November 13, 2023 • 26 mins
How many of us have grappled with low self-esteem depression or used food as an emotional crutch?
My journey from a life marked by these struggles to one of purpose, health, and fulfillment wasn't easy, but it was transformative. Hear how I overcame my obstacles, reshaped my mental health and physical fitness, and found my 'why.'
This episode promises to inspire reflection on your life and help you discover your personal 'why.'
In my darkest hour, I realized a downward spiral had brought me where I was, and only I could turn it around. I adjusted my mental inputs, prioritized relationships, and started daily physical exercise.
This discipline resulted in a healthier lifestyle and a flourishing career.
Understanding your 'why' becomes a compass, guiding you to make better decisions and live a more prosperous, fulfilling life.
So, join me for this heartfelt discussion, and let's embark on this journey of self-discovery together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Chapter 2.
Discover your personal why.
So why do we, or should we careabout all of this anyway?
What's the point of getting fitor sharpening our mind?
Well, let's revert to thosequestions for a minute.
Put simply, what's the point ofnot being healthy and fit, of
not being mentally sharp?
Why would any of us not want tofulfill our potential?
(00:25):
I believe that the 5S fitness,family, faith, finances and fun
are the cornerstones ofhappiness and of course, we all
want to be happy.
The trouble crops up when wefocus on short-term goals rather
than thinking about life as awhole.
We get lost in dealing with ourday-to-day schedules, chasing
immediate gratification or justreacting to whatever life is
(00:46):
throwing at us in any givenmoment.
But once you start to widenyour focus to your whole life,
those walls and roof all startto matter a lot.
If you have kids in your life,watching them grow can be a
powerful reminder of how thistime ticks by.
When we're dealing with our ownlives day in, day out, we don't
(01:06):
notice the passage of time somuch.
But there's nothing like awonderful wake-up call of
witnessing your children developnew skills and learn new things
.
Who wants to look back fiveyears down the road and suddenly
say, hey, what the heck did Ido with the last half decade of
my life?
Having a passion or adeep-rooted sense of purpose
(01:26):
helps you to guide the choicesyou make.
Even big decisions become mucheasier to navigate, eventually
becoming more consistent withthe plan you have for life
overall.
Time still passes, of course,but you don't and won't suddenly
wonder where it all went.
Of course you have to haveflexibility prepared to adjust
(01:49):
your plan.
From time to time.
Things change along the path ofany journey and we all have to
re-root when we run up againstroadblocks or speed bumps.
But even course, correction ismuch easier to deal with when
we're in line with our purpose,passion or beliefs and when we
have a clear sense of ourdirection.
(02:09):
In the end, it's all aboutbeing intentional, about what
you want to get out of your life.
What are the experiences you'recreating for yourself right now
that will become the storiesyou would tell later.
Will they be stories you'reproud of?
If your life experiences areones that you're truly happy to
shout about and can look back onwith pride and satisfaction,
(02:31):
they add up to a life well-lived.
My why my personal why is allabout connecting with people,
whether it is my family, myfriends or my tribe.
This drive for connection toothers underscores my very being
.
It's a vital addictive sourceof enjoyment in my life.
I get a huge kick out of beingable to help others become
(02:52):
healthier and happier.
This gives me my joie de vivre.
It makes me jump out of bedevery m-.
The more people I reach, thegreater the impact on my online
community, as other leadersinvariably emerge to carry
forward this fitness movementlike ripples on a pond.
For the past several years, mywhole family has come to the gym
with me bright and early onSunday mornings to teach an
(03:14):
awesome group of people keen tolearn the whole life fitness
manifesto way of being.
Hundreds of people haveattended these Sunday Fund-Aid
events, helping me to realize mygoal of improving the lives of
as many people as possible.
These weekly events are likebeacons of light that remind me
of my purpose.
My personal why can be broughtdown to I'm here to help people
(03:36):
live happy, healthier, moreactive lifestyles while
developing richer, deeper andmore meaningful personal
relationships with themselvesand their friends, families and
communities.
How it all started, my ownpersonal why is deeply rooted in
my past, as a more politicallyobese teenager when I was 9, my
(03:56):
parents announced they weredivorcing and it rocked my world
.
Until that moment, I hadthought I had the perfect life,
so I struggled hard with thistraumatic event.
Suddenly, all I wanted to bewas wanted.
At that time, only one of thechild at my school had separated
parents, which added extrasocial stigma to my experience.
I withdrew from friends, fromfamily, social outings, life
(04:21):
experiences, and tried to fillthem with food.
Our family dinners were wellrounded, but outside of
mealtimes I was a junk foodjunkie.
Food was my crutch.
Very quickly I developed a badhabit of reaching for more
snacks than I should, choosingburgers, fries and other garbage
(04:41):
that barely landed on mystomach before I wanted more.
In hindsight I can see I wasmaking choices without really
understanding why I made them.
I was on autopilot, just actingon an impulse to soothe my
turbulent emotions.
I certainly didn't offloadthose calories with anything
even approaching an activelifestyle.
Blame it on too much playingvideo games or too much lounging
(05:04):
in front of the TV, combinedwith the lack of education
around where my sedentarylifestyle was heading by the
time I reached puberty.
My frame then, about 5'6'' inheight, weighed in at over 200
pounds with an over 38 inchwaist.
The usual emotional andphysical upheavals of
adolescents made the situationeven worse.
(05:25):
As anyone who is or has beenoverweight knows, there's a
stigma that comes with beinglarge.
People can be cruel, butteenagers downright vicious, and
they're ridicule.
My peers found it hard to evenlook me in the eye and I was
well aware of their snickerbehind my back and even right in
my face.
I understood.
(05:46):
I avoided looking at my ownbody when I stepped out of the
shower.
I wore baggy clothing in anattempt to camouflage my
protruding belly At Schwartz man.
I've never wore those, nomatter how hot the weather might
be.
I said no to everything.
I attended pool parties where Iwould have to wear a bathing
(06:08):
suit, no way.
I participated in gym class,out of the question.
What was school dance?
No, thank you.
I'd simply avoid anythingphysical, leveraging my asthma
as an excuse to opt out.
Through these lifestyle choices,I soon became freighted with
low self-esteem.
I approached rock bottom,feeling depressed and isolated.
(06:31):
I could admit now that I evenhad suicidal thoughts, and then
one Sunday morning, decided todo something that I usually
avoided I looked at myreflection in the mirror.
Up to that point, I was able topretend that things weren't as
bad as they were, because Iwasn't looking the problem in
the eye.
Denied, denied, denied.
(06:53):
Me Facing up, however, I brokedown in tears.
I never felt so low in my life.
That moment, experiencingepiphany.
I really didn't like where mylife was going.
I knew that deep down I enjoyedlife At least I had enjoyed it
before and I wanted to enjoy itagain.
(07:14):
I faced a simple choice toremain this way forever or do
something about it.
So I picked myself up and Ideliberately shifted my poor me
attitude.
In that moment, I recalibratedmy motivation, I reasoned my way
to a decision and then I made achange.
I hit the library, forwardedover books on health, nutrition
(07:37):
and fitness.
Yeah, my kids laughed at thiswhen I told them that I went to
the library.
Yes, this is pretty Google, I'mdating myself.
I started eating a little lessand moving my body a little more
.
I started slowly with WalkingDaily, then Mountain Biking.
I strapped on my cassetteplayer yeah, I know dating
myself again with a tape playingon Endless Loop A went to side
(07:59):
B, wynch went back to side A,and so on.
I'd ride until I had exhaustedboth the tape and myself.
Only then would I ride.
I had more and more dailyactivity, incrementally,
eventually joining the gym.
Over 14 months, nearly 18 months, I was transformed.
(08:20):
This time, adolescence itselfwas on my side as I shot over a
6'1" it's a big growth.
Sport that definitely helped meburn more calories.
My weight didn't change thatmuch just to qualify that, but I
did see body fat melt away asnew lean muscle mass appeared.
(08:41):
Now with a better understandingof the science and biology of
health, I know that my physicalchanges came from a combination
of cardiovascular and resistancetraining.
I strengthened my body,increasing my lean muscle, which
cranked up my metabolism, mybody's natural furnace.
I felt stronger, healthier,more confident in my abilities
to tackle whatever physicalobstacles stood in my way.
(09:02):
Rather than saying no to poolparties in gym class, I started
asking people to join me inactivities.
I felt good.
I was alive again.
I've never gone back to thatstate of obesity, but I don't
forget what it was like.
This helps me to relate to myclients who face weight
challenges.
I know how it feels when peoplestare at you.
(09:24):
I know what it's like to be outof breath from climbing a
flight of stairs or to havedifficulty with something as
simple as tying your own shoeswhen you're struggling
physically and really strugglingphysically.
Sometimes it's the littlestthings that seem the hardest to
do.
This describes you right.
I want you to know that you'renot alone and that it doesn't
(09:46):
have to stay this way.
Phase 2 of Finding my why.
In the years that followed,everything seemed to go in the
right direction.
In 2001, I met my life partner,christy, and we had two
wonderful daughters.
I achieved success in mybusiness life as chief operating
officer and founding partnerFittestown, a chain of fitness
(10:07):
equipment stores in westernCanada.
I also became a level oneCrossFit coach of a popular
strength program andconditioning program called
CrossFit.
But I reached a pivotal point atage 32, when, despite having a
wonderful family, strongphysical fitness and some
professional success, I feltuntethered.
I had become obsessed withphysical fitness and while that
(10:29):
meant I had achieved my goal ofweight, I hadn't done anything
to heal myself emotionally andspiritually.
I was carrying a lot of baggage, lots of emotional scars from
various times in my life,especially when I was at the
morbidly obese team, theunderlying issues that I hadn't
dealt with.
So I strayed from the verythings that should have brought
(10:51):
me the most happiness.
If I look at my life in termsof the 5S, I can easily see why
my house was crumbling at thetime.
I was physically and financiallyfit, but I wasn't paying enough
attention to the state of myfaith or my family.
I was a fractured person on adownward spiral, having little
fun, and this cast a shadow overmy entire life.
I was depressed, disconnected,felt like I was headed for a
(11:15):
midlife crisis, and I wasn'tanywhere near midlife.
Even though I had lost all theextra weight of the teenager, I
was still burdened by shame andguilt.
I still saw myself asunattractive and unlovable.
So when I started becomingsuccessful, I binged on other
people's attention.
I craved validation from othersbecause I had felt deprived of
(11:37):
approval for so long.
I neglected and disrespected myfamily and myself.
It was Christy who brought meback to what was important to me
.
I saw that I didn't really needapproval from the whole world
and that this kind of attentionwould never satisfy me anyway.
What I really needed was asteady and secure connection
(11:57):
with the people most importantto me my wife and my daughters.
Christy has always seen me.
I saw something or somethinghit me.
You know that I couldn't seemyself.
She saw me as the man wanted tobe and helped me choose to be
the person, similar to theepiphany experience when I was
15.
(12:18):
I realized that I was the onlyperson that could really turn my
life around.
I Started by taking an inventoryof my life at that moment.
Now let me just say this is notan easy task for anyone.
It takes brutal honesty and awillingness to explore past
choices and past travel, whetherthe outcomes were good or bad.
(12:38):
This exercise is not meant tocreate stress, anxiety, guilt or
regret.
It's simply an exercise torecreate the roadmap of our life
in order to understand what hasbrought us to where we are
today.
Through understanding our path,we can gain valuable insights
to help us better navigate orchange our course.
When I had a wint, this exerciseof introspection, I felt much
(13:00):
like Dorothy exposed in theWizard of Oz, behind the
proverbial curtain.
I had erected many facades toportray myself as what I
believed to be a success.
I worked long, hard hours as Ichased a professional title and
recognition, but often at thecost of my family and friends.
My physical mental healthsuffered with the added pressure
of the expectations I had setfor myself.
(13:22):
With no outlet for my mountingstress.
I continued to withdraw andimmerse myself in my work,
thinking that would make me feelbetter.
But I was wrong.
Admittedly, I was very proud ofmy work ethic, which I had
learned from my parents, butwithout stability and balance in
my personal life, the walls ofmy house bowed like blades of
(13:43):
grass in the wind.
Something had to change.
In retrospect, I don't look atmy decision to pursue my career
as a mistake, but more so as anopportunity to learn what is
important to me At that moment.
I made a decision to put myfamily and personal health ahead
of my career.
Over time, as I committed todaily physical exercise, I found
(14:04):
it that my health improved andmy stress decreased.
I spent focused time with mywife and daughters every single
day, no matter what else I wasdoing.
They came first, and you knowwhat?
My career advanced.
I found I was even moreproductive at work because I
knew that I had to maximize mytime on the job.
My mindset has shifted full 180degrees and I now cherish time
(14:28):
with family and friends alongwith my daily ritual of physical
exercise.
One of the first things I did toget back on the positivity
train was giving up alcohol.
I had started to use booze tocalm myself.
It was my numbing agent when Ifelt the responsibilities of
life bearing down on them.
It was easier to uncork abottle of wine or crack a beer
Than it was to deal with thethings head-on.
(14:49):
I knew that my habit forreaching for the bottle was
connected to my feelings ofunhappiness, since I was
actively trying to create morehappiness in my life.
I had to make a choice.
I made my decision and made itknown to my family, friends and
co-workers.
It was a very challengingtransition, an awesome one that
I will forever be glad I made.
(15:10):
Of course, it can be tough todeal with life stresses at times
.
That never goes away.
But knowing what I feel andknowing that I feel those
stresses for everything thatthey are, is far better than
feeling them Finding Faith.
The process of healing reallybegan and covered my own
personal faith.
(15:30):
Maybe it's because I majored inphilosophy at universities.
I tend to ponder over the samequestions such as why am I here?
What's my life all about?
What can I do to make the worlda better place?
And finally this is the big oneIs this all there is?
Now I realized that the things Iwanted to gain in life didn't
(15:50):
match my daily habits.
I was saying one thing anddoing something completely
different and, to make mattersworse, I was bitter at the world
for not giving me more.
No matter how much success Igained, I never felt satisfied.
It was like having an appetiteyou can never satiate.
Something that's bothdebilitating and demotivating at
the same time.
I knew that I wanted to focuson my personal relationships as
(16:13):
well as my relationship withmyself.
Additionally, I took control ofmy own mental inputs or the
information I received throughbooks, tv, social media and
other mediums.
I could choose the types ofmessages I wanted in my mind.
I began deliberately filling myhead with positive messages
books, popular TED talks and theteachings of influential world
(16:34):
leaders such as Nelson Mandela,abraham Lincoln and Mahatma
Gandhi, just to name a few.
And you know what happened?
I became more aware andappreciative of the people that
made up my communities, bothonline and offline.
I soon saw that I needed toshare what I had learned and to
give back to those I wanted tohelp and, most importantly,
(16:56):
those who wanted help.
And that was it.
At that time, with the positiveinfluence on my wife, I made a
conscious decision to put othersfirst Soon.
After my external voice began tosound more like the one in my
mind, many things startedhappening in my life and the
lives of those around me.
My faith is not set in religionper se, but is founded on a
(17:17):
sense that there's something ineach of us that wants to give.
If we acknowledge that we arelucky to live in a country where
we have freedom and where wecan lead a life of our own
design and offer a hand to afellow human being, we can make
this world an even more amazingplace.
My why is my purpose, and itprovides a filter through which
(17:38):
I can weigh my daily choices,actions and responses.
My faith lights me up fromwithin and gives me intention
for how I want to live my life.
Whether I'm writing a blogentry, posting an update to
social media, calling a client,coaching a Sunday funding class,
serving a customer, helping myfamily, I do it with 120%
enthusiasm and pure, genuineexcitement, and I believe that
(18:01):
the exercise of self-discoveryof your own personal purpose can
bring you your why, along withinfinite joy and satisfaction.
Finding your why, finding yourown why, is the most important
factor to achieving long-termwhole-life fits, and it's
important to remember thatthat's going to look different
(18:22):
for everyone.
Everybody needs to exploretheir own particular reasons for
becoming fit and make thedecision to follow through.
It all boils down to feeling aswell as fueling the desire to
make change and then doing it.
So what do you need to askyourself?
There's a reason why youstarted looking for answers,
whether in this book orelsewhere.
(18:43):
Respect that impulse.
Perhaps it's centered on yourphysical health and vitality,
and that's great.
At the same time, examinewhether there's another issue in
your life that you want to makebetter, be it a situation in
your family, your finances oryour faith.
What motivates us for life?
Think about why fitness mattersto you.
(19:04):
Your primary motivation mightbe appearance, or it may seem
that way at first.
Do you want to return to theweight you were 10 years ago?
Do you want to look good?
In the beginning, people have aremarkable number of whys when
they start a fitness program.
These goals relate tosuperficial, top-layer desire,
but once you start to peel thatback and dig in, you'll find
(19:25):
that there's a lot more going on.
I'm not saying we should rejectthe desire to look good, just
that when we look beneath thatlayer of motivation, we will
always find something deeper.
When I survey the people I havecoached, I find that what drives
most is desire to create a morefulfilling life.
If they're considerablyoverweight and they're closed to
(19:46):
a fit, they don't feelconfident in themselves.
When they feel winded by goingup a flight of stairs, they're
not having fun Mentally, they'reexhausted all the time and they
want it to stop.
For others, such as those whohave suffered heart attacks or
who have life-threateningillnesses such as diabetes, the
why might be a basic desire tolive.
(20:07):
For some of us, the deepermotivation stems from a desire
to support a healthyrelationship with our romantic
partner.
Christie and I are strongbelievers in the same.
Couples who sweat together,stay together.
In my work, I've met a lot ofaccomplished business executives
in their 40s, many who are oncefootball or hockey players who,
but who are now 50 poundsoverweight.
(20:29):
Their daily choices over thepast decade have taken them a
long way from their originallifestyle, usually to a
detriment of their fitness.
Luckily for them, they oftenremember how good it felt to be
strong and to move freelywithout discomfort or pain.
So they have both an existingappreciation as well as a
compelling argument for whatfitness can provide.
(20:49):
Naturally, they want to tapback into that sensation of
personal health For theseclients, the sheer pleasure of
active, the why?
Maybe your goal is to achievebetter cardiovascular fitness so
you can have an activeretirement?
The reality for many of us isthat we can't travel as much as
we like when we're in our primeand midlife years.
(21:11):
We work full time, we havefamilies to provide for and
older parents who need our timeand energy.
If you want to be able to seethe world you retire, you'll
need to be fit and healthy whenyou reach that age.
Whether your idea of greattravel experiences rise in early
to watch the Lions room freelywhile on safari in Africa, or
(21:34):
stripping down to your swimsuitto wallow in warm Caribbean
waters you'll get more out of itif your body is optimal state
of health.
Even to achieve optimal healthis undoubtedly solid reason to
exercise.
Now I know that people havedifferent ideas of what optimal
health means.
For me, health is about feelinggood.
It's being able to function andmove about freely, to play with
(21:57):
my kids and feeling able to trya new sport or activity without
worrying that I'll injuremyself.
I like the idea of being ableto say yes to anything physical,
knowing that I'm not limited bymy state of health or fitness.
If you're really struggling tofind your why try to embrace the
process of discovery.
Start by analyzing your currentfitness habits, your general
(22:19):
approach to health.
Where can you make a small butsustainable shift?
How much water are you drinking?
Are you getting enough sleep atnight?
How much time do you spendmoving your body each day?
Do you exercise at all?
Do you play any sports?
What do you typically eat?
It's all about making little,everyday choices that will
improve your health.
If you're feeling beaten downby your current lifestyle, start
(22:44):
to feed your brain withpositive messages wherever you
find them.
It's amazing how often someoneelse's idea, passion or vision
can trigger a feeling or impulseinside you.
If you're inspired by an eventor activity that you read or
heard about, go try it.
You might surprise yourselffinding that what was once
un-firm and difficult becomessomething that you really love.
(23:05):
Start walking a little Doesn'thave to be very much, just
something.
Get off the couch, walk aroundthe block.
Do it today, not tomorrow.
I know that when it comes tohealth and fitness, it can be
scary to try something new.
I've seen many people so usedto being overweight or out of
shape that they can't imagineany other way of being.
Some folks have lived longer inan unhealthy state than they
(23:28):
ever did in a healthy one, sothey forget what it's like to
feel good.
But you have to remember justbecause this is how it is now
doesn't mean it has to stay thisway.
Change is possible.
In fact, when you connect withyour why and commit to following
through, I can promise you thatchange is inevitable.
This applies to all your goals,not just around physical
(23:51):
fitness.
Where is spurting you on Dreambig?
When I talk to new clients, Ialways ask them two questions.
One what do you want to do?
Two is that all?
The second question is meant asa challenge.
Of course, that's because Idon't believe in settling for
(24:11):
too small a vision or how goodlife looks.
We are all taught to haveimpoverished dreams for
ourselves and to think buyingthings will make us unhappy.
I flip this on his head and Isay shoot for greatness.
That is be.
Don't buy happiness, behappiness.
(24:32):
Just remember you're not alone.
Sometimes, success requires usto be humble enough to know that
we can't do it all by ourselvesand to reach out for others to
help.
Now, this is true for everyone,so don't be afraid to ask.
Now I know many people, mainlymen, who like to rely on digital
shortcuts, google Maps, anyonerather than ask for help.
(24:54):
But you know the most amazingpart about turning to each other
Most of us actually want help.
In our super independent society, it's easy to forget that as
human beings, we are programmedto care how finding why helps
you.
As you start to feel betterabout yourself, life will turn a
happy corner.
(25:15):
Perhaps you'll enjoysupercharged energy levels.
Maybe you will handle stressbetter or notice your metabolism
working faster.
Your life will be filled withgood vibes and move along with a
sense of bounce.
You will think more about thehealth and wellness and,
naturally, make better foodchoices.
As your energy improves, it'sgoing to be easier to attain
(25:36):
your goals, because you willhave the drive and power to push
yourself.
You'll know what feeling betteris going to free up so much
mental energy and give you thecapacity to enjoy all aspects of
your life.
So what's going to fill yourbucket?
Once you have an idea, thenit's a matter of constantly
making choices that keep it niceand full.
(25:58):
Let's discover a cold action.
Let's all start in a sense ofdiscovering each other, starting
with your why is what willdrive you forward and give you
actual motivation to stayfocused on your goal?
You made the decision to pickup the whole life fitness
manifesto, or listen to thisrecording of it.
(26:19):
Now you face this decision,this big decision, to actually
put into action.
Chapter 2.
Discover your personal why.
So why do we, or should we careabout all of this anyway?
What's the point of getting fitor sharpening our mind?
Well, let's revert to thosequestions for a minute.
Put simply, what's the point ofnot being healthy and fit, of
not being mentally sharp?
Why would any of us not want tofulfill our potential?
(00:25):
I believe that the 5S fitness,family, faith, finances and fun
are the cornerstones ofhappiness and of course, we all
want to be happy.
The trouble crops up when wefocus on short-term goals rather
than thinking about life as awhole.
We get lost in dealing with ourday-to-day schedules, chasing
immediate gratification or justreacting to whatever life is
(00:46):
throwing at us in any givenmoment.
But once you start to widenyour focus to your whole life,
those walls and roof all startto matter a lot.
If you have kids in your life,watching them grow can be a
powerful reminder of how thistime ticks by.
When we're dealing with our ownlives day in, day out, we don't
(01:06):
notice the passage of time somuch.
But there's nothing like awonderful wake-up call of
witnessing your children developnew skills and learn new things
.
Who wants to look back fiveyears down the road and suddenly
say, hey, what the heck did Ido with the last half decade of
my life?
Having a passion or adeep-rooted sense of purpose
(01:26):
helps you to guide the choicesyou make.
Even big decisions become mucheasier to navigate, eventually
becoming more consistent withthe plan you have for life
overall.
Time still passes, of course,but you don't and won't suddenly
wonder where it all went.
Of course you have to haveflexibility prepared to adjust
(01:49):
your plan.
From time to time.
Things change along the path ofany journey and we all have to
re-root when we run up againstroadblocks or speed bumps.
But even course, correction ismuch easier to deal with when
we're in line with our purpose,passion or beliefs and when we
have a clear sense of ourdirection.
(02:09):
In the end, it's all aboutbeing intentional, about what
you want to get out of your life.
What are the experiences you'recreating for yourself right now
that will become the storiesyou would tell later.
Will they be stories you'reproud of?
If your life experiences areones that you're truly happy to
shout about and can look back onwith pride and satisfaction,
(02:31):
they add up to a life well-lived.
My why my personal why is allabout connecting with people,
whether it is my family, myfriends or my tribe.
This drive for connection toothers underscores my very being
.
It's a vital addictive sourceof enjoyment in my life.
I get a huge kick out of beingable to help others become
(02:52):
healthier and happier.
This gives me my joie de vivre.
It makes me jump out of bedevery m-.
The more people I reach, thegreater the impact on my online
community, as other leadersinvariably emerge to carry
forward this fitness movementlike ripples on a pond.
For the past several years, mywhole family has come to the gym
with me bright and early onSunday mornings to teach an
(03:14):
awesome group of people keen tolearn the whole life fitness
manifesto way of being.
Hundreds of people haveattended these Sunday Fund-Aid
events, helping me to realize mygoal of improving the lives of
as many people as possible.
These weekly events are likebeacons of light that remind me
of my purpose.
My personal why can be broughtdown to I'm here to help people
(03:36):
live happy, healthier, moreactive lifestyles while
developing richer, deeper andmore meaningful personal
relationships with themselvesand their friends, families and
communities.
How it all started, my ownpersonal why is deeply rooted in
my past, as a more politicallyobese teenager when I was 9, my
(03:56):
parents announced they weredivorcing and it rocked my world
.
Until that moment, I hadthought I had the perfect life,
so I struggled hard with thistraumatic event.
Suddenly, all I wanted to bewas wanted.
At that time, only one of thechild at my school had separated
parents, which added extrasocial stigma to my experience.
I withdrew from friends, fromfamily, social outings, life
(04:21):
experiences, and tried to fillthem with food.
Our family dinners were wellrounded, but outside of
mealtimes I was a junk foodjunkie.
Food was my crutch.
Very quickly I developed a badhabit of reaching for more
snacks than I should, choosingburgers, fries and other garbage
(04:41):
that barely landed on mystomach before I wanted more.
In hindsight I can see I wasmaking choices without really
understanding why I made them.
I was on autopilot, just actingon an impulse to soothe my
turbulent emotions.
I certainly didn't offloadthose calories with anything
even approaching an activelifestyle.
Blame it on too much playingvideo games or too much lounging
(05:04):
in front of the TV, combinedwith the lack of education
around where my sedentarylifestyle was heading by the
time I reached puberty.
My frame then, about 5'6'' inheight, weighed in at over 200
pounds with an over 38 inchwaist.
The usual emotional andphysical upheavals of
adolescents made the situationeven worse.
(05:25):
As anyone who is or has beenoverweight knows, there's a
stigma that comes with beinglarge.
People can be cruel, butteenagers downright vicious, and
they're ridicule.
My peers found it hard to evenlook me in the eye and I was
well aware of their snickerbehind my back and even right in
my face.
I understood.
(05:46):
I avoided looking at my ownbody when I stepped out of the
shower.
I wore baggy clothing in anattempt to camouflage my
protruding belly At Schwartz man.
I've never wore those, nomatter how hot the weather might
be.
I said no to everything.
I attended pool parties where Iwould have to wear a bathing
(06:08):
suit, no way.
I participated in gym class,out of the question.
What was school dance?
No, thank you.
I'd simply avoid anythingphysical, leveraging my asthma
as an excuse to opt out.
Through these lifestyle choices,I soon became freighted with
low self-esteem.
I approached rock bottom,feeling depressed and isolated.
(06:31):
I could admit now that I evenhad suicidal thoughts, and then
one Sunday morning, decided todo something that I usually
avoided I looked at myreflection in the mirror.
Up to that point, I was able topretend that things weren't as
bad as they were, because Iwasn't looking the problem in
the eye.
Denied, denied, denied.
(06:53):
Me Facing up, however, I brokedown in tears.
I never felt so low in my life.
That moment, experiencingepiphany.
I really didn't like where mylife was going.
I knew that deep down I enjoyedlife At least I had enjoyed it
before and I wanted to enjoy itagain.
(07:14):
I faced a simple choice toremain this way forever or do
something about it.
So I picked myself up and Ideliberately shifted my poor me
attitude.
In that moment, I recalibratedmy motivation, I reasoned my way
to a decision and then I made achange.
I hit the library, forwardedover books on health, nutrition
(07:37):
and fitness.
Yeah, my kids laughed at thiswhen I told them that I went to
the library.
Yes, this is pretty Google, I'mdating myself.
I started eating a little lessand moving my body a little more
.
I started slowly with WalkingDaily, then Mountain Biking.
I strapped on my cassetteplayer yeah, I know dating
myself again with a tape playingon Endless Loop A went to side
(07:59):
B, wynch went back to side A,and so on.
I'd ride until I had exhaustedboth the tape and myself.
Only then would I ride.
I had more and more dailyactivity, incrementally,
eventually joining the gym.
Over 14 months, nearly 18 months, I was transformed.
(08:20):
This time, adolescence itselfwas on my side as I shot over a
6'1" it's a big growth.
Sport that definitely helped meburn more calories.
My weight didn't change thatmuch just to qualify that, but I
did see body fat melt away asnew lean muscle mass appeared.
(08:41):
Now with a better understandingof the science and biology of
health, I know that my physicalchanges came from a combination
of cardiovascular and resistancetraining.
I strengthened my body,increasing my lean muscle, which
cranked up my metabolism, mybody's natural furnace.
I felt stronger, healthier,more confident in my abilities
to tackle whatever physicalobstacles stood in my way.
(09:02):
Rather than saying no to poolparties in gym class, I started
asking people to join me inactivities.
I felt good.
I was alive again.
I've never gone back to thatstate of obesity, but I don't
forget what it was like.
This helps me to relate to myclients who face weight
challenges.
I know how it feels when peoplestare at you.
(09:24):
I know what it's like to be outof breath from climbing a
flight of stairs or to havedifficulty with something as
simple as tying your own shoeswhen you're struggling
physically and really strugglingphysically.
Sometimes it's the littlestthings that seem the hardest to
do.
This describes you right.
I want you to know that you'renot alone and that it doesn't
(09:46):
have to stay this way.
Phase 2 of Finding my why.
In the years that followed,everything seemed to go in the
right direction.
In 2001, I met my life partner,christy, and we had two
wonderful daughters.
I achieved success in mybusiness life as chief operating
officer and founding partnerFittestown, a chain of fitness
(10:07):
equipment stores in westernCanada.
I also became a level oneCrossFit coach of a popular
strength program andconditioning program called
CrossFit.
But I reached a pivotal point atage 32, when, despite having a
wonderful family, strongphysical fitness and some
professional success, I feltuntethered.
I had become obsessed withphysical fitness and while that
(10:29):
meant I had achieved my goal ofweight, I hadn't done anything
to heal myself emotionally andspiritually.
I was carrying a lot of baggage, lots of emotional scars from
various times in my life,especially when I was at the
morbidly obese team, theunderlying issues that I hadn't
dealt with.
So I strayed from the verythings that should have brought
(10:51):
me the most happiness.
If I look at my life in termsof the 5S, I can easily see why
my house was crumbling at thetime.
I was physically and financiallyfit, but I wasn't paying enough
attention to the state of myfaith or my family.
I was a fractured person on adownward spiral, having little
fun, and this cast a shadow overmy entire life.
I was depressed, disconnected,felt like I was headed for a
(11:15):
midlife crisis, and I wasn'tanywhere near midlife.
Even though I had lost all theextra weight of the teenager, I
was still burdened by shame andguilt.
I still saw myself asunattractive and unlovable.
So when I started becomingsuccessful, I binged on other
people's attention.
I craved validation from othersbecause I had felt deprived of
(11:37):
approval for so long.
I neglected and disrespected myfamily and myself.
It was Christy who brought meback to what was important to me
.
I saw that I didn't really needapproval from the whole world
and that this kind of attentionwould never satisfy me anyway.
What I really needed was asteady and secure connection
(11:57):
with the people most importantto me my wife and my daughters.
Christy has always seen me.
I saw something or somethinghit me.
You know that I couldn't seemyself.
She saw me as the man wanted tobe and helped me choose to be
the person, similar to theepiphany experience when I was
15.
(12:18):
I realized that I was the onlyperson that could really turn my
life around.
I Started by taking an inventoryof my life at that moment.
Now let me just say this is notan easy task for anyone.
It takes brutal honesty and awillingness to explore past
choices and past travel, whetherthe outcomes were good or bad.
(12:38):
This exercise is not meant tocreate stress, anxiety, guilt or
regret.
It's simply an exercise torecreate the roadmap of our life
in order to understand what hasbrought us to where we are
today.
Through understanding our path,we can gain valuable insights
to help us better navigate orchange our course.
When I had a wint, this exerciseof introspection, I felt much
(13:00):
like Dorothy exposed in theWizard of Oz, behind the
proverbial curtain.
I had erected many facades toportray myself as what I
believed to be a success.
I worked long, hard hours as Ichased a professional title and
recognition, but often at thecost of my family and friends.
My physical mental healthsuffered with the added pressure
of the expectations I had setfor myself.
(13:22):
With no outlet for my mountingstress.
I continued to withdraw andimmerse myself in my work,
thinking that would make me feelbetter.
But I was wrong.
Admittedly, I was very proud ofmy work ethic, which I had
learned from my parents, butwithout stability and balance in
my personal life, the walls ofmy house bowed like blades of
(13:43):
grass in the wind.
Something had to change.
In retrospect, I don't look atmy decision to pursue my career
as a mistake, but more so as anopportunity to learn what is
important to me At that moment.
I made a decision to put myfamily and personal health ahead
of my career.
Over time, as I committed todaily physical exercise, I found
(14:04):
it that my health improved andmy stress decreased.
I spent focused time with mywife and daughters every single
day, no matter what else I wasdoing.
They came first, and you knowwhat?
My career advanced.
I found I was even moreproductive at work because I
knew that I had to maximize mytime on the job.
My mindset has shifted full 180degrees and I now cherish time
(14:28):
with family and friends alongwith my daily ritual of physical
exercise.
One of the first things I did toget back on the positivity
train was giving up alcohol.
I had started to use booze tocalm myself.
It was my numbing agent when Ifelt the responsibilities of
life bearing down on them.
It was easier to uncork abottle of wine or crack a beer
Than it was to deal with thethings head-on.
(14:49):
I knew that my habit forreaching for the bottle was
connected to my feelings ofunhappiness, since I was
actively trying to create morehappiness in my life.
I had to make a choice.
I made my decision and made itknown to my family, friends and
co-workers.
It was a very challengingtransition, an awesome one that
I will forever be glad I made.
(15:10):
Of course, it can be tough todeal with life stresses at times
.
That never goes away.
But knowing what I feel andknowing that I feel those
stresses for everything thatthey are, is far better than
feeling them Finding Faith.
The process of healing reallybegan and covered my own
personal faith.
(15:30):
Maybe it's because I majored inphilosophy at universities.
I tend to ponder over the samequestions such as why am I here?
What's my life all about?
What can I do to make the worlda better place?
And finally this is the big oneIs this all there is?
Now I realized that the things Iwanted to gain in life didn't
(15:50):
match my daily habits.
I was saying one thing anddoing something completely
different and, to make mattersworse, I was bitter at the world
for not giving me more.
No matter how much success Igained, I never felt satisfied.
It was like having an appetiteyou can never satiate.
Something that's bothdebilitating and demotivating at
the same time.
I knew that I wanted to focuson my personal relationships as
(16:13):
well as my relationship withmyself.
Additionally, I took control ofmy own mental inputs or the
information I received throughbooks, tv, social media and
other mediums.
I could choose the types ofmessages I wanted in my mind.
I began deliberately filling myhead with positive messages
books, popular TED talks and theteachings of influential world
(16:34):
leaders such as Nelson Mandela,abraham Lincoln and Mahatma
Gandhi, just to name a few.
And you know what happened?
I became more aware andappreciative of the people that
made up my communities, bothonline and offline.
I soon saw that I needed toshare what I had learned and to
give back to those I wanted tohelp and, most importantly,
(16:56):
those who wanted help.
And that was it.
At that time, with the positiveinfluence on my wife, I made a
conscious decision to put othersfirst Soon.
After my external voice began tosound more like the one in my
mind, many things startedhappening in my life and the
lives of those around me.
My faith is not set in religionper se, but is founded on a
(17:17):
sense that there's something ineach of us that wants to give.
If we acknowledge that we arelucky to live in a country where
we have freedom and where wecan lead a life of our own
design and offer a hand to afellow human being, we can make
this world an even more amazingplace.
My why is my purpose, and itprovides a filter through which
(17:38):
I can weigh my daily choices,actions and responses.
My faith lights me up fromwithin and gives me intention
for how I want to live my life.
Whether I'm writing a blogentry, posting an update to
social media, calling a client,coaching a Sunday funding class,
serving a customer, helping myfamily, I do it with 120%
enthusiasm and pure, genuineexcitement, and I believe that
(18:01):
the exercise of self-discoveryof your own personal purpose can
bring you your why, along withinfinite joy and satisfaction.
Finding your why, finding yourown why, is the most important
factor to achieving long-termwhole-life fits, and it's
important to remember thatthat's going to look different
(18:22):
for everyone.
Everybody needs to exploretheir own particular reasons for
becoming fit and make thedecision to follow through.
It all boils down to feeling aswell as fueling the desire to
make change and then doing it.
So what do you need to askyourself?
There's a reason why youstarted looking for answers,
whether in this book orelsewhere.
(18:43):
Respect that impulse.
Perhaps it's centered on yourphysical health and vitality,
and that's great.
At the same time, examinewhether there's another issue in
your life that you want to makebetter, be it a situation in
your family, your finances oryour faith.
What motivates us for life?
Think about why fitness mattersto you.
(19:04):
Your primary motivation mightbe appearance, or it may seem
that way at first.
Do you want to return to theweight you were 10 years ago?
Do you want to look good?
In the beginning, people have aremarkable number of whys when
they start a fitness program.
These goals relate tosuperficial, top-layer desire,
but once you start to peel thatback and dig in, you'll find
(19:25):
that there's a lot more going on.
I'm not saying we should rejectthe desire to look good, just
that when we look beneath thatlayer of motivation, we will
always find something deeper.
When I survey the people I havecoached, I find that what drives
most is desire to create a morefulfilling life.
If they're considerablyoverweight and they're closed to
(19:46):
a fit, they don't feelconfident in themselves.
When they feel winded by goingup a flight of stairs, they're
not having fun Mentally, they'reexhausted all the time and they
want it to stop.
For others, such as those whohave suffered heart attacks or
who have life-threateningillnesses such as diabetes, the
why might be a basic desire tolive.
(20:07):
For some of us, the deepermotivation stems from a desire
to support a healthyrelationship with our romantic
partner.
Christie and I are strongbelievers in the same.
Couples who sweat together,stay together.
In my work, I've met a lot ofaccomplished business executives
in their 40s, many who are oncefootball or hockey players who,
but who are now 50 poundsoverweight.
(20:29):
Their daily choices over thepast decade have taken them a
long way from their originallifestyle, usually to a
detriment of their fitness.
Luckily for them, they oftenremember how good it felt to be
strong and to move freelywithout discomfort or pain.
So they have both an existingappreciation as well as a
compelling argument for whatfitness can provide.
(20:49):
Naturally, they want to tapback into that sensation of
personal health For theseclients, the sheer pleasure of
active, the why?
Maybe your goal is to achievebetter cardiovascular fitness so
you can have an activeretirement?
The reality for many of us isthat we can't travel as much as
we like when we're in our primeand midlife years.
(21:11):
We work full time, we havefamilies to provide for and
older parents who need our timeand energy.
If you want to be able to seethe world you retire, you'll
need to be fit and healthy whenyou reach that age.
Whether your idea of greattravel experiences rise in early
to watch the Lions room freelywhile on safari in Africa, or
(21:34):
stripping down to your swimsuitto wallow in warm Caribbean
waters you'll get more out of itif your body is optimal state
of health.
Even to achieve optimal healthis undoubtedly solid reason to
exercise.
Now I know that people havedifferent ideas of what optimal
health means.
For me, health is about feelinggood.
It's being able to function andmove about freely, to play with
(21:57):
my kids and feeling able to trya new sport or activity without
worrying that I'll injuremyself.
I like the idea of being ableto say yes to anything physical,
knowing that I'm not limited bymy state of health or fitness.
If you're really struggling tofind your why try to embrace the
process of discovery.
Start by analyzing your currentfitness habits, your general
(22:19):
approach to health.
Where can you make a small butsustainable shift?
How much water are you drinking?
Are you getting enough sleep atnight?
How much time do you spendmoving your body each day?
Do you exercise at all?
Do you play any sports?
What do you typically eat?
It's all about making little,everyday choices that will
improve your health.
If you're feeling beaten downby your current lifestyle, start
(22:44):
to feed your brain withpositive messages wherever you
find them.
It's amazing how often someoneelse's idea, passion or vision
can trigger a feeling or impulseinside you.
If you're inspired by an eventor activity that you read or
heard about, go try it.
You might surprise yourselffinding that what was once
un-firm and difficult becomessomething that you really love.
(23:05):
Start walking a little Doesn'thave to be very much, just
something.
Get off the couch, walk aroundthe block.
Do it today, not tomorrow.
I know that when it comes tohealth and fitness, it can be
scary to try something new.
I've seen many people so usedto being overweight or out of
shape that they can't imagineany other way of being.
Some folks have lived longer inan unhealthy state than they
(23:28):
ever did in a healthy one, sothey forget what it's like to
feel good.
But you have to remember justbecause this is how it is now
doesn't mean it has to stay thisway.
Change is possible.
In fact, when you connect withyour why and commit to following
through, I can promise you thatchange is inevitable.
This applies to all your goals,not just around physical
(23:51):
fitness.
Where is spurting you on Dreambig?
When I talk to new clients, Ialways ask them two questions.
One what do you want to do?
Two is that all?
The second question is meant asa challenge.
Of course, that's because Idon't believe in settling for
(24:11):
too small a vision or how goodlife looks.
We are all taught to haveimpoverished dreams for
ourselves and to think buyingthings will make us unhappy.
I flip this on his head and Isay shoot for greatness.
That is be.
Don't buy happiness, behappiness.
(24:32):
Just remember you're not alone.
Sometimes, success requires usto be humble enough to know that
we can't do it all by ourselvesand to reach out for others to
help.
Now, this is true for everyone,so don't be afraid to ask.
Now I know many people, mainlymen, who like to rely on digital
shortcuts, google Maps, anyonerather than ask for help.
(24:54):
But you know the most amazingpart about turning to each other
Most of us actually want help.
In our super independent society, it's easy to forget that as
human beings, we are programmedto care how finding why helps
you.
As you start to feel betterabout yourself, life will turn a
happy corner.
(25:15):
Perhaps you'll enjoysupercharged energy levels.
Maybe you will handle stressbetter or notice your metabolism
working faster.
Your life will be filled withgood vibes and move along with a
sense of bounce.
You will think more about thehealth and wellness and,
naturally, make better foodchoices.
As your energy improves, it'sgoing to be easier to attain
(25:36):
your goals, because you willhave the drive and power to push
yourself.
You'll know what feeling betteris going to free up so much
mental energy and give you thecapacity to enjoy all aspects of
your life.
So what's going to fill yourbucket?
Once you have an idea, thenit's a matter of constantly
making choices that keep it niceand full.
(25:58):
Let's discover a cold action.
Let's all start in a sense ofdiscovering each other, starting
with your why is what willdrive you forward and give you
actual motivation to stayfocused on your goal?
You made the decision to pickup the whole life fitness
manifesto, or listen to thisrecording of it.
(26:19):
Now you face this decision,this big decision, to actually
put into action.
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