriented and what's going hold on, who
are you?

Speaker 2 (08:12):
I'm sorry, I was I was sleeping, my dreaming.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Wait, so y'all broke into your dad's house and I
love it because Wanda said this needs to happen. Now.
Was your mom at all reticent or was she at
this point you hadn't seen him for a couple of years.
It's like you said, and so what was your mom's
take on that?

Speaker 3 (08:29):
My mother's take was that if you guys, if you
this is something you wanted, I'm gonna do it.

Speaker 4 (08:34):
Because she agreed.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
And to my mother's credit, she never talked negative about
my thoughts.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
Same by the way, I feel like, growing up, I've
seen the tropes of the bitter woman, single mother raising
her children and bashing men and dumping all her emotional
baggage on her children, and I'm like, I didn't have
that experience. My mom never spoke negatively about my dad either.
So she said, to you guys, if you guys, if
that's something you want, let's go over there. Let's I'm

(09:02):
going to take you there. And I mean, I appreciate that,
and absolute to your mom's credit, that is.

Speaker 4 (09:07):
And really to my sister's credit too. Like I said,
she was just a couple of years older than me.

Speaker 3 (09:12):
But then she sort of forced my father to have
a relationship with us, and then he did, you know.

Speaker 4 (09:19):
So from the time I was maybe ten on, we
would I would see him more.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
Okay, but my relationship with him wasn't father's son. It
was more friendly, friendly and more like. He was a
big jazz fan, so we had that in common. I
played saxophone okay, in high school and through school.

Speaker 4 (09:37):
And stuff, so he loved the fact that I was
a musician. We got stone together when I was old.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
How old?

Speaker 4 (09:44):
He's like, Yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
Got stone with him, and I think actually that like
brought us closer together too, because I got to see
him in a different light, you know, and he saw
me achieved and so he was always very proud of
me in surprise and stuff. Yeah, but you know, my
father's passed away too. But I think about my father

(10:10):
every day. Like there as loment as during the day
when I or things that will happen and I will
remember something he said or something he made me laugh about,
or I hear it in myself sometimes when I'm doing
stand up and I'll if I'm riffing on stuff and
sometimes I'll be like, man, that sounds just like what
my father would say.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
Wow, Wow, that's so cool.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
So no, even hearing that you think about him every day,
that is that's so lovely to hear, frankly, and also
knowing that he was more of a friend to you
than say, a father figure in the way that I
think a lot of us think about it, is any
part of you wish he had been a father figure
to you and more of that than your friend.

Speaker 3 (10:53):
And yeah, I mean I wish when I was younger
I had that kind because he didn't do sports.

Speaker 4 (10:59):
He never threw a ball all to me or at me.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
Well that's good at your right, okay.

Speaker 4 (11:05):
Yeah, but like the thing like but when I was younger, Yeah,
like I.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Missed from ages of seven to ten or whatever, I
missed those kind of like things. And I would see
other kids doing those things with their father's going you know,
little league sports or you know fishing. My father took
us fishing when I was really young, and then we
stopped doing it, and I missed that, you know, right.

(11:29):
But I think in hindsight, being a man now, I'm
sort of annoying my dad and knowing what kind of
man he was.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
I'm kind of glad that we were friend.

Speaker 4 (11:40):
Is more than father's son. Okay, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
No, Please tell me what kind of man was he?
In your view?

Speaker 5 (11:48):
Well, he was a player, Okay, he was outside Okay,
he was out.

Speaker 4 (11:52):
There, he was Okay.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
You know, it is funny.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
Because I saw some snippets of Keenan's book mm hm,
and he was talking about like the African American people
on the show, and he said that I was like
a Harvard guy who was like cerebral and quiet and stuff.
And I'm like, I didn't go on to Harvard.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
First of all, I went to Yale. No, okay, where
did you can?

Speaker 4 (12:16):
I went to Waste State University.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
But also, like my family, like I grew up in
the city, Like my family, like I have a very
typical upbringing.

Speaker 4 (12:26):
You know what I'm saying for.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
I grew up in Detroit, my separated parents, my father.
I see my father out and drinking in the streets
of Detroit, you know, like, ok yeah, so I yeah,
so my that's the kind of man my dad was.

Speaker 4 (12:42):
He was a hard working dude, but he drank. He
didn't really.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
Step up when it was time to be a father. Well,
here's the other thing that we discovered about my dad
when I was about sixteen seventeen was that he had
another family before my family.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yes, okay, well, so this is a thing.

Speaker 1 (13:03):
When I was thinking about this podcast, and I have
been for many years and thinking about it in this
forum and other forms, I've done so much research about
I mean, I found some stat about how many adults
don't have a relationship with their father and how it's
not as rare as you think. And I, in talking
about this, have been like, in talking to friends about it.

(13:25):
It's so fascinating to me how many men have multiple families,
like actually at the same time, at the same time
secret families. This is not as rare as you'd like
to think. And at a certain point before I was
having these conversations, I had a certain naivete about it
because I'd go, oh, my gosh, that is I have

(13:46):
never heard of such a thing. But now I'm like,
not heard of that, but yeah, I'm like I've heard
of it at this point. And I have so many
friends from college I look at in getting closer to
them over the years too, I discovered, oh, you're a
part of your dad's second family, and you're part of
a family for which he decided to step up, And
I mean, I want to talk to some dads who
have done that to know what made you want to

(14:06):
step up for this second family and like be a
present father because you have this other family that did
not experience the benefit or the same kind of harm
or what have.

Speaker 2 (14:16):
You of your presence.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
I mean, my dad had another family, not secret family,
but went on to have another family, was a very
present father for them. And so that's just fascinating to me.
But it's not as rare as we like to think
it is, by the way.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yeah, no, And actually I was talking to a friend
another a comedian, and I would say what he is,
but I'm not sure if he's really said this in
the pressure, But we were talking about it, and I
told him about my experience with my dad and.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
He said he had the same thing.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
And he's not an African American and he said he
had the same thing and he was just surprised about
it and it changed how he thought of his father.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
Mmmm mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
But yeah, we discovered it when I was I would
think it was kept from me. Maybe my older brothers
and sisters knew, but my sister Wanda again. She she's
a Michigan State and she saw that there was another
Meadows in the student directory, you know, for the faculty. Sure, actually,

(15:23):
and so she called him and said, my name is
Wanda Meadows.

Speaker 4 (15:26):
I'm a freshman. I just saw your name. And his
name is.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
Lee Meadows and he was a teacher and he was
at Michigan State. And they started talking and then discovered
that they had the same father.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
Wow, what a way.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
Okay, because because Wanda is giving superhero to me, powerful superhero,
what did she do with that information?

Speaker 2 (15:48):
Did she call your dad and confront him? Yes, okay?
And he froze up and was like, I'm sleep, I'm
sleep what happened? I was sleep? I still got the
call in my.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
Okay, yeah, I swear he did it, and he would
not he would not recognize it to us ever, m Like,
I don't think he ever for me personally, Like, I
don't think he ever said anything about his other family,
even after we all knew what was the deal.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
When ultimately he pretended to be a sleepy did he
ever acknowledge even in that moment like, Okay, yes this
is happening. But then did it go from acknowledging to
not wanting to talk about it, or did it go
from I'm not going to acknowledge and I'm not going
to talk about it.

Speaker 3 (16:29):
It went from acknowledging it to not talking about it
super quick quickly.

Speaker 4 (16:34):
Okay, yeah, and we just never it was never a think.
But we have a relationship with my other brothers and sisters.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
Now, okay, okay.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
And so that was like the good thing about it,
you know, and for us to find like my brother
Lee is a he is a doctor, it's like he's
a professor.

Speaker 4 (16:51):
You know.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
His other and his other siblings are all like educated.
One of my stepsisters lived in Paris our whole life,
you know, Okay, finding all this stuff, like I'm like,
oh yeah, it's sort of like our family, Like we're
this like we we go for what we want, we
are afraid to like we're achievers basically, you know what
I'm saying. Right, So it was really eye opening to

(17:16):
meet those people because it changed my perspective of.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
What I could do really you know, okay inspired you yeah, yeah,
I was like, my brother, if I have a brother
that's a doctor, as a doctor's degree.

Speaker 4 (17:27):
I'm from the same genes I can I can achieve something?

Speaker 3 (17:30):
You know?

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Isn't it fascinating when you like discover what's inside of you?
I say that like my mom was a single mom
and went to I don't say she was a single
mom and went to medical school having after having four children.
And for me, I'm like, I could do anything in
my mind as a result. And I don't know if
in that time, you know, when I'm growing up, I

(18:07):
think to myself, Oh, because my mom did this, I
believe I can do anything.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
But it's just the seeing it and what that.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
Does inside of you subconsciously even and then knowing it. Now,
did you meet these siblings? This is then, presumably before
you got on SNL.

Speaker 4 (18:20):
I met them before. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:22):
And the one that I think we've had the closest
relationship with is my brother Lee, And so yeah, we've
had a relationship and they've been able to see everything too.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Now, did your dad step up for Lee and his
siblings or was he present for them?

Speaker 3 (18:39):
No?

Speaker 4 (18:39):
Okay, he wasn't.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
Okay, you guys were having the same experience.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
Then in that experience, and there's a little crossover to
like the kids my oldest brother and like Lee's youngest sister.

Speaker 4 (18:51):
And they just like maybe in the same year or something.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
Oh wow, like one town over.

Speaker 4 (18:57):
No, no, wow. My dad was a player and he
didn't care.

Speaker 2 (19:02):
He had a car. He had a car and was
on a mission to get as much as he could.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
He was like, I'm going to have a family on
the west side and the.

Speaker 1 (19:13):
East side, and if there was an in the south
of the tree, he would have done that as well.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Okay, that is fascinating.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
So when you say that you're glad in a sense
that he was more of a friend to you than
a father figure. Did you respect your dad once you
had that relationship with him.

Speaker 4 (19:33):
That's a good question.

Speaker 3 (19:34):
Wow, I oh boy, that's like one of the therapy questions.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
It's fascinating.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
Listen, by the way, if I had just met you,
I'm this person, I'm like, tell me everything.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
But I'm feeling comfortable talking to you because I, yeah,
I know you. Yeah, I could say, but yeah, Honestly,
I didn't have a lot of respect from a father
as a father figure, just these amples that I saw,
you know, and so I had to separate that from
the man that I was getting to know as an adult.

(20:06):
You know, from the time I was seventeen on. I
really didn't ask my father for advice or help or
anything like that, so I didn't have like this respect
for him. I'm getting choked up that I wish I
would have had. Yeah, I had luckily in my life though,
I had father figures that I adopted, and I saw

(20:30):
all these men carried themselves in a way they treated
their wives and their kids, and I used those people
as examples of how to be a man.

Speaker 4 (20:41):
So, yeah, that's a good question.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
Yeah, it's tough because I do have a lot of
respect for my mom and having seen what she overcame,
having seen how she stepped up and just handled business,
and having seen the way she conducts herself about all
of this stuff that we're even talking about here. Yet
at the same time, when I went away to college,

(21:03):
I've said this already, I recognized her as a person,
and I think growing up, at least for me, I
just was like, this is a superhero, Like you're the adult.
You're an adult, and you're gonna be this perfect arbitrar
of justice, and you know how to make all the
right decisions and moves. And once I got to college,
going across the country was probably the best thing I

(21:23):
could have ever done, because it just made me see
her as a person, like, oh my goodness, that lady
is just a person who is doing all of this,
going to med school, raising these kids, yep, and has
no experience with this beyond this actual experience she's having
and going at it one day at a time, fresh
and new, improvising if you will.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yeah, but she's just a person.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
So some of the things I'm upset with her about,
oh my goodness, she's literally just a person, and we
hear it all the time, trying her best, but I'm like, seriously,
just a gal who had some kids and is like
and is like figuring.

Speaker 2 (21:57):
It out as she goes.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
And so I think I had a lot of respect
for her when I was some of that frustration about
things with my mom, It was like I had a
lot of respect for her, and thus expected her to
be able to make X and Y decisions and intelligently
and in a way where she that demonstrates that she
knows everything and knows what she's doing.

Speaker 2 (22:19):
And so you want to have that respect for.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
Your parents, and you want to have that even if
there are other people, and I had a lot of people.
I had a lot of positive male figures in my life.
My mom never remarried, but I didn't have a bad
view of men, and I got to see men who
stepped up for their families, and I got to see
men who were loving and kind and invested in me
and my success. But you want to, yeah, you want

(22:42):
to have that respect for your parents. There's something that
feels really special about that. If you could have, okay,
had the option of having a father figure you respect
or a friend in your father, which would you choose,
because sometimes.

Speaker 2 (22:57):
I'm like, I don't know if my mom's my friend.

Speaker 4 (23:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (23:01):
Well, I think form like different periods of my life.
Like I said, I think I much rather would have
had my father been in my life more when I
was younger and then through the teenage years. It would
have been good to have him to help me figure
out stuff too. Yeah, so I think I much rather
would have had like a traditional father in my life.

Speaker 4 (23:22):
That would have been great.

Speaker 3 (23:23):
But I think the way it all turned out, you know,
I was, you know, smart enough to like look and
pick other people and see other men and say, Okay,
even if I don't have to even ask that person
any questions, I can just look at what they're doing,
and I can see that, like I wouldn't be like that,
you know, and I'll see like one of my first

(23:44):
men and I looked up to was my gym teachers,
this guy who also went to my church.

Speaker 4 (23:48):
His name was David Petway. His name is David that
Way And I even like wrote his name in.

Speaker 1 (23:53):
A sketch when I was a love it because people
love when you loved it.

Speaker 6 (23:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
One of mine, Veranda, is named after my friend's mom
because I just loved that name.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
But they love it.

Speaker 4 (24:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
But yeah, So he was one of the first guy
because he was married, loved his kids, was church going guy,
very athletic and very positive, smart dude teacher.

Speaker 4 (24:15):
And then there was this guy named Joe Kaminsky who
was another teacher. And when I was a kid, and
he was this.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
White guy athlete, but like, I never seen tough kids
respect a guy as quickly as they respected him because
he just did not take shit from anybody.

Speaker 4 (24:35):
And he was a big dude.

Speaker 3 (24:37):
He was white, working in an all African Americans, you know,
school predominantly African American, but he set fear in the
heart of the boys in that class just my flexing
his biceps.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
Yeah, but mister commit, that.

Speaker 3 (24:54):
Dude took me under his wing because he saw like
that I he was just like thought I had that
had something, and he.

Speaker 4 (25:01):
I was his assistant, you know. And no teachers don't
have assistance. Right, you come hang out with the football team.
Here's the pad. I want you to take attendance. He
like gave me things to do and stuff. Yeah, And
so it was like guys like that.

Speaker 3 (25:15):
But I do want to say too, like your experience
with your mom and like, yeah, when I first moved
to Chicago to do him for ev was the first
time I was really on my own to make money,
making money, living off my own money m hm, and
paying for a house or rent and stuff like that.

Speaker 4 (25:30):
And I remember not being able to.

Speaker 3 (25:33):
Like have food for like a week after they paid
and stuff. And I was like, I don't even have
money to buy groceries or anything. Yeah, And I thought,
how did my mother feed six kids on less than
what I was making?

Speaker 2 (25:50):
You know?

Speaker 4 (25:51):
Right?

Speaker 2 (25:51):
I think that often.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
I can tell you the answer to your Chicago thing
is that you were living in an apartment that was
too nice. I'm like, your rent was too high. Nope,
you was living in an apartment that was too nice.
You needed to be an a hostile type situation, shared
shared shower with a bunch of strangers in the hall. Yeah,
but I feel that often when I think about how
overwhelmed I can get anxious, even I can get as

(26:13):
I'm like navigating life in the world and all my
I'm putting air quote responsibilities because I'm like, does not
compare to having six children at this age or four
children at this age. I do have those moments where
I go, how did you do that?

Speaker 2 (26:26):
And people will.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
Say I've asked friends because my day job before I
had SNL, I worked with some people who were in
that situation where they had kids and their partners were
not present, so they were going at it on their
own and they and I'd ask them like, how are
you doing this? And They're like, if you have to,
you be surprised what you're capable of when you don't

(26:47):
have any other options. And so kudos to your mom
because she did a fantastic job. And also shout out
to those teachers who make kids feel seen in that way.
And I think that really does change the trajectory of
one's life, because I have teachers in high school that
I remember thinking, I don't want to disappoint mister Brestler.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
I don't want to disappoint mister Spivey.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
And that's I'm twenty years old, twenty two years old,
still thinking about my high school teacher. I'm like, I
don't even know if they're thinking about me, but they
did such a great job while I was in their
classroom that I'm thinking about them across the country all.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
These years later.

Speaker 4 (27:21):
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
Yeah, were there any male figures in your family that
you could look to and say, I respect the way
you are showing up as a male figure and as
a man.

Speaker 4 (27:32):
Yes, definitely.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
Okay my older brother Lathan, Okay, And I hope he
hears this because I love.

Speaker 4 (27:41):
He was an Air Force.

Speaker 3 (27:43):
Career guy Air Force and went to join the Air
Force right out of high school. He was in the
ROTC during the high school. And you know, he was
always different. He was smarter than everybody. Seriously, like he
was smarter than everybody.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
And you're not just saying that because that's your brother.
I could see it in your high like, No, he
really was.

Speaker 3 (28:03):
He We used to always say he knew a little
bit about everything. Yeah, you know, and just the way
he carried himself like a military dude, and he was
very respectful and pat pride and like he is just.

Speaker 2 (28:15):
An amazing man.

Speaker 3 (28:16):
And so he was one of the first guys that
I looked at like, all right, I'm not like a
military dude, but I dig the way he carries himself
because people respect him. And one time and he's, uh,
he's probably like six one, muscular, broad chest, you know,
handsome dude.

Speaker 4 (28:37):
Yeah, And he came to visit.

Speaker 3 (28:38):
Me when I was at SML and I came up
to the writer's room and with his wife and he
hung out. And he's just one of those personality beies
you think he's running from me or when you are.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
Kissing babies.

Speaker 3 (28:53):
He made the rounds in the writing writer's room, and
then I walked him out to the elevators and they
came back into the writer's room, and all of the
women in the writer's room or a mouth.

Speaker 4 (29:06):
Wide open life, that's your brother. I was like, yeah, yeah,
I did it all.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
I know. He's answer.

Speaker 4 (29:14):
He's charismatic, you love I get it to trust me.

Speaker 3 (29:18):
I get as My whole life has been where's your brother, Laithe.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
That's so many yeah, wait, how much older than you is?

Speaker 3 (29:26):
He he's six years older than me, I think.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Okay, yeah, okay, incredible.

Speaker 4 (29:31):
So he was like like somebody in my family. And
my uncle Warren medals too. He's he was a pastor,
and he he's my birthday buddy.

Speaker 3 (29:39):
We have the same birthday, okay, And so he would
always take me out to birth for we have a
birthday dinner every year.

Speaker 4 (29:45):
And he just stayed in.

Speaker 3 (29:47):
Our lives after my parents split up, as my dad's brother,
and so he just sayed in our lives and he
helped my mom find a house live in. He would
always like, you know, take us shopping for close yeah, yeah,
sears or whatever for.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
School ripears by the way, Yeah and so and he
always wore shirt and ties and like sweater vests and
you know.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
And so whenever I've.

Speaker 3 (30:15):
Played teachers, you know, me and girls, and yeah, I
hope I dressed like my uncle Warren in those roles.

Speaker 4 (30:23):
Yeah, because that's how I saw him too, right. So yeah,
those those guys were very fluential. And then there was
friends of.

Speaker 3 (30:30):
Mine and the other guy I would have to say
obviously or not obviously, but really Big was my best
friend when I was growing up as his name is
Byron Smith, and his family basically took me in and
adopted me as their seventh kid.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
Well.

Speaker 3 (30:45):
Yeah, and so his father, Robert Smith Junior, was just
he was another dude. He was a family dude. He
worked hard, He played golf, and I never knew a
black man to play golf.

Speaker 1 (30:59):
Yeah, like we saw Tiger and then that, but he
wasn't around yah, And.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
So he was another man in my life. That's just totally.
He was an example of like he was tough, he
got people respected him. And like back in those days,
when you go out into being an African American man,
going out into two predominantly white world, you would see

(31:25):
men becoming more docile as they had to deal with people.
My father wasn't like that, and mister Smith wasn't like that, right, right,
And my brother Lincoln wasn't like that, right.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
And I remember seeing my.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
Father and all of them mm hmm, just like not
take any shit from people, right.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
Didn't it make you want to be like that then too?
It makes you want to because you've seen the other
version of it. But you go, I want to show
up like that in the world exactly.

Speaker 4 (31:57):
And I was like that for my kids from my
boy to One of my rules for me a dad
was I will not less somebody disrespect me in front
of my kids. I won't do it.

Speaker 3 (32:11):
You'd be surprised, yes, being a black man in America,
what people will say and do to you in front
of your kids and not have any clue of how
it would affect the way your kids see you. So
even from like a waitress giving you a bad.

Speaker 4 (32:27):
Table or an.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
Officer police officer talking to you like you're not a man,
you know, it's like I'm not.

Speaker 4 (32:36):
My kids are, They're not going to see that.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
Like one time I was in l A one time
and this me and my son were like we basically
j walked because I was trying to get across the
street really quick and the cop was on the other side.
And I get across the street and he goes. The
cop goes, you know what you did is against the law.
And my son, I'm holding my son's hand and I go, yeah,
I know it is. And he goes, I don't want
to see that again. And I go listen, are you

(33:00):
to give me a ticket or you're gonna lecture me?
Mm hmmm, Because I'm not gonna takee both.

Speaker 4 (33:04):
Right, right. My son looked at me like I was Superman.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
Right.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
And that's what you think of your parents at that age,
whether we're saying it or not, because you have had
that experience in someone's child. We're looking at our parents
for cues on how to show up in the world.
And so that was my dog barking yes and amen.
But you see, those moments are paramount and they're pivotal
for us. And I think those are the moments we go, oh, okay,

(33:32):
I'm picking up on something that's not okay. But what
is okay is to stand up for yourself and is
okay to have a boundary. I did break the law
air quotes because I'm like jaywalking. Come on down, I
feel like jaywalking. The punishment for jaywalking should be you
get hit by a car. If you get hit by
a car, and you get hit by the car, if
you didn't get hit by the car, let people rob okay.

Speaker 4 (33:52):
Let God be the judge.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
We don't need we don't need tickets, we don't need you.
Make it, yeah, make it across the street. It's okay,
it's okay.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
And if I don't, my punishment is I've gotten molly
wopped by a vehicles. Okay, I mean I was gonna
ask you what kind of dad you feel you are,
and how much of the way your father was a
father shows up in how you parent your children.

Speaker 3 (34:16):
I would say, Now, I've been in my kid's life
the whole time, even though I got divorced. But I
made sure that I didn't, you know, I didn't want
to have the same relationship that I went through, and
so I moved to Chicago. I bought a place there
and centered my career there and then I just fought

(34:40):
to see my boys as much as I possibly could,
and so I wanted that to be an example to
them also.

Speaker 4 (34:48):
That was one thing.

Speaker 3 (34:49):
And when they were younger and I used to have
to fly back to la and that, you know, and
it was always sad.

Speaker 4 (34:54):
It was always sad.

Speaker 3 (34:55):
Because they knew I was going. Yeah, and I told
them both. I said that I'm going to buy a
place here. I'm gonna buy a place here for us.
And then when I did, I said to my son, Isaiah,
do you remember when I said I was gonna buy
a house there? And he I do, Dad, I remember,
And I was like, this is it I'm here and
we're living here now, you know. And so I try

(35:18):
to let them know that they can talk to me
about anything now, you know, Yeah, they can, no matter
what it is. I let them know that it's it's
a very open relationship. I can shift between being your
father and your friend now. I think the things that
I've taught them or they see for me through example,

(35:39):
it's hard work.

Speaker 4 (35:41):
How much I love my.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
Family, my brothers and sisters and my you know, I
lived in other than Detroit now, and so they have
a much better relationship with my family and so and
because my ex wife, my kids are mixed.

Speaker 4 (35:54):
My ex wife is white. So that added another reason
for me.

Speaker 3 (35:59):
To stay in their lives because they are going to
grow up being seen as African American men, and I
just wanted to be an example for them as to
how the next generation of Meadows Men are going to live.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
I think that's fantastic.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Do you think now as a father, and said, I
heard you say you can switch between that father figural
and a friend with them it Do you think it's
important to be your your kid's friend.

Speaker 3 (36:28):
I think I think you have to have a friendship
relationship with your friends.

Speaker 4 (36:34):
I mean with your kids.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
And you know, I used to say to my sons
when they were growing up, and it was one of
the rules, is that there's going to be a point
in your life where you're going to have to make
a judgment about me and your mom and your grandparents
and your friends, and it's all based on their history
and relationship and the way you see them in me too.

(36:59):
So yeah, I mean I sort of told them, like,
you always will love me as your father. I'm always
going to be the type of father that you're going
to want to, you know, love or respect.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
But at a certain point.

Speaker 3 (37:10):
You're going to have to like figure out if you
respect me as a human being and as a man
and as another person that you see in your life.

Speaker 4 (37:18):
You know, and I've told them this.

Speaker 3 (37:20):
You will lose respect for people that you know for
some reason or another.

Speaker 4 (37:25):
But the people that can maintain that res you know,
maintain the a level of respect, you know, those people
will be there forever.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
You know.

Speaker 3 (37:37):
Like my brother Lathan, I have so much respect for him.
I will always have it, you know, and he I
don't think he'll ever let it let me.

Speaker 4 (37:45):
Down, you know what.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
I yeah, yeah, And is that something you think about
though where you go. I don't ever want to let
these kids down.

Speaker 4 (37:53):
Yes I do.

Speaker 3 (37:54):
And there's been times in my life growing up like
there's I've made mistakes. I'm not deaf, not perfect whatever.
And you know, being in being.

Speaker 4 (38:03):
A person that can be in the public or have
people say things about you online or whatever, you.

Speaker 3 (38:09):
Know that can that can be tough, right And and
I've sort of experienced that a little bit with my
boys where I've had to say the things that you're
seeing or hearing or whatever is not actual.

Speaker 4 (38:22):
You know what's going on or whatever.

Speaker 3 (38:25):
But yeah, it makes it a little bit tougher. And
one of the things I try to do now is
like stay out of news.

Speaker 4 (38:32):
I don't try to do anything.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
See too much about you in the news except what
Molly Shannon rochterd Center college recommendation.

Speaker 2 (38:39):
I'm like, we were doing our research. We're like, damn
Tim is and Tim is out the way.

Speaker 3 (38:43):
Okay, Yeah, I moved to Detroit. I quietly go about
my career now, you know.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
Yes, yes, how did you make that decision to move
to Detroit?

Speaker 3 (38:52):
And it was really I guess during COVID and everything
was I just felt like I wanted to be closer
to people I.

Speaker 4 (39:00):
Grew up with and my family, and I really wanted
my boys.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
To because I know they're in Chicago, right, the boys.

Speaker 3 (39:07):
They grew up in Chicago. But now my oldest son
is out of college. He's living in DC okay, and
the younger one is it NYU.

Speaker 2 (39:15):
Okay, so he's in New York okay.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
Because I know during pandemic it was like, look, I'm
kind of out here on my own in Venice, but
I want to go be closer to the family that
was Chicago.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
Detroit was like to be closer to where you came up.

Speaker 3 (39:29):
Yes, where I came where I grew up, and so yeah,
I bought that place. It was sort of like I
don't even know how to sould, but it was like, well,
I can afford it. I do afford it, so I'm
going to go ahead and buy it.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
Here's my thing.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
I want all my guests to be able to speak
for you guys. So I'm going to need the audience
to show us all some grace and everyone everyone is
simply speaking from their perspective. Tim has worked look at
me defend, I'm like hold on. Tim has worked very
hard for the life and the lifestyle he has. Okay,
so he could afford another place, yeah, bopping my head. Yeah,

(40:02):
and so you got another place.

Speaker 3 (40:04):
Yeah, so I bought this other place and uh and
so I figured I just wanted to be in Detroit.
I wanted to be in Michigan. I want to be
near my family.

Speaker 4 (40:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (40:13):
So I just sort of made it my hub a
lord stand up and everything. It's easier for me to
fly around the country.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
And so, yeah, wherever it is you want to go. Now,
do you how many children do you have? I should
have asked this earlier.

Speaker 4 (40:25):
But yeah, I have two two boys.

Speaker 2 (40:28):
Two boys.

Speaker 1 (40:28):
Okay, it was giving two boys, but I didn't know
if we were leaving out a daughter or.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
Some kind of life.

Speaker 4 (40:35):
Only have the one family.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
Okay, one just it's just one for you, okay, yeah
any time.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
Yeah, the one time when when I when I got
divorced or and everything one I and I relived this
moment over in my head so many times. But I
was dropping my boys off to their moms and then
my youngest and they were young, cute, and my young
my oldest son, Isaiah, he went in, he was they
both hugged me and and he went in and he said, wait, dad,
and he went grabbed the toy, one of his toys,

(41:02):
brought it.

Speaker 4 (41:02):
Out and gave it to me, and he goes, I
want you to give this to your other family.

Speaker 3 (41:09):
I almost started crying. I said, you are my only family.
There's nobody else, and when I go home, I just
think about you guys.

Speaker 4 (41:21):
There's nobody else and there never will be another family. Angel.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
Wait, what what do you think made him say that?
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Yeah,
I don't want to place blame or I understand, I see,
I see, okay, yeah, but.

Speaker 3 (41:37):
I just but it was the sweet and I just thought, like,
and that's the kind of giddy is too man? Now,
he's that kind of man like he was got through
his pain of it, and the next level for him
was like, I want to make you happy.

Speaker 4 (41:56):
And whoever you wherever you're going, I want you to
be happy with that too.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
That is very sweet.

Speaker 4 (42:02):
Yeah. I love my boys.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
Oh good, that's amazing.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
I mean, did you care in terms of career path
for each of them? And I heard you joke that
you know you didn't want your son to get into comedy,
and so he's studying music now in ernest, did you
care what they chose to do for work or what
they're pursuing.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
No, I didn't, and I don't even now, Like you know,
I think the thing I'm trying not to do is
like push them along and like go you know, he
called this person.

Speaker 4 (42:32):
They can and they'll give you a g I'm trying
to let them like achieve things.

Speaker 3 (42:37):
On their all through their own you know, network and
stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (42:41):
That's important.

Speaker 3 (42:42):
But I yeah, my oldest son did some open mic
nights okay, kind of stand up and.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
Stuff, okay, okay.

Speaker 4 (42:51):
In his room he said he did pretty good.

Speaker 3 (42:53):
Yeah, but he's always acted like all through high school
and when he was younger too, he always did well.
He always got either the co lead and he always
played the bad guy to Richard.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
Does he sounds tender to me?

Speaker 4 (43:09):
Giving you the He is very tender, but he is.

Speaker 1 (43:12):
He's thick eyebrows though, Okay, the eyebrows when you know,
when you do think of a villain, you think thick
guy brow. Okay, So, and then your youngest what is
his passion?

Speaker 3 (43:21):
Seemingly his passion is music, awesome, I mean, the oldest
one is into oldest one is into law.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
Understand that's why the DC of it all, okay.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
Yeah, and then the younger one is into music and
art and yeah, he's really good too, very proud of him.
He does his own recordings and puts out music and and.

Speaker 2 (43:45):
He surprised me went too.

Speaker 1 (43:46):
He.

Speaker 3 (43:47):
I was like, I knew he loved art and I
but he never really like show me stuff or okay,
music for me. He was really kept it quiet, you know.
And then one day he told me like, oh, I
got to do a self portrait from my class, and
so I was like, okay, you know, good, good luck.
And then the next day I was like in his
room cleaning up stuff, and I opened his notebook and

(44:09):
he had done an amazing self portrait of himself in pencil.

Speaker 5 (44:15):
Well, and I had never seen his artwork before. Wow wow,
And I was like, you are I told him you
are good, right, It's really good right right, And so
after that, I.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
Was just like I'm going to like, I will support you.
I'm not going to be like one of those parents
of like, you know, maybe you should get a business
degree on the side saying no, you you're good, like.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
Yeah, that's incredible.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
Do you think part of your accepting what it is
your children want to do and accepting their passion and
encouraging them to pursue their passion has to do with
the fact that you are successful and can afford that
second third house or do you think you would.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
Have been that way regardless.

Speaker 4 (44:55):
I think I would have been that way regardless.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
Okay, Okay, I think even.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
You know, like you know, like we're in the same business. Yeah,
I am not Adam Sandler. I'm not Chris Rock. I
don't have those careers. And my kids recognize that, you
know what I.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
Mean, right, They're like, my dad is not Chris Rock.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Yes, And so they know, like there's a limit. We're
not going to have six houses.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
And these are like we're talking each of these these houses.
Moderate we're four bedrooms, five macs, Okay.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Three bathrooms, maybe a swimming pool.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
Right maybe, and only one of them could have a
swimming pool. I understand, I see what we're talking.

Speaker 3 (45:36):
Okay, Yeah, But they know, like when it comes to
the like picking order a showpiz that like I'm you know,
I'm in the middle to the you know wherever. But
they and so they have a good understanding of like
the reason I work hard and the reason I work
so much.

Speaker 4 (45:54):
So I think even if I wasn't doing this, I
think they would still get the same.

Speaker 3 (46:02):
Example, if I was any teacher or an astronaut or whatever,
it would be like dad works all the time, and
he's always he loves his job.

Speaker 2 (46:14):
Beautiful.

Speaker 1 (46:14):
Now, you said something already about the public aspect of
our job. Thus your children have access to stories unless
you're trying to stay out of the way as a result. Now,
given what you just said about Adam Sandler and Chris
Rock's careers and the fact that yes, of course.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Of course you didn't say anything back, I want.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
People to talk really and let's not misconstruing folks. Okay,
at least I'm not misconstruing you here, But when you
speak about their careers and where yours is, I feel like,
as an artist, as a comedian, as a performer, even
saying artist, I kind of roll my eyes a little
bit because I'm like, we just sketch comedy, thank you.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
Well.

Speaker 1 (46:53):
I think that like there's such a vulnerability to what
we do in the fact that it is public, and
when something succeed that's public. When something fails, that's public.
When something is mid that's public. Do you feel any
sort of discomfort around the fact that your kids can
see where you fall in that pecking order?

Speaker 3 (47:14):
No, Okay, I don't because one, I don't think they
really care about.

Speaker 4 (47:19):
The failure or success of projects that I'm in sure.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
But I do think they care about how I do
in the project, right, you know, I think they want like, when.

Speaker 4 (47:31):
If they go see me in something, they want me
to be good at it, you know, right.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
So I don't I don't have.

Speaker 4 (47:37):
That concern of them seeing something be a bomb.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
Okay. And also I kind of feel like I feel like.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
You can I say it, I could see it in
your eyes.

Speaker 3 (47:48):
Well, I feel like there's no real bad choices because
even and this is my perspective after having been in
showbiz for a while, is that it just doesn't matter
mm hmmm.

Speaker 4 (48:01):
And something is a.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
Success, it'll be a success for three weeks, right, and
then you're on to the next thing. If it's something
is a failure, it's a failure for four weeks and
then you're on to the next thing.

Speaker 4 (48:15):
And so all you Chris Rock gave me the Chris
Rock back to Chris Rock.

Speaker 3 (48:21):
If you gave me the best advice and I've said
it to my kids and it's very fucking typical and easy.
Knows to the grindstone. Mm hm, put your nose to
the grindstone.

Speaker 4 (48:35):
Just work, don't worry. Don't look up and worry about
the thing they succeeded, the being it failed.

Speaker 3 (48:41):
You got coming up. Just put your nose to the
grindstone and work. And that's what I've done. And people
will say to me like, oh, I saw you and
blah blah blah, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I forgot that.
I did that because you had your nose to the grindstone.

Speaker 4 (48:54):
YEA.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
My on just focusing on the work itself and not
focusing on the success or failure of things, because.

Speaker 4 (48:59):
I really do believe like in the long run, it
doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
Speak about the Bible that's ecclesiastic and Lauren Hill and
D'Angelo nothing even matters, which is one of my favorite
songs because it's a fact.

Speaker 4 (49:12):
They is mine to I know that song.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
It's refreshing to hear that. Because I don't have children.
I'm on SNL. I am my dog does not give
a damn if a sketch bombs or if its goes viral,
and that's refreshing to hear. And I always wondered what
it would be like to have a family or you know,
I hear about the pressure parents put on themselves to
achieve and to succeed and the ways they want their

(49:36):
children to view them, And I always wonder, just being
in the public eye, what that's like when it's like, Okay,
your kids are old enough to see all of this
stuff and see the work you do. And so that's
refreshing to hear that. It's like, I know it doesn't matter,
and it.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
Doesn't and mainly because where I am and sort of
a thing too, is like none of the projects, that
nothing is dependent.

Speaker 4 (49:57):
On me to be successful or a fail, you know
what I mean.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
Yeah, so I'm sort of in.

Speaker 3 (50:03):
The middle round of like if it succeeds, it'll help me,
I guess for a few weeks and people will be like, oh,
he was in that successful thing.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 4 (50:11):
So that's the place I am in my career.

Speaker 3 (50:13):
Like I said, I'm not like those guys where I
top line the thing and then you know, if it fails,
they're like, oh it didn't you know, his thing didn't
do well mm hmm, and I and I sort of
like being in evil.

Speaker 1 (50:25):
I was gonna say that sounds really lovely. Honestly, I'm
like you seem so zen. It's probably also the meditation.

Speaker 4 (50:32):
It helps, it helps.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
I love hearing this now.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
Is there something aside from Nose to the Grindstone, something
that is really important in your mind as a father
to your sons for them to know, or something you
really want to impart to them. I understand again the
Nose of the Grindstone. You're it's important to you to
show them how the next generation of Meadows show up

(50:56):
in the world. But if you could surmise what it's
really important for you for them to know, what would
that be?

Speaker 4 (51:03):
It's a good one.

Speaker 3 (51:05):
I think the first thing is to trust your family
and keep those people close because they will protect you
and they will help you, and they will tell you
the truth. I mean, if that's one thing I would
tell them, you know, I want them to remember is

(51:26):
that they can trust their family and that they're always
there for you, you know. And then you know the
other things that I have talked to them and told them,
like yeah, working hard, working harder than other people, you know,
be respectful to people that are different from you, caring
about people that are less fortunate, you know. I mean

(51:47):
it sounds a very Pollyanna, but I do try to
like teach them those things through example.

Speaker 4 (51:52):
And nobody's perfect. Also, I'm not perfect.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
Nobody's perfect, right, Are you disciplinary a tough dad? No,
I didn't.

Speaker 3 (52:01):
I didn't spank them ever spanked them. And I hit
both of them on their bottom one.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
Time, literally, what are you doing?

Speaker 4 (52:09):
Yeah? It was like whoa, whoa, whoa?

Speaker 2 (52:12):
Hold on, man, what's up? What's going on?

Speaker 3 (52:16):
When they were younger, they got into a fight one
time with each other and I like grabbed them both
and separated them.

Speaker 4 (52:21):
And then I meet one going to the room and
then I hit his bottom. And then I made another
going to the other room and then hit his bottom
on the way in.

Speaker 2 (52:29):
It was like a coach, like a good game.

Speaker 3 (52:33):
And then my youngest one, Juliet, like when I hit
him on his bottom because I meet him going to
my room, he went.

Speaker 6 (52:40):
Oh thing, and then it fell on the bed and
started he was crying, and I was between laughing and
crying because the face was so funny.

Speaker 4 (52:53):
But also I knew that I hit his bottom.

Speaker 3 (52:56):
You know.

Speaker 4 (52:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (52:57):
And then the thing also being a parent is I
asked them about that and they have no remembrance of
that whatsoever.

Speaker 5 (53:04):
Okay, they were probably like ate nothing, you know, somewhere
around that age.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 4 (53:10):
And I thought it was.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
Like a traumatic and I'm telling you, I cried that night,
like going to bed after they were bed. I was like,
I damaged him and they me never And then do
you cut.

Speaker 4 (53:21):
To now the you don't remember, you don't remember.

Speaker 1 (53:23):
Well, okay, but that's the moment you decided I'm not
going to be doing that's that's not.

Speaker 3 (53:27):
My bad and it wasn't in me anyways, Like I
never I never liked the idea because I've seen it.
I've seen parents, you know, and I was like, I'm
not going to do that with my kids. I think
it's fair. I'm bigger than you. But they knew when
I raised my voice or when I talk to them

(53:47):
in a certain way like I'm talking right now, I'm
telling you something.

Speaker 4 (53:52):
Right now, this is I'm serious about it. Don't do
that again.

Speaker 3 (53:58):
And so yeah, I have to spank them, but they
definitely and now both of them are over six feet tall.

Speaker 2 (54:06):
Yeah, Truyt spanking okay, so all I.

Speaker 3 (54:09):
Was like, it's all just counseling now and just talking
to him very respectfully.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
Yes, you can bring out the voices. The voices will
do it. In my opinion, I didn't really get spanked.
Someone once told me I can tell, but.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
I don't know. I think I'm all right.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
But again, without having children myself, I'm like, I really
seemed to think.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
And I used to babysit.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
It was one of my day jobs, and I'd seen
the different types of parenting styles in Los Angeles, and
I felt like, I really do think you can talk
to kids. And I remember I took a psychology of
childhood class in college.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
I just want to sound smart, no.

Speaker 1 (54:44):
But just something I retained from that that was like, yeah,
kids are smarter than you think, and they understand when
you're talking to them. And I've done it. I remember
babysitting this kid who I love. He just graduated high school.
I started babysitting him when he was four years old
and he just graduated high school and he's going to UCLA,
my rival.

Speaker 2 (55:04):
But I remember saying to him.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
When he was six or something, he was trying to
convince me his mom let them have snacks after a
certain hour, and I was like, I really don't think so.
Everything in here is organic, really, And I was like,
I said to him, can you please stop manipulating me?
And he said, okay, he dropped it. I literally just
was like, okay, just got very serious. I'm like, can
you please stop trying to manipulate me? And he understood,

(55:27):
he didn't go what's that word? And so I don't
I don't tend to think it's necessary. Again, without having
raised children myself, just having had the experience of being
a child, I don't think so. But I don't tend
to think it's necessary. So that's interesting to hear from
you who has have children. How it devastated you seemingly
more than it devastated this.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
Yeah, it did, it did.

Speaker 4 (55:48):
I was just really like, it's just not for me.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
It's not for me, and that's it. Yeah, you know,
And just also just I.

Speaker 3 (55:55):
Don't like making anyone cry.

Speaker 4 (55:59):
He kills me, and so yeah, I got I got
through that quick. I got through that quick.

Speaker 3 (56:04):
And then when he got older, like and I did
my son when he was in high school, he was
already six feet so he's taller than me, and I told.

Speaker 4 (56:13):
The story on Kobe or whatever, but it was true.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
Like one time I was really angry at him and
we were talking and he was standing up and he
was towering over me. I was yelling up at him,
and I went, go sit over there, you go sit down,
And then he went over and sit on the couch
and I would and stood over him and started going like.

Speaker 2 (56:33):
You and I told you blah blah blah.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
But it was like at one point I was looking
at him like he could just reach over and just
punch me on top of the head and pound me
to the ground like a cartoon.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
That's so funny.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
Said, do you think he knew why you were like,
sit down, go sit down, because you immediately started towering.

Speaker 4 (56:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (56:51):
And he was also he was a water polo player,
so he was just not an ounce of fat on
him and just muscular.

Speaker 1 (56:58):
And oh man, now I know Tim. It sounded like
I was wrapping things up when I ask you for
the whatever you tell your children that or you want
to impart to your children, sounds like I was wrapping
up when I was doing asking you about that. But
then I just had to know, do you spreak these boys?
So thank you for indulging me there. Now I end
every episode asking each of my dad's you are my

(57:21):
dad now for a piece of you know, you need
a daughter, you need a daughter.

Speaker 4 (57:26):
I think every man should have a daughter.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
I think every man should have a daughter because somebody
I'll be acting up. Okay, which also I have this
weird theory. It's not real, but that I go, Oh,
anytime a man has only daughters, he has done some
dirt and God is lostic.

Speaker 2 (57:44):
Yeah you have some girls. Okay, but.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
Right, But I end each episode asking my guests for
a piece of advice. And so in your case, given
that you have worked at s an and you know
what that's like, and that's what I currently am, a
piece of advice I'd like to ask you is how
do you manage being a veteran on the show when

(58:10):
you feel like you've exhausted all your ideas and you've
done all the funny stuff and you're not going to
be able to top it after in my case going
into seven years, you did ten I believe, right, yeah, yes,
how do you manage that? What is something you could
share with me that might be helpful?

Speaker 3 (58:32):
Well, I would make a list of my recurring characters, okay,
and then I would say, I'm going to do those
twice a year or three times a year, separating them
over the number of shows. And then the other thing
I would do is start depending on the writers to

(58:55):
come up with some sketches. I think I would start
doing that more. And then I think I would also
just get used to the idea of being light on
the show from week to week, just tim you know,
I know, just except the fact that some younger people
are coming in and they're hungry, and they're new and shiny,

(59:16):
new and shiny, and then you got great ideas and
characters you haven't seen yet. And I would say two,
start working with those people too. Become with Garth in
somebody's Wayne's world.

Speaker 2 (59:31):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
This is so helpful. It's also fascinating to hear from
your perspective how you were you're able to manage recurring characters,
because now with YouTube, it's insane and people are kind
of like, we've seen it. If we want to see it,
we can go online and see it. So how long
you're able to stretch those recurring characters out now feels
so much different, so much more difficulty than it's shorter.

Speaker 4 (59:54):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:55):
And then in terms of the writers coming up with ideas,
it's so fascinating because you feel like, I hope you
come up with something for me. You probably want to
come up with something for the new Shiny. You start
to feel like, you know, I wonder if this is
how older people feel in the world in life, where
it's like I'm not the I'm not the shiny, the
shiny baby anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:00:13):
I'm not that young thing.

Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
I'm just gonna say I think you're great, thank you,
thank you for watching you on the show.

Speaker 4 (01:00:19):
I'm all anything I will say about you that you
have going for you. Also is your versatility.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
You're very versatile and like you can do it all
game you know, I'm saying like game shows, you.

Speaker 4 (01:00:31):
Know what I'm saying, like, yeah, yeah, things.

Speaker 3 (01:00:33):
A lot of people don't get that those type of casting.

Speaker 4 (01:00:37):
On that show. And so just continue to do that stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:00:40):
And you know, the thing I did too in my
last couple of years was I didn't care if I
was a straight guy in the sketch. And sometimes I
started writing stuff just for other people, you know, and
I'll be like, Okay, I'm going to write a sketch
for you know, Sherry and Tan or something.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Yeah, yeah, that's so helpful and all so very kind
of you. Thank you, Thank you so so much. I
love when I love when my dad for the day compliments.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
To hear it from dad is I don't get to
This is amazing. This is why I have the podcast.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (01:01:16):
Tim. I really appreciate you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability on this episode.

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
It means a lot to me.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
I know it's going to mean a lot to people
who are listening as well. Lath In Meadows, I hope
you listen to this because your brother loves the hell
out of you. Same with your kids. Is there anything
you'd like to plug right now? Please do take this opportunity.

Speaker 3 (01:01:39):
Okay, Well I'm going I'm touring all of the country
doing stand up okay, and I'm going to I'm in
the new season of Peacemaker on Max Okay, so I'll
be doing that and I'm going to Lanta to finish
doing that.

Speaker 4 (01:01:53):
This seat right now, okay, and a.

Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
Movie coming out on Netflix or on Christmas time with
Lindsey lowehand great, and I'm in the Pharral Musical movie
from Universal coming out later this year.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
Incredible. What's that one called? Do we know?

Speaker 3 (01:02:11):
I don't know what they call it, but it's the
Ferrall bio.

Speaker 2 (01:02:15):
Okay, incredible, great, great, amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
It's got a green cast and I'm looking forward to
seeing it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:21):
Yeah, same, same, Oh my goodness. Guys, go check Tim
out on tour. Look out for him in the new
Lindsay Lowhand movie on Netflix and the Parral Musical biopic.
I mean, I'm very excited for you. I'm excited to
see you in more. I'm excited to see you. Stay
out of the news. Please stay out of the news.
If I see your name pop up on anything besides

(01:02:43):
the trade, I'm gonna I'm scared.

Speaker 4 (01:02:47):
If you did.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
And that's what you tell your boys, and that's what
I'm gonna tell my listeners. It's not true. If you
heard it, it wasn't it's not.

Speaker 1 (01:02:51):
He didn't do it, not Tim. Thank you again for
for being here. Tim, Thank you guys for listening. I
may go odam and Tim Meadows has been my dad
for the day.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
Thank you, Thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:03:06):
Thanks.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
Dad is a headgum podcast created and hosted by me
aego Wodhem. The show is produced and edited by Anita
Flores and engineered by Anita Flores and Anya Kanevskaya, with
executive producer Emma Foley. Katie Moose is our VP of
Content at Headgum. Thanks to Jason Mathaney for our show
art and Faris Monschi for our theme song. For more

(01:03:27):
podcasts by Headgum, visit headgum dot com or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows. Leave us a review on
Apple Podcasts, and maybe, just maybe we'll read it on
a future episode

Speaker 4 (01:03:42):
That was a hit gum podcast