Why Perimenopause and Menopause Brains Choose Comfort Over Change

Resolve to change without making your body the battleground. In this week's episode I unpack why self-sabotage spikes for women in their 40s and 50s and explain, with clarity and compassion, how a survival-focused brain chooses short-term comfort over long-term goals when hormones, stress, and diet history collide. Rather than blaming willpower, I reframe self-sabotage as protection, then map a kinder, more effective path forward.

I get practical about the peri and postmenopause landscape: declining oestrogen and progesterone affecting serotonin, dopamine and GABA, cortisol spikes during the festive season, and the dieting fatigue that primes the mind to expect failure. I walk through the emotional eating loop—stress, soothe, shame, restrict, repeat—and shows why removing foods without adding regulation guarantees a rebound. You’ll learn why willpower is lowest when you need it most and how to build results on safety, structure, nourishment, compassion and accountability.

Across six actionable steps, I share how to neutralise food language, stabilise blood sugar with protein-forward, regular meals, and use simple nervous system tools like slow breathing, grounding and reducing overstimulation. I show how shrinking goals creates momentum, how curiosity replaces shame, and why supportive accountability turns consistency into a habit. If you’re tired of starting over each January, this conversation offers a steady plan to feel calm, supported and finally in control.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hi, I'm Susie Garden and this is the Ageless and
Autumn Podcast.
I'm an age-defying naturopathand clinical nutritionist and
I'm here to bust myths aroundwomen's health and ageing so
that you can be ageless andawesome in your 40s, 50s, and
beyond.

(00:20):
The Ageless and Awesome Podcastis dedicated to helping women
through perimetopause andmenopause with great health, a
positive mindset, and outrageousconfidence.
Hit subscribe or follow now andlet's get started.
Hello, gorgeous one, and welcometo this week's episode of the
Ageless and Awesome Podcast.

(00:42):
So we're in that little periodbetween Christmas and New Year
where we don't know what day itis, we don't know what we're
eating, what we're doing, notmoving, all the things.
And so today I'm gonna talkabout something that I see all
the time in my work andsomething that causes actually
quite a lot of shame for women.

(01:03):
And that is self-sabotage.
That pattern where you startstrong, and I'm thinking about
New Year's resolutions, you feelmotivated, you're doing all the
right things, and then somehowfind yourself back at square
one.
And maybe that looks likeemotional eating.
Maybe that's giving up after aone-off meal plan.

(01:24):
Maybe it's thinking, what's thepoint?
Maybe it's telling yourself,I'll start again Monday.
And if this is you, I want youto hear this right away.
You're not broken, you're notweak, you are not failing.
Self-sabotage is not a characterflaw, it is a nervous system and
mindset response.

(01:45):
And it's really common for womenin peri and postmenopause.
So today I'm going to explainwhy self-sabotage actually
happens, why it becomes morecommon after 40, how emotional
eating fits into this pattern,and importantly, how to break
the cycle for good withoutrelying on willpower or

(02:06):
perfection.
So, uh, as I mentioned, this iswhen I'm recording this podcast,
I'm thinking about New Year'sresolutions and how we set
ourselves up sometimes to failwith trying to reach perfection.
I think it's really why themajority of people give up on
their new year's resolutionsbefore the end of January.

(02:26):
And I don't want that for you.
If you want change, if you'vebeen thinking every year I want
to feel better in my body, Iwant to get more energy, I want
to sleep better.
If you've been putting up withthings for years, now is the
time to go.
Right, 2026 is going to be myyear, and I am going to make
sure I don't self-sabotage andjust give up.

(02:48):
So let's dive in.
So, what is self-sabotagereally?
We often talk aboutself-sabotage as if it's
something that we choose.
Like, why did I do that tomyself?
Why can't I just stick to it?
Why do I always have to ruinthings?

But here's the truth: self-sabotage is not (03:04):
undefined
self-destruction, it isself-protection.
Your brain and your nervoussystem are wired for one main
thing, and that is survival.
That is keeping you safe.
Not successful, not lean, notconfident, safe.

(03:26):
And when you attempt to change,especially after years of
dieting, stress, disappointment,your brain doesn't automatically
see this change as being apositive thing.
It sees uncertainty, it sees uhsees rather unfamiliar
territory.

(03:47):
Uh, there's this risk offailure, there's this emotional
exposure.
And when your nervous systemfeels unsafe, it looks for
relief.
And that relief often comes inthe form of you guessed it,
food, comfort eating, numbing,stopping altogether, and
reverting to familiar habits.

(04:08):
So when you sabotage yourprogress, your body isn't
betraying you, it's trying tosoothe you.
Self-sabotage becomes morecommon in peri- and
post-menopause, and this is nottalked about enough.
And here's why hormonal shiftsaffect emotional regulation.

(04:29):
We have declining estrogen andprogesterone, and that impacts
our serotonin, our dopamine, ourGABA.
GABA is a calmingneurotransmitter, and this means
we have lower mood resilience,higher emotional sensitivity,
stronger stress responses, andgreater urge for comfort.
And food, you know, that oldfriend becomes a fast, reliable

(04:53):
source of relief.
Another reason is our cortisolcan be a little bit higher, a
little bit more dysregulated.
It's this chronic stress and ourmidlife kind of responsibilities
can lead to elevated cortisol,and particularly around this
time of year, this festiveseason, spending time with

(05:14):
family can really elevate ourcortisol.
And that increases our cravings,our impulsive behavior, our
emotional eating, the I don'tcare moments.
And when cortisol is higher,your brain prioritizes quick
comfort, not long-term goals.

(05:35):
Also, you can get dietingfatigue.
This is another factor.
Most women over 40 have dietedrepeatedly.
I hear this all the time, allthe time when I'm talking to
clients on their weight lossassessments.
So they've dieted repeatedly,tried all of the things,
restricted for years, been goodin inverted commas, and then bad
in inverted commas, and blamedthemselves for weight regain.

(05:59):
And your brain remembers this.
So when you start yet anotherplan, your subconscious says,
here we go again, this won'tlast.
And that belief quietly drivessabotage because the mind
believes everything we tell it.
That is for certain.
The mind believes what we tellit.
If you tell it negative things,it will believe it.

(06:20):
If you tell it positive things,it will believe it.
It's so important that we arealways positive in when we're
talking to ourselves, ourself-talk.
Really big part ofself-sabotage.
So let's talk about emotionaleating because this is where
self-sabotage often shows up,particularly in the field that I

(06:42):
work in.
So here's a common loop.
One, you feel stressed,overwhelmed, tired, lonely,
bored, or unappreciated.
Very quick.
Does that sound familiar?
Uh, two, you reach for food forcomfort or relief, and and then
you feel temporarily better.
You feel calmer, and then theguilt kicks in, the shame.

(07:05):
You judge yourself, you talknegatively to yourself, you
berate yourself, and then so yourestrict and go, okay, I'm gonna
be good in inverticomas.
Or you start again, then thestress increases, and then the
cycle repeats.
This is not about lack ofdiscipline.
This is about unmet emotionalneeds.

(07:26):
This is about a nervous systemdysregulation, under-eating, and
blood sugar crashes,perfectionism, self-criticism.
This is complex.
So food becomes a pause, areward, a relief, a coping tool.
And when you remove food withoutreplacing the regulation,

(07:47):
sabotage is inevitable,unfortunately.
And let's talk about whywillpower will never fix this.
And this is where so many womenget stuck.
They think if I could just bestronger, if I had more
discipline, if I stopped beingso emotional.
But willpower is a short-termresource.
And here's the kicker whenyou're in midlife.

(08:10):
Willpower is lowest whenhormones are fluctuating, blood
sugar is unstable, sleep ispoor, and stress is high.
Uh, perimenopause andpost-menopause, anyone?
Um, so relying on willpower inperi, particularly, is like
trying to hold your breathunderwater forever.
It's just not sustainable.

(08:30):
Self-sabotage isn't fixed bystricter rules, more
restriction, punishment,starting over.
It's fixed by safety, structure,nourishment, compassion,
self-compassion as well,support, and accountability.

(08:51):
So, how do you break this cycle?
If this is something you'refinding yourself in consistently
over and over again, you did itlast year, you did it the year
before, and you're kind of like,do I really want to do this
again?
Um, let's talk about whatactually works.
So, number one is stop makingfood the enemy.
Food is not the problem.

(09:11):
Your relationship with foodmight be the problem.
When food is forbidden, itbecomes emotionally charged.
When it's neutral, the urgencyfades.
When I'm working with clients, Iremove that moral language
around food and focus onnourishment, not restriction.
Number two is stabilizing yourblood sugar.

(09:33):
This is critical.
Many emotional eating episodesare actually hunger,
underfueling, and cortisolcrashes.
And protein, regular meals, andadequate um calories reduce
sabotage dramatically.
Number three, regulate yournervous system.
A dysregulated nervous systemwill always seek relief.

(09:57):
And simple tools that you canbring into your day are just
slow breathing, sitting at thecomputer, slow breathing,
driving your car, slowbreathing, walking, grounding,
getting your feet out intonature, into the grass, into the
soil, rest, boundaries, sayingno when you want to say no

(10:18):
rather than yes, and lessstimulation.
So splitting your attentionbetween your phone, your screen,
your social media, and the TV,for example.
That's a classic tooverstimulate your brain.
You cannot think your way out ofsabotage, you cannot talk
yourself out of it.
You must calm your nervoussystem and your body first.

(10:41):
Number four, shrink the goal.
Big goals create pressure.
You think about it.
If you have 30 kilos to lose,that seems insurmountable.
Pressure creates avoidance.
So breaking that goal into smallachievable actions.
What sounds better?
I need to lose 30 kilos or Ineed to lose half a kilo this

(11:04):
week.
Right?
Half a kilo this week seems waymore achievable than 30 kilos.
Small achievable actions buildtrust and momentum, and
consistency beats intensityevery single time.
Number five, replace shame withcuriosity.

(11:24):
Instead of why did I do that?
It's asking, what was I needingin that moment?
How much more compassionate isthat?
This single shift changeseverything.
Use accountability, is my numbersix, my tip.
This is the missing piece formost women.
Not accountability that shamesyou, but accountability that

(11:48):
supports you, that keeps youanchored, that helps you course
correct, that normalizessetbacks, and that stops the
spiral.
And this is one of the keythings that I think makes the
GLO Protocol successful andstops women having to start over
and start over is thisaccountability.
We know from the research itworks because you're just not

(12:10):
doing it alone anymore.
So if you've been stuck in acycle of sabotage, and this can
be over years, stuck in a cycleof emotional eating and starting
over again, then please, pleasehear this clearly.
Nothing is wrong with you.
Your body, your nervous systemis trying to protect you.

(12:30):
And when you understand thepsychology, when you support
your hormones, when you nourishyour body, you calm your nervous
system and have accountability,self-sabotage loses its grip.
And if you're ready to stoprepeating that cycle and feeling
steady, supported, and finallyin control, I would love to help

(12:54):
you.
The Glow Protocol is mysignature program designed
specifically for women in periand postmenopause who want
sustainable weight loss, whowant emotional eating freedom,
hormone balance, mindsetsupport, and accountability that
actually works.
You don't need another diet.
You need support thatunderstands you.

(13:14):
You'll find the link to find outmore about the Glow Protocol in
the show notes and book in yourperi weight loss assessment with
me.
I don't allow people to justenroll in this program without
me having a good conversationwith you first to make sure that
we're the right fit to worktogether and to make sure you're
ready for it.
I have a great success rate, andit's because I think I screen

(13:36):
really well.
I'm not going to take you intothe program if I don't think
you're ready.
So thank you for being here withme today.
If this episode resonated,please share it with a friend
who feels stuck in the samecycle.
She will feel seen.
And if you haven't already, hitfollow so you don't miss future
episodes.
So until next time, take care,be kind to yourself, and I'll be

(14:00):
back next week with some morefresh content.
Thanks so much for joining me onthe Ageless and Awesome podcast.
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(14:21):
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